Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with Wedding

July Honeymoon in Maine?

kraigory — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 14:51:43 -0800

What are some good places to Honeymoon on the east coast? See explanation. My fiance and I are getting married in early June and want to go on our honeymoon somewhere in the northeast, near Maine. We would like to be near a beach but also near mountains for hiking and sightseeing. We would definitely like to stay in a private cabin with an affordable rate, near a cute little town that isn't too touristy but still has things to do.

Any ideas? I also hear that North/South Carolina have some neat places, so anywhere on the east coast would work, but we were thinking Maine for the mild weather.

Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated!

Where to get married in Southern California if you care more about the cultural aspects of the venue rather than the traditional wedding things???

copernicus — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 16:47:19 -0800

Need help finding a really unique wedding/reception venue in Southern California that melds cultures! Although my fiancee and I are very similar culturally, we are also very different. Neither of us are religious, but she comes from a Muslim background, and I Hindu. She is of Pakistani origin, and I Indian. And of course, in the end we are both American. So we are trying to find a unique California venue that captures all of that. My fiancee and I are from Chicago, but we are getting married in Southern California. As far as which part of Southern California, we are very open- basically anything from San Diego all the way up to Santa Barbara.

The exact location is less important than the theme of the venue. We chose California because of its deep Spanish history and architecture. California, to us, serves as almost a proxy to Spain in that it melds some of the Moorish, Mediterranean, Eastern/Western cultures that we are trying to incorporate in our wedding.

Our ideal location would be a Mission, but unfortunately neither of us are catholic, so that is out. What we love about the Missions is the history, the architecture, and the story.

So, we are trying to target hirtorical buildings, locations, venues, villas, ranches, anything that has a story and would serve as a unique wedding venue.

Hive mind, what you got???

Who gives great vows in NOLA?

mostlymartha — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 11:54:22 -0800

Who should marry us in New Orleans? I read this recent question, but our situation has a few differences. We're getting hitched in NOLA in April. We live in San Francisco, so we're doing most of the planning long distance, but will be in the city in January for face to face meeetings. First, my fiance and I are Christian (both raised Presbyterian), but we're not major church people. Ideally, we'd like a mild to moderate God presence in the ceremony. Judge KK Norman who was mentioned in the thread sounded great, but we're getting married in a hotel courtyard, and I don't know that judges do ceremonies not in their courtroom. We'll go ULC person if we have to, but it's not our preference as my fiance got ordained as a ULC minister when he was a young punk as a joke, so he has a hard time taking them at all seriously. As a final added complication, without meaning to we planned the ceremony for April 2, which is Good Friday. In retrospect, that was a little boneheaded, but we're too late in the process to change it now. This may make it tricky to get an actual minister.

Still, is there a justice of the peace, traveling judge, or minister you'd recommend?

Is there an egg timer on the registry?

kittyprecious — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 08:53:26 -0800

I'm going to marry my friends! In record time! How do I make it meaningful with a five-minute limit? A very close friend of many years and his longtime girlfriend whom I adore have just bought a house and decided to have a combination wedding/reception-housewarming-NYE* party. They asked me to officiate the wedding--and I'm honored--but they want the ceremony to be very quick, so I'm left wondering what I can actually do. They're nonreligious and aren't saying vows and have said it's basically up to me. I've read this (and I loved asavage's suggestions, especially the crowd affirmation) and this and this, but paring it down seems really tough.

*Yes, it's a short lead time, I know.

Do I have to invite my father to the wedding?

gauche — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 06:21:23 -0800

Should I invite my estranged father to my wedding? I recently became engaged to a wonderful woman, and we are planning our wedding. I am torn about whether I should invite my father to the wedding. Before you say, "of course you should, he's your father" let me explain.

I was always very close to my father, growing up; I was the oldest of five, and his clear favorite in ways that made me feel uncomfortable and a little guilty. Six years ago, my father confided in me that he was having an affair. He asked me to keep it quiet from my mother, who was then his wife, and from my siblings. After considering the position he had put me in, I told him that keeping this secret put me on his side, and that I could not take his side in an affair like this. I told him that he had to come clean about it to my mother or I would have to tell her my, for the sake of my own conscience. After that conversation, our relationship turned very ugly. I saw a side of my father that I had never seen before: manipulative, deceitful, selfish, and cruel.

