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Advice for an adoptee

How do I find my birth parents? [more inside]
posted by mokin on Feb 6, 2014 - 14 answers

 

Can you sell a baby in the US?

Researching for a story filter: Is there one federal US law that forbids selling babies/children? If so, can you point me to the law itself? Bonus points for information about which year this passed and what opposition the legislation faced. My story would concern a baby born in the 1950s, most likely. [more inside]
posted by mrfuga0 on Feb 5, 2014 - 6 answers

Help me legally and ethically adopt my dog from a crazy LA rescue org.

When we brought home a new pup from a local rescue organization three months ago, we had no idea we were getting involved with a Crazy Lady. The adoption STILL isn't finalized and we really want to make it official and never deal with them again. Help me understand if their requests are reasonable and officially adopt my dog! [more inside]
posted by samthemander on Jan 22, 2014 - 43 answers

Wedding gift for the adult sister I'm just getting to know

At age 43, I found my birth family. (Original post. MeTa.) In addition to my birth mother and many other relatives, I've gained an adult sister. I'm now 44 and she's 29. We're slowly getting to know each other. My birth mother informed me the day we met last June that I'd be going to my sister's (up until then her only daughter, as far as the world knew) wedding in Key West in March. I was so thrilled by the whirlwind of everything, and I wanted to keep the hoopla surrounding my integration into the family as minimally disruptive to her planning the big event, that I've kind of forgotten something important until now: What on earth should I get her as a wedding present? [more inside]
posted by ImproviseOrDie on Jan 17, 2014 - 28 answers

Evaluating a kid for possible attention, sensory, & motor issues

My son's teacher, my spouse, and I have concerns about a few different, but possibly related, issues with my 9 year old son. What kind of place should we bring him to for an evaluation? I'm looking for suggestions either about general kinds of places you might bring a kid to get an evaluation or for specific places in Portland, Oregon. Any other input on these individual issues, including how they might be related, is welcome as well. [more inside]
posted by bluedaisy on Dec 27, 2013 - 15 answers

Introducing a new foster dog

Due to an emergency rescue, my plans for introducing a new foster dog have been pushed up significantly to tonight. There is one problem, I'm the only one around tonight and by the time, I pick her up - it will be super dark so introducing dogs in a neutral location is out. Help me make this as smooth as possible. [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Dec 18, 2013 - 8 answers

I want to be heroic but not, you know, in an inconvenient way.

I recently lost my cat, and I would like to go to the local humane society to adopt another one. I would like to find a balance between selecting a cat that would both best fit the requirements of our household and one that would probably a lower chance of being adopted. Can you help me identify traits to look for? [more inside]
posted by bibliowench on Nov 24, 2013 - 17 answers

Preparing my house for a new adopted shelter dog

What can I do to make my home "dog-proof" for the new 18-month-old dog I'm getting from a shelter? And what can I do to ease the trauma for him of moving to a completely new home? [more inside]
posted by madman on Nov 13, 2013 - 11 answers

Should I adopt this kitty? Not sure this is the right one...

Sorry for a kitty adoption question, but I need the power of the hivemind. I'm trying to decide if I should adopt this particular cat, or look for another one! Need to make a choice quick - snowflake issues beneath the fold. [more inside]
posted by jrochest on Oct 18, 2013 - 13 answers

playing the field, doggy edition

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a dog. Based on online profiles and email conversations with foster families, we've got it narrowed down to two pups that have been fostered through two local rescue groups. Now we are scheduling in-person meetings with the dogs and "home visits" where they send a volunteer to make sure our house is ok for a dog. Should we be telling each group that we are deciding between two dogs, which we're meeting on Thursday and Friday? [more inside]
posted by vytae on Oct 9, 2013 - 10 answers

I'm the jerk who adopted cats and now cannot keep them..suggestions?

