Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with Virgin

Where to go for a short vacation in the Caribbean?

BobFrapples — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 14:27:49 -0800

Hi all! So, have any of you ever vacationed or traveled in the Caribbean? If so, I would love to hear your likes, dislikes, recommendations & suggestions. I'm trying to put a trip together for the end of January. I think I'm coming close to narrowing it down to either Barbados or the Virgin Islands (US or British?), but I am still looking for ideas.

My trip would be for about 4 or 5 days, and right now it looks like it's just going to be me. So, I'd love to find a place where there's more to do than just lay on a beach. Recommendations for specific hotels or places to stay are very much appreciated. I'd love to be on or very close to a beach, but maybe still in walking distance to tasty food and/or some nightlife.

Thanks all!

From 0 to multiple orgasms in 60 days

jdfan — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 07:20:45 -0800

I've met a delightful young woman who floats my boat in many, many ways. Through a variety of circumstances, she has almost no experience at sex. She is a quick and avid learner. Please help me find resources for practical virgins who don't know much about their sexuality that want to figure out what works for them. Lean towards fun, open, smart. I want our discovery process to be a delightful, fun, awesome experience for her. Books, websites, video suggestions?

What's the best way to have sex with a tall dude with a big penis who was a virgin up til last week? Please do not answer "vigorously".

Anonymous — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 16:29:32 -0800

NSFW-Filter: My new lover's penis is rather large and we have a not insignificant height difference. Also, he was a virgin up until last week. Please advise. So I am dating this guy who was a virgin when I met him, so he had no idea that he has a pretty big penis. I'm pretty tight-- it's been ages since I've had intercourse (my most recent relationship was with a lady), and sex hasn't been painful with him, but it is a bit uncomfortable, and so far we've had to go very slow in order to keep him from hurting me.

In the past I've had pain in the back of my vaginal opening (similar to what's described in this question, but less severe, and the combination of using a vibrator before sex and using angles that put less friction on that area helped.

I need advice on positions that would help deal with the combination of the height difference (he is a lot taller than me) and the penis size. (Do those pillows in the triangular prism shape-- or other pillows-- used to prop people up help?) We're already using lube (though if you have any particularly awesome brand suggestions, I am always open to new ideas).

General advice on breaking in virgins (without any actual breaking) would also be nice! I am a pretty good teacher about everything but intercourse itself.

Thanks in advance!

What do you use your cell phone for?

Decimask — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 15:10:52 -0800

What do you use your cell phone for? Odd question, I know. Some short background:

I got my first cell about 3 years ago--a super-basic cell with the minimum number of bells and whistles I could find. I have yet to pay a dime on ringtones, games or wallpapers. What I've come to realise is that:

A camera would have been handy

Making calender entries without a QWERTY keyboard sucks

Now I'm planning on moving to a plan of some kind. But I'm seeing features on some phones and wondering: What the hell would I ever need that for?

So, like it says on the front page, what are you using your cell phone for?

What do I expect when traveling by airplane?

fuq — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 18:34:45 -0800

I am an air-travel virgin and I'm flying out of JFK (NYC) to Charlotte this Saturday and I'd like to know what to expect. What is aircraft etiquette that I'm not familiar with due to not having flown in a plane before? What should I know before I roll into the airport regarding packing and carry-on stuff. How is the security at JFK? Should I expect to be detained due to my beard and unkempt appearance?

What are things that you have done in the past that resulted in a more enjoyable flight experience? My flight is two and a half hours on US airlines

Virgin Mobile ate my insurance

a non e mouse — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 02:58:31 -0800

I've just been seriously burned by Virgin Mobile - who've reneged on insurance - just wondering what strategies I can use given the situation. I recently transferred to Virgin Mobile from Vodafone (not willingly, Vodafone didn't have coverage to where I was moving). I transferred my number, Treo750 and also my handset insurance (or so I thought).

You see, Virgin's insurer (Risk Insure) only accept insurance for phones that have been purchased through Virgin Mobile, and are no older than a few days old (fair enough).

