2968 posts tagged with Relationships.
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Can I still take you up on that offer? From friends to FWB...

A friend and I once discussed an exclusive FWB arrangement, which I declined since I was only looking for a serious relationship at the time. Two years later, my situation has changed and I'd like to test the waters. Should I bring up the subject again? If so, how? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 6, 2015 - 15 answers

Help me survive BFE without too much misery

Partner lives and works in a rural area of the country. I have lived in cities all of my adult life. The area where he lives is beautiful, but services of all kinds are limited. It's also very conservative, and we are not. But due to circumstances to be explained, I've committed to living there for at least 3 years. Please give me your tips and suggestions for making rural life work so that I can continue to see this as an adventure and not something to resent! [more inside]
posted by sorrygottago on Jun 5, 2015 - 29 answers

It was a dream, then got hit with a huge dose of reality. Can we fix it?

My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend? Something in between?) and I fell in love and saw us building a future together. Then chaos erupted with his work and put a strain on us and our relationship. After months of waiting, he has a new position that he has become obsessed with and our relationship was put on the back burner. We still love each other and don't want to walk away completely, so we are currently on a break and I'm confused about where to go from here. (Deeply apologetic for the length, but I wanted to paint the most accurate picture possible... ) [more inside]
posted by heathergro on Jun 5, 2015 - 23 answers

My wonderful Mr. Right sucks in bed and I don't know how to tell him

I am in love with my wonderful boyfriend of 3 months. The only problem is that he doesn't seem to care that I am not having ANY orgasms with him, he's not into oral sex (the only thing that has worked for me in the past), he's not into foreplay, he barely kisses me, and he doesn't even realize that I'm unhappy because I am too wimpy and unassertive to voice a word of complaint. He's a very macho "alpha male" old-fashioned chivalrous type and I am afraid to emasculate him by giving him directions in the bedroom or telling him that I'm not satisfied. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 3, 2015 - 55 answers

How to keep some mystery and spark in a LTR ?

I've been dating my boyfriend for five months and we are head over heels for each other. For a myriad of reasons I want to spend less time with him. [more inside]
posted by pintapicasso on Jun 1, 2015 - 12 answers

Addressing non-dealbreaker behavior in relationships

I've had issues with being assertive about my needs in past relationships, and while I've gotten a lot better, I still have trouble deciding when and how it's best to bring up things that I don't like but are not dealbreakers. I'd like help thinking this through. [more inside]
posted by deus ex machina on May 31, 2015 - 7 answers

How do I meet men now?

I'm a straight, overweight but otherwise generally considered attractive, woman in her early 40's. I got out of a LTR a year and a half ago. I am more than ready to date, but having major problems finding anyone interested :( [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2015 - 25 answers

In sickness and in strain?

How do you know when a relationship is 'tough' and 'hard work' or when it's harming you and warrants walking away? [more inside]
posted by Vrai on May 27, 2015 - 25 answers

Tips for keeping a relationship healthy for a year of LDR

My girlfriend of 1.5 years will be leaving for Japan for a full year for grad school stuff very soon. I'm looking for tips for keeping things healthy while we're long distance. As always, snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by Hactar on May 27, 2015 - 12 answers

Is my boyfriend not treating me kindly?

So I've been in a relationship for 7 months now. I am 22 (female) and he is 25. The other day I got a flat tire on my way to work right after I left his house (2 miles away from his house) and called him because I wasn't sure how to change my tire. I'd never had a flat and never learned how. He seemed very irritated and told me to try to figure it out and call me if I couldn't. Should I be angry that he didn't just come help me? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 26, 2015 - 103 answers

I hate everybody else's relationships

I don't know if this is a life stage thing or a terrible personality flaw or what, but I find myself feeling contemptuous of others' relationships, even though it's 100% none of my business. I want to stop this. [more inside]
posted by fernweh on May 25, 2015 - 19 answers

Should I end my relationship, and if so how?

I (26f) have been with my boyfriend (28m) for 6 years. I've always had doubts in the back of my mind and am thinking about ending things for the 3rd time in 2 years. Am I making the right decision, and how do I go about it? [more inside]
posted by Satsue on May 24, 2015 - 23 answers

Should I believe a 40+ man who says he doesn't believe in marriage?

