29 posts tagged with abusive.
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Getting rid of toxic roommate when "GTFO" isn't as easy as it sounds?

TL;DR: How do you get rid of a toxic roommate when they literally have nowhere to go, no one else willing to take them in, and no money to find a place of their own? IF it gets ugly, violent, I'll call my friend who lives in the complex and get help with immediate removal... but I don't want to make this guy homeless unless he becomes a real threat. I'm trying to think of clear ways to communicate boundaries and deadlines, such as giving X amount of time to save up deposits for a place of his own now that he has a job again. That's the kind of advice I need please. [more inside]
posted by myShanon on Aug 17, 2016 - 64 answers

How do I heal from an abusive relationship with a child involved?

[Trigger Warning] I have a child with someone I consider my abuser. How do I navigate the situation when having a mediator isn't possible? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Aug 7, 2016 - 25 answers

Should you disown a narcissistic parent?

What if your abusive parent is not classically abusive (hitting, molestation, explosive anger) but is relentlessly narcissistic, negligent, exploitative and manipulative? Father's Day is coming up in a couple of months; should I just not send that card and silently pull away? I've already not given him my new number so this would be the last nail in the coffin. [more inside]
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis on May 8, 2016 - 38 answers

Formerly abusive parents who are now elderly and wanting forgiveness

Growing up, my family was squarely middle class. But that didn’t make it easy. My father was an alcoholic with a vicious temper. He was incredibly emotionally abusive, and on occasion, he was physically abusive. Think “The Great Santini”, minus the military elements. And minus the supportive mother. My mother – whom my father abused just as much as he did us – put up with every inch of it. What’s more, she basically took it out on us children, keeping herself cold and distant while never once acknowledging his faults. Now they’re dying, and man, are the guilt trips heavy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 13, 2016 - 60 answers

Resources for surviving emotional abuse

I'm seeking techniques, advice and resources on how to protect oneself in an abusive relationship. [more inside]
posted by Les Socks Du Mal on May 6, 2015 - 14 answers

How can I navigate a very challenging living situation?

My parents are controlling, manipulative, and verbally abusive, but I cannot afford to leave. What are my options? [more inside]
posted by summertimesadness1988 on Apr 17, 2015 - 35 answers

How does a person change his relationship with toxic parents?

I don't want to be around my parents, but my guilt keeps me in contact with them. How can I get to a place where I don't feel bad about not interacting with them unless it's on my terms? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Sep 24, 2014 - 19 answers

How can I help a friend in an abusive relationship that she almost left?

My best friend has been seeing someone for about 7-8 months now. Initially, he seemed very nice and friendly. However, as the months have gone by he's turned out to not be right for her. To make things worse, she's being emotionally abused by him on a rather subtle level, to the point where several times she's been crying while talking to me about him. A couple of weeks ago almost broke up with him after talking with me about recent problem, where I got fed up with the crap she was dealing with and told her she should end it. Since I know she tends to listen to me and to trust my thoughts, should I make a bigger effort to convince her to leave this guy? [more inside]
posted by hytrack on Feb 15, 2014 - 22 answers

Abusive family seems to know where I live. What do I do?

My abusive mom that I cut off ties with (along with the rest of my abusive family) emailed me a few days ago and seems to know where I moved to. She said that she tells everyone back home where I moved to. She made it sound like she just guessed it, but I find it highly unlikely. If it wasn't just a guess, I don't know how they found out (since I haven't contacted them since arriving in my new city) or how much they know. Am I in danger? Should I move? What do I do? Please help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 23, 2013 - 41 answers

Should I cool it with my long distance friend until he leaves his girlfriend?

Divorce from abusive ex almost final, unexpectedly slept with a friend. We have loads in common but he's not (yet?) available. Cool it, or enjoy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 17, 2012 - 31 answers

Abusive consultant pushes my buttons

How do I remove or minimize the menace of an abusive person who makes me see red? [more inside]
posted by cartoonella on May 26, 2012 - 23 answers

Abusive family found me by tracking my phone

I moved into a new area, but then I didn't turn off my old cellphone (that my family got me) because my sister was sending me abusive messages and I wanted to collect them as proof just in case I use it in court, and now I got a message that said that I got tracked with the verizon Family Locator (since they were the owner of my old cellphone's account). I didn't even know such thing existed nor thought that my family would actually use that on me. I am terrified because now they know my location, they can just come down here. They were threatening to come over, hire a private cop and a private investigator, and etcetera for days. I am scared to go out the house. I feel messed up. It's already been a hectic week because I was moving my items (without my own car), going to job interviews, dragging groceries, etc... I don't want to burden my new roommates either.. what a shitty week. I tried so hard to find a safe place where no one can find me. I don't know what to do, feel so stupid. I know where the court is, should I just get the restraining order now? Even though my family knows my exact where about. [more inside]
posted by kopi on May 10, 2012 - 58 answers

What advice would help this family?

