3233 posts tagged with Relationships.
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How do I enjoy being single?

My ex moved out roughly 2 weeks ago. I'm feeling extremely sad and alone. How do I not jump into another relationship right away? [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Oct 16, 2015 - 20 answers

Can't love someone or just don't love someone? How do I fix this?

I have been a series of unsuccessful relationships where my feelings disappeared over time. I cannot feel love for my long term partner, but also no longer feel love for family members. I have a history of severe depression, which is clearly an issue, but am not currently feeling particularly depressed (by my own standards, if not those of most people). I don't know how to proceed in my current relationship, as I don't know if my feelings are masked, possibly recoverable or just gone forever. I have posted here before about other emotional issues, but I’m keeping this anonymous because the other threads would link this one back to me. The MeFi community was *amazing* last time. This is a much more complex issue, but I would still appreciate your views. Can I learn to love - my partner, myself, anyone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2015 - 8 answers

How much should I believe my PMS/PMDD?

I want to leave my life half of the month—is this the truth? Or is the truth the first half of the month, when things are basically fine? [more inside]
posted by Clotilde on Oct 15, 2015 - 22 answers

What is it like to be in a partnership where one person has limited mobility?

What are the adaptations in your house that you've made to make your life a little easier (e.g., walk-in shower, service dog)? Is the limited mobility something you think about every day, or does it just become a part of your life after a while? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2015 - 12 answers

Books on proper development of LTRs?

I'm looking for recommendations on books that explain how to properly develop a long-term relationship with a view towards long-term commitment/marriage. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by gadha on Oct 14, 2015 - 5 answers

Have you published an essay about people you know?

I've written an essay about my relationship with my ex. What are your experiences with publishing personal essays about friends or family members? [more inside]
posted by Tenzing_Norgay on Oct 12, 2015 - 21 answers

When things start going very wrong...

I started a new job in another country 15 months ago. It seemed to be going great and changed my life for the better. But then last couple of months, things started to go unexpectedly downhill and it snowballed from there. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2015 - 8 answers

How to find a balance with a (maybe?) flirty partner?

My husband and I have different boundaries when it comes to what we consider to be 'kind of cheating' behaviour and I'm struggling to deal with it. My current plan is based on a tit-for-tat approach, but that seems pretty childish. What is a better way to deal with this without becoming a crazy jealousy monster? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2015 - 33 answers

I want to hold your hand.

How do you deal with lack of physical contact as a single person, especially when it's one of your primary love languages? [more inside]
posted by tworedshoes on Oct 8, 2015 - 19 answers

I need to hear you say it

I like to hear the words "I love you" more than my partner likes to say them. What to do? [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Oct 7, 2015 - 18 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend that I love him? If so, how?

We've been dating for three months. I love him, but he hasn't said it yet, and I don't know if I want to say it first. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 5, 2015 - 20 answers

How do deal with "If you loved me, you'd..." in a relationship?

I come from an affectionate family; my husband is physically affectionate, but he says "I love you" to me basically on my birthday and Christmas (you get the gist). I've told him recently I'd like to hear it once a day or more, that it means a lot to me to hear it. [more inside]
posted by Piedmont_Americana on Oct 5, 2015 - 22 answers

Approaches for financial imbalances in a committed relationship?

My partner and I are in a committed relationship of over three years. She's in academia getting her PhD, I hold a professional 9-5 "knowledge-worker" position making a substantial salary. We've been living together for a year and a half, and have worked out a financial situation based on equitable contributions (pretty much a percentage of our incomes). But, my partner is about to enter into the writing the dissertation phase, but her grant money will run out and taking out additional student loans just seems like digging deeper into insane debt. We're discussing a situation where temporarily I'll effectively be supporting her fully. What approaches have other MeFites taken in this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2015 - 39 answers

Compromise... how does that work?

I am madly in love with my boyfriend and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I also desperately miss being single and only being responsible to and for myself. I'm not sure how to cope with this; I don't know whether it's going to get better on its own as we get better at communicating with each other, whether I'm just going to gradually get used to the status quo, or whether I need to mourn that loss of independence and move on with my (generally pretty great) new life (maybe all three). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Help me clean up this oral sex misunderstanding

I didn't go down on her. How do I tell her why? [more inside]
posted by trinity8-director on Oct 2, 2015 - 17 answers

Dealing w/ being an Average Jane engaged to a brilliant genius?

So I screwed up undergrad, pretty much eliminating the possibility of an academic career for myself, and got engaged to a guy who is in the most academic of careers. I'm envious and embarrassed about my lack of career path compared to his glittering academic future, and my current job is really not long-term sustainable. Hopeless, miserable, and alternating between feeling bitterly envious and then tortured by guilt for being such an unfair jerk, I'm being a bad partner, and I really don't know how to navigate all this. [more inside]
posted by bugperson on Oct 2, 2015 - 63 answers

Your mind is telling me no... and your mind is telling me yes...

