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324 posts tagged with abuse.
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Having trouble figuring out if I'm overreacting to my husband grabbing my arm

Help me figure out if this is a relationship dealbreaker-- my husband recently dragged me out of my chair, against my will. [more inside]
posted by DianaV on Nov 26, 2011 - 66 answers

How did you tell others you were in an abusive relationship?

I realized last night that I need to get out of my emotionally abusive marriage. I'm really scared for a lot of reasons. For those of you who have been in my shoes, how did you "come out" to others about your situation? How did you cope with people who told you you brought it on yourself? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 9, 2011 - 32 answers

Deliberately or otherwise, this person is lying about us

What do you do with a passive-aggressive, anonymous busybody neighbor? [more inside]
posted by The Winsome Parker Lewis on Oct 20, 2011 - 40 answers

History of Abuse

I went away to boarding school in 1993/4. During 1993, a teacher there who was sexually inappropriate. I sort of lost track of him, but found out today he is now the Head Director of a school, and on the board of the Assoc. of International School Heads, It was a long time ago, and I cannot prove anything, and do not want to go in guns half cocked, but I feel like I should say something. What are best practices here?
posted by anonymous on Oct 12, 2011 - 23 answers

How can I let go of past abuse?

Is it possible to let go of past injuries? My parents were abusive when I was growing up (both physically and emotionally) and I have been dealing with depression and anxiety ever since, with medication and therapy. Now, though, they have changed (really), and I'm trying to figure out how to let go of what happened and have a good relationship with the people they are now. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 7, 2011 - 16 answers

Stare down the emotional pit or look elsewhere?

How do you deal with difficult family situations without imploding? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 30, 2011 - 8 answers

How I should feel about my dad having a tumor?

My dad was an angry person throughout my life. He would throw temper tantrums to everyone else in the household. My mom would lose friends due to his behaviour. He has accused my mom of cheating, he makes decisions without listening to her and then throws temper tantrums when my mom tries to resist, and he has accused my mom of being lazy during times when she was the only one working. Neither my brother or I have much respect for him anymore, but we still love our mom. Mom phoned yesterday telling my dad has testicular cancer and is getting surgery for it. I'm coming in to visit at my mom's request. But she's going to try to make me go through the motions of pretending we're a healthy family. Am I wrong to not have strong mourning feelings towards my dad's cancer?
posted by DetriusXii on Sep 27, 2011 - 15 answers

Protection From Abuse againdt a Blogspot Writer.

I am a woman. A man I have a court-ordered PFA (Protection From Abuse) against started a blogspot.com page about me using MYNAME.blogspot.com to write viscous lies about me and my underage son. The blogspot page is, of course, the #1 result on google when googling my name. He is not impersonating me, but he is harassing me and my family. What can I do now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2011 - 25 answers

Crazy family history...how do I avoid passing it on?

How do I break the cycle of abuse in my family and make a stable, happy and safe environment for my own (future) family? ( [more inside]
posted by snowysoul on Sep 23, 2011 - 21 answers

How to help my abused student?

One of my university students is being physically, mentally and emotionally abused by their parents and has asked me for help. What can/should I do as their teacher? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2011 - 13 answers

How to respond to a family vacation turned violent domestic incident?

My family just spent a week with my wife's brother and his family. Six kids, four adults, one week in their house. It was for the most part uneventful. In fact, it was great. We're now from the big city, they're from the suburbs in the South. We ate BBQ, fished, shot guns, and drank beer, all things we aren't able to do where we normally live. Then, the last night, the brother got violent. Started picking a fight that we couldn't stop, accusing us of mocking him and his family and wife. There was NO way to diffuse it. I can't tell you how much we tried to be solicitous. He ended up hitting my wife on the arm and shoving me, we ran out of the house in the middle of the night grabbing clothes and kids and stayed in a hotel. It's been a few days and my wife and I are now at her mom's house 30 minutes away - she doesn't seem to know what happened. Do we tell her? Do we report the incident to the police? How do I set parameters around ever seeing each other again (such as to go see a counselor)? This doesn't seem to be a normal pattern for him, but something in his relationship with his sister really, really set him off. I don't want to be unforgiving - I just can't predict if that firestorm could appear again and honestly that night i feared for my life and the lives of my wife and kids - so how do we move on from here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2011 - 40 answers

Is there a reason for my inability to connect with guys and what can I do to be more at ease with them?

I’ve been trying to figure out why I can’t communicate with guys at a more personal level. I’m wondering if it’s just shyness or something more. [more inside]
posted by the borneo kid on Sep 1, 2011 - 24 answers

Therapist in PDX specializing in treatment of child abuse victims?