Trouble is, Virgin Mobile didn't tell me this (I did the transfer over the phone), and accepted the insurance knowing that I'd brought my own phone.

They never sent the PDS (insurance policy), but continued to charge me each month. I assumed I was insured.

I got hit by a wave walking with the kids and of course the phone is now cactus. I called Virgin and they realised they'd made an error and tried to simply cancel my insurance and refund the past 4 months of payments. I argued the point and they then put me through to Risk Insure, who then gave me the run around for 3 weeks before telling me they wouldn't honour the insurance!

They've since offered me 2 months of service for 'free' and sent me these drivelly, over-familiar emails suggesting the matter closed.

For what it's worth the phone was worth $1000AUD.

Do I have any sort of case? God, it's so utterly depressing...

Oh, I'm out of work, low on cash but have plenty of time on my hands

Would you recommend the Virgin Excess Baggage service?

gfrobe — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 07:02:45 -0800

Has anyone used the Virgin Atlantic Excess Baggage service to send unaccompanied baggage overseas? Seems like a good deal compared with standard freight forwarding but wondering if I'm missing something. I'm moving from UK to US next month and wondering about the best way to ship my stuff. The Virgin Excess Baggage service works out to about £4 per kilo for the first 35 kilo and then drops to roughly £2.50 per kilo after that. Virgin reps tell me that I just bring my stuff to the airport, they weigh it there, ship it and they then provide 4 free days of storage at the destination. Dimensions don't really matter although they said if I was bringing something large (like a sofa, which I'm not), then I should just call ahead to make sure there's room. I'd be responsible for clearing my stuff on the US side but Virgin tells me this is quite simple.

I've searched the board and companies like SevenSeas Worldwide are recommended but the prices seem roughly comparable; however, I'll have to wait 52 days for my stuff using that service. Also, their price quotes are based on weight as well as dimensions so it seems like I could end up paying more for light but bulky items (like guitars).

So, has anyone used the Virgin service and if you have, do you recommend it?

Ordering a return ticket Melbourne to Los Angeles with V Australia; can I travel to LA and cancel the return flight for a refund?

Eastgate — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 06:31:51 -0800

I'm going to be flying one way from Melbourne, Australia to Los Angeles with V Australia. It's cheaper to book a return ticket than a one way ticket. Can I cancel the return flight and get a refund? I'm looking at going via Premium Economy with V Australia and getting a "Premium Deal" ticket from Melbourne to Los Angeles (approx. $923) and selecting a "Premium Flexi" ticket for the return journey (approx. $2500). After arriving in LA, I would want to cancel the return ticket. Is it possible to do this and get a full refund of the $2500 for the return ticket? Has anyone had experience doing this kind of thing before?

Going with a return ticket option was much cheaper than going with one way. I had considered selecting a "Premium Deal" ticket for the return, but I read that there was a $550 cancellation fee, which is why I'm asking about the "Premium Flexi" instead.

DIY and or Virgin Money Details: how do I unwind?

powpow — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:40:52 -0800

Mortgage payoff/refi and lien removal process. DIY or Virgin Money. What do I need to know? I’m considering refinancing by borrowing money from a family member, call him Z. Aside from the potential relationship snags, what do I need to know or watch out for?

I’d probably use Virgin Money http://www.virginmoneyus.com/RealEstateLoans/FamilyMortgage/PackagesPrice/tabid/56/Default.aspx to create a loan document and file a lien on my property etc so it all looks legit.

Of course, YANML (nor my accountant, broker, or adviser). I’m on the hook for whatever I do…

Main questions:
1) Will this affect my ability to sell the property later? I don’t know the process of paying off a loan at closing and having the lien released. Maybe Z will be a little slower than a bank to release the lien since he doesn’t do this every day like a real bank. Are there any potential snags that could come up at closing when I sell?
2) Can I do it myself without spending $600-$700 at Virgin Money? I’m willing to pay since they know what they’re doing, but would a local lawyer be cheaper or better? I want Z to have a lien in case I die, get sued, etc, and possibly for tax reasons. If I can just get the lien done myself, how do I do it (in a deed of trust state, as if I knew what that means)?
3) Any other financial, legal, or practical reasons this is a bad idea? Assume that we’re ignoring personal/relationship issues for the moment, everything is well documented, we follow applicable tax laws (such as using at least the AFR), and we otherwise don’t get crazy. I’m not worried about credit reporting, or a mortgage falling off my reports.
4) Will this affect my ability to get a second mortgage if I ever wanted to?

