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Users that often use this tag:
Anonymous (34)
outoftime (2)
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Trying to live happily ever after, after an affair. But with a twist.

I love my boyfriend dearly and we have had a very strong exclusive relationship for over a year now. However, we started as an affair while he was married. I am still struggling with the guilt I have over this. Are there any resources out there for helping people deal with the aftermath of the affair when the couple is now the husband and the mistress and not the husband and wife? [more inside]
posted by Argyle Sock Puppet on Jan 9, 2014 - 45 answers

Forgiving a parent's infidelity

I'm unsure if and how to forgive my father for having an affair. I feel that being unable to get past this, is affecting me as a person and has complicated my relationship with my mother. I'd really like to hear from others who may have come to crossroads with forgiving a loved one, especially anyone who's dealt with a parent's infidelity. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2013 - 31 answers

How do I deal with my spouse having an external romantic relationship?

I found out my partner of 20 years/spouse of 11 was having an emotional/romantic affair with our best friend and lied to me about it. Now that we've gone through the initial reveal, I've told her I've forgiven her; she's hinting she's been thinking about romantic relationships outside of our marriage. tl;dr- Are we done here or can this be saved? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2013 - 49 answers

How do I stop being so paranoid in my relationship?

Damaged by a previous infidelity, I find it hard not to read every ordinary, innocent thing as a Sign. It's hurting an otherwise loving relationship with a wonderful woman, and I hate being this way and feel I am committing my own kind of betrayal. Looking for advice on strategies to stop, deflect, lessen. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2013 - 32 answers

What the hell did I just do?

I have asked a previous question about my situation and was really grateful for the advice. So last week I took it, and I told my SO that I thought we weren’t working and it would be better for both of us if we separated. So we did at the weekend. And now I don’t know if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life. Where do I go from here? Oh so many, many details below. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Sep 30, 2013 - 25 answers

I need to end it. Please help me find the words.

The short version of how I got here – love my husband but fell in love with someone else. It’s not fair to him but I just don’t know how to say what I need to say. (Much) longer version inside. [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Jun 10, 2013 - 53 answers

Respond to fb warning involving sister's alleged affair ?

How to respond to a facebook warning/possible threat concerning an alleged affair involving my sister? [more inside]
posted by Basque13 on Jun 2, 2013 - 26 answers

Quitting on ethical grounds, for selfish reasons

A coworker told me that our boss is sleeping with another coworker, his subordinate, our peer. This is the latest development in a dysfunctional workplace. I would like to quit on ethical grounds without implicating the friend that told me. Help, please. [more inside]
posted by sabatourist on Apr 30, 2013 - 42 answers

Do I leave, and if so what do I say?

Not an original story. I love my husband but I love someone else too. What do I do? Looooong explanation to follow, apologies. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 19, 2013 - 55 answers

Support/Help with divorce after 1 yr marriage (29 y.o.)

29 years old and divorcing after 1 year of marriage- looking for support/help with my decision. [more inside]
posted by love2much on Nov 14, 2012 - 34 answers

Eternally unhappy parents with a stagnant and unhealthy marriage--I am in the middle. How to deal?

Please help me deal with my parents ever-strained and unhappy marriage, my fathers refusal to seek marriage counseling, my mother's emotional affair, and my grandparents horrible influence. This has been happening forever--now that I'm 20, my parents are divulging more and more. It's too hard to deal with. Any suggestions welcome. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 31, 2012 - 24 answers

What to do with a sexless marriage?

Is sex vital in a marriage? Do I need a new perspective, a new conscience, counseling, or a divorce? (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2012 - 42 answers

I crossed marriage boundaries with co-worker -- now what?

My friendship with coworker evolved into something which is apparently neither "just friendship" neither ethical behaviour. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 1, 2012 - 12 answers

How to interact with the person my wife had an emotional affair with?

