Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with Work

Pay the Bills vs. Side Projects

parallax7d — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 11:37:09 -0800

When you were working on your first big successful side project, what type of work were you doing to pay the bills? Please explain the difference in the types of work you did "at work" and while working "on your project". I'm trying to decide if my "pay the bills" worklife is killing my project worklife. I'm interested in what type of day jobs work well for people, in relation to the type of side projects they work on.

Help my start my biology research on the right foot

snoogles — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 06:43:56 -0800

I'm starting a 3 month research project in a neuroscience lab as part of my Masters program. What should I know/do in order to make it go as smoothly as possible? I'll be working with mice.

The type of experiments I'll be doing: immunocytochemistry, cellular cartography, behavioral testing.

I'm looking for general or specific advice on: keeping a lab notebook, being organised, staying on top of the bibliography, not letting the lab swallow up my entire life, and above all making a good impression on my supervisor!

Help me not freak out at my boss or have my boss freak out at me

Anonymous — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 13:15:19 -0800

How to deal with a boss who might have Asperger's? I'm the new nanny for a 4-year-old child on the Autism spectrum. At first I thought my boss was a self-centered and rude to the extreme. We have been working side-by-side because her child is difficult to handle.

She completely forgot that I need to eat food. She dragged her former nanny through a museum at super speed though she was suffering from a severely injured toe. Every time I mentioned something not directly related to her, she looked at me like I was a space alien. What an asshole, right?

Then I got to know her a little bit better. It became clear that she is making a significant effort to make me feel comfortable and valued. The effort does not always translate correctly. For example, she freaked out at the prospect that I might want to eat the food in her apartment. I don't get a lunch break to go out and get lunch, besides, I need snacks, drinks, etc throughout the day. She stated that their housekeeper purchased her mother's food for her mother. So it is her mother's food. My boss took that to mean that her mother would never allow me to touch it. We're talking basics like milk, grapes, bread. Then, the next day, she told me I could eat her mother's food because, of course, her mother doesn't mind. This is a good example of her literal-mindedness and ignorance of some social norms (you let the people who are stuck in your home for 8+ hours a day drink your milk).

She now makes an effort to ask me about my life, in a bit of a stilted way, as though she scheduled that particular 5 minutes for "ask nanny about her life". She listens to my jokes politely although she does not have a sense of humor for anything but the completely absurd. Even that tends to get a surprised laugh/guffaw instead of a happy laugh.

She lectures. Oh, the lectures. They are long and boring and she does not notice when I want to talk or respond. She has described an excellent memory and academic success (in the top three of her class at Ivy League law school). It's not an issue of intelligence.

Keep in mind that I work side-by-side with her for 2+ hours every day (the rest of the day I'm with her child alone).

Questions:
Do you think she has Asperger's?
Do you know someone else who has Asperger's? What is it like to live/work with them?
Where can I learn more about it? I get the basics that one can find on wikipeda, so I'm looking for higher-level, more complex writing either by or about adults with Asperger's syndrome. Books, websites.

Any general suggestions about getting along with her, as someone who is extroverted, cheerful, playful, and somewhat inconsistent (meaning, I fluster her by not adhering to predictable routines)? Things that I should avoid doing?

The job is just what I'm looking for--challenging, their place is nice and cozy, the commute is great. Financially, I don't have another viable option. I had been looking for full time work for 4 months before finding this job. So "quit" or "find something else" are not good answers.

Atypical ways to get interviews at companies?

kelechv — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 14:40:39 -0800

Almost every job I have ever received came from responding to a Craigslist/Monster/Indeed.com ad. This strategy doesn't seem to work as well anymore, likely due to astounding increases in online application volume. Besides simply knowing someone at the company, what are other ways you've had success in getting interviews?

I just want some answers!

soelo — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 08:47:23 -0800

How do I actually get the documentation that I have been asking for at work? I am already looking for a new job, so no need to give me that advice.

At work, there have been many new projects lately with lots of misunderstandings or just unclear directions from our supervisors. In a recent meeting, my first question was how often they wanted the data and they could not tell me weekly or monthly. We went forward assuming weekly, but there has still not been any specific answer.

I've been in this role for nine years, and two years ago our direct supervisor changed from one who required (and wrote) documentation for new projects to one who is much more laid back. This is when the smaller problems became much bigger. Most of these projects do not come from him, but from his boss or other people at that level in our department. I feel as if they know he won't stand up to them so they walk all over him, and by extension us.

In order to solve this problem, I have suggested that we use Sharepoint to document the details of projects. Other groups in our department use it, but my supervisor has ignored my suggestions. He has not said why, but I suspect he is afraid of learning new software. In the meantime, we still have these problems. When I have time, I can document some of my work and try to keep up with the new projects. But I have no training in documentation, plus we have a group who does the documentation for most of the other groups, but they don't support us.

