259 posts tagged with adoption.
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Three cats, one small apartment: too many?

Considering adopting a foster kitten; already have two young cats; live in a 1-bedroom apartment. Cats and kitten get along well now; but is this asking for territorial trouble? [more inside]
posted by We had a deal, Kyle on Jul 20, 2016 - 18 answers

Reactive Attachment Disorder in Adults

Need to find documentaries on RAD, watched Child of Rage and there seem to be others but cannot find them. This for an adult with the disorder who is seeking desperately to heal from inner rage and relational difficulties. [more inside]
posted by watercarrier on Jul 11, 2016 - 2 answers

Help me find a long lost half-sibling in the US

My mother gave up a son for adoption in 1979 in the state of NJ. She hid this from me for most of my childhood, and now I would so much like to find him. I have her consent and a few bits of info, but am unsure how to proceed. Where do I go from here? What are my next steps? [more inside]
posted by quinnsett on Jun 22, 2016 - 14 answers

Another Round of Name Those Cats

My new cats need names! After mourning the loss of my best friend Minnie (who was with me for 21 years), I've taken munchingzombie's advice to heart and adopted two new buddies from the shelter. [more inside]
posted by soonertbone on May 15, 2016 - 26 answers

Appropriate thank you presents for people who helped with our adoption

We'd like to get some thoughtful 'thank-you' presents for 3 people who helped us with our adoption last year. But we don't know them that well, don't want to give just a token, and don't want to give an impersonal gift card. [more inside]
posted by bitteroldman on Apr 15, 2016 - 8 answers

Can we teach the dogs to read while they are in the library?

My town's no-kill animal shelter is inaccessible and has a low adoption rate. I would like to have a "display" of the real-life dogs and cats in the library I manage to improve adoption rates, bring awareness to low-cost neutering/spaying programmes, vaccinations, and annual registration as well. I was also hoping the animals could be used in a "puppy room" that provides stress relief while helping socialise the animals prior to adoption. Besides allergies, what other liabilities or challenges should be on my radar?
posted by saucysault on Apr 7, 2016 - 19 answers

Fun wedding readings that deal with adoption?

My fiance and I are getting married, and he'll be officially adopting my 6-year-old son immediately afterwards. We'd like to incorporate the (impending) adoption into the wedding ceremony. The officiant will adjust the language, but we're also hoping to find a great reading that addresses parent-child relationships or adoption in some way. Ideas? [more inside]
posted by cogitron on Mar 30, 2016 - 6 answers

How can I help my wife cope with us being too old to have kids?

My wife and I met late and are now in our mid-40s. Having gone through early menopause, it's too late for us to have kids. She's very distraught about this (my feelings are more mixed) and feels like she's failed at the one thing that gives life purpose. What can I do to help? [more inside]
posted by SampleSize on Mar 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Hey, I think we know each other genetically

If you fathered a child as a result of a one-night-stand nearly forty years ago, would you want to know? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2016 - 35 answers

Motherhood, One Not Too Distant Day

What personal development strategies/hacks would you recommend for somebody preparing to adopt as a single working mother in 3-4 years? Special snowflakes inside, general advice welcome too! [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Jan 30, 2016 - 15 answers

Can we even have a dog?

My wife and I are interested in getting a dog. We sort of thought of it as something we'd ease into, especially since we had heard that adoption can take a little bit of time. We stopped by a nearby animal rescue this weekend just to see what was involved, and met a very sweet, gentle 7-year-old pugle. We were very surprised to be told that the rescue does same-day adoption, and we could potentially take her home that day. I balked a little bit because our apartment isn't really set up for a dog, but we're both first time dog owners, so don't really know what that even means. [more inside]
posted by Ragged Richard on Jan 18, 2016 - 16 answers

Help me save this sweetie

I'm talking to someone on craigslist about a really sketchy dog adoption. What's the ethical thing to do to ensure the best outcome for me and for the dog? [more inside]
posted by R a c h e l on Dec 28, 2015 - 30 answers

How to decide if adoption is the right choice?

