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Am I overreacting or is my partner?

Partner frequently gets angry when we go out. This upsets me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 26 answers

Foolish Comment Ruins Chance With Amazing Woman

I recently met an amazing, smart woman. On our third date, I made a stupid comment that offended her. I made it worse by trying to cover myself. I really want to salvage this situation and see this woman again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2013 - 55 answers

Therapeutic Faith.

Do you have faith in your therapist's sense of certainty? [more inside]
posted by mild deer on Mar 31, 2013 - 21 answers

How to avoid communication with the girl before the first date?

I met a girl at a bar and I want to know how to avoid chatting with her all week before our first date. [more inside]
posted by Atlantic on Mar 31, 2013 - 25 answers

I'm safe and happy and loved! Why is that so hard?

I'm finally in a safe place for the first time since my early childhood. And I feel like I'm… emotionally detoxing? Please help me understand what's going on. [more inside]
posted by blue_and_bronze on Mar 30, 2013 - 23 answers

Leave nothing behind

When you're dating, when (if?) do you start leaving personal items behind? [more inside]
posted by ashworth on Mar 28, 2013 - 37 answers

My ex's new significant other is following me around on social media

My ex's new significant other is following me around on social media. Or at least it feels that way. [more inside]
posted by erstwhile ungulate on Mar 27, 2013 - 42 answers

Help me figure out what to do about my depressed boyfriend please

My once caring, kind, thoughtful bf of six months has fallen into a deep depressive state a month ago and has ceased most contacts with me three weeks ago- the exception being a phone call for my birthday- without outwardly breaking up with me; should I stay, should I go, should I wait and give him space, or wait and try and contact him myself? Do we have a future together according to you? Any thoughts/input is welcome, thank you very much! [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Mar 27, 2013 - 18 answers

Help! I'm living in a "Family Guy" episode.

My boyfriend of a little more than a year is a totally. great. guy. With one exception: he thinks that being funny means saying whatever overtly racist, homophobic or sexist joke he can think of as a response to many situations. I always stop and tell him it's not cool, then he says, "what? I'm just kidding." Now, I worry he might actually be pretty sexist. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 181 answers

Will love tear us apart?

I'm experiencing a very tumultuous time in my relationship with my partner of 4 years. I don't know what part of our relationship problems are due to his ADHD, general depression on both our parts or incompatibility. Where can I go from here? What questions can I ask myself and him to get a clearer idea of the origin of our problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 4 answers

How Does a New Couple Start Having Regular Money Talks?

My main squeeze is moving in! Our finances are starting to be a little more comingled and I'm looking for the best, healthiest way to start having a regular "money check-in" as part of our new life together. He is on board with this. How do we structure the conversation? Is there a sample agenda? Do we make it a date night? Help, please. [more inside]
posted by amoeba on Mar 26, 2013 - 12 answers

How do I find myself after a 9 year relationship?

My fiance and I have recently parted ways after a near 9 year relationship and it seems as though I've forgotten how to function. [more inside]
posted by KnittingBer on Mar 26, 2013 - 7 answers

Can no longer bang head against financial wall.

So... There are plenty of help-me-with-my-finances questions on MeFi, but this is more of a relationship question... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 37 answers

Am I just not couple material?

I can't tell if I’m overreacting/over analyzing because I've been single for so long. Do I just need time to adjust to being a couple? Should I just calm down and stick it out for awhile? [more inside]
posted by g33kygal on Mar 25, 2013 - 28 answers

Boyfriend has never had a long-term relationship and other concerns.

