Hi all, I have a former friend with mental health issues who is somewhat obsessed with me and has been increasingly creeper-ish over the past year. I just found out today that he now lives within 1.5 miles of me and I'm a bit freaked out. Would like to request input/advice re: next steps, partially because I'm not sure how concerned I should be. More after the cut. [more inside]
A male friend of mine has recently learned that he's not as good at dating women as he thought he was, and wants to get better. Where can I point him for sex and relationship advice, addressed to men, but written from a feminist perspective? [more inside]
I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 16 years old. I've complained about that here, there, everywhere. I truly want to change that, or at least go on meaningful, fun dates. You've critiqued my OKC profile (I thank you for this! It's improved the messages I've received.) Now I'd like you to tell me why no one will respond to me. [more inside]
About a week ago, I saw a very nicely designed site (parallax-y scrolling, a teal color scheme) where a (famous?) Web developer or engineer had collected her/his advice on giving good presentations, including thoughts on slides, handouts, timing, dealing with nerves, the q&a, etc. It was the perfect thing to send to people gearing up for a big talk, particularly in the tech field. It was recently launched, I think just in the last month -- I'd found it because someone on Twitter or Hacker News or somewhere had just linked to it. It was great and now I can't find it again. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? (Sadly almost all the salient keywords that I can think of for searching for this page are uselessly generic.) Thanks very much.
I am accompanying a friend to Kingston at the end of March for one week. The main purpose of the trip is to visit the U.S. Embassy for some paperwork. I have never been to Jamaica and wanted to get some pointers. Which guidebooks would you recommend? What areas should we visit? Which areas should we avoid? Could you recommend a place to stay? [more inside]
I'm very confused about my relationship at the moment and need to talk it through with someone. I don't want my family and friends to know at this stage as I don't think that's fair on my SO, and whilst normally I would talk to him about anything and everything I think I need an objective ear. Does anyone know of any resources to discuss emotional/relationship issues in the UK? Thanks.
This post has things that aren't helpful. What can you say to someone that is bullied or abused that does help the situation or bolster someone's self-confidence?
I get to go skiing for the first time ever. Yay! So excited! We'll be driving up to Squaw Valley Superbowl weekend and I have no idea what to expect. Specific questions inside, but all amounts of questions I don't even know to ask exist, so all advice on how to make my ski trip awesome welcome! [more inside]
My brain is swirling with options and I just need kind advice. I have no shoulder on which I may settle my weight for a moment's rest. I beg your listening ear!Should I sit tight and save or make a move to take pressure off my vehicle? It needs to last me a few years.... How can I escape the white trash wastes I have been condemned to? [more inside]
I recently did a Google search for an old college friend of mine that I haven't seen since his wedding a couple of years ago. I found a link to a baby registry with his and his wife's name on it, and the due date was listed as a week ago. I really want to call him up and congratulate him, but there's something a little weird about it: The registry has a ton of stuff on it, but almost nothing has been purchased: Just a few stuffed animals. This makes me worry that maybe they lost the baby and they just never took down the registry. [more inside]
I have a bit of discretionary money (1k). Rather than just letting it sit in a bank account earning basically no interest, I am opting to dip my toes in to the world of stocks, options, investing, etc. Other than buying shares in a company I am already aware of and think is going to do well in the future (which isn't always that simple, I know), how do people independently (ie. not via a broker) research and learn about other stocks and worthy investments? [more inside]
How can I best fill two hours in order to help young adults? [more inside]
Therapist in training. Finally got my first clients. This is my calling and I want to be damn good at it. Naturally, I turn to AskMe. [more inside]
I get regular massages from my local massage-in-a-box store. I want to know what kind of things NOT to do so that I am not an annoying client. I'd also like to know how to best ask for certain treatments so they get done properly. [more inside]
I'm recently back from a long trip through South America, but my travel lust is hardly satiated. I have some savings left, and I'm desperate to take off again. Is this a good idea? And if so, where should I go next? Details inside. [more inside]
My son 23 and single is moving the Charleston SCfor his first real post college job. What advice would you give him for finding an apartment on a modest income and living in what looks like to be a very cool city? Thanks.
