Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with WTF

Scratch n' Skip

cmoj — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 14:48:23 -0800

I have SRV mp3s that skip in exactly the same way as a CD I have. I've had a Stevie Ray Vaughan CD for as long as I can remember. I think it's from a remastered boxed set from the early 90's. Also, as long as I can remember it's skipped in places (you know, CD type skipping), but kept playing, so I dealt with it.

Nowadays I've got downloaded mp3s of all of this SRV material I already had on CD. Here's the weird thing: the mp3s skip in the same way as my old compilation CD. Even weirder, I don't have mp3s of that specific compilation. I believe the skipping is on an In Step reissue that's marked as being from 1999.

What's the deal? What could be the deal?

WTF Disney?

chicago2penn — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 11:18:51 -0800

Disney movies: Why is The Princess and the Frog not considered to be inappropriate or racist along the same lines asSong of the South? I saw the Princess and the Frog last night. It was adorable, and I laughed and had a generally good time. However, there were several elements of it which reminded me of the Uncle Remus stories.

1) Uncle Remus is heavily criticized for its use of black Southern dialect. The Princess and the Frog uses Creole accents in much the same way.

2) It seems as if The Princess and the Frog plays as much into stereotype as Uncle Remus, just in a different time period... a poor black woman whose only dream in life is to be promoted from being a waitress to owning her own restaurant. Both she and her parents work servile jobs to rich, white people.

3) All the lightning bugs seem to be funny, but ultimately mean stereotypes of backwoods, backwards Cajuns. Voodoo. The Shadow Man? Mama Odie?

If you want to say it's trying to give an "historically accurate" portrayal of 1920's New Orleans, what is different about 1920's New Orleans and 1850's Mississippi?

What is the difference between portraying classic stereotypical "Uncle Remus and Aunt Jemimah" characters, and lesser-known/written about Creoles?

What is this crazy flag?

Optimus Chyme — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:07:20 -0800

What crazy flag is this?

Stop worrying and love the boy

Anonymous — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:06:34 -0800

A medical issue has caused memories of rape to resurface and ruin my sex life. I have no money for therapy. Do I have any options other than being a mess and making both me and boyfriend totally miserable? About seven years ago, when I was a teen, I was drugged by a seemingly friendly guy and his companions, stuffed into the back of a car, and gang raped all night in a strange apartment. In the morning, they drove me to the edge of town and left me, bleeding and half-dressed. Somehow I wound up at a hospital, was treated for internal uterine lacerations and other complications, and sent on my merry way.

I've had years of therapy to mitigate the obvious ramifications. Some catharsis was reached when the men were apprehended and accordingly sentenced. It took a very, very long time to trust men again, but now I'm in a healthy relationship with the best guy in the world for the past 8 months. He knows my past and has been unflaggingly supportive. Our sex life is (was?) really great, though a little spotty during times when I'd fall in a funk. A month or two ago I had some medical complications arising from old tears and scar tissue in my uterus, which caused heavy bleeding, cramping, loss of soft tissue, extreme fatigue, anemia etc. I've been in and out of the hospital for weeks, and my boyfriend and I couldn't have sex until I was cleared by my OB/GYN. Meanwhile, my subconscious has re-forged a connection between sex and pain/rape that leaves me mortified of any remotely sexual activity.

Today I was cleared, but I'm terrified of having sex. Rationally I know I'm fine, and that consensual sex is good and fun, but even non-intercourse things leave me terrified. I have vivid nightmares of the rape all over again, something I haven't gone through since the first three years after I was attacked.

I have no money for therapy. All my money has gone to paying, out of pocket, my medical bills. I've tried some of the free and sliding scale therapists in NYC, but they were all bad fits or generally unhelpful. The only therapists that have worked for me in the past have been highly skilled, very expensive professionals who are experienced with victims of extreme sexual trauma. The hospital case worker was so overworked that she had my file switched with another patient's file and didn't realize her mistake until 45 minutes into a 50-minute session.

