Late start at dating, and I'm worried that I don't/can't express attraction on dates or around people I like. Halp! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 18, 2009 - 8 answers

Where can I find, order and purchase, by this evening, a T-shirt that says "Lurker" in big white letters? (Or would that be a bad idea?) Alternatively: please help me find ways to minimize or avoid social anxiety awkwardness at the PDX meetup. [more inside]
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape on Jul 18, 2009 - 28 answers

Hi, I met a man online about a year and a half ago...we have communicated via phone for all this time though some times more frequent than others. I am a 30 something and he is a 40 something. It took us a looooooong time to met (which I finally did this past weekend) for a variety of reasons. I was nervous, we both are shy, I was not sure if he would like me physically, etc., etc. In fact, there were two trips that were previously cancelled. This weekend, finally, I went. I stayed at a hotel, and he was a good host. I was there for 3 days. We did all kinds of touristy things in his town and he treated me like a lady, yet, there was no physical contact. Actually, 2 hugs, that was it. When I arrived, and when I left. No attempted hand holding, no subtle touches, no kiss...it took so long to meet and we are not exactly close in proximity so another meeting may not be anytime soon. I have to say, I expected that he might...so I gotta wonder, does this mean that he was "just not that into me?" I am not sure how to proceed. Hope you can help me figure this out?
posted by mdn31 on May 26, 2009 - 31 answers

Please help a fella out with the next stage of his Courtship Reeducation Program: How to stay cool when you can't stay ambivalent? [more inside]
posted by EatTheWeak on May 25, 2009 - 13 answers

What steps did you take to find your partner in spite of social anxiety or severe shyness? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2009 - 33 answers

I"m still struggling with shyness and anxiety as an adult -- and I'm not for therapy. I think I can overcome, as I seem to have two personalities, it's a matter of making one of them stick. How can I just stay in the right one, and make the other one never come back (or limit how much it does) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 7, 2009 - 8 answers

Long post about my struggle with friendlessness, shyness and borderline personality disorder inside. Short form: how does a shy, sensitive, friendless guy meet kind, like-minded people and build up a social support network, and should a borderline avoid seeking a partner altogether? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 10, 2009 - 19 answers

A question for the shy/ introverted - what sort of meetup group would you really want to be a part of? As someone who helps organise such a group, how can I get people excited about it? [more inside]
posted by AuroraSky on Jan 2, 2009 - 17 answers

I've always been very shy and I have alot of the symptoms of ADD (difficulty concentrating, planning and organising, easily distracted, poor short term memory etc.) although I haven't been diagnosed. I wouldn't describe myself as socially anxious as I generally feel pretty comfortable around people. My problem is I can never think of anything to say and when I do think of something I can't articulate it properly. I have the same problem when I write things online so I don't think it's a case of my mind going blank due to anxiety. I'm wondering if the two problems could be related. Like I can't organise my thoughts properly or I can't concentrate on thinking of something to say.
posted by Andy Harwood on Nov 4, 2008 - 8 answers

I initiated our hang-out; he enthusiastically responded. The evening started with great conversation and mutual interest-- and then the energy seemed to weirdly wane as the evening went on. To be fair, we had a grueling evening. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 21, 2008 - 22 answers

This one is for the extroverts. As someone who has struggled with social anxiety/shyness to varying degrees my entire life, I'm very curious to know what your inner dialogue is like? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 19, 2008 - 32 answers

I would like to be more, er, assertive in bed, but I'm too shy. How can I get past this? Is there a good self-help book on the subject? Is there anything you've personally tried that worked for you? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 16, 2008 - 19 answers

I am a 38-year-old man who has many good qualities (I hope so at least) but two drawbacks which understandably be dealbreakers for most women - I am impotent and I have a small penis (around 4 inches on the rare occasions it is erect), so even if my impotence got treated I am not sure I could satisfy a women. On the other hand, I have heard that it's possible to have satisfactory sex life with a 3 inch penis, but have no idea how that can be. So basically I am what would be a figure of ridicule for many other men, and not exactly a strong candidate to be a boyfriend for most women either. However I know some women while still heterosexual may not want a sexual partner e.g. they may be celibate for whatever reason. And there may even be women who will overlook a sex life without penetrative sex for the right person. I have just come out of a four-year relationship which had lots of affection and companionship but not strong feelings of passion and obviously no sex, but I eventually want another relationship again and believe I have a lot of love to give the right person. How can I find her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2008 - 38 answers

Do people with under-developed social skills know that their skills need work? If so, how? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 14, 2008 - 23 answers

Help me overcome and introverted nature. [more inside]
posted by mintchip on Nov 22, 2007 - 20 answers

I use drinking to manage social anxiety. Suggestions? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 13, 2007 - 24 answers

