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How do I talk to my girlfriend about occasional crossdressing?

I'm a 30-ish heterosexual cis-male in a long-term relationship with an awesome woman. We've been together for about four years, have lived together for about three of those and I think we're both pretty happy with it. I want to talk to her about the fact that I sometimes like to dress in women's clothing and would like to get your opinions on how to approach that conversation. Snowflakey details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 30, 2014 - 38 answers

Looking for good relationship movies

What movies should I watch to learn what healthy intimate relationships look like? [more inside]
posted by macinchik on Mar 28, 2014 - 45 answers

Am I depressed or discontented with life in general?

Lengthy, but I would so appreciate helpful perspectives. For some time there have been certain 'unhappy' factors in my life that I have been able to manage - but almost a week ago something seemed to trigger crisis mode and I have felt very low and almost completely unable to shake the feeling since. [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Mar 26, 2014 - 16 answers

Can this relationship be saved?

He's a doll ... who mocks religion, has a lazy, entitled child and is impatient. [more inside]
posted by nubianinthedesert on Mar 25, 2014 - 54 answers

Reccomend some games / activities I can play with my Long Distance Girl

My girlfriend is currently 3000 miles away for the next 2 months and neither of us are naturally that talkative so our skype chats tend to just peter out at the end, when we would both like to spend more time together. We are looking for suggestions for 2 player games or activities we can play/do together online or over skype while we are chatting. ios or online games only (we don't have gaming computers with fancy gfx cards). Ideally things that are easy to understand and accessible for non-gamers but deep enough they will keep our interest over several play sessions.
posted by Another Fine Product From The Nonsense Factory on Mar 24, 2014 - 9 answers

ain't 2 proud 2 beg

I have a wonderful relationship with my boyfriend. We are both mid-thirties; have discussed marriage and kids and are on the same page;we live together; and things are great. Except for one thing - I initiate sex most of the time and want it more. I know the next part is not right, but, me initiating things all of the time makes me feel bad. I know it is a stereotype to expect men to be wanting to have sex more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 23, 2014 - 9 answers

"I love you" 1) What does it mean? 2) When do you say it? 3) To whom?

I'm curious. What's the normal meaning? What's your meaning? Do you have expectations associated with saying it/what expectations? My details inside. [more inside]
posted by chrysanthemum on Mar 14, 2014 - 24 answers

I feel unable to participate in a normal, healthy dating relationship.

I am 34 years old, and for the first time in my life, I am embarking on a 'normal' relationship. My insecurities are causing me extreme anxiety, and I'd like your stories and insight and tips on what I might be being realistic about, and what I'm not. Apologies for a long explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2014 - 30 answers

How can I be less needy?

My about 15-year marriage is in severe difficulty. A big part of this is me being too needy. My wife and I knew I was needy before we got married, but both thought that getting married would fix it. It hasn't. I'm taking an antidepressant, and we are in therapy and both committed to staying together. I've read some other answers on AskMi, and am following up with some book recommendations, but I feel like I need more help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2014 - 29 answers

How to best break up with my girlfriend?

I am strongly considering breaking up with my girlfriend, but I haven't done this for a while and want to do the right thing. I value both honesty/truth and kindness. I know that sometimes the truth hurts a lot and may scar people psychologically, so I am looking for guidance on how to toe the line between being respectfully honest and condescendingly protective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2014 - 26 answers

Insecurity over partner's ex-boyfriend who dumped her

I've been with my girlfriend for just over a year, and we are really in love. A few months into the relationship I discovered some diaries etc of her, which I know I should never have read, but did. I discovered how obsessed she was for years about an ex that dumped her and who she idealised, and now I really need some help to get out of this rut of insecurity and jealousy which I have created for myself. [more inside]
posted by lichen on Mar 6, 2014 - 32 answers

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, UFOs, human pair bonding?

Is talking early on in a relationship about "not believing in monogamy" a huge red flag? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 5, 2014 - 60 answers

Keep trying or give it up?