I'm a 31 year old single father who currently has something of a dead-end job after giving a sales career a shot (I was terrible). I have a BA in History from Ohio State with a graduating GPA of 2.42 (it's fun working full time, going to school full time and raising a kid full time!). I want to go back to school, but don't know where to start. [more inside]
Nothing helps me fall asleep at night like a well-written advice column. My current favorites are Dear Prudence, She Said, She Said, and The Gentleman Scholar. Who else might I like? [more inside]
My eight year old laptop is about ready to bite the dust. For the last year and a half it has had permanent residence on my desk as it cannot function if it is not plugged in. The screen must be at the correct angle or it completely cuts out. It struggles to download documents and music. She has been good to me, but it is time to begin thinking about purchasing a new computer. Problem is, I’m fairly out of touch with the market now. Here are my needs with regards to a laptop. You tell me what I should be looking for. [more inside]
I'm caring for my sick and declining wife, but my own anger issues have made me a terrible caregiver at times, let alone partner. We both love each other deeply, and want to spend our final years together, but if I can't stop making her miserable I have to go. I'm already pursuing therapy, have a psychiatrist, etc. I am not ashamed to seek help; the stakes are so high. I will be devastated if I have to walk away because I am a toxic presence, and so I'm determined to address my problems and be the husband she needs. I'm seeking ideas and advice on how to eliminate the bad so we can enjoy the good. More below... [more inside]
I'd like to convey as much wisdom/advice as possible to my kids before they become feral teenagers drenched in Axe and scorn. Please share the best lists/essays/articles you've ever seen on the theme of "Teaching Your Kids About ______". [more inside]
I recently switched to part time at work and moved back in with my parents so that I could attend grad school full time and I'm beginning to think that I made a horrible mistake. Would it be a terrible idea to leave school and try to figure out another direction? (details inside) [more inside]
Hi, I'm an Australian living in Asia temporarily. I've been looking for financial advice for my needs for a while, most of my cash is in a bank account in Australia and I figure I could do more with it than just have it sitting in a bank earning 3.5% interest (say for example around $30k ior so in the bank). [more inside]
Last October, I started a charity that since April I have won some good grants, grown over the last three months from 10 to 54 clients. Well enough, I am happy to continue working on it as a volunteer and board member. But, it doesn't need full-time employees. I have got some consulting work beginning in November. I would like to find a full-time job. Explaining "I did this, it is going well, now I need some money" is difficult. I am trying to find a non-profit or NGO career consultant in England or the EU to help sort this all out. Can you help?
Hello, Metafilter! Long time lurker (10 years), first time poster. To sum it up- after a failed stint as an AmeriCorps VISTA (6 months) following graduation from the University of South Carolina with a degree in International Studies and a minor in Economics- I have spent a year unemployed, a year as a bank teller, another year unemployed, and over a year as a server and a tax season as a tax pro at H&R block. I went back to school during the time as a server to get enough credits to sit for the CPA (one computer apps class away from obtaining accounting certificate at a local community college). Moved back to SC and spent from 07/12-06/13 as an Assistant Service Manager at a car dealership (hated it because A, I have asthma and missed a ton of work due to complications from working outside, B, I knew nothing about cars, and C, I am not a fan of Customer Service/commission pay). [more inside]
My dad paid for 200k worth of schooling for me, i got a BA in Economics from a good school, went on to do some independent film production, quit my job with my boss 6 months ago, finally saw the last film I helped produce premiere at TIFF, and I've been re-evaluating what I want to do with my life. (Currently 24.5 years old.) I want to join the Army and become a Ranger, like my uncle (who my dad despises) but I don't know how to go about telling my dad. [more inside]
I am fairly sure that the terms of my life insurance policy were unfairly changed during a merger. The policy was issued in NY, and I need help understanding what my rights are and what type of policy was substituted for the one I purchased. Does anyone know of a nonprofit, legal clinic, or other organization that can help me interpret and advise me on how to proceed with a dispute with a life insurance company? I have already contacted the State Department of Financial Services and they were not helpful. [more inside]
An old friend contacted me asking if I would be interested in financial advice from his sibling, who has recently started in the profession. I suspect that this sibling is a commission-based advisor earning money from a high-MER mutual fund provider through kickbacks. Should I confirm that and warn the friend, or let it be? [more inside]
My wife is from a large urban area and is missing that lifestyle. I am a hayseed. I have visited cities and enjoyed them, and enjoy urbanism as a field of interest and study... But what are some resources for this transition? Blogs, books, articles, I'm open to anything.
I am looking for some career advice regarding search techniques and information about non-traditional legal jobs that I may be overlooking. I am interested in international law, environmental law, administrative law, and trade and investment law. I have work experience in international law and have also lived and studied abroad. Prior to law school I worked in finance for four years (my undergraduate degree is in international finance), I am located in the Northeast, and I am awaiting results from the bar exam which I took this past July. [more inside]
An friend just got booted out of her home in Florida with an hour's notice by her boyfriend. She has no money, important possessions from small to large in the house, and pets. I advised her to call the police but beyond that I had no idea. Later I found the Florida Coalition Against Domestic Violence, and sent her the hotline number. But there must exist checklists or articles for this sort of situation, seeing as it happens so often in abusive relationships! [more inside]
How can I make life easier for a long distance friend who is expecting triplets? [more inside]
I married my wife this spring, and we're ready to get out of an apartment and into a house or townhouse. We're going to talk to some mortgage broker she found online today, and I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do. I've printed out all the forms they've asked for, but I have no clue what questions I should be asking. Our communications with the guy we're seeing have been great and he seems helpful, but I'd love to hear your mortgage advice/stories. Also, if any Houstonians have specific recommendations I'd love to hear them as well. [more inside]
I'm searching for a therapist to help me deal with ongoing anxiety and insecurity issues. I came across someone who looks promising and practices ISTDP, which I had never heard of before. I did some googling and it looks legit, but wondered if any of you have any experience with this? thanks!
