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like tupperware, but for stress

Basically I'm curious what tips and tricks folks have for compartmentalizing, so stress in one area of your life has less of an impact on other areas. [more inside]
posted by pennypiper on Apr 16, 2014 - 9 answers

 

Parent may have cheated the other out of significant money. What to do?

I think one of my (divorced) parents may have withdrawn legally shared assets and the other parent may be unaware. What is my moral responsibility in this situation, or is it none of my business? Complexities inside. [more inside]
posted by corb on Apr 16, 2014 - 18 answers

Persistant Nausea and eating(YANMD)

I'm going on two months of frequent nausea. Sometimes I throw up, most times I don't. Otherwise I generally feel fine (no fatigue, headaches, other pain aside from my possible endometriosis, sniffles, fever or anything else). I've been to my GP. [more inside]
posted by AlexiaSky on Apr 14, 2014 - 24 answers

Small business guru, may I sit at your feet?

You've started a small business, things have been tough, you've been staring down the barrel of failure, but you've turned it around, you made it work. How did you do it? What changes in practice and attitude really made a difference to your success? What resources did you draw upon? I'd really like to hear how you made it through the tough times. If your business is arts/craft related, even better. [more inside]
posted by M.Onniker on Apr 7, 2014 - 4 answers

Coping strategies for dealing with the public, please!

Do you have a job where you deal with the public? If so, how do you deal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2014 - 13 answers

I don't learn/recall as well in my thirties. Strategies?

What are some strategies to keep the mind in its best condition to learn, retain, and recall as we age? Its much harder and psychologically daunting for me to keep "fresh" than it was just a few years ago. How do I halt the decline or improve the situation? [more inside]
posted by meantime on Mar 26, 2014 - 11 answers

Staying effective despite caregiver stress

Can any caregivers here offer tips on managing bandwidth (time and emotions)? Looking specifically for practical tricks/hacks to quickly switch mood states when time allocated to productive work is interrupted by big and small worries. [more inside]
posted by cotton dress sock on Mar 24, 2014 - 13 answers

If I could just care less about my work, I'd do a better job.

I'm the kind of person who gets worried enough they'll do their work not well, or make a mistake, that they end up either not starting or working too slowly and filled with dread. Last week, I had to work late on a project. I had two beers in the process, found I cared less about the anxiety and dread and perfectionism, and just did a better, less stressful job. I want to do this without drinking. [more inside]
posted by Ash3000 on Mar 24, 2014 - 14 answers

How do I stop swearing at my computer at work?

I recently began working in an office after many years working from home. I'm programming at a computer and I've become aware that I tend to swear quietly at the PC when things frustrate me. It is particularly evident when stressed or under a deadline. I'd like to stop doing this. [more inside]
posted by zingzangzung on Mar 21, 2014 - 17 answers

Question for people with OCD

I was never diagnosed but it is pretty clear that I have OCD. I understand that irrational guilt, doubt, and anxiety are classic issues associated with OCD. Are there any tricks or ways that anyone can say has helped them to step back and evaluate circumstances somewhat objectively to decide if guilt and anxiety towards something is appropriate or irrational? I have found that explaining a set of circumstances to people whose opinion I trust and them telling me that my concern is irrational has only helped a little. Thank You. P.S. I have already set up a first meeting with a psychologist so that base is covered.
posted by anonymous on Mar 15, 2014 - 12 answers

Load testing a website?

What's a good free or cheap service for load/stress testing a website?
posted by signal on Mar 14, 2014 - 10 answers

dealing with bereavement

I am having trouble dealing with the loss of my parent. What did you do during a period of acute loss that helped you hang in? [more inside]
posted by sockanalia on Mar 5, 2014 - 24 answers

How do you stay calm in your stressful job?

Looking for: Ideas of how to deal with stress while at the job (counting, reading, taking my lunch time alone) and ideas on how to deal with the stress once the job is technically over (running, skating, reading, gardening, going to church, etc.) [more inside]
posted by caudal on Mar 3, 2014 - 14 answers

How to cope with a long distance relationship & losing my independence?

