Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with add

Learning to empathize

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:49:16 -0800

How can I understand, and empathize, with my fiancee's psychological issues? And other difficult-to-articulate questions. Posting anonymously as this is a fairly private issue I'd rather not have linked to my username.

Background info: I'd say I'm a well-adjusted, psychologically healthy male. I was raised believing in the power of the mind, with "anything's possible if you put your mind to it" as the family mantra. I'm a positive thinker and my own life has been shaped by discipline and self-control. I'm pretty stoic and always try to keep my emotions in check (I rarely cry or get angry, but I'm also upbeat and happy most of the time). Because these values have been reinforced and proven effective for me so many times over, I consider them virtues. I'm a big proponent of setting audacious goals, following my dreams, and being a self-made man.

The downside to this mindset is my difficulty empathizing with my fiancee. She takes two different medications, one for ADD and one for anxiety. This is probably a topic for another AskMe, but these two ailments are things I've always been skeptical of. I guess it's because I have no firsthand experience with them. I tend to agree with people like Thomas Szasz and the "anti-psychiatry" movement that these conditions are real but not necessarily best treated medically. Perhaps they're conditioned by upbringing, compounded by years of self-fulfilling diagnoses, special ed assignments, overstimulation, and psychosomatic confirmation bias. I realize this is controversial, and I don't want to debate it in this thread. Just trying to paint a picture of where I'm coming from.

My instinct, my deep desire, is to try to wean my fiancee off her meds (which she freely admits to hating for a number of reasons) and transition to a better-structured, calmer lifestyle. To help her rein in her issues sans pharmaceuticals. I feel some urgency, because doing nothing is unsustainable in the long term -- she continues to increase her dosage every few years just to get the same effects. How can someone follow that trajectory for a lifetime? It pains me to see her chemically addicted to mind-altering drugs that, as far as I can tell, only mask the symptoms instead of addressing the underlying cause. I'm particularly concerned about side effects that may manifest when we try for kids in a few years.

Anyway, that's a discussion for another time. Let me get to my real question.

When we talk about going off the meds, my fiancee agrees with my motivations but is terrified at the thought. It's not just the addiction talking -- she's fully convinced that her issues are 100% chemical and that there are no viable alternatives to prescription drugs. This is where I find it very hard to put myself in her shoes: she insists that she has no self-control, that it's clinically impossible for her to take any responsibility for her actions. This is contrary to everything I've ever believed about free will and sounds to my ears like pessimism or defeatism. She's playing the victim and refusing to even TRY to resist whatever urges pop into her head. She feels like it's out of her control but I have trouble believing it really is.

An example... something unexpected happens and her anxiety flares up. I try to calm her down. "It's okay," I say softly. I put my arm around her and breathe slowly so she can synchronize with me. I remind her that it's not the end of the world, that we can improvise and work around the obstacle. Her reaction is unexpected to me. She gets angry. "I can't calm down," she snaps. She pulls away from me sharply and does erratic things. It's like my attempts to help are useless, anything I do or say only aggravates the problem. Later she apologizes and tells me that her "brain was going very fast" and she simply couldn't process any stimuli at the time. Trying to help only snowballed the problem and she got angry with me for adding to the noise in her head.

She spends a lot of time angry or worried, even on her medication. I desperately want to help her get past these emotions, which will eat her up inside and make her miserable; training myself to overcome them was one of the best decisions I ever made. I want my fiancee to share my optimism and desire for adventure. I love her and just want to see her happy, not just momentarily but as a general frame of reference for her outlook on life. It's just healthier, for both of us as we head into marriage.

We've done pre-marital counseling, which I thought was great. But all of the counselor's advice built off my supposition that talking through issues in a logical, respectful manner is effective. Unfortunately, in the heat of the moment, clear-headed discussion is impossible (which frustrates me to no end, because I try endlessly to work through every bump in the road, just as was recommended, and seem to end up worse for my efforts).

I'm sorry this is so long. I don't really know how to frame this as a question but I'm getting exasperated. How can I help my fiancee? How can I come to understand her feeling of powerlessness? How can I actually make progress toward helping her overcome it?

My mind is open to new ways of looking at mental health, but it's still difficult for me. I feel that on some subconscious level, she's just lacking confidence in herself, being stubborn, and refusing to take responsibility for her behavior. She's not doing it intentionally, I know. If you think I'm wrong (and I'm sure many here will), how can I internalize the fact that some people literally cannot will themselves through adversity the way I've always done? It's almost impossible for me to accept, as it flies in the face of a lifetime of personal experience and seems ludicrous to me.

Any advice or related info is much appreciated. Throwaway email at empathytrouble@yahoo.com if you need it.

Messy question from a person who is a mess

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:03:54 -0800

Please help me make a decision. I am exhausted and stressed and maybe I am not thinking clearly. A friend gave me Adderall. Should I take some? Basically, I have been working very long hours (12-14 a day) without any time off (including weekends) for a couple of months. Long story short, worst semester of law school yet. I have three days before yet another exam and I am so tired and unprepared. I can't make myself do any work, and I really need to do this work.