Where in Portland, Oregon can I find a female therapist specializing in treating victims of long-term abuse, starting from early childhood? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 10, 2011 - 4 answers

Resources on complicated grief

Where can I find resources on complicated grief, especially with regard to grieving something that never was? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 8, 2011 - 6 answers

Is there hope for my brother?

Mentally ill brother is getting worse...and worse...and worse. What are our options? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2011 - 12 answers

I'd like to not feel crazy anymore, but I'm scared of the doctor.

I suffer from severe anxiety and PTSD stemming from an abusive childhood. I have frequent panic attacks, flashbacks, and bouts of derealization that are terrifying to me. I'm going to see a psychiatrist soon, and I'd like to know what to expect. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2011 - 10 answers

Help me identify abusive relationship

Please help me learn how to identify an emotionally/mentally abusive relationship. I am not sure if myne has always been one, or is slowly turning into one, or is not one. [more inside]
posted by amacph10 on Jun 15, 2011 - 137 answers

What are some of the best self-help books you read after leaving an abusive relationship?

What are some of the best self-help books you read after leaving an abusive relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2011 - 14 answers

What do I call this?

Some things happened to me when I was a child and I'm not sure what to call them but I think they were abusive? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2011 - 20 answers

OMG get me out of here.

Please recommend resources to avoid insanity in a family business. [more inside]
posted by motsque on Jun 3, 2011 - 11 answers

I want the babe to be safe.

Neighbor behavior filter: I hear my neighbor's baby (definitely a baby) crying. I hear the sound of a man yelling things like "shut up" or "stop crying". And then I hear the sound of a smack. This makes me feel horrified. But is it any of my business to try to help? [more inside]
posted by your mom's a sock puppet on May 25, 2011 - 40 answers

I've got a friend in a bad situation. How can she get out?

A good friend of mine - I'll refer to her as E - is living in a negative situation that she's ready to get out of. Short version: she's living with and basically looking after a toxic, alcoholic parent. E's done all she can, and it's time to leave. But there are some issues holding her back. How can she address these? Details below. [more inside]
posted by katillathehun on May 10, 2011 - 14 answers

Help me move forward from an emotionally tramatic year....

How can I restore my mental health/sanity after one stressful hell of a year? Additionally, any suggestions for starting to heal as a surviour of emotional abuse by a parent? [more inside]
posted by snowysoul on May 9, 2011 - 16 answers

Thriving as an adult after a dysfunctional authoritarian childhood?

Resources for adults who have trouble living day to day after growing up in an authoritative family in which abuse was present? [more inside]
posted by GEB's fun world on May 7, 2011 - 6 answers

How to change my I'm not lovable belief system?!? Help me!!

How can I fix myself so I can attract and believe in a healthy relationship is out there for me? I have great friends, I'm well-liked, I have a great career and have made tons of progress working on myself over the last ten years to make sure I don't adopt the patterns of my family of origin. I want a relationship but I still keep falling into the pattern of "I'll never meet anyone for me" or thinking that I'm meant to be alone AND I WANT TO STOP THIS BS ALREADY! Help/ideas please! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2011 - 8 answers

Questions to ask about entering a psychiatric facility

My spouse will soon be voluntarily entering a psychiatric facility in order to deal with some trauma from sexual and physical abuse when they were a child. I have some questions I hope you can help answer. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2011 - 10 answers

Help me help my neighbors dog!

Is there anything I can do to help this dog? [more inside]
posted by iabide79 on Feb 26, 2011 - 20 answers

Help me bounce back from an emotionally abusive relationship.

I just left an emotionally abusive relationship. And I feel... off. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 23, 2011 - 24 answers

Chaining Up A Dog--How Can I Stop This?

My parents have a guard dog that they chain up, all day and all night. How do I stop this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2011 - 30 answers

Evidence-based donations

What organizations deserve my money to prevent child abuse and ameliorate the consequences? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2011 - 9 answers

Tell me about a study that links kindness and affinity.

We know that an abuser's contempt for his victim increases, the more he abuses her, in a vicious feedback loop. Are you aware of any studies suggesting the converse, that when I treat someone with kindness, my affinity increases, in a virtuous circle?
posted by markcmyers on Jan 13, 2011 - 5 answers

How do I survive surviving?

I'm a childhood sexual abuse survivor who is not really surviving right now. I need help with a whole bunch of things, and after reading this, I decided I'd query AskMe to see what resources are available. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2011 - 45 answers

Please recommend a therapist

I'm looking for recommendations for a gay/gay-friendly therapist in the Northern Virginia area who has experience with alcohol abuse and alcoholism. I'm attending AA meetings to help with the continuing sobriety, but I really think I would benefit from some additional therapy. Thank you. (The gay/gay-friendly is in there because I don't want any chance of homophobia or blaming my problems on being gay)
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2011 - 2 answers

Help before it gets bloody.