I don't want to lose this guy (who has a naturally high sex drive and has been swallowing his frustration and putting on a kind, brave face for my part) and our sex life to these harrowing anxieties. I know it's not his fault, I know he didn't cause this pain, but the very idea of sex has me bound in knots. I feel so incredibly guilty, despite my boyfriend's seemingly endless patience and understanding.

Are there any books I can read that address anxieties over sex among rape survivors? Any affordable therapy recommendations or other information can be directed to: anonymouseandbee@gmail.com

Help me identify this animal we've not seen

bodgy — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:23:11 -0800

What is living in my yard and what do I do about it? I live in Central IL. Lately our dogs (chihuahua) have been acting weird around our bushes next to our back deck, acting like they see something from the deck and then running around to bark at the bushes. We've heard no noises coming back from the bushes but we figured something was living there.

Tonight it happened again and we investigated the exact location and found two holes in the ground. One is a hole straight down and about two inches in diameter. The other hole, about 3 feet away, is more slanted downward at a slope and is much larger, five inches in diameter.

These holes are right by the foundation of our house.

What do we have there, and what do we do about it? And what is our least expensive option to fix this situation?

Finally, based on this information, how worried should we be that something will attack our chihuahua?

(As an aside, in the field behind our yard we saw a baby possum that our dogs barked at. We haven't seen them in our yard but it's the only "critter" type thing we've seen lately other than rabbits which we do see in our yard from time to time).

What's My Name Again?

ericc — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 08:55:33 -0800

I cannot, for the life of me, figure out this person's name. She says it, right there in plain language, but I just can't catch it. Does the name sound familiar? I kinda think the last name is Gomez, but even that I'm not so sure of.

What might one see hiking in the woods at night that looks like glowing eyes?

weston — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 18:31:52 -0800

What might one see hiking in the woods at night that looks like glowing eyes? A couple of years ago I was part of a hiking party of three to some hot springs in Utah (Diamond Fork). We started late and took a trail we didn't know well. Two hours into the hike, not only were we not finding our destination, but the woods were getting denser and darker, blocking the moonlight, and we were getting progressively more spooked. About 1 am, we stopped to discuss turning around and giving up. This was when a random flashlight probe into the nearby trees revealed... two spark-ish points light that looked for all the world like eyes.

We held the beam there for a moment and asked amongst ourselves to see if everybody thought the same thing. Each of us confirmed this.

Now, at this point, we were pretty much thinking/hoping it might be reflections of dew, or maybe some woodland creature like an owl or a deer. When we moved the flashlight beam away for a bit to test the reflection theory... the points of light remained.

We moved the beam back. The points were still there. We stared for a bit and again asked each other for visual confirmation, getting increasingly nervous. Then they were gone.

We decided to get back as quickly as possible.

Any ideas what we might have seen?

(While I appreciate the fact that the human mind has a large capacity to play tricks on itself, I'm particularly interested in other explanations.)

Why did Halloween not happen on Halloween?

bondcliff — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 08:06:05 -0800

Why did we go trick-or-treating the night before (or the night after) Halloween one year when I was a kid? One year in the late 70s or early 80s we went out trick or treating the night of October 30th rather than the 31st. It may have been on November 1st but I'm 98.3% sure it was the 30th. This was some sort of officially sanctioned thing, possibly promoted by the schools, government and/or media. It was not just limited to my family and friends. I don’t know if it was local to my town (Boston ‘burbs), the state, or national. I don’t think I’m imaging it because I remember The Cool Kids claimed they were going to go out on Halloween as well, to get double the candy. I’m pretty sure we got no trick-or-treaters on October 31st because everyone complied with the change of nights.

Do you also remember this? Was it only a local thing? What was the reason for it? Am I crazy?

Dark Corners: huh?