I am not out to prove that we are always right. I know we make mistakes, but I am tired of seeing us blamed for anything that goes wrong. We feel scapegoated, like we are pawns in the sick game of office politics.

So, I'd like suggestions on how to get the documentation and clear answers that we need.

Finding work after you've been aged out

Summer05 — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 10:08:09 -0800

I'm a young 60 yr old woman aged out of my career of 30 yrs.--creating advertising for pharmaceuticals. Is paying for help worth it? I'm lost and must keep earning!! Suggestions? I no longer want anything to do with my previous profession. But I'm
totally blocked as to what to do. I'm a really good writer, and usually
a creative thinker. And the recession? Even in my NYC area, it's horrible.
Should I pay a job counselor?

I've got to go, but I know just the guy to help you out...

Anonymous — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 21:29:02 -0800

Have you, or someone you know, ever actually quit your job and convinced your employer to hire you back as a vendor or consultant, producing great happiness? I work in data security for a company whose clients are financial services firms. My job is mostly technical: I consult on internal projects to make sure things are done securely and in compliance to relevant regulations and standards. My background is systems and infrastructure.

There's one aspect of my job that I really enjoy. To me, it's an aspect that could be pretty easily outsourced: it deals with our vendors, and many of our clients outsource it. There are lots of aspects of my job that I don't like: you know, dysfunctional organizations and awful office politics and a growing feeling of stagnation. I have a decent relationship with my boss, although he might see this as 'disloyalty' if I handle it poorly. I don't know how higher levels of management within the organization would react. My wife has a stable job with a decent salary; we could take a reduction in my income but getting it wiped out would be hard. I'm not asking about cash flows or financials right now.

Anyway, that background is somewhat immaterial. I'd like to quit my job and have my employer hire me back to do a certain portion of it, a service which I could then extend to other customers as well. This is something I've heard whispered tales of people doing, but never seen in person. What's my best strategy for doing this successfully?

Temp email: forceloverhat@gmail.com

Account coordinator - what's it like?

trillian — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 15:52:56 -0800

What's it like being an account coordinator at a PR firm? I've read some job profiles online, but I'd like to hear personal experiences. What's the day-to-day work like, and what sort of person would be good for the job? I see there's a past question that touches on being an account exec, but this is the rung below, right?

Does my husband qualify for unemployment?

otherwordlyglow — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:26:44 -0800

Will my husband qualify for unemployment in California after a long-term temp/contract position is over? My husband was hired for a three-month stint in an engineering position at a major electronics manufacturer to replace a guy out on sick leave. He is paid through an agency (payrolling.com) and receives a W-2. So I guess he's technically an employee of Payrolling, placed in the electronics manufacturer's office. Because the guy he was replacing ended up having complications, my husband has been there for 14 months and was recently told that the previously sick dude will be back as of the end of January so they'll no longer need my husband's services.

Can he receive unemployment compensation from the state of California? In total, he will have been there 15 months full time when he leaves.

He'd really love to stay there as a full-time employee (not through Payrolling.com) and they have suggested that a position may open up to hire him, so he certainly doesn't want to make any waves but if he's going to be out of work, the unemployment compensation would be welcome.

what do I do now

Anonymous — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 09:16:17 -0800

I have been put on a 1 month probationary period at work. I knew this was most likely coming. I haven't been the happiest at my job in my new role and I guess it has shown in my attitude. I have a feeling that this 1 month probabition period is a formality for letting me go and that the decision is already made, even though they say it's still open.

My question is whether it is better to go ahead and give my notice now or wait until they fire/let me go (if they do which it feels like will be the outcome at the end of january).

My wife is still employed and we have a good emergency fund built up for just this type of thing, but I'm not really that happy with what I am doing. I'm trying to move myself into a new role, but there just aren't that many options right now.

Please help me figure out my best course of action.

Unemployed pregnant lady wants to work.

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 17:14:02 -0800

I've been unemployed for a year and have had an unsuccessful job hunt. I've recently discovered (happily) that I'm pregnant. This changes everything. I have been looking for primarily full time opportunities in creative services project planning. That is the path I have unwittingly found myself on, although in the back of my head I've been thinking of going back to school for my masters and changing paths. I couldn't get into a Masters program until at least the fall of '11

Discovering I'm pregnant (6 weeks along, 1st and probably only baby) changes all of this. If I interview for FT jobs NOW, I would feel extremely guilty not disclosing my pregnancy, knowing I'd only be there until August. (I think I would really like to take a year to be with the baby, and not just two to three months maternity leave, but I'm pretty sure I'd want to get on with a career after that.) But no one is going to hire a pregnant lady. This is going to be a LONG 8 months if I don't find work. My husband and I are being conservative with spending and thus ok financially on just one income. But I'm insane, and I'd really like to work while I'm pregnant. I'm also freaking out about this big gap on my resume and there's about to be another big gap. One other problem is my last two jobs were short, less than a year (Even though I was at my first job for 8 years). If I take another job for less than a year again, this looks bad. I'm in my mid thirties, if this matters.