Is it unusual for a 28-year-old to have never had a relationship last past 3 months? [more inside]
posted by hanamachi82 on Mar 24, 2013 - 54 answers

I'm so glad all our friends are happy; let's break up

BreakupFilter: I've been dating a woman for about five months now, and whilst she's lovely I'm starting to think that maybe I've been hit by a limerence bomb... As it starts to fade, is it time for me to walk away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2013 - 17 answers

Do something sweet for a single mom who has a busy, stressful life

What sweet or thoughtful things could I do for a single mom that I'm dating? [more inside]
posted by mtphoto on Mar 21, 2013 - 12 answers

He texts me everyday but has never asked me out

I never initiate the texts except for a couple of times, but always reply and am nice and friendly. He texts me about anything, and usually sends funny images. He also hangs out with me randomly, for example yesterday I was giving out food for an event and he came without his friends to be with me. But he has made no moves other than that, as in no touching or complimenting me, but maybe he is not very good at flirting. I have had bad experiences when telling a guy first that I am interested. I don't like playing games, but I am wondering if I should be more challenging and mysterious? Does it seem like he is interested? He's been texting me for a month now. Thanks!
posted by lovisa91 on Mar 21, 2013 - 38 answers

stop me from putting her on a pedestal

I've realized that I put my ex-girlfriend on a pedestal. I didn't realize it because I thought it was best to think of someone before yourself, to think of their needs/wants first, to see the good in them, negotiate on the things that don't work but as i read more about this pedestal, I'm certain i do this and getting confused on where/how to draw lines. I'm not sure how to approach this issue in a healthy way. And now that she is on that pedestal...how do i get her off or avoid this with the next girl. I'm looking for real strategies, interventions and hacks that i can practice. Specific examples are also very helpful (like he said this, I said that). Cds, books, videos that can change my perception also helpful. thanks.
posted by PeaPod on Mar 19, 2013 - 6 answers

Feeling rejected and awful

I had few men reject me lately and it has really done a number on my self-esteem. I don't really know how it works for other people, but I can never seem to get even close to who I want. [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Mar 17, 2013 - 47 answers

Help me respond constructively to my brother!

My older brother (in his 50s) posted something on FB regarding the Steubenville rape case, which was: [more inside]
posted by HopperFan on Mar 17, 2013 - 52 answers

He keeps hanging out with me as friends but is in an open relationship.

I like a PhD student at university, who sat next to me a couple months ago in a cafe on campus and started talking to me. He is in an open relationship, so although he is free to be with girls, I told him I don't want to hook up with him. He said he still wants to be friends, but has been texting me everyday since. I enjoy his company, and want to be his friend but I don't know if this amount of communication is wrong for his 'girlfriend', and if he is interested in me. [more inside]
posted by lovisa91 on Mar 13, 2013 - 34 answers

LDR or not?

5yr relationship relationship about to embark on potential 2 years or longer LDR [more inside]
posted by Trinergy on Mar 13, 2013 - 22 answers

Relationship fallout. Its like high school all over again.

Help a gal get some perspective on a relationship that ended as quickly as it began. Things were going very well, I thought we'd spend V'day together, then was disappointed when he was very wishy-washy with plans. It ended up in a huge, unnecessary fight. I'm still having lots of trouble getting past the fallout. Where do I go from here? Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by couchtater on Mar 12, 2013 - 25 answers

How to recover from ex-boyfriend who withheld sex?

Most recent relationship did a number on my self-confidence. Help me figure out how to regain what was lost. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2013 - 17 answers

A well-balanced relationship is making me feel insecure

I have a ten year history of extremely intense borderline co-dependent relationships that consume my life. Two years ago I finally ended the cycle and started working on myself, now I'm trying to have healthy relationships, but it's not working as well as I anticipated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2013 - 11 answers

I acted needy- can I do anything to rectify this?

Been dating a guy for 4 months and I acted needy, is there anyway I can resolve this. I don't want to lose him but fear it may be a little late now! [more inside]
posted by artystar on Mar 11, 2013 - 38 answers

Trying to find balance in LTR.

We have been dating for a year now and spend pretty much every available moment together. But it's stressing me out, I can't see my friends, and my free time after work and wekends, which used to contain a healthy quantity of "me" time, get swallowed up by "us". How can I find a balance without hurting his feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2013 - 21 answers

How much is too much when you're empathizing with a narcissist?