Iosephus — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 18:35:44 -0800

Plateofbeaning Dark Corners the movie? Oddities, trivia and overanalysis for your amusement. Spoilers inside, I'm sure. Having just watched Dark Corners, which I found quite interesting, I noticed several oddities that I don't know if they go only as far as tidbits and trivia, or instead might be winks to something. Plus one truly WTF moment for bonus.

1) In the mortuary there seems to be a fireplace. It is decorated with the prominently displayed "AUDI VIDE TACE" motto betweena pair of things that look like cowbells. Google suggests this is some masonic motto. Wha?

2) Susan parades around the las minutes of the movie in a t-shirt that blatantly cries "Camp Watexa". Google=fail. Wha? bis.

3) What the hell are we supposed to make of the evil kid that bites off a chunk of Karen's leg? Some extra Freudian wink I'm not in the know about?

4) WTF bonus: on the second hypnotherapy session, Susan wakes up and there's a big hairy male arm just, er, grabbing her boob. She doesn't seem to realize, and there's noone around her sofa that arm belongs to. I can't imagine this is a blooper, boob grabbing, come on?

So now, my kid is a shoplifter. Grumpy neighbor relations ensue.

Anonymous — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 08:15:32 -0800

My kid spent the night with his friend. The next day, thinking he's still at the friend's house, I get a phone call from the local grocery store. Seems my kid was shoplifting. Now, both of the mom's involved are angry with each other. I'm posting this anonymously, because I don't want my son to find this. The details are kind of ugly. Throwaway email at shopliftersmom@gmail.com. Apologies for the length.

The boys are 12 and 13. Mine is the younger one.

My son spent the night with his best friend. I'm friends and neighbors with the parents. The boys have had sleepover pretty often, both here and there. The last time their boy was over, we caught him smoking in the bathroom after we'd hidden every possible bit of tobacco and alcohol in the house. He's been known to steal cigarettes from his own parents and has been, in general, a troubled kid.

Saturday afternoon, I thought my boy was still at the friend's place, playing video games or whatever, when I get the call from the local grocery store. My son had been caught shoplifting.

I went and picked him up. The people there were more than reasonable. Actually, they were very, very kind. They'd even considered just letting him go, but I was glad they didn't. I figure if you're going to get in trouble, you might as well learn a lesson from it. He and his friend had walked there and my son said he was thirsty, but had no money, so he took a soda. We've been shopping at this place for years. They know me, my kids, and the other family involved. The store also has the best water fountain in town, just for the record.

He says his friend had no idea of what he'd done, which I find hard to believe. He'd asked them to let his friend go home, and they did.

Here's the tricky part. My kid is a straight A student with no history of bad behavior. His friend, on the other hand, has recently been allowed back to regular school, so there's a lot at stake for him if he gets caught misbehaving.

I tried to call the other parents before I left to get my son and they weren't home. The oldest daughter had been left with the phone and responsibility for the kids in their house. The boys left before the other parents did. The other parents also weren't home when I got back and went to collect my son's things. They didn't even know about the incident until Sunday. No, I didn't call. I was pretty angry and didn't want to be venting at the wrong target. On Sunday, the other mom called and left a message, which I tried to return, but got voice mail. Then, she showed up at my door and came on in, like usual. She seemed surprised that I was aggravated with her at all and stomped off mad at me. I mean, we usual have coffee or drinks together regularly, and I can't be grumpy about this?

Here's my beef. They left not knowing where the boys were. What they do know is that their son gets in trouble pretty often. No one called me to say they were leaving because they left their teenage daughter home and in charge. When they did find out what happened 24 hours later, there was nothing even remotely like a "sorry I lost track of your kid when he was in my care." And, their kid has a history of this kind of crap and mine doesn't. The boys' stories also don't entirely match up, and the other boy took an attitude with me when I picked up my son's things.

