2883 posts tagged with Relationships.
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Scared of attraction.

29 year old heterosexual male. I believe that I have social anxiety when it comes to talking to women I am attracted to - perhaps more than normal. This has meant very little sex or relationships throughout my life. Practical ideas for dealing with this would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2015 - 18 answers

Only a loser would settle for me

I can't imagine someone choosing to date me when there are people out there who are so much more successful, competent, fit, daring, worldly, and self-assured. So if someone likes me, I assume they can't do better than me, and that's a turnoff, because I'm not so great, so THEY must not be so great either. How can I get out of this mental trap? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 24, 2015 - 39 answers

my boyfriend likes to text other girls and I don't like that

WALL OF TEXT INSIDE. My boyfriend is perfect and wonderful and amazing except we have some terrible trust and commitment issues. Cycle(s) of emotional cheating and suspicious forgiveness. I don't know if it's too late to fix or even how to proceed in that direction if it's not. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 23, 2015 - 64 answers

Is there an ethical way to have my cake and eat it too?

Hi Metafilter, I hope you can help with a question about ethics, fetishes, and relationships. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 19, 2015 - 46 answers

Why can I not get over my abusive boyfriend?

I broke up with my off/on boyfriend and am having a terrible time not approaching him to take me back, even though he is, um, nuts. Many words within. [more inside]
posted by DeadFlagBlues on Jan 17, 2015 - 47 answers

Dating Spock

I'm head over heels infatuated with a guy who has commitment issues and low emotional IQ. How to proceed without jeopardizing my own needs? [more inside]
posted by squirtle on Jan 16, 2015 - 31 answers

Partner's health problems are really tough on our relationship

Trying to deal with my partner's chronic health problems is tough, especially during times of stress. I already have some doubts about our relationship and this is only making it worse. Narcoleptics & narcoleptic lovers, give me your advice! Commiseration is welcome with your advice too. (More below the cut.) [more inside]
posted by vreify on Jan 13, 2015 - 30 answers

How can i tell if I'm the problem?

I feel like in most of my relationships I haven't been treated the way I want/deserve. I'd like to see whether this is really the case or if the problem is me. [more inside]
posted by ninjablob on Jan 13, 2015 - 29 answers

I drank too much and made my boyfriend "furious."

I don't remember what I did. How can I defuse the situation? [more inside]
posted by pumpkinseed on Jan 10, 2015 - 24 answers

Creative approaches to reconciling?

If my boyfriend and I stay together, how can we improve our relationship without getting mired in the distrust that can come with having almost parted or in the effortful work of changing our interactions? [more inside]
posted by newtonstreet on Jan 9, 2015 - 7 answers

Can I financially divorce my husband?

We own a mid-sized business together. Communication between us has effectively stopped, mainly because of differing business styles. We still talk, but he stopped listening about 10 years ago. It’s gotten to the point where we act independently of each other in both our professional and personal lives. His actions have eroded my respect and trust for him, business-wise. I think the only way to save our 20 year marriage is to split financially, but I don’t know if that is possible. [more inside]
posted by tuckeredout on Jan 8, 2015 - 40 answers

Struggling with myself, my feelings, and how to do life

I'm doing everything they say to heal and move on, to get your life together. I try to be as social as I can with good friends who understand the situation and am focusing as much energy into work and school. I'm afraid of burnout though and how to unravel these emotions when I'm lying awake at night and questioning if I did the right thing? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on Jan 6, 2015 - 7 answers

Husband pushed me down. Now what?

On Christmas morning, my husband and I got into a verbal fight about a movie. He then charged at me and pushed me down. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2015 - 79 answers

Things you wish you had talked about before getting married

My partner and I are discussing getting married within the next year, and I thought I'd get the hive's opinion on important topics to go over before tying the knot. [more inside]
posted by Blissful on Jan 4, 2015 - 37 answers

Navigating a 10 Year Age Gap While Dating

Yesterday an incredible guy messaged me on Match and I can't stop looking at his profile because he seems like such a great fit for me. The only catch is that he's 10-11 years older than I am (though still in his 30s) and that's making me very leery. Am I right to be or am I being silly? [more inside]
posted by Hermione Granger on Jan 3, 2015 - 51 answers

How to handle people opposed to your relationship?

After a long and difficult period (we met while married to other people) I'm now in a very loving relationship. However there is inevitable fallout. I feel a bit lost for guidance as to how to navigate the new territory I find myself in. I'd like recommendations for resources, blogs, books, forums, whatever, but also personal experiences of how you handled this kind of situation, namely with people who are very much not happy with the situation. Or maybe you are/were the not happy person - were you able to move past it? [more inside]
posted by outoftime on Dec 31, 2014 - 33 answers

Worried my boyfriend might be gay?

I am becoming worried that my boyfriend of 2.5 months might be gay. Are these valid reasons to be suspicious that he is homosexual? How should I apporach the situation? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Dec 29, 2014 - 32 answers

How do I cope with my offensive roommates?