So, my question is: Do I continue to seek out FT employment and wait to disclose the pregnancy (assuming I even get an interview while I still have a flat belly), knowing I'd probably only be there until August? I've tried looking for contract/short term jobs to no avail. Other ideas for a pregnant lady that wants to work for a while? I won't to administrative temp stuff.

Throw away email preggerstowork@gmail.com

I am terrified of talking on the phone but my job responsibilities will require me to do so.

Anonymous — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 16:06:15 -0800

I have a near-pathological fear of talking to strangers on the phone. My expanded job duties will soon include calling clients. How do I get past this fear? I am already looking for another job for unrelated reasons, but it is likely that I will be in this one for another few months due to the economy etc. Plus this is just a fear I'll have to get past in any job.

I think this mainly stems from the fact that I am hearing impaired and had speech therapy for years. I can function perfectly well with people I know, and I don't have too many problems in person, but over the phone I have trouble understanding people, and they have trouble understanding me. I get embarrassed when I have to repeat myself or ask them to repeat words. It is not a volume level, I have devices to help me with that. In my non-work life I try my best to use email wherever possible when I have to contact businesses or other people I don't know.

I will not be making cold calls, I will be calling existing clients to verify information, confirm orders, etc. Normally I will only talk to them once or twice so it is not as if I will be building an ongoing relationship. I expect a large proportion of clients will not speak English in the way that I do (accents, dialect) which increases the frustration in trying to understand each other. Up to now I have not had to make phone calls in this job. They are expanding my duties.

I really need to get past this because I think it will hinder my future career. The anxiety is such that my stomach tightens even writing this.

What first sparked your interest in computers?

pwnguin — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:06:24 -0800

I need help finding citations for a story about programmer's inspirations. A giant whiteboard asks for the spark that interested people in computers and the answers are all video games. I recall reading a story about a whiteboard at a Silicon Valley company, I think it was Google, but for all I recall it could be MS in Redmond.

The story goes: There was a giant whiteboard hallway wall where someone would ask a question for people to answer on the board. One day someone put on the board "What motivated your interest in programming?" and the first answer was Super Mario Bros, (or something like that) leading to an epic list of old video games.

Can anyone point me to a website or reference of this story, or correct my story?

over my head

Anonymous — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 16:08:35 -0800

Should I resign to finish graduate work and so I can find a position I can again succeed at? I've worked for the same company for 7+ years. I took a management position about a year ago, thinking I'd have enough time to finish up my graduate work (3 courses - I have been taking part-time), but because of the long hours I had to take a semester + off (and my GPA dropped). I asked to move back to my earlier position, and while my boss initially agreed it is no longer in the budget. Right after it was found to not be in the budget I got a written warning because of errors of my team or a few of my own. Also I am now told a may not be able to take a week-long vacation I have planned all year. Would it be better from a future hiring perspective to resign (with the reason of finishing graduate work) or be let go (with a chance of unemployment)?

I Am Not A Lawyer... Yet.

greekphilosophy — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 15:31:12 -0800

Suggestions for getting the most out of BarBri while staying employed full-time? I'm taking the February 2010 Texas Bar Exam. I'm employed full time (a strict 9-6 schedule) and enrolled in BarBri. I have to do the mobile course because I don't live close enough to a testing site to get there in time for the nightly videos. How do I make the most of this experience while remaining employed full time? Is that possible? Is that stupid?*

Factors to consider:

- I'm not a morning person. I would love to wake up at 5am and start studying for a couple hours before work, but that just isn't going to happen.

- I AM a night person. I can stay up until about 2am just about every night and still function the next day. After 2am I'm pretty much no good.

- I have no children and no responsibilities and I'm pretty clear that a social life is out. I'm okay with that.

- I live 10 minutes from work. No need to factor in a major commute or anything of that nature.

- I did not go to law school in Texas, and I graduated in 2007 so any relevant law school studies are probably either stale or irrelevant.

- My work environment is not conducive to studying. I am a case manager for a social service agency, and I see clients on a walk-in basis. That means that I'm constantly interrupted. My office is also tiled and located next to a children's immunization clinic: their little screams reverberate through my skull all day long.

*I'm fairly certain this is a stupid plan, and I'm fully ready to slash my hours. But before I do that, I need to hear any and all suggestions for how to stay employed full-time while preparing for the bar exam.

