Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with ageing

Care no more to clothe and eat

paduasoy — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 13:37:46 -0800

I am considering going to live with my 83 year-old grandmother, whom we think has some kind of (not yet diagnosed) dementia, in a year or so. She lives 500 miles from my friends and family. I know caring for her will be hard; how can I prepare? This was my grandmother (step-grandmother, in fact), eighteen months ago. Since then her memory has got worse and her ability to care for herself has declined. She has lost weight ('fridge full of gone-off food) and is currently wearing the same clothes that she has been wearing for at least three or four weeks. Her rationality has also declined a bit.

She appears very anxious about her memory loss but in denial about it. I live 500 miles away. We visited two weeks ago and are going back in the next few weeks because of further concerns from other people in the neighbourhood. A friend of hers is going to the doctor with her next week. We have talked to her about power of attorney and the forms for this are ready to be signed by her doctor (who has to confirm that she currently has capacity to grant a power of attorney).

I am planning to use as much of my leave as possible to visit her, and am considering moving to live with her in about 12-18 months. I have commitments here until then (I do realise she may die before then, or have to go into residential care). My question is, what can I do now to prepare for the possibility of caring for her? I would plan to get a job for about three days a week whilst doing so. She lives in a rural area.

Better Skin

Fairchild — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:59:44 -0800

Large pores on my face are getting me down. My skin is looking rougher and rougher as the years go by. I'm 36, female. I have a few sun spots on my cheeks and many large pores on and around my nose, on my cheeks, and basically all over the center of my face. I also have some superficial acne scars. I'm looking for solutions to get a more refined look. I'm not expecting miracles but it would nice to see some improvement.

Is there anything I can do besides harsh chemical peels in the doctor's office? I'm not against chemical peels but am concerned about recovery. Anecdotes are appreciated. Also, is there an at-home chemical peel line that you especially like?

I've had microdermabrasion in the past. I do think microdermabrasion is beneficial for looking more refreshed, but it does nothing to improve the texture of my skin, nor does it fade sun spots.

Thanks so much.

Healthy, active, famous old people.

OlivesAndTurkishCoffee — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 16:28:43 -0800

Help me compile a list of healthy, active, famous old people. A close friend of mine is turning 70 this week and keeps commenting on how all his friends are "dropping like flies". He is still very healthy and looks and acts quite young.

I'll like to fill his birthday card with a list of people who are in their seventies and eighties who are still active and healthy to inspire him that 70 isn't the end of the road.

I know I must be drawing a huge blank, because Tony Bennet and George Burns are the only two people I can come up with. Any ideas....?

It doesn't matter if they are male or female or living or dead, just so long as they're relatively famous.

Dealing with memory loss in older people

Anonymous — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 12:54:11 -0800

How can I constructively discuss my grandmother's short-term memory loss with her? I'm currently staying with my grandmother for a couple of weeks - she's in her early 80s. She had a second pulmonary embolism just before Christmas and is still recovering from that (breathlessness). I, and others in the family, are worried about her short-term memory loss. I have noticed this for about the last three years. Other family members have noticed it but thinks it comes and goes.

A trivial example is her confusion about what day it is - this morning she asked six times in twelve minutes what day it was. A more important example is that she is not able to remember to take her drugs (she has three lots to take at different times each day). The most important, warfarin, is supopsed to be taken at 6pm. We have put up reminders in places where she is likely to be. The last couple of days I've said "it's six o'clock" at 6, and she's asked what the significance of the time is. We have been through what she has to take when at least four times in the last three days, and I know my cousin did so before that, and she has made notes on it, but still can't remember it. My grandmother is a very bright woman (was an academic) and is still able to have challenging intellectual conversations, though next day she may have the same conversation again. It's not lack of capacity or inability to reason, it's memory loss. Left alone she spends a lot of time obsessively looking through her diary to find out what's happening that day. She also tells stories about past events (from her childhood to a few years ago) which I don't think are true (conflict with other people's stories, or I was there and know they are not true). I'm not too bothered about this - it's her past and if she wants to rewrite it that's fine - but we are worried in particular about how to get her to take the drugs when no-one's around.

