I'm a graduate student who has been dating a classmate for about a year and a half. She a nice girl for the most part and a mother. I should explain that she got pregnant at an early age (19) from an older man (about twice her age) and still managed to do well academically. While I realize that she is very well put together academically, emotionally she is not as mature a person as I would ideally like to be with. I recently broke up with her (or at least I thought I did), but ended up right back in her arms consoling her and attempting to stem the apparent emotional devastation this break up was causing. I have been clear about my issues and honest to no avail. What do I do to get out of this relationship? We live in the same building and function in the same atmosphere. I can live with her hating me. During the (mock) break-up she told me I was the best thing that ever happened to her and she can't let me go. I am only her second boyfriend (the first being the father of her child) and third person she's ever had sex with. She has a history of clinging. I imagine a lot of people would say sever this cold turkey, but theres no such thing for someone who clings so tightly and does not appear to have the emotional coping skills to deal with rejection. I am afraid of her hurting herself, the kid, me and so on. She has absolutely no friends outside of her sister who is a year younger, while I have many. She doesn't appear to be able to connect with anyone other than her sig. other (me) and her sister. She hates her mother, doesn't know her father that well and says she is unable to bond with her child (quote, " I don't really feel attached to the child"). This leaves me alone on an emotional island of sorts. Maybe we all need therapy. I have taken the issue of birth control into my own hands, as I am afraid if left to her we might 'accidentally' end up in babyland. A bad situation for all. Any ideas, I'm open.
posted by nmorgan
on Jul 7, 2005 -