I adopted two stray kittens just under a year ago. I am mildly allergic and planned to keep them temporarily, but grew quite attached. I am constantly on the road for work take them around from hotel to hotel with me, which is not ideal. On top of that, my permanent living situation is changing and I will be living with someone with severe cat allergies. I need to find a home for these two as soon as possible. I have exhausted my possible friends and family options. I really would like them to be able to stay together, as they are quite good buddies. I don't like the idea of giving them to a shelter, though I am beginning to see it may be the only option here. If it's useful, I am going back and fourth between Scranton, PA and Pittsburgh, PA right now, in case anyone has suggestions that are location specific. Does anyone have advice about facilities or other ways that I might try to find them a home? Tobias and Tzipora and I thank you.
posted by sb3 on Sep 21, 2013 - 17 answers

How badly have I screwed this up? Impotence, steroids and adoption.

I've taken steroids and screwed up my erection. I need my GP to write an assessing of my suitability for adoption. How badly have I screwed things up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2013 - 11 answers

What open-ended questions will help pregnant daughter mull her options?

Our daughter, "Mimi," is a divorced single 38 year-old mother of three who lives about 4 hours away. Over the past two years we've become quasi-surrogate parents to "Kato," a 26-year old guy who we like very much. Kato recently moved into our guest house and so six weeks ago he and Mimi met when she and her kids were visiting: obvious sparks. We promptly left on a four week trip and surmised that they were hooking up. But no one said anything after we returned and we kept mum, thinking that perhaps it had run its course. Last night Kato dropped the big bomb: Mimi's pregnant and they want to keep the baby and "make it work." [more inside]
posted by MySockyWocky on Aug 19, 2013 - 46 answers

There kitty kitty

I need advice regarding how to find a new home for a cat that my ex roomie abandoned and left me with. [more inside]
posted by vapidave on Aug 8, 2013 - 13 answers

Adoption in the UK

My partner and I would like to adopt, one day. We haven't figured out when yet but... should we? How long does it take, or what is the likely range of time, from the point at which you fill out the first form from the day you have a new member of the family under your roof? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2013 - 2 answers

We are getting a dog! Advise needed.

I have some questions about how to best bring a new dog into a new home. [more inside]
posted by neblina_matinal on Jun 13, 2013 - 17 answers

Kitten adoption - How to predict future domestic short-hair happiness?

Kitten adoption - How to predict future domestic short-hair happiness? [more inside]
posted by citygirl on Jun 7, 2013 - 26 answers

Book recommendations for preparing to adopt (possibly)

I am seeking book recommendations to prepare myself and my husband for adoption. Do you know of any reading material that is just fantastic and must be read, or that was very helpful to you? Further clarification inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2013 - 9 answers

Questions on adopting a dog, with consideration for desert and a baby

My wife and I have talked of adopting a dog for a while. Following the untimely passing of one of our cats, this is more feasible, and could help console us. But we have questions for adopting a dog in our desert climate, and on dogs coming into a family with a baby, and a cat. And we're concerned about being good owners, as our time at home is limited during the week. Also, we're discussing what a good age range for an adoptable dog would be. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by filthy light thief on May 3, 2013 - 33 answers

Adoption and Polyamory

What are the chances an openly polyamorous couple could adopt an older child from the foster system? [more inside]
posted by tomatofruit on Apr 17, 2013 - 13 answers

Should I keep this cat?

I impulsively adopted a Maine Coon mix over the weekend. Now I'm realizing this may have been a stupid thing to do given I have a Persian and am already drowning in cat fur. Should I return him before I get too attached? [more inside]
posted by raw sugar on Apr 15, 2013 - 28 answers

Finding homes for cat and kitten in Austin, bonus estrus edition

A sweet mama cat and her kitten were abandoned at a friend's house outside of Austin. I agreed to foster them for a bit, but we're going on week three, and tensions are building between the fosters and my two regular kitties. Bonus complication: Mama cat has now gone into heat (I think). Yikes. [more inside]
posted by pantarei70 on Apr 8, 2013 - 6 answers

