934 posts tagged with advice.
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She's leaving home after living alone for so many years

I'm a 23 year old trans woman who lives with my religious parents, deeply closeted. I need to move out as soon as I can, and I think I'm figuring all that stuff out okay... I just don't know how to get myself to actually do it. And I don't know how to approach my parents about any of this. I know I am going to hurt them and I know they've given me no choice, but I'm still feeling a lot of guilt over it. Convince me I'm doing the right thing :/ [more inside]
posted by Flower Grower on Aug 21, 2016 - 30 answers

Difficult dilemma - pursue MBA or apply for well paid permanent job?....

I'm fast approaching 36 this year and have had a varied career. You could same i'm a jack of all trades but master of none, what with undertaking lots of roles and completing a business degree at 33. For the past couple of years, the job market has been tough. I've undertaken a couple of 6-9 month job contracts as a temp, whilst also experiencing a length period of unemployment. I loved the experience academia brought and I excelled during this journey, developing some great skills. I've just been accepted to do the MBA part time and have been in my current contract 15 months. It is due to come to an end in October but there's a chance of a permanent job coming up that is very well paid. [more inside]
posted by emma33UK on Aug 8, 2016 - 15 answers

3 days in Kiev and 3 in Chernobyl - any suggestions?

We'll be visiting Kiev and Chernobyl (here with a guided tour) the next week. Already bought Lonely Planet and will check Atlas Obscura, Tripadvisor. But I'm a bit sceptical with travel advice coming from these sources - I'd rather have a mefite telling me what to do and what to avoid. [more inside]
posted by kmt on Aug 7, 2016 - 1 answer

Talked to Financial Counselor. He told me to stop paying my loans. Wha??

My debt situation is in the $117,000 range. I'm 25. I make $2,000 a month. I missed payments for the first time last month. Called a financial counselor for possible help. He told me to stop paying my student loan bills. Is that really a good idea? This sounds awful... Also - Any financial advice would be MEGA helpful. [more inside]
posted by Deeleybopper on Aug 2, 2016 - 23 answers

Where to go for advice about life issues?

If you don't have any close friends or trusted relatives in whom you can confide, where can you find a sounding board for problems you're facing? [more inside]
posted by akk2014 on Jul 18, 2016 - 21 answers

Go West Young One (and even younger one)

Looking for some advice on where to go for a family vacation in Colorado. [more inside]
posted by limagringo on Jul 12, 2016 - 4 answers

To Boldly Go Where Many Have Gone Before!

I want a real career. After a decade of professional frittering, I'm finally coming into my own — I have deep focus and a desire to invest heavily in my future. What should I make of myself? [more inside]
posted by fritillary on Jul 7, 2016 - 11 answers

Friend fraud: To reach out, or let it be?

A friend from long ago has been accused of business fraud. I am struggling to process this information, and am conflicted about reaching out. Please help me outline a way forward. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Looking for amusing advice podcasts

I'm looking for podcasts where the host and/or guests take listener calls or letters and answer them, but in a funny way. [more inside]
posted by reenum on Jun 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Going to Cuba. Help me avoid landing in a jail cell.

Ok, that was a little dramatic. But seriously, This is my first time on the "sunny island for shady people" so I'm soliciting the wisdom of Metafiler to help me make the most of it. [more inside]
posted by lecorbeau on Jun 9, 2016 - 10 answers

I got a new job without a raise but I'm happy and don't care, should I?

Last week I got promoted to a new job. . . it was the job I want, and it's much more interesting than my previous job, and honestly I've wanted this job for about a year. [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jun 6, 2016 - 9 answers

Signs that questions here or on advice-giving subreddits are fake?

I know that sometimes people send fake questions to advice columnists or post fake questions here or on relevant subreddits, but I've never suspected that any given question is fake. I think some of you are good are spotting potential fakes. What things tip you off that a given question is fake?
posted by Alluring Mouthbreather on May 8, 2016 - 15 answers

Marital Counselors In or Within Driving Distance of Steuben County, IN?

I am looking for recommendations for marital counseling therapists in the Steuben County, Indiana area, or in towns within a reasonable drive from there (Elkhart, Coldwater, etc.). Experience with senior citizen couples a plus. Sliding scale also a plus. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2016 - 1 answer

Need to freshen up these skills

There is an online job I'd really like to apply for. It's customer support for a company that provides user experience information for a business's website. I think I'd be good at it except for one requirement. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2016 - 3 answers

Desperately need work to live & leave abuser. How to get regular notice?