Help me with this report

doorsfan — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:21:07 -0800

Boss Left + (My Strategy Plan*Your Help) = Promotion I need your input on a strategy plan to get a promotion.

My boss just left the company and last week I had a meeting with my director saying that I want this newly vacant position that I’m fully qualified for. My director was open to my casual suggestion and we had a brief interview consisting of what I would do, and what he would do if he were me and trying to get this promotion. The end to this conversation was for me to provide him a strategy report on what I would do in this position and that our next steps would go from there (so yeah, this could be all for nothing but I got to take advantage of this opportunity).

My top three actions were actually in line with his top three things that need to be addressed so what I’m looking for is your professional guidance on what else I need to include in this strategy report.

Anything you got – layout, content, specific questions to address, examples. What is evident is that at his level there are always questions to be asked so outside of racking my brains for the next few days to make sure all angles of what I have in my head get covered I’m looking for things I may not have considered or better ways to pull this report together.

While not divulging too much I work for a medical device manufacture on the web marketing team (which today now only consists of me so additional headcount is something that needs to be addressed).

I plan on giving him my report this Friday, to get it in his head before the holidays and vacation. Thanks in advance!

How can I resist the temptation to despair?

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 16:45:30 -0800

How can I resist the temptation to despair as I get older and still find myself unable to break consistent patterns of frustration in my work and personal life? (long) I am 39 years old and have just had the first successful year of my life in terms of career. After struggling for nearly two decades in boring, low-level jobs that didn't pay enough to enable me to move out of the family home, I entered a new field and did a hell of a lot of work with a hell of a lot of objective and measurable output to show for it. I had excellent feedback all year, mostly from my boss, but also from others.

Better still, I had enough pay and financial benefits to support myself into the future and, a couple of weeks ago, I finally paid off the debts I ran up over the two preceding years when I spent more time looking for work than I did actually working (and during which the cost of going to work was only slightly less than I earned).

I was looking forward to building on my successful year career-wise, and storing up some savings. I thought that finally I would be able to afford to go out once a week and maybe, with any luck, eventually meet someone special.

The only problem (as far as I knew) was that the job was very draining and exhausting, largely because of my boss's management style. She does things at the last minute and characteristically leaves us working towards externally imposed hard deadlines (i.e. the team won't get paid if they're not met) with insufficient time to meet them. She is always unresponsive to appeals for better time management and on one occasion I worked myself into exhaustion, such that I passed out and hit my head.

Over the last couple of months I became weepy and had to stay home sick a couple of days because of uncontrollable crying. I also couldn't force myself to work as fast as usual and had to work longer hours to compensate, meaning I got less and less sleep. I attributed this to the feelings stirred up by a colleague who had just moved on to a new job, but not before toying with my emotions quite severely while simultaneously making it clear that he was unavailable. This led to my thinking about what I still longed for in life that I couldn't have.

Not only this, but it was especially painful because I'd had no inkling that he was attracted to me and mutual attraction is something that has never happened before in my entire life. Yes, you read that right - not ever. I'm attracted to very very few people, and that, combined with geographical isolation (for economic reasons) and my ASD has basically meant a lifetime of utter singleness. There are men I could have dated, but they always seemed to me to have something glaringly undesirable about them. I often thought that perhaps I should have forced myself to go out with them even though I wasn't interested in them, but my instincts invariably turned out to be right. So I guess I'm glad I trusted my instincts but still... no relationships for me. (And I'm sure plenty of people will suggest that the unavailability is the attraction, but I have considered that and I'm pretty sure it's not true.)

Anyway, because I wasn't getting any sleep or any exercise and I never knew when I might be called upon to work myself into exhaustion again, my blood pressure went up. I was given 3 months to get it down again or be taken off some medications I rely on to function every day. So I had to tell my boss I needed to exercise every day and get 7 hours' sleep a night.

Unfortunately the moment I had to tell her was immediately after she yelled at me for booking a flight that landed the night before a conference, instead of travelling for a night and a day to get there an hour before the conference, with of course a full day's work on either side. She *said* she was okay with what I needed to do... what else would she say?

Meanwhile I had to accept that my weepiness wasn't going away and I entered treatment for depression and began to improve.

Although I knew my contract could come to an end at any time, my boss always downplayed this possibility and the feedback I got from others was always that she viewed me as someone who would be around for a long time. Besides, I had just interviewed two new recruits. So it came as a big surprise when I went in for my regular weekly meeting, and after talking over "you need to debug this, enhance that, and update the other," I then got, "and by the way I have to give you notice that your contract won't be renewed."

Still I was assured that it was nothing personal, and coworkers reassured me that I was bound to get a glowing reference and that I'd have known it if anything were wrong with the quality of my work.