I know kids make stupid mistakes, and believe me, we are having repercussions. He's grounded. He's written letters of apology to the two folks whose day he made worse at the store. I sure don't see anymore sleepovers for a while at anyone's house.

We've all known about various dysfunctions with the other household. The mom I'm talking about has often come over to vent, and my kids have been considered positive influences to their kids. My kids know they are loved, but I'm generally one of those moms who doesn't take any crap.

I know this is long, but I guess my biggest questions are:

1. How I should feel about this and deal with it appropriately.
2. How I should feel about the other mom, who has been a long-time friend of the family, getting angry with me for feeling angry with her? She seemed super-offended that I was put out with her at all. If the situations had been reversed, I think I would have gotten a lot more grief.
3. This family friendship has been pretty one-sided for a long time. Is it time to just write it off as too much trouble?

Too Stuffed to Jump!

Pressed Rat — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 11:38:55 -0800

Way too far from Nogales - can anyone help me replace my stuffed frog on a motorcycle? I used to have a stuffed frog on a motorcycle, just like on the Amazing Rhythm Aces' 2nd album cover, that I got years ago when I was at the border in Arizona. It's dried out and long gone. I must have another. Anyone know where to find one online, or that I can otherwise have mailed to me? Thanks!

Severe mac/python question

emptyinside — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:34:02 -0800

So I was fiddling with commands in the python interpreter via the Terminal. I ran this basically, and was messing with the help system. fileHandle = open ( 'test.txt', 'w' ) ; fileHandle.write (' asdasd^3 '); fileHandle.close(); And all of a sudden this application opened. Python shell is it's name, it has no icon. WTF is going on?

Pride and Judice

Anonymous — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:53:16 -0800

How do I defend myself against a spiteful landlord? In January, I was training for a job and I came home late when I realized that I forgot my keys inside. None of the doorbells were in operation and no one was answering the phone. It was cold as hell so after an hour, I chipped the bottom half of the fiberglass of the storm-door so I could reach the knob and let myself In. He had me arrested the next day.

The charge (so far as I know) is criminal mischief in the 4th degree. I can settle out of court for $270 dollars. I feel he is ganking me because only the fiber glass was damaged and it is replaceable.

Having me arrested was retaliatory because I was already willing to pay to fix the door. He and I were already at loggerheads over the state of disrepair of the building and the old wiring which caused frequent black-outs in the dead-of winter. Plus, his absurd stinginess with the heat.

I stopped by there today (I since moved out) with a guy I hired to fix the door. My guy said we can simply go buy a fiberg-glass screen at Home-Depot for $60 and replace it. The landlord was irate and threatened to call the cops. I in turn proceeded to curse him out and communication lines are closing fast. part of me wants to just pay and not deal with this anymore and another part of me wants to fight this because I know I'm being taken advantage of. What recourse do I have for fighting this so that it is a fair to me?

Code Blue

nax — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 15:01:39 -0800

Why, when I cut and paste original Word docs into my blog, does all this hidden html code (or something) show up? At first I thought it was just stuff I copied off the web, but it's doing it with original writing created entirely, by me, in Word, as well. Here's one sample (screen shot, because when I tried to post it here, it stripped all the code out. On Blogspot, it just tells me it can't post because of the code).

This started happening a couple of months ago. I have to strip out all the code before publishing. I did not put ANY of that code in there. I wouldn't know how if I wanted to. What is going on, and why is this happening.

(Note-- I know NOTHING about computer code, so super-simple response please.)

I swear, I don't know how I killed your internet

Decimask — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 20:03:40 -0800

Please help me unb0rk my cousin's router. Partly, I'm just trying to figure out what the hell happened.

I just landed at my cousin's place temporarily. I pulled out my laptop (running Windows Vista), pulled up the network connections to hook up to the wireless. Everything seemed to be going normally, when it asked me for the PIN number on the Router. I had the WEP key in front of me, so this was surprising.

