3280 posts tagged with Relationships.
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Should I leave the relationship?

I have been in a relationship for 3.5 years and have currently been told by my partner to have a 'think' about what I want to do. I don't expect you to solve my problems for me but other perspectives might be useful. Apologies as there is a background blizzard which I will try to keep brief. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2016 - 21 answers

My fiancee is uncomfortable with my friendship with another woman!`

My wife-to-be made a friend. That friend and I also got along well and became friends. My fiancee was hurt by this, the friendship ended and now I'm unsure how to proceed. Much, much more below [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2016 - 74 answers

High Risk HPV Transmission

Can HIGH risk HPV be transmitted by performing oral sex? [more inside]
posted by Asian_Hunnie on Jan 7, 2016 - 6 answers

I'm worried about being a successful woman when it comes to dating.

At 24, I worry about how to present myself without coming across as intimidating to men. [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on Jan 7, 2016 - 58 answers

Cancer troubles vs relationship troubles?

Boyfriend has colorectal cancer and I am starting to struggle to support him as I feel increasingly resentful and like I'm losing my own life to support his. Please help.... [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Jan 7, 2016 - 16 answers

How has your extended family handled your poly relationship?

Asking for a writing project (not in need of personal guidance). Have you told your parents, siblings, aunts, etc. about your "other" partner(s)? How do you handle family gatherings/occasions, and more importantly, how much or how little have your (or your partners') family accepted it? For lack of a better phrase, what happened when you "came out" as poly? [more inside]
posted by scaryblackdeath on Jan 3, 2016 - 7 answers

Adressing emotional infidelity

I've been dating Laura exclusively for 6 months. She was recently vacationing at a resort without me, and I have found out that she spent a lot of time getting to know another guy in a pretty intense/intimate way. I don't believe she slept with him but I can't be sure. She has not talked to me about this herself, normally we share practically everything and have discussed the issue of exclusivity/jealousy in the past. She's omitting it in my case but has talked about it to others and this is how I found out. Now I can't shake feelings of hurt and betrayal and I'm not sure what to do with them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 1, 2016 - 40 answers

resources for troubled in-law relations?

Yeah, I know, in-law problems are so common as to be a cliche. But I don't want my family to be a cliche! The resources I've found on in-law relationships have typically been super conservative/religious, or deal with highly toxic and dramatic situations (which ours isn't), or are mostly parenting-focused (we don't have kids). Surely someone has written a book or a blog about in-law issues that are mostly about clashing personalities and priorities? [more inside]
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese on Dec 28, 2015 - 23 answers

Office Hours at Home

My partner often comes up to me and starts talking no matter what I'm doing - reading a book, writing, working on a drawing. He doesn't wait until I make eye contact or acknowledge him - he just starts talking. This means that when I'm concentrating on something I'm frequently interrupted. Is there a way for me to remain physically present and available for occasional conversation while signalling that I am busy and don't wish to be constantly interrupted? [more inside]
posted by sleepy psychonaut on Dec 26, 2015 - 30 answers

How to be okay with the ex-wife at Christmas (and other family events)

How do you deal with new partners with adult kids - and more importantly, the ex partners! Asking for my MIL (I haven't told her I'm doing this, I just want to be a good DIL and want some good advice to give her - whether she accepts it or not is another matter, that will probably be down to how I present it...) [more inside]
posted by finding.perdita on Dec 26, 2015 - 20 answers

They're singin' Deck The Halls, but it's not like Christmas at all...

The ex and I have started hanging out frequently again after a several month period of no contact and a couple of other dates/relationships with others under our belts while maintaining a loose friendship, and I want a second chance at our relationship. What's the healthiest way to proceed without screwing this up? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Dec 22, 2015 - 15 answers

How to help cheating ex without hurting myself

Ex cheated on me. It hurts. She's now in an abusive, controlling relationship. Where do I draw the line between helping her and helping me? Many, many snow flurries inside. [more inside]
posted by AnonymousPuppet on Dec 21, 2015 - 30 answers

Feeling ambivalent about my relationship, but I don't know how to say so

In recent weeks I've started to notice that I've become ambivalent about my relationship with my GF. Recently she was away for a weekend and I realised that I didn't miss her all that much. I think that I need to talk to her about this but I don't know how to do it fairly and kindly. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Dec 17, 2015 - 32 answers

Coming to terms with yourself and your thoughts

I have a hard time making decisions or trusting my gut. I'm a big worrier and I am hard on myself. I need an objective opinion on thoughts I have been struggling with regarding my relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2015 - 15 answers

Am I unlucky, or unlovable?!