A couple of days later it was appraisal time. I was shocked by how negative her review was. On the one hand I had glowing emails of appreciation that I got for completing certain projects, and on the other hand, I had low scores and negative remarks for those exact same projects in the appraisal. I got disparagement for doing things that I had on record that she explicitly ordered me to do. I checked my output against the expected norms for someone at my level, over against her criticism that I should have done more. I also contacted ex-coworkers for a reality check. Having gathered the evidence I put my case that her appraisal was inconsistent with both her feedback and my actual achievements, and that if my performance had indeed been as bad as she had presented it, I should reasonably have expected to hear about it a lot sooner. I reviewed my comments for diplomacy with a third party, and hoped for the best.

Her response was a 2-hour blast of negativity with no constructive content at all (honestly - none), accompanied by demands that I delete my comments, accept hers, and sign the document. (And that I was being mean to her.) Finally she agreed that our differing opinions would be recorded.

I felt drained, but glad I had stuck to my guns. So I go in the next morning for my regular weekly meeting, have a brief task review, and then end up trapped in her office for the better part of an hour while she demands that I retract my comments and sign hers and tells me, again, all the reasons why I deserve a bad review. And that I'm being mean to her. And lying. And that I'm just not able to take constructive criticism. And that I should stop wasting time and sign it right now. She wouldn't let me leave.

I still refused to sign it, and I eventually hit on the right combination of words to get me out of her office. I waited a while for my head to stop spinning, then I collected my things and ran home.

When I dared to look in my inbox the next day I found a conciliatory message saying she was sorry the appraisal had been upsetting "for us both". I reviewed her comments and found them acceptable, and agreed to sign off.

I worked from home that day but, when I got in the next morning, the anxiety got too much and I had to go home. I tried to keep working but I got so weepy I had to call the doctor, who signed me off sick until Monday.

So... that was a long story. I'll go in on Monday and do everything possible to keep my cool. I've taken advice and am fully aware of what my rights are. I'll be trying to get home early enough to apply for at least one job per day, as horrified as I am to have to go through all that again. I have ex-coworkers who fully support me and will provide references. Two medical professionals will back me up if necessary.

That's how things are. But this is how it feels:

When my 80-year-old mother dies, that will mean the loss of my one reliable source of companionship and support. She wants to put the Christmas tree up and I can't stand to because it means one more year has gone by and for all my efforts, I have still failed at life in the most basic ways:

- although I have many good friends, I'm so non-fun that I can't get anyone to hang out with me;
- although I have demonstrable talent, all it ever seems to do for me is get me fired;
- I am going to get into debt again and am unable to support myself at the age of nearly 40;
- I will almost certainly never have children;
- although I seem to be regarded as desirable by quite a few people (including the Handsomest Boy In The Village), this doesn't result in my being any less single;
- although the Handsomest Boy In The Village evidently has feelings of some kind for me, he can't or won't act on them.

I am haunted by temptation to reach the following conclusions:
- that I can't stand to live in a world where I will never succeed for failing;
- that I can't stand to live in a world where all love is theoretical;
- that I just can't stand it.

What can I do to stop thinking these thoughts?

The Best Way to Get Work Done

CollectiveMind — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 08:58:42 -0800

I have some ideas I want to bring to fruition. Is it best to focus on each one at a time until I either complete it or go as far as I can go with it? Or is it better to schedule my time so I work on each of them a little each day and move them all forward at once?

Help me prepare to confront my boss!

Anonymous — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 08:33:55 -0800

I'm going to have a confrontation with my boss. Help me prepare! The other day my boss said some things to me which I thought were unfair. Being me, I didn't really stand up for myself as much as I would have liked to. I'd like to go back to my boss after Christmas with pre-prepared list of things I'd like to say in response to what she said to me. I'd like to list some of those things to you all here and get a sense of whether I'm being reasonable or not, and perhaps refining some of the things I'd like to say.

Background. My boss is the textbook definition of a workaholic. She's not had a holiday in years and is well known for still being in the office at 11pm doing things she thinks need doing.

Me? Not so much of a workaholic. Infact, I've tried very hard to get as good of a work/life balance as I can. This doesn't mean I shirk my duties. Far from it. When I work, I get my work done and I do it to a very high quality. This isn't just me praising myself though. Numerous past bosses, many of our external clients and even my current workaholic boss have all praised my work in the past. Indeed, my boss gave me a pay rise earlier this year in recognition of what I've done and what I do.

So, it was a bit of a surprise when she basically attacked me the other day, and it came right out of the blue. During a conversation where I was giving her a status update on something we were both working on, she suddenly mentioned that next year would be a "whole new game" as far as my responsibilities were concerned and what she expected of me. She said she knows I surf the net a bit (I do, my response in a minute) and she said that next year she won't be expecting me to go home at 5pm anymore. She told me I was here to work and that's what she expects me to do next year.