I'm a woman who is living with two straight cismen who routinely have loud, offensive, misogynistic/racist/queerphobic conversations in the apartment's common areas. I'd like them to stop doing this in shared spaces because it makes me and my guests uncomfortable. I need tips for talking to them. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2014 - 25 answers

I don't want to see you but here you are

I just found out that my ex is planning on attending a New Year's Eve party I am going to and it is causing me a lot of stress. Strategies for dealing with this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2014 - 17 answers

So I'm the common denominator, right?

I'm struggling with the idea of not internalizing rejection and trying to come to terms with why I've had so much trouble with relationships in a romantic context. Normally I'm able to make really good decisions, but for some reasons with relationships I seem to be hitting the proverbial brick wall. Please classify my snowflake. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2014 - 14 answers

I want to want you to want it (that way)

I am having trouble directing my kinky desires towards my long-term partner. Help? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2014 - 8 answers

Family Drama Filter: Help me distance myself from a parent

I've come to realize over the years that while I love my father, I am so different from him, and do not share his and his wife's (he is remarried) lifestyle and values and really wish I could come to accept it and completely distance myself from them. Please help me do this. [more inside]
posted by SanSebastien on Dec 21, 2014 - 7 answers

Post-coital repulsion

I use sex-related words in my question, so I've placed it in the extended area in case anyone is browsing at a prudish workplace. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 21, 2014 - 17 answers

Was this a weird thing to do or am I just having major anxiety?

How can I escape a spiraling anxiety and shame based mood and be realistic? I'm drivong myself crazy. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Dec 20, 2014 - 29 answers

How do I protect myself emotionally as a submissive?

I'm a bi female in my early 30s, just out of a decade long very vanilla relationship. I live in NYC and have been exploring my submissive side. Really enjoying it. Like, alot. I have never had better sex in my life and it is amazing. I am extremely submissive and I'm having a little bit of difficultly making sure I am emotionally safe. Because of the nature of my situation, I can't really talk to my usual family or friend connections when I need to vent. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 20, 2014 - 24 answers

Boyfriend texting another girl?

When my boyfriend (of 6 years) and I had a fight, I noticed he was texting all night. I had a look at his phone out of anger, and I wish I hadn't, because now I can't un-see what I saw, nor stop thinking about it. It's probably nothing, but it's got me checking. I know I need to stop, but I need to deal with this issue at hand first. Should I confront him? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2014 - 31 answers

Why won’t you listen?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! We are going to fail!

A friend and former colleague came to us as subject matter experts in international sales and market development. He came to us for our expertise but he will not listen to our recommendations and is putting us on the brink of failure and this is a company that should not be failing. What are techniques for dealing with stubborn people that refuse to listen and learn in a professional situation? [more inside]
posted by Che boludo! on Dec 16, 2014 - 17 answers

Making choices about whether to drink alcohol when at home or not

My 58 year old husband who is soon to retire from a CEO job(ie high stress) loves alcohol and drinks each night. When we are at home, he offers it to me. I have a love/hate relationship with it and seem to get pulled into drinking with him and then regret it when I get sleepy during a movie or feel somewhat impaired reading a book. [more inside]
posted by seekingsimplicity on Dec 16, 2014 - 31 answers

Am I looking a gifthorse in the mouth?

I found the greatest guy when I wasn't even looking. But I'm not too long out of a relationship (10 months) where I think I really loved him (despite current man looking so much better on paper), intimacy is taking a while to grow and I just feel a bit wary and not sure I'm into him some of the time. It's been 3/4 months of dating but I'd now say we're firmly headed to relationship territory. But I don't want to stay and waste this person's time if he's not the one for me. I also don't want to throw away something which could be really special, and this person is special, but maybe I know that on paper but don't really appreciate it which doesn't seem like a good start to a relationship. [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Dec 14, 2014 - 9 answers

I will give you space until it comes out of your ears

It's early days in our relationship yet, and I like this guy tremendously, but his communication practices are driving me up the wall. Am I being too demanding or do I have some basis for feeling neglected? more flakey snowflakeness inside [more inside]
posted by starcrust on Dec 9, 2014 - 42 answers

Dating advice for an inexperienced neurotic person

I've been using OkCupid for a few months now and have been on around 4 dates with different people. I (22) started talking to a woman (also 22) last month and we really hit it off online. We've met up twice now and had a lot of fun together (both dates were over 6 hours long) and we ended up kissing the last time we were together. At the end of the second date we talked about meeting up again, however I'm having serious doubts and anxiety. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Dec 8, 2014 - 16 answers

Please help me decide if I should move back to NYC from SF

Can't decide if I should move back to NYC from SF. Please help me find some new ways to think about the problem. [more inside]
posted by apostate street preacher on Dec 4, 2014 - 27 answers

Domestic violence survivor needs help evaluating current relationship

We're both in our 30's, no kids. I'm not very experienced in healthy relationships and want to check my gut reactions to some things. I don't have girlfriends close enough to ask and my therapist says I'm just thinking too much. (ugh) [more inside]
posted by amirite on Dec 3, 2014 - 33 answers

In search of red and yellow flags for new relationships

Is there something I should I be on the lookout for if I am dating a new guy with (a lot of) close female friends? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 2, 2014 - 19 answers

Do I REALLY need to take a break from dating?