My partner and I are struggling with infertility. We are thinking of options but I'm not sure how we navigate how we really feel about those options, particularly adoption. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 24, 2015 - 16 answers

Greyhound/cat friendship - What else can I do? Is this salvageable?

Our newly adopted retired racing greyhound is somewhat fixated on our cat - despite being tested as cat-safe or cat-trainable. What else can we do to help this? Is it salvageable? [more inside]
posted by cranberrymonger on Nov 11, 2015 - 11 answers

What was life like for infertile couples before the 20th century?

Today's couples who are having difficulty "TTC" can potentially access IVF, surrogacy, medical interventions/advice, adoption, fostering, etc. What was life like for couples before these options arose? Was there shame, guilt or sorrow attached to not being able to have children ... and what did the men and women in this situation do about it?
posted by dontjumplarry on Nov 7, 2015 - 18 answers

Should I rename my new kitten? If so, help! (Pics included, of course.)

We adopted this darling girl on Sunday from the ASPCA and her shelter name is Gossamer. I'm not sure if that's the name for her - sure, she is delicate and light, but Goss is a weird nickname so I'm considering other possibilities. [more inside]
posted by cristinacristinacristina on Sep 23, 2015 - 70 answers

Learning how to dog

It seems that we have a dog coming to live with us tonight. She's a rescue and apparently doesn't know how to be a dog. How do we teach her this? [more inside]
posted by backseatpilot on Sep 7, 2015 - 28 answers

Balance and community for introverts

Introverts: What does a harmonious social network/community of friends look like to you? How have you gone about identifying and tweaking that balance? [more inside]
posted by elephantsvanish on Aug 21, 2015 - 7 answers

Dealing with our child's anxiety-related need for total control

Our adopted child has a crazy need for control and we're worried about how it will impact their socialization in school. [more inside]
posted by bitteroldman on Jul 27, 2015 - 23 answers

Ethical interracial adoption by the child of an interracial adoptee

I am the child of an adoptee, the birth mother of whom is non-white. Now I'm planning to be an adopter, most probably of a child who is also non-white. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2015 - 11 answers

Adopting and maintaining cis privilege as someone who is trans

My husband and I are talking about starting a family in a year or two, when we’ve paid off some debt. At this point I'm just beginning to do research and figure out how the process works, but I am curious if my situation will be a stumbling block. [more inside]
posted by polywomp on May 12, 2015 - 10 answers

MeFi, help me name my new dog?

We are adopting this puppy right here, and I'd love some help with name ideas! [more inside]
posted by malphigian on May 12, 2015 - 62 answers

Is there an adoption registration for disowned gay youth?

I would totally be willing to take in a kid who has been disowned by his/her parents for being LBTG. Is there somewhere I could register for that? Note: I am legally married cisgender woman with three young children of my own. Not being gay myself, there should be no legal obstacles in that regard. I'm just trying to connect with a disowned population.
posted by wwartorff on Apr 4, 2015 - 6 answers

Ethical Adoption Agency/Unicorn?

Just beginning the complex/overwhelming/fraught process of exploring domestic infant adoption, and looking for help in sorting out a lot of conflicting information and emotions about agencies and ethics. [more inside]
posted by Dorinda on Mar 19, 2015 - 5 answers

Severe Neglect in a Six-Year-Old - what to consider before adopting?

We have the opportunity to adopt a 6.5-year-old child who previously suffered from neglect and malnutrition, but does not show signs of trauma or lack of attachment. What do we need to consider, know and act upon right away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 14, 2015 - 21 answers

The problem is, I want to hug all the world's dogs.

How can I figure out what dog I want to adopt, when it's so hard for me to meet with them? [more inside]
posted by meese on Feb 19, 2015 - 16 answers

My cat died. How long should I wait before adopting another one ?

