1883 posts tagged with Sex.
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Are rebound relationships (and rebound sex) really often helpful?

Looking at the end of a significant LTR that's probably going to be crushing once I get over the shock. They say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I have no experience with this. Is it really often true? (they also say that low-fat deserts and education debt are good for you). [more inside]
posted by wildblueyonder on Jul 19, 2015 - 16 answers

Why might people want more sex in my writing? Why don't I?

I'm no prude. But I don't like writing sex scenes. I've been told on multiple occasions that my writing suffers from a lack of detail when it comes to getting it on. Are you a writer? Did you face a similar issue? How did you resolve it? [more inside]
posted by angrycat on Jul 15, 2015 - 20 answers

How to talk about sexual dissatisfaction

My partner of twelve years is kind of selfish in bed, but also pretty sensitive about talking about it and hasn't taken any initiative after previous discussions. How should I approach this? Am I asking for too much? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 12, 2015 - 33 answers

My 8 year relationship lacks passion... should we move on?

I am in my early 30s and have been in a loving relationship for over 8 years. We live together and our lives are very intermingled. But the passion is gone, and I am beginning to wonder whether we'd be better apart. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2015 - 16 answers

How do I deal with this intimate relationship with my ex?

Today is the 1 year anniversary of my divorce. The ex, our child, and I just spent the weekend with his extended family, visiting them in another state. We laughed, played darts, had a great time. We have been doing many things together (volunteering, gardening, walking, watching shows, going out) over the last month or so. Today he broke up with his girlfriend, because, among other reasons, he and I spend so much time together. But there is a problem. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 8, 2015 - 32 answers

a big ole bag of confusion, a possible engagement, and me

When faced with sexual confusion, mental health struggles, and a possible engagement, what is a guy to do? [more inside]
posted by MyBeautifulThrowaway on Jul 8, 2015 - 26 answers

Name for science fiction writers ramping up sexual content?

There are numerous shorthand descriptions of various phenomena, like Rule 34 and Godwin's law and Sturgeon's law. Is there a shorthand term for the tendency of science fiction writers to ramp up sexual content over time? I know Heinlein did it over time. Niven did it in the Ringworld series. Simmons apparently did it. Now I find out that Herbert did it in the later Dune books. It seems to be a common phenomenon, but is there a specific name for it?
posted by Bugbread on Jul 5, 2015 - 19 answers

How can I communicate about intimacy issues?

I've been actively dating and having intimate encounters, but it's hard for me to address my sexual limitations and lack of experience with new partners. How to deal? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Jul 2, 2015 - 13 answers

How to meet guys while gay and trans

I am ftm trans and while I am not on hormones & have not had surgery, I still pass a decent amount of the time. Sometimes I get long, cruising looks from guys who I am sure are gay (on the street, in a mall). I have no idea how to move forward in these situations; porn is my entire frame of reference and I'm sure it's not that simple. How do guys meet guys in public? [more inside]
posted by AFABulous on Jul 2, 2015 - 6 answers

What's going on? How can we best enjoy sex?

We've been in a relationship for some time - I am 24 and she is 28 - but we only recently started having sex regularly because we used to live a distance from each other until we (finally!) moved in together. Both of us have physical challenges that seem to be making sex less enjoyable. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Jun 29, 2015 - 14 answers

boyfriend refuses to talk about sex

special snowflake details and lots of confusion within... [more inside]
posted by megan_magnolia on Jun 29, 2015 - 15 answers

I just want to hit my crotch until it starts working again

My partner just broke up with me, and I’m pretty sure it’s because I have no desire to have sex. Can I be fixed? What do I do about us? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2015 - 26 answers

First time woes...

Short version: I had sex for the first time with someone I thought I really liked, but it didn't quite go the way I expected it to and now I'm completely panicking about it. Long version inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2015 - 12 answers

Sex-positive advice books on consent for prospective college kid

Asking for a friend: looking for recommendations for a book on relationships, sex, and consent that a 27-year-old brother can give to his 18-year-old sister before she leaves for university in September. [more inside]
posted by Phire on Jun 15, 2015 - 19 answers

How do I find out my boyfriend's secret desires?

I'm afraid of boring my boyfriend in bed. He's a decade older and has had quite a few relationships in his past. I can't imagine he's as vanilla as he professes to be--I'm willing to do ANYTHING, and he wants missionary every time. Does he view me as too innocent for anything else? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Jun 15, 2015 - 29 answers

Any recommendations for a good sex therapist in the SF East Bay?

I am looking for a good sex therapist in the SF Bay Area, preferably the east bay, as that's where I live. I need someone who identifies as female and is queer friendly. Bonus points for can talk from experience about lesbian sex. Also prefer someone who is very, very smart and who can handle the idiosyncrasies of PTSD-ish reactions. Thanks for your help!
posted by anonymous on Jun 12, 2015 - 3 answers

Unprotected sex after second mirena insertion.

