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Question about oral sex

After a divorce and some time, I'm dating again and have met a super awesome guy. We're taking things slow but there's chemistry. So I need help about an issue that could come up between us. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 12, 2014 - 24 answers

Abstinence... how does it work for adults?

How do older couples abstain from beong sexually intimate? What sort of rules, tricks, and boundaries do they use? How do they reconcile sexual intimacy in past relationships in a new abstinent relationship? How do they keep a healthy power dynamic (where one person isn't the protector of chastity)? [more inside]
posted by jander03 on Sep 3, 2014 - 23 answers

What to do about a sexless, but not loveless, marriage?

I have been dreading asking this question because it’s so painful, but I feel like I really need to get this sorted out so I can move on with my life. So here it is: My husband and I haven’t had sex in over a year, probably inching closer to two years by now and I wonder if I’m just fooling myself/prolonging the inevitable in staying married to him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2014 - 31 answers

Saltpeter?

I am a woman in my late 30s embarking upon an LDR. We plan to be together about half the time. After about 2 weeks of separation, I find myself going out of my head with sexual frustration. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 31, 2014 - 3 answers

Is he a narcissist, or just very self-centred?

I've been dating a guy (30) for half a year, and though I am blinded by love, I'm starting to see signs that he could be narcissistic, but am not sure. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 18, 2014 - 44 answers

How do I resolve a neighbor/noise issue?

My newish neighbors keep complaining about the level of noise coming from my apartment, but I'm not being loud. How do I handle this? Sensitive details in the explanation. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2014 - 24 answers

Recommend some body paint for the fun times?

Partner and I are interested in painting each other's bodies as a prelude to Other Stuff. Getting non-crappy body paint has turned out to be a surprisingly hard thing, though. Everything we've ordered from Amazon has been really unsexily crappy, and often nasty-smelling. Does anyone have a specific recommendation? Should we just go to an art store and buy some acrylic, and then take a shower afterwards?
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2014 - 8 answers

How do i deal with my boyfriends distance and communication issues?

My boyfriend cancels so often on our dates, and we haven't had sex even though we have been together for half a year, which makes me think he could have a sexual problem or is afraid of getting close to me. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 10, 2014 - 59 answers

I'm never horny.

Early twenties female, healthy, reasonably happy, who simply doesn't have any sex drive. What am I doing wrong? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 9, 2014 - 21 answers

I'm getting married and would like to have intercourse

I'm getting married in a week, after dating for 9 years. My fiancé and I have a good sex life, but we've never had penetrative sex. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 8, 2014 - 46 answers

I Want You to Want Me

Is this some sort of mid-life crisis, a hormone thing, or both? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 1, 2014 - 12 answers

How to have an orgasm?

I'm female, twenty-six, haven't orgasmed, and want to. Suggestions? (NSFW.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 30, 2014 - 12 answers

How can I both cure my depression and get my sex drive back?

I used to like all kinds of funky sex. Since depression came into my life a few years ago, I've been far, far less sexual. In the last few months, I can't even find the will to masturbate let alone allow my beloved to penetrate me or otherwise enjoy sexual activity with me. I don't want to be depressed anymore, and I also want to get back to embodying the sexual being I used to be. How? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2014 - 10 answers

Tell me again why teenagers shouldn't be having sex.

My 15-yr old daughter recently told me she has been having sex with her boyfriend of 10 months (also 15 y.o.) [more inside]
posted by cherrybounce on Jul 28, 2014 - 78 answers

How to break it off with someone you've seen, uh, once

Let's say you go on a date with someone. The date goes well, you go back to their place. Things happen...SEX things. You realize afterward that it may have been a mistake. Yeah, definitely a mistake. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 26, 2014 - 14 answers

Girth & vagina pain.

Repeatedly bleeding after penetrative sex, yes we use so much lube, any advice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 17, 2014 - 25 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

Sensual, not sexual

In a new friendship/relationship. Help us explore our sensual sides without sex! Possibly mild NSFW details inside. [more inside]
posted by Beaker's stripey socks on Jul 10, 2014 - 24 answers

Gardasil Pros vs. Cons

How dangerous is Gardasil? What is your personal experience with taking it? I just heard all the horrible stories and in so scared because I just received it today. I see nothing good reviewed about it. [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jun 27, 2014 - 33 answers

True Love & Sexuality - Middle School version

Asking for a friend - her 12 year old son is "in love" with a 12 year old girl. Hormones are active and kids are definitely interested in doing more than just holding hands. My friend is struggling to figure out reasonable rules on dating behavior, especially since in her culture, children this young simple don't date and yet here in sunny California the rules seem to be different. Complications inside. [more inside]
posted by metahawk on Jun 22, 2014 - 36 answers

What's most the most intense thing inside a French letter?

