HomewreakerFilter: A neighbor of mine has a cat door that allows her two cats unrestricted access to the outdoor world. Unfortunately, these cats don't get along, so the smaller cat can often be found hiding somewhere in the neighborhood trying to avoid the larger, bullying cat.

Over the past two years, the sweet, smaller cat has developed a special relationship with my partner and I. What started as infrequent visits and little pats has turned into the cat staying at our place for a minimum 20 hours a day, only returning to his rightful owner when we leave the house (banishing the cat to the outdoors) for several hours at a time. The owner knows that her cat practically lives with us and has never come over to retrieve the cat.

Recently, the cat became ill and needed medical attention. I notified the owner and offered to take the cat to the vet or to assist in any way I could. She refused my offer and took the cat herself. The next day, the cat was back on our couch, happy to be "home".

Both my partner and I are madly in love with the cat, and the cat seems to be madly in love with us. We're moving in a couple of months and the idea of having to leave the cat behind makes my heart break. Should we approach the neighbor and try to get her to give the cat to us? Should we steal the cat? Should we be adults and realize the cat belongs to someone else?
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2004 - 17 answers