My BFF and former FWB-type is most likely a narcissist (*My untrained diagnosis). With every argument, fight, or disagreement, I find myself resolving things on their terms, usually because I can empathize with their emotional state and/or their "situation." So I find the logic in their position, however skewed, and I stop being upset. Probably unhealthy? To a point? ... Where's the line? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2013 - 25 answers

Why do I keep falling for men who seem to care for me when they don't?

This has been happening for a few years now, where I fall for somebody emotionally unavailable, or already in a relationship and they do not tell me until much later. It has happened every single time with men that show interest in me and it is very upsetting as it makes me feel worthless or only second best. I feel like going on a break from men, even though it would technically be a break from nothing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2013 - 19 answers

Dating when you already have feelings you never intend to act on?

I have feelings for another woman that I have no intention of ever acting on, and my current relationship seems doomed because of it. Help. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Mar 8, 2013 - 78 answers

*Arabic speakers*: Brokenhearted girl needs your translation ability

Here is the photo with the Arabic message: LINK What does this say in English? I think the girl might represent me. She looks brokenhearted, too. Thank you so much for your help!
posted by thatgirl1985 on Mar 8, 2013 - 3 answers

How do I make this odd romantic getaway a success?

We met when I was there. We dated when I was there. Now he's coming here. And I'm freaking out (a shmear). [more inside]
posted by airguitar2 on Mar 7, 2013 - 8 answers

Fairness and compensation

I feel that since older, attractive, successful guys get so much love already, I shouldn't like them. It just feels unfair, so much so that I try to deny my feelings and COMPENSATE by liking the opposite. This has terrible results. How do I stop thinking like this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2013 - 19 answers

Boyfriend's ex is a constant presence in his life

A colleague has recently asked me to go out with him. The major red flag is that his ex-girlfriend whom he split up with, is a work colleague. In fact, all three of us work in the same organisation. The two of them have very senior posts and the nature of their work is such that they need to interact at meetings every day. I have a less important job and only work part-time. He was dating his ex for many years and the breakup wasn't easy. None of us are likely to leave our jobs. Does working closely with an ex ever rekindle the flame? Also, they sometimes work late in the evenings and she lives near him, so she often takes a lift with him. Should this be stopped? After all they are in close proximity anyway, so what is an extra 20 minutes in the car? Would you say this is enough of a ref flag and I shouldn't go ahead?
posted by ashawill on Mar 4, 2013 - 50 answers

Taking time off from a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 21 answers

Who wrote this story about a marvellous Alsation dog?

If anyone recognises this story, please can you tell me the author? I think the story is about five years old. An ordinary man with low self-esteem is dumped by his beautiful intelligent accomplished girlfriend. She gives him a dog as a pity present, with a snide subtext that the dog is better than he is. Gradually through caring for the dog, a magnificent Alsation, and taking pride in it, the man recovers his self-esteem and becomes sought-after. It's a story that feels as if it has a lot of undercurrents and as if it's not as simple as it looks: in some way the dog stands in for the guy, or represents the guy or becomes a totem for him. Or something.
posted by glasseyes on Mar 3, 2013 - 3 answers

Is it 'wrong' to snuggle without sex?

Am I leading someone on if he sleeps in my bed but not with me? [more inside]
posted by thank you silence on Mar 2, 2013 - 44 answers

in need of a reality check, possibly?

Hello! Over the past summer I was coming out of (what I now view as) an abusive relationship with someone who is likely an alcoholic. There was violence, a ton of debt, cruel language, cheating on several levels, etc. I posted about it here. I went total NC with that one, despite his continued attempts to keep in contact with me, and didn't date at all or even contemplate a new relationship until the end of the holidays when I met a guy who totally took me by surprise and seemed amazing. I told him up front that I was coming off of an abusive relationship and had been cheated on repeatedly, with both strangers as well as my ex-'s "closest female friends", so I was highly sensitive to certain things and wasn't quite sure if I was healed enough yet. He told me that he was already loving who I was, and accepted me so far, and that I was "worth it" and so forth. I decided to give it a go. [more inside]
posted by orumi on Mar 2, 2013 - 35 answers

Is continuing to sleep with an ex ever not a bad idea?

