I am having a very difficult time dealing with PTSD, especially as it relates to having close relationships with men. I am in my early 40's and for most of my life I didn't realize why I had such a hard time being able to trust others and allow myself to get close to people. Over the past couple of years, I was diagnosed with PTSD stemming from emotional, verbal, and physical abuse during my childhood. I have to say that it was good to discover why I have been screwed up emotionally for so long. At the same time, I am able to see that the kind of men I tend to gravitate toward are either abusive or emotionally not present (just like my parents). I have been in therapy ever since my diagnosis, and am working on building my self-esteem too. I am an awesome woman with a lot to offer and I have come a long way over the years. I can't seem to stop attracting men who hurt me in some way. I want to find a life partner and I know that I deserve to be in a loving and nurturing relationship. But love equals pain even after years of therapy and working on myself. Is there life after PTSD and how do I break this cycle? How can I find a man who loves me for me and wants to be supportive, PTSD and all? Thanks.
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