393 posts tagged with abuse.
Displaying 1 through 50 of 393. Subscribe:

How to have an online presence when I don't want family to find me?

I don't want to give my family any info on where I am, what I'm doing, nothing. How can I do this while also have an online presence to grow in my career? [more inside]
posted by galaxypeachtea on Aug 31, 2016 - 21 answers

Helping a teenager escape abusive finances

Where can I find information and resources for a teenager trying to make first steps toward financial independence from controlling/unstable/abusive parents? Particularly parental identity theft prevention. [more inside]
posted by Ndwright on Aug 28, 2016 - 9 answers

Is it as simple as saying, "Please leave me alone"?

Just trying to live a peaceful and functional adult life beyond the reach of a controlling, emotionally abusive parent. But I was tracked down by a PI and I'm worried that it's only a matter of time before I have to face this awful person again. What do I say to make clear that I have no intention of reestablishing ties and that I wish to be left alone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 26, 2016 - 15 answers

Signing out of iCloud for domestic abuse survivor

my friend needs a way to get her iphone 6 de-linked from an icloud account owned by her abusive soon-to-be ex husband because he is using it to stalk her. [more inside]
posted by miss so and so on Aug 19, 2016 - 22 answers

Handling rage at people who *knew* and did *nothing*?

How do I let go of anger at family members that knew about me being abused and did nothing? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Aug 12, 2016 - 21 answers

How to introduce myself to executives in my field after a long absence?

I am planning to reach out to some museum executives in hopes of building my network and seeking steady employment in my field areas of Anthropology & Museology. I have not been working in my field for the past couple of years because of a horrible domestic abuse situation and I am out of practice in terms of applying for jobs/networking, etc. How can I reach out to these executives and not appear like an idiot? [more inside]
posted by chatelaine on Aug 10, 2016 - 11 answers

Positive outcomes for kids when there's sexual abuse?

I'm curious about how, in real life, one deals with a situation where someone is molesting or abusing a child. Commonly, the perpetrator is within the family or friend group – a father, an uncle, a sibling or cousin, a friend of the family. In these situations where you have family ties, what kind of response actually makes the situation better? I'm interested in both concrete steps that can be taken as well as what kind of outcomes would be expected. [Trigger Warning] [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2016 - 17 answers

Me vs. My husband's family

I just had a big blow up with my husband's "mother" and while he's taken my side, the more I think about it, the more it seems his story doesn't hold up, and I feel he kind of provoked the argument, but maybe not on purpose. Looking back, this seems to be a pattern. [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on Jul 30, 2016 - 55 answers

I want to try to find victims from the same perpitrator. How?

Long story short: I was sexually abused by a principal in charge of a public school. I know there have been cases where victims have found eachother and created a case. I want to know how that happens? US centric advice wanted. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 24, 2016 - 4 answers

Have I been emotionally abused? If so, how do I begin to recover?

I've admitted my father may be kind of a monster. Is he really, or is it me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2016 - 33 answers

Why should I not report historical abuse to the police?

I am coming to terms with some incidents of abuse in my childhood. I have an excellent treatment team. I am a logical, problem solving sort of person. I read various literature about the reporting of assault. Now, I feel confused. I do not understand why reporting these incidents to the police is something I should not do. What is it that stops people from doing this? I talked with the perpetrator, who remembers and agrees with my description of the incidents, but does not agree that they were criminal acts. I am reasonably confident that they were. I do not know if they would plead guilty were it to come to it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2016 - 14 answers

Why is abuse so formulaic?

After reading around forums on parental abuse, I'm struck by how often my mother has a behaviour/opinion/specific threat or saying that is so common it could've come from an official handbook. My parents didn't have a parenting 'philosophy', they just did what they liked and didn't give it much thought. How is it possible that these isolated, fairly unaware people could be reproducing the exact same abusive behaviour I've read over and over, committed thousands of miles away? [more inside]
posted by everydayanewday on Jun 28, 2016 - 19 answers

How to support an abusive friend?

