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2796 posts tagged with Relationships.
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How to cope with a long distance relationship & losing my independence?

I'm 21, I've been living in Canada for six months with my originally long distance partner and now I need to return home for financial and health reasons, leaving my girlfriend and new friends behind. I need advice and coping strategies to deal with a return to a long distance relationship with an unknown reunion date, returning home and then moving to a smaller house where I will have to share a room with my 18 year old brother for at least five months. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Feb 26, 2014 - 4 answers

Is this a very shallow reason for breakup?

I have been dating my girlfriend for couple of months. I think she is caring and very smart. I have two problems with her that to me seem very shallow however it seems that they still matter to me. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on Feb 25, 2014 - 50 answers

This indecision's bugging me

For the past two and a half years, I've been in a relationship with a Very Nice Man. We are both in our early 40s, and when we met we had both recently left much longer relationships, although neither of us came straight into this. We own our own houses, and neither of us has kids, although we do have pets. So we're fairly stable, with few obvious complications. The Little Big Words were said long ago and are repeated sometimes, and he describes the relationship as serious. There are no significant problems in the relationship, and things are always good when we're together. So what could possibly be wrong? [more inside]
posted by sockasm on Feb 24, 2014 - 33 answers

How to break a cycle of inaction and resentment?

For most of my young adult and now adult life, I'm having more and more difficulty taking control of the resentment that seems to build up as the result of my inability to communicate. I'm not sure if there's an overlap between the two, but I can't remember a time when I'd feel one without the other. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 19, 2014 - 16 answers

Great expectations? Maybe.

Single. Male. 30. Only child. Hetero. I don't feel the need to get married and/or my expectations of my ideal future spouse are keeping me that way? Too smart and objective for my own good? Normal or am I destined to be forever alone? [more inside]
posted by rippersid on Feb 18, 2014 - 26 answers

Age is just a number...?

Me (female): 24. Him: 19. I can tell he likes me; I feel confused and feel like I'm leading him on. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 25 answers

What can I do about severe sexual incompatibility?

I have a high sex drive, my partner has a low sex drive. This incompatibility is making me depressed to the point that I feel like I can't stay in the relationship, despite everything else between us being really, really great. I don't know what my options are or what I can do to try and work with this. [more inside]
posted by Vrai on Feb 15, 2014 - 33 answers

Is this just summer-fall-winter-spring-summer-fall-winter-spring love?

Struggling with my boyfriend's apparent lack of effort in our relationship, but I'm not sure if it's worth trying to work though, because he won't discuss if he have a future together. [more inside]
posted by hasna on Feb 12, 2014 - 39 answers

Connecting And Building A Mentor Relationship

I am currently in my late twenties finishing my degree in Information Technology. I live in a large city. I'm a sociable person. My question is, not working in the professional environment, how could I find a professional mentor? How do you recommend someone build such a relationship? Any ideas? .... There are industry related conferences within the area which I sometimes attend. Professors seem like an option. But what steps should I take to form such a relationship? Is it something you would ask for explicitly?.... I'd just like to thank the community in advance for your feedback. It's been something I'd like to do, but due to uncertainty in how to go about it I haven't. Thanks!
posted by Nicholas Geary on Feb 12, 2014 - 8 answers

How do you untangle the threads of a beat-up heart?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 11, 2014 - 18 answers

How do you stop thinking of something that still hurts?

If you've decided to let something go in a relationship, how do you get past it while it still hurts you? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Feb 8, 2014 - 21 answers

Relationship Meetings: good idea or bad idea or terrible awful idea?

I have scheduled a relationship check-in with my long-term partner (a State of the Union, as per Pervocracy) only now I'm worried that it's just going to make things worse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 5, 2014 - 30 answers

How even does one "take it slow" in a relationship? Teach me!