My doctor didn't know the answer to this, looked at me deadpan, and said "you can wait". Obviously. I'm just curious though, having immediately replaced one mirena with another, is there still the prerequisite seven day alternative contraceptive wait time?
posted by Marinara on Jun 5, 2015 - 12 answers

Hands around my throat

My partner and I have discovered that he likes to choke me sometimes during sex and I like to be choked. How do we learn to do this safely? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 5, 2015 - 13 answers

Monkey sexual politics documentary scene

A few years ago I watched a David Attenborough nature doc in which he narrated a scene that took place in an ancient, overgrown jungle temple. An alpha male monkey was surrounded by females, and a smaller, cheeky, male monkey waited nearby. A scene unfolds where a particular female waits for the right moment, calls the cheeky monkey over when the alpha isn't looking, and quickly mates with him, before he runs off into the jungle. What is this scene from? I would LOVE to find it again. Thanks.
posted by 0bvious on Jun 3, 2015 - 5 answers

My wonderful Mr. Right sucks in bed and I don't know how to tell him

I am in love with my wonderful boyfriend of 3 months. The only problem is that he doesn't seem to care that I am not having ANY orgasms with him, he's not into oral sex (the only thing that has worked for me in the past), he's not into foreplay, he barely kisses me, and he doesn't even realize that I'm unhappy because I am too wimpy and unassertive to voice a word of complaint. He's a very macho "alpha male" old-fashioned chivalrous type and I am afraid to emasculate him by giving him directions in the bedroom or telling him that I'm not satisfied. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 55 answers

How do I meet men now?

I'm a straight, overweight but otherwise generally considered attractive, woman in her early 40's. I got out of a LTR a year and a half ago. I am more than ready to date, but having major problems finding anyone interested :( [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2015 - 25 answers

booking sex-related work as a woman

How does one navigate sex work or sexological bodywork as a female client in the United States? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 3, 2015 - 3 answers

Preparing to leave marriage, how to deal with sex in meantime

I am in an abusive relationship. Not physical, but mental, emotional and verbal. I want to stress that there is no physical abuse. I am getting my ducks in a row & working on an exit strategy. It will be ugly when I leave, so I really need to have things in order when I do. Problem is - I haven't had sexual relations with my husband due to the fact that his treatment of me over the past year has repulsed me to the point that even the thought of it makes my skin crawl. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 2, 2015 - 28 answers

The Feminist sexually active man- a reading list?

I'm making up my spring and summer reading list for a new project and I need books that look at the concepts of masculinity, dating and sex (for boys/men) written from a feminist perspective. Specifically, books that tackles the following subjects: Gender and sexuality spectrums, dating and relationships (anti Game stuff), teenage boy/young men psychology, parenting feminist boys, sex education, whatever, the whole deal. Ideally, I'd like more academic texts- but give me anything you like. Even things that you think are tangentially related or reading list links that you think might fall in line. Thanks!
posted by Blisterlips on Apr 21, 2015 - 12 answers

How to find a compatible, welcoming kink environment?

After getting burned on our first try, we're trying to look at finding someplace to let our kink flag fly a bit more outside the bedroom. We could use some help/suggestions, though! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 20, 2015 - 4 answers

How might my body be thwarting my libido?

I'm female, mid-twenties, and over the past 3-4 months have lost almost all interest in sex. What might be going wrong? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 7 answers

Absolutely no sex drive what to do?

I have trouble wanting to have sex. Considering that we just got married 1 year ago this is really a problem for my relationship. Did this happen to you and how did you fix it? I am overweight with like 30 pounds extra so obviously loosing the 30 pounds would help I think I also take birth control- sprintec now- but was put on loestrin maybe that will help better. I don't know what else to do. What helped you? Thanks
posted by barexamfreak on Apr 15, 2015 - 15 answers

How do I communicate better when I'm about to, erm, get my freak on?

Exactly as it says on the tin. How do, without faking it, I be more upfront about my dating/sexual inexperience with my potential partners, and when? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 21 answers

Sex Therapy Books or other resources

My wife told me last night that she has lost interest in sex. We'd like to go see a couples sex therapist, but that's not something we can afford at the moment. Until that changes, can you recommend books or online resources that might be able to help us?
posted by moonroof on Apr 7, 2015 - 14 answers

Big difference in age/experience on a first date and if something more.

So I am a 34 male and I knowingly asked a 19-20-21-ish-year-old on a coffee date. I mentioned the age difference to her when I did so. She said, "Sure." If we go on more dates after this date and/or become physically intimate, how can I minimize the chance that she will retrospectively feel preyed upon or taken advantage of in X years? [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Apr 6, 2015 - 99 answers

Low on $$, need help deciding on doing nude photography...

I've been unemployed for some time, receiving unemployment, savings dwindling. I got a seemingly lucrative offer to model for nude, specificly fetish-art modeling pics, and need help deciding whether to take it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2015 - 20 answers

Sensual Songs

Tell me about some songs that are sensual in the way that "Take Me to Church" is, but aren't overtly, explicitly sexual the way that "Do Me!" or "Let's Get It On" are. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2015 - 60 answers

Help me want to have sex

Mid 30s heterosexual man wanting to learn how to desire and enjoy sex with a partner (not masturbation). While I have a healthy libido/masturbate regularly/etc, I have little emotional interest in having actual sex. Let me first say that I understand therapy is likely needed, but I would very much appreciate feedback beyond go see a therapist. Throwaway email: amfpost@lycos.com [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2015 - 15 answers

How can I (male) delay orgasm?