I've been dating a never-married man in his early 40s for the past few months. (I'm a decade younger.) Last night he casually mentioned that he never wants to get married and would be fine with raising kids without marriage -- just as HE was raised, as the only child of an unmarried mother. I am devastated because I am falling in love with him but cannot accept this commitment-free future. Should I get out now or endeavor to change his mind down the road? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on May 23, 2015 - 60 answers

Family abandon me when I was at my lowest point. Should I cut them off?

My mother passed away last year of April and as a result I had a mental breakdown. I wasn't myself..I had overwhelming grief and I was in a deep depression. Mind you I was in a deep depression and calling out for help..my family abandon and basically treated me like a black sheep. [more inside]
posted by TheBronxGirl on May 21, 2015 - 31 answers

What to do about a nasty email sent to the wrong person?

My mentally ill mother likes to send me super mean emails every once in a while, which I don't usually reply to. I just discovered today that she has accidentally been sending emails to a random person with a similar email address to mine. I'm not sure what, if anything, I should do about it. [more inside]
posted by thelaze on May 20, 2015 - 27 answers

Should I ask my uncle about his Big Secret car crash from 50 years ago?

This AskMe from 2010 is me. When I wrote that, I had just heard about a car crash my uncle was allegedly in when he was in his early 20s, where he was driving and a passenger died. I never asked about the crash and a newspaper search didn't pull anything up at the time. But I recently stumbled upon an old newspaper article that confirmed it. I don't know what to do, or not do, with this information. He has never even hinted about anything like this. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 20, 2015 - 61 answers

Addressing the need for me-time in a LDR

My GF and I are currently long distance, though only for a short while longer. We're planning for me to visit her at the end of the month for four days. Due to manic work commitments and sickness, I was looking forward to having this (long) weekend to myself, but my GF has said that my not coming to visit has made her feel "not nurtured." I don't know how to address this in an adult fashion; advice is welcome (snowflakes abound…) [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on May 18, 2015 - 42 answers

Am I Too Fast Or Is He Too Slow? Or Both or Neither?

I recently met a man I dig, but I feel like he's being cryptic about his life. I'm not sure if I'm expecting him to open up too fast or if he is being too slow. Either way, do I cut my losses or wait and see? [more inside]
posted by mermaidcafe on May 14, 2015 - 21 answers

Am I hurting myself in the long run, or being a good friend?

I have posted some questions before about my first relationship and would like to get some advice on whether friendship is even the right thing now. I've had conflicted feelings the entire 5 1/2 years I've known this person, and am wondering what is the right thing to do? He says he needs my support because he finally came out but could we be friends or are we going to keep hurting each other? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on May 14, 2015 - 18 answers

How to not think about relationship troubles

I'm in a serious relationship that might be ending. How do I let myself not have constant anxious thoughts about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2015 - 8 answers

Am I being silly?

I'm having conflicting desires regarding my future. Is this a 'the grass is greener' scenario, or should I be making changes to my life? Complication: anxiety. [more inside]
posted by toerinishuman on May 11, 2015 - 15 answers

Is it time to move on?

My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years, we have talked about getting married for about year and he still has not asked. Should I be concerned? [more inside]
posted by jk9119 on May 8, 2015 - 62 answers

Just dumped. Super busy. Need tips on getting work done.

I was just dumped. I realize now I was a bad partner because I've been depressed. I have an appointment to see a therapist in a week but I'm having trouble figuring out how to get through and meeting my obligations for the next few days (I am not suicidal). [more inside]
posted by mcmile on May 7, 2015 - 13 answers

Am I a narcissist?

I really hope not and I think probably not, but if not, then what exactly? Not that I need an exact label, but I would love to hear some objective thoughts on this. [more inside]
posted by otterboxdefender on May 7, 2015 - 19 answers

How to keep track of names and faces to build relationships at a large c

Remembering who someone is has been a roadblock to successful networking in the past – but in my new job, I have more people to remember than ever. I’d like to know what you, as someone who also has trouble remembering names and faces, has done to keep track of a large network. I am not looking for mnemonic tricks to remember one or several specific names. I’m hoping more for something like “Everyone I meet goes in my electronic rolodex that I update with X information after each meeting.” [more inside]
posted by rebent on May 7, 2015 - 9 answers

How to cope with my terror of uncertainty in my mid-20s

How do I enjoy and make the most of my life, when it is so full of uncertainty? What are some strategies for tolerating and living with uncertainty, rather than being afraid of and fighting it? Details/specific situation inside [more inside]
posted by armadillo1224 on May 6, 2015 - 25 answers

My brain rejects any man who treats me well. Help!