I'm 21, I've been living in Canada for six months with my originally long distance partner and now I need to return home for financial and health reasons, leaving my girlfriend and new friends behind. I need advice and coping strategies to deal with a return to a long distance relationship with an unknown reunion date, returning home and then moving to a smaller house where I will have to share a room with my 18 year old brother for at least five months. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Feb 26, 2014 - 4 answers

Exhausted, stressed and need some coping strategies for hard times

I'm exhausted and burned out from a work project that's been going on for the past six months and won't be done for another 2-4 weeks. A week and a half ago, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and his prognosis is not good. I need some strategies for dealing with all of this when I already feel like I'm close to the breaking point. Details below. [more inside]
posted by SockISalmon on Feb 20, 2014 - 6 answers

How can I deal with looming burnout as a mature student?

I’ve been doing a kind of post-bac for the past couple of years and am in the home stretch, but I’m feeling burned out, given a long commute and care-taking obligations. What can I do to help myself push through? [more inside]
posted by cotton dress sock on Feb 18, 2014 - 14 answers

Anxiety/Stress: Has anyone had luck with Buspar?

I recently started Wellbutrin for depression, and although it is helping with the mood, my anxiety is getting out of hand. Small things stress me out to no end. I have tried benzos for short-term anxiety issues, but I would not like to get hooked on them. My psychiatrist recommended Buspar to be taken with the Wellbutrin, but my friend told me that he was on it and it was little better than a placebo. I would like to hear peoples' experiences on Buspar, with or without Wellbutrin; did it make a difference in your anxiety/stress levels? Should I give it a chance, or is it a waste of time? Are there any other medications that would offset the increase in anxiety that Wellbutrin is giving me? [more inside]
posted by CottonCandyCapers on Feb 14, 2014 - 30 answers

Why can't I handle multiple responsibilities?

I'm having a hard time balancing school, work, and social life. Teach me how to get my shit together or help me realize that I can't handle everything I've taken on. [more inside]
posted by DayTripper on Feb 11, 2014 - 12 answers

Help me not fall apart.

I need to get out of this dysfunctional work place but I'm stuck and feel myself breaking down. [more inside]
posted by peasncarrots on Feb 9, 2014 - 16 answers

Screwed up at work. Now what?

I learned last night that a temporary employee did only part of a job I needed him to do, making it basically useless. Now what? [more inside]
posted by kat518 on Feb 4, 2014 - 20 answers

Finding meaningful work and having an awesome marriage

I'm struggling with choosing between a town I don't like, my marriage and starting a career as after graduating in April 2013. Where should I go from here? [more inside]
posted by snowysoul on Jan 31, 2014 - 11 answers

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone...

How to enjoy 'me-time'? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Jan 30, 2014 - 10 answers

How to best support my partner with a stressful academic job?

I'm in a LTR and my partner is unhappy in her academic job and considering a major career change. How can I best support her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2014 - 11 answers

Dealing with stress and comparmentalization.

Problems with the SO, family acting irrationally and Career in a turbulent state. Help me find a way of dealing with the stress! [more inside]
posted by perspicaturous on Jan 23, 2014 - 13 answers

Need help navigating my next steps with my job

I'm unhappy, and I'm planning to leave this city as soon as I can get things straightened out. [more inside]
posted by winterportage on Jan 16, 2014 - 13 answers

How can I get better at event planning, since I'm stuck doing it?

I have come to realize after attempting to plan my own wedding, and now landing two nonprofit jobs that involve some degree of event planning, that I hate it, and I am really bad at it. Since these are the jobs I have, how can I improve? [more inside]
posted by chaiminda on Jan 16, 2014 - 12 answers

Should I request a transfer? Get a new job?

I am currently working a job I've been at for 4 months. I haven't really enjoyed said job (particularly the hours it has required), and have recently suffered a setback that has made it more difficult than ever for me to deal with it. I was thinking of requesting a transfer, but I'm not sure if that's the right idea. I'd really like things not to backfire. [more inside]
posted by Sakura3210 on Jan 15, 2014 - 13 answers

what kind of therapy or practice will help my work stress?

My new job is really stressful. The tools we use are slow, buggy, and unreliable; while the pace is frantic and the volume of the work is extremely high. During the day, my stress levels often rise to the point where I'm holding my breath and my heart is pounding, even though I'm just sitting there -- in fact, I'm often sitting there for hours at a time, because there's so much to do, I can't even get up and take a stretching break to calm down. I'd like to develop the ability to calm myself down quickly and reliably. Have you taught yourself to do this? How? [more inside]
posted by fingersandtoes on Jan 12, 2014 - 15 answers

How do I work productively at ANY time in ANY mood?

