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Learning how to feel others' feelings

How do I become more empathetic? [more inside]
posted by bumpjump on May 7, 2013 - 11 answers

At least I have my cat?

I'm generally happy with where I am, but lately I've been feeling more and more envy when I see couples and it's getting distracting... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2013 - 13 answers

Losing relationship chances due to others' interference - help?

I was recently in the situation where I met a possible new love interest but, due to interference by a mutual social group, the relationship never had a chance to begin. How common is this and how can I protect myself? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 3, 2013 - 26 answers

Why is my heart so bent out of shape?

I went on two dates with a guy and we clicked so hard. I ended it because he's recently separated from his wife and I'm moving out of state. WHY do I feel so torn up? It's only been two dates! [more inside]
posted by pintapicasso on May 3, 2013 - 15 answers

I have no idea how to get past the honeymoon period. It's killing me.

I have a history of romantic involvements that usually never get past three or four months (with a single exception that went on for 3.5 years). This didn't used to bother me so much, but it's now starting to make me ridiculously sad. I'm 30. How can I learn to hold someone's interest in me and/or choose better? Sorry for the book below, and thanks for any suggestions. [more inside]
posted by oogenesis on May 2, 2013 - 34 answers

Still miss my ex and struggling to move on.

I’m a 31 year-old female. About 9 months ago, a 2-year relationship ended. I’m still struggling a lot with it. How abnormal is this, and what else can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2013 - 18 answers

What do I do with these very, very strong feelings?

I just had a weekend (non-adulterous) affair with someone who lives halfway across the country. It went well, incredibly well, so well, and now she has gone back home and I am experiencing a massive onslaught of feelings and I am not sure how to proceed and maintain my sanity. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Apr 30, 2013 - 13 answers

Completely clueless (Sigh.)

What does the process of finding a life partner look like? [more inside]
posted by strelitzia on Apr 30, 2013 - 45 answers

Help me tell my BFF to shut up, in the nicest of ways.

My best friend is dating a new guy and is currently in the "floating in the clouds" stage. He's all that she talks about, texts me about, emails me about, mentions, quotes, you name it. I'm happy for her, but I am quickly reaching "who cares" stage. She does this with everyone she dates, but this guy might become permanent, so I'm not brushing it off as "just wait until this passes". How can I politely tell her that we need to have conversations about OTHER THINGS? She can be very sensitive, and I don't want her to feel that I am not interested in the relationship or not happy for her. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by ElectricGoat on Apr 28, 2013 - 26 answers

Healthy ways of working with financial imbalances in relationships?

I grew up in a lower-middle-class family. Through a combination of hard work, opportunity and luck, I find myself in my 30's with a very decent net worth. It's enough to allow me to feel very secure about retirement, job/career changes, health issues, supporting family, etc. and this security is probably the most important aspect of money to me. For me, money means security, safety, freedom. I maintain a very middle-class lifestyle, continue to work full-time and save at a reasonable rate. I've started to realize how much this factors into my thinking about long term relationships, especially marriage (and its attendant family joining) and financial co-mingling, and am looking for some perspectives on positive ways of managing these kinds of issues. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2013 - 21 answers

So very jealous.

How do I deal with this jealousy? [more inside]
posted by Trexsock on Apr 26, 2013 - 13 answers

Twenty First Century Courting

I took a 6 month break from dating to do some soul searching and reevaluate my skewed relationships with men. Along the way, I met some awesome dudes, each of whom I'd be interested in dating. I've developed solid friendships and strong feelings with each of them. Now my self-imposed love sabbatical is over and I'm not sure how to transition smoothly back into the dating world [more inside]
posted by calcetina on Apr 26, 2013 - 11 answers

What is OkCupid like for men?

I'm interested in the male experience when it comes to this popular dating site. [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Apr 26, 2013 - 36 answers

I love my girlfriend, but cannot shake this feeling.

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and am very much in love. She is bipolar and it is affecting my emotional and mental health. I cannot shake these feelings of leaving her but I know love is hard to come by. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2013 - 25 answers

What advice would you give me if there might still be a chance?

I’ve had a small crush on a co worker that later turned into a pretty big one. It’s gotten to the point where I couldn’t get her off my mind and it was hard focusing on school work. I’m 25 and haven’t had much dating experience. In my younger years, middle school throughout high school, I had self esteem issues with being overweight and then with acne. I’ve come here seeking advice from a wide verity of experiences of both genders. I found a similar case to mine on here and found the answers very useful so I hope to get great advice from this community. I apologize in advance for a long winded background story but I wanted to make sure I get enough information out to aid you guys. [more inside]
posted by uberkrn on Apr 15, 2013 - 21 answers

I just found out my ex got married, I'm hurt, why do I feel down?

