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How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents.

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm a miser, he's a spendthrift - how do we compromise and coexist?

So, I'm with this guy, and we hope to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm a Millennial saver* and he's a Gen X spender. He has a middle class income (around 40k), and I make half of that. When it comes to our arguments, it may also be of relevance that he's a human and I'm more of a Vulcan. How do we reconcile our opposing viewpoints about finances, trust, and gadgets? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 60 answers

recommend films about weird relationships

What are some good movies that straddle the line between character studies and psychological thrillers?
posted by timsneezed on Apr 10, 2013 - 65 answers

how do you get over your first "lover"

He was my first everything, and I can't get over him even months later. [more inside]
posted by wholecornandsalt on Apr 10, 2013 - 27 answers

Need perspective on inter-family conflict

My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2013 - 15 answers

Looking for advice on how to remain friends with ex

What might I do or not do in order to help us move from relationship to friendship? [more inside]
posted by fishingforthewhale on Apr 8, 2013 - 12 answers

Could you tell me how to succeed in being unfaithful?

Please tell me stories about cheating or being cheated on. Or, pretend to be a sociopath for a few minutes, and give advice on how to successfully cheat and get away with it. [more inside]
posted by Bathtub Bobsled on Apr 7, 2013 - 55 answers

Do you like me or what?

I kinda think the dude likes me but I'm not sure and I'm tired of waiting to find out [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Apr 7, 2013 - 17 answers

Personality Problem

How can a person be more aware of their personality flaws? [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Apr 6, 2013 - 28 answers

What are examples and definition of boyish behavior in an adult male?

I've recently been told that I act boyish by several people and I do not entirely understand what this means nor can anyone who has said this actually explain it well (versus being "a man"). I'm an adult male, and understand that this kind of behavior may be an obstacle to dating women and finding a girlfriend. I tend to joke around a lot (especially with women), but a lot of people joke around, so it's difficult for me to equate joking around with boyishness. I also laugh a lot. One female friend said that I'm like "a little boy" and that she felt comfortable talking to me(otherwise she has almost no other male friends). I have a job, my own place to live, no roommates, a car. All adult, responsible things so I can't see these comments about being boyish related to lacking responsibility. Does anyone have any specific examples of behaviors, ways of interacting, or conversations that they consider to be boyish? Thanks for your help
posted by itshaytime on Apr 5, 2013 - 37 answers

Low sex drive and ED with new girlfriend

I dated a girl for 9 years, and we broke up last year. I now have a new girlfriend and we are both very much in love. However, my libido has all but disappeared and we are unable to have sex without great difficulty. I need advice on why this has happened and how I can address it. Thank you. [more inside]
posted by lichen on Apr 3, 2013 - 20 answers

I want to help and I really mean it!

Help me write a note to my neighbor, offering help if needed... [more inside]
posted by HopperFan on Apr 2, 2013 - 18 answers

Putting a Humpty-Dumpty marriage together again.

My wife and I separated six months ago. Now, after marriage and individual counselling, it looks like we might be ready to give things another shot. How do we go about re-integrating our lives whilst there are still small alarm bells ringing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Help settle a debate about a friend who ALWAYS flakes.

Friend Ay always looks forward to meeting Friend Bee. But Friend Bee changes her plans at the last minute at least 25% of the time. THIS time, however, Friend Ay was leaving to a different city to be with his ill grandfather. It may be a 4 day trip if the grandfather got better, and an unknown length of time had he passed away. Ay/Bee made a plan to meet up the night before Ay's flight. Bee didn't inform Ay that she was canceling the plan. They did not meet. Ay was livid. This had happened far too frequently, and the uncertainty of the duration of the trip made it all the worse. Bee profusely apologized; she realized the least she could have done is call and tell him. Upon Ay's return, he met up with some other friends and saved up some time for Bee to meet him afterward. But Bee had already made tentative plans with someone else, a coworker she sees every day. Ay INSISTED that Bee cancel her plans with Cee; they'll see each other again tomorrow at work anyway and can resume their fun on any other night. Bee responded by saying that she can't cancel fixed plans with someone else, even though that was exactly what she had done to Ay earlier in the week. Bee canceled on Ay, but would not cancel on Cee, even though Ay really wanted to talk. [more inside]
posted by smersh on Apr 1, 2013 - 54 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Your problems ruined our relationship. Here, read this.

I recently broke up with my long-term girlfriend because of her refusal to seek treatment for alcohol abuse, and, in my opinion, the maladaptive behavior that causes it. She (now) says that she wants to work on these issues for herself and her future, but I have my reservations (read: she didn't work on any of these issues in our relationship, so I doubt she's going to work on them now). Is it appropriate to send her links that describe these disorders, symptoms and treatment options? I realize that this may result in resentment, utter hatred, and most likely her resorting to the same old tendencies (maybe even worse???), but I do still care for her and want her to be the best person she can be.
posted by mrrisotto on Apr 1, 2013 - 22 answers

Am I overreacting or is my partner?

