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233 posts tagged with adoption.
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My cat died. How long should I wait before adopting another one ?

My beloved little cat (complete with a twitter account) died in the early hours on monday. I live alone and *feel* really alone without a furry, purring, mice chasing feline in my life. Is there any rule of thumb on the right delay between burying a cat and adopting a new one ?
posted by Baud on Dec 5, 2014 - 36 answers

Opening a closed adoption...across oceans, language and $$$ differences

We adopted a preschool age waiting child from rural Ethiopia a few years ago who was portrayed as having "developmental and physical problems from severe malnutrition," a birth mom who had passed away and an elderly father who was sick and could no longer care for the child. We have discovered since then that there are disparities in what we were led to believe about the situation leading to our child's relinquishment and we are trying to figure out how to navigate opening up the adoption with the birth family in rural Ethiopia. And this is going to be difficult. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2014 - 8 answers

Washington State Adoptee Original Birth Certificate

Washington state recently enacted a law that allows adoptees to request and receive a copy of their original birth certificate. I was adopted from Washington state, I know my birth name and my birth mother's name but I was still surprised by a couple things that were not on the copy I received. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 31, 2014 - 9 answers

Adoptee DNA test for African American roots?

Which of the several commercial DNA ancestry tests would be the best for a 44 year old man trying to find his African American relatives and ancestry. The man is adopted, his biological mother is white. He's met her but she remembers few details about his African American biological father, not enough to make him findable. He is hoping that a DNA test might help him to find out more about his father and his father's family.
posted by mareli on Oct 26, 2014 - 8 answers

Choosing kitties

Can a young energetic kitty and an older mellow kitty make a good pair? [more inside]
posted by Librarypt on Oct 19, 2014 - 23 answers

I don't want to be a bastard anymore.

How does my genetic father go about legally acknowledging me as his daughter? Right now, legally, my birth certificate has my father listed as 'Undeclared'. You are not my lawyer, but can you point me in the right direction? [more inside]
posted by Phalene on Oct 13, 2014 - 2 answers

Examples of Adoption in Film, TV and Theater

Hey There Everyone, I'm looking for examples in movies, TV, theater, fiction, non-fiction, etc. that show older children being rescued and adopted by people who they are not related to. Thanks so much!
posted by sunnyblues48 on Oct 9, 2014 - 36 answers

Non-book resources on parenting

I have a relative who is a newish parent, having recently adopted several children that were in her care as foster children for about a year prior to the adoption. As part of that process, she took parenting classes. But I think she needs more information as each child progresses through development (things like discipline, how to handle strong emotions in children, behavior issues, self-care for herself). My relative will not voluntarily read a book and she generally doesn't learn best through reading. [more inside]
posted by megancita on Oct 6, 2014 - 10 answers

Is there a term for rejecting something based on the people who like it?

Is there a formal term for situations where a person chooses not to buy something (or adopt some behavior) because the people who have bought it are "not like me"? [more inside]
posted by jasonhong on Sep 11, 2014 - 15 answers

How Is Babby Cared For: Crash Course in Babby 101

My partner and I just found out last night that we have been chosen as adoptive parents to a baby... who is due in September! So, suddenly lots to do and lots to learn. Where do we even start?! Instruction manuals, blogs, scholarly articles, To Do Lists, To Don't Do Lists... What are the resources you found indispensable? Which did you find later that you wished you'd had earlier? Which are a waste of my time? We have wonderful family and friends who I know will help us figure all of this out, but I need to start building up my own arsenal of resources.
posted by jph on Aug 3, 2014 - 27 answers

Can you give me examples of open ended pet adoption questions?

I am working to become an adoption counselor with a local no-kill animal shelter. What are some innocuous yet revealing questions that may have worked for you in a similar type of situation? [more inside]
posted by Bistle on Jul 29, 2014 - 16 answers

Does anyone have advice for adopting inside the family?

Right now, there is a chance that my husband and I may be the adopters of my niece's child. She and the father have drug addictions and have surrended their parental rights. The child is now living with her grandparents, but they are very stressed by the situation and might ask us to take her. We are ready to do so, but I'd like to know what we're getting into. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2014 - 10 answers

This Victim Wants To Adopt

Do I need to disclose the fact that I was a victim of domestic violence five years ago in my home study/international adoption application? If I don't, is there any way they could find out about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2014 - 22 answers

Lost and found: half sibling edition

I found out that I have a half brother five years ago. I got curious, then thanks to the internet, I was able to locate him a year ago. We (mom included) have been in touch, and he wants to be a part of our family, which I love as I am an only child raised by a single mom. The catch: He has problems with addiction, the law, and being employed. [more inside]
posted by hippychick on Jul 3, 2014 - 32 answers

Found my grandfather's birth family. Now what?