Late 30s, unplanned pregnancy, unstable relationship, confused

Late 30s, unplanned pregnancy, unstable relationship, confused. This is my first time posting here so please bear with me. I'm in my late 30s, divorced, with a 9-year-old child. For the past 2 years, I've been involved with a man I love dearly...however, our relationship has always been rather tumultuous. He has bipolar disorder, and when we met, he was not taking medication or under any type of psychiatric care. I didn't know how to handle his mood swings, irrational accusations of infidelity/dishonesty, and controlling behaviors so I broke up with him. A few months later he contacted me and said he was under the care of a psychiatrist, medicated, and stable. We got back together. Things were better, but still rocky at times. We were engaged for a few months last fall, had another falling out, and got back together. We decided it was best to hold off on marriage for a while. He owns his home but is currently unemployed, living off savings and has tenants who are essentially covering the mortgage. [more inside]
posted by kribensa on Apr 3, 2013 - 55 answers

A Children's Book About Adoption

I'm looking for a book meant for small children, probably around age 6, about adoption. The cover pictures a white couple with two adopted (non-caucasian, I think, probably of different races) children. It would have been available at least in 1987-1990 (kind of fuzzy on the year) in New Jersey or thereabouts, USA. It was an English language book. [more inside]
posted by two lights above the sea on Mar 14, 2013 - 7 answers

When to tell him he's not my biological child?

My wife and I have a 3 year old, which for the sake of anonymity we will call John. He is the joy of my life, but biologically speaking, not mine. I am wondering if we should tell him, if so, how, and at what age we should tell him? Any Mefites who have experience either adopting or being adopted who have helpful input on this, it would be greatly appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Which kitten should we adopt?

We are thinking of adding another cat to our household, and need help choosing the right one - shy or outgoing? [more inside]
posted by tr0ubley on Feb 24, 2013 - 14 answers

What's wrong with this dog?

I adopted a dog on Saturday, a Silky Terrier mix. He had just gotten to the pound the day I adopted him, having been dropped off by a family who said they couldn't afford him. He's a very sweet dog and hasn't made a peep since I got him (seriously, not even a whine). Thing is, he won't eat. He's eaten maybe five tiny pieces of Kibbles and Bits and hasn't relieved himself in solid form, despite many walks. I finally gave in and gave him canned food and he took a bite, then ran off with the remainder, dropping it in the middle of the hallway and not touching it after that. [more inside]
posted by amiableamy on Feb 11, 2013 - 36 answers

Dog Ownership 101

What's it like to be a first-time dog owner? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Feb 9, 2013 - 54 answers

How Can Living in a Multiracial Household Affect an Adopted Child

I am of one race/ethnicity; my partner is of another. No kids. How will adopting a child from a third background impact him/her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2013 - 22 answers

Mail order wedding?

Is adopting a dog sight-unseen foolish? [more inside]
posted by InkaLomax on Jan 28, 2013 - 30 answers

Another exciting round of NAME. THAT. DOG!

NAME. THIS. DOG! [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Jan 27, 2013 - 68 answers

Adoption. Where do I go to learn more?

Adoption. There's too much about it on the internet. Can you help me find the wheat without dealing with too much chaff? [more inside]
posted by Anonymousness on Jan 6, 2013 - 15 answers

Help my younger cousin learn to love her skin.

How can I help my adopted cousin learn to love her skin? Have you been part of a transracial family? What did you find helpful or comforting? [more inside]
posted by turniphead on Dec 17, 2012 - 15 answers

To seek or not to seek?

My bf was adopted out of Asia. He's never sought out his birth parents. Should I encourage him to? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2012 - 43 answers

all I know about cats I learned from Garfield

What do I need to consider when working with Santa to put a surprise kitten under the tree on Christmas morning? [more inside]
posted by headnsouth on Nov 24, 2012 - 22 answers

A dog without politics in Seattle?

I am looking to adopt a dog, but first I want more information. I live in Seattle. I'd love to find a dog group/dog place where I can go, ask questions, maybe even get to know some different dogs, but I've lived in Seattle for more than 20 years and I've seen how ridiculous, make-PETA-look-sane, over the top animal people here can be. Is there a dog place/group in Seattle that is kind to people? [more inside]
posted by susandennis on Nov 15, 2012 - 14 answers

Closed casket, closed records?

failover in adoption records opening requests: what happens if a party is deceased? [more inside]
posted by mwhybark on Oct 22, 2012 - 7 answers

How to adopt a Boston Terrier, without waiting months?

What's the best way to adopt a Boston Terrier (without waiting months and months)? [more inside]
posted by amoeba on Oct 21, 2012 - 9 answers

Life choices are hard.