Con side, I do not have a diagnosis, nor am i totally convinced that ADD is a "thing" or a thing that we can reliably diagnose. I am not trying to be insulting, sincerely, but I am ignorant and my ignorance makes me skeptical. Especially because I feel like it's cheating to declare that I'm not undisciplined, weak, lazy, spoiled, and so on, just "ill." Maybe some people are, but not me. I am pretty sure I'm just those things I listed.

Another con is that I don't even feel totally comfortable taking Advil... I have an irrational fear of pills. This sounds silly to me. We're taking about a 5 mg pill. I think that's the lowest available dose. But it still freaks me out.

I also fear that it either won't do anything or will be revelatory and life-changing and boom: dependency.

On the pro side, my three days to study are now 2.5 and I've made very very little progress. I also have been struggling for such a long time with what I think could fairly be characterized as a total inability to focus... part of me wonders if it really is "cheating" to take a drug that helps with that. Isn't that just a character flaw? But what if it's not? I don't know.

I think maybe this is a ridiculous question. I apologize. I'm probably just being ridiculous because I'm so tired, and so stressed, and feel so bad about how little I am able to do, and I feel like this is maybe me being tempted to do the wrong thing.

So here I am in the library surrounded by people who are sitting there doing work for minutes and hours at a time. It makes me feel inadequate and ashamed. The bottom line is I need to get my work done. I don't know what to do. I do not feel like I am thinking straight at this point. Please share your wisdom with me.

An ADD-like condition helped me screw up at work big time. How can I protect myself?

Anonymous — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:41:50 -0800

Serious mistakes made months ago at work have been uncovered. Facing possible discipline (even termination), I'm wondering how (or if) I should disclose mental health issues that likely contributed. I work as a consultant to a government agency. My work performance has been exemplary from the beginning, and in the 2.5 years I've had the job, I've never earned anything less than an "excellent" rating on every performance evaluation from the client. No one questions my skills or the quality of my work.

But inconsistencies in my time reporting have come to light, and in a time when corruption within government agencies is under intense scrutiny, even the appearance that one has falsified one's time-keeping could realistically be grounds for termination.

The basic problem: half the time I forgot to clock in, or out--or both--on the electronic time-clock, so my written time-sheets (which are used to bill the client) don't match my electronic ones. I am now required to address the inconsistencies and provide documentation that I was working when I said I was, going back more than six months.

While I'm confident that I worked the hours I claimed (and billed for), I'm having difficulty proving it. Because of inbox quotas, I don't have any e-mail messages prior to late July, so I can't retrace my steps that way. I do have some solid documentation, but an awful lot is left to a "best guess" scenario about when I was where, and what I was doing there. I don't dispute that I made mistakes or that I should perhaps be disciplined for them, and I realize my case doesn't look good.

Here's where it gets messy. I suffer from hypothyroidism, with attendant mental health issues: fatigue, "brain fog," difficulty focusing and maintaining concentration, difficulty with detail-oriented work, forgetfulness/absent-mindedness. The symptoms are very much like ADD, and frankly, I think it's a miracle that I've been able to perform as well as I have on the job--know one knows about my problem.

A month ago, my doctor--acting on my complaints of the above issues--decided to try an ADD medication on me. The drug has been nothing short of a revelation--I can't believe the difference in my daily work life. I haven't forgotten to clock in ONCE since I started, and my record keeping is superb. I have no trouble maintaining focus and concentration on detail-oriented assignments for long periods of time. I can read long documents without falling asleep, and don't seem to drift off when studying spreadsheets and data. I feel like I've turned my mental clock back 10 years--it's been a breathtaking change.

I now have no doubt that my previous mental state contributed to my forgetfulness and poor record-keeping at work. But I've never disclosed this information to my employer or the client, for obvious reasons.

Now that my mistakes have been revealed, I'm concerned about practical things like protecting my right to claim unemployment benefits should I be dismissed over the errors.

I'm not trying to escape discipline--I know I should have told my boss what was going on, and perhaps should have addressed the problems sooner. But I also don't think I should have my career and future ruined because of a problem that I have don't seem have anymore.

I am loathe to reveal this information to my employer on the chance that this situation does NOT lead to my dismissal. Why bring the baggage of mental health into a situation where it won't matter because the problem is solved?

But what if I am dismissed? I'm interested in suggestions on how best to protect myself, my unemployment benefits, and my future. For what it's worth, I live and work in the state of Illinois. Throwaway e-mail: hypothyroid.at.work@gmail.com

Guns and ADD do mix

TorontoSandy — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:13:52 -0800

Could being treated for ADD cause someone to lose their concealed carry permit? My brother is a responsible gun owner who has a concealed carry permit. I also think he would be happier in his work life if he was being treated for ADD. He's very reluctant to see a Dr about this because he's afraid he'll lose his concealed carry permit. I'm not sure where he got this notion but it can't be true, can it?

Where can I get tested for ADD?