We have talked with her about the fact that she forgets them and she has accepted that she has short-term memory loss, but an hour later she will have forgotten that conversation. We want her to talk to the GP about it but this is very difficult as she constantly says there is not a problem. We have also discussed strategies like someone telephoning her or calling in at six each day to remind her, but because most of the time she doesn't remember that she forgets them she is unhappy about this - she has lived alone for 40 years and been very independent.

Has anyone any experience of talking to people about short-term memory loss and have suggestions about how we can get her to accept that, certainly at the moment, this is a serious problem?

Additionally, should memory problems be something that should stop her driving? She's not driving at the moment but is very keen to start again.

We are in the UK, if that makes any difference, and the rest of the family lives 300-600 miles away from her. Thanks to all.

Is there any way to reliably assess a person's age?

teem — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 05:09:03 -0800

Is there any way to reliably assess a person's age, and if so, to what precision? That is, with no details other than what can be gained from medical tests including autopsy, is it possible to tell how long a human subject has been alive for? (apparently DNA's out)

Can I Make (Age) Sharp Cheese In MY Fridge?

pwb503 — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 16:45:38 -0800

It seems that sticking cheese in the freezer would stop the ageing process, but what about keeping it in the fridge. Could I buy medium cheddar, and stick it in the fridge for a year before opening it? Anyone tried this, any mold or other problems with eating year old but unopened cheese?

Fair housing for elderly

puddinghead — Sun, 15 Jan 2006 17:38:23 -0800

Should I anticipate age-based housing discrimination on behalf of my mother? My 80 year old mother has applied to rent a townhouse in my neightborhood. All of the arangements were made through a realtor, and now the owner of the townhouse would like to meet her before making it final. Is this the way this is usually done? I do not see that age is protected in this case by Fair Housing or by the ADA (she sometimes uses a walker or a wheelchair). Any thoughts about this? Any questions that might be brought up that would be inappropriate that I should be alert to?

“Vanity dies hard; in some obstinate cases it outlives the man.”

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Dec 2005 18:40:21 -0800

I'm 22, female, and caucasian. I (try to) wear sunscreen every day. I use self tanner instead of tanning beds. What else do I need to be doing to keep myself looking young? I really want to fight ageing as much as possible. I want to look like I do now in my late thirties as much as possible.

What should I be doing everyday to prevent my skin from ageing? What creams and potions are best? Should I be taking anything orally?

How do I still look 22 in 20 years?

Scared of getting older...

speranza — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 09:48:50 -0800

I'm 21 and I'm afraid of getting old... I realise this sounds kind of ridiculous, but I have a huge fear of ageing. I know that part of it is to do with feeling like I haven't achieved enough, but it's more than that. I just feel old in a way that I didn't before I turned 21. I want to be able to look forward to the rest of my 20s, but I can't because looking forward means looking forward to being older and I just can't get comfortable with that. I don't want to be a grown-up yet.

How can I get over this silly anxiety? I'm going to be 22 in a few months and I want to be able to "start over" and be happy and contented and comfortable with myself, but I don't know how to do this. I've heard of the "quarter-life crisis" but I don't seem to quite fit that description.

Hair-raising

Anonymous — Wed, 27 Oct 2004 15:47:57 -0800

I turn 30 in two weeks. About two years ago, I went from only having to shave a couple of times a week, to shaving every day (or I look like a mountain man). I've also started growing great amounts of hair on my back (ick!), where there was none before.

Is this sudden burst of hormones (I almost want to call it "second puberty") normal for guys going through middle age? I'm just much harier than I was two years ago, and nothing else has changed.

Lifespans in History

crazy finger — Mon, 23 Aug 2004 16:11:20 -0800

Life span, longevity and history... (MI)

I had an argument the other day with my friend concerning longevity and life span through history. He claims that people of history would have been lucky to live to be old and that most people died in their 30's or 40's. He added that people were practically married at 15, had kids and worked hard and died young.

I disagreed with him. Practically all historical figures seem to have lived into old age and the stories I have read and heard from historical accounts makes it seem as though there were plenty of old people around. It's not like old men and women are a modern thing.

My thinking is that the numbers that are often cited, 35 year life expectency for example, are only so low because of the high frequency of infant death. Who's right? Can you please use links to back up your arguments? GOD DAMNIT! That's the second time I've screwed it up and posted the content of the "MI" on the front page of ASKME. I'm sorry Matt, other concerned parties. I'm a foul-up.