Are there any good guides to approaching NYC employment agencies and consistently securing work? I need a job so I can leave my abusive partner, keep my tiny apartment, and see a therapist. I need stability. I’m a dedicated, bright, friendly, curious, and solid worker. I just don’t know how to make myself stand out or get a consistent response from either cold applications or agencies. Turning to MeFi again for guidance. [more inside]
posted by Fire on Apr 17, 2016 - 15 answers

How do you know when your marriage over?

Wife and I have been having been in couples counseling for past 5 months for issues that started 2-3 years prior. How do you know when you should stop putting effort into saving the marriage? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2016 - 42 answers

Should I Stick With My Current Company, or Leave for a New One?

I've come to realize the people I work for are fake and opportunistic to the point I've been looking quietly for a job. Then they offered me a substantial promotion. Do I take it and tolerate them until I can go elsewhere? Or do I quit now and move laterally on to something else? [more inside]
posted by priskyprisky on Apr 4, 2016 - 13 answers

Bali newbie seeks your best do and don't recommendations and hot tips

Travelling to Bali soon for the first time (2 adults, 2 kids under 10). We're staying in Sanur. What are your top tips please? This could be for places to visit or things to see but could also be around important things to consider regarding health, safety, money exchange, general dos and don'ts etc. I'm sure there are lots of seasoned Bali visitors on the site who've got lots of experience to share, some having learned the hard way. Please pass on your wisdom!
posted by ozem on Apr 2, 2016 - 8 answers

Six year old with Type 1 diabetes

My niece was just diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes so her life will change a bit; I'm looking for resources to help her family manage. [more inside]
posted by caphector on Mar 29, 2016 - 5 answers

How to run pain free

Since 2013, when I had hip arthroscopy, anytime I run I get a calf cramp. This is is either temporary that basically stops when Im done running, to basically a calf strain that will last weeks. I love doing triathlons and can overtrain the swimming and cycling to build endurance and such, but I'd love to be able to run pain free again. [more inside]
posted by bigbadbehr on Mar 25, 2016 - 6 answers

Attach of the quarter life crisis

I'm 28 and feel completely lost. I have a bachelor's and postgraduate degree in Information Technology and work in the IT sector. I feel out of place at my job and on the path towards mediocrity. How do I break out of this and find a path towards success? [more inside]
posted by deeba on Mar 24, 2016 - 8 answers

Resources and support for partners of people with depression

What help is out there for people who are partners to people with depression? [more inside]
posted by Cozybee on Mar 21, 2016 - 7 answers

Please don't make me start at entry level

I'm 25 years old and about to graduate with a MS in engineering. I am faced with the prospect of continuing my own venture or starting somewhere in industry. My venture is challenging and fulfilling, but not very promising, whereas the prospect of starting an entry level position makes me depressed and unmotivated. How can I find something to do where I will have ownership and opportunities for growth? [more inside]
posted by AFittingTitle on Mar 19, 2016 - 22 answers

Chronic pain, unsympathetic job, still need to work. What can be done?

Asking for a friend filter: Friend is in their 20s. Just got halfway decent health insurance. Working at a retail store since summer of last year, job involves a lot of physical labor along with sales desk. They've been commended for good work a few times and have been told they've been doing well enough to be a keyholder soon, which would involve more hours and a raise, Recently got a merit raise. They've had chronic pain for a while, and circumstances are... [more inside]
posted by ShawnStruck on Mar 16, 2016 - 7 answers

Site lost google search rankings after moving hosts and relaunching

This site is for a very small niche manufacturing company, so not a lot of competition. Switched hosting from a small private compnay to Siteground and relaunched fresh new updated version of the old site. Previous to the switch - all relevant keyword searches returned this website within the top 5-10. Google image searches resulted in tons of images for this site. Now nothing is returned with any of the searches. At all. Installed SEO plugin, followed all suggestions found on the internet, nothing has helped. Please - any advice is greatly appreciated!
posted by slowtree on Mar 15, 2016 - 5 answers

How can I be better at photos?

