Is a man who pretends to be friends with a woman when he is actually interested in more than friendship doing something shady? Should said woman (myself) drop him as a friend or give him a chance to adjust? He’s a good friend and generally a positive, interesting and charming friend to have (smart, insightful, witty, capable of deep conversation, trustworthy with secrets, understanding…). I’m simply not interested in dating him (for many reasons, the most glaring of which is that he’s sexist in subtle ways that I couldn’t tolerate in a partner), but I value and love his friendship and conversation. I do not want to date him, ever. I don’t know if I should salvage our friendship or let it go, for his sake and mine...I've included the details below but I think this summary captures what I am trying to intellectually and emotionally figure out. [more inside]
posted by grassbottles on Feb 28, 2013 - 54 answers

How do I deal with being a platonic relationship? [more inside]
posted by DuchessProzac on May 18, 2012 - 15 answers

How can I fix myself so I can attract and believe in a healthy relationship is out there for me? I have great friends, I'm well-liked, I have a great career and have made tons of progress working on myself over the last ten years to make sure I don't adopt the patterns of my family of origin. I want a relationship but I still keep falling into the pattern of "I'll never meet anyone for me" or thinking that I'm meant to be alone AND I WANT TO STOP THIS BS ALREADY! Help/ideas please! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 7, 2011 - 8 answers

Why do my obsessive thoughts focus so much on my relationship, and what can I do to manage them? After living through years of sexual abuse as a child and teen, followed by a severely unhealthy relationship with an older man soon there after, I've actually found someone with whom I have potential to build something that could be really great. The trouble is that my brain is trying incredibly hard to sabotage this relationship, despite my best efforts to control it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2010 - 18 answers

How do I stop feeling so mercenary and unconsenting in my relationships? Right now my issue is primarily in romantic situations. I think that I know why I'm like this and have figured it all out mentally, but I need some practical strategies for avoiding situations that trigger my weirdness. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2010 - 10 answers