I was between jobs at the time, so I found work in another time zone and moved away, in part to put distance between myself and this situation. Soon after I left, he divorced my mother. Two of my sisters have not spoken to him since; the other is coolly cordial; my brother is in the armed services, and does his best to avoid this side of the country entirely. It is all very painful and fraught with avoidance.

Over the years, I have tried to re-establish my relationship with my father on several occasions, but invariably I am disappointed by our encounters. I am very hurt and angry, and we can make cordial small-talk but that is about it. I feel that he has violated my trust, and I don't think we can have a relationship until he earns it back. I am willing to consider him earning it back, and indeed I would like him to do so. He does not believe that he has hurt me, or is unwilling to do anything to show that he is sorry for having done so. Every time I see him, I lose my emotional footing for several days afterwards.

Having made a number of unsuccessful attempts to get him to even acknowledge the betrayal I feel, I consider us to be estranged, with occasional, brief contact. I certainly want to remain open to the possibility of reconciliation, but I do not hold out much hope for it.

In the circumstances, the wedding is a sort of crisis, in that if I do not invite him, that has implications which I do not want to make ("you are dead to me") but if I do invite him, that too has implications ("you are a part of my life"). Further, I feel like his presence will cast a pallor over my mother, my sisters, my brother, and my maternal grandfather. It will certainly dim my own mood. My fiancee has never met my father, and she would rather he did not attend because it will spoil the mood of the day and bring up old wounds for my family, who have been very good to her.

I don't want him at my wedding, but I don't want to foreclose an eventual reconciliation either. One thing I am very proud of about the past six years is that I have not said anything to him that cannot be unsaid. No matter how hurt I was, I haven't burned the bridge. In order to do that, I have sometimes had to be silent -- for years at a time -- instead. With the wedding, I cannot fail to say something, one way or another. What am I supposed to do?

Pick our presents!

mittenbex — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 17:49:24 -0800

We're getting married! GREAT. Now, what do we register for? We're 25 and 31. Both out of our parents house for years but neither of us are what can be considered 'well stocked' on the housewares front.

Between us we have two lamps, two twin beds (yikes), a futon, coffee table, an oldddddd recliner that I'm afraid will NOT be joining us at our future mutual home, several TVs and limited amounts of cookware.

We know to register for all the 'regular' stuff you see on those 'suggestion' lists provided to you by the stores when you register.

We're looking for unique items you might have obtained over the years that you find to be godsend. Couldn't live without or wouldn't want to at least.

Items of any sort. We are not opposed to asking for fun stuff!

We: both like to cook, go camping, have movie marathons, read, have an appreciation for the 50s and 60s type Americana decor.

I know he'd love to be set up with a good tool set but isn't really a hand person (more would like to learn to be) so he'd like to know what are the essential things to obtain.

So - either suggestions for lesser known items. OR recommendations for brands of cookware/towels/bedding/etc thare are good quality but not too pricey. Neither of us are into the whole fancy schmancy brand stuff. We are both practical but still appreciate quality.

Thanks guys!

Getting married next may, what's the etiquette for inviting friends of parents.

valadil — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 07:13:26 -0800

All my recently married friends said that most of their wedding drama came from their parents asking to invite friends. My parents have begun campaigning for a few of their friends to be invited. What's the correct response? If we tell them yes, does that mean that my fiancee's parents should also get friend invites? Or does it depend on who kicked in how much money?

We don't want to be jerks but we also don't want to be doormats about this. What's appropriate in this situation?

Marriage gifts for coworkers in India

hackwolf — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 07:31:37 -0800

Help me find excellent wedding gifts for my coworkers in India! Both of the guys that I work with in India are getting married next week, and I just found out about it. I live in the US, so obviously I can't attend, but I'd like to get them each something nice for their wedding and as a thank-you for a year of hard work on this project. I'd like to keep it around $100-150 USD per person if possible, but they don't have wedding registries and I'm culturally clueless (even about my own culture).

