I am in my early thirties, and I am finally facing the fact that I have a substantial drinking problem. Like a lot of people, I drink to mute my feelings--I have been through an awful lot of trauma, so even as I work on things there is still more hurt to feel. I am trying to formulate a recovery plan that works within my own idiosyncrasies and values, but I am not sure what is out there. [more inside]
I have problems with shopping compulsively. I want to stop so I can work on paying down debt, and the feelings of guilt and deception when it comes to hiding things. But I haven't found a way that sticks. Does anyone have any experience with beating addictions on a day to day basis? Or in talking yourself out of cravings? [more inside]
I have persistent headaches, backaches, depression, and anxiety. I take Tylenol to alleviate both physical and emotional pain, but now it has become so habitual that I can't stop. I'm scared of what I'm doing to my health at this point and need advice on how to stop, and other alternatives I can take to relax enough to be able to function throughout my day. [more inside]
I think my partner drinks too much. My partner thinks I'm overreacting. Who's right? [more inside]
Expert self-managers, how do you do it? [more inside]
Lately I notice that I've been slipping into some unhealthy vices.... [more inside]
I'm underemployed, have so many hobbies and interests that I can't decide which to pursue, and friends who are usually too busy to hang out very often. All of this makes my day-to-day life incredibly dull, so I usually end up online...all day. My room doesn't get cleaned, my laundry doesn't get done, my clients grow unhappy, and sometimes I forget to eat, but at least my brain has something to do. [more inside]
How do I conquer my longtime addiction to relationships, but... also date in Brooklyn? [more inside]
I'm not happy with the way I look or feel. I haven't been for a long time. I'm severely overweight, have high blood pressure with a family history of heart disease and diabetes, wake up with back pain every morning, have zero energy if it doesn't come in the form of an energy drink or shot, and just generally look like hell. What can I do to lose over 80 lbs and get myself to a healthy BMI for a 24yo 5'8' male when my brain acts like it really, really just wants to have me die of a heart attack by 35? Snowstorm inside. [more inside]
My partner has been wrestling with alcohol and sexual shame for a long time. This week, he confided in me that he wants to seek help based upon a boundary I set for myself, that he does not want to live like this anymore. I don't want to "over-help" or engage in any co-dependent behavior and I want to be a loving partner in this. But I also need to protect myself and our kids. What can I do or what should I avoid? Specifics inside. [more inside]
I'm looking for spiritual but not religious books on recovery in the AA tradition. [more inside]
This is my first ever question on metafilter, and it probably sounds absurd. I recently got a relatively-high-paying job away from home, and I'm only 23. Maybe it's because I'm lonely, but only time I feel good about myself or feel like I'm worth anything is when I help others. [more inside]
I hired a new nanny. Today is her 2nd day. As I had bad experiences with nanny before, I set up a nanny cam. After I came home today, I reviewed the video clips and found my nanny took out a prescription bottle, took a pill out of the bottle, kind of smash something on the table and then use a small paper roll and then it looks like she inhales it into nose. I reported to police right away and will definitely fire her. I don't know what else I can do or what else I should do. Any suggestions? Thank you
I started dating my girlfriend six months ago. Since that time, I have gradually taken more of my stimulant medication than prescribed. I have told her on multiple occasions about the overuse of my stimulant medication and that recently it had gotten worse. Earlier tonight she told me that she is starting to distance herself from me and that she needs some extra space to protect herself [from being around someone with addictive behavior]. Her brother had a drug problem and she understands how emotionally draining it can be to have an addict in her life. What is the mature thing to do in this situation? Do I wait for her to potentially break up with me? Do I ask her for a break while I work on things? Do I just want to ask for a break to save myself from the pain of her breaking up with me first? I love her and I want her to be a part of my life but I don't want her to be consumed by my addiction while I get help. Please help.