I was a bit taken a back by this, and I mentioned that me leaving at 5pm (the official end of our working day) was to try and achieve a work/life balance and was also important for public transport (if I don't leave before 5:30pm I don't get home until very late). She said those weren't really excuses. She said our job is not one where you can usually do 9 to 5 . She said when she was at my level, she would often be at work until 8pm. She asked if she was being too hard. Still somewhat in shock, I said no and we sort of left it at that.

There are many things I'd like to have said in my defense, but didn't. I'd like to prepare a list of things in response and I'd like to run the basic arguments past you guys to get your feedback.

1: The internet: I'm willing to cede some ground here and admit I do surf the net a bit while at work. But here's why. I sort of see myself sometimes as the really smart kid at school who gets left behind because he's so far ahead of the rest of the class that he gets bored and mucks up. Relating that to my work situation, I do all my work very quickly (and remember, it gets high praise from my boss, so it's not like I'm cutting corners) and then I'm left with no work to do, sometimes for hours. I'll try and do menial tasks where I can, but there's only so much of that one can do. Which is why, out of boredom, I often turn to the net. So basically the argument I want to present to my boss is "yes, I surf the net, but it's only because I get through my work so quickly." However I will also pledge to scale back my net surfing, since this is the right thing to do.

2: Work Hours: Officially our work day is 9am until 5pm. Unofficially we usually work longer hours than that, with no overtime or time in lieu. Many of my colleagues do work longer than 5pm and my boss definitely does. I try not to. If I've done all my work by 5pm (and as mentioned above, I usually have), I leave. Really, what's the point in staying? Appearances? Fuck that. I want a work/life balance and too many of my colleagues have had burn outs because they didn't get the balance I've been working towards. And with my commuting options, I really do need to leave by 5pm to try and get that balance. If there is work to do though, naturally I'll stay. The other day we had a bit of a crisis at work and I stayed until 7pm because there was work that needed doing. One time I stayed until 3am in the morning working on an urgent task that needed major fixing. Again, I was happy to do this because it needed doing. But staying after 5 when there's no reason to is madness, as far as I'm concerned. I should also mention that I'm usually at work by 7am... well before my workaholic boss and most co-workers, who all tend to get in around 8:30am.

So basically I want to argue that I usually leave at 5pm because I want to achieve a work/life balance and avoid burnout, that I only leave if all my work is done and can't understand what the practical reasons for me staying longer are, and that it's worth noting that I usually put in an extra 1 to 1.5 hours in the morning anyway.

3: General Points In Response: I also just want to come back at her with some general points in response. Like when she said I'm here to work. I thought that was really unfair. I know I'm here to work. That's what I do. That's why you praised the work I do in the past. It's why you gave me a pay raise. Basically I want to tell her that I thought it was unfair for her to say I don't do my job when, clearly, I am doing my job and I'm doing it well.

I'm also thinking of saying that the suddenness of her critique, sprung on me with no warning at all, was poor form. As a boss I suppose she has the right to critique me, but I'd like to have had time to prepare myself for it. I'm on the fence as to whether to include this or not, however. What do you all think?

I'm also thinking of telling her I'm looking for another job. This incident has seriously sullied my perception of the workplace, and of her. The fact that we don't get overtime or time in lieu, plus the fact that I'm sure I could be getting paid far more somewhere else than what I'm getting paid here are all other contributing factors. I think that telling her this during the confrontation may be too bold a move, though. Especially given that I'll probably need her as a reference. Again, your thoughts would be appreciated.

So, will these arguments fly? How can I refine them? Please let me know what you all think. TIA.

Two Stupid Jobs

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 09:51:13 -0800

I went from possibly being unemployed to being offered two jobs I only sort of want. I need to take one of them in order to live, which should I take? I recently posted this anonymous askme about getting an internship in public radio, and I ended up getting the position. I then had to tell my employers at a full time job that I have worked at for four years (outsourced IT) that I would like to go part time for three months during the internship. Initially, they told me there was no place for me there while I was doing the internship and there was much hand-wringing and worrying about money, as well as applying for other positions.

Eventually, me and my employers were able to come to an agreement where I would move away from my current position in account management toward a more sales-oriented position. I will be taking a pay cut, from 73k to 60k, which won't impact me much. For the three months that I am part time, I will be making 30k, which, while difficult, I can handle. My continued employment is provisional on my success in this position, and will be reviewed again when the internship wraps up at the end of March

During the period of hand-wringing and application sending, I applied for a position at a non-profit as their operations manager. This non-profit works with first amendment issues and, as someone who wants to work in journalism, has a mission that much more jibes with my world view than the corporation I currently work at. About 2/3 of the job will be administrative and kind of dry, but there is a third that will allow me to work on education initiatives, writing for the website, and other things that I feel like I would actually enjoy. The executive director of this non-profit has basically told me that he would like to offer me the position and that he just needs the approval of the board.