Is this relationship viable? Should I keep trying, or is it probably not workable? [more inside]
posted by the second sock on Mar 4, 2014 - 39 answers

I don't know what I want, but it shouldn't be this hard

Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 3, 2014 - 25 answers

How to cope with a long distance relationship & losing my independence?

I'm 21, I've been living in Canada for six months with my originally long distance partner and now I need to return home for financial and health reasons, leaving my girlfriend and new friends behind. I need advice and coping strategies to deal with a return to a long distance relationship with an unknown reunion date, returning home and then moving to a smaller house where I will have to share a room with my 18 year old brother for at least five months. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Feb 26, 2014 - 4 answers

Is this a very shallow reason for breakup?

I have been dating my girlfriend for couple of months. I think she is caring and very smart. I have two problems with her that to me seem very shallow however it seems that they still matter to me. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on Feb 25, 2014 - 50 answers

This indecision's bugging me

For the past two and a half years, I've been in a relationship with a Very Nice Man. We are both in our early 40s, and when we met we had both recently left much longer relationships, although neither of us came straight into this. We own our own houses, and neither of us has kids, although we do have pets. So we're fairly stable, with few obvious complications. The Little Big Words were said long ago and are repeated sometimes, and he describes the relationship as serious. There are no significant problems in the relationship, and things are always good when we're together. So what could possibly be wrong? [more inside]
posted by sockasm on Feb 24, 2014 - 33 answers

How to break a cycle of inaction and resentment?

For most of my young adult and now adult life, I'm having more and more difficulty taking control of the resentment that seems to build up as the result of my inability to communicate. I'm not sure if there's an overlap between the two, but I can't remember a time when I'd feel one without the other. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 19, 2014 - 16 answers

Great expectations? Maybe.

Single. Male. 30. Only child. Hetero. I don't feel the need to get married and/or my expectations of my ideal future spouse are keeping me that way? Too smart and objective for my own good? Normal or am I destined to be forever alone? [more inside]
posted by rippersid on Feb 18, 2014 - 26 answers

Age is just a number...?

Me (female): 24. Him: 19. I can tell he likes me; I feel confused and feel like I'm leading him on. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2014 - 25 answers

What can I do about severe sexual incompatibility?

I have a high sex drive, my partner has a low sex drive. This incompatibility is making me depressed to the point that I feel like I can't stay in the relationship, despite everything else between us being really, really great. I don't know what my options are or what I can do to try and work with this. [more inside]
posted by Vrai on Feb 15, 2014 - 33 answers

Is this just summer-fall-winter-spring-summer-fall-winter-spring love?

Struggling with my boyfriend's apparent lack of effort in our relationship, but I'm not sure if it's worth trying to work though, because he won't discuss if he have a future together. [more inside]
posted by hasna on Feb 12, 2014 - 39 answers

Connecting And Building A Mentor Relationship

I am currently in my late twenties finishing my degree in Information Technology. I live in a large city. I'm a sociable person. My question is, not working in the professional environment, how could I find a professional mentor? How do you recommend someone build such a relationship? Any ideas? .... There are industry related conferences within the area which I sometimes attend. Professors seem like an option. But what steps should I take to form such a relationship? Is it something you would ask for explicitly?.... I'd just like to thank the community in advance for your feedback. It's been something I'd like to do, but due to uncertainty in how to go about it I haven't. Thanks!
posted by Nicholas Geary on Feb 12, 2014 - 8 answers

How do you untangle the threads of a beat-up heart?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 11, 2014 - 18 answers

How do you stop thinking of something that still hurts?

If you've decided to let something go in a relationship, how do you get past it while it still hurts you? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Feb 8, 2014 - 21 answers

Relationship Meetings: good idea or bad idea or terrible awful idea?