Anonymous — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 18:20:53 -0800

[Chicago Filter] Where can I find a place that tests for adult ADHD/ADD, and accepts insurance up front? Most places I've tried want me to pay up front and then send the bill to my insurance company, which would be fine except the price ranges from $600-$2000. I don't have much time to save up the money because it's urgent (poor performance in college, not really looked into earlier because of at-home issues, in case anyone is wondering.)

I can pay up front/bill the insurance later if the price is ~$300, so if you know any places like that that would be great also. Thanks in advance!

The First Few Days of Adderall XR

SNWidget — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 18:05:41 -0800

AdderallFilter: I've just started a new prescription, and I'm wondering about some of the effects and what I should be feeling. I've read the backlog of what AskMe has to offer about the medication, but I've got a few specific questions that I couldn't quite find.

Background: The usual. Couldn't focus, couldn't concentrate, couldn't do any project without checking e-mail 30 times, refused to do work. Went to the doctor (GP), ADD diagnosisgot a scrip for 10mg of Adderall XR, as needed.

The Co-Conspirators: I'm also on Buspar for anxiety, which has been absolution amazing and transformative.

Questions: I popped my first pill around 5pm today, and it's about 8pm now. From what I'd heard, I was expecting "WHOA," but I got more of a "Huh." I did manage to feel a bit more focused, but I also felt hazy and a little... weird? Just like everything was a bit off. I did manage to get some work done, which was uncharacteristic for me.

I know that pharmacological reactions vary by the person, but was I expecting too much too soon? I had friends that used to abuse Adderall like crazy in college (I don't think it was XR, though), and it would hit them pretty fast. I feel focused, but it's not WHOA, like they seemed to get. I understand the XR principle, but am I ever going to get like that WHOA? Or was that just their uncontrolled dosages?

Is it like SSRIs where you need to take it for a while to get the most effect? Will tomorrow's dosage feel different than today's?

Side Question: I like the increased focus, but I'm having trouble harnessing it. I was doing great on some work I had to take care of, but then I switched on the TV, and BAM - TV was in my focus. It's like I have a laser, and I'm swinging it a bit wildly. Is something that just takes practice?

Thanks in advance for the help, medicated (and non) MeFites.

How does noise affect the autistic mind?

bonsai forest — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 06:20:34 -0800

I understand that noise can become overwhelming rapidly to those in the autism spectrum or with ADD/ADHD syndromes due to increased sensitivities of all the sense perceptions, but I have also heard of research that suggests a certain measure of white noise and some kinds of music can help both ADD and autism spectrum young people focus their brains. I am trying to get a sense of how these two seemingly opposing responses can coexist, and whether the noise helps mask internal brain noise, to stimulate understimulated, low activity regions of the brain, or other explanations for this response.

Focus, brain.

Viola — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 03:35:41 -0800

I've written 10 of 20 pages of dense literary research in short spurts here and there. How do I spend all day tomorrow finishing up the rest? As a lifelong procrastinator I'm fixated by the fact that my paper isn't due for another 7 weeks, but I'd rather complete the bulk of the work tomorrow. How should I prepare to do challenging intellectual work for long stretches of time? Tomorrow I am taking off a whole day to write at the local library from 9AM until 8PM. The entire project is due December 13th. Deadlines are my academic drug, and since my brain knows the entire body of work isn't due for another seven weeks, it has a hard time snapping together and focusing now. It would much rather dawdle until December 7th rolls around and then grandly rise to the occasion. I've been getting up early in the morning and going to the local Starbucks before work and writing a paragraph here and there. This helps me focus because I know I have to be at my desk by 9:30 to do completely unrelated work, and the mini deadlines give me a tiny push to actually concentrate. Yet my work is a little incoherent because I keep writing in spurts, so I'd do well to just bang out the rest of the rough draft tomorrow and spend the rest of my time tightening the work. Furthermore, I'd like to spend Halloween guilt-free and not worrying about how I've wasted another weekend (I always waste whole weekends) out with my friends.

I'm easily, powerfully distracted by internet searches, which I've combated using LeechBlock. I cannot do work at home, as I'll wander into other rooms, take multiple showers, flip through books, etc, so I'm going to the library. I will pack meals to eat in the library pavilion. I will wear comfortable clothes and not drink too much coffee. I will bring a not-terribly-interesting book to skim when my brain starts flagging.

What else should I do to ensure that I won't idiotically squander a day off from my job by weaseling my way around LeechBlock? Put another way, how can I squash my procrastinating habits for one damn day so I can rid myself of weeks of incremental, social life-killing work?

Honey, sometimes I have a hard time...Ooooh shiny!

bilabial — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 05:30:49 -0800

Relationship filter: He's an Austrian in Austria, I'm an American in America, and I have ADHD/Inattentive type. He's not familiar with this concept. What books can I suggest to him? Bonus points if these books are written in German. He reads for pleasure in English, but it's not his first language.

Books could be about Women with ADHD, how ADHD affects relationships, or just a basic, What is ADHD? type book.

If left to my own devices I'd send him Sari Solden's book about women with ADHD, but it's a little...long, and not quite as focused on the positive as I would like. I just started reading The Gift of Adult ADD, I think I like it.