In the process of helping post my late grandfather's digitized papers online, I found his adoption paperwork (he made no secret of being adopted, but didn't talk about it much). It gave enough information that I was able to find that my grandfather had a brother, who apparently is still alive. I'm not sure what to do next; it's good to know there's more family out there (my father has few living relatives), but I'm not sure how happy others in my family will be with the reality, and the same may go for my grandfather's newly-discovered relatives. Advice would be helpful; details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2014 - 7 answers

Adoption 101 Must-Reads?

Sometime in the middle-distance future, Mr. Dorinda and I want to start a family. Since babies that share our genes are not an option for us, we're looking for recommendations for books, websites, organizations, and other resources that can help us to think about and prepare for the process of adopting a child, on both an abstract (i.e. what does this mean?) and a practical (i.e. what do we do?) level. [more inside]
posted by Dorinda on May 6, 2014 - 15 answers

Should my husband acknowledge his son's graduation?

My husband and his ex wife put their only child up for adoption 24 years ago (when he was about a year old). My husband's ex wife reached out to me almost 6 years ago asking if my husband (her ex) wanted to have a relationship with the child they put up for adoption. My husband wanted that opportunity. He reached out to the son several times, received no or limited responses. [more inside]
posted by getyourlife on May 4, 2014 - 32 answers

Home for unwed mothers in Indianapolis, 1960s-1970s?

Coincidence or something real? Two "relatives" have contacted me with a similar story: born to teenage mothers in Indianapolis in the 1960s or 1970s. Was there a home for unwed mothers there? [more inside]
posted by metarkest on Apr 26, 2014 - 11 answers

Advice for an adoptee

How do I find my birth parents? [more inside]
posted by mokin on Feb 6, 2014 - 14 answers

Can you sell a baby in the US?

Researching for a story filter: Is there one federal US law that forbids selling babies/children? If so, can you point me to the law itself? Bonus points for information about which year this passed and what opposition the legislation faced. My story would concern a baby born in the 1950s, most likely. [more inside]
posted by mrfuga0 on Feb 5, 2014 - 6 answers

Help me legally and ethically adopt my dog from a crazy LA rescue org.

When we brought home a new pup from a local rescue organization three months ago, we had no idea we were getting involved with a Crazy Lady. The adoption STILL isn't finalized and we really want to make it official and never deal with them again. Help me understand if their requests are reasonable and officially adopt my dog! [more inside]
posted by samthemander on Jan 22, 2014 - 43 answers

Wedding gift for the adult sister I'm just getting to know

At age 43, I found my birth family. (Original post. MeTa.) In addition to my birth mother and many other relatives, I've gained an adult sister. I'm now 44 and she's 29. We're slowly getting to know each other. My birth mother informed me the day we met last June that I'd be going to my sister's (up until then her only daughter, as far as the world knew) wedding in Key West in March. I was so thrilled by the whirlwind of everything, and I wanted to keep the hoopla surrounding my integration into the family as minimally disruptive to her planning the big event, that I've kind of forgotten something important until now: What on earth should I get her as a wedding present? [more inside]
posted by ImproviseOrDie on Jan 17, 2014 - 28 answers

Evaluating a kid for possible attention, sensory, & motor issues

My son's teacher, my spouse, and I have concerns about a few different, but possibly related, issues with my 9 year old son. What kind of place should we bring him to for an evaluation? I'm looking for suggestions either about general kinds of places you might bring a kid to get an evaluation or for specific places in Portland, Oregon. Any other input on these individual issues, including how they might be related, is welcome as well. [more inside]
posted by bluedaisy on Dec 27, 2013 - 15 answers

Introducing a new foster dog

Due to an emergency rescue, my plans for introducing a new foster dog have been pushed up significantly to tonight. There is one problem, I'm the only one around tonight and by the time, I pick her up - it will be super dark so introducing dogs in a neutral location is out. Help me make this as smooth as possible. [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Dec 18, 2013 - 8 answers

I want to be heroic but not, you know, in an inconvenient way.