I've been working with both of them for about 9 months now, but we've only met face-to-face once and I don't really know that much about them other than they're nice enough to chat with in the company canteen, so I don't know of anything really personal that I could get them. I'd be happy to give them cash, but I'm not sure how that would be taken, and if $100 would be seen as too stingy or too generous as a personal gift. We're all employees of HugeComputerCompany that has an employee discount store, so there isn't much in the way of consumer electronics they can't get for themselves cheaply. If it helps, one of the guys is local to Bangalore, the other is from up north (though I can't remember exactly where); one is an arranged marriage and the other is a love marriage. Also, I'm not their manager, but I am the technical lead on the project they're working on.

New York City Wedding Planner

L'homme armé — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 01:51:13 -0800

Can you recommend a good wedding planner for a New York City wedding? Can anyone offer recommendations or advice about finding a good wedding planner who works in Manhattan?

I'm looking for someone
(1) to make sure the day-of goes smoothly
(2) to help separate the wheat from the chaff on vendors, locations, and service providers - but with freedom to pick our own vendors independently if we want to
(3) to allow us to plan the religious part of the ceremony completely independently
(4) to reduce our stress by making sure we don't forget anything
(5) to respect the vision that we already have for the wedding and make it happen - we need help with implementation details, not the overall design

We strongly prefer traditional/elegant to trendy. We are willing to spend money to get someone good.

Any thoughts, warnings, suggestions? General advice about picking a planner or other sites where reliable reviews of wedding planners are posted would also be helpful.

Southern California Rehearsal Dinner Recommendations

theexpgen — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 06:23:05 -0800

Help me find a great Long Beach or North Orange County restaurant for my rehearsal dinner. The dinner is on the 7th of January, a Thursday, and somewhere between 20 and 30 people will be attending. I of course want the food to be good, but really, I care more about the overall experience. The place doesn't need to be fancy, but it can't be too casual. Bonus points for fancy Mexican food or seafood, a spot on the water or a private/semi-private room. Long Beach, CA is the preferred location but Northern Orange County or Southern LA could work as well. Thanks in advance.

Can I hire someone to create a Paper Source-like image?

semacd — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 06:00:10 -0800

I want to copy the Paper Source feel for my wedding font and motif. How can I do that? A few related questions here. #1. I like the font the Paper Source uses in their own ads and informational materials. Can anyone suggest where I could download a similar font? (Bonus points for free.) I've been searching but don't even really know what category of fonts that would fall under. #2. I want to pay an artist to make me a custom motif that has the feel of the paper source dragonfly (but ours would be a totally different image) in the sense that it looks sort of rough and imperfect like a stamp or maybe a woodcutting. I want to be able to use that little custom motif on my invitations, program, website, welcome packet, etc. So (a) where should I advertise for that project and (b) how much should I pay and (c) how should I describe it? I already hired one graphic artist but he has been creating pretty/cutesy obviously computer-generated motifs that remind me of clipart and it's really not the look I'm after.

Help the fashion clueless dress for a wedding!

bluloo — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 16:19:13 -0800

Dress Filter: I've never been to a wedding before. Help me figure out what to wear! So, this is my first big wedding that I've been to. It is in December, in Michigan, so warmth is a factor (although it will obviously be inside, but I've been told there will be moving between buildings). The ceremony is at 4pm. I had picked out this dress to wear with some sparkly shoes and dark tights, but the website changed collections before I could order it. It seems like they have an archive section, but it hasn't been added there yet, so I thought I might call customer service and see if there was anything they could do on that front (I really loved that dress).