I have scheduled a relationship check-in with my long-term partner (a State of the Union, as per Pervocracy) only now I'm worried that it's just going to make things worse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 5, 2014 - 30 answers

How even does one "take it slow" in a relationship? Teach me!

I broke off a long-term relationship recently, and I want that to not screw it up with a new guy I'm super excited about! [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Feb 4, 2014 - 12 answers

Procedural/ethical question that may sound like a relationship question

This is a financial/procedural/ethical question, not a relationship question. My SO and I recently bought a house together. The loan is in SO's name, because we got a better rate that way. SO is therefore the official owner right now. Our verbal agreement upon commencing the search for a house, and what we both decided was fair, was that my name would be added to the deed after we closed. We also talked about what we'd do if we split up, and we agreed that one would buy the other out, or we'd split the money from the sale of the home (minus our individual contributions to the down payment). We've moved in, and in typical fashion, haven't gotten around to the deed bit. Actual question after the jump. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 29, 2014 - 23 answers

Intelligent resources about stages of a long-term relationship

I'd like to learn a little bit more about what couples counselors, therapists, and psychologists have written about the stages that long-term relationships go through, what the issues and concerns are in the different stages, and what approaches are helpful in keeping the relationship strong at different stages. The articles I've been able to find on the web are pretty shallow, and seem to assume that the purpose of marriage is to have kids. I'd like to find something that is more appropriate to a couple who got married at 40+ so have already attained (presumably) a certain degree of wisdom, and for whom kids are not in the picture or in the cards. Authors that I have found helpful and intelligent in the past have been Gottman, Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight), and the author of perennial AskMe favorite The Five Love Languages. I'm specifically interested in the 5-10 year stage, but welcome broader surveys as well.
posted by matildaben on Jan 29, 2014 - 5 answers

Let's shack up?

I want to ask my boyfriend if he'd like to move in together for mostly practical reasons, but I'm not sure if I should ask or be patient. Lots of snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by gumtree on Jan 27, 2014 - 32 answers

Just another question about a possibly-doomed relationship.

I'm feeling very taken for granted by my boyfriend and I don't know what to do about it. Is this relationship doomed. [more inside]
posted by Lillypad331 on Jan 27, 2014 - 45 answers

How do I handle destination wedding money stress?

A friend of my girlfriend's is getting married in Asia over Christmas 2014. She's planning to go, and wants me to accompany her (and, money aside, I'd like to go). She'll be upset and disappointed if I don't, and is already upset and disappointed that I'm balking. She makes enough money to afford the trip without financial contortions, and...I don't, or don't feel like I do. This is a recurring point of contention in our relationship, and, generally, I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable, she's being unreasonable, or a little bit of both. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2014 - 58 answers

choose: job and lifestyle OR friends and family

Which would you choose: a great job and lifestyle OR being close to your family and friends? Especially if you really can't have both at the same time...? [more inside]
posted by elizamina on Jan 25, 2014 - 33 answers

How do you balance your interests/passions with being in a relationship?

My significant other and I do not share many common hobbies/interests. I feel that the limited free time I have is going more into the relationship and less into pursuing my personal interests. Has anyone dealt with this situation successfully, or is a relationship without much hobby overlap doomed to fail? [more inside]
posted by Anon500 on Jan 23, 2014 - 25 answers

Detaching whilst staying

How does one practice detachment in a codependent, anxiety-rich relationship? How can I be the husband my wife needs me to be whilst also getting what I need? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jan 22, 2014 - 47 answers

Is it normal for your friends to make snide comments about your SO?

I've lost 2 different friends because I've asked them to stop making snide remarks about someone I was dating. It makes me wonder if this is normal in friendships and I should just suck it up? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on Jan 19, 2014 - 36 answers

Mixed Signals

I've been spending all my time with this awesome girl but she's sending extremely mixed signals and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 17, 2014 - 29 answers

How to be supportive when you're really worried about the future?

