Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with Tipping

Holiday Tipping for Server

MeetMegan — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 17:10:18 -0800

What kind of holiday tip/gift should I give a server I see regularly (once a week) and regularly tip 30%? I saw my favorite server last night, and he pressed me to schedule my next meal so that he could "see me before the holidays." That reminded me that I'd like to get/give him something for the holidays. What's the protocol on this? Should I just provide him a larger tip? Is a gift appropriate? If so, how much/what kind?

This is an upscale restaurant. Two of us dine together (myself and my brother) and we regularly spend $70+ and tip very well (30%+). We see Bill about three-four times a month.

Thanks for your help!

Should I be tipping the newspaper delivery person more often?

cadge — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 10:08:20 -0800

Newspaper delivery tipping etiquette? Are additional tips expected outside of the holiday season? I have a Sunday newspaper subscription. Sometimes I find tip envelopes filled out with the delivery person's address (and occasionally a little note on cardstock like "Wishing you a nice holiday") in with my newspaper.

I know to tip at the holiday season, but I also get these tip envelopes at other times during the year (usually on other holidays, I think, like July 4).

Are tips for newspaper delivery expected outside of the winter holiday season?

Do we tip the satellite installer?

hippybear — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:14:12 -0800

Do we tip the satellite installer? We arranged to have an upgrade done to our satellite service, moving to an HD-capable system. The upgrade, which we thought would be a simple case of swapping out satellite boxes, has turned into him running new higher-grade cable into the house, crawling about in our attic space to drop cable down through the walls, really he's going well above and beyond what we expected him to do.

We aren't paying for this install / upgrade -- it's somehow being covered through the upgrade deal.

Should we tip the installer? If so, how much?

Leave two separate tips?

Pocahontas — Thu, 21 May 2009 06:44:54 -0800

Why are there two lines to leave a tip at Trader Vic's? In the US here....after dining at Trader Vic's recently, I was surprised to see two lines on the credit card slip for leaving a tip: one for "captain" and one for "waiter." There's a nautical theme and all there, so does captain=maitre d'/hostess? I've never seen a tip line specifically for that. Anyone else see this, at Trader Vic's or otherwise? Or is this a new innovation thanks to the recession?

Special treatment at a restaurant

dublin — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:26:32 -0800

If you know the chef and therefore get some special treatment, how do you respond? I am dining out Sat night at a higher end restaurant. We know the exec chef who helped us get last minute reservations, but she is more of an acquaintance. I expect she will send us out some extras, etc and perhaps get a little nicer treatment because we know her, and I am wondering if there is a protocol for how to handle. Do we tip extra even though the gratuity will not go to her? Just want be gracious for the super generous and kind treatment. thanks.

Tipping etiquette in Cancun?

cider — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 07:12:37 -0800

I'm headed to an all-inclusive resort in Cancun this weekend, and I was wondering about the tipping etiquette. Though officially, tips are included in the overall cost, I've read online that it's wise to tip anyway. Does anyone have any experience with this? What sort of tip would be appropriate to a bartender (per drink), for example? Should I also be tipping the housekeeper? Should I be tipping in dollars or pesos? If pesos, will I be able to get them out of a bank machine (my regular method for exchanging cash) or should I exchange at the airport?

(Bonus question -- should I be worried about drinking water/ice while I'm there? I'm staying at Catalonia Riviera Maya, if that makes a difference.)

Thanks a lot for all your help! I'm looking forward to a relaxing vacation, and your answers will help me to relax even more!

Tipping the Locker Room Concierge / Attendant?

cheez-it — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:00:08 -0800

I joined a fairly nice gym that has a concierge in the locker room (hands out keys, steams clothes etc). I rarely ask the concierge to steam shirts, slacks etc -- but I occasionally do. Do I need to tip them? W/regards to the tipping....

Should I provide an annual tip / holiday bonus similar to the way one might tip their doorman?

Or do I tip on incident (eg. any time I need them to steam something)

If I should be providing annual tips/packets a la doormen...

Do I need to provide tips/packets for each member of the service staff? -- I tend to go eary in the am so I see the same people all the time, but I hardly ever interact with the other staff.

How much should I be tipping?