TL;DR: The guy I'm dating non-exclusively is still sleeping with his ex. I can't decide if this is a red flag or not. For the record, I have been the one insisting we keep things open. [more inside]
posted by krakenattack on Feb 28, 2013 - 36 answers

How do you talk to someone who interprets everything as an attack?

Help me Metafilter! I need cognitive and/or behavioral hacks to better deal with someone whose anxiety/self-esteem issues tend to make every conversation into a battle. [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Feb 28, 2013 - 30 answers

I want to help you with your pain but it makes my pain hurt, too.

I'm four months into a fairly intense relationship, and drama and mental health issues have reared their ugly heads. As someone who has had recent mental health problems of my own, I'm feeling a little shaky about the whole thing; can the hive mind give me another perspective? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2013 - 13 answers

Lose a good friend or try to fix it?

Is a man who pretends to be friends with a woman when he is actually interested in more than friendship doing something shady? Should said woman (myself) drop him as a friend or give him a chance to adjust? He’s a good friend and generally a positive, interesting and charming friend to have (smart, insightful, witty, capable of deep conversation, trustworthy with secrets, understanding…). I’m simply not interested in dating him (for many reasons, the most glaring of which is that he’s sexist in subtle ways that I couldn’t tolerate in a partner), but I value and love his friendship and conversation. I do not want to date him, ever. I don’t know if I should salvage our friendship or let it go, for his sake and mine...I've included the details below but I think this summary captures what I am trying to intellectually and emotionally figure out. [more inside]
posted by grassbottles on Feb 28, 2013 - 54 answers

Talking: How does it work?

I've been seeing my boyfriend for about three months, and just about everything is great. We see each other almost every day and sleep at each other's houses so often we practically live together. We have everything in common, and I've never met anyone I click with that much. One thing we have in common that's not so great, though: we're both shy, and sometimes we don't know what to say to each other! How can we overcome this? And, while we're on the subject, what are some good conversation starters? More info below. [more inside]
posted by Gee, June! on Feb 27, 2013 - 39 answers

Cold Feet or Reasonable Doubts?

My boyfriend treats me wonderfully, like I'm the most important thing on the planet. Now, we are taking our first steps down a very quick path towards Full Lifetime Committment: moving-in, with the understanding that marriage and kids will follow shortly. (Why the speed? I'm 37 with some history of ladytroubles that require maximum time to try and get pregnant.) I was feeling very ready for all this 2-3 months ago, but now am having doubts. Help! Are these standard cold feet, or do you spot any red flags here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2013 - 26 answers

To stay [gone] or go [back]?

My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 26, 2013 - 40 answers

Time to talk, or time to move on?

Is it better to just break up with my SO, or tell them how anxious I am about moving in together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2013 - 25 answers

Here come those tears.

I have to have a relationship talk tonight with a new person in my life. It's going to be stressful but I think it's going to be okay. How do I not cry? I have a tendency to get choked up and cry during certain types of discussions where I feel vulnerable. (It even happens at work, but that's another AskMe.) What do I do? Should I just issue a warning before we talk?
posted by summer sock on Feb 22, 2013 - 10 answers

like him but not attracted to him. what to do?

I met a guy through an online dating website who I like but am not attracted to. I'd like to meet with him again, but how do I manage this without leading him on? And is online dating always going to be like this? [more inside]
posted by starcrust on Feb 21, 2013 - 29 answers

how do you balance a relationship with the rest of your life?

In my first relationship where I'm spending significant amounts of time with a boyfriend and need some guidance on how I can balance 'him' time and 'me' time. [more inside]
posted by sockypuppeteer on Feb 20, 2013 - 15 answers

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