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Sketchy encounter while jogging, what now? How do I avoid future confrontations like these?

Anonymous — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:38:53 -0800

A lady used my cell phone to call her boyfriend who had just taken her gas money and left; it seemed like a normal (err, kinda) situation until she told me not to tell anyone I saw or talked to her. Should I report this somehow, or am I overreacting? I stepped out for a jog around 9PM as I hadn't been out for a while. After my first lap around the part of the neighborhood I jog in, I received a text and promptly pulled out my cell phone (yes, I'm a teenager). When I did so, a lady on the side of the road came over and wanted to use my cell, going on about how her boyfriend left her here with no ride or anything.

Apparently he drove over to pick her up, took a small amount of cash from her to use for gas, and then left her to go somewhere else -- I didn't catch where, it was either his dad's or his brother's place, the lady was talking too fast for me to keep up. She kept freaking out, wanting to go over to his place to see if he was really there. She also went on about how she needed a ride there, but when I suggested calling someone she knew she didn't really seem to have anyone to call, as she would ignore me or say something vague (like "yeah...").

The lady dialed and redialed her boyfriend's number using *67 multiple times (the counter on my phone went up to around 14, and she also had me delete the number off my recent calls list a few times), despite that half the time it went to voicemail due to him shutting the phone off. She seemed pretty distressed, so I just let her have the phone whenever she asked to call again, though eventually I got pretty uncomfortable.

It all seemed normal (ish) until she started asking questions that put me on the defensive -- she asked if I had an older brother or friend who could drive her over (not that personal, but I'm a minor so this was a bit iffy, didn't seem appropriate for her to do) and where I lived.

Then, the first time she seemed like she was about to leave, she said to me, "Don't call the cops on me, 'kay?" and laughed a bit, trying to play it off like it was a joke. When she actually did leave, she told me not to tell anyone in the neighborhood I saw or spoke to her, which set a multitude of alarms off in my head.

So, MeFi, here are my questions:

1) Should I actively do something to alert someone, whether it be parents (I'm a minor) or authorities about this situation? If so, who, and what main points do I need to focus on or say?

2) Do I have a legitimate reason to be worried about this, or am I just a little shaken because she started asking personal questions, and her little comments near the end?

3) Should I be worried about my personal safety? Not only because of her remarks not to tell anyone, namely the cops, but also because while we were standing around several cars drove by; quite a few slowed down a lot, and though she seemed to recognize a few "neighbors" or "friends," they didn't stop for her. Also, should I worry about someone having my phone number, despite that she used *67 to dial with?

4) How do I avoid situations like this in the future? By this, I mean, how can I get myself to firmly reject someone's request for help? I don't mean to be an ass, but after a few minutes of standing there with her on my phone, I realized what a stupid choice I made -- interacting with a stranger at night, handing over a personal belonging, and then not being able muster the nerve to ask for my cell back, saying I have to leave and be on my way, etc.

One last little question, though this is just to satisfy my paranoia: do I have to worry about transmission of anything viral, antibacterial, infectious, so on and so forth, from her using my cell phone? She also put her arm around my back and patted me on the shoulder real quick to demonstrate what her boyfriend did before he kicked her out of the car, what about that? The entire situation just seemed pretty sketchy, I just want to ask to make sure.

Huge thank you, MeFi, for helping me to deal with this situation. I'm just a bit shaken after that weird encounter, and my habit of being paranoid about this kind of stuff, especially germs and strangers, didn't help at all -- plus, I had to walk/run a half a mile home after the whole event. Everytime a car passed I was desperately they wouldn't stop and ask about some lady.

Throwaway email: sketchyjoggingencounter@gmail.com

Thanks again.

"You should get that looked at" -- yea or nay?

greatgefilte — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 15:13:19 -0800

How far does -- or should -- a medical professional's ethical responsibility go when it comes to the health and well-being of strangers (i.e. people one might see on the street, or in line at the supermarket)? As a purely theoretical example, let's say I'm paying for my groceries and I notice that the cashier behind the till has some pretty characteristic signs of a disease that may be potentially serious, but that they may not realize they have. (For argument's sake, let's say Cushing's syndrome or melanoma.) Should I assume it's (a) none of my business, (b) something that is my business, but perhaps is not a good idea to address because I could be wrong and cause unnecessary anxiety, or they could already be seeing their doctor about it, (c) something I should definitely mention, or (d) something else?

If it's not venturing too much into the realm of ChatFilter, how would you feel if someone came up to you and said, "Excuse me, I'm a doctor/nurse/dentist, and I think you should get [x] looked at."?

How do I tell an odd stranger to back off?

vickyverky — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 10:50:28 -0800

How do I explain to an acquaintance with learning difficulties that his language and actions are unwanted? Some background: I take the same train to work every day, and have always been the sort of person who talks to strangers.

Over the past few months I've been chatting with a man I'll call "Joey," who lives in a care home/shelter near the train station. He is very shabby, but not a drinker or a drug user; in fact, he is mostly very childlike. He may have some mental disability that makes him that way, but I couldn't diagnose him based on that. He takes the same train downtown, and we usually chat about general stuff, like sports or weather or food.

Joey doesn't ask for money, and I don't give him any. I don't know what his mental health is like, but I suspect he's somewhere on the autism spectrum. He is very literal, and he will answer direct questions, but not volunteer much information beyond the answer. He is childishly friendly, although I think he's in his fifties. He is just an odd bird.