Tipping is wrong but not tipping is wronger.

jacalata — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 20:08:25 -0800

Without becoming some kind of super activist, what can I do to assist social change? There are things about society that I disapprove of/disagree with. I am not in the slightest willing to get into politics/advocacy/anything really involving publicity and people. I can however donate some amounts of money and time, and I don't mind doing stuff that involves people (hard to delineate what is 'too much people', but I have worked in hospitality, for instance. I would not be interested in approaching strangers for discussions).

The impetus for this question was the (yet another) tipping thread below. I think tipping as practiced in America is an inefficient and unfair arrangement, but simply not tipping is not going to change anything except stiff the waiters who serve me. Is there anything normal individuals can do that would affect the practice?

Obviously there are other issues in life, but big ones like homelessness/inequitable school funding/etc are either much more widely supported or just seem way out of scope. In general, however, I am looking for action I can take within my normal life (ie; not changing jobs/moving anywhere) that would affect social structures and arrangements that seem entrenched.

Eating out with Scrooge

keep it under cover — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 01:31:43 -0800

How do you deal with friends who are terrible tippers when dining out? I have always been a generous tipper, something I inherited from my father. I'm not saying this to brag about what a terrific person I am, I just inherently feel that good service deserves a reward and what's a couple dollars to me when it could be a nice pat on the back for the server? And while tipping started out as merely a pat on the back, nowadays it's how servers make their living - they survive on tips and it's no longer fair game to think of tips as optional. Since I started waitressing at a bar part-time while going to school, tipping fairly has become even more important to me.

The other night, I went out with a small group of friends and friends-of-friends. Some of the people in the group were very irritating and demanding. For example, they took forever to order, hemming and hawing while the waitress stood there politely waiting. The pub was packed and she was getting run off her feet, and these people paid no regard to the fact that they were wasting her time. Despite how incredibly busy she was, she managed to give us great service with a smile. When it came time to pay our bill of $90, we ended up with only a $9 tip - $6 of which was from *me,* while the other five people had so generously contributed the other $3. I pointed out the fact that we were "a bit short." One of my friends threw in some extra while the others pretended not to hear. I went home fuming.

This is certainly not the first time this has happened, either with that group or other groups of friends. Some people seem entirely unconcerned with making sure we have enough... are people really that terrible at math, or are they just playing dumb? I once went on a double date where my boyfriend and I tipped 20% and the other couple ATE our tip! They actually used our tip to help pay for their half of the bill... and the worst part - the girl in the couple is a waitress. And it was the other couple that chose the restaurant, so it wasn't a matter of us inviting them to a place they couldn't afford.

I get that many of my friends aren't sitting on piles of money, but I feel very strongly that if you're not prepared to leave a decent tip, you have no business walking into the restaurant in the first place. Lord knows I'm pretty darn broke these days, but I have never in my life shorted a server on a tip just because I didn't have enough, or was trying to save my pennies. If I couldn't afford to leave a decent tip, I went to McDonald's or served myself at home.

It has gotten to the point where I'm wary of going out in big groups, or of going out to dinner with certain people, because I know that my night will be ruined when the bill comes. It has caused me to think less of my friends. I view their behavior as tacky, selfish, stingy, and inconsiderate... and not just to our server, but also to the other people in our party who then have to make up the tip or swallow the embarrassment.

Is there any way to make people more aware of their poor tipping habits? Is there any way to call attention to it without antagonizing my dining companions? I know it's tacky to bring up matters of money, but then again so is leaving a dismal tip. Am I making way too much of this?

Does one tip one's car detailer?

danny the boy — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 21:37:57 -0800

Does one tip one's car detailer? When I went to regular car washes, I tipped the employees directly, either to the guy that handed me the keys, or into the tip jar that the whole crew shared.

I wash my own car now, but I'm taking it in for a detailing job tomorrow. This is a pretty high end place, they'll be working on it all day and the cost is ~$300. There's the owner, and a couple of guys. I'm pretty sure I'll only be interacting with the owner. Do I tip in this situation? My gut is telling me 'no', that at this level a tip is not expected--I wouldn't tip my mechanic and their hourly rates are not dissimilar...

Should I tip the masseuse?

MaryDellamorte — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:20:27 -0800

Do you tip the masseuse? I've never had a professional massage before and I have a certificate my boyfriend got me for a full hour massage. If I do tip, what should I tip? I'm completely in the dark here. Thanks.