I can stay attracted to emotionally or actually unavailable men for YEARS: but as soon as a guy starts treating me decently and wants to get serious, my brain starts picking him apart and I run away before I hurt him. How can I stop myself from thinking this way and ruining potentially great relationships? [more inside]
posted by libertypie on May 6, 2015 - 14 answers

What is sexual compatibility if libido is not a problem?

Trying to get over a recent Ex who I thought was perfect except for sexual compatibility. I'm trying to unpack this concept and get advice on whether different sexual styles (libido is not a problem) is a dealbreaker. There's no chance of getting him back, but it might help me move on. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on May 5, 2015 - 15 answers

My bf always asks if I'm okay, and it's frustrating.

I don't like being asked on such a regular basis (five times or more a day) if I'm okay. I just want to go about my normal activities and feel my normal range of emotions without having to be self-conscious about it. I know he means well, but I feel like if I'm not always smiling and outwardly placid -- like if I'm trying to find something in the house or concentrating intently on writing an email -- then something is wrong, the kind of wrong that I suddenly have to open up and talk about to placate his need to know if I'm okay. 98 percent of the time, I am fine. I'm not a naturally perky person, and I'm a bit introverted so my inner life is important to me. I've mentioned all this to him several times. How do I get him to stop?
posted by anonymous on May 3, 2015 - 42 answers

Why is this man who is totally out of my league pursuing me?

I dumped a guy who's totally out of my league. Now he is chasing me like there's no tomorrow. Why? And will it last? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 30, 2015 - 67 answers

How do i bring this up again without annoying him?

I posted a question prior to this a few weeks ago, and i need some more advice. [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue on Apr 25, 2015 - 28 answers

Should I ask for acknowledgement and apology?

For an almost 2 years, my wife and I were in a rough spot. She was very often angry, her anger was usually directed at me, and her anger often resulted in name-calling and sometimes worse. She never apologized for or acknowledged anything upsetting she said. As detailed 'inside,' this angry spiral ended abruptly (and surprisingly) after a medical intervention for an unrelated issue. Part of me very much wants to talk to her about this episode. I hope for apology and acknowledgement; I fear that it wouldn't be offered. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2015 - 40 answers

How do I know whether it's worth giving my relationship a shot?

I'm so confused about my relationship that I've taken to MeFi to ask for advice – any thoughts would be hugely appreciated. My boyfriend of almost one year is 29; I'm 34. He's kind, caring and all-round deeply lovely, we get on absolutely brilliantly, have loads in common and I feel incredibly comfortable and happy around him. Life is sweet. Except two not-so-tiny things: he's scared of commitment and doesn't ever want to talk about my ticking biological clock. How much time do I give this? [more inside]
posted by considerthelilies on Apr 21, 2015 - 67 answers

Should I give him an ultimatum?

My boyfriend of 10 months has hit some personal rough patches, that have created some rough spots in our relationship. At this point, this I've decided what are the deal breakers for me in this relationship but he doesn't know that. Should I tell him or would that be an ultimatum? [more inside]
posted by CosmicSeeker42 on Apr 19, 2015 - 50 answers

How can I get better at having eyes only for my fiancee?

I used to think it was OK to fantasize about other women as long as I wasn't emotionally or physically cheating. Fiancee did not, and we would both like me to be start being mentally faithful as well. What are your best tips for keeping thoughts of other women out of my mind? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by tripledrop on Apr 19, 2015 - 69 answers

Thwarting loneliness in times of trial

How can I cope with the fact that I will likely be single for the next several years? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Apr 18, 2015 - 21 answers

"You can't handle the truth!" But I need to learn how to...

Last week, my partner admitted that he's been not just hiding things, but outright lying to me. The revelations hurt, but I need honesty if we're to stay together. How do I make it safe for my partner to tell me the truth when it's repeatedly been so startling and upsetting? Difficulty level: partner is dealing with Major Depression, and has been near-suicidal. [more inside]
posted by Someone Else's Story on Apr 17, 2015 - 56 answers

The Cycle Continues

Are my kids forever damaged? Can I teach them to show love? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 28 answers

My cat is an awful roommate

For a number of reasons, my partner and I have decided to live separately for the first time in our relationship. I've lived with a partner for the majority of my adult life, and I have no idea how to make living alone not suck OR how to do a grown-up relationship without living together. Snowflakes galore inside. [more inside]
posted by cheerwine on Apr 14, 2015 - 14 answers

What Emotional Decision Points Led to Your Good Relationship?