The problem with this position is that it starts, full-time, at 36k a year, a little less than half of what I make now. Additionally, the director has made it clear to me that it will require more than the standard 40 hours a week, and will include having to go to conferences (pays us for travel and lodging, but no per diem or anything.) The director has made it clear that they are not looking for "nine to fivers," and they want a person who can commit outside of the standard 40 hour work week. I live in New York city, and I'm paying about $825.00 a month for rent. Doing the math, if I were making 36k a year, after taxes, rent would be just under half of my total monthly income.

So I'm faced with a choice. In one corner, a sales job that I almost certainly won't enjoy, at a decent pay rate, with the provision that I need to remain successful or I will be let go, and in the other a job which I might like a little more (though still saddled with a lot of drudgery) for very little money, requiring hours beyond the standard 40. Honestly, neither of these are holding a very strong appeal for me at the moment. My focus is on radio and journalism, both admittedly difficult fields to break into.

I guess my question would be, which one sounds less painful to you?

Should I go for financial security and take the sales job?

or

Should I go for a position that I might potentially like more and work for peanuts for the forseeable future?

Your help would be appreciated. Any questions can be sent to throwaway email address:

radiodreamjob@gmail.com

Looking for a colorful desktop nameplate

yersinia — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:41:06 -0800

Looking for a colorful/artsy name plate to sit on an office desk. Does such a thing exist? If so, where? And if not, what might be some possible substitutes? I'd like to get this as a gift for someone who was recently promoted-- one of those desk name placards seemed like a nice way to recognize the person in their new role. The job is in higher-ed administration, so not a very formal working environment; her office is filled with lovely, colorful objets-d'art, and I was hoping I could go beyond the usual blah Lucite/marble/brass/wood rectangles and get a colorful or otherwise artsy and unusual nameplate holder that'd fit into the existing decor. Bonus points if engraveable, and/or possessing a math-y or abstract theme or feel.

I thought such a thing should be easy to find-- heck, I'd like one. But after combing pretty much every single website in this list and on the Gift Wiki, I've had zero luck. Does anyone know if this kind of nameplate exists? And if no, does anyone have any ideas for creative substitutions-- personalizeable, colorful, office-desktop-appropriate-- that might serve the same purpose?

take a job improvement or wait for something better?

Anonymous — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 11:42:35 -0800

I apologize in advance for complaining about job choices when so many people would love to have that problem. That said, should I take this job that is an improvement but still not what I want? I am in my mid-to-late 20s and work as a consultant/software developer in a big city. I have been meaning to switch jobs for awhile since there are things I dislike about my position - the fact that I almost never work on a project start to finish, the disorganization of my company, the months spent at client sites where I do a lot of non-developing things (which is ok, but not, you know, great). There are still parts I enjoy which has made my need to look less urgent, but I would prefer to do more developing. Specifically I am hoping to find a job that focuses more on web development and UIs (which I do some of now, but not all the time). Also I'd probably prefer being a regular non-consultant employee somewhere and stay still for awhile.

Anyway I haven't actually gotten around to applying anywhere. And then I got contacted by a recruiter and long story short now have an offer. It's more money, but since there is no bonus and less other benefits it isn't that much more, so money isn't the issue. The job is also as a consultant but its full on-site development in a language I like, but its not web development or an area of my industry that specifically interests me, although I would probably enjoy the developing part well enough.

It would be more experience and I know I would learn a lot - on paper it seems logical - but something doesn't feel right, I'm not excited. The fact that they contacted me and not the other way around? That something rubbed me the wrong way about some of the other employees and their hiring process? It's not exactly what I want? Or that I am generally risk-adverse and may be looking for excuses for not having to change jobs?

Developer-specific question: Do places tend to hire web developers if they haven't been doing web stuff for the last year or two? I do want to work in web development eventually. Right now I do it maybe 50% of the time and this new place would be 0%, but I'd probably get better general full project lifecycle experience, does that balance out?

General question: If you don't hate your current job but still want to leave, is it worth taking a job that is currently better but not necessarily in the direction you want? Or wait around for something you are actually excited about? Should I try to do a proper search on my own, or am I being too picky?

Input from anyone with a similar experience is also appreciated.

Thanks!

Help me make specific suggestions to someone who needs to become more proactive and collaborative, and less reactive and emotional.