Neurotic

cestmoi15 — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 11:55:06 -0800

Tip the salon owner? I just had my eyebrows done by the salon owner. I didn't tip as she's the owner. I think that is the rule... but want to make certain as I'd like to have her do them again...

data point: NYC

How to tip for food where context clashes with protocol.

-harlequin- — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 10:53:48 -0800

Am I tipping correctly? I didn't grow up in the USA, so there is a lot I don't get about the tipping culture. Here's my current confusion:

My understanding is that normally, if a place is set up so that customers pay for their food before they get it, you don't tip, or you leave a tip when you leave, depending on the context / set-up of the establishment.

I'm a regular at a bar that serves food. When I buy a drink, I am served the drink, then I pay and tip. I'm fairly confident this is correct.

But when I also order food with my drink, I have to pay for both, so I am served the drink, pay and tip for the drink AND for the food, even though the food will be delivered to my table later.

But the food is not prepared or delivered by the bar staff, and after I leave, the table is not cleared by the bar staff. There are busers doing that.
(And at busy/chaotic times, this also leads me to having tipped for food that never arrives. That's not a problem - they'll fix it if I ask, but it makes the tipping seem even more senseless)

So I'm wondering if the tip for the food is supposed to be left on the table afterwards instead of at time of purchase. Or if I'm supposed to tip for the food twice?

Added issues:
-If I stop tipping for the food at time of purchase, in order to tip at the table, then it's probably going to be noticed by bar staff and misinterpreted.
-I'm tipping 20-40%, I don't want to double that just to keep everyone happy.
-The bar staff have a better demeanour. Maybe they're supposed to since they're the bar, or maybe the bus staff hates not getting tipped. I wouldn't know.
-Why don't I just ask? It's nearly impossible to be heard just to make the order, and with a queue behind me, probably unwelcome, and the answer I get probably depends on who I ask. Instead, I'd like to know if there is a wider consensus on how to tip in this situation.

thanks

The rattling of change in my brain.

ayerarcturus — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 00:18:45 -0800

EatingOutFilter: With the denominations that we have in the US, is it rude to leave coinage in addition to dollar bills when you're leaving tip? A couple of years ago, I asked one of my friends who was a waitress at several points in her life if she minded receiving loose coins or credit card tips. She gave me a strange look and basically said that whatever form the customer left was fine. All was good, until a month ago one of my friends (a grad student who had never waitressed) told me that leaving coins was a way of indicating that you didn't like the service without going to the extreme measure of not leaving a tip. I didn't think much of it until I was out again tonight, and the same thing happened with a different person. He was never a waiter either, if that's any indication. I have never heard of this custom before this, am I alone? What do the members of the hive mind who have been in the restaurant business think of the generosity/rudeness of leaving coins? I STFW but can't find anything close. (I'm not talking about leaving tens of pennies, just what you'd have in your pocket)

Thanks for picking up my rubbish

ian1977 — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:30:46 -0800

How do I go about holiday tipping? I want to do the right thing and leave a modest tip for the various service people in my life. This is our first year in our own house and I want to set in motion good holiday mojo.

But I am a little clueless about this..

Do you tip the garbage pickup workers?

Recycling pickup?

Mailman?

How much? How? When?

(Minneapolis area if that makes a difference)

Two n00bs walk into a strip club

Anonymous — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 06:49:21 -0800

What's the etiquette for a couple going to strip clubs in Australia? My boyfriend and I (I'm female) went to our first strip club, a classy gentleman's club (as opposed to a dodgy bar) in Brisbane last week. We had been curious about what happens in there for a while. Neither of us had done anything remotely sex-industry-related before, so we were awkward n00bs.

The experience turned out to be a lot of fun - some of the dancers were really good and we even had one of them feed us chocolate (yum!!). It's done wonders for our relationship and we're looking forward to returning to this club sometime in the future.

I think we could have done a bit better etiquette-wise though - we weren't sure what the rules are (aside from what the manager told us) and we did feel a bit "uh is this OK"? So we'd like to be a bit more prepared before our next trip.

1. I was the only non-working-girl in the club that night (it was a weekday night, so it was a bit slower than normal). From reading around, it seems that strippers sometimes avoid m/f couples because they think the girl's been dragged there and would be jealous. Is there any way I can indicate that not only am I cool with my boyfriend being there, that I actually find the whole thing fun and hot? (I'm pansexual and he's straight, if that matters.)