I'm writing a novel, and this is a research question. Essentially, I want to understand, both in general and in specific, what emotional decisions lead to a good relationship. The protagonist and the love-interest have hit it off, and Act 3 is about how their relationship deepens and intensifies. So, I want to know, what choices, and especially what emotional choices, have you made that turned out well? [more inside]
posted by Alex Haist on Apr 11, 2015 - 13 answers

How did you organize your decision making around divorce?

I'm debating getting divorced. I'm interested in the decision-making process. If you've debated getting a divorce - whether you ultimately decided to or not - what did your process look like? What did you do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 24 answers

How do I communicate better when I'm about to, erm, get my freak on?

Exactly as it says on the tin. How do, without faking it, I be more upfront about my dating/sexual inexperience with my potential partners, and when? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 21 answers

should I feel like shit? cause I kinda feel like shit.

I am new(ish) to dating. I went on a couple of dates(?) with one person, and with another person a platonic meeting turned romantic and now I feel really guilty. Can I get some goddamn perspective, please? (other stupid complications within, obvsly. Just look what website we're on.) [more inside]
posted by FirstMateKate on Apr 9, 2015 - 13 answers

Big difference in age/experience on a first date and if something more.

So I am a 34 male and I knowingly asked a 19-20-21-ish-year-old on a coffee date. I mentioned the age difference to her when I did so. She said, "Sure." If we go on more dates after this date and/or become physically intimate, how can I minimize the chance that she will retrospectively feel preyed upon or taken advantage of in X years? [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Apr 6, 2015 - 99 answers

Did I emotionally violate myself, or did he emotionally violate me?

I've been getting closer and closer to the guy I've been dating for six months. He's very lovely. The other week I worried a little that we weren't close 'enough' for where I want to be, and mentioned in passing that I usually would've told past boyfriends some pretty big (dark) things that haven't come up yet in our relationship. I explained that this was less because I didn't trust him and more because I guess I'm experimenting with the idea that these things (child sexual abuse, a very abusive relationship with an alcoholic in my teens) don't define me and I don't need to 'fess up' as being 'damaged' like I have previously. However, he took it to mean that there was lots about me he didn't know which he has said he finds 'distressing', and he also wants me to trust him with these things. He's mentioned it twice since, and I ended up just telling him the other night mainly to reassure him, but I now feel a little....emotionally exposed, and not sure whether I did that to myself (he didn't force them out of me, but I did feel pressured), or whether I should let him know that it made me feel uncomfortable and that I wasn't quite ready. I don't want to offend him again, or cause a rupture in what is otherwise a great relationship. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Apr 3, 2015 - 31 answers

What does it look like for financial values to fundamentally change?

My SO & I are in our 30’s, have been dating over a year and have been talking about marriage. We are having a crisis over our differing financial values. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2015 - 21 answers

How to love a fearful-avoidant partner

I've seen these questions about how to change a fearful-avoidant attachment style, but I can't find any information on how to help a partner who is fearful-avoidant feel loved and secure. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2015 - 11 answers

I'm having trouble deciphering my friend's new behavior toward me

I was going through a tough time with some family members, and one day it became too much to handle. I cried in front of this guy I'll call him C, who is the leader of this meetup group I'm in. He's two years older than me. We've been casual friends for a few years, but I've had the biggest secret crush on him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2015 - 15 answers

My mom is lonely and alone. Can I offer healthy support with boundaries?

I recently posted my current situation here. I'm still struggling with a longstanding issue: My mom's undiagnosed (notwithstanding a brief stint on anti-depressants 15 years ago following her divorce) possible depression. About once or twice a year I find myself with her while she sobs uncontrollably and talks about how lonely and alone she feels as she ages. These are all valid feelings and fears, but everytime I bring up seeing a counsellor to help her get her life back on track, giver her tools to cope, filter out the negative energy in her life (such as her codependent relationship with her 29 y/o son), she refuses to admit there is a problem. [more inside]
posted by stumblingthroughitall on Mar 31, 2015 - 12 answers

Help for the fearful-avoidant adult.

I seem to be Fearful-avoidant according to attachment theory in adults. Please help me learn more about this way of dealing with people. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 30, 2015 - 8 answers

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