I mentioned my diagnosis to him a few months ago and he was puzzled. We're at the 6 month point in our relationship, and I think it would be good for him to understand a bit more about me, regardless of where this relationship is headed in the super long term.

You see, I'm still coming to terms with this diagnosis myself. I haven't gotten to acceptance yet, but I'm doing a pretty good job working on anger with some occassional bargaining. My medication is mostly worked out. I have a daily schedule that I slowly add things to - make the bed, how to clean the kitchen, when to leave the house to catch the bus on time, what needs to be in my bag for work.

And hey, any helpful strategies for me would be great, too!

Have you taken Adderall and blood pressure meds?

keener_sounds — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 13:22:04 -0800

I have Adult ADD -- and about 5 years ago, I briefly got a huge benefit from taking Adderall. But that was before I had high blood pressure. For the past 2 years I've had high blood pressure that is pretty well controlled by meds-- when it was diagnosed it was *really* high (195/110!) I'm not really overweight nor do I have other risk factors for high blood pressure; just seems to be the way I handle stress. Anyway, I have just been given a beautiful bottle of blue pills with my name on it by a respected psychiatrist who says it's OK to take this Adderall as long as I continue take my blood pressure meds and monitor myself at home with a cuff. The regular doc also says it's OK. Only 5 mg of Adderall twice a day; I could take it once a day. But I'm terrified. You are not my doctor. But have you taken Adderall with controlled high blood pressure? The website says: Do not take with high blood pressure. Canada says: Adderall is banned due to sudden deaths and strokes. Docs say: Go ahead. My work says: Take the damn -- what? Was that a squirrel out the window? Oh yeah.
Please let me know if you have experienced this -- seems like it should be all over the web, but all I can find are warnings about high blood pressure, not controlled high blood pressure. Thanks hive mind.

Adult ADHD questions

Anonymous — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 13:30:02 -0800

Adult ADHD newbie has lots of questions for you. I have just been diagnosed with ADHD, including the H even though I am a couch potato. I am a geek girl in my early thirties.
I have suffered from depression and anxiety in an almost cyclic fashion forever, and have been seeing a psychologist and taking antidepessants for about two years. We have ruled out other "cyclic" diagnoses such as bipolar, etc. and it seems that while I cope and compensate very well for the adhd, after a certain period of time I just can't anymore. I hadn't considered adhd previously, but in hindsight it makes a lot of sense. I am presently off meds due to the testing for adhd. I live in europe in a country with fairly open attitudes to this sort of stuff, and am being offered meds as well as other support, and have my first meeting about it with my dr. next week. I don't know what to ask about?

I have been trying to combat my "stress" by simplifying my life, doing calm things, not multitasking, and so on, but it sounds like that might be the worst thing for me?

Am I likely to be able to study now? The neuro-testing says I am not as dumb as I have previously thought, so I would like to try again. Anyone with experience of that?

I want to try meds but do you have other advice? Hydration, fishoil, b-vitamins etc? Can these be combined with stimulants when I get them?

Will treating this help me with follow-through or willpower? I want to work out, I really do, and I want to do the vacuuming, really, I just never actually do. Same goes for really wanting not to take both of the last pieces of cake. Is this the impulse aspect?

So that's the background, and a bunch of questions. Advice and real life tips please.
What is there that I don't even know to ask about?

Throwaway account: 4w545w@gmail.com (why deprive somone of a good userid).

Adult ADD in the UK

Flitcraft — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 11:44:12 -0800

Anyone with Adult ADD in the UK - Did you try a private route to get a diagnosis? If so, who would you recommend? How did a diagnosis affect things at work? If you have a history of heart disease in the family is it too risky to take meds? I asked a similar question years ago, but got mostly US people responding who, though helpful, couldn't address the problems of getting a non-NHS diagnosis in the UK. The condition is barely recognised in Scotland, where I am, so there's little point in going to my GP, but I have enough money to follow a private diagnosis route and would like recommendations, especially in London.

I've known for some years, since I first came across the concept, that this is very likely what I have - I can see all the symptoms from my childhood onwards. I've previously managed quite well with it because my chosen job is a good fit. However that has all changed. My employers have been making rounds of cuts and outsourcing which have left me without admin help, having to cope with a myriad of nasty online form filling tasks which reduce me to a wreck, and having to remember to do more and more admin tasks without prompting, or face failure, and doing all the admin and organisation slows me down and demotivates me, causing me terrible stress and overwork to make my deadlines, which were never a problem before. I can't pay for outside admin help, as these bloody forms are all on internal systems which are only accessible within the organisation to employees.

This is a reason why I'm considering going down the medical route. If I turn out to be right, and get a formal diagnosis, do my employers have any responsibility to provide help for me? Or could this be a bad move which might lead to discrimination against me in the future? I'm also worried because of the shocking history of heart disease in my family, and my own age and risk factors, as to whether medication for ADD could increase my risk of a heart attack. Any relevant experience and recommendations would be appreciated. Thanks!