I have one daughter, she is 5.5. We always planned on having 3 children, but spacing turned into fertility issues turned into daughter will likely be 8 by the time we actually manage to have another offspring. Help me figure out the various pros/cons of having 2 more kids v. having 1 more kid/adopting a school age kid/ having 1 more kid/ leaving well enough alone. [more inside]
posted by dadici on Oct 15, 2012 - 33 answers

Can a rescue organization claim a dog as their own for its entire life?

How much legal weight does a shelter dog adoption agreement carry if the original adopter (who signed the agreement) has died? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2012 - 10 answers

Adopting a baby. We want to. Who should we work with?

Adopting a baby. We want to. Who should we work with? [more inside]
posted by fugitivefromchaingang on Sep 24, 2012 - 4 answers

At this rate, there will be sixteen by next week.

Cool or uncool: your spouse gets a second dog from a local shelter without asking or consulting you? [more inside]
posted by fatllama on Sep 7, 2012 - 88 answers

Help me not open a can of worms.

Can you recommend a reputable adoption blog? (for discussion and self-education) [more inside]
posted by maryr on Sep 5, 2012 - 7 answers

Of Fathers and Sons and DNA

My father's grandfather was adopted with very little paperwork or evidence trail as to his biological origins. Earlier this year, my father's uncle got his DNA tested. Unfortunately, the closest Y-DNA relative we've isolated from the tests is 13 generations back. But, I have a related question: All of the matches, through multiple services (having manually entered the data into other services) have a wide variety of non-repeating last names. Given that Y-DNA matches father-to-son, wouldn't there be at least some names repeating? [more inside]
posted by thanotopsis on Aug 30, 2012 - 25 answers

Do I have to choose between my son, or, my dad & stepmom?

My father and stepmother have rejected my son, after I placed him in an Open Adoption following his birth earlier this year. How do I deal with important family events where both parties would be welcome and invited? Snowflake details within. [more inside]
posted by erasorhed on Aug 6, 2012 - 21 answers

Should I put my dog down?

Should I euthanize my healthy, but difficult dog? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2012 - 64 answers

Help my wife prove her identity to the German Consulate

My wife, a card-carrying permanent resident alien living in the U.S., allowed her German passport to expire and is seeking a renewal through the German Consulate in New York City. She has her documentation mostly in order, including German birth certificate, but needs to show proof of a name change that took place during an adoption in Iowa when she was four years old. Difficulty: Iowa adoption records are sealed. Looking for advice on how to best request a copy of the documentation, or provide a suitable alternative. Comprehensive details inside. [more inside]
posted by Joey Bagels on Jul 23, 2012 - 5 answers

Chihuahua Puppy Guides?

In the wake of a recent hoarding incident in Pennsylvania a local shelter has a large number of chihuahuas who will soon be needing permanent homes. I have previous experience dogsitting a family member's chihuahua for long periods of time so I know how to take care of adults, but some puppies are also available for adoption and I think that might be a rewarding experience. Everyone in the household has experience with dogs, but we have not raised a puppy. I was wondering if you could link me to the best guides for what to expect and how to raise a puppy, and specifically for the unique challenges of a chihuahua puppy. [more inside]
posted by furiousxgeorge on Jul 22, 2012 - 4 answers

This Cat's Never Gonna Leave the Bed, Will He.

New cat is not exploring new home. How do we convince him we are nice people? [more inside]
posted by amicamentis on Jun 27, 2012 - 24 answers

What to Expect When You May or May Not Become Instaparents Tomorrow! No, jk, next year! No really, next week!

My husband and I are in the waiting stage of domestic newborn adoption with an excellent agency. We have reason to believe that our wait is likely to be a short one (0-6 months), and could go from "Hello, you've made a match" to "Guess what, it's time to meet the baby -- like, now" in a nanosecond (these are late 3rd trimester matches). In the meantime, we're trying to get ourselves ready to be ready to be parents, and to put our various houses in order before the much-longed-for life-altering event happens. Parents of AskMe, what do we need to do to make ourselves ready? Added complications inside! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2012 - 27 answers

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