Over the past 5 months I've posted three questions here on how to get over my ex. I've tried all the advice people have given on here and it has helped. Recently I thought I was almost over things and in a good enough place to work on being genuinely friends. Then she tells me she just got married. I don't know if I'm more shocked that she got married to someone in less than 5 months or just that she's just married. Either way, she doesn't want to communicate anymore, which I can respect. So is the reason I'm feeling down is because I feel rejected again? I know this should conclude things for me but I still think about it and I know I shouldn't. Why can't I just leave it and move on?
posted by kser333 on Apr 14, 2013 - 26 answers

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents.

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm a miser, he's a spendthrift - how do we compromise and coexist?

So, I'm with this guy, and we hope to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm a Millennial saver* and he's a Gen X spender. He has a middle class income (around 40k), and I make half of that. When it comes to our arguments, it may also be of relevance that he's a human and I'm more of a Vulcan. How do we reconcile our opposing viewpoints about finances, trust, and gadgets? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 60 answers

recommend films about weird relationships

What are some good movies that straddle the line between character studies and psychological thrillers?
posted by timsneezed on Apr 10, 2013 - 65 answers

how do you get over your first "lover"

He was my first everything, and I can't get over him even months later. [more inside]
posted by wholecornandsalt on Apr 10, 2013 - 27 answers

Need perspective on inter-family conflict

My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2013 - 15 answers

Looking for advice on how to remain friends with ex

What might I do or not do in order to help us move from relationship to friendship? [more inside]
posted by fishingforthewhale on Apr 8, 2013 - 12 answers

Could you tell me how to succeed in being unfaithful?

Please tell me stories about cheating or being cheated on. Or, pretend to be a sociopath for a few minutes, and give advice on how to successfully cheat and get away with it. [more inside]
posted by Bathtub Bobsled on Apr 7, 2013 - 55 answers

Do you like me or what?

I kinda think the dude likes me but I'm not sure and I'm tired of waiting to find out [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Apr 7, 2013 - 17 answers

Personality Problem

How can a person be more aware of their personality flaws? [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Apr 6, 2013 - 28 answers

What are examples and definition of boyish behavior in an adult male?

I've recently been told that I act boyish by several people and I do not entirely understand what this means nor can anyone who has said this actually explain it well (versus being "a man"). I'm an adult male, and understand that this kind of behavior may be an obstacle to dating women and finding a girlfriend. I tend to joke around a lot (especially with women), but a lot of people joke around, so it's difficult for me to equate joking around with boyishness. I also laugh a lot. One female friend said that I'm like "a little boy" and that she felt comfortable talking to me(otherwise she has almost no other male friends). I have a job, my own place to live, no roommates, a car. All adult, responsible things so I can't see these comments about being boyish related to lacking responsibility. Does anyone have any specific examples of behaviors, ways of interacting, or conversations that they consider to be boyish? Thanks for your help
posted by itshaytime on Apr 5, 2013 - 37 answers

Low sex drive and ED with new girlfriend

I dated a girl for 9 years, and we broke up last year. I now have a new girlfriend and we are both very much in love. However, my libido has all but disappeared and we are unable to have sex without great difficulty. I need advice on why this has happened and how I can address it. Thank you. [more inside]
posted by lichen on Apr 3, 2013 - 20 answers

I want to help and I really mean it!

Help me write a note to my neighbor, offering help if needed... [more inside]
posted by HopperFan on Apr 2, 2013 - 18 answers

Putting a Humpty-Dumpty marriage together again.

My wife and I separated six months ago. Now, after marriage and individual counselling, it looks like we might be ready to give things another shot. How do we go about re-integrating our lives whilst there are still small alarm bells ringing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Help settle a debate about a friend who ALWAYS flakes.

Friend Ay always looks forward to meeting Friend Bee. But Friend Bee changes her plans at the last minute at least 25% of the time. THIS time, however, Friend Ay was leaving to a different city to be with his ill grandfather. It may be a 4 day trip if the grandfather got better, and an unknown length of time had he passed away. Ay/Bee made a plan to meet up the night before Ay's flight. Bee didn't inform Ay that she was canceling the plan. They did not meet. Ay was livid. This had happened far too frequently, and the uncertainty of the duration of the trip made it all the worse. Bee profusely apologized; she realized the least she could have done is call and tell him. Upon Ay's return, he met up with some other friends and saved up some time for Bee to meet him afterward. But Bee had already made tentative plans with someone else, a coworker she sees every day. Ay INSISTED that Bee cancel her plans with Cee; they'll see each other again tomorrow at work anyway and can resume their fun on any other night. Bee responded by saying that she can't cancel fixed plans with someone else, even though that was exactly what she had done to Ay earlier in the week. Bee canceled on Ay, but would not cancel on Cee, even though Ay really wanted to talk. [more inside]
posted by smersh on Apr 1, 2013 - 54 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Your problems ruined our relationship. Here, read this.

I recently broke up with my long-term girlfriend because of her refusal to seek treatment for alcohol abuse, and, in my opinion, the maladaptive behavior that causes it. She (now) says that she wants to work on these issues for herself and her future, but I have my reservations (read: she didn't work on any of these issues in our relationship, so I doubt she's going to work on them now). Is it appropriate to send her links that describe these disorders, symptoms and treatment options? I realize that this may result in resentment, utter hatred, and most likely her resorting to the same old tendencies (maybe even worse???), but I do still care for her and want her to be the best person she can be.
posted by mrrisotto on Apr 1, 2013 - 22 answers

Am I overreacting or is my partner?

