Ask MetaFilter posts tagged with Student

Zürich ist zu reich...

stvspl — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 12:24:23 -0800

What do I do in Zürich for five months, and which websites can eliminate the need for this question? (Especially if I'm on a relative budget) I'm moving to Zürich for a study-abroad program for a few months, starting in two weeks. I'm very excited, but realize that I will have a bunch of free time with little idea of what to do. All websites I've found have focused on tourist locations and things, but I assume there have to be some websites focused on locals. Right? (Think Not For Tourists in New York.) Auch spreche ich Deutsch (so German websites are OK). Considering the USD/CHF exchange rate and the fact that I'm fairly poor to begin with, things that take into account money would be great.

If there isn't, I'd love some suggestions of fun places to go, things to see, bars, restaurants, museums, whatever.

If it matters, I'm a college junior, enjoys your typical cultural phenomena, etc etc blah blah blah.

(previously but the internet has changed in 2 years)

Should I go for it?

Picklegnome — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 22:16:16 -0800

I'm an undergrad (rising sophomore) interested in going to law school. Is it worth it to become an NALA Certified Paralegal? I'm looking at taking an online course that would take between seven and seventeen months to complete. If all goes well, I would be finished in seven, studying for the certification alongside my normal undergraduate studies. If I feel overwhelmed, I can cut down on the number of courses I'm taking at once, and focus on my undergraduate studies.

Is it even conceivable that I would get a paralegal job for the summer only? Would it serve me well in my preparation to study law? Will it help in gaining admission to law schools?

General advice as well as personal knowledge appreciated.

Please help me better understand repaying my student loans.

4ster — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 11:11:05 -0800

In 1997, I started making student loan payments, five months after graduating from graduate school. Shortly there after, in a sudden moment of sheer, blinding stupidity, I consolidated my loans, reducing my monthly payment and doubling the term of my loan. I do not want to make payments for 10 more years, however, I cannot figure out how to calculate the money I would save py doubling my payments this November. Arithmetic has never been one of my strengths. I've tried plugging numbers into various online loan calculators, but the numbers don't seem right.

So here goes (I don't know if this is enough information or not:

Monthly payment: $262.51
Original principal balance: $31,298.40
Capitalized interest: $0.00
Outstanding principal balance: $14,953.18
Accrued interest: $121.18
Total amount outstanding: $15,074.36
Interest rate is 8%

What started this all was making a double-payment of $520, and discovering that $449 went to principal, when only $139 of a $265 payment went to principal.

So could someone help me understand how much money we will save by doubling all our payments starting in November, and how to figure this out in the future? If your answer is how to better use an online calculator or just a mathematical formula for figuring this out, I'd appreciate.

Having this kind of information will be great inspiration to stick with it, especially in a couple of months when I'm posting questions like, "Does anyone know some good Ramen Noodle recipees?"

Thanks.

Quick: how do I become a good student?

Anonymous — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 13:41:45 -0800

I'm starting law school next month. I want to do well, but my study habits up till now have been terrible. How do I become a good student and succeed in law school? I'm about to begin law school at one of the best schools in the country. Because I'll be going into roughly $180k of debt for this privilege, I want to do as well as I possibly can. This will require working harder and studying better than I ever have before. The problem is I'm really not sure how.

I've always done well in school, mostly through a combination of natural talent and being able to turn it on when it counts. But not since high school have I been what you might call a "good student." I went to a great college but was fairly apathetic about my classes, skipping most of them, ignoring most of the assigned readings, and starting 10-page papers hours before they were due. My GPA reflected these weak efforts, and it was only through a stellar performance on the LSAT that I managed to squeak into the high-ranking law school that I did.

Now I've resolved to turn over a new leaf and apply myself like I never have before. I know that maintaining my old habits, I could wind up about in the middle of the class and get a decent job out of law school. But I feel like I'd be shortchanging myself and my ambitions if I gave law school anything less than my full, devoted effort. For once, I want to work hard and see where it takes me.