I have a long-term friend who recently assaulted someone at a party. My peer group has basically cut them off at this point. Is there any way to be a good ally AND a good friend or am I going to have to choose sides and end one of the longest relationships in my life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2016 - 44 answers

How would a British matron be verbally absuive to a gay man in 1860?

I would like to know the terms a venerable but extremely acerbic British lady (Think Dowager Countess but deliberately mean) in the 1860's would use to be verbally abusive to a gay man, starting with the mildest possible terms and escalating to full blown, hate crime levels of verbal vitriol. [more inside]
posted by Jacen on Jun 2, 2016 - 37 answers

So Much Anger-Don't Know What To Do

For the single year that my brother was alive, my Dad ran off and left our family. Now my Dad insists on sending the family notices on the anniversary of my brother's death. This is so painful, how can I make it stop? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 1, 2016 - 36 answers

Has anyone else had a parent who FORCED you into an eating disorder?

I (female) grew up in a house as the only girl with multiple brothers. My mother began putting me on diets at age 8, before I'd ever shown any signs of having weight issues. I was a normal 8 yr old girl, but not as scrawny as my brothers. From the diets she'd always put me on (this was the 80's, for cultural reference), it began a terrible cycle of me failing the diets and not ever being able to do enough to make her stop policing what I ate. I'm just now coming to the conclusion that I may never have had an issue with food / being overweight if my mom had not forced her insecurities on to me. Longer explanation included. Advice/perspective/fellow war stories appreciated. [more inside]
posted by zettoo on May 31, 2016 - 32 answers

Setting Boundaries vs Being Controlling?

I have very poor boundaries, and I'm just beginning to understand what that means. I've been trying to be aware of that and then set them in my relationship with my husband - but I'm unsure I'm doing it right, and am not just ending up being controlling. [more inside]
posted by LANA! on May 27, 2016 - 16 answers

How to bring myself to end this abusive relationship?

I have to end my relationship of a decade, and there are many feelings involved. As a highly-sensitive person, I feel everything so deeply, and after some terrifying behavior lately, I feel like the strength I had built and my determination to leave have gone flat. I feel emotionally on the floor and mentally exhausted. How do I bring myself to end this relationship for my own sanity and healing? [more inside]
posted by Fire on May 24, 2016 - 29 answers

How can you tell if you're being manipulative?

How can you tell if you're being manipulative? [more inside]
posted by triggerfinger on May 19, 2016 - 24 answers

Major Relationship Issue- How to Control My Resentment?

I'm currently harboring a lot of resentment towards my girlfriend. Her brother is a molester and she's unsure of what to do about it, and she has cancelled our wedding due to being unsure and afraid of losing the rest of her family. I have no idea what to do or where to turn, how can I stop feeling resentful? [more inside]
posted by Firestorm 2018 on May 7, 2016 - 45 answers

Don't want to be around kids; should I find a new job?

I am in therapy for abuse and find being around kids really upsetting for some reason. It's an essential part of my job, though; should I quit? Or are there strategies for this? [more inside]
posted by fair isle sock on Apr 26, 2016 - 14 answers

Finally believing it wasn't your fault

If you are a survivor of sexual assault (especially childhood sexual assault) aside from therapy what helped you realize and know for certain that what happened wasn't your fault? How did you get to a point of certainty where all of your being knew you weren't to blame? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Apr 26, 2016 - 26 answers

In total cognitive dissonance re: physical punishment. Please help.

I may be having a child soon, and it just hit me that in my mind physical discipline = success (I don't know any better). Could you please convince me that this is wrong and that there is a way to successfully raise children without terrifying them? Please help me deprogram myself. [more inside]
posted by ADent on Apr 25, 2016 - 49 answers

Dog Socks? (And other dog questions.)