Anonymous — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 09:21:50 -0800

Help me make specific suggestions to someone who needs to become more proactive and collaborative, and less reactive and emotional. My girlfriend (who I live with) and I have recently had some major friction around what I perceive to be her less than proactive, largely passive approach to our relationship. She's a very quiet person who lacks confidence in herself (socially and otherwise) despite the fact that she's bright and accomplished (PhD, good publications, etc.). This might sound like an awful thing to say, but in my opinion she hasn't exactly "grown up" and taken on full responsibility for the direction of her life. We've recently had discussions about how she can be more proactive about raising issues in our relationship (versus just getting angry) and suggesting solutions in a collaborative way when issues do arise. We both acknowledge that I'm usually the one to offer solutions.

Yesterday she was informed by her employer that she was not meeting expectations and that she can either accept a demotion or leave the company. Thinking about it objective (as much as I can, of course), I think that it's a strong possibility that some of her behaviors that are negatively affecting our relationship might also have affected her prospects at work. Specifically, she can be quite emotional, non-collaborative, and critical (in a non-constructive way). Her manager confirmed that she wasn't taking enough initiative to drive projects at work.

She is having a very difficult time understanding why her colleagues have perceived her as having shortcomings. I am in the delicate position of trying to be as supportive as possible to her, but also wanting her to recognize this as an opportunity (wake up call?) to work on some serious issues that are impeding her growth in multiple areas of life. We discussed it, and I think that she took it well.

The question that I have is whether anyone has suggestions for dealing with these issues. I've suggested she investigate therapy as a potential avenue, but this sort of problem does not seem very clearly defined (versus, say "depression") and I wonder if therapy can help her with this. On the other hand, I don't want to leave it all up to her, because I think that (like most of us) she clearly doesn't recognize how people see her. The bottom line is that I'd like to make concrete suggestions to her for avenues that she can investigate to address these issues. Her simply saying "I'll be more proactive", without a plan, probably isn't going to inspire confidence at this point.

Whether our relationship works out or not, I still care for her and want her to be successful. I think these issues are really holding her back, and she's young enough (29) to address them before they become a serious impediment to her life.

Thanks very much for any advice.

Is the SLK 55 AMG really worth it?

Anonymous — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:21:26 -0800

'Best car for the money' questions have been asked over and over, but now it's my turn! I'm young, single, and fast... These 'best car for the money' questions have been asked over and over, but now it's my turn!

I am a young, single guy looking to buy my first car. I would like something sporty, but haven't actually driven that many 'sporty' cars.

My budget is no more than $35k. Looking at used cars only. Purchase date 3-6 months away. I am looking for a car that is simply fun to drive. It would be my daily commuter (and only car).

I have been looking at the Mercedes SLK 55 AMG 2005-2007 and have a few questions. How do the repair costs of the SLK 55 compare to that of the SLK 350/280? Is the SLK 55 worth the extra $5-7K over the lesser SLK models? I would love first hand accounts for anyone who has driven these cars.

I have also looked at the new 370Z but am unsure about the seemingly cheap plastic parts--door handles, interior components. I would love this car if it looked less like a toy. Is this a better option over the Mercedes?

I like the Porsche Boxster S and am wondering how it compares to the previous cars. I have heard the costs of ownership can be very high for Porsches. Is an older, higher-mileage 911 better than a newer Boxster?

I also realize insurance will be through the roof, but maybe some of these cars are cheaper to insure than others.

I would love any advice for a young professional looking for a fun, reliable car to drive. I really appreciate any and all input (maybe even some cars I forgot about). Thanks in advance!

Sorry for anonymous, just would like to maintain privacy about this (because of money, status associated with these kinds of cars). Throw away email: funcartodrive@gmail.com

Nerd seeks Leigh Steinberg

Anonymous — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 10:25:01 -0800

I'm a veteran software engineer / technical lead working for an internet company. I think I've got an opportunity to really cash in at my job, and need guidance on how best to do this. For the past two years I have been working on a product that is about to make my company some serious revenue.

Right now, I feel pretty irreplaceable. Because of some organizational turmoil and chronic understaffing, I have enormous development, management, and operational responsibilities. I have no backup for any of these roles. I have a good reputation in the company, as far as I know, and have done well-received presentations for our executives. I also have offers from other companies as a security blanket.

There will be a short window of opportunity for me to cash in, between the time when the deal to sell the product is signed and the time when I can train up whatever new staff comes along. Our product is a B2B thing with significant professional service opportunities. It's not turnkey. During this window, the sale will live and die on my efforts.

I would like to capitalize on that in a career-defining way. Exactly how I'll do that, I'm not sure. I have some ideas, but I need help with them.

So: I would like to hire someone who can give me a reality check, who can help me hone my pitch and define my requirements, and who has a background in business, negotiation, and contract law. I want this person to help me look like I know exactly what I'm doing. I don't think I want to hire someone to do the actual negotiating; I want more of an advisor. Can anyone suggest where to find such a person? I am in Seattle so if you have a recommendation in this area, that'd be especially cool.