So I have two questions, really. First, how do I become a classically "good student"? Obviously things like going to class and doing all the assigned readings are minimal first steps. But should I be taking notes in class? How do I even do that? How do I highlight stuff I'm reading (and what use is it)? How many hours a day should I spend studying? What should I do in class to keep my attention from wandering 30 seconds into lecture, as it inevitably does? All these little things that most people figured out in high school or at the start of college, I need to learn over the next two months before I begin classes.

Second, what things do I need to know to do well in law school in particular? I know that exams are the main determinants of grades and there are all sorts of approaches to those that I've read about, but how should I be studying throughout the semester so that when exam time comes, I'm not doing my typical last-minute scramble to learn everything I've neglected up to that point? Thanks for any words of wisdom.

Help with student loan

Black_Umbrella — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:17:05 -0800

I am looking for the best general student loan company. What are your experienes with specific student loan companies? So I have managed to pay for the first 4 years of my 5 year program. But now I am completely broke so I need a student loan.

I have talked to a financial officer at my school who more or less said "most are good". What I would like from the hive are some of your experiences with specific loan providers.

Perhaps you may even know the "best of the best" loan providers if you have recently spent time researching this.

My permenent address is considered to be Maryland and my school is located in New Jersey.

I already recieve federal perkins and direct loans.

Misc. Information:
I NEED the loan to cover everything...i.e.: food, housing, books, tuition, etc

I just put myself into credit card debt by flying back to my school from Australia (study abroad). Can I increase my loan to pay off this debt and consolidate it under a better APR?

Am I allowed to increase my loan by a few grand, 3K - 4K, for my own personal use during my last year? Most will be spent on drinks, concerts and the occasional weekend trip - so not exactly a school expense, just a little NECESSARY relaxation.

Would you like some more tax sir?

Smegoid — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:24:03 -0800

Any Canadian graduate students at an American university to help clear this mess up? According to other CDN graduate students and a previous MeFi post we're not to be taxed on our stipends by Canada. However, despite much letter writing and form filling (i.e. form NR73) the Canadian Revenue Agency insists that I file my taxes. So what exactly did you do to get free of them? I previously appealed to MeFi about being a Canadian Grad student in the USA (Would you like to tax that tax sir?). According to the excellent advice I received, Canadian grad students should not have to file Canadian income tax, or at least need not declare their stipend as income. Speaking a to a fellow gaduate students here, I heard same. I was recommended to fill in form NR73 and send it to the CRA which, in theory, should have written me back to say I was deemed non-resident for tax purposes. Well they did just the opposite! According to them since I am not US citizen, I am still a resident of Canada.

Apparently this whole thing boils down to me declaring on form NR73 that I am not considered a resident of the USA. My understand of US law is that CDN graduate students are not considered residents (hence why we file Non Resident Alien tax forms in the USA). However, this ruling seems patently wrong based on what I was told in the above post.

Do any other Canadian graduate students in the US have experience with this? Did your NR73 go through? Thanks for the help!

How to help a young man (dual Turkish-Pakistani citizenship) pursue his education in Western country?

ebellicosa — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 05:37:53 -0800

How to help a young man (dual Turkish-Pakistani citizenship) pursue his education in Western country? We have been travelling in Turkey for a month or so. Recently we met a bright, well-mannered, well-spoken young man (25 years old) whom we would like to help out if we can. His father is Pakistani (ethnic Mongolian) and his mother is Turkish but they are divorced. He has dual citizenship of those two countries and speaks English, Urdu, Persian, and Turkish. He does not feel like he belongs in either country and would like to pursue his education in the West. He has had two years of college and has served the mandatory Turkish military duty. As one can imagine, it is difficult to get around with either of his passports!

Questions
- Have other people been in this situation (met someone while travelling who needs some help)? What kind of help is most useful? What are some dos and donts? Any words of wisdom in general?
- I gathered from a quick search that to enlist in the US military one needs to be a legal resident. Has this changed at all? Are there noncombatant opportunities eg as translator?
- Any practical advice for student visa process for US, Canada or Australia? I gather it is a 6+ month process. Is that about right? I also read that the student needs to demonstrate a 12 month supply of funds. Is that correct?