So I've been asking about dog ownership, and got advice here (among other places) which led me to sign up to foster a dog. This is Huggy, my 5 year old foster mutt (though she's clearly got quite a bit of Rottie in her). She has a host of problems and she will be with me for a while. As a result, I have a host of questions. Can you answer some of them? (You are not my vet-- I have a good vet. ) [more inside]
posted by frumiousb on Apr 25, 2016 - 19 answers

Overhearing neighbor's verbal abuse to his kids - what to do?

I live in a nice suburb of Chicago, and our house is very close to neighbors on both sides. In the summer, when windows are open, we can occasionally hear one neighbor (male, lawyer, not that it matters really) yell and swear at his young kids, such as "Don't drop the f-ing ball again!" really mean. [more inside]
posted by j810c on Apr 19, 2016 - 21 answers

Was my ex a narcissist?

I just emerged from a relationship of several months which I have since realized was emotionally abusive. In attempting to understand it I have come to think that maybe she had NPD, but I don't know whether this is an accurate characterization. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Apr 4, 2016 - 25 answers

Is it legal to reveal the identity of child victims of sexual abuse?

I was horrified to read an article today on Buzzfeed about a 'heroic' Australian victim who raised several thousand dollars for a home for child victims of sexual abuse in Kenya. So far, so good. Except that the article included photographs of many of the young girls themselves. Those pictures are now on the internet forever. [more inside]
posted by matthew.alexander on Mar 23, 2016 - 11 answers

Should I rock the boat?

I have written a letter to my mother in which I try to show her that her marriage to my father is not what it claims to be, and that the promised happy times that are always just around the corner are probably never going to come. Should I send it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 19, 2016 - 43 answers

Why don't psychiatrists ask about abuse?

I haven't been asked directly about my abuse and trauma history when meeting with mental health professionals. Is this standard? If so, why? [more inside]
posted by fair isle sock on Feb 23, 2016 - 16 answers

Literature on verbal and emotional abuse in romantic relationships

Looking for fiction, lyric essays, poetry, or theoretical texts that discuss emotional and verbal abuse in romantic relationships. Interested in both fiction and non-fiction, but not interested in self-help, psychology, life coach-y type lit, nor YA novels. [more inside]
posted by hollypolly on Feb 21, 2016 - 24 answers

Should I intervene in my brother's relationship? How?

My brother is behaving in ways that I consider emotionally abusive towards his long-term partner. She's on the cusp of moving across the country to be with him under questionable circumstances. I'm very alarmed by the patterns I'm picking up. What on Earth do I do, if anything? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 16, 2016 - 17 answers

Stop a cycle that technically isn't a cycle yet?

How to foster a household that is devoid of physical violence, including threats of violence? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2016 - 13 answers

Sexual abuse recovery chaos

This is me. In the two weeks since writing that post, I've talked to my partner and have had my first session with a therapist who specializes in sexual assault. Right now I feel like I am going crazy. What's going on? [more inside]
posted by fair isle sock on Jan 5, 2016 - 17 answers

Severing ties all the tie-me

I grew up in an abusive family. I haven’t spoken to my brother in forever. I plan to communicate minimally with my parents in the future. But this isn’t about them. It’s about the fact that I deal with friendships a little strangely. I tend to cut close friends out of my life abruptly. [more inside]
posted by kinoeye on Jan 3, 2016 - 13 answers

What are some resources about child on child sexual abuse?

What are some resources to help parents deal with child-on-child sexual abuse? Trigger Warning: details of the incident inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 30, 2015 - 6 answers

Are lovers' quarrels classifiable as abuse?

Are lovers' quarrels classifiable as abuse? [more inside]
posted by UbuRoivas on Nov 27, 2015 - 85 answers

Blamed for the death of someone I didn't even know...