I'm in an Instagram battle for most awesome posts with one of my friends. I would like to know how to figure out what he might be doing to his photos to make them so awesome? Due to the obviously competitive nature of our competion, he isn't going to tell me. [more inside]
posted by jitterbug perfume on Mar 14, 2016 - 13 answers

What should my new fashion blog jam be?

So I finally have had to concede that What Would A Nerd Wear, my long-time style bible, is long gone and never coming back. Is anyone else on the great wide internet doing something similar for the modren era? If you, too, are a nerd who is trying to learn how to dress yourself, what are your go-tos? [more inside]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese on Mar 10, 2016 - 8 answers

Should I wait for the 4th gen lenovo x1 carbon, or buy now?

I'm thinking of buying a Lenovo X1 Carbon. I think these are the last days of the 3rd-gen X1 Carbon, with the 4th-gen ones coming out pretty soon. Is there a reason to wait for the 4th gen x1 carbon before ordering? [more inside]
posted by ManInSuit on Mar 5, 2016 - 2 answers

Step by step self-reliance

The past year I've been in a stressful situation and now I found that I may have been overly reliant on a friend for advice/help. Lately I realized this a imbalanced relationship and I'm looking for steps set boundaries and prevent this in the future. [more inside]
posted by chrono_rabbit on Mar 2, 2016 - 4 answers

Practical advice for turning 30

I'm turning 30 in about two weeks. I feel pretty accomplished, but at the same time I feel like I've missed out on a lot of things. Any thoughts you can share that you wish you knew/had learned by the time you reached this age? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2016 - 12 answers

recommended reading list for a wealthy teen

My recently deceased brother provided life insurance for my 17 year old niece, but neglected to set up a trust, so she will be in charge of the 6 figure insurance money next year when she turns 18. She is a good kid but we are concerned her limited experience could lead her to make some decisions she might later regret. She is a gifted writer and I am considering challenging her to accept my commission to conduct interviews with a number of adults about the events and decisions which most shaped their lives, write up her analysis of their stories and develop her plan for what to do with her life. It occurs to me that this project might benefit from a research phase and I would like suggestions for a recommended reading list for someone who is going to be in a position to make their own dreams come true. I am not looking for tax free municipal bond investment strategies. I am looking for advice on making life choices. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
posted by grahahw on Feb 8, 2016 - 40 answers

Parents: what do you wish you knew in the first two weeks post-partum?

Approaching 37 weeks, and all the anxieties of new-mommyhood abound. I've read extensively, bought all the recommended recovery/ nursing/ baby comforting paraphernalia I think would be useful... and I'm still acutely aware that this is our first go-round and my husband and I have ZERO idea what to expect (other than sleep deprivation, a sense of despair, and unpredictability). [more inside]
posted by Everydayville on Jan 27, 2016 - 87 answers

Adressing emotional infidelity

I've been dating Laura exclusively for 6 months. She was recently vacationing at a resort without me, and I have found out that she spent a lot of time getting to know another guy in a pretty intense/intimate way. I don't believe she slept with him but I can't be sure. She has not talked to me about this herself, normally we share practically everything and have discussed the issue of exclusivity/jealousy in the past. She's omitting it in my case but has talked about it to others and this is how I found out. Now I can't shake feelings of hurt and betrayal and I'm not sure what to do with them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 1, 2016 - 40 answers

How do we improve our intellectual connection?

I’m dating a man who is my kindred spirit in many ways. However, we have been dating for a year now, and I have felt over most of this time a sense of yearning for challenging conversation that I just don’t get with him. How have you seen people develop their critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and complex verbal expression abilities as adults? Conversely, if you have found happiness being with someone with whom you don’t have an intellectual connection, how have you managed around this on an everyday basis? [more inside]
posted by forasong on Nov 23, 2015 - 88 answers

Newly single, no career, self-esteem shattered; where do I go from here?

So, I feel like I am losing all grip on reality. I feel aimless, horrible…and confused. (continued below) [more inside]
posted by seeyouinberlin on Nov 16, 2015 - 22 answers

How do you respond to "ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?!"

I have a coworker that I report to, and they constantly ask, "ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?!" But then they seem to want a literal answer and I have no good response. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 30, 2015 - 87 answers

I need to stop being abusive

I was in therapy, but then we moved to a developing country a few months ago where therapies are not the done thing. I was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive before therapy. After a lot of work, I am a lot less abusive, but I've found that I still engage in controlling behavior. For the sake of my mental health and my relationship I want to stop completely, but don't know how to without professional help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2015 - 16 answers

What are better jobs in Computer Software/IT for someone with ADD?