What's the best lubricant to go inside a condom to increase sensation for a man? Difficulty level: SSRI side-effects. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2014 - 2 answers

Spontaneous Female Arousal

I'm curious to know what's going on with my body. I'm enjoying very high sex drive the last 6 months, ever since my 7th month of pregnancy. I thought it was a third trimester thing, but I wanted my husband 5 days postpartum. So what's going on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 13, 2014 - 6 answers

Where do the butterflies go?

Core attraction: does it go away? Looking to hear from people who have been in a relationship for 15+ years. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2014 - 16 answers

I Love My Dog, But Oh! You Wife!

How can I return the spontaneity to my sex life now that I have to share the bed with a blanket-hogging dog? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2014 - 28 answers

International dating- help me stay safe in worst case scenario

I am currently involved in a sexual/dating/subculture where international meetings are normal. Most recently, men have met me in my city and then we have planned a trip later.... And I have had a fab time with these men- they have been great fun! I am okay with meeting men for dinner in Oslo, London or Stockholm..... I have no problem hopping on a plane and meeting a man, spending a few days with him and nipping back home... but I cannot figure out how to make sure that my flight home is paid for- if something doesn't work out. Is there any way to have your flights and hotel paid for, in a way that the host can not just cancel on you if you refuse to have sex with them?
posted by misspony on Jun 4, 2014 - 27 answers

How to deal with sexual jealousy in a relationship?

My boyfriend sometimes expresses sexual attraction to other girls when he's with me and I'm wondering if a) his actions are reasonable, b) my reaction to this is reasonable or c) if there are underlying issues behind this that need to be addressed. [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Jun 2, 2014 - 72 answers

Don't try so hard, but don't NOT try either!

I have trouble achieving orgasm, but it doesn't really bother me. However, apparently it bothers other people a whole lot. How can I explain all this in a way that will make sense to others? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 28, 2014 - 11 answers

How to start an (awkward) conversation about my IUD

I had an IUD (Mirena) inserted about a month ago. I recently met someone new (yay!), he's great (yay!), and it seems that sexytimes are soon to be had (yay!). I think I need to talk with him about my IUD, though, and I don't know how. [more inside]
posted by singlesock on May 20, 2014 - 18 answers

Love him, leave him?

Please help me sort out my long-term thinking about my very good but maybe not perfect relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2014 - 23 answers

How do I have an honest, ethical fling with a friend-of-a-friend?

I have never had a legitimate fling before. Lately I've been showing a lot more potential for it. I was kind of a late bloomer- I skipped the crazy college years because I was engaged to one guy during all of that (and was also a very different, more prudish and sheltered person at the time)- and then I moved around a lot and worked a lot and only dated a few other people. I don’t know what I’m doing. This is all new to me. I’ve made out with random guys in bars a couple of times and flirted with the idea, but that’s as far as it’s gone. Stranger sex has never really appealed to me- I always thought that a friend-of-a-friend would be perfect for a fling. But maybe not if it’s too close to home. So, how do I do this? Is there a way to have an ethical and honest fling and not hurt anyone’s feelings and still be friends with my friends? [more inside]
posted by quincunx on May 13, 2014 - 56 answers

Can't stay hard with a condom, help?

I'm a straight male without much sexual experience. I've been seeing a new girl recently and things have gotten sexual. We have good chemistry in and out of bed, are comfortable around each other and attracted to each other's bodies. But I've encountered a problem: when I try to penetrate her with a condom, I can't maintain an erection. Without a condom I don't have this problem, but condomless sex is not a good option. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2014 - 38 answers

awkward sex question

I am interested in having sex with an older woman (late 60's). I am a younger male (50's) and my partner is obviously older, and hasn't had intercourse in a long time (many years). What should I expect in terms of the biology of things? I guess these are my questions: -will sex be the same as I remember it being with women my own age? -Will nature take care of the lubrication or should I be prepared with something else? -is an orgasm a realistic possibility? -Obviously we'll figure a lot of this out as we go, but I want to be sensitive to the possibility of things not working. -Any other thoughts, tips or experience? I want it to be enjoyable for her (me too of course) Thanks all!
posted by Blackcow167 on May 12, 2014 - 12 answers

How to temper arousal?

Gentlemen of Metafilter: When you're hooking up, how do you temper the physical manifestation of your sexual arousal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2014 - 26 answers

Is it the start or the end of the period?