My main concern is that it may be difficult to clear off the lien in the future, but maybe this is all the same as any other refinancing transaction except I know the lender.

If you know of any good DIY mortgage filing sites or experiences of others who’ve used Virgin Money for a mortgage those would be helpful as well.

Thank you!

How do I tell someone that I'm a virgin?

Wrigley — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 15:46:22 -0800

How do I tell someone that I have never had sex? Okay, I'm new to this site so I apologize if this has been discussed before and I just missed it in my quick search.

The background: I'm a 23 year old female who has never had actual sex (and no, I'm not counting oral, "almost", or any other expansive definition). I'm defining it in the narrowest of terms - the Bill Clinton way, if you will. To top it off, I haven't really done *anything* with the opposite sex besides the occasional drunken make out in the last four years. Oh, and I can't ask my friends around here for advice, since they all have no idea - and I like it that way.

Before I went to college I was in a very long relationship with an older guy. We did a lot, but I never felt ready to go all the way. The relationship ended shortly before I left for school and I guess I didn't think too much of it at the time - I figured I'd soon be dating again and it wasn't going to matter all that much, since I was only seventeen. Well, needless to say, that didn't exactly work out, and somehow I ended up finishing up school with no meaningful experience to speak of.

Now out in the real world I have a guy that I'm close to and, while nothing has happened yet, it really only seems like a matter of time at this point. But... two things are terrifying me and keeping me up at night:

The first: I worry about my rustiness. Since I'll actually be sober this time around (or at least hope to be) I'm freaked out that I'll be, you know, bad when things do happen and that that will nip anything we have in the bud right there.

The second: I worry that even if it's all like riding a bike and I know what I'm doing, that when it comes time, I'm going to have to tell him that I'm still a virgin. Awkward. I mean, I'm 23 - shouldn't this have happened by now? And, as a girl, it's not like I can really lie about this sort of thing without it be seriously obvious. Again, I'm worried that he'll just decide that it's not worth it... that I'm not worth it, and that'll be the end of that.

I really like this dude. I don't know if I want a relationship with him - I may be leaving my current city in a few short months for graduate school, but I want something to happen and I feel like these worries are holding me back. Please help.

How do I deal with being the brother of an angry virgin?

Anonymous — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 13:28:07 -0800

Please help me figure out how to deal with being close to a musical genius brother whose inability to get laid has led to outbursts that are traumatizing my parents and me. Every Saturday night or so, my dear old dad picks up the phone and it's his son, Eddie. Eddie is frustrated and ranting because he's a virgin in his late 20s, and his odd social ways are not getting him any lovin'. Eddie is also a musical genius who loves funk-jazz fusion artists, and when there's a piano for him to commandeer at a party, people's heads will turn to find this unassuming little guy pounding out this abstract blues that is like something from outer space, and I mean that in a good way. But because of Eddie's obsessive artistic purity, rather than using music to meet women, he coops himself up, devoting most of his hermitude to writing mid-1980s-style video game soundtracks that are only appreciated by a small, retro-obsessed Internet community of, like, people in Sweden whose preferred operating system is Amiga Workbench.

It has gotten to where I want to either pay some nice sex worker in downtown San Francisco to seduce him, or forcibly become his manager and make him come up with a live act to meet women, so that he will stop making my poor mom suffer with his piteous and unnecessary cries of loneliness. Dad's tough; mom has really been through it over this.

For years, Eddie has indicated interest in the live music plan, but has been maddeningly passive about doing this or anything to change his life. He is active, however, in wrenching pity out of my mom over his hundred-percent rejection rate by women. It has gone on for years and I am trying to build a healthy wall of separation between his feelings and mine while trying to see if there is anything I can do to help. Being a less close-knit family isn't an option; we pulled together to make sure Eddie got through childhood problems that another kid might never have survived. Though on the other hand I could really use some distance, because in the fall I start law school, and cannot be around any more emotional outbursts like this.