I know that everybody and his uncle wants to get into the US and it is not a trivial process. My husband is a softie though and likes to help out his fellow man. Any information or advice would be very much appreciated!

I want to become fluent in French by being an exchange student

majikstreet — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 18:09:59 -0800

Studying abroad in high school. Recommendations? Advice? Anecdotes? I'm planning on doing this during the fall semester 2009-2010 (as a junior). Specifically to France.

I'm looking for company recommendations, advice, anecdotes, and whatever else you can say about the topic

Sorry if this question seemed a little disjointed.

Need help with WWOOF and other stay-with-a-stranger programs

theiconoclast31 — Fri, 16 May 2008 08:45:57 -0800

Summer just started, and I'd like to either WWOOF or helpx.net for 3-4 weeks. I've seen the previous AskMefi literature regarding those two sites and read their respective FAQs, but I have a couple worries.

How long from the first contact till the actual visit begins? August 25th is when my summer ends. This seems like enough time, but I'm not sure because WWOOF likes to communicate via snail mail.

I would like to go to the city (by bus, if necessary) at least every weekend, if possible. My guess is that most WWOOF hosts are pretty far from the city, so helpexchange might be the better choice. However, WWOOF seems like a much better established organization. And many listings on helpexchange seem geared towards skilled workers or females. Are these assumptions correct?

Couchsurfing also seemed like a viable way to travel, but I want to travel for upwards of 3 weeks and I don't really have transportation from one couch to the next.

Perhaps relevant: 19, college freshman. Speaks English and decent high school Spanish. Unskilled, unless you happen to need a web developer. Interested in someplace outside of the US and Asia (except maybe Tokyo).

And I'm always interested in reading about positive and negative experiences.

Where should we go?

Anonymous — Mon, 12 May 2008 09:03:33 -0800

How and where to go for two weeks at the end of August? Me and my friend John would like to take a two week vacation together in or about the last two weeks of August.

Some facts:
-we are both poor students
-I'll be studying the language of whatever place we choose in the coming months
-we don't need any fancy accomodations, shelters and hostels are fine
-beaches and warm/tropical places would be nice, but not necessary
-it's not necessary either, but it'd be nice to be able to score mushrooms/acid/weed while we were there since we both enjoy that
-we won't have money to buy plane tickets till july

We don't want to go to:
-Europe/Scandinavia/Canada, anywhere too cold
-places where the dollar will be especially weak compared to local currency

Places we would love to go:
-India (1st choice!!)
-Cheap parts of Asia (ie not Japan)
-Africa
-South America

Basically the deciding factor is where we can get the cheapest plane tickets/accomodations.

So where would be the best place to go, and where can we get the cheapest plane tickets? Please tell us anything you think would be helpful!

Best free budgeting software when being paid twice a year

peacheater — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:40:36 -0800

I need to find a simple, preferably free budgeting program that will allow me to enter income twice a year rather than on a monthly basis. I'm a graduate student who gets paid my stipend twice a year rather than on a monthly basis. This means that I often find myself short of money at the end of the six month period and am in dire need of good budgeting software. So far all the options I've tried haven't worked out well for me. I gave Mint a shot, but it doesn't seem to actually allow one to budget amounts of money. It automatically records bank transactions but usually with a delay of a week or so. This makes it pretty much useless for my purposes. I tried Cha-Ching but found that it didn't seem to have an option for yearly payments. Similar problem with PearBudget. This is my first year living on my own and I'm always doing stupid things like overdrawing my account because I forgot about a rent check and my taxes check and both got cleared at the same time. If you feel that a budgeting software wouldn't be the best option for me I'd love to hear your strategies for effective budgeting too.

What gift to thank an advisor?