How does one go about receiving an ADD diagnosis and medical treatment these days?

Rendus — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:12:48 -0800

I'm a 28 year old male in Las Vegas, Nevada. When I was in my late pre-teens, I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, and went through various treatments (Ritalin, Adderall, then eventually easing off medications entirely). Now, due to a promising promotion and other life changes, I need to be able to focus beyond what my self-regulation allows me. What can an adult expect to go through to convince a doctor that they have ADD, and to convince them to treat it medically? Initially, I was diagnosed and treated by a Neurologist, through a referral from our family doctor. Later, I was treated by a Psychiatrist (for ADD as well as manic depression and obsessive/compulsive disorder). I haven't been treated medically for ADD since my mid-teens, so I don't know quite where to start.

As an added bonus, I'm currently uninsured and do not have a regular doctor. If I were insured, I'd just start at a general practice doctor and work my way up the chain from there. I'm hoping there are people here with experience regarding if a general practitioner will be willing to diagnose and medically treat ADD, or if it's still mostly in the realm of (more expensive) specialists.

What can one expect, going to a doctor with this sort of treatment request? At least when I was a kid, there was a great deal of concern regarding abuse of these medications, and they are controlled substances. I don't have medical records for my treatment as a child, and I'm not sure they'd satisfy any concerns a doctor may have anyway.

Any hints as to what uninsured pricing for these medications might be would be appreciated, but of less concern to me than going to the right person the first time, and getting things rolling.

(Please note: I am aware of, and respect the idea of non-prescription treatments for ADD. Unfortunately, they rarely work for me, and not to the degree I've experienced lately through other means. I'm at the point where I'm seeking professional medical treatment for the disorder.)

ADD in LA

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:05:52 -0800

ADD help in LA? Diagnosed with ADD NOS right before I left college, then moved to LA. My success in managing it comes and goes, but seems to be at a particularly low point right now. Which, combined with unemployment, means I just feel like my life is out of control and I can't focus on any one thing long enough to get my life back on track.

Since I'm unemployed, I'd prefer options that are cheap or free until I can get back on my feet. I've tried GTD and similar organizational structures and have had no luck sticking to them. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can only seem to follow any routine until something unexpected happens, then it's all lost in the shuffle and ugh.

Anyway, ideally a professional. And friends in other places who also have ADD seem to have done well with drugs and CBT. But in trying to do some research on options here, I've been fairly snowed under by the myriad options and the high percentage of dubious-looking advertorials.

Help me meditate.

bondcliff — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 06:58:55 -0800

I’m interested in learning more about meditation. I also have ADD and find it impossible to shut off my brain and clear my mind. After discussing it with a friend, a friend whose constant calm manner I find inspiring, I think I’d like to give meditation a try. My main goal is to be a bit more calm. I’m generally easy going but I’m quick to lose my temper and raise my voice. I come from a family of screamers and I find myself falling into the same pattern when it comes to parenting. I gotta cut that shit out.

I’m looking for any advice, tips, resources, etc to get me started.

A couple of things:

As mentioned, I have ADD (officially diagnosed by a neuro-psychologist, not medicated because nothing seems to work.) Phrases like “clear your mind” are lost on me. I can’t clear it, it’s always going. My ADD has contributed to lifelong insomnia because I just can’t shut down at night. I’m not looking for a cure for ADD, I only mention it because I suspect it will be an obstacle. I’m especially interested in hearing from people who understand what ADD is like and have experience dealing with ADD and meditation.

I’m an atheist and a total skeptic. Any spiritual, new-agey, or religious components will be a turn off. I need to approach this from a purely practical point of view. I’m all for clutter clearing and arranging furniture but any talk of Feng-Shui makes me want to throw things. I’m not looking to find enlightenment and/or Jesus. I’m open minded though, so if meditation leads to these things I won’t reject them.

I’d also be interested in learning of any beginner classes in my area (metro Boston) as long as they’re not scammey, new-agey or spiritual. Why do all these places need to have a Buddha out front?

So far my only experience with anything of this sort was from a sleep doctor who, among other things, gave me a relaxation CD. It involved progressively relaxing my muscles, starting from my toes, and clearing my thoughts as I worked my way up. By the time I got to my shins I was thinking about Princess Leia’s gold slave outfit and then I moved on to my favorite ice cream flavors. Next thing I knew I was supposed to be relaxing my forehead but I had a boner and wanted a hot fudge sundae. Yes, I tried it a bunch of times.

So yeah, I suspect this won’t be easy. But I’m ready to try.

Adderall and YOU

ocherdraco — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 08:38:40 -0800

How did Adderall change things for you? My doctor thinks I may have ADD (not ADHD), and is prescribing Adderall for a few weeks so we can see what happens. I have no idea what to expect, and I know that it works differently for everyone. I'd like to have some individual examples of how it affects people, rather than the more general things I've been able to read elsewhere. How did taking Adderall change your life?