I have a birthday coming up soon (28 - which for some reason feels like a milestone to me) and have been spending some time thinking about some of the small epiphanies I've had in the last few years that have made my life infinitely better. Such as - it's ok to let go of friends who no longer bring anything positive into your life; you are not responsible for your mothers happiness; and it's OK if the person you are seriously dating and thinking about settling down with is very different from the person that you thought you'd be with. In fact, it might be a very good thing. All of this thinking has made me realize that 1) if I had known this a few years earlier I might have avoided some serious heartache and anxiety attacks and 2) that there are probably plenty more epiphanies that I haven't had yet. So, I'm asking you all wise and all knowing MeFiers - what is a life changing realization you wish you'd had sooner?
What are some options for a bright young man who wants to delay college? It can be volunteer-based, overseas, career ideas, special programs, alternate ideas of how to approach higher learning...anything. The main thing he wants is real-world experience outside of a classroom, something that will help him grow as a person and help him learn what he wants out of life. [more inside]
The new hire is making more than someone who has been there for years and is still doing most of the work. What should I tell my coworker so that she can negotiate a fair salary? [more inside]
I'm starting a new job as of next week in the Ville and my lease will be up in my current apartment as of the end of August. Need advice on where to look for houses for rent and also what there is to do -- specifically good bookstores, museums, movie theaters, other wacky stuff, etc. [more inside]
I haven't seen my wife in almost two years. We decided to separate in late 2011 after 5 years of marriage. It was totally amicable, we got married too young, etc etc. For many reasons, neither of us pursued a legal divorce. Largely it was a matter of cost- She's a PhD student, I'm a Grad student, neither of us had the $325 filing fee. We fell out of touch and it kind of kicked around the back of my head. This year, taxes rolled around and we realized that we needed to pursue the legal divorce. And then we sat on it some more until I finally got one of those DIY Divorce Books. So, great, I got all the forms from the state, filled them out, scraped together the filing fee and then froze. [more inside]
This is a sockpuppet because my main account has my real name. So this guy is part of a group of friends. I will continue to see him everywhere. This is not a huge town. We kinda hooked up a few months ago and he asked me out on a formal date and I got caught up in the grand gestures of flowers and chivalry and texting me sweet things (which if you look at my other posts about my last boyfriend, you can probably see why I fell for it all.) [more inside]
This one might be a doozy. So, I'm a 23 year old recent college grad ( this May) with a B.A. in psychology and no idea what to do with my life. ( Original, I know, but bear with me, it gets better.) Everyone around me seems to have what are at least well-outlined 5 year plans, oriented around either grad school or a great entry level job. Certain circumstances in my life though seem to leave me with a vision of the future that doesn't extend far beyond the living room couch and daytime TV for the next 10 years and that frightens me to no end. [more inside]
Not the happiest circumstances to bring a new child into this world. After years of supporting her husband, financially and emotionally, she's reached her limit. He's dealing with some addiction issues, and has become increasingly hostile with the birth of this baby. Maybe they'll work this out one day, but right now she doesn't feel safe, has filled her car with personal belongings and is staying with family. She left him a lengthy note, but does not want to talk to him in the next few days. This has been a long time coming, and while I don't imagine it will be a surprise—his family has actually encouraged her to do this—he won't react well. What sort of legal precautions should she begin taking? [more inside]
Not always attracted to Fiance. May break up, need some advice! [more inside]
Seeking advice for a two-week France adventure [more inside]
I wasn't selected for military officer training school. Help me design my Plan B/In the Meantime career while I apply again. [more inside]
As a mainly "used game" player, should I buy a PS3 now or wait for a PS4 and have to pay Sony's prices for back-compat streaming. Complicating factor: The Last of Us has released. [more inside]
I'm writing a letter to a wonderful graduate of the (high school) Class of 2013 on the occasion of her jumping off into that great abyss of adulthood. I'm hoping to include wisdom from random people on the internet (that would be you) about what you would tell your self if you could go back to the day that you graduated from high school so that I can include it in my letter. Travel back in that time machine, go to that shining day of your graduation and tell me what you would tell yourself, no matter how funny, sad, bizarre, etc.
This happens to me far too often when I've dated men, I hear the 'I like you as a friend' after a handful of dates far too often. Is there something I could be doing wrong? [more inside]
Fiancee admitted she took a crush too far. Again. Help us get past this. [more inside]
What general purpose signal wire connectors do you guys use? [more inside]