2. What's the policy on tipping? I tipped one of the dancers $5 (she eventually was our "chocolate feeder" girl) but I didn't see too many people doing the same.

3. The manager told us that when getting a private dance, touching anywhere but private parts was OK. We did ask our girl if she was cool with it and she laughed and said "Yes, sure." Even if there already is a long-standing policy, is it better to ask the girl first?

4. We're thinking of buying a lapdance the next time. What can we expect? What can we do/not do? My boyfriend thinks it would be hot for us (him and I) to make out a bit while getting the lapdance - is that actually OK or does that just show how lame we are?

5. Is it normal to ask for a specific girl if you've liked them the last time? Is it too stalkery?

6. We saw some girls that spent ages chatting to some customers, but we hardly had anyone come to our table (probably because of the "jealous girl" thing). How can we get the girls to come chat to us? Do we offer a drink? How do we approach them? We can both be shy at times so asking them directly can be a bit awkward!

Any other tips for strip/gentleman's club enjoyment? Share them our way. You'll be making a n00b geek couple very happy!

(please keep discussion about whether strip clubs are worth going to or not out of it. In Australia it's legal, and - at least in the club we were at - the girls went into it willingly and are well taken care of. I'm a feminist, but also pro-sexuality and pro-sex industry. But anyway, political discussions are offtopic.)

Should I tip if there's a delivery charge?

mizike — Mon, 13 Oct 2008 14:47:24 -0800

I just moved to a new city and all of the restaurants charge a delivery fee, which often amounts to as much as 30% of the total cost, should I tip the delivery person on top of this? Pretty self explanatory question but here's a few more details. My new city has a population of over a million and I'm living right downtown so it's not as if I'm living in some weird place that's a pain to deliver to. I'm talking about getting basic stuff delivered, chinese/thai food, pizza, etc., nothing fancy and no 3rd party delivery services, just straight up delivery from the restaurant during reasonable hours of the day (ie., not 4.am).

I'm generally a pretty good tipper, but due to the delivery charges I feel like I'm getting gouged. Here's an example. I ordered $15 worth of food from a local (10 minutes away on foot) chinese food place. Delivery charge was $5 (33% of the price), and the extra $5 adds another dollar to my standard 20% tip (20% of $15 = $3, 20% of $20 = $4). Factor in tax and the total is over $25 for $15 worth of food. That means that delivery, taxes, and tip account for 40% of the total cost of the meal which seems unreasonably high to me. As such, I'm wondering if I can consider the delivery charge a "built-in tip" and only tip the delivery guy like 5% as I'm already paying for delivery?

I don't want to be a cheapskate, but don't want to feel like I'm getting ripped off either.

Do waiters and waitresses mind people writing for a long time in cafes?

TheManChild2000 — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:20:05 -0800

Don't servers hate it when people camp in coffee houses and cafes for hours to write? There's this constant idea that the place to go to write is some sort of public food/drink spot. But having been a waiter who lived and died by how many times I could turn a table in a given night, all I can think about is the server turning purple with rage as the second hour rolls around of someone clanking away at bad poetry and sipping at the $2 drink they bought and didn't tip on.

Limos in Vegas: Specific advice and general tips?

chudmonkey — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:02:00 -0800

Limos in Vegas: Seeking specific advice and general tips. Can you recommend a limo service in Vegas that represents a good value? I'd prefer a lower rate to fancier cars, but the cars still have to be relatively modern and not likely to be... disheartening in any way.

I need to get 14 people from the MGM Grand to the Little White Wedding Chapel (which is 1/2 mile past the Stratosphere) and then from there to the Mandalay Bay about 30 minutes-1 hour later. Starting at about 9:30 in the morning on a Wednesday in October, hopefully at our final destination at 11:00 am.

Basically, my needs are two 15-minute rides spaced approx. 1 hour apart, but I'm thinking I'll have to book cars for 2 consecutive hours in order to ensure they're readily available to depart the chapel when we need to.

Any thoughts on how to book this, and with whom? If you could suggest tipping standards for the above scenario or your alternates, I'd be obliged. When & how much to tip, particularly.