My wife has been having an emotional affair with another man, a married co-worker. Help me get what I want out of my first social interaction with him since the news broke. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 17, 2012 - 44 answers

Husband has a double life

My husband is making fetish videos of himself, and I'm not sure what to do about it (if anything) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2012 - 21 answers

Cyber Affair

I don't feel guilty, am I an jerk? [more inside]
posted by antigone on Jun 20, 2012 - 22 answers

I don't want sex with my husband. What should I do?

Four years ago I married a great guy. We've been together a total of eight years. Sometime around when we got married...maybe a little before, I stopped wanting sex with him. I dreaded it on our wedding night/honeymoon. At first I thought it was just a phase, something to do with wedding planning burnout and general nerves. Four years later, it's even worse than it was. Otherwise, we have a good relationship, I think. We have everything in common, a shared worldview, good communication. Because of the sexual issue, we have talked numerous times about separating. I guess what I can't figure out is, why this has happened, and if our entire relationship is worth ending over it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2012 - 80 answers

She's dating a guy who had an affair and is now divorced - can it work?

She's dating a guy who had an affair and is now divorced. Can it work? How? [more inside]
posted by paindemie on May 17, 2012 - 30 answers

How do I move on from this?

I suffer from depression and issues relating to low self esteem. In a moment of unbelievably horrible judgment and extreme selfishness I slept with my best friend's husband. She found out. I'm pretty sure I've lost her friendship forever and I have no idea how to deal with this crushing guilt and regret. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2012 - 35 answers

When is enough enough with an unmotivated person in a relationship?

I'd love to get some advice on my relationship. It's complicated and I'm starting to think about ending it, despite being pretty heavily invested. This is a "do I stay or do I go?" question or a "too good to leave but too bad to stay" question. But it's complicated so be prepared to read on. [more inside]
posted by runflats on Apr 6, 2012 - 50 answers

What to do when someone you love is lying to you?

What do you do when someone you love is lying to you? Details inside! Thanks for the advice:) [more inside]
posted by blubutterfly on Apr 4, 2012 - 39 answers

How to get over affair with a guy I don't even like but feel like I "loved" or at least obsessed over?

I had a workplace affair with a horrible guy. Has anyone had an affair with a "bad" guy who treated them poorly? How do I get over it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2012 - 62 answers

Hope for my ailing marriage?

After nearly 11 yrs of marriage my husband is talking of possibly finding his own place and at the very least separating for awhile to see if he can "get himself together". We have been a couple nearly 15 yrs. I am looking for experiences, resources, advice... [more inside]
posted by snuffyrat on Dec 27, 2011 - 21 answers

How to handle a cheating in-law?

My MIL is having an affair, is not being smart about it and I don't know how to be around her now. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 15, 2011 - 33 answers

If you're going through hell, keep going

How much to tell a potential new love about past infidelity [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 17, 2011 - 20 answers

Let people be used by a user?

What is the best course of action after ending an affair with someone at work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 24, 2011 - 31 answers

Ugly Divorce

How does an adult child deal with the divorce of their parents? [more inside]
posted by xopaigexo on Aug 11, 2011 - 16 answers

I am beyond repentance, I know.

Had a very brief but very intense extramarital affair after nearly ten years of marriage. Ended it this weekend and I feel absolutely miserable. How do I get over this? Bonus drama: the guy works at the same place as me so I will end up seeing him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2011 - 23 answers

Friend is a four-letter word

{Relationship Filter} So my husband of less than a year looked up an old friend last month. Said friend happens to be married, female and goregous. They hadn't spoken in more than 10 years. They've been e-mailing, and my husband says he has no ulterior motives. I'm not so sure. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 14, 2011 - 41 answers

Can we make this work?

I told myself I would never post a relationship question, but here goes: My boyfriend had, what amounts to in my mind, an emotional affair that's been going on for the past 6 months. I need help deciding if this is worth salvaging. There are, of course, lots of details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 29, 2010 - 43 answers

Do I have a moral obligation to help my ex get out of his affair?