Partner frequently gets angry when we go out. This upsets me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 26 answers

Foolish Comment Ruins Chance With Amazing Woman

I recently met an amazing, smart woman. On our third date, I made a stupid comment that offended her. I made it worse by trying to cover myself. I really want to salvage this situation and see this woman again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2013 - 55 answers

Therapeutic Faith.

Do you have faith in your therapist's sense of certainty? [more inside]
posted by mild deer on Mar 31, 2013 - 21 answers

How to avoid communication with the girl before the first date?

I met a girl at a bar and I want to know how to avoid chatting with her all week before our first date. [more inside]
posted by Atlantic on Mar 31, 2013 - 25 answers

I'm safe and happy and loved! Why is that so hard?

I'm finally in a safe place for the first time since my early childhood. And I feel like I'm… emotionally detoxing? Please help me understand what's going on. [more inside]
posted by blue_and_bronze on Mar 30, 2013 - 23 answers

Leave nothing behind

When you're dating, when (if?) do you start leaving personal items behind? [more inside]
posted by ashworth on Mar 28, 2013 - 37 answers

My ex's new significant other is following me around on social media

My ex's new significant other is following me around on social media. Or at least it feels that way. [more inside]
posted by erstwhile ungulate on Mar 27, 2013 - 42 answers

Help me figure out what to do about my depressed boyfriend please

My once caring, kind, thoughtful bf of six months has fallen into a deep depressive state a month ago and has ceased most contacts with me three weeks ago- the exception being a phone call for my birthday- without outwardly breaking up with me; should I stay, should I go, should I wait and give him space, or wait and try and contact him myself? Do we have a future together according to you? Any thoughts/input is welcome, thank you very much! [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Mar 27, 2013 - 18 answers

Help! I'm living in a "Family Guy" episode.

My boyfriend of a little more than a year is a totally. great. guy. With one exception: he thinks that being funny means saying whatever overtly racist, homophobic or sexist joke he can think of as a response to many situations. I always stop and tell him it's not cool, then he says, "what? I'm just kidding." Now, I worry he might actually be pretty sexist. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 181 answers

Will love tear us apart?

I'm experiencing a very tumultuous time in my relationship with my partner of 4 years. I don't know what part of our relationship problems are due to his ADHD, general depression on both our parts or incompatibility. Where can I go from here? What questions can I ask myself and him to get a clearer idea of the origin of our problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 4 answers

How Does a New Couple Start Having Regular Money Talks?

My main squeeze is moving in! Our finances are starting to be a little more comingled and I'm looking for the best, healthiest way to start having a regular "money check-in" as part of our new life together. He is on board with this. How do we structure the conversation? Is there a sample agenda? Do we make it a date night? Help, please. [more inside]
posted by amoeba on Mar 26, 2013 - 12 answers

How do I find myself after a 9 year relationship?

My fiance and I have recently parted ways after a near 9 year relationship and it seems as though I've forgotten how to function. [more inside]
posted by KnittingBer on Mar 26, 2013 - 7 answers

Can no longer bang head against financial wall.

So... There are plenty of help-me-with-my-finances questions on MeFi, but this is more of a relationship question... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 37 answers

Am I just not couple material?

I can't tell if I’m overreacting/over analyzing because I've been single for so long. Do I just need time to adjust to being a couple? Should I just calm down and stick it out for awhile? [more inside]
posted by g33kygal on Mar 25, 2013 - 28 answers

Boyfriend has never had a long-term relationship and other concerns.

Is it unusual for a 28-year-old to have never had a relationship last past 3 months? [more inside]
posted by hanamachi82 on Mar 24, 2013 - 54 answers

I'm so glad all our friends are happy; let's break up

BreakupFilter: I've been dating a woman for about five months now, and whilst she's lovely I'm starting to think that maybe I've been hit by a limerence bomb... As it starts to fade, is it time for me to walk away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2013 - 17 answers

Do something sweet for a single mom who has a busy, stressful life

What sweet or thoughtful things could I do for a single mom that I'm dating? [more inside]
posted by mtphoto on Mar 21, 2013 - 12 answers

He texts me everyday but has never asked me out

I never initiate the texts except for a couple of times, but always reply and am nice and friendly. He texts me about anything, and usually sends funny images. He also hangs out with me randomly, for example yesterday I was giving out food for an event and he came without his friends to be with me. But he has made no moves other than that, as in no touching or complimenting me, but maybe he is not very good at flirting. I have had bad experiences when telling a guy first that I am interested. I don't like playing games, but I am wondering if I should be more challenging and mysterious? Does it seem like he is interested? He's been texting me for a month now. Thanks!
posted by lovisa91 on Mar 21, 2013 - 38 answers

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