Ok, that was a very dramatic question title. But dude: I'm 32 and haven't had a relationship for 5 and 1/2 years! How do I change this and/or shake the feeling it's because I'm just not worthy? [more inside]
posted by dryersock on Dec 13, 2015 - 15 answers

Tell me this isn't limerence

I have been pretty sure I like this girl for a while now, and now that the issue has been raised and left unresolved, I'm in crisis mode and don't know what I'm feeling. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Dec 13, 2015 - 12 answers

How to get through a toxic work relationship/environment?

I'm having a hard time aligning with my co-worker. I think we're incompatible. There's also been the feel of a toxic work environment. More under the fold. [more inside]
posted by dubious_dude on Dec 10, 2015 - 17 answers

How to Deal With My Mother (Not Just Holiday Edition)

I've always had a strange relationship with my mother and the holiday season obviously makes it harder. I live overseas and today I learned my cousin died two days ago .. via my mother putting up an In Memoriam video on FB. It's the latest blow in a long series of disappointments. I'd appreciate advice on how to deal with a mother who both pulls me in and keep pushing me away. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2015 - 24 answers

For a successful marriage, marry your second spouse.

What are some truisms that you know of or have learnt through your personal experience when it comes to deciding whom to marry? What are some good rules of thumb to finding the right partner the first time around? [more inside]
posted by rippersid on Nov 30, 2015 - 51 answers

How do I stop being infatuated?

I'm a 40-ish married man. How do I stop being infatuated with a younger woman that I know very well? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 29, 2015 - 43 answers

My partner has ED. How do I make him feel better?

My boyfriend has had problems maintaining an erection and reaching orgasm for the 7 months we've been together. I love him a lot and know that this hurts him, probably far more than he is letting on. This isn't about me - I would just love some advice from people that have either been in my or his situation about things that have helped them to feel like they aren't a failure or less masculine because of it. [more inside]
posted by kyetak on Nov 26, 2015 - 16 answers

A two-part question about cheating

For those who have been cheated on: how did you deal with the heartbreak? For those who have cheated: how did you deal with the guilt? Would like to hear from those who were in very long-term relationships (10+ years) and whose relationships did not survive. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Nov 24, 2015 - 26 answers

It's not you, it's me, no, it's you.

I went out with a guy a few months ago. It didn't work out and for some reason I'm still puzzled by and dwelling at times on his behavior. Was it him? Was it me? Wtf. [more inside]
posted by a knot unknown on Nov 24, 2015 - 22 answers

How do we improve our intellectual connection?

I’m dating a man who is my kindred spirit in many ways. However, we have been dating for a year now, and I have felt over most of this time a sense of yearning for challenging conversation that I just don’t get with him. How have you seen people develop their critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and complex verbal expression abilities as adults? Conversely, if you have found happiness being with someone with whom you don’t have an intellectual connection, how have you managed around this on an everyday basis? [more inside]
posted by forasong on Nov 23, 2015 - 88 answers

How to deal with insecurity over exes in a new relationship

My new boyfriend's recent ex still contacts him. I don't think there is anything inappropriate going on, but the fact that they still have an emotional connection makes me uneasy. Can you give me a reality check on whether I'm being reasonable, and how to address it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2015 - 21 answers

What should I do about this contact from an ex?

Three and a half years ago, I (a man) ended a relationship with a woman and have not had any interaction with her since. In the past few months, she (1) left a series of love notes for me on a tree by a running path near my house; (2) sent me a letter at my work asking to meet in person to speak about our breakup; and (3) sent me an email the same day asking why I hadn't agreed to meet with her in person. All of this would be okay (but awkward) had we broken up three weeks ago, but, as it's been three and a half years, I'm a little concerned. What should I do? Not do? I have not yet replied in any way. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2015 - 38 answers

Is there some Facebook tradecraft I need to learn?