I have trouble getting work done if I'm not in the right mood, which is a rarity. I've become an extreme avoider of anything that will make me mad or frustrated or remind me of things that make me mad and frustrated. The problem is that I’m the number two in a small, overly-ambitious company that may just be the most frustrating one in existence. So I have what many would call an impossible workload and also a massive amount of frustration. The latter unfortunately usually cancels out the former for me and leads to much more of both. Oh, and I can’t easily quit, because it’s a family business and my boss/dad’s life’s work. Simply put, I need to do a complete 180. I need to go from being an emotionally-scarred avoider to a guy that can do what needs to be done even when he feels like screaming until his lungs explode. Paper thin skin to tank armor. I’ve taken too long to realize that if I don’t solve this now, it may ruin the company and my life. I’ll take whatever you can give me: advice, coping techniques, books or articles I should read, websites and online communities I should visit, specific counseling suggestions (not just “get counseling”), whatever. I just can’t take it anymore. [more inside]
posted by KinoAndHermes on Jan 6, 2014 - 23 answers

Returning to a stressful home environment during school breaks

I'm in my early twenties. Whenever I come home during breaks in school, I find the atmosphere at home unbearably stressful. It's so bad that my sister (who is in college and also comes home for breaks) and I prefer to stay literally paralyzed with anxiety in bed all day or either leave the house for most of the day. It mostly boils down to the fact that we can get yelled at for almost anything we do. There is no way to win-- I will get yelled at or criticized or caught in some argument over the most ridiculous thing no matter what I do. Alternatively, I will have to watch my siblings get yelled at for something equally innocuous. My siblings and I walk on eggshells all day. It's exhausting. But I love my parents. I already don't see them very much and I just want to enjoy the time I have with them. How can I better do this? Any tips or strategies to reduce the stress? [more inside]
posted by gemutlichkeit on Dec 29, 2013 - 18 answers

Procrastineation

How to stop stress/procrastination/self-punishing/comfort binge eating? [more inside]
posted by dinosaurprincess on Dec 28, 2013 - 5 answers

How do I make peace with the stress of contributing to society?

Having a career is hard work (Duh). But I didn't know it would be this... all-consuming. How can I stay happy and stress-free when I suddenly have a tiny fraction of the "me time" I used to have? [more inside]
posted by johnpoe50 on Dec 14, 2013 - 17 answers

Should I apologize to my girlfriends parents for not moving in with her?

My girlfriend and I were due to move in together (rental). I pulled to plug with a week to go. To rescue the relationship my girlfriend says I must first apologise to her parents. [more inside]
posted by JIMSMITH2000 on Dec 10, 2013 - 68 answers

What to do about a difficult roommate part II

This happened before. Since then there have been multiple recurrences of shouting/aggressive talking, door-slamming, and general verbal and nonverbal weirdness. My other roommates are open to asking her to find somewhere else to live, but seem to be looking to me. We have a house meeting tonight and I was asked if I want to bring this up. I'm... uncomfortable and also in finals and then leaving for a number of weeks. What should I do, and how should I do it? [more inside]
posted by c'mon sea legs on Dec 9, 2013 - 29 answers

How do I break up with a partner who is going through a rough time?

My partner of several years and I are in a long-distance relationship, and I think I've come to the point where, due to a whole bunch of things (which probably mostly rely on a fundamental difference in what we want in terms of a romantic relationship), that I want out. At the same time, I do care about them, and since they are in a really rough spot, I don't want to abandon them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2013 - 19 answers

How can I best help my depressed friends & also take care of myself?

I watch many people who I care a lot about suffer from depression. I would sincerely do anything to help them, and do whatever I can think of: conversations, little notes and random texts, hanging out, offering help with thinking through options if they want it, etc. But, as someone who is lucky to not have 'been there', it's hard to know when I'm crossing a line and what's really needed. In fact, I think most of my efforts translate to "I know you mean well, but..." even though I'm also one of the few people these friends go to when things get bad. On top of worrying and trying to help, I also spend (probably too much) time thinking about what they're going through and what would be most helpful. It's exhausting for me and stressful, but it's personally not an option not to care. I end up internalizing this stuff and it affects my normal activities, even though at the end of the day, I'm not the one suffering. I want to be as good a friend and resource as possible to these people I truly care about and also want to avoid falling victim to anxiety or depression myself because of it. Any tips from either the 'been there' - depressed and knows what's helpful - perspective or the sincerly-caring-friend side of this equation would be much appreciated. Thanks.
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2013 - 15 answers

Back to school with Fs in sex and social life.