Partner frequently gets angry when we go out. This upsets me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 26 answers

Foolish Comment Ruins Chance With Amazing Woman

I recently met an amazing, smart woman. On our third date, I made a stupid comment that offended her. I made it worse by trying to cover myself. I really want to salvage this situation and see this woman again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2013 - 55 answers

Therapeutic Faith.

Do you have faith in your therapist's sense of certainty? [more inside]
posted by mild deer on Mar 31, 2013 - 21 answers

How to avoid communication with the girl before the first date?

I met a girl at a bar and I want to know how to avoid chatting with her all week before our first date. [more inside]
posted by Atlantic on Mar 31, 2013 - 25 answers

I'm safe and happy and loved! Why is that so hard?

I'm finally in a safe place for the first time since my early childhood. And I feel like I'm… emotionally detoxing? Please help me understand what's going on. [more inside]
posted by blue_and_bronze on Mar 30, 2013 - 23 answers

Leave nothing behind

When you're dating, when (if?) do you start leaving personal items behind? [more inside]
posted by ashworth on Mar 28, 2013 - 37 answers

My ex's new significant other is following me around on social media

My ex's new significant other is following me around on social media. Or at least it feels that way. [more inside]
posted by erstwhile ungulate on Mar 27, 2013 - 42 answers

Help me figure out what to do about my depressed boyfriend please

My once caring, kind, thoughtful bf of six months has fallen into a deep depressive state a month ago and has ceased most contacts with me three weeks ago- the exception being a phone call for my birthday- without outwardly breaking up with me; should I stay, should I go, should I wait and give him space, or wait and try and contact him myself? Do we have a future together according to you? Any thoughts/input is welcome, thank you very much! [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Mar 27, 2013 - 18 answers

Help! I'm living in a "Family Guy" episode.

My boyfriend of a little more than a year is a totally. great. guy. With one exception: he thinks that being funny means saying whatever overtly racist, homophobic or sexist joke he can think of as a response to many situations. I always stop and tell him it's not cool, then he says, "what? I'm just kidding." Now, I worry he might actually be pretty sexist. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 181 answers

Will love tear us apart?

I'm experiencing a very tumultuous time in my relationship with my partner of 4 years. I don't know what part of our relationship problems are due to his ADHD, general depression on both our parts or incompatibility. Where can I go from here? What questions can I ask myself and him to get a clearer idea of the origin of our problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 4 answers

How Does a New Couple Start Having Regular Money Talks?

My main squeeze is moving in! Our finances are starting to be a little more comingled and I'm looking for the best, healthiest way to start having a regular "money check-in" as part of our new life together. He is on board with this. How do we structure the conversation? Is there a sample agenda? Do we make it a date night? Help, please. [more inside]
posted by amoeba on Mar 26, 2013 - 12 answers

How do I find myself after a 9 year relationship?

My fiance and I have recently parted ways after a near 9 year relationship and it seems as though I've forgotten how to function. [more inside]
posted by KnittingBer on Mar 26, 2013 - 7 answers

Can no longer bang head against financial wall.

So... There are plenty of help-me-with-my-finances questions on MeFi, but this is more of a relationship question... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 37 answers

Am I just not couple material?

I can't tell if I’m overreacting/over analyzing because I've been single for so long. Do I just need time to adjust to being a couple? Should I just calm down and stick it out for awhile? [more inside]
posted by g33kygal on Mar 25, 2013 - 28 answers

Boyfriend has never had a long-term relationship and other concerns.

Is it unusual for a 28-year-old to have never had a relationship last past 3 months? [more inside]
posted by hanamachi82 on Mar 24, 2013 - 54 answers

I'm so glad all our friends are happy; let's break up

BreakupFilter: I've been dating a woman for about five months now, and whilst she's lovely I'm starting to think that maybe I've been hit by a limerence bomb... As it starts to fade, is it time for me to walk away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2013 - 17 answers

Do something sweet for a single mom who has a busy, stressful life

What sweet or thoughtful things could I do for a single mom that I'm dating? [more inside]
posted by mtphoto on Mar 21, 2013 - 12 answers