For the sake of relationship harmony I've created a Facebook profile. How can I use Facebook without having it become an intrustive and hateful thing in my life? [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 19, 2015 - 30 answers

How to tackle multiple goals or get shit done w/anxiety etc.

Sort of recently (about 2 & a half months in) moved to a brand new town so my husband (I'm, 29, he's 32) could go to uni. I was so stoked on having a clean slate to start everything anew, but not so much any more. Reality has set in and i'm dealing with soaring bouts of anxiety and pretty severe mood swings, and can't seem to decide anything tangible to get shit actually done. Any ideas / practical advice regarding how to deal with this would be so welcome. I have so much time alone i think i'm actually going a little nuts. More inside [more inside]
posted by speakeasy on Nov 18, 2015 - 18 answers

"Good" Reasons for Not Doing/Getting a Desirable Thing

Coming at this from a psychological/sociological stance, not a personal/idosyncratic one. What are the broad categories of reasons someone doesn't do or get something they say they want? For example, one would be "Doesn't really want it" (actual desire or willingness to 'pay the cost'). Another: "Doesn't know how to achieve it" (the domain of knowledge/capability). And, perhaps, "Doesn't have permission" (no power/authority to effect the change). [more inside]
posted by dancing leaves on Nov 14, 2015 - 32 answers

I'm the "other woman" & I have a guilty conscience. What to do?

I recently, drunkenly engaged in minimal (Re: not sex) cheating with a person in a long-term relationship. They seem disinterested in telling their partner, whereas I can't shake the feeling that they should know... [more inside]
posted by meeeese on Nov 10, 2015 - 62 answers

Non-awkwardly doing my own thing during beginning of real relationship

I have a new boyfriend, total sweetheart, things are going well. It feels like a relationship that could be a good thing long term, though I know it is new. The kind of person I could see myself making a home with. It's been a while since I've been "in a relationship" so I'm not used to trying to fit someone into my life. Logistically...how do you do a good job navigating doing your own thing while getting closer to someone new? [more inside]
posted by Squalor Victoria on Nov 9, 2015 - 11 answers

Advice for dating someone with clinical depression

Most of the posts I found here were by posters suffering from depression themselves. I'm interested in those perspectives (what a partner can do to help) but primarily those of people who've been in relationships with a depressed person, but aren't depressed themselves. More specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by ism on Nov 6, 2015 - 24 answers

Political differences with boss

My very politically conservative boss is outspoken about her political beliefs and frequently spouts off about issues on which my opinion is the opposite (I’m very politically liberal). Her remarks tend to skirt (but not exactly cross) the line of what’s overtly offensive. I don’t want to jeopardize my working relationship with her, but I need some help and advice on how to cope with this situation, especially with the next presidential election coming up (I’m in the USA). [more inside]
posted by pupstocks on Nov 5, 2015 - 26 answers

My partner thinks I am emotionally manipulative. How do I address?

My partner read last week's FPP about emotional manipulators. He says that while he does not want to imply this is me at all times, it resonated, particularly this article. The internet is replete with advice on how to spot manipulators and get them out of your lives. It has little on how to stop it in yourself. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 5, 2015 - 47 answers

How do I not want a relationship?

How can I become satisfied enough by non-relationship pursuits that a relationship no longer feels necessary? Using "relationship" to mean a romantic relationship, here. [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Nov 4, 2015 - 20 answers

In matters of love, do you let the head rule over the heart?

In a relationship that is heading towards marriage, how do you decide on how much to compromise on? Does being practical trump being emotional when in a relationship? How do you make big life decisions? [more inside]
posted by rippersid on Nov 3, 2015 - 83 answers

Help us find a sex therapist in the Twin Cities

Wife and I recognize that we need outside help, but aren't sure how to find it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2015 - 2 answers

When the past is present

I'm coming to terms with some things that have happened to me and I seriously *need* to see what healthy, well-adjusted members of the public can tell me: [more inside]
posted by a knot unknown on Nov 2, 2015 - 28 answers

Should I get back together with my ex a third time?