But, if that isn't a possibility, help me pick another dress. Some info about me: I'm 5'11, a size 14/16 (in the process of losing weight) which I carry disproportionately in my tummy (although Spanx help!), and I have dark brown hair, brown eyes, and light skin. I'm hoping not to spend more than $150 (poor college student), though for the right dress I will (especially if it's something I can wear again to special occasions). Bonus points for matching shoes (size 11) and/or wraps/accessories. So, help me Hive Mind! :-)

In search of a NOLA floral rockstar

mostlymartha — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 15:02:09 -0800

Do you have any recommendations for an awesome (but not crazy expensive) florist in New Orleans? We're getting married there in April 2010 and planning the wedding from San Francisco, so it's hard to know where to start. This is the second installment of Beg Askme for Help with Our NOLA Wedding. The first was regarding the venue; we ended up choosing the Dauphine Orleans. Now I'm thinking about flowers. It's a small wedding (28 people) with a small wedding party. It's going to be held in a really pretty outdoor courtyard, so we won't need just heaps of flowers for decoration.

Our tastes in floral design (there's a phrase I never thought I'd write) are sort of contemporary and nontraditional. I want my bouquet to be orange, for example. Our budget is smallish but reasonable for the size of the affair. Any suggestions for a rockstar florist?

What goofy, funny, insightful thing would you put in a wedding rsvp?

amme — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:59:45 -0800

What silly or insightful quotation (or object) could I include with a wedding rsvp card? My younger sister is getting married, and she sent me an rsvp card to her wedding, even though I'm obviously going to attend. We are not traditional at all (perhaps crass), and the formality of weddings is funny to us. I don't want to waste this stamp and will return the invite. What silly, goofy, insightful quotation (or object) could I include with this card?

Help me not fail as a maid of honor.

toomuchkatherine — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:57:03 -0800

Help me not epically fail as my sister's maid of honor. My younger sister is getting married! She asked me to be her maid of honor, which is sweet. (She'll be 28 at the time of the wedding, next October; I'm 3 years older.) I've been to a handful of weddings but am not married and have never been in a bridal party before. So my question is, what do I need to do as a maid of honor? I've never been into or great at 'girly' stuff, so I'm approaching this with some trepidation...

On one hand, I just don't know what a maid of honor is supposed to do, beyond planning a bachelorette party and helping keep the bride calm and happy on the day of the wedding. I'm prepared to help with wedding plans as requested, but is there something I'm supposed to be proactive about? Is the bachelorette party supposed to be a surprise? What the heck is a bridal shower?

My sister doesn't drink at all, though she doesn't mind other people drinking. The bachelorette party won't be dry, but she's probably not down for an out-all-night, penis-shaped-cakes type bash. We also live in different cities, as do all of the bridesmaids. It seems crazy to have people fly into my sister's town once for a bachelorette party and then again for the wedding -- or is that kind of expected? The wedding is 11 months away...when should I kick into maid-of-honor high gear?

Any and all tips appreciated. I think my biggest fear is that I just won't do something I'm supposed to do, or won't get excited about something I'm supposed to be excited about (shopping for wedding dresses? choosing flowers? sometimes I can't help but wonder if she should have picked somebody perkier for this job), and that I'll be forever remembered as basically a lame M.O.H.

Thank you.

HELP! Need Wedding Playlist!!

madmamasmith — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 01:35:50 -0800

HELP! I am (was) using my ipod instead of a DJ for my wedding that is in 10 days and it just CRASHED! It synched to my computer without warning and now all my wedding playlists are GONE! I'm a dope and only very recently started using an external hard drive...long story short I need help to rebuild my wedding playlists. With the stress of the wedding planning I cant even remember to poop, let alone the collection of music ive been building for years!! I would appreciate ANY and ALL recommendations but I need the most help with the dance portion. I love all kinds of music from all eras and I want to make sure there are some dance hits from my school days ie TLC, SWV etc but I also want to play some newer hits and I am suffering serious brain fart. I'm also 6 months pregnant so I have baby brain as they say.

So far my playlists are thus (in a nutshell)

Preceremony/seating:

sun kil moon, joni mitchell, elvis, alasdair roberts, some instrumental stuff etc., peter gabriel

Dinner/Cocktail:

cocteau twins, yo la tango, van morrison, fleetwood mac, sufjan stevens, nina simone, otis redding, nuetral milk hotel

Dancing:

MGMT, MIA, Soldia Boy, JAson Derulo, Kool & the gang, outkast, madonna, pssion pit, cure, aha, TI, iggy pop, peter bjorn and john, daftpunk, the knife, george michael.......