What are better jobs in Computer Software/IT for someone with ADD? [more inside]
posted by pack2themoon on Oct 22, 2015 - 3 answers

Cozy (but dark) relationships/life advice podcasts?

Yes, the title is strange, I know, but I will explain: I'm looking for podcasts in which the host is either reading people's letters to them, or taking people's calls, giving advice. The host could either be just a layperson or a psychologist/sociologist/etc. Full explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by denika on Oct 21, 2015 - 7 answers

I am sick of making labels. Please hope me.

How do I transition from "pink collar" admin jobs to...anything else? Wrinkle: most likely moving to a (much) smaller city some time next year. [more inside]
posted by SassHat on Oct 15, 2015 - 6 answers

Bipolar: When to tell a date

I met a wonderful man who is smitten with me, and I with him. We have been talking on the phone for two weeks (we met online), and have had four fabulous, fun dates. He expresses that he really likes me. He is 37 and I am 30. He has been married before, and I asked him why they got divorced, and he explained to me that she developed bipolar disorder I with schizophrenic tendencies about 3 years into their marriage, and she could not get stabilized. She had multiple trips to the psych ward while he was in med school, and it was really hard on him. He was studying to be an anesthesiologist and the final straw was when his wife called his residency hospital and told them he was poisoning her with intravenous drugs. Well, that would all be fine and good, except...I have bipolar II. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Oct 5, 2015 - 24 answers

Good Online Career Counseling

Since graduating college, I've wandered from job to job. I taught kindergarteners English in China, then I got an EMT certification and worked on and led Americrops chainsaw crews, and now I'm in the Peace Corps, at a health center in Rwanda. When I'm done, I think I'll be ready to go back to school (if necessary) and move towards something that could be a more permanent career, but I don't know what that would be. I'd like to talk over that decision with someone qualified, online. [more inside]
posted by Rinku on Oct 3, 2015 - 5 answers

Tell me what it's like to live with a minivan.

I don't have time to go out on test-drives right now, but I'm stuck on the idea of owning a minivan - tell me what it's like if you own one. [more inside]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome on Oct 2, 2015 - 29 answers

How do I figure out what job/career I fit into?

I've been applying and interviewing a bit, but most applications get no response, which I know is common enough, but maybe I could be going about this better. I am in dire need of guidance at this point as to what sort of other jobs or fields I might fit into and be happy with. (Long) details inside. [more inside]
posted by Fire on Oct 2, 2015 - 9 answers

Need help with adapter selection - Nikon/Pentax!

My Pentax K10D has finally become all but unusable, and a friend is giving me her Nikon D90 (body only). I have several lenses for my Pentax, and I'm looking for a good adapter. [more inside]
posted by ScarletLark on Sep 25, 2015 - 6 answers

Setting myself up for the Future

Tips for looking out for my future self [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Sep 15, 2015 - 17 answers

Non-Hormonal Birth Control Options

I do not want to take synthetic hormones, have any of you had success with barrier methods like diaphragms and condoms that don't irritate sensitive skin? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 5, 2015 - 27 answers

Help me find retirement therapists/counselors

An elderly relative of mine is retiring within the next few years. Help me find a therapist/counselor to help them through this transition. [more inside]
posted by Ndwright on Sep 2, 2015 - 6 answers

Finally pulled the plug on relationship, feeling confused.

I finally pulled the plug on my relationship after I realized I had been unhappy for most of it. My boyfriend was surprisingly understanding and respectful about it. I have a flight in a week, but I find myself often wondering if I’ve done the right thing. I’m worried I might back out of leaving and I need help. Our history and wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Aug 24, 2015 - 20 answers

What would you say to female freshman engineering students?

I am a young female engineering professor who was invited to speak to incoming freshman engineering girls at my uni. I am flattered and want to inspire and motivate these young students. I need suggestions on what to focus on. I thought it would be easy because there is so much advice I can give but when I sit down it seems too disconnected and jumbled. more info inside [more inside]
posted by dublin on Aug 19, 2015 - 38 answers

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