I'm a mid-40s male and my entire life I've been a hair-trigger. Not a premature orgasm, but over very fast. Google-fu came up with scams and creams, but is there any way to fix this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2015 - 14 answers

My husband will not have sex with me. Can I hear it from the men?

I have been married for 8 years. We have one son, he is 6. I would love to give him a sibling, but it is very hard to get my husband interested in sex. Apart from the procreative goal, it is very lonely and hurtful living with someone who to all intents and purposes does not find me attractive. I am slim, reasonably fit and look good for my age (late thirties-he is a few years older). He is otherwise loving and affectionate. What do you men say? Why would you go off your own wife sexually? [more inside]
posted by millionpieces on Mar 18, 2015 - 37 answers

Redirecting sexual energy

I have a healthy sexual appetite, but can't have sex right now. What do I do with all of this energy in the meantime? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2015 - 15 answers

Help me fulfill my partner's fantasy in the most creative ways possible

NSFW. My SO recently confessed a sexual fantasy of his which requires some advance brainstorming on my part, as it centers around a sexy game. Any suggestions are much appreciated! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 17, 2015 - 10 answers

Great connection, terrible sex

I asked a friend on a date recently. The date went really, really well, until we tried to have sex. Now I'm not sure if I should try again, or see if I can get out and save the friendship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2015 - 25 answers

Is my marriage so unusual?

The other night I asked my husband if he is happy and, after about 30 minutes of thoughtful consideration, he said he feels the concept of a long happy marriage is overrated and that he "isn't not happy." He is satisfied. [more inside]
posted by AnOrigamiLife on Mar 8, 2015 - 33 answers

Can tantra be therapeutic?

I’ve been seeing a therapist for a while for various reasons, including coming to terms with rape and a generally traumatic sexual history. My issues with sex have basically made any relationships impossible and at this point I’ve been single and celibate for five years. I would like to change this - or at least to feel like I have the ability to have a fulfilling sexual life if I want to. My therapist has suggested that I look into tantra and has recommended a practitioner for one-on-one work and also an organization that runs weekend courses for groups. Is this legit and/or a good idea? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2015 - 12 answers

Sex Anxiety Ruining Dating

How do I - healthy 20-something male - have a normal dating life when my libido seems to wax and wane? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 1, 2015 - 18 answers

Help me blow him away...

I'm no stranger to blow jobs, and I'm not bad at them by far, but I still want to know: what is the move that blows you/your partner's mind out of the water?
posted by megan_magnolia on Feb 26, 2015 - 18 answers

Is there a safe way to make lube smell better?

So, I ordered some lube online (Please Cream) and while it works fine, it doesn't smell the best. Is there anything I can add to it to make it smell better? [more inside]
posted by Twicketface on Feb 20, 2015 - 7 answers

Promiscuous Male Artists

Can you give me examples of male visual artists who are and were known for their gratuitous sexual behavior? Sexuality doesn't matter, and neither does period or style. I'm very curious. Thank you.
posted by CyborgHag on Feb 10, 2015 - 22 answers

How do I do casual sex?

I'm trying to loosen up, have fun, and gain more sexual experience; however, I tend to be a bit emotional. By the same token I also tend to feel tied down sometimes in serious relationships and I want to "look around" more before deciding to be in a serious relationship. Looking for ideas on how to balance that. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 10, 2015 - 20 answers

help me become a dom...

we're both total subs (sexually, it doesn't extend beyond the bedroom). he *really* wants to be dominated. how do i switch my thinking and give him the experience he wants?
posted by megan_magnolia on Feb 9, 2015 - 10 answers

Is this guy interested in dating or just hooking up?

I met this 20-something guy through a mutual friend at a party and we've been texting each other for the past week. He insisted that we should go out drinking sometimes. When I talked to the mutual friend about him, she said that he thinks I'm cute, but she also mentioned that he admitted he had slept with at least 6 girls, of which only 1 was a serious girlfriend. Is there a good odd that he's only into me for sex? How can I tell? I'm at the point in my life where I want a serious relationship, and I'm not sure if I should give this guy a chance. Thanks for your help!
posted by missybitsy on Feb 3, 2015 - 22 answers

I'm having erectile dysfunction issues.

So I'm having trouble getting it up, and I want to be able to have sex with my girlfriend. So. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 2, 2015 - 10 answers

To the Sex(t) Level

I want to introduce more kink and toys to sexy time with the Mr. I need to first get over my embarrassment of kink and sex toys so that I can then apply your lessons for how to introduce kink and sex toys to the Mr. [more inside]
posted by tafetta, darling! on Jan 28, 2015 - 18 answers

Scared of attraction.

29 year old heterosexual male. I believe that I have social anxiety when it comes to talking to women I am attracted to - perhaps more than normal. This has meant very little sex or relationships throughout my life. Practical ideas for dealing with this would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2015 - 18 answers

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