I just started an intense school program and I have very little sex drive or social drive. This is frustrating for my boyfriend. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 8, 2013 - 8 answers

Even meditating overwhelms me with fear and rage.

I have anxiety and depression, and I'm starting to realise that underneath that is a bubbling fount of rage. I need some suggestions for coping with and dismantling the anger I'm feeling. I didn't realise it before, but I'm angry pretty much all the time, except when I'm with my boyfriend, scared, or distracting myself via escapism. And even then, it's still there. I'm looking in to going back to therapy, and I'm currently on antidepressants. I've tried meditating, but it just stresses me out or gives me panic attacks- to be honest, I hate it. What are some suggestions for coping with this?
posted by windykites on Nov 7, 2013 - 27 answers

Nervous cat advice: Over-grooming

How can I help my lady cat calm down and stop over-grooming during a difficult time? [more inside]
posted by Young Kullervo on Nov 1, 2013 - 12 answers

I'm not on this diet to alienate you, I promise!

I'm on a diet that many (most) people would consider very restrictive if not downright odd. It's for health reasons, though I don't have any visible health or weight issues. I'm going to be spending several days with my boyfriend visiting his family over the holidays, and I'm dreading trying to navigate the weird food issues that will likely arise. If you are on a specific diet, how do you get around not eating various things that people are expected to eat (especially around the holidays)? [more inside]
posted by whistle pig on Oct 24, 2013 - 50 answers

I desperately want to be who she needs: emotion control advice

I'm caring for my sick and declining wife, but my own anger issues have made me a terrible caregiver at times, let alone partner. We both love each other deeply, and want to spend our final years together, but if I can't stop making her miserable I have to go. I'm already pursuing therapy, have a psychiatrist, etc. I am not ashamed to seek help; the stakes are so high. I will be devastated if I have to walk away because I am a toxic presence, and so I'm determined to address my problems and be the husband she needs. I'm seeking ideas and advice on how to eliminate the bad so we can enjoy the good. More below... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 23, 2013 - 55 answers

Urgent family illness and academic deadline

I have a complicated relationship with my family. An elderly relative is dying in the next few weeks. I have an extremely important deadline coming up. I need help in coping. [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Oct 16, 2013 - 8 answers

How much cleaning should I do before the cleaning person arrives?

I'm becoming irrationally anxious about the housecleaning service that's happening at my apartment this afternoon. I don't know what's reasonable to expect, how much prep I should do beforehand or how much I should manage the person they're sending over. [more inside]
posted by under_petticoat_rule on Oct 9, 2013 - 20 answers

Was I sexually violated?

Was I sexually violated? I keep obsessing about this, I don't know if the other parties care or have declared me a pariah [more inside]
posted by Jewel98 on Oct 6, 2013 - 42 answers

Double expresso please

How have significant others helped you while you were under exam pressure ? [more inside]
posted by oink on Sep 29, 2013 - 12 answers

What to do about a difficult roommate?

I freely admit I'm not good at having aggression directed towards me, so I can't tell what to do. Essentially, cultural differences are making it really hard to get along with my roommate. Please help this co-op living delicate flower (me) coexist happily with my very German roommate! Like everyone, I am a special snowflake. This is long and detailed because I'm processing as I write. [more inside]
posted by c'mon sea legs on Sep 29, 2013 - 48 answers

Stress Savers

I'm entering what I expect to be a very busy year: busy full-time job with frequent evening and weekend work, graduate classes one night a week (plus homework), and a large writing project due next year. I find that I can get really overwhelmed and stressed when my schedule gets locked in and deadlines line up. I'm trying to find ways to simplify and ease my daily life so that I don't add additional stressors. What are your best time- and stress-saving tips for getting through intensely busy times? [more inside]
posted by Miko on Sep 12, 2013 - 27 answers

Stress Dreams Ruining My Sleep

I am waking up in the middle of the night every night due to panicky stress dreams/half-dreams that are about my job. Is there a way to stop this without having to find a new job? [more inside]
posted by windbox on Aug 31, 2013 - 11 answers

Like water off a duck’s back

You are chill. You’re not a worrier. Being under pressure hardly ruffles your feathers at all. How do you do it? [more inside]
posted by Serene Empress Dork on Aug 26, 2013 - 38 answers

Escaping a sick system

It's clear to me that my job is a sick system, and I don't know how to get out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2013 - 12 answers

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