The point is that it has also given me severe guilt issues. I knew they had gone too far when I woke up my summer fling at 6 a.m., weeping about my brother, and she was understandably like WTF?

I have this crazy belief that my brother needs to "catch up" with my (very modest for my age) dating accomplishments. I'm afraid of his being jealous of me and somehow I have this sense that the universe is wrong for letting me sleep with people every now and then while my brother, unless he changes his ways, seems headed for a future of being like Billy Bob Thornton's 45-year-old manchild in "A Simple Plan"--remember the part where he talks about never having kissed a girl?

I have a really hard time watching this happen, and I'm angry at the world for the unfair distribution of rewards. Eddie has had some modest dating accomplishments lately, and I try to concentrate on those, but last week I found out he is being treated for severe panic attacks where he thinks he is going to die all the time, and it just makes me so upset. Right when you think something will go OK for him, he will post some annoying Facebook message about being alone and rejected.

Has anyone ever had to deal with anything like this sibling guilt, and what did you do about it? I know some people will identify a certain level of "Dead Ringers"-level "codependence" insanity here ("We have to get in sync!"), and there may be truth to that. But I can't just disappear from my brother's life when we are best friends and I've been almost like another parent. Do I just need to see a shrink or what?

What else could I have said in this situation? (NSFW)

Anonymous — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 09:56:15 -0800

What else could I have said in this situation? (NSFW) When I met my girlfriend (Diane), she was a virgin. She was waiting for marriage. For the first couple months of the relationship, we would fool around up to the point of sex but never go that far - or even tease the boundary. Our point of view was that we didn't want to risk temptation. The boundary began to get teased before long.

We would do the whole, "just put it in a little bit" routine. I would pull out, or she would get up before anything happened (read: breaking the hymen).

Some time last month, we were getting intimate and it got to the "put it in" part. I was about to pull out, but she told me to go deeper. I did, and it broke.

There was a moment of silence and shock. Then questioning ("Did it really break?" "Yep, there's blood."). Now, as a male, I'm not known for being smart. The first word out of my mouth was, "Oops."

We had sex for a few more minutes after that before stopping because of no condom.

Diane isn't crushed because of losing her virginity before she was ready. Nor does she hold any resentment against me. Surprisingly, she doesn't even hold the "Oops" against me - It's actually a point of chuckle for us.

Tonight, we were playfully bickering and she brought it up saying, "I mean, seriously: 'Oops'?!"

To which I responded, "Well, what else could I have said?" And there was silence.

AskMeFi: What else could I have said? We've played around with the "I love you" line, but that could possibly have made it seem like I planned to take her virginity.

Request: I'm not looking for any answers besides ones pertaining directly to my question. We just want to know if there was anything else that could have been said in this instance better than, "Oops" that wouldn't have ruined the mood, nor made it seem like I planned the whole thing.

NSFW condom/sex question.

Anonymous — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 08:57:14 -0800

Mid-20s guy needs first-time condom/penetrative intercourse advice. This will be NSFW. I've done a lot of sexual things with the women I've been in relationships with, but never had penetrative intercourse. Long story short, I (and the people I dated) used to be pretty uptight about risk and morality. I'm less so now, and I'm in a relationship with a great woman that's heading into sexual territory. I've only once bought condoms before, and that was with a girl who had really specific requirements (and I ended up never using them, heh). Never even really looked at them in the store. It's a bit of embarrassment left over from my history, I guess. Yeah, I know I need therapy. I'm working on it. In the immediate term, how on earth do I weigh the various features/risks of condoms and pick out something that'll work well/as safely as possible? I'm not interested in gimicks like texture/studs/ribbing/etc, but even in the realm of "plain condoms" there's a lot of description that isn't very meaningful to me. I see the sampler packs referenced here, but I probably need to work out something before next weekend. That thread also has some good specific advice, but I guess I'm asking for advice for the neophyte rather than the experienced. Also: is there a "size chart" for these things anywhere?

