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I’m concerned my son’s nanny may have hit him – how can I tell for sure?

My four year old alleges our new nanny called him, “stupid” and hit him. He is generally a reliable narrator, but he is only four. How do I find out for sure? Apologies in advance for the copious details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2009 - 57 answers

How can I help my sister deal with abuse at the hands of our brother?

I recently discovered my brother was sexually abusing my sister and how the hell do I deal with this over Thanksgiving weekend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2009 - 38 answers


So my grandfather is really sick and I haven't seen him in four years. Up until I turned eleven or twelve, our relationship was great. After that, not so much. Long, sorry. [more inside]
posted by Tha Race Card on Nov 23, 2009 - 25 answers

Is it okay to lie to your parents to avoid seeing them on the holidays?

How can I handle my feelings for my parents during this holiday season? [more inside]
posted by bananaskin on Nov 1, 2009 - 32 answers

Tell me about the treatment of abuse in adults.

What are some of the effects of long term child abuse? What methods are used to help adults recovers from the effects of said child abuse? [more inside]
posted by Brandon Blatcher on Oct 28, 2009 - 22 answers

How do I sue an abusive step-parent?

How does an adult find a lawyer to sue an abusive step-parent more than a decade after the fact? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 15, 2009 - 7 answers

Help with touchy situation

I have moved back to my home town after about ten years. Throughout those years, an ex-boyfriend has been slandering me to old friends, colleagues, etc. I haven’t been in touch with a lot of these people and simply didn’t want to talk about the situation, so I didn’t. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2009 - 14 answers

Upcoming trial

How can i get through this when i have nobody to relate to? [more inside]
posted by xopaigexo on Sep 24, 2009 - 19 answers

Help me ask for help.

I have a traumatic past and a partner who wants to be supportive, but I don't know how to ask for support! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2009 - 14 answers

Is my friend's fiance a domestic abuser? If so, now what?

How can I tell if my friend's fiance is an abuser and if he is, what can I do to help her realize she needs to leave him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2009 - 29 answers

Facebook friends with past abuser

Facebook's forcing me to deal with a family rift. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2009 - 22 answers

PTSD/EMDR questions

I'm a 27 year old female dealing with PTSD from extreme childhood abuse and psychoanalysis is not working. I've read previous AskMe questions, but would like more feedback from people who have had EMDR therapy. I'm also wondering if anyone has any advice on mild dissociation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2009 - 19 answers

Low cost or pro bono legal aid for domestic violence / abuse victims in California?

My friend and her ex-boyfriend got in a fight, he got violent and beat her up pretty bad. She got in the car with their baby and fled cross-country to stay with her parents. There is a hearing next month to determine custody of the child, and she doesn't want to lose the kid to what is likely going to be an abusive father. Lawyer up, right? Problem is, not a lot of money. Can you point me to any organizations in California that provide pro-bono / sliding-scale / low-cost legal aid services for abused women? [more inside]
posted by sergeant sandwich on Jun 28, 2009 - 10 answers

How prevalent are puppy mills?

Have any major pets stores (petland, petco, ....) been linked directly to puppy mills? [more inside]
posted by isopropyl on Jun 23, 2009 - 8 answers

I hate the idea of help - what now?

Sexual abuse and a hatred of therapy – what now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2009 - 43 answers

Stranger in Dire Straits

I just passed a young woman walking slowly down the street, barefoot, crying, with two black eyes. [more inside]
posted by granted on Apr 20, 2009 - 44 answers

How should I deal with my Alzheimer's father?

How should I deal with my Alzheimer's father? I have had problems with my father going back ages. He has been verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive to not only me, but my sibling and mother as well. I had almost convinced my mom to leave him when he got Alzheimer's, and now we're stuck caring for him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2009 - 18 answers

FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: Check this out! LOL

Should I try to take back our Exchange server from the inappropriate uses? [more inside]
posted by Liver on Apr 20, 2009 - 38 answers

What is the purpose of this livejournal bot?

What mischief is this LiveJournal bot up to? [more inside]
posted by anonymisc on Apr 12, 2009 - 6 answers

When to share the baggage? When to keep it to yourself?

Should I tell my boyfriend about past abuse? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2009 - 24 answers

Can animal abuse be a 1 time thing?

I came home unexpectedly yesterday to discover my fiance kicking our beloved dog. I am not sure how to proceed. Please help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2009 - 107 answers

How do you get closure about something you're not sure even happened?

I may have been abused as a child, but I'll never know for sure. How can I stop worrying about it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2009 - 21 answers

Sister molested, police won't help. What can I do?

My sister was molested, and the authorities haven't done a thing. Is there anything I can do to move this along? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2009 - 18 answers

champagne abuse

How badly can a bottle of champagne be abused before it becomes undrinkable? [more inside]
posted by kristymcj on Jan 9, 2009 - 10 answers

Abusive and Ill?

