Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with alanon

Twelve-step programs and non-theism

granted — Fri, 09 Mar 2007 14:52:49 -0800

Non-theist twelve-steppers - how do you reconcile the two philosophies? I've been thinking for years about attending some twelve-step meetings - Al-Anon and CoDA specifically - but as an agnostic, I'm skeptical (heh) about the Higher Power part. I know there are many atheists and agnostics who have been able to interpret this aspect of the process so that it jives with their non-belief, and I'm wondering if there are any of you here who could share how you've done it (in any 12-step program, not just the two I've named above.).

(I'm really not interested in hearing about how cultish and creepy you think these groups are. I respect the opinion, but that's not what I'm looking for here.)

What should I do about my rehab-avoiding father?

otherwordlyglow — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 16:00:49 -0800

My father just left rehab for the 2nd time. What is an appropriate response that will get him to realize that he needs to deal with his alcoholism? My 72 year old dad lives by himself in a small town in the Midwest. None of his immediate family lives near by. He's always been a heavy drinker but the last few years have been really rough for him and he's acknowledged that he has a problem with alcohol. However, he can't seem to get himself to do anything about it. As of today, he's quit rehab for the 2nd time in just over a year. In both cases, he didn't last more than 3 days. My feeling is that he's been dragging his feet and making excuses and generally being a huge baby about the whole thing and I think the best response is to tell him that I'm disappointed and then explain that until he's made some progress with treatment (attending meetings regularly would be a start), I don't want to be in his life. (Is this the "detachment" thing I hear about?) Yeah, I should probably look into Al Anon for long-term coping strategies, but what's a good way of dealing with him right now?

Al Anon experiences?

Anonymous — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 18:10:38 -0800

I would like to hear about your experiences with Al-Anon. I also have a few specific questions. My boyfriend and I are both from alcoholic families and we have been thinking about going to some Al-Anon meetings.

Here are some specific questions:

In part because my parent was quite secretive about drinking, I feel that my situation wasn't really that bad, though it's definitely had an effect on me, particularly toward the end of my time living at home. Will I feel out-of-place at meetings because my experiences are probably much more mild than other people's?

Is it a good idea for us to attend the same meetings?
(Our situations are rather different - his was much more severe, and neither of his parents are interested in AA or any other kind of treatment, whereas my parent has been in AA for the last few years and is doing pretty well.)

What is the general age of participants? Is it heavy on high school kids? College kids? Children-of-alcoholics? Spouses-of-alcoholics?

Has it really helped you?

Anything else you can tell me will also be appreciated!

If you would like to send me a private email, use askmefianonymous at gmail dot com