I broke off a long-term relationship recently, and I want that to not screw it up with a new guy I'm super excited about! [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Feb 4, 2014 - 12 answers

Procedural/ethical question that may sound like a relationship question

This is a financial/procedural/ethical question, not a relationship question. My SO and I recently bought a house together. The loan is in SO's name, because we got a better rate that way. SO is therefore the official owner right now. Our verbal agreement upon commencing the search for a house, and what we both decided was fair, was that my name would be added to the deed after we closed. We also talked about what we'd do if we split up, and we agreed that one would buy the other out, or we'd split the money from the sale of the home (minus our individual contributions to the down payment). We've moved in, and in typical fashion, haven't gotten around to the deed bit. Actual question after the jump. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 29, 2014 - 23 answers

Intelligent resources about stages of a long-term relationship

I'd like to learn a little bit more about what couples counselors, therapists, and psychologists have written about the stages that long-term relationships go through, what the issues and concerns are in the different stages, and what approaches are helpful in keeping the relationship strong at different stages. The articles I've been able to find on the web are pretty shallow, and seem to assume that the purpose of marriage is to have kids. I'd like to find something that is more appropriate to a couple who got married at 40+ so have already attained (presumably) a certain degree of wisdom, and for whom kids are not in the picture or in the cards. Authors that I have found helpful and intelligent in the past have been Gottman, Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight), and the author of perennial AskMe favorite The Five Love Languages. I'm specifically interested in the 5-10 year stage, but welcome broader surveys as well.
posted by matildaben on Jan 29, 2014 - 5 answers

Let's shack up?

I want to ask my boyfriend if he'd like to move in together for mostly practical reasons, but I'm not sure if I should ask or be patient. Lots of snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by gumtree on Jan 27, 2014 - 32 answers

Just another question about a possibly-doomed relationship.

I'm feeling very taken for granted by my boyfriend and I don't know what to do about it. Is this relationship doomed. [more inside]
posted by Lillypad331 on Jan 27, 2014 - 45 answers

How do I handle destination wedding money stress?

A friend of my girlfriend's is getting married in Asia over Christmas 2014. She's planning to go, and wants me to accompany her (and, money aside, I'd like to go). She'll be upset and disappointed if I don't, and is already upset and disappointed that I'm balking. She makes enough money to afford the trip without financial contortions, and...I don't, or don't feel like I do. This is a recurring point of contention in our relationship, and, generally, I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable, she's being unreasonable, or a little bit of both. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2014 - 58 answers

choose: job and lifestyle OR friends and family

Which would you choose: a great job and lifestyle OR being close to your family and friends? Especially if you really can't have both at the same time...? [more inside]
posted by elizamina on Jan 25, 2014 - 33 answers

How do you balance your interests/passions with being in a relationship?

My significant other and I do not share many common hobbies/interests. I feel that the limited free time I have is going more into the relationship and less into pursuing my personal interests. Has anyone dealt with this situation successfully, or is a relationship without much hobby overlap doomed to fail? [more inside]
posted by Anon500 on Jan 23, 2014 - 25 answers

Detaching whilst staying

How does one practice detachment in a codependent, anxiety-rich relationship? How can I be the husband my wife needs me to be whilst also getting what I need? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jan 22, 2014 - 47 answers

Is it normal for your friends to make snide comments about your SO?

I've lost 2 different friends because I've asked them to stop making snide remarks about someone I was dating. It makes me wonder if this is normal in friendships and I should just suck it up? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jan 19, 2014 - 36 answers

Mixed Signals

I've been spending all my time with this awesome girl but she's sending extremely mixed signals and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2014 - 29 answers

How to be supportive when you're really worried about the future?

My husband is miserable at his job and would like to change. This will likely mean a cut in our income and taking on more debt for him to go to school. How can I be more supportive when I worry about the change in our financial circumstances? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2014 - 48 answers

It's been a long, long time coming...

My relationship is great, with one small problem - no matter what my girlfriend and I try, I'm not having an orgasm. Oversharing details inside... [more inside]
posted by Ed The Sock on Jan 12, 2014 - 30 answers

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ”

Met a great guy that I fell in love with just when I thought I never would again! Now how do I tell him I've never had an orgasm with him, that I want to do something about it, and that I was faking the ones I "did have" for the first half of our relationship? Sordid details inside! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 10, 2014 - 17 answers

I'm asking you a question.

I need help thinking of a response to this. [more inside]
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper on Jan 10, 2014 - 60 answers

Advice for living with/loving a first year high school teacher.

My girlfriend, domestic partner and hopefully future spouse is a first year English teacher at a public high school in NYC. This is a tough job which takes a huge emotional and physical toll on her. She looks to me for support and sometimes I have a hard time knowing how to provide it to the point of feeling powerless to help her. Has anybody here been on either side of this? Any advice? [more inside]
posted by West of House on Jan 10, 2014 - 29 answers

Just not into him or fears from the past? 35f ponders marriage, again.

