Through his breeder/handler, my boyfriend was offered a retired showing dog, a beautiful 4 year old Dalmatian. We already live with my rabbit, a very sweet 9 year old male. As an avid rabbit owner who has also been badly bitten by a dog in the past, I expressed my concerns to my boyfriend, who went ahead and brought the dog home in spite of my qualms. The dog is showing signs of aggression toward my rabbit, and now I am really worried about what to do. [more inside]
Assume, correctly, that I am someone who barely uses social media and is still shocked that people prefer to text rather than speak on the phone, what tips/ideas/things have you tried that you would or wouldn't recommend for finding a great cat a great home? [more inside]
Considering adopting a foster kitten; already have two young cats; live in a 1-bedroom apartment. Cats and kitten get along well now; but is this asking for territorial trouble? [more inside]
Need to find documentaries on RAD, watched Child of Rage and there seem to be others but cannot find them. This for an adult with the disorder who is seeking desperately to heal from inner rage and relational difficulties. [more inside]
My mother gave up a son for adoption in 1979 in the state of NJ. She hid this from me for most of my childhood, and now I would so much like to find him. I have her consent and a few bits of info, but am unsure how to proceed. Where do I go from here? What are my next steps? [more inside]
My new cats need names! After mourning the loss of my best friend Minnie (who was with me for 21 years), I've taken munchingzombie's advice to heart and adopted two new buddies from the shelter. [more inside]
We'd like to get some thoughtful 'thank-you' presents for 3 people who helped us with our adoption last year. But we don't know them that well, don't want to give just a token, and don't want to give an impersonal gift card. [more inside]
My town's no-kill animal shelter is inaccessible and has a low adoption rate. I would like to have a "display" of the real-life dogs and cats in the library I manage to improve adoption rates, bring awareness to low-cost neutering/spaying programmes, vaccinations, and annual registration as well. I was also hoping the animals could be used in a "puppy room" that provides stress relief while helping socialise the animals prior to adoption. Besides allergies, what other liabilities or challenges should be on my radar?
My fiance and I are getting married, and he'll be officially adopting my 6-year-old son immediately afterwards. We'd like to incorporate the (impending) adoption into the wedding ceremony. The officiant will adjust the language, but we're also hoping to find a great reading that addresses parent-child relationships or adoption in some way. Ideas? [more inside]
My wife and I met late and are now in our mid-40s. Having gone through early menopause, it's too late for us to have kids. She's very distraught about this (my feelings are more mixed) and feels like she's failed at the one thing that gives life purpose. What can I do to help? [more inside]
If you fathered a child as a result of a one-night-stand nearly forty years ago, would you want to know? [more inside]
What personal development strategies/hacks would you recommend for somebody preparing to adopt as a single working mother in 3-4 years? Special snowflakes inside, general advice welcome too! [more inside]
My wife and I are interested in getting a dog. We sort of thought of it as something we'd ease into, especially since we had heard that adoption can take a little bit of time. We stopped by a nearby animal rescue this weekend just to see what was involved, and met a very sweet, gentle 7-year-old pugle. We were very surprised to be told that the rescue does same-day adoption, and we could potentially take her home that day. I balked a little bit because our apartment isn't really set up for a dog, but we're both first time dog owners, so don't really know what that even means. [more inside]
I'm talking to someone on craigslist about a really sketchy dog adoption. What's the ethical thing to do to ensure the best outcome for me and for the dog? [more inside]
My partner and I are struggling with infertility. We are thinking of options but I'm not sure how we navigate how we really feel about those options, particularly adoption. [more inside]
Our newly adopted retired racing greyhound is somewhat fixated on our cat - despite being tested as cat-safe or cat-trainable. What else can we do to help this? Is it salvageable? [more inside]
Today's couples who are having difficulty "TTC" can potentially access IVF, surrogacy, medical interventions/advice, adoption, fostering, etc. What was life like for couples before these options arose? Was there shame, guilt or sorrow attached to not being able to have children ... and what did the men and women in this situation do about it?
We adopted this darling girl on Sunday from the ASPCA and her shelter name is Gossamer. I'm not sure if that's the name for her - sure, she is delicate and light, but Goss is a weird nickname so I'm considering other possibilities. [more inside]
It seems that we have a dog coming to live with us tonight. She's a rescue and apparently doesn't know how to be a dog. How do we teach her this? [more inside]
Introverts: What does a harmonious social network/community of friends look like to you? How have you gone about identifying and tweaking that balance? [more inside]
Our adopted child has a crazy need for control and we're worried about how it will impact their socialization in school. [more inside]
I am the child of an adoptee, the birth mother of whom is non-white. Now I'm planning to be an adopter, most probably of a child who is also non-white. [more inside]
My husband and I are talking about starting a family in a year or two, when we’ve paid off some debt. At this point I'm just beginning to do research and figure out how the process works, but I am curious if my situation will be a stumbling block. [more inside]
I would totally be willing to take in a kid who has been disowned by his/her parents for being LBTG. Is there somewhere I could register for that? Note: I am legally married cisgender woman with three young children of my own. Not being gay myself, there should be no legal obstacles in that regard. I'm just trying to connect with a disowned population.
Just beginning the complex/overwhelming/fraught process of exploring domestic infant adoption, and looking for help in sorting out a lot of conflicting information and emotions about agencies and ethics. [more inside]
We have the opportunity to adopt a 6.5-year-old child who previously suffered from neglect and malnutrition, but does not show signs of trauma or lack of attachment. What do we need to consider, know and act upon right away? [more inside]
How can I figure out what dog I want to adopt, when it's so hard for me to meet with them? [more inside]
My beloved little cat (complete with a twitter account) died in the early hours on monday. I live alone and *feel* really alone without a furry, purring, mice chasing feline in my life. Is there any rule of thumb on the right delay between burying a cat and adopting a new one ?