I know that survivors of abuse often develop mental disorders. But what disorders/illnesses are associated with being abusive? [more inside]
posted by acidic on Dec 24, 2008 - 20 answers

Books On Wives Abused As Children

Asking for a patron: self-help books about coping with a spouse's NON-SEXUAL abuse as a child? [more inside]
posted by Rykey on Dec 21, 2008 - 2 answers

Workplace Harassment

How do I respond to a physical threat from my supervisor? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2008 - 27 answers


Do (physically) abusive people ever change their ways? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2008 - 45 answers

Recovering from abuse, way past the due date

It's taking me a really really long time to get over an abusive relationship. I keep thinking I've made huges strides and then I realize how far from normal my feelings and behaviour are. I know it's a matter of healing but I could do with advice on helping it along. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 11, 2008 - 17 answers

Unwelcome flashbacks

My past experiences are coloring my perception of the present, my personal life is crashing into my professional life, help me make it stop. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 5, 2008 - 17 answers

How do I stop being controlling towards my husband?

How do I stop being controlling towards my husband? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 3, 2008 - 24 answers

I think my neighbour is being abused. What should I do?

I think that my downstairs neighbour is being abused by her partner. I want to help her. But I'm not sure of the facts - I have no evidence. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by finding.perdita on Nov 28, 2008 - 29 answers

How do we deal with an abusive brother-in-law after my sister decides to take him back?

My brother-in-law's domestic abuse is tearing my family apart and I really don't know what to do or how to handle the situation anymore. I need some advice. [more inside]
posted by csimpkins on Nov 26, 2008 - 54 answers

Elder abuse

Someone dear to me began work yesterday as the most junior of junior floor scrubbers at a big London NHS hospital. She is horrified and disgusted to find that the patients are abused by the staff. What should she do? [more inside]
posted by anadem on Nov 10, 2008 - 15 answers

How do deal with being falsely accused of molesting a child?

A friend of mine's husband has been accused of molesting 13-year-old girl, my friend's sister. What is his & his family's best course of action? [more inside]
posted by Niomi on Nov 5, 2008 - 17 answers

Abuse - Does it send out silent signals?

If children are sponges and caretakers have issues what are the kids absorbing? [more inside]
posted by watercarrier on Oct 3, 2008 - 7 answers

What do you think I should do?

Messy housing situation, tenant is manipulating landlord's poor English skills and profiting. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 17, 2008 - 8 answers

How do I protect a sweet old person who may need a legal guardian?

Does anyone here have any experience with nominations for conservatorship in the state of California, either as a potential conservator, an attorney, social worker, psychiatrist or anyone else who plays a role in the process? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2008 - 2 answers

How do we support our abused friend and her daughter?

Last night, a close friend of ours was the victim of a domestic dispute. Her live-in boyfriend became convinced of infidelity in the relationship (a relationship that was headed to the dumps anyway), came back to their apartment, violently pulled her off of the couch screamed at her and repeatedly punched her in the stomach. Police were called, no charges filed (Red flags here). Now she and the daughter are staying with us, but are afraid to return home. Where do we go from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2008 - 10 answers

Is it healthy to reenact childhood discipline as an adult?

Some of the disciplinary acts I endured as a child and teenager have spilled over into my adult sex life. Is this a healthy thing to encourage, or should I avoid these acts altogether? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2008 - 16 answers

How can we help abused kids?

How can I help stop child abuse, other than writing a check? [more inside]
posted by middleclasstool on Aug 28, 2008 - 19 answers

My Dawg vs Dog

I have friends that seem to neglect a dog almost to the point of abuse. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by hal_c_on on Jul 4, 2008 - 49 answers

Please help me help my friend.

My friend has just confided that her new husband is often verbally abusive, and occasionally physically abusive. I honestly don't know how to help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 1, 2008 - 35 answers

Overcoming everything to start anew

TraumaFilter: what worked for you in overcoming PTSD, anxiety, depression? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 23, 2008 - 23 answers

How can I get rent back from a room I need to leave

Scary roommate situation. I want to leave and I'm trying to figure out if I have any way of getting my money back, which I really need to help me get another room. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2008 - 32 answers

I need to help find a private eye (and don't know how)

How Does one go about finding a really top notch Private Investigator? [more inside]
posted by snsranch on May 29, 2008 - 11 answers

What sort of neighbor to be?

This morning, my neighbors down the hall had an extended, high-volume fight. It frightened me in its intensity and content. I called the cops and slipped a note under the door when the aggressor left. Is there anything else I can or should do? [more inside]
posted by minervous on Apr 16, 2008 - 37 answers

Disservice to Dog?

To whom do I report suspected abuse of a service dog? [more inside]
posted by dogmom on Mar 13, 2008 - 9 answers

We won't give you a scholarship until you're good and traumatized.

Due to some bizarre circumstances, my college is forcing me to dig up some things from my past I'd thought I'd put behind me and would much, much sooner forget. How do I deal? [more inside]
posted by InnocentBystander on Jan 30, 2008 - 41 answers

child abuse and the statute of limitations

Questions about child abuse and the statute of limitations (unpleasant details inside) [more inside]
posted by prk14 on Jan 24, 2008 - 19 answers

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