TL/DR: My BF (30) and I have been together a year and 1/2. Moved too fast for me, and him too in retrospect. Never got on my own feet after bad divorce and that feeling has endured the length of my current relationship. Close friend and 1000000 people on Meta suggest breaking up. But...I panic at that, too. [more inside]
posted by dollyllama on Jan 9, 2014 - 25 answers

Trying to live happily ever after, after an affair. But with a twist.

I love my boyfriend dearly and we have had a very strong exclusive relationship for over a year now. However, we started as an affair while he was married. I am still struggling with the guilt I have over this. Are there any resources out there for helping people deal with the aftermath of the affair when the couple is now the husband and the mistress and not the husband and wife? [more inside]
posted by Argyle Sock Puppet on Jan 9, 2014 - 45 answers

SO's Sick mother- not sure how to deal with her asking my SO to move in

I come from an abusive family where illness was often used an an excuse to mistreat people. For example, my mother would emotionally abuse my father and I and then say it was because she was sick and that we had to learn to deal with it. My SO just moved from another city to be with me and two months in his mother is asking him to move back home for her hip replacement surgery "until she can drive." I am finding this very stressful. [more inside]
posted by ponytime on Jan 6, 2014 - 34 answers

You're in my blood like holy wine, you taste so bitter and so sweet

I can't seem to get over my ex and I'm worried that I never will. Is that possible? It feels like I'm grieving something heavier than the loss of a relationship. [more inside]
posted by caseofyou on Jan 5, 2014 - 30 answers

How can I create a healthy relationship with my soon-to-be stepmother?

My dad is getting married to a woman with whom he's had a very tumultuous, difficult relationship. They are moving across the country together, and I'm scared. Lots more details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2014 - 25 answers

Am I being strung along or is he just scared and taking it slow?

I need advice about my boyfriend: I think I might be being strung along, but can't tell. [more inside]
posted by Butterflye1010 on Jan 4, 2014 - 29 answers

Girl of my dreams and I decided to not do long distance when shes abroad

Girl I've been dating for a few months, who is perfect for me, has left to go abroad for 10 months. We decided not to do long distance but to keep in close contact. I'm planning to visit her. I'm in this grey area where we are in an unlabeled, romantic friendship and care deeply about each other but due to distance and uncertainty of the future, we can't commit. I'm just scared we are going to lose our amazing connection and fall apart, so I need some perspective on how to keep close and be as intimate as possible in the face of this distance, and the freedom to date other people. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2014 - 15 answers

Grieving - my boyfriend was supportive but has become unsympathetic?

My boyfriend has gone from being supportive to unsupportive/critical of me in a short space of time. [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Dec 28, 2013 - 37 answers

Help me find hope that things will get better

Things just keep getting worse and I don't know what to do. Please see extended explanation. [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Dec 28, 2013 - 14 answers

Is there hope after cheating?

I severely fumbled with my boyfriend's heart. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on Dec 24, 2013 - 30 answers

Can We Be Friends?

I had a sort-of breakup recently, and I'm wondering whether I should move forward as friends or never speak to this guy again. [more inside]
posted by cscott on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

Messy Breakup Advice

I'm trying to make a full break from my significant other. Things get messy because we currently share a home, I feel that he is verbally and borderline physically abusive, and I am expecting a baby in about 8 weeks. I have been intermitently sleeping in hotels or couch surfing, but am having trouble sleeping well. My significant other SAYS he has moved out so I have a quiet place to stay while trying to find alternative housing, but would you go back? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on Dec 23, 2013 - 24 answers

Facebook etiquette for what is basically, a year-long vacation?

After years of saving and planning, I've been able to realize my dream of traveling the world for a year. I'm 6 months into my trip and I've been posting photos or updates about where I am in the world on facebook about 2 or 3 times a week. While many people have expressed appreciation for the updates or interest in what I'm doing, I've noticed about 7-10 friends who used to interact with me all the time on FB and real life have totally stopped liking/commenting/sending messages although they're still very active on the site. I kind of suspect some of them have blocked me from their timelines. I know not everyone will have an opportunity like this and I try to be sensitive to that. I'm not preachy about "the importance of travel", or posting pics of 5 star hotel rooms and fancy restaurants (I'm doing this as cheaply as possible, mostly hostels in developing countries and couchsurfing.) At the same time I LOVE seeing others' travel pics and, well, want to share some of the exciting, amazing things I'm experiencing with people in my life. But some people seem put off by this, so I'm wondering - am I being a jerk? What's the etiquette here?
posted by horizons on Dec 20, 2013 - 55 answers

How to best deal with a despised close friend of my SO?