I recently lost my cat, and I would like to go to the local humane society to adopt another one. I would like to find a balance between selecting a cat that would both best fit the requirements of our household and one that would probably a lower chance of being adopted. Can you help me identify traits to look for? [more inside]
posted by bibliowench on Nov 24, 2013 - 17 answers

Preparing my house for a new adopted shelter dog

What can I do to make my home "dog-proof" for the new 18-month-old dog I'm getting from a shelter? And what can I do to ease the trauma for him of moving to a completely new home? [more inside]
posted by madman on Nov 13, 2013 - 11 answers

Should I adopt this kitty? Not sure this is the right one...

Sorry for a kitty adoption question, but I need the power of the hivemind. I'm trying to decide if I should adopt this particular cat, or look for another one! Need to make a choice quick - snowflake issues beneath the fold. [more inside]
posted by jrochest on Oct 18, 2013 - 13 answers

playing the field, doggy edition

My husband and I are in the process of adopting a dog. Based on online profiles and email conversations with foster families, we've got it narrowed down to two pups that have been fostered through two local rescue groups. Now we are scheduling in-person meetings with the dogs and "home visits" where they send a volunteer to make sure our house is ok for a dog. Should we be telling each group that we are deciding between two dogs, which we're meeting on Thursday and Friday? [more inside]
posted by vytae on Oct 9, 2013 - 10 answers

I'm the jerk who adopted cats and now cannot keep them..suggestions?

I adopted two stray kittens just under a year ago. I am mildly allergic and planned to keep them temporarily, but grew quite attached. I am constantly on the road for work take them around from hotel to hotel with me, which is not ideal. On top of that, my permanent living situation is changing and I will be living with someone with severe cat allergies. I need to find a home for these two as soon as possible. I have exhausted my possible friends and family options. I really would like them to be able to stay together, as they are quite good buddies. I don't like the idea of giving them to a shelter, though I am beginning to see it may be the only option here. If it's useful, I am going back and fourth between Scranton, PA and Pittsburgh, PA right now, in case anyone has suggestions that are location specific. Does anyone have advice about facilities or other ways that I might try to find them a home? Tobias and Tzipora and I thank you.
posted by sb3 on Sep 21, 2013 - 17 answers

How badly have I screwed this up? Impotence, steroids and adoption.

I've taken steroids and screwed up my erection. I need my GP to write an assessing of my suitability for adoption. How badly have I screwed things up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 3, 2013 - 11 answers

What open-ended questions will help pregnant daughter mull her options?

Our daughter, "Mimi," is a divorced single 38 year-old mother of three who lives about 4 hours away. Over the past two years we've become quasi-surrogate parents to "Kato," a 26-year old guy who we like very much. Kato recently moved into our guest house and so six weeks ago he and Mimi met when she and her kids were visiting: obvious sparks. We promptly left on a four week trip and surmised that they were hooking up. But no one said anything after we returned and we kept mum, thinking that perhaps it had run its course. Last night Kato dropped the big bomb: Mimi's pregnant and they want to keep the baby and "make it work." [more inside]
posted by MySockyWocky on Aug 19, 2013 - 46 answers

There kitty kitty

I need advice regarding how to find a new home for a cat that my ex roomie abandoned and left me with. [more inside]
posted by vapidave on Aug 8, 2013 - 13 answers

Adoption in the UK

My partner and I would like to adopt, one day. We haven't figured out when yet but... should we? How long does it take, or what is the likely range of time, from the point at which you fill out the first form from the day you have a new member of the family under your roof? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 25, 2013 - 2 answers

We are getting a dog! Advise needed.

I have some questions about how to best bring a new dog into a new home. [more inside]
posted by neblina_matinal on Jun 13, 2013 - 17 answers

Kitten adoption - How to predict future domestic short-hair happiness?

Kitten adoption - How to predict future domestic short-hair happiness? [more inside]
posted by citygirl on Jun 7, 2013 - 26 answers

Book recommendations for preparing to adopt (possibly)

I am seeking book recommendations to prepare myself and my husband for adoption. Do you know of any reading material that is just fantastic and must be read, or that was very helpful to you? Further clarification inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 2, 2013 - 9 answers

Questions on adopting a dog, with consideration for desert and a baby

My wife and I have talked of adopting a dog for a while. Following the untimely passing of one of our cats, this is more feasible, and could help console us. But we have questions for adopting a dog in our desert climate, and on dogs coming into a family with a baby, and a cat. And we're concerned about being good owners, as our time at home is limited during the week. Also, we're discussing what a good age range for an adoptable dog would be. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by filthy light thief on May 3, 2013 - 33 answers

Adoption and Polyamory

What are the chances an openly polyamorous couple could adopt an older child from the foster system? [more inside]
posted by tomatofruit on Apr 17, 2013 - 13 answers

Should I keep this cat?