I'm painfully shy. My mind often goes blank during social interactions. It's almost like I kind of lose myself. I'd like to find a way to fight this. [more inside]
posted by DarkForest on Jun 14, 2007 - 18 answers

Therapy or bootstraps? I have no friends beyond immediate family and online acquaintances. I can't clean house or do my home-based job because I get distracted -- by surfing the Net, even though it gets boring and I get less and less pleasure from it, by eating, by walking around the house, or by doing anything but the productive work I know I need to do to be happy. I have a very difficult time even reading a complete book, and I have always been an avid reader. And I have almost completely starved the creative part of myself. I have almost nothing to show for my life over the past twenty years. [more inside]
posted by rosemere on Apr 2, 2007 - 19 answers

Eye contact, smiling and how to be more approachable? [more inside]
posted by mintchip on Apr 1, 2007 - 15 answers

I'm a great public speaker, but painfully shy in every other situation. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2007 - 38 answers

I am shy and sometimes socially anxious person who has benefitted greatly from social activities run by a small support group where I live (Glasgow, Scotland). I found that site just by sheer good fortune after learning (a couple of years ago) to type the phrase "social anxiety" into Google. I would like to meet more people and have more of a social life and so have started a local Shyness group on Meetup.com. I would like my group and my site to appeal to those who see themselves as shy rather than socially anxious and to those who know they are shy but have never heard of social anxiety. Where would be good places online and offline to promote our group? Where are the local shy people to be found?
posted by AuroraSky on Feb 13, 2007 - 9 answers

Is there a way to tell clients I want them to communicate with me through email instead of the phone that doesn't make me sound weird? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2007 - 39 answers

Late-bloomer-filter: I was a painfully shy, geeky, withdrawn guy with almost no friends and no social life. Over the past few years (I'm 28 now), I went to therapy, got a new job, moved from my sleepy suburban town to New York, got tons of people-practice, made new friends... and then this year, it all suddenly and magically clicked. It's unreal, but instead of nights alone with my laptop, I'm out almost constantly with tons of friends, hanging out, going on dates, drinking, dancing, and generally having more fun than I ever believed was possible for me. But I need your advice before I create a monster. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2006 - 22 answers

How can I stop being passive? [more inside]
posted by mintchip on Nov 10, 2006 - 19 answers

How do I overcome camera shyness as a foreign photographer? Much [more inside]
posted by trinarian on Aug 13, 2006 - 15 answers

I'd like to help my buddy find a girlfriend. He's 26 and pretty normal, other than the fact that he's never had a girlfriend or even been on a date and he's obviously extremely shy around females. How can I help him? [more inside]
posted by b_thinky on Aug 2, 2006 - 35 answers

Looking for a brainstorm about tips for a shy, semi-square kind of guy to make friends with locals in a cool neighbourhood. [more inside]
posted by jchgf on Jul 10, 2006 - 13 answers

How can an awkward guy make friends? [more inside]
posted by i wear the cheese on Jun 9, 2006 - 26 answers

What is the evolutionary advantage of shyness, particularly in early girls' adolescence? [more inside]
posted by ykjay on Oct 23, 2005 - 32 answers

How do you start your college career over, about halfway through? [more inside]
posted by Ash3000 on Sep 24, 2005 - 22 answers

I'd like to be nicer to people. I'm generally anxious, socially awkward, and don't enunciate very well. I have trouble with spontaneous conversation and small talk, and get flustered by clumsy social encounters. As a result I've developed a reputation as aloof and unapproachable. What can I do to be a more pleasant person?
posted by anonymous on Dec 19, 2004 - 48 answers

How can you overcome pee shyness in public urnials? As in, stepping to the plate, but being unable to pee until the bathroom is empty?
posted by anonymous on Oct 29, 2004 - 28 answers

How do you overcome extreme shyness?
posted by adampsyche on Oct 15, 2004 - 38 answers

Psychology/Sociology Q [I think?] Does anyone else experience participatory inhibition when immersed in a like minded group? For example, a creative person becoming unusually shy/quiet within a team of creative people working on a [design] task? Lurkers on MeFi or other online communities might be another example. Or, the opposite: a creative person's creativity amplified [uninhibited?] in the presence of less creative people?

Is it a matter of personality/psychology? Is it confidence/self assuredness? Is it alterable? Imaginary?!

Sources for further reading and help clarifying the question appreciated.
posted by yoga on Apr 30, 2004 - 6 answers

I'm new to Minneapolis, fresh out of college, working at a job where my co-workers are much older than me, and I'm feeling a bit stumped over how to go about finding some new friends. I enjoy rock shows, bike riding, indie movies etc., but I feel shy going out all by myself. What are some good ways to find a niche and some good pals in a new town? [more inside]
posted by bonheur on Apr 7, 2004 - 14 answers