I found out that I have a half brother five years ago. I got curious, then thanks to the internet, I was able to locate him a year ago. We (mom included) have been in touch, and he wants to be a part of our family, which I love as I am an only child raised by a single mom. The catch: He has problems with addiction, the law, and being employed. [more inside]
Are there people with no vices? Is it possible to switch one vice for another? [more inside]
How do I approach this delicate situation of a recent breakup, addiction issues, and levels of responsibility and boundaries in a new ex’s life? [more inside]
I feel like I'm addicted to the Internet. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is go on my smartphone and Reddit for at least half an hour. I live at home and spend most of my day on the computer listening to music and surfing the web into the early hours of the morning. [more inside]
I can't stop reading PUA websites even though they make me unhappy, and I'm not sure how to deal with the effects it's having on me. [more inside]
I've amassed quite a collection, and have become compulsive about collecting and organizing my images and videos. I've been denying it for a while, but as it's been getting worse as of late I think I need some help and advice; I'd particularly like to hear from guys who have dealt with this issue, as I'm pretty sure this affects the dudes more than the ladies. NSFW, I guess. Details inside. [more inside]
How do I deal with an immediate family member with substance abuse problems at my upcoming wedding? When do I put my foot down? [more inside]
I'm looking to establish a therapeutical relationship for standard-ish reasons (ideally, a cognitive behavioral approach to some interpersonal issues) and need to find someone with a nuanced-to-permissive view of substance use. I'm not talking about narcotics, but occasionally I enjoy cannabis and often drink alcohol--neither, I believe, is excessive and certainly never cause health or legal* problems in my life. [more inside]
I'm working on a project at work about "unique or unexpected obsessions" related to technology, competition, health and fitness, animals, hunting, gaming or anything that is non-sexual or substance-related. I'm especially interested in how these so-called obsessions/addictions have impacted the subjects' relationships, careers, finances, etc. Where do I find people with weird yet intense obsessions that affect their everyday lives? I feel like I could use some inspiration, so any feedback would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
I just found out a good friend of mine from high school (whom I lost contact with in college) is a recovering heroin addict. Should I try to contact her? I found out in a very indirect way—details inside. [more inside]
I live in a place where marijuana is about to become available in storefronts. And I'm very very nervous. [more inside]
Having finished, and loved, The Good House by Ann Leary, I'm interested in other novels where addictions, problems, obsessions or bad habits affect the (unreliable?) narrator as part of their character rather than the main plot theme. [more inside]
How real is porn/sex addiction? And is it different for women? [more inside]
I used to be around 40 lbs overweight. I've lost weight gradually over the past couple of years and am down around 30 lbs. People say that you are supposed to feel great after losing weight like this. But I don't feel great. I feel like I have to be constantly vigilant. I've always had issues with anxiety, but now the anxiety is almost overwhelming and I have a lot of trouble sleeping. Tonight I just caved and made brownies and had a mini-binge. And... I feel good. The constant headache is gone and I have a pleasant buzz. I feel relaxed like I haven't in awhile. Are these signs of food addiction? If they are, what can I try as a healthy substitute? (I already walk about an hour a day - it's ok and I look forward to it, but it doesn't make me feel like I do right now.)
Mefites who have given up sugar (or some other beloved but harmful substance): does it get any easier? [more inside]
For some odd reason, I can only find statistics estimating the amount of regular heroin users in the US. I'm interested in all opioid based medications, both legal and illicit, prescription or otherwise. I'm interested in both people who are addicted and those who are physically dependent due to pain management. Do reliable statistics exist that encompass this entire population? [more inside]
My adult daughter was diagnosed very quickly by a psychiatrist with bi polar disorder. It isn't that I disagree, but unfortunately I'm concerned that she is showing signs of antisocial personality disorder....She cycles about every three months having at least 2-3 mini rage episodes a month. She told me today that she's scared because of thoughts she is having. She lives with me, as do her two amazing kids. Her ability to care for them on her own is out of the question in my opinion based on the fact that she has a pill addiction and has had 2 seizures over dosing. When things are bad she goes to the doctor, has good intentions, gets back on a "good" track when things are bad she is not capable of being a loving mother. [more inside]
My boyfriend of 5 months has recently confessed that the sexual problems we'd been having are largely due to his addiction to masturbating/porn. He has decided that he needs to quit and "reboot" his brain-- he's joined "nofap" on reddit, and seems very committed to making this change. It's been about two weeks since he took on the "challenge." It's a bit hard for me because a) I want to support him in any way I can while taking care of myself and b) I feel a overwhelmed by the extent of his problem and how it interrelates with our relationship. Help! [more inside]
I am already doing no contact and no exposure to my ex. Still, I get very regular cravings, thoughts, and dreams about them. It takes time out of my day, and disrupts my other relationships. I don't imagine I can make this stop, maybe ever, or for a long time. It's already been about a year. What are some practical, concrete tips to make this impact me less? [more inside]
I'm sort of new to watching tv. But thanks to Roku and Amazon Prime, I'm all "whoooooa this is awesooommmmeee!"... for, like, an entire day. How do I know how much tv is 'normal', since I'm prone to being sedentary and depressed at times, and really can't tell? [more inside]
I am in physical rehab right now after having surgery from a chronic sports injury. I am a little antsy to say the least, I can't do sports, and I want to understand my addiction better. I googled and couldn't find any good resources, books, movies, forums, anything will help. At this point I'm trying to AT LEAST make it to the end of my rehab (4 more months) without relapsing and going to play basketball and re-injuring myself. To call it a sports addiction is interesting in a few ways. I'm not addicted to exercise. It's sports, like basketball, soccer, football etc. And it may or may not be an "addiction" but I am strongly desiring to play sports with my friends, it's my favorite thing to do in the world, it's really fun. I'm a former professional athlete, and I know some people will say take up new hobbies.. uh huh,..