I impulsively adopted a Maine Coon mix over the weekend. Now I'm realizing this may have been a stupid thing to do given I have a Persian and am already drowning in cat fur. Should I return him before I get too attached? [more inside]
posted by raw sugar on Apr 15, 2013 - 28 answers

Finding homes for cat and kitten in Austin, bonus estrus edition

A sweet mama cat and her kitten were abandoned at a friend's house outside of Austin. I agreed to foster them for a bit, but we're going on week three, and tensions are building between the fosters and my two regular kitties. Bonus complication: Mama cat has now gone into heat (I think). Yikes. [more inside]
posted by pantarei70 on Apr 8, 2013 - 6 answers

Late 30s, unplanned pregnancy, unstable relationship, confused

Late 30s, unplanned pregnancy, unstable relationship, confused. This is my first time posting here so please bear with me. I'm in my late 30s, divorced, with a 9-year-old child. For the past 2 years, I've been involved with a man I love dearly...however, our relationship has always been rather tumultuous. He has bipolar disorder, and when we met, he was not taking medication or under any type of psychiatric care. I didn't know how to handle his mood swings, irrational accusations of infidelity/dishonesty, and controlling behaviors so I broke up with him. A few months later he contacted me and said he was under the care of a psychiatrist, medicated, and stable. We got back together. Things were better, but still rocky at times. We were engaged for a few months last fall, had another falling out, and got back together. We decided it was best to hold off on marriage for a while. He owns his home but is currently unemployed, living off savings and has tenants who are essentially covering the mortgage. [more inside]
posted by kribensa on Apr 3, 2013 - 55 answers

A Children's Book About Adoption

I'm looking for a book meant for small children, probably around age 6, about adoption. The cover pictures a white couple with two adopted (non-caucasian, I think, probably of different races) children. It would have been available at least in 1987-1990 (kind of fuzzy on the year) in New Jersey or thereabouts, USA. It was an English language book. [more inside]
posted by two lights above the sea on Mar 14, 2013 - 7 answers

When to tell him he's not my biological child?

My wife and I have a 3 year old, which for the sake of anonymity we will call John. He is the joy of my life, but biologically speaking, not mine. I am wondering if we should tell him, if so, how, and at what age we should tell him? Any Mefites who have experience either adopting or being adopted who have helpful input on this, it would be greatly appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Which kitten should we adopt?

We are thinking of adding another cat to our household, and need help choosing the right one - shy or outgoing? [more inside]
posted by tr0ubley on Feb 24, 2013 - 14 answers

What's wrong with this dog?

I adopted a dog on Saturday, a Silky Terrier mix. He had just gotten to the pound the day I adopted him, having been dropped off by a family who said they couldn't afford him. He's a very sweet dog and hasn't made a peep since I got him (seriously, not even a whine). Thing is, he won't eat. He's eaten maybe five tiny pieces of Kibbles and Bits and hasn't relieved himself in solid form, despite many walks. I finally gave in and gave him canned food and he took a bite, then ran off with the remainder, dropping it in the middle of the hallway and not touching it after that. [more inside]
posted by amiableamy on Feb 11, 2013 - 36 answers

Dog Ownership 101

What's it like to be a first-time dog owner? [more inside]
posted by Sara C. on Feb 9, 2013 - 54 answers

How Can Living in a Multiracial Household Affect an Adopted Child

I am of one race/ethnicity; my partner is of another. No kids. How will adopting a child from a third background impact him/her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 30, 2013 - 22 answers

Mail order wedding?

Is adopting a dog sight-unseen foolish? [more inside]
posted by InkaLomax on Jan 28, 2013 - 30 answers

Another exciting round of NAME. THAT. DOG!

NAME. THIS. DOG! [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Jan 27, 2013 - 68 answers

Adoption. Where do I go to learn more?

Adoption. There's too much about it on the internet. Can you help me find the wheat without dealing with too much chaff? [more inside]
posted by Anonymousness on Jan 6, 2013 - 15 answers

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