He texts me everyday but has never asked me out

I never initiate the texts except for a couple of times, but always reply and am nice and friendly. He texts me about anything, and usually sends funny images. He also hangs out with me randomly, for example yesterday I was giving out food for an event and he came without his friends to be with me. But he has made no moves other than that, as in no touching or complimenting me, but maybe he is not very good at flirting. I have had bad experiences when telling a guy first that I am interested. I don't like playing games, but I am wondering if I should be more challenging and mysterious? Does it seem like he is interested? He's been texting me for a month now. Thanks!
posted by lovisa91 on Mar 21, 2013 - 38 answers

stop me from putting her on a pedestal

I've realized that I put my ex-girlfriend on a pedestal. I didn't realize it because I thought it was best to think of someone before yourself, to think of their needs/wants first, to see the good in them, negotiate on the things that don't work but as i read more about this pedestal, I'm certain i do this and getting confused on where/how to draw lines. I'm not sure how to approach this issue in a healthy way. And now that she is on that pedestal...how do i get her off or avoid this with the next girl. I'm looking for real strategies, interventions and hacks that i can practice. Specific examples are also very helpful (like he said this, I said that). Cds, books, videos that can change my perception also helpful. thanks.
posted by PeaPod on Mar 19, 2013 - 6 answers

Feeling rejected and awful

I had few men reject me lately and it has really done a number on my self-esteem. I don't really know how it works for other people, but I can never seem to get even close to who I want. [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Mar 17, 2013 - 47 answers

Help me respond constructively to my brother!

My older brother (in his 50s) posted something on FB regarding the Steubenville rape case, which was: [more inside]
posted by HopperFan on Mar 17, 2013 - 52 answers

He keeps hanging out with me as friends but is in an open relationship.

I like a PhD student at university, who sat next to me a couple months ago in a cafe on campus and started talking to me. He is in an open relationship, so although he is free to be with girls, I told him I don't want to hook up with him. He said he still wants to be friends, but has been texting me everyday since. I enjoy his company, and want to be his friend but I don't know if this amount of communication is wrong for his 'girlfriend', and if he is interested in me. [more inside]
posted by lovisa91 on Mar 13, 2013 - 34 answers

LDR or not?

5yr relationship relationship about to embark on potential 2 years or longer LDR [more inside]
posted by Trinergy on Mar 13, 2013 - 22 answers

Relationship fallout. Its like high school all over again.

Help a gal get some perspective on a relationship that ended as quickly as it began. Things were going very well, I thought we'd spend V'day together, then was disappointed when he was very wishy-washy with plans. It ended up in a huge, unnecessary fight. I'm still having lots of trouble getting past the fallout. Where do I go from here? Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by couchtater on Mar 12, 2013 - 25 answers

How to recover from ex-boyfriend who withheld sex?

Most recent relationship did a number on my self-confidence. Help me figure out how to regain what was lost. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2013 - 17 answers

A well-balanced relationship is making me feel insecure

I have a ten year history of extremely intense borderline co-dependent relationships that consume my life. Two years ago I finally ended the cycle and started working on myself, now I'm trying to have healthy relationships, but it's not working as well as I anticipated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2013 - 11 answers

I acted needy- can I do anything to rectify this?

Been dating a guy for 4 months and I acted needy, is there anyway I can resolve this. I don't want to lose him but fear it may be a little late now! [more inside]
posted by artystar on Mar 11, 2013 - 38 answers

Trying to find balance in LTR.

We have been dating for a year now and spend pretty much every available moment together. But it's stressing me out, I can't see my friends, and my free time after work and wekends, which used to contain a healthy quantity of "me" time, get swallowed up by "us". How can I find a balance without hurting his feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2013 - 21 answers

How much is too much when you're empathizing with a narcissist?

My BFF and former FWB-type is most likely a narcissist (*My untrained diagnosis). With every argument, fight, or disagreement, I find myself resolving things on their terms, usually because I can empathize with their emotional state and/or their "situation." So I find the logic in their position, however skewed, and I stop being upset. Probably unhealthy? To a point? ... Where's the line? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2013 - 25 answers

Why do I keep falling for men who seem to care for me when they don't?

This has been happening for a few years now, where I fall for somebody emotionally unavailable, or already in a relationship and they do not tell me until much later. It has happened every single time with men that show interest in me and it is very upsetting as it makes me feel worthless or only second best. I feel like going on a break from men, even though it would technically be a break from nothing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2013 - 19 answers

Dating when you already have feelings you never intend to act on?

I have feelings for another woman that I have no intention of ever acting on, and my current relationship seems doomed because of it. Help. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Mar 8, 2013 - 78 answers

*Arabic speakers*: Brokenhearted girl needs your translation ability

Here is the photo with the Arabic message: LINK What does this say in English? I think the girl might represent me. She looks brokenhearted, too. Thank you so much for your help!
posted by thatgirl1985 on Mar 8, 2013 - 3 answers

How do I make this odd romantic getaway a success?

We met when I was there. We dated when I was there. Now he's coming here. And I'm freaking out (a shmear). [more inside]
posted by airguitar2 on Mar 7, 2013 - 8 answers

Fairness and compensation

I feel that since older, attractive, successful guys get so much love already, I shouldn't like them. It just feels unfair, so much so that I try to deny my feelings and COMPENSATE by liking the opposite. This has terrible results. How do I stop thinking like this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2013 - 19 answers

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