Anonymous — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 07:29:16 -0800

What are some good appreciation gift ideas for a thesis advisor who was kind when the project took far longer than originally planned? I did an undergraduate thesis in college. My paper took about, um, a year longer to finish than it should have due to some personal issues and some challenges with the paper itself. My advisor had to deal with some hassles because of this as well, and was always very patient and cool about it. He also went out of his way to get my paperwork submitted at the last minute (due to me taking so long). All of the paperwork was recently tied up and I'm officially done now. I want to send a thank-you note and a small gift of appreciation to his office, but I know nothing about the protocol for this or what would be an appropriate gift?
He's a fairly young professor, not super formal, and other than that I know he likes music a lot and has young kids. I hate giving non-relatives gift certificates because it seems too monetary and less thoughtful. I also am trying to avoid anything too office-ish like a fruit basket or a mug or whatever. Any suggestions on an appropriate gift that one could give in this situation? I am somewhat broke so it can't be anything too fancy, unfortunately.

Will the government be taking more of my money?

TheArpenter — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 16:46:04 -0800

Will I be losing my stimulus check because of back student loans that I am now paying? Basically, I was a deadbeat and didn't pay my student loans for... oh about 4 years. Yes, it was dumb. Now, I have decided to be a grownup, and two months ago started paying them after their seized my tax return. I created a schedule of payment and have not been late.

Will I be losing my stimulus check? According to the collection agency Sallie Mae uses they will no longer be going after my wages to pay this debt since I have created a payment plan with them.

I am in the US, and thanks for all your help. (Please be nice, this is my first ever post on anything Metafilter!)

Seeking guidance with financial planning (loans, down payment, more)

mintchip — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:55:09 -0800

Seeking guidance with financial planning (loans, down payment, more) I've searched through the questions already asked but didn't see anything quite like this. My situation:

1. I am graduating with a very large student loan debt (more than 50k, less than 100k).
2. I have excellent credit.
3. I have no other debt or loans.
4. I have some retirement savings.
5. I don't expect to have a huge salary.
6. I am considering going back for another degree in a year or two--probably one that would result in a significantly higher salary

I'm going to move home for a year or two. I am considering using my cost savings to pay off a large portion of my loans. This appeals to me, except for a few reasons:

1. If I do go back to school (and this is by no means a definite), will having a large debt be to my advantage as far as getting need-based grants and other aid from my school?
2. It seems like housing prices are going to keep going down. Many of the people I know who are financially well off got that way by buying their home when real estate values were low. I could potentially save a large down payment (>20%) in a short amount of time. Also, although my loans are burdensome, the rates aren't horrible (they are all federal loans) and with inflation they will get a little less painful over time (in other words, a fixed monthly payment of $xx will feel like a lot less a few years into the future when money has less value).
3. Although unlikely, is it possible that the government would offer debt relief opportunities for people saddled down by student loans--let's say if the economy gets even worse?

I could also pay off a big chunk of the loans (but not all) and then start saving for a down payment.

(Is it worth it to see a financial planner?)

How to license my songs to a student filmmaker?

ludwig_van — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 20:58:28 -0800

What arrangements should I make with a student filmmaker who wants to use my music in his film? Someone contacted me via e-mail about using two of my songs on the soundtrack to his film. He tells me he's a college student and that his total budget for the film is $500-$1,000. He says he will release the film on DVD next year, he doesn't have much of an advertising campagin planned, and he'll mainly be selling the DVDs at school, online, and to friends and families of cast/crew.

The songs are from an album which I produced as a college student and self-released, so I understand where he's coming from. I don't plan on asking him for any money, but what exactly should I say? Do I just explain how I'd like my credit to appear and ask for a copy of the film when it's ready? Or are there other bases I should cover?

What kind of visa do I need and where do I get it?

venividivici — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:17:16 -0800

I'm completely confused about UK immigration policy and am getting conflicting information re: extended stays for academic research. I'm an American graduate student, currently enrolled in a Ph.D program at an American university. In February, I flew to England to live in Yorkshire and do research for four months. I was planning on returning to the States in early June, but I have since received several fellowships and grants that I applied for last fall, which means that I now have enough money to continue my research in England for another 16 months. Great news!