My beloved little cat (complete with a twitter account) died in the early hours on monday. I live alone and *feel* really alone without a furry, purring, mice chasing feline in my life. Is there any rule of thumb on the right delay between burying a cat and adopting a new one ?
posted by Baud on Dec 5, 2014 - 36 answers

Opening a closed adoption...across oceans, language and $$$ differences

We adopted a preschool age waiting child from rural Ethiopia a few years ago who was portrayed as having "developmental and physical problems from severe malnutrition," a birth mom who had passed away and an elderly father who was sick and could no longer care for the child. We have discovered since then that there are disparities in what we were led to believe about the situation leading to our child's relinquishment and we are trying to figure out how to navigate opening up the adoption with the birth family in rural Ethiopia. And this is going to be difficult. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 1, 2014 - 8 answers

Washington State Adoptee Original Birth Certificate

Washington state recently enacted a law that allows adoptees to request and receive a copy of their original birth certificate. I was adopted from Washington state, I know my birth name and my birth mother's name but I was still surprised by a couple things that were not on the copy I received. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 31, 2014 - 9 answers

Adoptee DNA test for African American roots?

Which of the several commercial DNA ancestry tests would be the best for a 44 year old man trying to find his African American relatives and ancestry. The man is adopted, his biological mother is white. He's met her but she remembers few details about his African American biological father, not enough to make him findable. He is hoping that a DNA test might help him to find out more about his father and his father's family.
posted by mareli on Oct 26, 2014 - 8 answers

Choosing kitties

Can a young energetic kitty and an older mellow kitty make a good pair? [more inside]
posted by Librarypt on Oct 19, 2014 - 23 answers

I don't want to be a bastard anymore.

How does my genetic father go about legally acknowledging me as his daughter? Right now, legally, my birth certificate has my father listed as 'Undeclared'. You are not my lawyer, but can you point me in the right direction? [more inside]
posted by Phalene on Oct 13, 2014 - 2 answers

Examples of Adoption in Film, TV and Theater

Hey There Everyone, I'm looking for examples in movies, TV, theater, fiction, non-fiction, etc. that show older children being rescued and adopted by people who they are not related to. Thanks so much!
posted by sunnyblues48 on Oct 9, 2014 - 37 answers

Non-book resources on parenting

I have a relative who is a newish parent, having recently adopted several children that were in her care as foster children for about a year prior to the adoption. As part of that process, she took parenting classes. But I think she needs more information as each child progresses through development (things like discipline, how to handle strong emotions in children, behavior issues, self-care for herself). My relative will not voluntarily read a book and she generally doesn't learn best through reading. [more inside]
posted by megancita on Oct 6, 2014 - 10 answers

Is there a term for rejecting something based on the people who like it?

Is there a formal term for situations where a person chooses not to buy something (or adopt some behavior) because the people who have bought it are "not like me"? [more inside]
posted by jasonhong on Sep 11, 2014 - 15 answers

How Is Babby Cared For: Crash Course in Babby 101

My partner and I just found out last night that we have been chosen as adoptive parents to a baby... who is due in September! So, suddenly lots to do and lots to learn. Where do we even start?! Instruction manuals, blogs, scholarly articles, To Do Lists, To Don't Do Lists... What are the resources you found indispensable? Which did you find later that you wished you'd had earlier? Which are a waste of my time? We have wonderful family and friends who I know will help us figure all of this out, but I need to start building up my own arsenal of resources.
posted by jph on Aug 3, 2014 - 27 answers

Can you give me examples of open ended pet adoption questions?

I am working to become an adoption counselor with a local no-kill animal shelter. What are some innocuous yet revealing questions that may have worked for you in a similar type of situation? [more inside]
posted by Bistle on Jul 29, 2014 - 16 answers

Does anyone have advice for adopting inside the family?

Right now, there is a chance that my husband and I may be the adopters of my niece's child. She and the father have drug addictions and have surrended their parental rights. The child is now living with her grandparents, but they are very stressed by the situation and might ask us to take her. We are ready to do so, but I'd like to know what we're getting into. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2014 - 10 answers

This Victim Wants To Adopt

Do I need to disclose the fact that I was a victim of domestic violence five years ago in my home study/international adoption application? If I don't, is there any way they could find out about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2014 - 22 answers

Lost and found: half sibling edition

I found out that I have a half brother five years ago. I got curious, then thanks to the internet, I was able to locate him a year ago. We (mom included) have been in touch, and he wants to be a part of our family, which I love as I am an only child raised by a single mom. The catch: He has problems with addiction, the law, and being employed. [more inside]
posted by hippychick on Jul 3, 2014 - 32 answers

Found my grandfather's birth family. Now what?