Tipping maintenance workers?

anotherpanacea — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 10:13:48 -0800

Tipping maintenance work? We've recently moved into a large apartment complex, where there's on-site, salaried maintenance staff that handles most repairs. We had a lot of trouble when we first moved in, and the guy who fixed everything was really prompt and helpful. For instance, he came in at 1 AM on our first night to fix a leak in the bathroom ceiling.

Since then, we've had a few smaller issues, and though he's promised to deal with them, he's failed to follow through for weeks at a time. He's unfailingly polite, but I'm wondering if maybe we were supposed to tip and he's giving us the cold-service-shoulder in hopes that we'll get the message.

So: is it expected that one tip maintenance workers for each job (I know that Christmas gifts are expected) and if so, how much? Or should I simply call the building management and complain?

I fail at math.

Morrigan — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 18:07:57 -0800

After a long day at work, I picked up the check at my favorite restaurant. Checking my receipts today, I realize that I messed up the math and inadvertently left an embarrassingly paltry tip. It was in no way a reflection on the service. What now? Go in and talk to the host? Make it up on a future visit?

How to tip movers in an above-and-beyond situation?

quixxotic — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:05:17 -0800

Unique situation with cross-country move (at least, I think it's unique). Help me figure out what I should tip 'em. I'm getting a large moving company to ship my stuff across the country while I drive separately. After a conversation with the management of the apartment building I'm moving into, I found that there's no way to plop a semi outside the building (and certainly not in the parking deck). They suggest having the movers' semi park at a lot around a half-mile away, and having a pickup truck as the liaison between the lot and the parking deck.

A.) Is this too much above and beyond? Will the movers help get it to my place like this, or is that too much to ask? Not sure if they'll just help me load the pickup and then wait as I and a friend or two make a run to the apartment, or help me the whole nine yards. They're not putting my stuff together once it's there or anything, just helping me unload, after which I'll unpack/put things together myself.

B.) In the event that they help, I'd assume it's a bit above-and-beyond, so I'd like to tip them generously. What would be appropriate?

Background: it's a very small move, equivalent in their book to a one-bedroom apartment. It's essentially a bedroom suite plus the random boxes of my stuff...no living room/dining room/whatever furniture other than the bed, dresser, and nightstand. I'm packing it all myself, and can't stand to watch them do all the work, so I help load/unload (I've moved like this before, BTW). When I moved before, it was into and out of a house at ground level that they could essentially pull right up to, so I'm not sure what to expect. FWIW, I'm a generous tipper, having been there, done that in tipped positions.

I'd like to just make it worth their while if they help me out. Thanks!

How much to tip?

foxinthesnow — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 19:03:06 -0800

Do you tip when you get a carry-out meal? So, when you call a nice restaurant for a carry-out -- one at which, if you sat down at ate your meal, you would tip the server -- do you tip the person who rings you up and gives you your meal? Likewise, do you tip at a counter service restaurant? By counter service, I don't mean fast food like MacDonald's, but something more along the lines of Panera or Cosi?

You see, these restaurants have the tip amount line on the credit card receipt, and I am not sure if I should be writing in a tip? If so, is it the standard 15 -20%?

Tipping etiquette by the event planner at a catered event

sarahnade — Tue, 13 May 2008 09:07:59 -0800

Who and how much should I tip at a catered dinner event that I planned? I'm planning a dinner event for two collaborating groups. It's at a local restaurant in a separate party room, and each guest gets to choose their entree selection from a choice of 3 (seafood, chicken, vegetarian). It doesn't look like the preliminary invoice I was sent includes any tip, although it does include a 19.25% service charge, along with charges for facility rental, food, drink, and set-up of the event. There will be a bar with free wine. We're also going to give a presentation.

Who should I tip, if anyone, and how much? Should I tip each individual as I see fit, or should I try to include it in the total cost of the event? I assume there will be bartenders, servers, and at least one host, who may or may not be the catering manager. The Catering Manager, by the way, has been extremely patient with me as I have never planned an event before in my life. There might also be someone to help us set up for the presentation.

If you have any personal experience (from either side of an event like this), I would love to hear it.

Tattoo Studio Etiquette

Argyle — Fri, 02 May 2008 09:58:19 -0800

Tattoo Studio Etiquette - I'm getting a tattoo, not my first tattoo, but my first artistic one. I understand that you tip the artist, but I'm not sure how much. The estimate is ~$200 for the work, is 20% tip right? Too much? Too little? Thanks in advance for your insight.