However, I don't understand what kind of visa I now need to get. The immigration officer at Heathrow admitted me as a tourist for the usual six months (expiring around August 4th), after which I would obviously be overstaying. The info on the British consulate website seems to indicate that my position (graduate student) isn't "important" or high-status enough to apply for an academic research visa. It also says that the scheme for "sponsored researchers" was discontinued and that I should enter under the work permit scheme. This makes no sense, since I won't have an employer in the UK; I'm getting money from American grant agencies. Finally, I can't get a student visa because I'm not enrolling in a UK program. I'm still officially enrolled in the United States and will have no formal ties with any UK academic institution.

The US British consulate hasn't responded to my emails, so I turn to you, hive mind. My questions are:

1) What kind of visa do I need to get?
2) Can I get said visa from here in England, now that I'm already in the country? Do I really have to fly all the way back to the States and go to the British consulate in NYC?

Many thanks for your help. These immigration codes are about as comprehensible to me as tax law.

How to be a good graduate student

peacheater — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:43:01 -0800

Help me be a better graduate student. I'm a first year computational biology PhD student at Cornell. I came here directly after my undergrad and I'm having a hard time transitioning between my undergrad and graduate school. I think I'm a good undergrad student. I go to classes and participate enthusiatically, I do homework regularly, take exams seriously etc. I have a 4.0 GPA here. I find, however, that there's a whole other skill set that graduate school demands -- steady, persistent work with no immediate payoff. I'm easily distracted and am always leaping from one shiny idea to another. It also doesn't help that my undergraduate school was in India and allowed me far less freedom in terms of what courses I could take and choices I could make. While I have spent my first year taking courses that have direct application to my research I can't help but be tempted by courses on, for example, Women and Science or Science Writing for the Mass Media, especially since I really didn't have an opportunity to take courses unrelated to my major in undergraduate school. Would it be completely irresponsible to take a "fun" course once in a while? Cornell seems to encourage students taking courses unrelated to their work. So far I've been lucky in that all the professors I've done a lab rotation with have expressed interest in my joining their lab (it helps that I come with a generous fellowship). But I find myself awkward and unsure of myself around them. Everyone else seems to slip into this casually deferential relationship with their advisor so easily. Finally, I find it amazing how graduate students here seem to maintain this mental directory of the people involved in their area of expertise: who knows whom, who worked with whom on what, who is whose student. It's all so confusing and impenetrable to me. How does one begin to do that? So, in sum, give me your advice for being a better graduate student -- especially regarding work habits, classes, making connections with faculty and figuring out who's connected to whom.

Buying an Oscilloscope

phrontist — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 06:28:57 -0800

I'm an electrical engineering student/hobbyist looking to buy an oscilloscope. I'd like to spend around $200 ($300 max, probes/shipping included). What should I look for, and where? I think dual trace is worth having to compare signals. I'm not sure what I need bandwidth wise... I don't intend to do much radio work, so 10Mhz seems sufficient (in what other instances would I need more?).

How can I teach someone high school math in 6 months?

LSK — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 17:31:52 -0800

There's a smart freshman who's going to be in my school's Academic Decathlon team next year. However, Academic Decathlon tests over all of high school math, so I ask: How can I teach a fast learner an overview of high school math in around 7 months? There's a smart freshman who's going to be in my school's Academic Decathlon team next year. However, Academic Decathlon tests over all of high school math, so I ask: How can I teach a fast learner an overview of high school math in around 7 months?

He already knows a bit of algebra. I don't know what he was taught in elementary school. I think that he'll be able to pick up the forumlae of geometry quickly - perhaps not its elegance, but certainly its formulas. I think that trig'll be a bit of a stumbling block, but the derivative will be straightforwards.

The testing material is, according to Academic Decathlon:

- 10% "general math", including permutations and probability of equally likely events
- 30% algebra, including polynomial equations, inequalities, functions, complex numbers, graphs, and sequences/series.
- 30% geometry, including right triangles, coordinates, plane figures, and congruency.
- 20% trig, including right triangle relationships, trig functions, inverse trig functions, graphs, identities, and trig equations.
- 10% calculus, including limits, derivatives, antiderivatives, tangent lines, rates of change, maxima/minima, and inflection points/concavity.

Can has higher education?