We adopted a preschool age waiting child from rural Ethiopia a few years ago who was portrayed as having "developmental and physical problems from severe malnutrition," a birth mom who had passed away and an elderly father who was sick and could no longer care for the child. We have discovered since then that there are disparities in what we were led to believe about the situation leading to our child's relinquishment and we are trying to figure out how to navigate opening up the adoption with the birth family in rural Ethiopia. And this is going to be difficult. [more inside]
Washington state recently enacted a law that allows adoptees to request and receive a copy of their original birth certificate. I was adopted from Washington state, I know my birth name and my birth mother's name but I was still surprised by a couple things that were not on the copy I received. [more inside]
Which of the several commercial DNA ancestry tests would be the best for a 44 year old man trying to find his African American relatives and ancestry. The man is adopted, his biological mother is white. He's met her but she remembers few details about his African American biological father, not enough to make him findable. He is hoping that a DNA test might help him to find out more about his father and his father's family.
Can a young energetic kitty and an older mellow kitty make a good pair? [more inside]
How does my genetic father go about legally acknowledging me as his daughter? Right now, legally, my birth certificate has my father listed as 'Undeclared'. You are not my lawyer, but can you point me in the right direction? [more inside]
Hey There Everyone, I'm looking for examples in movies, TV, theater, fiction, non-fiction, etc. that show older children being rescued and adopted by people who they are not related to. Thanks so much!
I have a relative who is a newish parent, having recently adopted several children that were in her care as foster children for about a year prior to the adoption. As part of that process, she took parenting classes. But I think she needs more information as each child progresses through development (things like discipline, how to handle strong emotions in children, behavior issues, self-care for herself). My relative will not voluntarily read a book and she generally doesn't learn best through reading. [more inside]
Is there a formal term for situations where a person chooses not to buy something (or adopt some behavior) because the people who have bought it are "not like me"? [more inside]
My partner and I just found out last night that we have been chosen as adoptive parents to a baby... who is due in September! So, suddenly lots to do and lots to learn. Where do we even start?! Instruction manuals, blogs, scholarly articles, To Do Lists, To Don't Do Lists... What are the resources you found indispensable? Which did you find later that you wished you'd had earlier? Which are a waste of my time? We have wonderful family and friends who I know will help us figure all of this out, but I need to start building up my own arsenal of resources.
I am working to become an adoption counselor with a local no-kill animal shelter. What are some innocuous yet revealing questions that may have worked for you in a similar type of situation? [more inside]
Right now, there is a chance that my husband and I may be the adopters of my niece's child. She and the father have drug addictions and have surrended their parental rights. The child is now living with her grandparents, but they are very stressed by the situation and might ask us to take her. We are ready to do so, but I'd like to know what we're getting into. [more inside]
Do I need to disclose the fact that I was a victim of domestic violence five years ago in my home study/international adoption application? If I don't, is there any way they could find out about it? [more inside]
I found out that I have a half brother five years ago. I got curious, then thanks to the internet, I was able to locate him a year ago. We (mom included) have been in touch, and he wants to be a part of our family, which I love as I am an only child raised by a single mom. The catch: He has problems with addiction, the law, and being employed. [more inside]
In the process of helping post my late grandfather's digitized papers online, I found his adoption paperwork (he made no secret of being adopted, but didn't talk about it much). It gave enough information that I was able to find that my grandfather had a brother, who apparently is still alive. I'm not sure what to do next; it's good to know there's more family out there (my father has few living relatives), but I'm not sure how happy others in my family will be with the reality, and the same may go for my grandfather's newly-discovered relatives. Advice would be helpful; details below. [more inside]
Sometime in the middle-distance future, Mr. Dorinda and I want to start a family. Since babies that share our genes are not an option for us, we're looking for recommendations for books, websites, organizations, and other resources that can help us to think about and prepare for the process of adopting a child, on both an abstract (i.e. what does this mean?) and a practical (i.e. what do we do?) level. [more inside]
My husband and his ex wife put their only child up for adoption 24 years ago (when he was about a year old). My husband's ex wife reached out to me almost 6 years ago asking if my husband (her ex) wanted to have a relationship with the child they put up for adoption. My husband wanted that opportunity. He reached out to the son several times, received no or limited responses. [more inside]
Coincidence or something real? Two "relatives" have contacted me with a similar story: born to teenage mothers in Indianapolis in the 1960s or 1970s. Was there a home for unwed mothers there? [more inside]
How do I find my birth parents? [more inside]
Researching for a story filter: Is there one federal US law that forbids selling babies/children? If so, can you point me to the law itself? Bonus points for information about which year this passed and what opposition the legislation faced. My story would concern a baby born in the 1950s, most likely. [more inside]
When we brought home a new pup from a local rescue organization three months ago, we had no idea we were getting involved with a Crazy Lady. The adoption STILL isn't finalized and we really want to make it official and never deal with them again. Help me understand if their requests are reasonable and officially adopt my dog! [more inside]
At age 43, I found my birth family. (Original post. MeTa.) In addition to my birth mother and many other relatives, I've gained an adult sister. I'm now 44 and she's 29. We're slowly getting to know each other. My birth mother informed me the day we met last June that I'd be going to my sister's (up until then her only daughter, as far as the world knew) wedding in Key West in March. I was so thrilled by the whirlwind of everything, and I wanted to keep the hoopla surrounding my integration into the family as minimally disruptive to her planning the big event, that I've kind of forgotten something important until now: What on earth should I get her as a wedding present? [more inside]