I've narrowed it down to fancier than jeans less formal than a ballgown.

Kellydamnit — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 08:36:44 -0800

What should I wear to a Salvation Army wedding? I'm sure most people will be in their uniforms, but needless to say that's not an option for me. The bride and groom are both elderly, and the reception will be held in the social hall at the church, so I don't think it will be super formal. Most of my nicer stuff is black, but given their ages (he's 80ish, she's in her 70s) I don't know if that would be too "modern" for the circumstances. Would a black skirt and pastel blouse be OK? Party dress? I'm totally lost. Unfortunately I'm going as the guest of my boyfriend, who is utterly clueless about appropriate fashion for this sort of thing, so asking him is out.

MetaStyle: Help a stylishly challenged person get the perfect dress.

magnoliasouth — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 08:14:40 -0800

Help me (a plus-sized picky person) pick out an affordable, versatile dress to wear to a December wedding. I have no sense of style and I hate shopping for dresses; there are several reasons why too.

1. I have gained a lot of weight since an injury, so I'm around a size 18 and probably a 20 in some dresses. I feel like I look fat in EVERYTHING. I have thin nicely shaped legs though, but my torso is another story.
2. I don't like wearing dresses at all and I only shop for new cocktail/semi-formal dresses about every ten years. I am very picky.
3. I look terrible in many colors. I have almost an Eastern European look where my hair is medium to dark reddish brown, but my skin is very fair. Yellows and reds are out.
4. I prefer green and not just any green, but close to sage. I have only one feature that I'm proud of and that is my green eyes. Sage makes them striking and I nearly always get a compliment on my eyes.
5. I have to have something which hides my armpits. I have skin tags that I hate and am mortified over. Several times I've been to the doctor to have them removed, and every single time there wasn't "time" to do it. It's as though I'm destined to deal with them forever and always.
6. I need something that is about $75 or less, if possible.
7. Since I don't shop often for stuff like this, it needs to be versatile enough to wear for Christmas parties (et al) too.

Phew!

I like this dress, in Sage, but again, no sleeves and I'm not entirely sure how it would look on me anyway.

So, any ideas? If I get the above dress, what kind of wrap could I wear with it or sweater, or something else? I can't leave it sleeveless. Is there another dress out there which would be a better option?

I'm at a loss.

Let's Twist Again!

whodatninja — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:06:37 -0800

Help me put together a wedding playlist that will get people dancing! My friend has asked me to help her put together a wedding playlist (in leui of a DJ). The reception music will be mostly old music in the Sinatra vein. They don't want music that is too modern. I've got that part more than covered, but we need to get a few fast songs in there too, to get people out on the floor. I've considered some swing, and I'm going to put in "Shout" and the Twist, but that's as modern as it will go. Help me think of some other old songs that will get young people up and dancing!

Ring Bling

outsider — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 16:27:18 -0800

Buying antique diamond engagement ring, appraisal or just go with it? I am engaged, I asked, she said yes. We are buying a ring together. We went to 2 jewelers to look around and nothing really had much of a soul.. it was kind of like tell us how much $$$ you have, and we will give you as big a hunk of carbon as you can afford, down to the dollar. We didnt find anything either of us liked.

We went to an antique jewelery shop in beverly hills and found something we really like... according to the owner it is platinum and edwardian, early 1900s. A unique design, lots of very nice filegree work with a bombe shape and 5 smallish diamonds set down the middle. We were both drawn to it immediately, and I think it is perfect.

Now, the problem, how do I know I am not getting ripped off here?

The good points:

1. This is a reputable store in beverly hills, there are famous people who get jewelery from here to wear for events, they have an armed guard, the whole bit, so its not like buying from some random guy from ebay or in an antique show... I feel like anything I am going to buy from here is legit.