I think I have ADHD

A Thousand Baited Hooks — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 05:41:45 -0800

I think I may have adult ADHD. Help me make the most of my visit to a doctor. I think I have inattentive-type ADHD. I have a doctor's appointment in a few days to talk about it, and I'd like to go with as much preparation as possible so I can focus on what's relevant. My experience with doctors has been that they best help those who work really hard at being helped, so I would like to know: what should I talk about to have the best chance of a useful diagnosis? (be it ADHD, all okay, or something completely different.)

My main problem is sleepiness. I get into a meeting at work and within ten minutes my mind starts wandering and it becomes physically impossible to keep my eyes open. Then I start hallucinating. It's not sleep deprivation or general tiredness - I can be completely alert one moment but as soon as I'm in a situation where I'm relaxed and not completely mentally engaged, my attention drifts uncontrollably into a sort of meditative trance state and I'm gone. It was the same at school and uni.

I've been tested for sleep apnoea and narcolepsy, but no. I've tried everything I can think of: sleeping lots, not sleeping so much, caffeine, exercise, eating, not eating, exclusion diets, sitting facing the sun, heat, cold etc etc but nothing works. I used to think that the sleepiness thing was inconsistent with ADHD, but I recently heard that a friend of a friend had problems very similar to mine and was cured completely when medicated for ADHD. And I'm willing to try most things.

Other details:
I have basically no memory. I can keep logical structures (things like computer programs) in my mind, but facts disappear as soon as my attention wanders away from them for a moment. Things like people's names, where I left the keys, what I just walked for a quarter of an hour to the supermarket to buy vanish instantly. I deal with this by leaving sticky notes lying around everywhere, but this isn't ideal.

I've never been able to concentrate. At school and uni I never did any work, but managed to cruise through on luck and the small amount of cramming that I could handle. At work I find myself constantly distracted. When I'm not falling asleep, I'm finding it almost impossible to stay sitting in my chair. The Internet is a curse. Somehow I've managed to cruise through this as well, but it's getting worse and it's going to cause real problems for me one day. Actually I'm surprised I've gotten away with it so far. Despite all of that, though, I do have pretty decent videogame skills.

I was horribly hyperactive as a child. Really unmanageable. I would run around screaming, bite other children, plough into my teacher's legs with my fists. I calmed down a lot at about 6 but was still kind of ratty for a few years after that.

I can't drive. I mean, I can operate a car and steer it down an empty street, but as soon as there are a few other vehicles on the road my brain gets overloaded with information and I pretty much rely on luck to avoid hitting things. I wrote off my first car when I was 19 and almost killed myself.

In fact any kind of multi-tasking is right out. I can't do anything productive if there's music on, for example - the music steals enough of my attention that there isn't any left to do anything useful with.

So.
So far, everything in my Internet Doctor self-wikidiagnosis seems to fit with inattentive-type ADHD. But I'm worried about one of the diagnostic criteria, which is clinically significant problems in two areas of life. Despite my issues with sleepiness and distraction, I managed to do okay at uni and I've never been fired from a job. I think I hide my problems pretty well. But there does seem to be something wrong with me, even if it's not ADHD. Most people can drive a car, for example, and although I can deal with the distraction thing to some extent with self-control, I can't stop myself falling asleep.

Damn, that's long. Sorry. A few quick details: 30 years old, male, Australian, no other relevant health problems. I have read this and this.

Any help would be great, thanks.

how do I put a stake through the heart of the vampire of perfectionism?

Anonymous — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 13:00:51 -0800

How do I stop setting ridiculous expectations of myself and then either beating myself up when I don't meet them, or feeling more stressed during the process than is warranted? So I have a nasty perfectionist tendency that's ruining the fun of trying new things - I get frustrated really easily if I mess up or things don't go as easily as they should, feeling like a 5-year old in art class.

I have ADD (currently taking Adderall), but the Inattentive kind, which means that I've always had problems with following directions/processes - it takes me a bit longer, I write a lot of stuff down, forget things... so in professional life I struggle with "attention to detail." But I know I'm making things so much harder and less pleasant for myself by getting so frustrated that I'm not magically perfect. Please help me find ways to accept what I intellectually know - that learning something new or different requires a lot of trial and error, and you're never perfect on the first (or second, or third...) try.

That Boy Needs Therapy

Anonymous — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 04:06:51 -0800

I'm a male in my early twenties who has washed out of college and is looking for a mental health professional of some sort in Northern Virginia. Issues I feel are likely to come up are my (long-ago diagnosed) attention deficit disorder, depression, and some form of OCD - I have a deep and (likely irrational) fear of psychosis and other impairments of cognition. I am deeply wary of psychiatric drugs, and want to work with someone who shares my attitude toward them, but would recommend them as a last resort. So what I'm after is some sort of talk therapy, preferably with a medical doctor (as oppose to "just" a PhD). I think would prefer CBT over other modalities. Freud, Jung, Lacan and their ilk aren't for me, but anything else is fine.