My husband is miserable at his job and would like to change. This will likely mean a cut in our income and taking on more debt for him to go to school. How can I be more supportive when I worry about the change in our financial circumstances? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2014 - 48 answers

It's been a long, long time coming...

My relationship is great, with one small problem - no matter what my girlfriend and I try, I'm not having an orgasm. Oversharing details inside... [more inside]
posted by Ed The Sock on Jan 12, 2014 - 30 answers

“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ”

Met a great guy that I fell in love with just when I thought I never would again! Now how do I tell him I've never had an orgasm with him, that I want to do something about it, and that I was faking the ones I "did have" for the first half of our relationship? Sordid details inside! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 10, 2014 - 17 answers

I'm asking you a question.

I need help thinking of a response to this. [more inside]
posted by Enchanting Grasshopper on Jan 10, 2014 - 60 answers

Advice for living with/loving a first year high school teacher.

My girlfriend, domestic partner and hopefully future spouse is a first year English teacher at a public high school in NYC. This is a tough job which takes a huge emotional and physical toll on her. She looks to me for support and sometimes I have a hard time knowing how to provide it to the point of feeling powerless to help her. Has anybody here been on either side of this? Any advice? [more inside]
posted by West of House on Jan 10, 2014 - 29 answers

Just not into him or fears from the past? 35f ponders marriage, again.

TL/DR: My BF (30) and I have been together a year and 1/2. Moved too fast for me, and him too in retrospect. Never got on my own feet after bad divorce and that feeling has endured the length of my current relationship. Close friend and 1000000 people on Meta suggest breaking up. But...I panic at that, too. [more inside]
posted by dollyllama on Jan 9, 2014 - 25 answers

Trying to live happily ever after, after an affair. But with a twist.

I love my boyfriend dearly and we have had a very strong exclusive relationship for over a year now. However, we started as an affair while he was married. I am still struggling with the guilt I have over this. Are there any resources out there for helping people deal with the aftermath of the affair when the couple is now the husband and the mistress and not the husband and wife? [more inside]
posted by Argyle Sock Puppet on Jan 9, 2014 - 45 answers

SO's Sick mother- not sure how to deal with her asking my SO to move in

I come from an abusive family where illness was often used an an excuse to mistreat people. For example, my mother would emotionally abuse my father and I and then say it was because she was sick and that we had to learn to deal with it. My SO just moved from another city to be with me and two months in his mother is asking him to move back home for her hip replacement surgery "until she can drive." I am finding this very stressful. [more inside]
posted by ponytime on Jan 6, 2014 - 34 answers

You're in my blood like holy wine, you taste so bitter and so sweet

I can't seem to get over my ex and I'm worried that I never will. Is that possible? It feels like I'm grieving something heavier than the loss of a relationship. [more inside]
posted by caseofyou on Jan 5, 2014 - 30 answers

How can I create a healthy relationship with my soon-to-be stepmother?

My dad is getting married to a woman with whom he's had a very tumultuous, difficult relationship. They are moving across the country together, and I'm scared. Lots more details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2014 - 25 answers

Am I being strung along or is he just scared and taking it slow?

I need advice about my boyfriend: I think I might be being strung along, but can't tell. [more inside]
posted by Butterflye1010 on Jan 4, 2014 - 29 answers

Girl of my dreams and I decided to not do long distance when shes abroad

Girl I've been dating for a few months, who is perfect for me, has left to go abroad for 10 months. We decided not to do long distance but to keep in close contact. I'm planning to visit her. I'm in this grey area where we are in an unlabeled, romantic friendship and care deeply about each other but due to distance and uncertainty of the future, we can't commit. I'm just scared we are going to lose our amazing connection and fall apart, so I need some perspective on how to keep close and be as intimate as possible in the face of this distance, and the freedom to date other people. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 3, 2014 - 15 answers

Grieving - my boyfriend was supportive but has become unsympathetic?

My boyfriend has gone from being supportive to unsupportive/critical of me in a short space of time. [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Dec 28, 2013 - 37 answers

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