Got the PIN, continued in what I thought was an otherwise normal connection set up, and clicked "OK". BAM! Cousin on another computer loses internet access, and the connection is now named after my computer. I spend a bit of fiddlig trying to undo it, then get pissed off and hold in the "RESET" button on the back

Now:

I can't connect to the generic "Linksys" connection

She can't connect to it either.

I can't access the router's settings using 192.168.0.1 (conection times out) from the computer that's directly connected to the router--yet I can access the modem's settings just fine.

What the hell happened?

Router's a WRT54G2, if it matters.

ExcelFilter: Between Day 1 and Day 90, I had how many of which?

SansPoint — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 07:09:05 -0800

How can I count certain things in a range of cells in Excel that fall between two dates? I've got an Excel workbook that keeps track of every thing I produce at my job. (What the things are is irrelevant.) The date it's created in in Column A. In Column F there are criteria to determine which type of thing is is (two specific ones). I would like to count the number of each that fall between two dates, i.e. between, say 9/01/2009 and 11/30/2009.

For the life of me, I can't figger it out.

I've tried wrapping my head around dynamic ranges, but all I can see for doing that is OFFSET(), which would be great if all the date ranges had the same amount of rows, but they don't. Besides, I add new rows to this thing regularly, as each new thingie is generated. So, having, say, the last 30 of these counted does not help.

Google searching has given me info about how to count for the last x of a certain range, where x is days, weeks, months, etc. Doesn't help.

Oh, and I *really* would not like to have to go into VBA scripting for this.

So, uh, help?

Fool's Garden

Ljubljana — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 06:14:37 -0800

Please help me save my beloved lemon tree! I'm hoping that some of you can help me prevent a case of unintentional herbicide.

Here are the facts of the case:

* I bought the lemon tree about 4 years ago.
* This year I moved to a new place, and the tree is now on a small balcony facing west. (It does get some direct sunlight after about 4 or 5 p.m.)
* I'm watering it every other day.
* It didn't bloom this year. In fact, I was sure it was dead. As you can see in this picture, the top looks positively devastated.
* A few weeks ago, after I had already given up, a fresh branch came bursting out of the bottom. There also seems to be some clover in the pot. (I was told that lemon trees like company, so I've left it in.)
* I have no idea what to do at this point. Should I replant? When should I bring it indoors? Should I clip? How to best survive the rapidly approaching autumn/winter?

I've consulted local florists and the intraweb, but have found lots of conflicting advice and the oft-repeated caveat that lemon trees are just plain persnickety. So... any help would be greatly appreciated!

Where you find orangutang?

fontophilic — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 10:34:13 -0800

Did I see a little girl holding an orangutang on the streets of downtown Arlington, VA in early June 2008? Ok internets, I'm asking one doozy of a question, but I believe in your power. Please settle a year long argument between my BF and I.

About a year ago, maybe in early June of 2008 on a weekend afternoon, I was driving to an art exhibit in downtown Arlington, VA. I spied on the sidewalk, a young african-american girl of 10-12 years holding, what I believe was a live orangutang. The orangutang was facing the girl, legs around her waist, and arms over her shoulders. It was wearing a diaper, and appeared to be heavy in the little girl's arms. She was with other older boys that could have been her brothers and family. I believe she was wearing light colored shorts, flip flops and ribbons in her hair. I wish I had pulled over, but alas did not. I only saw this for a moment. The orangutang didn't move, in the short span of time I saw it.

My BF who was in the passenger's seat, also saw this and does not believe it was a real orangutang. Who can blame him? It's crazy to think a little girl would have an orangutang right? He does admit that the orangutang looked very realistic, this wasn't a fuzzy stuffed animal.

Here's what I'm looking for:

Maybe you grew up with a zoologist/primatologist parent and frequently went for strolls with orangutans or know someone who does. Maybe you collect life sized orangutang dolls, dress them in diapers, and can attest to their realism? Perhaps you know of a movie filmed in Arlington about a little girl and her orangutang?