For reasons that I find entirely justifiable, I despise one of my significant other's closest friends. Until recently, we have gotten along, and although he treats his girlfriend terribly and frequently complains about their relationship to my SO and me, I thought he was just unhappy in his relationship, and dismissed it. Recent events have brought to light that, not only does he dislike me deep down, it appears he genuinely thinks of women in general as nothing more than inconsequential beasts with breasts that somehow continue to exists despite their obvious stupidity and inability to do anything of value. Obviously this revelation makes me a little uncomfortable with the idea of he and my SO cavorting about together without me being around to deter the "I hate women" diatribe. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by Quincy on Dec 19, 2013 - 32 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

How to interact with an unfamiliar new resident in my parents home?

A lovely, college-aged young woman who has had a very rough year is coming to live with my parents, whom I visit several times a year, often for extended periods of time (I live 900 miles away, but I'm a student with long vacations). I think this is great. However, I feel a little at sea for how to interact with her, and to prepare for this change, especially given the giant elephant in the room: the horrible event that happened which has caused her to need a new home. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 17, 2013 - 31 answers

Boyfriend & I have blow out fights every so often - what's going on?

We've been together for 6 months and things have generally been lovely. But on two occasions now we've had two big fights with a similar theme. [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Dec 15, 2013 - 49 answers

Pulling the plug on my LDR, because meh?

I am become rather obsessed with the idea that I want more from a relationship and might need to end this one. Should I? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2013 - 13 answers

The ex is reaching out...

A few years ago, my ex started avoiding me due to his new girlfriend not being okay with us hanging out. We have a lot of mutual friends, and this created a very awkward social dynamic for the last three years. He recently reached out to me via email and I'm not sure how to respond... [more inside]
posted by ohmy on Dec 13, 2013 - 32 answers

so much for trip of a lifetime

In a few hours I'm about to board a flight that was supposed to include my girlfriend. except she broke up with me last month and now I'm flying alone and demoralized. How do I not make this trip suck more than it already does? [more inside]
posted by divabat on Dec 11, 2013 - 10 answers

What is an actual "dealbreaker" when it comes to relationships?

I met a wonderful man. He is kind, loving, smart, generous, funny, encouraging and we have unbeatable chemistry and honest communication. On one hand, I'm trying to be in the moment and enjoy this process (about six weeks in now). On the other hand, I'm thinking about the future. I'm a firm believer in gut instincts. When I hit it off with someone, it's often instant and has lead to some long and meaningful relationships. I also have a bad habit of overlooking issues. I've never ended a relationship. We have a great time when we're together and see one another often (5-6 times a week). Things have progressed really quickly and I feel confident in what we've established in terms of labels and exclusivity. I have no doubt of how he feels about me, nor of how I feel about him. But. He is in a very precarious financial and living situation. He's a freelancer who often goes weeks with very little/no money. He's helping friends with their business, so as of now has a free place to stay, but that too is a potentially temporary agreement. He has no interest in taking a job just for a paycheck. [more inside]
posted by patientpatient on Dec 8, 2013 - 42 answers

Why am I experiencing so many new sexual problems in my early 30's?

I've been dating my girlfriend for about two years and we've been living together (with her five year old son) for about four months. Over the last six months or so, I've had several new sexual problems that I've never experienced before. I ejaculate very quickly after penetration, my refractory period is so long that I'm basically "one and done," and my libido has decreased. I'm still very attracted to my girlfriend, and she can still turn me on, but I also have more days when I'd be perfectly happy to cuddle up and watch a movie instead of having sex, which is completely unlike how I felt a year or so ago. I'm not THAT old, and all the other parts of my relationship are going extremely well. Why am I experiencing these problems, and what can I do to solve them? [more inside]
posted by Chuck Barris on Dec 7, 2013 - 11 answers

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