And yes, I will talk with the lady about her own preferences, but I'd rather get educated to a point somewhere beyond "complete ignoramus" before I go and make a fool of myself.

I'm in the US.

Girls through the looking glass

zoomorphic — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 11:55:53 -0800

I'm looking for both films, books, and short stories where the story of a girl or a woman is told solely through the perspective of a male narrator. I finally got around to reading Eugenides' The Virgin Suicides last week and subsequently watched the Coppola film. I realized that, like, Lolita, the story of the Lisbon girls is distilled through the eyes of male narrators. It's entirely possible that the scenes with only the Lisbon girls and their parents are confabulations imagined by the boys. If that's the case, both Lolita and the Lisbon girls have no control over their own stories. Are there any other works of literature that tackle this refracted narration?

Film examples are perhaps trickier, since "perspective" can turn into the broader form of "cinematography," so I'm not looking for movies in which a girl's story is simply filmed by a man, but the narrative is otherwise hers. Obviously, I'm already counting both Coppola and Kubrick's adaptations.

Bonus points for any film/lit criticism about this subject that goes beyond the simple "male gaze" theories.

25 yo heartbroken virgin, enjoys long walks on the beach

Anonymous — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 14:10:53 -0800

Heartbroken after recently getting out of a 7 year relationship, and still a virgin. I'm a 25 yr old guy. Have done oral, but no vaginal sex, have done "outercourse" (which for all you horny but non-repressed sexual creatures, is just rubbing our naked naughty parts against each other, but no actual penetration), due to respecting the girl's wishes to wait until marriage. We had known each other for 7 years, I was ready to propose and everything. But over the last few months, she felt that we had grown apart, ended it, and started dating someone else. Oh, and the best part is that now she's ready. Just icing on the cake, that. It's over at this point, I can accept that. I'm moving on emotionally as well as can be hoped. . .which is not really that well at all, but i'm not suicidal or anything. And I have the support of my friends and family.

Since I haven't been single since I was 18, I have no real-world personal idea of how dating works. We were just two naive ppl getting together, and now that's all fucked. I just know what I know from friends, which makes the world seem like a jaded and cynical place of throwaway sex and disappointments for long-term potential. I have a lot of anxiety over starting that up, and I don't know if I'm even ready for all that yet.

I guess one of the biggest sources of anxiety is that my ex and I used to have absolutely great sexual chemistry, minus the sex. After 7 years, we both knew exactly what got the other one off, how to put each other in the mood, the secret spots, all that craziness. It seems so daunting now to try to have intimacy with another woman, and then flub around with the virgin question, and having the expected first few times of crappy sex before I'm functional.

I just feel at 25, I'm way behind the game here.

To keep it focused, my question(s) are as follows:
1. Will the sexual chemistry ever be as good? I really want the answer to this be yes, but obviously just be honest.
1. How/when do I tell a potential partner that I'm still a virgin?
2. Won't she be able to tell anyways?
3. How will this be taken ("wtf is wrong with you?" "aww that's sweet, let me teach you" "umm, no thanks, newbs no need apply. . )
4. More generally, how will I know that I'm ready to jump in? Some advice I've gotten is: jump in, it'll help you get over it, and others say wait until you are over it, then jump in. . . i'm confused and don't even know how to determine if I'm over it. All I know is that I'm not over it currently.
5. Are relationships ever as good as the one with your first love? Once again, I want ppl to say yes, but the honest truth is better.

I guess that's a lot of things to answer, but I appreciate any and all advice/wisdom. . .thanks mefi

How can I help my son get laid?

Anonymous — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 12:07:22 -0800

So...my nineteen year old son just informed me that he is president of his college's abstinence club. I think that this is a huge mistake. How can I help my son get laid and see what he is missing? This is not a religious issue for him. Nor is he Gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). I suspect that there's more to it than what he's telling me (one of his friends thinks he might have a crush on a girl in the Abstinence club) which is that he thinks sex should be an intimate act between two people and not casual. And I don't disagree. I've been married and faithful for twenty years. And I've always tried to teach him safe sex.