Even asking the question seems ridiculous. I can't shake the feeling that it isn't a good idea. Short version: we've broken up twice because he's emotionally unavailable, but we can't stay away from each other, probably because I tend towards codependency? Complications within! [more inside]
posted by Automocar on Nov 2, 2015 - 32 answers

Please help me break up with my boyfriend. I'm a wimp.

I've been with my long distance boyfriend for almost 3 years. He's not making time for me anymore. I love him but I'm scared that I'm wasting my 20s. Please help me break up with this ghost of a man. I am also a special snowflake who crumples easily. [more inside]
posted by Owlie on Nov 2, 2015 - 26 answers

Asked him not to sleep with other people, received bizarre response

I asked the guy I've been seeing for a few months not to sleep with other people. He freaked out and refused to answer, but is now messaging me like everything is completely normal. How do I respond? [more inside]
posted by Penguin48 on Oct 29, 2015 - 128 answers

Tricks for remembering names and context

I have a problem with remembering people's names. I've read previous posts on the topic and generally I can smilingly apologise and say, "Hey, I'm sorry but I am terrible with names." But my bigger problem is that I meet people in many contexts that don't overlap and all require various levels of professionalism. I don't mind apologising for forgetting their name, but to then add, "...and how do we know each other?" is veering into rudeness. Suggestions?
posted by tracicle on Oct 25, 2015 - 11 answers

I feel like an outsider, how to act?

There is a group of people at work that I occasionally hang out with in non-work time. I am not invited to most of that stuff. Few times I have bumped into some of them when they were on their way to bar/pub and got a last minute invite. Should I go anyway? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Oct 24, 2015 - 20 answers

Books about marriage

Can you recommend some books about marriage that have touched you in some way? Fiction or non fiction. [more inside]
posted by aeighty on Oct 23, 2015 - 39 answers

Why do guys put me on a pedestal, then friend-zone me?

Recently, I've been frustratingly "friend-zoned" by two guys who seemed to like me, how do I stop conflating platonic love with romantic love? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Oct 20, 2015 - 27 answers

A web of deceit and misdirection, or, how to ruin two relationships

I've been dating a lovely woman for almost 4 years this fall but, within the past year, have developed an on-again-off-again romantic relationship with a former coworker. I feel the later has developed to a point that it is make-or-break while the former continues along without hiccup. I have a huge number of conflicting feelings... [more inside]
posted by landofthefree on Oct 18, 2015 - 25 answers

Am I being unreasonable, or is my girlfriend right?

I'm male, mid 30s. I've been dating a woman (GF) close to my age for several weeks now. My best friend (BF) is female, early 30s. I have a camping trip coming up with BF (we do this semi-frequently). GF doesn't want me to go because "grown men in relationships don't go camping alone with other women". Is she right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 17, 2015 - 107 answers

How do I enjoy being single?

My ex moved out roughly 2 weeks ago. I'm feeling extremely sad and alone. How do I not jump into another relationship right away? [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Oct 16, 2015 - 20 answers

Can't love someone or just don't love someone? How do I fix this?

I have been a series of unsuccessful relationships where my feelings disappeared over time. I cannot feel love for my long term partner, but also no longer feel love for family members. I have a history of severe depression, which is clearly an issue, but am not currently feeling particularly depressed (by my own standards, if not those of most people). I don't know how to proceed in my current relationship, as I don't know if my feelings are masked, possibly recoverable or just gone forever. I have posted here before about other emotional issues, but I’m keeping this anonymous because the other threads would link this one back to me. The MeFi community was *amazing* last time. This is a much more complex issue, but I would still appreciate your views. Can I learn to love - my partner, myself, anyone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2015 - 8 answers

How much should I believe my PMS/PMDD?

I want to leave my life half of the month—is this the truth? Or is the truth the first half of the month, when things are basically fine? [more inside]
posted by Clotilde on Oct 15, 2015 - 22 answers

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