In the process of helping post my late grandfather's digitized papers online, I found his adoption paperwork (he made no secret of being adopted, but didn't talk about it much). It gave enough information that I was able to find that my grandfather had a brother, who apparently is still alive. I'm not sure what to do next; it's good to know there's more family out there (my father has few living relatives), but I'm not sure how happy others in my family will be with the reality, and the same may go for my grandfather's newly-discovered relatives. Advice would be helpful; details below. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2014 - 7 answers

Adoption 101 Must-Reads?

Sometime in the middle-distance future, Mr. Dorinda and I want to start a family. Since babies that share our genes are not an option for us, we're looking for recommendations for books, websites, organizations, and other resources that can help us to think about and prepare for the process of adopting a child, on both an abstract (i.e. what does this mean?) and a practical (i.e. what do we do?) level. [more inside]
posted by Dorinda on May 6, 2014 - 15 answers

Should my husband acknowledge his son's graduation?

My husband and his ex wife put their only child up for adoption 24 years ago (when he was about a year old). My husband's ex wife reached out to me almost 6 years ago asking if my husband (her ex) wanted to have a relationship with the child they put up for adoption. My husband wanted that opportunity. He reached out to the son several times, received no or limited responses. [more inside]
posted by getyourlife on May 4, 2014 - 32 answers

Home for unwed mothers in Indianapolis, 1960s-1970s?

Coincidence or something real? Two "relatives" have contacted me with a similar story: born to teenage mothers in Indianapolis in the 1960s or 1970s. Was there a home for unwed mothers there? [more inside]
posted by metarkest on Apr 26, 2014 - 11 answers

Advice for an adoptee

How do I find my birth parents? [more inside]
posted by mokin on Feb 6, 2014 - 14 answers

Can you sell a baby in the US?

Researching for a story filter: Is there one federal US law that forbids selling babies/children? If so, can you point me to the law itself? Bonus points for information about which year this passed and what opposition the legislation faced. My story would concern a baby born in the 1950s, most likely. [more inside]
posted by mrfuga0 on Feb 5, 2014 - 6 answers

Help me legally and ethically adopt my dog from a crazy LA rescue org.

When we brought home a new pup from a local rescue organization three months ago, we had no idea we were getting involved with a Crazy Lady. The adoption STILL isn't finalized and we really want to make it official and never deal with them again. Help me understand if their requests are reasonable and officially adopt my dog! [more inside]
posted by samthemander on Jan 22, 2014 - 43 answers

Wedding gift for the adult sister I'm just getting to know

At age 43, I found my birth family. (Original post. MeTa.) In addition to my birth mother and many other relatives, I've gained an adult sister. I'm now 44 and she's 29. We're slowly getting to know each other. My birth mother informed me the day we met last June that I'd be going to my sister's (up until then her only daughter, as far as the world knew) wedding in Key West in March. I was so thrilled by the whirlwind of everything, and I wanted to keep the hoopla surrounding my integration into the family as minimally disruptive to her planning the big event, that I've kind of forgotten something important until now: What on earth should I get her as a wedding present? [more inside]
posted by ImproviseOrDie on Jan 17, 2014 - 28 answers

Evaluating a kid for possible attention, sensory, & motor issues

My son's teacher, my spouse, and I have concerns about a few different, but possibly related, issues with my 9 year old son. What kind of place should we bring him to for an evaluation? I'm looking for suggestions either about general kinds of places you might bring a kid to get an evaluation or for specific places in Portland, Oregon. Any other input on these individual issues, including how they might be related, is welcome as well. [more inside]
posted by bluedaisy on Dec 27, 2013 - 15 answers

Introducing a new foster dog

Due to an emergency rescue, my plans for introducing a new foster dog have been pushed up significantly to tonight. There is one problem, I'm the only one around tonight and by the time, I pick her up - it will be super dark so introducing dogs in a neutral location is out. Help me make this as smooth as possible. [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Dec 18, 2013 - 8 answers

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