But he's 19 and in college. Isn't this the time for sexual experimentation? To get jiggy with it and all that?
So how can I help him have sex?

Trying to recall literary example containing a comparison of Marian aspects

dicetumbler — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 10:17:05 -0800

I'm trying to recall where I read of (most likely fictional) characters comparing their "favorite" Virgin Mary. I think it was meant as a humorous response to the diverse characterizations of the figure in various Marian cults before the Reformation. I believe one character says something to the effect of, Our Lady of [?] is well-known, but the Mary of [?] is the kindest. Or something to that effect. Can anyone help me?

Help me avoid pain during my honeymoon

Anonymous — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:38:48 -0800

Newlywed here. First-time sex question inside. My husband and I got married a few days ago. We were both virgins and we had sex for the first time 2 days ago. It hurt a lot (for me)...but no blood. We've now had sex a few times and it still hurts every time. My husband tells me he felt some "resistance" at first, but not anymore, just a lot of tightness. I read a few of the past questions with this topic, with a lot of suggestions of going to the doctor. I'm NOT going to the doctor (at least during the honeymoon), so is there anything someone can tell me that could help at this time?

I'm guessing my hymen tore a little on a side or something (it hurts more in a specific area) and part of it is still tight around the edges/entrance. What can I do do make the pain stop? Should we take a break for a day and maybe let it heal? Or just keep on so that it doesn't "close up" again? I have no idea what to do. If it helps, I've got some anti-inflammatory meds here that I usually take for different types of inflammation.

Any suggestions?

How can I be OK with never being intimate with another?

Anonymous — Sat, 17 May 2008 16:26:42 -0800

I'm 29 and haven't had sex. How can I reconcile with the fact that it might not ever happen for me? I'm 29 and I've never had sex.

This fact has been weighing on me lately. I feel like everyone around me is having sex and is able to find people to be intimate with except for myself.

So far, I've had two girlfriends. Both were somewhat religious, and did not believe in sex before marriage. I cared about them, and so I respected their wishes. Still, I always wondered what it would be like.

I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that perhaps I'm not meant to ever have sex with another.

So I ask you, has sex been worth it to those who have had it? If you're still a virgin, how are you able to cope with these feelings? Any help would be appreciated.

Throwaway e-mail is frustratedvirgin@gmail.com if you don't want to post an answer here or want to ask me further questions.

Help two clueless virgins...

Anonymous — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 08:13:58 -0800

Two virgins attempt to have sex, but a recalcitrant hymen gets in the way. Help? So, my boyfriend and I finally decided to start trying to have sex. "Try" is the operative word here. We were both virgins and didn't really know what we were doing. The first time he attempted to enter me...it didn't go so well. He only got a bit of the tip in before I started crying and there was blood everywhere.

As far as we can tell, the hymen is still mostly there, albeit torn a little. We tried again just using fingers, and he still can't put two fingers in me without it being very painful, though before it was impossible.

So, what should we do? Googling has turned up little information of value. I know that my mom had a hymenectomy when she was 19 for some reason or other, so I was thinking maybe that sort of thing is genetic. I have been using tampons since I was 14 or so (now 20), albeit with some difficulty with the larger ones, but at least I know it's not completely closed off down there. I was very athletic in high school, so perhaps that has something to do with it.

Any help you could give would be much appreciated.

Email: cluelessvirgin@gmail.com

Losing my Serenity at home...

timpollard — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 07:35:24 -0800

Why can't I access www.fireflyfans.net from my home PC? I just get a 'Internet Explorer (7) cannot display the webpage'. I can get it at work, so I know it's still there, just not at home. I'm on Virgin (ex-NTL) cable (going through a router), and I can get everywhere except this one site. And I *love* Firefly, dammit!

My life is not a Steve Carell movie

Anonymous — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 15:36:04 -0800

Please help me not be the next 40 year old virgin! I'm a guy pushing 30 and I'm still a virgin. I'd like to change that. This question is not about how to meet women or get them to sleep with me. It's a little more, um, practical than that.