Anything, even wild speculation is welcomed.

Scared to death?

ladypants — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:11:52 -0800

What is this story about someone literally scared to death? Please help me find this story:

In India, a team executed a prisoner by telling him that he would bleed to death drop by drop, and then instead letting water drip on to the floor. And then he died. Something to this effect.

Somehow it was an experiment about the mind-body connection. And maybe it was quoted by Jerome Groopman (or in another pop medical book).

I recall that it was quoted as an actual medical article with references. Has anyone else head of this article? Could you direct me to it? Anything similar in PubMed?

Begone foul 10 bar

cellphone — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:06:15 -0800

What the hell is this? It's floating above all my windows, cannot be clicked, and is not any application in my dock or menu bar. Have you seen this before? Extended information. MBP, OSX 10.5. Boxers.

hotdogfilter - Why do BallPark Franks plump when you cook them?

Paleoindian — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 22:12:21 -0800

hotdogfilter - Why do BallPark Franks plump when you cook them? remember the commercials that claim "ballpark franks plump when you cook them" and showed the hotdogs swelling on a grill?

Why? Is it all dogs or just Ballpark? ...Why do they "plump"?

Please make this Libirum stop spoiling my water

reverendjim — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 09:45:40 -0800

My doctor recently prescribed some Librium for awful stomach cramps. It seems that it is making all my food and drink now taste just terrible, like it's all got nutrasweet in it. I know the simple answer here is "just stop taking it", but that's really not an option. The Google is useless on this, and I really miss drinking water that tastes like water, and not water with some awful chemical in it. I guess, long question short: Is this the medication causing this or do I have a brain tumor?

Alternatives to CareCredit?

Anonymous — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 14:26:22 -0800

For reasons I don't (yet) fully understand, Care Credit has refused to extend me any credit whatsoever towards a year-long set of (embarrassing) medical procedures that will end up totalling in the neighborhood of $30,000 US. What viable alternatives to Care Credit exist for financing expensive and drawn-out medical procedures? More details: Single, no dependents. Only debt of any kind is a 4-year auto loan, which has never been late, and will be paid off in a little over 2 years. I rent. My annual income approaches six figures. I am in no danger of missing work due to the procedures (they're all outpatient).

I just don't understand why I would be rejected for this line of credit (even in this economy) and am hopeful that mefites will be able to recommend some alternative. Thanks in advance.

(As an aside: I'd really like to avoid speculation on what work needs done - the whole situation is one I find dreadfully embarassing, and the question isn't about the procedures needed, merely what alternatives exist to finance them. Thanks.)

Am I working in the Mirror Universe now, or what?

Anonymous — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 08:35:34 -0800

Everybody that I work with has become an insufferable asshole over the past few weeks. What is going on here? What can I do about it? I like to think of myself as a pretty laid-back kind of guy. I try hard to be accommodating to others and to be as helpful as possible, especially at work. I've always gotten along well with coworkers, I've never been written up for anything at work (at any of my jobs, ever) and I pride myself on being able to work with difficult people in difficult situations. Lately, though, it seems as if everybody at work has taken Asshole Pills and are now actively trying to drive me batshit insane.

It's difficult for me to give a list of concrete examples, except to say that, as strange as it seems, almost all of my coworkers and work-related acquaintances have become unbelievably rude over the past couple weeks and months, to the point where I'm noticeably more stressed and agitated than I used to be just half a year ago.

Previously pleasant coworkers now sneer at me and belittle me behind my back, and sometimes to my face. Other coworkers go out of their way to avoid being scheduled with me, and I've been reported/written up for things that I didn't even know were problems (I got called into a meeting with our Big Boss and got dressed down because apparently I smell bad. WTF? My boss told me I "need to start showering" or I'm going to loose my job. I shower twice a day, most days. At least once a day, every day. I'm completely hygienic. And I don't think I smell.)