I know I "should" take a break from dating, but I don't want to. Why "should" I? Snowflakery follows [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Nov 29, 2014 - 27 answers

Gettin' it on

How have you reconciled differing sex drives? [more inside]
posted by little beast on Nov 26, 2014 - 11 answers

Do sex drives ever INCREASE after 3+ years in a relationship?

My SO and I have been growing together more and more in the last three years. However, one thing seems to grow less and less, and as we move closer to thinking about marriage, I am a little concerned that our sex drives are mismatched for a very long term relationship. I am 23 and she is 21. I've heard a ton of anecdotes about women "waking up" sexually around 25. Is it realistic for me to think that that could be a possibility? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 25, 2014 - 33 answers

How do I get used to being single?

I've been out of a relationship for over a month and I'm running into trouble reconciling with the single status. It doesn't help that the ex seems to be moving along well. How do I reconcile with the feeling that I'm completely isolated? [more inside]
posted by skippingcharades on Nov 25, 2014 - 16 answers

How do I become more comfortable with being single?

I would like to shake off the discomfort that sometimes comes with being single and learn to develop myself more. [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Nov 23, 2014 - 8 answers

Are academics more happily married with each other?

Looking for studies with data. [more inside]
posted by chrysanthemum on Nov 20, 2014 - 8 answers

Reading recommendations for someone who wants healthier relationships?

I'm a big fan of learning things by reading; reading about cognitive-behavioural therapy has been helpful in combating depression, and reading about creative conflict resolution has been helpful in relationships with family and workmates. I'd like some reading recommendations for building healthy romantic relationships, since it's something I'm ignorant about. [more inside]
posted by clawsoon on Nov 20, 2014 - 44 answers

He didn't even want to have sex with me

My co-worker is the first guy I have been attracted to in a year and he seemed to reciprocate but then abpruptly lost interest. I can't stop obssesing over it and feeling rejected and down. [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Nov 19, 2014 - 27 answers

Managing relationship doubts while depressed

I've been with my girlfriend for 5+ years, and lived together for 4. We've moved around the country together, adopted a pet together, and spent a lot of time thinking about/planning our next move together (we've moved around a lot, most recently so she could go to school). Lately, though, I've had significant, plaguing doubts about whether we should be together, and I'm having trouble parsing what's really going on. [more inside]
posted by batscam on Nov 16, 2014 - 14 answers

Am I broken?

I used to like people, but now I don't. I fear I'm creating an irreversibly solitary life for myself. I think the problem must be me, but I'm not sure what the cure is. Looking for advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 16, 2014 - 73 answers

Great industry but the people suck. Help?

I'm a university graduate with entirely separate vocational training in an industry that always interested me. I've since worked an entry-level position in said industry but I've discovered that the employers and employees alike are similar culturally in a way that I am not. If I were to draw a Venn diagram of my interests and theirs, it would look like this: O O. I can't change everyone, so do I change myself or my job? [more inside]
posted by thethirdoption on Nov 14, 2014 - 13 answers

Special words to describe specific relationships?

English does not have words for certain kinds of specific relationships, but other languages do. I am interested in learning examples of some of these words. [more inside]
posted by JoannaC on Nov 14, 2014 - 30 answers

Getting over irrational jealousy/inferiority complex of other lady

My excellent partner was once in love for years with a lovely lady and dear friend of his who is gorgeous, elegant, accomplished, well known and admired in her line of work. It's in the past but it bothers me. This is my issue alone. Help me get past my feelings. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 11, 2014 - 18 answers

It's Breaking, if not Broken: Can I fix it?

My partner confessed to entertaining the idea of moving out, because living with me has been difficult of late and it's starting to hurt them. Is there any way back from this? [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Nov 10, 2014 - 13 answers

Halp! First experience with nonmonogamy

First non monogamous relationship. First serious post-marriage relationship. Lots of feelings. Need a navigator. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 6, 2014 - 39 answers

Asking for a friend... Is this relationship something that can be fixed?

"My fiancé and I started dating when we were 16. We are now 21. Our relationship started out great, and we moved in together quickly when we were 17. We lived together from that point on until he took a job out of state last October. He currently works about 12 hours from where I live. We have been having a lot of problems lately and I'm trying to figure out if it is worth saving. More details inside." [more inside]
posted by sarahgrace on Nov 5, 2014 - 41 answers

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