I've only done more than make out with 3 women. As a result, I'm really insecure when I'm with a new girl, which leads to performance anxiety.

The inexperience stems in part from not being very assertive when I was younger and having self-esteem issues related to my weight. I'm not perfect, but those are no longer holding me back in terms of approaching women, flirting, or dating. But now the inexperience is perpetuating itself.

Recent example: I had gone out with this girl a handful of times and we made out a little. After one night of lots of drinking and dancing, she came back to my place. Both of us were really turned on all night, things were going well. We're in bed, lots of foreplay, still very turned on. As soon as she actually reached down and started to give me a handjob, I went limp. She was very attractive, and I was very interested, so that wasn't the problem. We talked a little about me being inexperienced, laughed it off because we were both wasted, then went to sleep. Same embarrassing scene the next morning! But sober and without a good excuse. That's a blow to the self esteem (not at all the blow I was looking for).

Neither of us was looking for anything super serious at the time, so when I wasn't really up for the benefits part of friends-with-benefits, that little fling went away. And I'm starting to freak out about repeating the above scenario with the next girl... and the next....

In the ideal situation, I'd be comfortable enough with whoever is in my bed to talk about this, and she'd be cool and patient so taking it that slow wouldn't be a problem. But it doesn't always work that way. I don't necessarily want to have the "I've only been with 3 other girls and I'm still a virgin" conversation with every girl I might sleep with. And I don't necessarily want to wait until I find my soulmate to have sex. So I'm looking for tips to get through some future casual hook-ups. All my plumbing works just fine. I masturbate regularly (but I don't think that was an issue in my last encounter... I could've hopped into bed with a loaded gun and not been able to pull the trigger that night).

What can I do, mentally or physically, to get past this roadblock? Any suggestions appreciated.

Is it ok to keep posing as a virgin?

SeparatetheLabelD — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 14:22:36 -0800

Was I "technically" raped? More importantly do I need to tell my girlfriend that I'm not a virgin? When I was seventeen, I had a party at my house when both my parents and my current girlfriend were out of town. I ended up getting really drunk at the party and slept with one of the girls at the party. However, because I was so intoxicated, I "browned/blacked out and barely remember the actual sex act (although I do remember everything leading up to it and bits and pieces during and after). The morning after, I woke up and found the girl in my bed and pieced together what had happened with her help. She was eighteen at the time.

Was I technically raped since I didn't offer consent, was not in a right state of mind, and did not want to cheat on my girlfriend? I'm not asking if I could take her to court over it or anything because I know I'd lose.

Now I'm 19 and involved in a relationship where we are finally ready to have sex. The thing is she is a virgin and I told her I was too. Was this wrong of me or was it alright to keep this from her?

P.S. I know I'm a scumbag for cheating so no need to reiterate that point to me.

How to replace my Sky Plus box?

salmacis — Thu, 15 Feb 2007 05:39:05 -0800

How do I replace my Sky Plus box? I'm in the UK. For reasons of price I've decided to ditch Sky Plus. Since I already get my broadband from Virgin Media (formerly ntl) I can get a TV package with them for virtually no extra money. One thing I am going to miss though is the easy recording with Sky Plus. Virgin Media have a Sky Plus-type box which apparently has the same function, but it's £15 a month, which I will not pay. (Does the VM box work as well as Sky Plus anyway?)

What alternatives are there? I could go the old route and hook up my old VCR, but there must be a better way in this day and age. All hard disk recorders seem to have Freeview built in. Are there any which will work with cable? Is a DVD recorder going to fitthe bill? Failing that, is it possible to build a bare-bones system myself, and if so, where should I start?

Please do not asnwer this question if you're not in the UK and do not know about UK broadcasting or what boxes are available here.

More of that name that tune!

LunaticFringe — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 14:06:29 -0800

MoreNameThatSongFilter What is the name of the song that is playing during the Virgin Mobile ad currently in rotation in Canada? I likes it and would like to know who does it. Thanks in advance MeFites!