Other times, coworkers within 5 years of my age will talk down to me as if I'm an imbecile or a child. Other times I'll be helpfully "reminded" about very basic aspects of my job of which I am obviously well aware (imagine "reminding" a plumber that "water goes in the pipes, mmmmkay? make sure the pipes are fastened tight, mmmmkay?")

I've been accused (by both bosses and coworkers) of being lazy, incompetent and generally useless. Three things which I've never been accused of in my entire working life. Nothing that I do is ever good enough for anyone at work, and generally the only feelings I seem to inspire in my bosses and coworkers seem to be anger and loathing rather than gratitude. Again, this is not normal for me.

As I sit here writing this, it occours to me that I sound like I'm trapped in some sort of Kafkaesque nightmare where everybody is in on some kind of conspiracy to treat me like a mentally challenged individual with a double-digit IQ.

Statistically speaking, I realize that this interpretation is rather improbable. It seems logical that if everyone around me has changed so much in the past few weeks/months, then it is more likely that I have changed somehow. I don't *feel* any different than I did a few months ago, except now with this nagging feeling that people at work are treating me like shit for no apparent reason.

Any ideas on what, exactly is going on here? What can I do, if anything, about it?

You can email me if you want at darkmatter.cosmos@gmail.com

Sick of stag.

Anonymous — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 08:29:08 -0800

Why (in the hell) can I not bring a date to this wedding? So let's say I have this good friend, Larry. Larry and I have been pretty tight for about 10 years, but work has taken me away to the other side of the world (literally - Larry's living in a major US metropolis, I'm living in a far-flung country that's [roughly] 2 (count 'em: two) 12-hour flights to get to where Larry is).

Larry's getting married to a nice gal. Its pretty much expected that I'll be at the wedding, Larry and I were even roommates at one point. I consider him a pretty close friend, and he knows more about me than most, but I'm an introvert and Larry's a pretty popular guy. I had almost expected to perhaps be an usher in the wedding or something, but I wasn't particularly surprised when that didn't happen - Larry has a lot more friends than I do.

So I get the invite, its addressed to me, specifically (i.e. not "and guest"). However, the RSVP card does have a field for "Number attending."

Larry and I are catching up recently and the wedding comes up. I talk about who I'm going to bring as a date (he and I would discuss my interest in particular dates often, back in the day), and Larry very pointedly states that nobody is bringing dates to this wedding and only the names on the envelopes are invited. He apparently thinks that all weddings are like this, and says as much - according to him only married or engaged people get to bring a date.

This puts me off a great deal. I am literally making plans to travel around the world, at my own expense and on my own vacation time, to be there to celebrate Larry's special day, and now I am essentially forced to do it "stag," probably sitting at a table with people I do not know, likely next to some friend of the bride that she thinks I'll be just perfect for, who I will have no interest in. I've been in these shoes before and choose to avoid it these days.

Questions:
1. Am I on a high horse I need to get off of? I don't have anyone in particular I desperately want to be there with me, I would just not like to be "alone" and ostracized as such at said wedding (large protestant WASP group where its generally assumed if you're diddling around in you're 30's and not married or fast approaching, there's something fundamentally amiss with you).

2. Are Larry and his fiance as pretentious as I'm currently now wondering? (Picture Tim Robbins' character in Shawshank Redemption - I feel like asking Larry "How can you be so OBTUSE?")

3. Where do I go from here? I don't know why this throws me off so much, but I'm at the point of considering not even going. I know I will, in the end, to avoid the headaches of "why didn't he make it to our wedding," but at the same time, I don't want to show up and concede the point that I've failed at being relationally successful.

4. Bonus: Why am I so angry about this? I know I shouldn't be, and I'm mad that I'm letting it get to me. It just strikes me at its core as something I shouldn't let pass with a sad, sunken gaze. It should be alright that I'm not engaged or married, and yet still want someone to be with me, right?