He knows I am married, and a couple of weeks ago he announced at top volume on the train, "I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE WHEN I DO IT BY MYSELF, BUT WHAT DOES SEXUAL INTERCOURSE FEEL LIKE WITH A LADY?" I told him very firmly and quietly that it was a private thing that you do in private, but that he shouldn't ask those sorts of questions in public. He said he wanted to be with a woman and know what it was like, so I sidestepped and told him he had to make friends with a lady first, and then talk to her about it.

He hadn't been inappropriate like that since, but this morning he tried to grab my hand and started shouting, "I WANT TO DO IT WITH SOMEBODY." I told him again, nicely and firmly, that he shouldn't just touch people without their permission, because they may not like it.

He seemed to get this, but I'm worried that by being friendly to him, I have given him an "out" to express his feelings to a woman, and I don't really know what to do next.

I'd appreciate any advice from mental health professionals, or others who might have some guidance in what I could say next time. I don't want to just stop talking to him, because I get the impression he leads a fairly lonely existence -- but I also don't want to have to fend him off every morning, either.

Stranger in Dire Straits

granted — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 20:47:26 -0800

I just passed a young woman walking slowly down the street, barefoot, crying, with two black eyes. About five minutes ago I was walking home from work and came up on a young woman in sweatpants and a baggy shirt, barefoot, with terribly tangled hair. She was walking so slowly and aimlessly that I first thought she was on drugs, and maybe she was, but as I passed her I saw that she had two black eyes and was crying. It looked like she'd just run away from somewhere. I stopped and asked if she was okay. She said, "yeah." I asked if she needed help or anything, and she said quietly, "Oh, no, I'll be fine..."

I went on home, feeling baffled about what to do, and called my girlfriend who also had no idea what to do. I don't think it's too late to call the police, but I also want to respect her wish to be left alone. I'm totally perplexed. What should I do?

Stranger Danger!

boreddusty — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 12:05:22 -0800

I'm looking for a electronic/dance song from probably the late 90s or early 00s that has the words "Stranger Danger" repeated in a male robot voice. Any ideas? From what I can recall, it was a deeper vocoded/"robot" voice that repeated the phrase two times, rhythmically, like so:

Strane - Ger
Dane - Ger

It's probably an older song, maybe late 90s/early 00s. Sorry that I can't give more information. Google turned up nothing except this, which is enjoyable but not what I'm looking for. Thanks!

Absurdly, what is the source of this quote?

hammerthyme — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 09:49:58 -0800

Help me find the source of this famous Albert Camus quote. More inside.. Here is the quote: "The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants, and it provides the further advantage of giving the servants of tyranny a good conscience."

I have Googled and Yahoo'd and all to know avail. What is the source of this quote? I'm using it in an essay and need the citation. That pesky MLA format.

**Bonus points if you provide the source in MLA format.

The Puzzle of the Puzzle Trade

thelongcon — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 05:04:07 -0800

What does a person mean when they say they want to 'trade puzzles'? Today I saw a sign on an empty shop front beside the bus stop. It said something along the lines of "If you have any puzzles to trade call Alex". So I called the number, a person picked up and I told him I had a puzzle to trade. He asked me how many pieces the puzzle had and I told him 5000 pieces. Things took a stranger turn when he told me he liked puzzles that had 500 to 1000 pieces but he could "only handle up to 1000 pieces or 1001 pieces" and he asked me to tell my friends to call him if they had puzzles of that size. Does anyone know if "500/1000 piece puzzle" means anything or give me some clue to what this guy was talking about? Is he mentally unwell? Is there a puzzle trading society I don't know about? Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks.

I don't want to be creepy, but...

chefscotticus — Thu, 21 Dec 2006 22:21:44 -0800

Is it totally creepy to ask out someone I who I met at a museum ticket counter yesterday? I went to my city's science museum yesterday with several of my friends and seem to hit it off, however briefly, with the girl who sold us our tickets. I left our interaction thinking she was quite cute and my friends, without prompting, mentioned she had seemed into me. She gave me her first-name due to a slight problems with our tickets (we were late with tickets calling us "seniors" as she couldn't figure out how to enter our student ID discounts, and we were instructed to blame her if anyone gave us a hard time), but that's the only info I know.

I assume I could call the museum and ask for her, but it definitely has the potential to come off stalker-esque. Do I have any options? Is there any non-creepy way to pursue this?

Hive-mind, bring me you wisdom...

rgh!

leotrotsky — Fri, 10 Nov 2006 07:17:09 -0800

What are the chairs at the dining table in this photo?

How do you explain your musical tastes to others?

evadery — Tue, 11 Jan 2005 07:36:55 -0800

Indie/ObscureMusicFilter: How do you explain to strangers or acquaintances what kinds of music you listen to? (+) I have a past that is filled with music – enough so that it fills a significant portion of my resume, and makes up a large enough portion of my life. This is all well and good with like-minded people, but I often find myself struggling to find the right words to express my musical interests to strangers and acquaintances – from job interviews to random people I meet from day to day. Sometimes I will mention a few names of bands that I perceive to be a bit more well known and get blank stares, sometimes I’ll name a few genres and get fewer blank stares, but the conversation quickly ends. Often, I ask the person what they listen to, and tailor my answers to their responses by saying less obscure bands within a similar genre, but none of these methods seem right or natural.

So, the question is, how do I straddle the fine line between rattling off a list of bands that no one knows and feeling silly myself while killing conversation, or going the other route and coming off as (unintentionally) condescending…