Do I have a moral obligation to help my ex get out of his affair? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 23, 2010 - 18 answers

Cheated in a relationship, what to do next?

Looking for a way to deal with the bad feelings, both within me and coming from the ex, after a relationship ended. Problem: I am a massive tool and it was all my fault for cheating on her. How do I say sorry? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 22, 2010 - 30 answers

My mom Is Cheating On My Dad

How Am I Supposed To Feel About My Mom Cheating On My Dad? And Draining Family Money? (desperate for any help or advice) [more inside]
posted by xopaigexo on Apr 7, 2010 - 29 answers

Apologizing for a long-ago affair

10 years ago I slept with his girlfriend. Yesterday I ran into him. Do I apologize for what happened 10 years ago? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 6, 2010 - 30 answers

GuiltyConsciousFilter: Please help me fix what I have broken.

I made a terrible, terrible mistake. I betrayed the one I love the most. Please help me sort out the never-ending chess match for redemption in my head. Long explanation can be found inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 8, 2009 - 84 answers

How do you save a marriage after an affair?

My world is destroyed after an affair. I desperately need advice. Its a long story... Please help. [more inside]
posted by wantstobeadesigner on Nov 26, 2009 - 54 answers

I'm sure I'm being unreasonable, but...

What can I do to get along with my husband's family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 17, 2009 - 43 answers

Looking for a Kick-ass Marriage Counsellor

Help me save my family. I am looking for a really good marriage counsellor in Edmonton, AB. Complications inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2009 - 7 answers

Making an Indecent Proposal Halfway Decent

Best practices for proposing/having an affair? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2009 - 66 answers

How do I cope with bitterness and vengefulness toward my ex?

My husband of 17 years had an affair and left me for someone else. Three years later, I’m still feeling bitter and vengeful. Please help me cope. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2009 - 38 answers

We just want to sell flowers, not get in the middle of your marital dispute!

Privacy issues in the floral industry, also known as "How to stay out of customer's divorce cases".... [more inside]
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies on Jun 24, 2009 - 27 answers

Any tips for making a relationship out of an affair?

Any tips for making a relationship out of an affair? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 9, 2009 - 14 answers

I love you, but...

Does anyone know of any song that expresses the idea "I love you, but I'm not leaving my wife for you"? Either English or Spanish is fine.
posted by strosnider on Apr 14, 2009 - 37 answers

Trying to end the affair.

Follow up question. Trying to end the affair, but the other person is unwilling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 12, 2009 - 34 answers

My life is a blues song.

Brokenrelationshipfilter? Two weeks ago I found out that my girlfriend of a year had been seeing an acquaintance of my best friend for the past two months. They're over, and she told me, asking that we stay together. I'm not sure now if we're going to or not, but we agreed to six months more to see if we can make it work. I'm pissed, frankly, and she's suffering from horrible post-breakup depression; crying, insomnia, apathy, the works. I do, I believe, love her, but I'm having trouble seeing how we'll get through all the smoke in the air. I'm well aware that I'm the only one who can make this decision, but rationality isn't my strong point right now, and I could use some outside perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 22, 2008 - 61 answers

Should I have this affair?

Should I have this affair? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2007 - 115 answers

Keep trying or cut and run?

Chapter 3 - Finally left and now wondering why i am still getting treated like dirt! Any ideas....? [more inside]
posted by rainbow_2006 on Jun 18, 2007 - 48 answers

Should i wait for a married guy?

If you're in love with a married man, and he says he would leave his wife, would you stay? Whilst i love him very much, i am not sure if i should believe him as surely if he really was going to leave her he would have done this by now. Is it possible to love two people at the same time?
posted by rainbow_2006 on Aug 2, 2006 - 88 answers

Where I become a guest of Jerry Springer's

I need survial strategies to make it through establishing residency in order to file for divorce. Melodrama inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2006 - 18 answers

Talking about affairs

My friend's wife is having an affair. What are the prospects at this point for my friend? [more inside]
posted by zek on Jan 29, 2006 - 26 answers

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