Anonymous — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 04:09:34 -0800

How does one apply for financial aid at a public university as an independent party? This is to imply there will not be financial assistance from the parent/guardian; is there a way for their income to be excluded as criteria in evaluating aid eligibility? The situation is this. A student has been attending a public university for the past two years and has been denied financial aid from the government and university for both years. These applications included the parents financial records/income.

The situation has changed and the parent will no longer be financially able to assist in payment for tuition/housing for certain reasons and the student will be one their own. The income of the guardian is such that financial aid requests have been denied in the past but various obligations/expenses make supporting multiple college tuition bills unfeasible.

Is there a way for the student to prove financial independence from the parents and have their request evaluated solely on their income and financial situation? Would this simply require not being claimed as a dependent?

This is for a California university if this impacts the situation at all. This question at MeFi is meant to serve as the groundwork prior to meeting with the university financial aid office. I assume this it's not possible for one to just say their parents will not be assisting in paying for one's education since most everyone would do that. Any help is appreciated, MeFites.

How deep a hole is this?

peacheater — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:37:10 -0800

One of my boyfriend's student loans just got turned over to a collection agency. How bad is this? He's a graduate student and has several student loans. He's always been prompt with payments, including slowly paying off the principal. He assumed that this loan would be automatically deferred since he's still a graduate student, just like his other student loans. He even called them a few months ago and then they told him that the deferment was taken care of. Now, without any warning, they've turned it over to a collection agency. He never received an email, a letter or a phone call before this happened. It seems really unfair to me that my boyfriend should be punished because the company misled him. He now has to fill out a form saying that he's still in school and send it to them. My question is: how bad is this going to look on his credit report? Is there any way for him to get this completely removed from it? Basically, what recourse does he have to fight this?

How to inspire teenage graduates in 25 words or less?

Elmore — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 16:10:30 -0800

Asking for a friend: I'm looking for a short story/anecdote/or whatever that encapsulates the teacher/student relationship. A sentence, short story, poem, song or novel where the point is that education doesn't end at graduation and that teachers - in their infinite adult wisdom - will always have something to learn from their students.

Grasshopper and Ant

Corky — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:46:00 -0800

Will a single parent selling a home that has appreciated a lot and that has a very low mortgage payment, then buying a much more expensive house with all of the proceeds help make the child more (or less) eligible for financial aid (not loans) for college? My SO and his ex are the parents of a 17 year old girl, junior in high school. College plans are being discussed by everyone, although the parents haven't had a sit-down to talk about particulars since last summer. Each is obligated by divorce decree to pay for 1/2 of in-state tuition for the state college (in this case U of MD). FAFSA forms have not been completed, primarily due to a reluctance on the part of the ex to disclose her substantial income. (This came out in the only talk the two parents had on the subject, sometime last summer.) Mom did hire a college financial aid "expert" last summer. His suggestions included having the kid move in with Dad because Dad makes less money, and "goggling" for scholarships. (He really did misspell Google!) That was $500 thrown down the toilet, but I'm not sure that Mom isn't getting equally bad advice from someone else. Here's why...

Very recently, the ex put her house on the market. She and the daughter went house-shopping, and when we saw the girl next she was absolutely thrilled with the prospect of moving into a beautiful new home near her school. The new home would be in the $1,000,000 range... which nearly made me choke. The house the ex is selling is on the market for $619,000. The daughter wasn't supposed to share these details with me, but we're very close. She slipped up in her glee and when I asked her why they were thinking of moving, she said "Mommy thinks it would be bad for financial aid for her to have a really low mortgage payment and a large income."

I did some research, and I'm still confused. It appears that the income from my SO is not counted toward family ability to pay. It also appears that FAFSA doesn't take into consideration what they call "lifestyle choices" against a parents ability to pay. Several articles I read said that it is a choice to live in a nicer neighborhood or drive a newer car, and that those choices are not reasons to qualify for more aid.