My wife and I have a question about Skyla IUD inserstions and sex. [more inside]
posted by Uncle on May 10, 2014 - 3 answers

When no sex feels like I am not desirable

I need help. I am seeking therapy for this issue, but it will take about six weeks before I can get in. My partner (m 36) and I (f 34) are not having sex. It has been about four months. He is dealing with depression and anxiety issues and is on medication for this. This has been pretty hard for me since we greatly enjoyed such an active sex life prior to this. He attributes our sexual issues to his diagnosis and medication. In my head I believe what he tells me, but this is triggering past issues for me that are getting in the way of me believing what he says. The fact that he masturbates at least once a day is hard for me to handle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2014 - 30 answers

Not the front porch kind...

A friend is considering dipping her toes into her local swinger scene. Help me offer non-judgmental help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2014 - 12 answers

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner?

How do I know if I am in love "enough" with my partner? Snowflakery to follow [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2014 - 26 answers

afraid to confront husband about sex life

My husband (I'm female) and I have been going through a really tough time (infertility at a young age), and we've been working together to reframe our lives together and as a couple. We've been discussing what's working and what's not. He seems very dedicated to building a future together, despite his lack of follow through on issues we talked about, including sex life. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 28, 2014 - 23 answers

Good Nevada brothel for couples?

I'm a straight man, wife is bi. Married over a decade, but have had some fun group sex experiences together in the past. However sexy single females ("unicorns") are hard to come by so we're looking at a Vegas trip for some naughty fun. Need information. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 18, 2014 - 1 answer

Am I uptight, or is he being a perv?

I'm a woman in my mid 40's, and my husband is in his early 50's. We've been married over 20 years, have 3 great kids and a relatively good life. But our sex life has taken a weird turn here lately (at least for me). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 39 answers

My sex drive plummeted after my BF moved in. WTF?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1.5 years, and he recently moved into my duplex with me. Now that we're living together, I just don't feel sexy or like I'm wanting sexytimes. :( It's very distressing, and I'm not sure what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 5, 2014 - 8 answers

Please give me birth control advice - AFTER condoms.

My partner and I have decided to use two layers of birth control. Her doctor said it was a good idea, because condoms have a small failure rate even when used perfectly. However, she doesn't want her parents to know (she's 20) and is on their health insurance, and she has a family friend that works at planned parenthood. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 3, 2014 - 35 answers

Feels like I'm 15 again

I'm in my early thirties, bisexual/queer and just ended a decade-long relationship with a cisgendered man. I'm starting to date women but haven't had sex with a woman in a decade and didn't have a lot of experience even then. I have always been a visible part of the LGBT community and most people assume I'm a lesbian, which makes people think I have more sexual experience with women than I do. I'm basically nervous about not knowing what to do anymore and being bad in bed. Questions are as follows: Should I disclose this lack of recent experience to the women I'm starting to casually date and have sex with? How can I stop being so nervous, which I know won't help? And: what does real-life lesbian safer sex look like when you're an adult and not a 23 year old with no sense of risk?
posted by anonymous on Apr 2, 2014 - 8 answers

The Thin Line Between Preference and Prejudice

I think I don't like performing oral sex on my girlfriend anymore because she's gained a bit of weight. What do I do here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2014 - 45 answers

How to avoid embarrassment in bed?

I have a history of sexual performance issues. Part of these stem from the inability to become as erect as I would need to be to perform the function unless I am extremely attracted to the other person. This has led to limited intercourse experience. [more inside]
posted by JJ987E on Mar 26, 2014 - 29 answers

Multiple orgasms for men, experience?

I've read The Multi-Orgasmic Man. I find Eastern, energy-based philosophy hard to grasp, because moving energy throughout the body is very much experiential and intangible. It's not not like learning physical movements (sports, martial arts, etc.) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 25, 2014 - 8 answers

ain't 2 proud 2 beg

I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. We are both mid-thirties; have discussed marriage and kids and are on the same page;we live together; and things are great. Except for one thing - I initiate sex most of the time and want it more. I know the next part is not right, but, me initiating things all of the time makes me feel bad. I know it is a stereotype to expect men to be wanting to have sex more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2014 - 9 answers

Sex Visions (not an R&B album)

I'm looking for information about visions or visuals experienced during sex. Not anecdotes, but 1. rigorous scientific work that contextualizes who gets them and why, and 2. artists, writers, or poets who have used them as inspiration in any way. [more inside]
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur on Mar 21, 2014 - 6 answers

I need the dirty bits from popular books

I'm starting a book club among my friends where we just read the dirty bits from popular books to each other. They don't even have to be popular books - just books that I can actually find easily. And it's not exactly a book club. More like a reading-to-each-other club. Anyway, can you remember and recommend any notably hot sex scenes from books you might have read? [more inside]
posted by Sully on Mar 19, 2014 - 61 answers

Libido Rollercoasters Going In Different Directions...

After years of his turning me down sexually and not wanting to touch me as I enjoy, now he's interested... and I’m not. Is there anything we can do? [NSFW] [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story on Mar 14, 2014 - 18 answers

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