2. This piece is one of the cheapest pieces in the store... we looked at many other things first that were 4-5 times as expensive and were kind of surprised when we heard the price for this ring (we were about to leave, everything else was way out of our price range), although it is not nearly as bling as the others. This for some reason makes me feel less like he is trying to rip me off, its small potatoes for him and not worth any ding to his reputation if he somehow misrepresented his inventory.

I am taking this guy at his word that this is an antique ring, that it is platinum, that the diamonds are real ect. We looked at rings for a whole day and you can tell that this one was crafted really well compared to many others... it is very sparkly, I cant see any imperfections with my naked eye.

OK bottom line, I like the ring, I have a good vibe from the owner and establishment, I negotiated the price down about 15% by paying cash, it is right at the $$ amount I want to spend. Should I just bite the bullet or should I be cautious and hire some 3rd party to verify everything and give me an estimate? I dont know anyone who knows anything about rocks.

Thanks!

Wedding of the Living Dead

elvissa — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 14:40:29 -0800

Help me make a zombie wedding cake. The people that I work with are CRAZY about halloween. This year's theme is Zombie Vegas, and I have been assigned the task of making a wedding cake for the Zombie wedding chapel. I am not a big fan of halloween, but this is my small contribution.

I am a pretty good baker and have lots of equipment (different size & shape pans, stand mixer, icing bag and multiple tip sizes, etc). I am planning on using cake mix from a box and homemade French buttercream icing. I can make things pretty, but I'm helpless as far as making things scary.

Right now the best idea I have is making some kind of strawberry/raspberry filling to look bloody. Any suggestions to make the cake look gross/scary and any help from experienced wedding cake bakers is welcome.

How do I make a costume out of a wedding dress?

libertypie — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 13:41:55 -0800

How can I turn a wedding dress into a Halloween costume without destroying the thing? Okay, so it's not quite a wedding dress (it's a debutante dress, actually), but it's pretty, and conceivably could be used by someone for actual marriage so I don't necessarily want to smother it in fake blood. It has a pretty typical circle hem and straps.

That said, if someone has an amazing costume idea I'll drag the thing behind a freaking truck. I just feel like the "zombie bride" thing is a little bit done and am curious what else the hivemind has lurking in its recesses. The crazier the better.

Print-on-demand presents?

cuddles.mcsnuggy — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:27:43 -0800

Is there such a thing as an online vendor from whom I can purchase print-on-demand gift certificates as a wedding gift that I can put in today's mail? So I have some friends who were married several weeks ago and I couldn't go to the wedding. Mainly out of forgetfulness (with a touch of lazy), I have not yet procured a gift. They've said they don't really want gifts but I still wanted to send a token of some sort. The couple is in their late 40s who already have an established home and children and don't need appliances or other things to get their household started. They live in another town so I'd like to mail them a modest gift card or certificate -- something fun or sweet and appropriate for a newly married couple, that they can use online or at some kind of specialty retailer.

I've had the wedding card here waiting to be sent for some time, so if there's a way I can print off a gift cert. today that would be ideal -- instead of ordering something and waiting for it to come to me before I can send it. I'm not interested in generic retailers like Amazon, Target, William Sonoma, etc. Also not interested in "(Edible thing) of the Month" arrangements. I'm thinking more along the lines of a certificate for something like wines, desserts, interesting/odd household items, or other newlyweddish stuff. Anyone have ideas?

Pre-wedding shave in Toronto

dismitree — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 07:36:27 -0800

Pre-wedding shave in Toronto: Where should I go this Saturday for a straight blade shave? Downtown preferred but I do have a car. Also, not to sound snarky, but would prefer recommendations based on personal experience vs. places that just look the part. (i.e. Old school barbers are cool, Shakey-handed old school barbers not so much.)

Wedding commitment symbol that is not a ring?

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 14:22:13 -0800

Let's say you want to marry someone, but they don't want a ring. This would be because the person doesn't ever wear rings, not wanting to draw attention to their hands (long story, just know that hand-oriented things are out). What other options are there for a wedding token? Are there cool options from cultures that do not have the wedding ring as part of their history? Any non-hand-based suggestions are welcome.