My SO fully intends to help his daughter in every way, but we're limited by our not-substantial incomes. We own a modest townhouse, he drives a six year old Honda, we don't take expensive vacations or spend a lot of money on ourselves. We carry our lunches to work. A big night for us is a movie date in front of our tv. Plus, neither of us has any real money set aside for retirement. Our retirement plan is to pay off our house by the time he retires. Mom, on the other hand, drives a new Lexus SUV, has a timeshare in the Bahamas, takes vacations each year to Sonoma AZ, and other resorts, and has expensive tastes. She's passed some of these tastes on to the daughter, who wants to attend a presigious school. Columbia is at the top of the daughter's wish list. Columbia is very, very expensive. Mom is pushing for Columbia, among other pricey schools.

My SO and I still hope that she would decide to attend U of MD and perhaps get merit scholarships (she will graduate from an IB school with honors, has taken AP tests and scored 5s, and just took her SATs... no surprise that she has an excellent score). If she was able to finish her undergrad schooling without incurring a ton of debt, that would be great. Her dad would still set aside in her 529 plan any money he didn't have to pay for undergrad years. This would go toward her grad school costs. We have heard no such plans from her mother, and my SO hasn't yet asked her what her plan would be. We don't think she has any plans to set aside money for college out of the proceeds from selling her house... the daughter told us that "Mom is going to put it all on the downpayment so she can afford the monthly payment, but it will still be a lot more than she pays now."

It's a touchy subject. He doesn't know how much money she makes, and has never asked; she doesn't have a clue how much (or how little) he makes, and she's fiercely independant. Aside from this potential tension, we all get along fine. Really. We actually like each other.

So. For any of you who have faced anything similar, can you shed some light? I'm primarily concerned that the daughter isn't somehow penalized in the financial aid department because her mom is receiving lousy advice. If this new home purchase is being made to make the ex look poor on paper and it backfires, the daughter will have to pay the price. That price might mean taking out student loans, or attending a less expensive school. While a less expensive school is not the end of the world, I would hate to see this child saddled with a huge debt burden, while her mom gets to live in a $1,000,000 house and plead poverty. We've already told the daughter that the ultimate choice about where to go will be hers - her first adult decision. If she decides to be prudent and not go into debt, that will be a good thing. If she is forced to take out many thousands of dollars in loans because her Mom made a mistake... well, it's not too late to have that discussion and at least give Mom a contrarian opinion.

Grasshopper and Ant.

Is there any good reason to tell someone what I really think of them?

b33j — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 15:38:25 -0800

I dropped out of a course and extended the time my degree will take, partly in order to avoid a difficult fellow student. She wants to know if she's got anything to do with it. Should I tell her? Why? The following all happened quite quickly. I was recently enrolled in a professional subject which caps off my degree (which I am completing by distance education). The assessment is centred on a group-work. I made the mistake of teaming up with another high-achiever. In a very short time, she took over the project, and all the tasks that I would be responsible for, and made a number of non-collaborative decisions. I sent her a pleasant email (that I agonised over), praising her contributions and asking that she reconsider her management style so that others could also contribute. She ignored the email, did not acknowledge it at all and stopped all contact. I felt really stressed because this course is year long, and I didn’t want to be both struggling with the complex requirements of this course and with a team member all year.

I had a weekend away and considered my options and decided to postpone this course until next year. This means that my degree which would have taken 3 years will now take 4. I withdrew from the course and advised the lecturer and the student. In reply, she’s asked if she had anything to do with my decision.
Should I tell her? There’s probably no lasting consequence to me if I do, but I have no doubt she will be hurt by this. The other thing is, she’s not responsible for my inability to deal with despots, is she? What’s the appropriate, adult thing to do?

Living in Berkeley as a Grad Student

barnacles — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 07:59:38 -0800

Tell me what it's like to live in Berkeley, from the point of view of a grad student. I've been there just once for a few days, and mostly saw the campus, so I don't really feel like I have a good grasp of the city (though from what little I saw of it, it seemed pretty cool). What's good? What's bad? Where to live? Where not to live? Where is the good coffee, the best bars, and out-of-the-way places that I'd definitely want to check out? Is there anything you wish you had known prior to living there?

Additionally, are there any websites I should check out to get a handle on the community and what's going on there?