For private messages: M8R-sshtxg@mailinator.com

Will taking medicine for ADHD prevent me from joining the Air Force?

pyrom — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 09:14:36 -0800

Will my short history of taking medication for ADHD prevent me from entering the military? A year and a half ago, I took myself to get tested for ADD/ADHD. My condition was diagnosed as very mild, inattentive but not hyperactive. Medication was an option, but by no means necessary.

I ended up deciding to try the drugs to see if they would help with schoolwork. After all, my mother had been diagnosed recently, my doctor advocated the drug, and hype around the disorder made it seem a likely diagnosis. I saw it as a sort of cure-all, which I really regret at this point.

I was prescribed 36mg of Concerta, which I took daily for around 9 months. It was more trouble than it was worth, didn't help my grades (which were good even without the drugs), and led me to believe that the problem was mostly in my head. It seems pretty clear now that my issues getting schoolwork done were mostly because of a lack of discipline.

After several months of frustration, I've begun to taper off the medication. So far there've been no ill effects and I plan to be completely off within a month or so.

I'm also planning on joining the Air Force. Ideally, I'd do AFROTC during college and serve a number of years afterward. Is this possible considering my history with the medication? What barriers will it pose in the application process?

Thanks so much!

Inattentive ADD and oh wow check out the skin on my toe...

hellboundforcheddar — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:08:45 -0800

If you or your child received a diagnosis of inattentive-type ADD, I have questions... (yes, I searched...) My therapist and psychiatrist recently independently concluded that it is likely that I have suffered (if you will) with undiagnosed ADD-inattentive type since childhood. We probably are not going to move forward with taking the actual diagnostic assessments because they are so expensive and I've been compensating reasonably well, and, well, I'm old. Feel free to comment if you have benefited strongly from interventions/ treatments for this in adulthood.

My 7 yr old son, however, is exhibiting much of the same traits and I am considering having him tested even though, so far, he is doing okay in school. He just finished first grade which, I think, was more accommodating of his tendencies than second, third, fourth etc.. will be.

His teacher has observed that he seems to daydream and have trouble finishing work from time to time or he works very slowly, yet he's in the higher reading and advanced math groups.

He seems to exist between two extremes of hyperfocus and/ or lack of focus. I observe a lot of this at home. He can spend hours building robots but forget that I asked him 50 times to do x, y, or z. He is constantly losing things that are hiding in plain sight, the other day he wore two pairs of underwear b/c he forgot to take the old pair off when he put on the clean pair (this happens a lot.)

I've noticed during activities like certain sports it seems as though things are happening too fast for him- he'll get in a really good play in soccer if he can see the action coming towards him (defense) but once he's "in play" he can't seem to visually/ mentally keep up with the changing action. He stops and looks confused- sort of like he's thinking "now where did that ball go now?" And then an interesting blade of grass will catch his eye... and then... huh? what? soccer?

Taken separately I realize these things seem like normal 7 yr old absentmindedness but this is the very short list and these things happen constantly. Even he has reported that sometimes when I'm talking to him it's "like a blur" or like he can't follow... and I'm not a lecturer, shouter, or rambler... we have a very close relationship. I don't henpeck him and I have most definitely not mentioned that I am concerned or that there may be a problem.

These behaviors and reports remind me of when I was a kid- constantly being yelled at/ punished for forgetting something/ not paying attention/ losing things... which, looking back, seem to be, among others (feelings of separateness, living in my head), the symptoms of ADD.

So, if you have discovered or are just discovering that your child might or does have inattentive-type ADD:

How did you arrive at this conclusion/ diagnosis?

How do you plan on handling it?

If you were diagnosed as a child- what worked for you?

I am trying to decide what and how much to observe before asking for a formal assessment. Right now it seems there is not an official need at school b/c he did okay in first grade. I do think it's possible that it may be causing social challenges- nothing too major- but it is hard form him to jump into any play that's moving too fast or has too many rules. Physically, it seems as though he's coordinated- the difficulty really seems to be mental/ reaction time/ picking up a feel for things...

sorry to go on for so long... trying to provide detail. thanks.

Should a firefighter candidate disclose ADHD?

Anonymous — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 07:00:25 -0800

I'm a candidate for my local fire department. It's a paid position. Should I disclose my ADHD? I was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I had been taking Adderall XR and just switched over to Vyvanse.
Will my diagnosis or medication keep me from being hired as a firefighter?

Measuring improvement in ADHD symptoms

[user was fined for this post] — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 13:52:13 -0800

I have begun treatment for adult ADHD. What things can I do during the next several weeks to objectively measure my progress? I've started taking Strattera, which often takes up to six weeks after reaching one's target dose to see significant results. My doctor suggested keeping a daily journal in which I record how I feel about my focus, concentration, forgetfulness and so forth.

I am doing this, but I feel the need for some strategies to measure my progress in a quantifiable way, if such a thing is even feasible. Since my attention frequently wanders, I can track discrete events like "remembered to take the trash out this week" but have trouble keeping track of things like "worked for 30 minutes without fidgeting or getting up from desk."

Any and all suggestions are welcome. The other ADHD threads have some great ideas, but they seem focus on tips for dealing with symptoms rather than measuring the effects of those symptoms on a daily basis.