Worried about elderly father... [more inside]
posted by wandering_not_lost on Jan 3, 2011 - 11 answers

Stats on men who are falsely accused?

Are there any statistics regarding the number of men who work in childcare and are falsely accused of abusing the children in their care? [more inside]
posted by Jairus on Dec 24, 2010 - 5 answers

Should I say something about this strange situation? Is it even strange?

What do to about a child in a potentially abusive situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 22, 2010 - 17 answers

How common is physical abuse in the workplace?

How common is physical abuse in the workplace? I had a boss who hit me a few years ago and I was talking to a friend recently and she said the same thing happened to her. Naturally, this made me curious as I thought physical abuse was relatively rare in the workplace compared to emotional.
posted by jihaan on Nov 23, 2010 - 41 answers

My father's religious and cultural beliefs, & my facebook account

A fundy Muslim father (and his extended family) with strong religious & cultural beliefs vs. his adult daughter's facebook account. How do I reconcile this? [more inside]
posted by overyourhead on Nov 22, 2010 - 96 answers

Can therapy help me?

I'm a well-adjusted person plagued now by anger and disappointment re: her absentee father. Should I pursue therapy, or go about this a different route? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2010 - 17 answers

Options for abused 16-year-old

My sister's friend's parents are abusing her and her younger brother. What are the girl's options? She's 16. Could she be emancipated without the courts putting her brother into foster care or with a potentially abusive uncle? [more inside]
posted by randomname25 on Nov 2, 2010 - 27 answers

can I get paid?

Legalfilter! My work was taken advantage of - I interned/trained for a small business but wasn't paid for any time. I asked for things to be made right, but was told to shove it. Do I go to court? [more inside]
posted by roygbv on Oct 30, 2010 - 26 answers

Abusers.

Grandmother in a nursing home. Elderly grandfather caring for her and denying help from others. Grandma not getting the care she needs. What can we do? [more inside]
posted by blackcatcuriouser on Oct 29, 2010 - 9 answers

Please help me manage my obsessive thoughts

Why do my obsessive thoughts focus so much on my relationship, and what can I do to manage them? After living through years of sexual abuse as a child and teen, followed by a severely unhealthy relationship with an older man soon there after, I've actually found someone with whom I have potential to build something that could be really great. The trouble is that my brain is trying incredibly hard to sabotage this relationship, despite my best efforts to control it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2010 - 18 answers

How does one identify emotional issues related to substance abuse/ depression?

Because: 1) of depression and 2) I got into relationship trouble (with my spouse) because of occasional binge drinking--- I've have had no alcohol for about 7 weeks. I've been on a mild dose of an antidepressant almost the whole time and feel a low-level, but constant, state of mild depression- kind of "zombie-like." I was hoping getting alcohol off the table would reveal "emotional issues" as to why I've enjoyed binging , but that really hasn't happened, even with therapy (about 7-8 sessions - we've just kicked around painful events that probably most people have encountered one way or another.) Soooooo, the question is: How does one define or identify "emotional issues" related to substance abuse and/or depression? (beyond therapy, eliminating substances)
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2010 - 13 answers

My brother is abusing his girlfriend, and I don't know what to do.

My brother is emotionally abusing his girlfriend. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2010 - 44 answers

How would you react to this?

How would you react if your long-term boyfriend/girlfriend told you they have a past history of extensive physical, sexual, and emotional abuse? Or do you say anything at all? Relevant details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 19, 2010 - 31 answers

Help me to be of good help!

I'm about to begin volunteering at a shelter for battered women and their children. The shelter also operates a 24/7 crisis line for women who have suffered from abuse and violence, including sexual assault. What should I know before I start? How should I prepare? What was your experience like? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 9, 2010 - 21 answers

Should I Call Child Protective Services?

I have a reasonable suspicion that a friend is abusing her two-year-old son. This same friend is also pregnant with her second child. I have been observing her behavior for several months now and I am as sure as I can be without direct proof that she is harming both of her children. I know that calling Child Protective Services is a HUGE deal, but I am generally very concerned about the health and safety of these kids. Please help me make the most difficult decision of my life thus far. Should I call Child Protective Services? Yes, I am a parent myself and so yes, I know that if I am wrong, that it would be life shattering. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2010 - 79 answers

A good book explaining parental abuse and a child's view of one self?

I need help UNDERSTANDING something. How does one emotional and physical abuse as a child contribute to one's basic feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem? Any specific book recommendations on the subject? [more inside]
posted by learninguntilidie on Aug 31, 2010 - 18 answers

Why is one of these things not like the others?

Why did the "Twisted girl throwing puppies in a river" video generate such global outrage and attention, when other videos of violence towards animals usually don't? What was different about this video? [more inside]
posted by Ashley801 on Aug 31, 2010 - 39 answers

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