What can I do to help my mother and siblings cope with an abusive parent? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 5, 2012 - 5 answers

Addressing the elephant in the room

Has anyone written an honest letter to an abusive parent and actually sent it? [more inside]
posted by side effect on Jan 26, 2012 - 41 answers

stepmom broke up with me

How can I emotionally begin to handle the end of my relationship with my ex-stepmother? This is the end of a very tangled family situation and I have no idea how to deal with it. I feel terrible. [more inside]
posted by athenadanae on Jan 11, 2012 - 35 answers

Should I file a restraining order against my ex?

Considering a restraining order against an ex, but I have a lot of questions about the logistics and just generally whether it's going to make the situation better or worse. For example, I don't think he knows where I live- so how would it even work? Many more questions inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 26, 2011 - 23 answers

How can I reduce visits from my parents?

I was overjoyed to move several hundred miles away from my parents. Recently, they've decided they want to spend more time with family, and as of this week they'll have driven to see us three times in a year with little to no notice. Is there any reasonably graceful way to discourage/reduce these visits? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2011 - 42 answers

Resources on complicated grief

Where can I find resources on complicated grief, especially with regard to grieving something that never was? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 8, 2011 - 6 answers

Restraining Order Music

I'm looking for songs from the vantage point of a possessive/threatening lover (Don't even think about breaking up with/cheating on me songs). [more inside]
posted by dgaicun on Mar 24, 2011 - 53 answers

How do I deal with a mother who has been in and out of an abusive relationship for years?

How do I deal with a mother who has been in and out of an abusive relationship for years? She'll leave him for a few months, but always goes back. Can or will this ever stop? And how to I support her while not condoning her behavior? [more inside]
posted by Delfena on Feb 6, 2011 - 9 answers

How do you start over at 35?

Question: Trying to rebuild after leaving an abusive relationship; how can I recover my lost sense of self, while facing a competitive job market? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 9, 2011 - 8 answers

Just leave me alone!

How can I get my ex to stop harassing me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2010 - 30 answers

How to deal with abusive friend

I have an alcoholic friend whose behavior is getting increasingly disturbing and abusive. He sent me a frightening e-mail today and I'm scared and not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2010 - 32 answers

What do I say if/when she goes back to the man who might kill her?

My friend's on-again/off-again nonstop crazy drama relationship just turned physically abusive six days ago. Now they are separated, again, and hopefully for good. I have reason to believe that the separation won't last, and I don't know how I could or should deal with that. Please help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2009 - 13 answers

Recovering from abuse, way past the due date

It's taking me a really really long time to get over an abusive relationship. I keep thinking I've made huges strides and then I realize how far from normal my feelings and behaviour are. I know it's a matter of healing but I could do with advice on helping it along. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2008 - 17 answers

Is there a situation when its good to give into an aggressive man?

Is there a situation when its good to give into an aggressive man? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 1, 2008 - 34 answers

Is my male friend in an abusive relationship?

I'm worried that my male friend might be in some sort of abusive relationship. He's my best friend and seems to have been in a "spend all time with new GF and not call or visit friends" mode for 3 months, and we are all far past the teenage years. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 22, 2008 - 16 answers

How to cope with an abusive and violent brother?

Domestic violence filter : Please help me to cope with my abusive und violent brother. My twin brother gains satisfaction from ruining my life. What shall I do? (lengthy explanation) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 30, 2007 - 38 answers

I need information about how to parent when raised by abusive parents.

I was raised by an abusive father. Now in my early 30's I am looking ahead to the future when I may become a father. I am determined not to recreate the family environment I grew up in but know how these things sometimes turn out -- that people determined not to recreate something sometimes wind up doing so in an unforseen manner. I was in therapy for 2 years in my 20's to work on the issues but therapy is not an option now because of money. I have worked hard not to be my father, but part of me is afraid that I will wind up being like him as a parent. (In particular, I worry about being a father to a son because of my history). I am looking for information about the father-son relationship as well as information about how to be a good parent when you have a background like mine. Please offer advice, books, suggestions - anything that can help.
posted by anonymous on Feb 13, 2005 - 16 answers

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