Possibly relevant details:

- I'm 30 years old
- I've had the usual ADHD symptoms my entire life but have never been treated before now
- I work from home at a job done entirely by computer
- My primary goal right now is to finish my CS degree when I return to school this fall (I dropped out due to my inability to study effectively)
- I use a Windows PC, if there are software recommendations
- My wife is willing to assist with any strategies that work better with the aid of another person

Thanks in advance!

Willpower or Ritalin?

Anonymous — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 11:34:24 -0800

ADD Filter (YANMD): Willpower or Ritalin? Your anecdotes, advice, opinions, options, and facts are all welcome here. As a child, I was diagnosed with ADD. They had me on Ritalin during 4th and 5th grade. In retrospect, it worked. I remember being able to go upstairs, sit down, and do all my math homework. I loved that.

We moved, my parents got different insurance, and they no longer insisted that I take the Ritalin before school, so I stopped taking it.

Last year, a good friend of mine sat me down and had a conversation about ADD with me, and suggested that I should consider medication. He explained ADD as a chemical imbalance that should be rectified. "Do you have ADD" is something that I've heard many times over the years, and I've pretty dismissively just acknowledged that I was diagnosed with it as a child. Since that conversation, however, I have done some reading, and acknowledge that yes, I do, in fact, as an adult, have ADD.

So now, here I am. I am 26, healthy, happy. I have a regular sleeping schedule, I get from A to B by foot or bike.

I think of it as a personality trait. I feel like there are traits that are associated with ADD that folks associate with me. For instance, my short attention span: like the way I skip a conversation from one topic to the next. I feel like, if I'm bored with the conversation, or if the topics relate in my head, why not? When folks say I'm "unique", I feel like this is one of my traits that they are referring to. ("but we're all unique." "no, no. You're unique differently.")

School.
I took some years off before I went to college, for traveling and adventures and such, and now I'm in school. I did fine at my community college, it was pretty much just like high school, and I got my A.A. with an honorable mention. Now I've spent a year at a quality university on a quarter system, and my grades have dropped dramatically. This trouble I have with focusing, it has been called out.

My usual tactics aren't enough. I give myself enough time to get things done, I keep my days free enough. So mostly I spend a lot of time saying "I'm going to do homework" and failing to get it done. I've got the organization part down. I keep everything in one notebook so that nothing gets lost (papers that accumulate throughout the quarter are admittedly everywhere by the end, but I can usually find what I need, and the notes stay in one place), and Google Calendar has been incredibly useful for sending me email reminders to let me know when my homework is coming up due.

It's not enough, though. There comes a point where one must sit down and focus. Everyone else that I know, when they devote long chunks of time to sitting down and studying, they sit down and they study. Me? I sit down, and I doodle. Or I write, but not about homework. Or I voraciously browse MetaFilter, at least until I turn the Internet off. Then I work on it for ten minutes, feel victorious after accomplishing a sentence or a paragraph or an idea, and wander off to feed myself or find some other distraction. And I hate a completely sterile environment. There has to be, at a minimum, food, and room to sprawl. I work really really well when there are people with me who are concentrating on their own work, and who I can chat with briefly, and then we both go back to our own thing, but even in those instances, they manage to accomplish thrice as much, for my thoughts, they wander. That sort of study buddy is hard to come by, and not a practical solution.

I really want to keep doing it my way. I want to struggle through school on my own. It's really hard for me to be getting these grades, but I try not to let it get me down, and mostly I'm successful in that.

Here's the thing. I want to be able to go to grad school. In order to get into one of the two grad school programs I am interested in, I need a 3.0 GPA for my last two years of school. Right now I'm struggling to stay above a 2.0. I plan to stay an extra year so that I can bring my grades up, but I need to be changing my habits right now. And I'm practically at my wit's end. (P.S. I enjoy going to school.)

I'm pretty biased against 'fixing' problems with medication. It doesn't seem like a long-term solution. Especially since, according to Wikipedia, Ritalin is pretty similar to Cocaine, and has a list of side-effects a mile long.

What am I missing? The Internet (and my friend last year) say it isn't a matter of willpower, it's a matter of chemistry. Am I wrong in trying to willpower my way through this? If Ritalin, why is that your opinion? If willpower, what new tactics do you suggest I take?

I plan to go talk to a school doctor, but I would like to have sorted out my own ideas and opinions better before I go. Thanks for your help!

Stop Gmail auto-adding to my contacts list?

wastelands — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 08:20:45 -0800

Gmail, can you please stop automatically adding to my contacts list!? How do I get Gmail to stop adding every single person I email -- even one-off crap -- to my contacts list? It bugs me because those addresses show up in the keyboard address completion when I'm adding contacts to a new email. I find myself regularly pruning the All Contacts list. Even stuff that's NOT in any contacts list will auto-complete when I'm typing in the To/CC/BCC fields.

I absolutely love Gmail, but this feature drives me nuts. I've looked through Settings, nothing. I've googled for help, no real luck.

MeFi to the rescue?