The Situation: A guy whom I felt complicatedly "led me on," and with whom I thought I had begun to come to a resolution, has rapidly returned to strong behaviors that led me to fall for him in the first place. This is upsetting and confusing, as I had made clear that these were what led us into the situation in the first place. I'd love some help and advice as to navigating a conversation with him about boundaries, while balancing complicated feelings of deep connection to this gentleman and the need to respect myself and model such self-respect. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2015 - 21 answers

Appropriate ways of coping

Two years ago, my husband and I separated. A year ago we got divorced. Although he initiated the split, we both agreed it was probably the best thing to do. We had managed to maintain a cordial but distant relationship until a few weeks ago, when he informed me that he is dating an old friend of ours who also happens to live on my street. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2015 - 22 answers

Books about setting boundaries

I'm looking for books, preferably audio books, about setting boundaries with people and learning when to say no/yes. I want something grounded in psychology, without any religious undertones (although I am open to wisdom from any religion as long as it doesn't get preachy).
posted by omar.a on Sep 28, 2015 - 3 answers

Well great. What do I do now?

I never thought I'd be posting a relationship question, but here we are. I don't want an LDR and I don't like talking on the phone. That's the least of it. [more inside]
posted by Dolley on Sep 28, 2015 - 12 answers

Does our decision to get an abortion mean that our relationship is bad?

My boyfriend and I have only been together for ten months, but things have moved really quickly. He moved in with me, and we have talked a lot about future plans. I just found out that I am pregnant, and we are leaning toward having an abortion. I can't help but to feel that if neither of us want to have a baby with each other, then our relationship is probably not as strong as I thought. [more inside]
posted by Wizzow on Sep 28, 2015 - 39 answers

V complicated, but hopefully interesting question

I'm in love with a guy with cancer. I'm 31 and starting to feel like I want my life to move on soon. Cancer means it can't with him, and he doesn't want to plan a future right now. What to do? [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Sep 27, 2015 - 22 answers

My Boyfriend is a Divorcing Dad: What is Appropriate?

I've never dated a dad before -- and now have a boyfriend with two children whose divorce isn't final. They are a very "low boundaries" family and I'm having a hard time dealing with what is said, discussed in front of his children... [more inside]
posted by alice_curiouse on Sep 26, 2015 - 31 answers

Recommendations for a psychiatrist in Manhattan?

I have wasted years, literally, recovering from recent breakups and life is slipping away. Is there a psychiatrist in Manhattan or Brooklyn who could help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 23, 2015 - 5 answers

Supportive relationships in fiction

I was inspired by previous threads that asked for illustrations of healthy relationships. I am asking now for illustrations of fruitful mentor/mentee-type relationships (especially among equals, as opposed to parent/child or teacher/student). [more inside]
posted by Don Don on Sep 22, 2015 - 13 answers

How can I move my life forward?

I feel like my life is in a standstill and I’m going nowhere and I don’t know how to change that. Do I need therapy or a swift kick in the butt? [more inside]
posted by Bunglegirl on Sep 20, 2015 - 18 answers

How to focus on the things you want to do when your SO is around

I have a couple of good habits I'm working on instilling in myself (exercising and working on my art), but I never seem to have the time or energy when my SO is in town. What strategies do you use to carve out time for yourself? [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Sep 20, 2015 - 10 answers

Dealing with abusive former collaborator who runs in same social circles

My close professional relationship with a man ended badly because he was abusive towards me and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. He's blown up over tiny things, yelled at me until I cried, made inappropriate sexual advances, etc. He’s done this to at least 5 different women, but nobody wants to talk about it openly. [more inside]
posted by doodletoo on Sep 20, 2015 - 7 answers

Girlfriend has possibly hereditary depression---education for me?

I'm looking for resources, either literature or conversation, to help me think about getting into a serious relationship with someone who is mentally ill and has enormous family history of mental illness. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2015 - 33 answers

Are polyamorous relationships more stable?

I've seen a lot of couples go through serious relationship issues when both members of the couple are under significant stress simultaneously - does it help to have a third (or fourth) "partner" to stabilize the relationship when two of the members of the relationship are losing their minds? [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Sep 14, 2015 - 31 answers

Healthy Expectations for New Dating Situation?

I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Sep 14, 2015 - 13 answers

I Broke Up with Him and I'm Heartbroken

I broke up with him a week ago. I feel like he is the one who broke up with me. [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Sep 12, 2015 - 63 answers

Can stress make you reconsider relationships?

I'm pretty stressed out (and maybe depressed?) and it's making me annoyed all the time and unfortunately, surfacing niggling feelings that is making me reconsider my relationship. Now I feel even more stressed and just plain guilty and mean. How do you think clearly through stress/depression/anxiety/etc. about this kind of issue and differentiate the stress-thinking from everything else? [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Sep 9, 2015 - 30 answers

And down will come cradle, cradle and ALL??

How did you and your partner survive parenthood? [more inside]
posted by Rocket26 on Sep 9, 2015 - 25 answers

Music for the bedroom?

What are some songs I can use to mask the noise of sex so I can be polite to my roommates and allow my girlfriend and me to fully enjoy ourselves? [more inside]
posted by mtphoto on Sep 9, 2015 - 28 answers

Niggling hope, post breakup edition. How to squelch it?