I'm having a terrible time processing and dealing with the sudden death of someone I had never even met. Why? Well, she was my (now ex)boyfriends good friend and ex-fwb, with whom his friendship was kept a secret from me. And now he's blaming me for her death... [more inside]
posted by tenaciousmoon on Nov 20, 2015 - 53 answers

Fear of loneliness *and* fear of dating

I'm terrified of loneliness and terrified of dating. Needless to say, I'm wound up most of the time. What can I do about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2015 - 7 answers

Very upset after contact with abusive family members

Usually I am on cloud nine as to how great my life turned out despite childhood abuse and how thankful I am, but this week I suffered a setback and I wonder how to get over this. How do you get back to enjoying your current day life after a huge nasty abuse cloud from the past has come over you? [more inside]
posted by flink on Nov 11, 2015 - 14 answers

Snapped at friend-ish for standing me up--am I verbally abusive?

A guy I dated briefly canceled literally a minute before we were supposed to meet for dinner. He asked for a raincheck. I said some choice words that I now regret. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Nov 7, 2015 - 31 answers

Abusive Father Turned Stalker

After twelve years of silence, an abusive father has been aggressively trying to get in touch. [more inside]
posted by LilithSilver on Nov 3, 2015 - 25 answers

Interstate Intervention?

The shit has hit the fan. The plane has crashed into the mountain. My out-of-town sister needs help for her drinking, depression and anxiety above and beyond what her loved ones or twice-a-week therapy can provide. Since interventions don't work, how do I get her the help she needs? [more inside]
posted by Pearl928 on Nov 3, 2015 - 14 answers

Examples of good anti-harassment policies & procedures?

I am a leader in a local hobby community and we are trying to deepen our existing policies for dealing with harassment and related issues in our scene. I'm looking for examples of policies and procedures from other communities that we might be able to adapt for our community, rather than starting from scratch. Can you suggest any good examples? [more inside]
posted by aka burlap on Oct 26, 2015 - 5 answers

I need to stop being abusive

I was in therapy, but then we moved to a developing country a few months ago where therapies are not the done thing. I was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive before therapy. After a lot of work, I am a lot less abusive, but I've found that I still engage in controlling behavior. For the sake of my mental health and my relationship I want to stop completely, but don't know how to without professional help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2015 - 16 answers

Asking for a friend that needs a lover who won't drive her crazy.

Have a long-term long-distance friendship. She has a lot of challenges, including self-confidence issues. I would love to believe I could do something to get her more local friends. Ideally help her find a guy as accomplished as she is. [more inside]
posted by Wilbefort on Oct 21, 2015 - 15 answers

Recommendations for post-divorce mortgage communication?

I need a legally-enforceable, semi "public" method for my abusive ex to communicate to me evidence of his compliance with his legal responsibilities. We are in dispute over previously shared property but I have insisted on no contact and do not wish to enable my ex to contact me over any issue but the property. I don't want him to have my email address or that of an alias/other account in case he uses that address to send abuse, threats, or any other kind of unnecessary and unwanted correspondence. [more inside]
posted by LetticeLeaf on Oct 6, 2015 - 18 answers

Dealing with abusive former collaborator who runs in same social circles

My close professional relationship with a man ended badly because he was abusive towards me and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. He's blown up over tiny things, yelled at me until I cried, made inappropriate sexual advances, etc. He’s done this to at least 5 different women, but nobody wants to talk about it openly. [more inside]
posted by doodletoo on Sep 20, 2015 - 7 answers

Wouldn't it be nice to learn more about Brian Wilson?

I'd like to learn more about Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys. What biographies should I read? [more inside]
posted by PhoBWanKenobi on Sep 17, 2015 - 8 answers

How do I not hate myself for all this?

It will come as no surprise to some folks here that I am making such a post; however, many deeply felt frustrations have started to arise since I started college in April. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Aug 18, 2015 - 22 answers

Broke up with toxic ex, why do I feel like I did something wrong?

I broke up with my toxic ex roughly 2 weeks ago and I feel real empty and weird. I feel sad and feel like I did something wrong but he mainly to blame for this. More inside [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Aug 16, 2015 - 16 answers

Page: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8