Did you kick your coffee-drinking habit? If so, how? [more inside]
I have a problem with intense physical anxiety. As anyone knows who has gone through this, it takes a long time before you can see a psych and get medication that works for you. I've finally done so, but in the period before getting help I relied on opiates to cope. Now I'm addicted and want to stop being dependent, but I have a new job and can't screw it up. [more inside]
My mother-in-law is very ill. In short, she is suffering from obesity, diabetes, hoarding, incontinence and mental health issues. Her husband is beyond the end of his rope and is thinking of leaving her. What can we do? [more inside]
I have been sober for almost two years from Short acting opiates. I quit my habit before it got out of control. I was using opiates about 5 out of the 6 days a week and it was getting worse. I would do about 60 mgs of oxy each time. I dont want to drink right now, but maybe a couple of years down the road I would like to have a drink. I never had a problem drinking at all. I know I am getting ahead of myself here, but I am just curious if it has been done? I went out with my friends this weekend and they were all drinking. I felt kind of left out. It was really not a big deal but I am still pretty curious.
My dad is around 70 years old and has subsisted on a steady diet of shortbread cookies (those ones in the yellow box from the convenience store) and vanilla Ensure drinks for the past 2-3 years. How can we help him to help himself and eat real, nourishing food? [more inside]
My [possibly workaholic] wife works seven days a week as a ski instructor. I live and work two hours away during the week, and then I drive up to see her on the weekends. When I'm there on the weekends, I spend an average of four hours a week with her. Usually she is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted from working so much. Needless to say, it does not feel like she is there for me. When I tell her I would like to spend more time with her, she tells me I'm too needy and dependent on her. I would like her to take off a Saturday or Sunday every week so we can spend time together. Is that asking for too much? What other requests/things can I do to make life more manageable? Thanks for your help. P.S. You get bonus points if you have worked in the ski industry and can explain how difficult it is to ask for weekends off! :-)
I have been sober for 8 months. I was on suboxone for 16 months then got off in May of last year. I have not taken pain pills in 2 years. I never attended any AA or NA program. IT is not for me. The problem is over the last 9 weeks I have been obsessing over my past use. This scares me and makes me fear I will relapse. I never want to do that stuff again, but it scares me that it is always on my brain. My therapist said sometimes it takes a year to die down. I hope I make it. Anyone have any previous experience with this?
Beyond the initial challenges of quitting smoking, what are the longer-term effects? How does life actually change? [more inside]
I feel like I'm in a love triangle, help me breakup with my girlfriend. [more inside]
Need help breaking an internet addiction before school begins. [more inside]
Two of my family members are interested (separately) in getting treatment for what seems to be depression. They are both in the Columbus, OH, area. I'd like to help them find services, but given their circumstances (detailed inside) and the fact that I'm in another state, I'm not sure where to start. [more inside]
What things help with your recovery besides meetings and aa? Please share some examples of how you recovered without aa. I want to try a different way, but dont think it will work because the aa is the only way saying has been drilled in my head.
Do I have to believe in the disease model of addiction to be successful in my recovery? I go to this counselor and he says in order for me to be happy I need to buy into NA and make friends there to live a happy healthy and normal life. I dont like NA and dont believe in the principles. Why cant I just say I was on drugs and now I am off without having to talk about it all the time? Is this the only way to happiness? He said I am fighting my disease and will never be happy if I dont try it. I have been sober for 5 months and I have real bad days and some good days. I am always overanalyzing things. I started CBT and that has seemed to make me more anxious at the moment. He also says that in my case CBT wont work unless I stop fighting my disease. I dont see how that makes sense.
My sober, drug addict husband was prescribed a cream for his painful arthritis. We always have a sobriety plan in place when he has to take strong pain medicines for legit reasons. Do we have to do the same thing for this cream? Also, what is in this medicine? [more inside]
My Little Brother is directionless after dropping out of college. He spends every day sleeping until 2, waking to smoke up, and then watching TV. I'm worried that weeks of complacency will lead to months of inactivity and eventually years of a pattern of self-defeating behavior. But I don't know what else I can tell him. [more inside]