My long distance boyfriend of 2 years suddenly and coldly broke up with me during my last visit, before I could tell him I wanted to move for him and build a future. We have 4-5 flights for the next three months already booked. I have this niggling, nefarious, wretched shred of hope that he will still get on his flight(s) to come see me. This hope wedges its way into my mind and is destroying me. How do I kill it so it stops stunting my ability to move on? [more inside]
posted by doctordrey on Sep 9, 2015 - 25 answers

Dealing with overbearing sibling of boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been together a very very long time and its been a rough road for the past few years because of his excessive need for space and distance, and his need to socialize with friends when are together. We were both ambivalent towards the notion of marriage earlier but are now working towards it. After living for many years in a long distance relationship we are now living together in the same city as his sister. She is fundamentally a kind and generous person but not someone I'd independently be friends. My problem is since my boyfriend moved into the city they have both been rather aggressive about spending time with each other with my boyfriend mostly unable but often unwilling to set boundaries and carve the space we need. More inside..... [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on Sep 6, 2015 - 36 answers

Is he a liar or am I just crazy? Should I break it off?

I am starting to think my boyfriend has been lying to me for a long time. Not sure what to do about this relationship. [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Sep 5, 2015 - 78 answers

What's it like to be with a girl whom you love more than she loves you?

I guess I'm mostly interested in guys' perspectives here, although I'd be interested to hear from girls too (whatever your sexual preference). Have you ever been in a relationship with a girl whom you loved significantly more than you felt loved by her? What did that feel like? How was the relationship and how did it end? Did you ever discuss this with her? [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Sep 5, 2015 - 10 answers

How do I ask for what I need/want without guilt-tripping people?

In the aftermath of a pretty fulfilling relationship that lasted almost a year, I've come to realize that I have never learned how to ask people for what I need in relationships without making people feel guilty for saying no. This might be a long one. Does anyone know of good books on how to do this or any suggestions/advice? [more inside]
posted by oogenesis on Sep 4, 2015 - 16 answers

How to handle a jealous partner?

Need help in reassuring/dealing with a rather jealous boyfriend. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 25, 2015 - 80 answers

Help me learn to talk about myself.

I’m really bad at talking about what’s going on in my life with my family, on both the trivial and profound levels. This is really starting to hurt my relationships. Please help me learn how to do it. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Aug 25, 2015 - 12 answers

Finally pulled the plug on relationship, feeling confused.

I finally pulled the plug on my relationship after I realized I had been unhappy for most of it. My boyfriend was surprisingly understanding and respectful about it. I have a flight in a week, but I find myself often wondering if I’ve done the right thing. I’m worried I might back out of leaving and I need help. Our history and wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Aug 24, 2015 - 20 answers

Hey illness, please give me my partner back

Need help handling growing apart from your partner when chronic illness has eliminated everything you had in common. If the relationship is deteriorating, when and how should you keep it alive? [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Aug 17, 2015 - 31 answers

Broke up with toxic ex, why do I feel like I did something wrong?

I broke up with my toxic ex roughly 2 weeks ago and I feel real empty and weird. I feel sad and feel like I did something wrong but he mainly to blame for this. More inside [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Aug 16, 2015 - 16 answers

Nice is creepy

I am really struggling with developing relationships with nice nonsocially awkward people. Having gone to a few different cbt therapists, I have made major improvements with anxiety/perfectionism/feeling judged. However, when I start chatting with someone who seems not at all socially awkward and appropriately nice, I feel my skin start to crawl and distance myself. How can I fix this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2015 - 9 answers

Can you teach yourself to be more compassionate in relationships?

Need help in stopping a toxic behavioral pattern in post-divorce relationships. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 14, 2015 - 7 answers

Grandparents hate us, want to continue loving baby. Now what?

My husband's parents are the only grandparents my child see regularly (we live in his country rather than mine) have decided that they no longer want a relationship with us. They do, however, want to continue their bi-weekly visits to see the baby which I would be "hosting". We don't want to cut them off, but I am not enthused. Reassurance and tips on navigating this requested. I am so confused!! [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Aug 12, 2015 - 92 answers

It Really Has Been That Easy For This Pretty Boy

So, I am married to a very pretty guy. We are both mid 30s. His entire relationship history includes women just throwing themselves at him, so he hasn't had to ever make any effort to learn how to be romantic or initiate foreplay. His current method is to just tell me he wants to have sex. When I complained that his method wasn't enough for me, he asked me what I want him to do. It is like I'm dealing with an adolescent boy. What resources could I steer him towards that don't include a sex therapist?
posted by LilithSilver on Aug 11, 2015 - 22 answers

When should you compromise on compromising?

An old flame who has since moved away has recently reached out to me asking if we can give things another go. I'm amenable to the idea, but I feel rather strongly that we should spend a weekend together in a neutral location before deciding anything further. Planning for this has stalled. My gut is giving me mixed signals, has this reached an end or do I need to be more flexible? [more inside]
posted by bernie60676 on Aug 11, 2015 - 31 answers

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