3059 posts tagged with Relationships.
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Supportive relationships in fiction

I was inspired by previous threads that asked for illustrations of healthy relationships. I am asking now for illustrations of fruitful mentor/mentee-type relationships (especially among equals, as opposed to parent/child or teacher/student). [more inside]
posted by Don Don on Sep 22, 2015 - 13 answers

How can I move my life forward?

I feel like my life is in a standstill and I’m going nowhere and I don’t know how to change that. Do I need therapy or a swift kick in the butt? [more inside]
posted by Bunglegirl on Sep 20, 2015 - 18 answers

How to focus on the things you want to do when your SO is around

I have a couple of good habits I'm working on instilling in myself (exercising and working on my art), but I never seem to have the time or energy when my SO is in town. What strategies do you use to carve out time for yourself? [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Sep 20, 2015 - 10 answers

Dealing with abusive former collaborator who runs in same social circles

My close professional relationship with a man ended badly because he was abusive towards me and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. He's blown up over tiny things, yelled at me until I cried, made inappropriate sexual advances, etc. He’s done this to at least 5 different women, but nobody wants to talk about it openly. [more inside]
posted by doodletoo on Sep 20, 2015 - 7 answers

Girlfriend has possibly hereditary depression---education for me?

I'm looking for resources, either literature or conversation, to help me think about getting into a serious relationship with someone who is mentally ill and has enormous family history of mental illness. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 18, 2015 - 33 answers

Are polyamorous relationships more stable?

I've seen a lot of couples go through serious relationship issues when both members of the couple are under significant stress simultaneously - does it help to have a third (or fourth) "partner" to stabilize the relationship when two of the members of the relationship are losing their minds? [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Sep 14, 2015 - 31 answers

Healthy Expectations for New Dating Situation?

I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Sep 14, 2015 - 13 answers

I Broke Up with Him and I'm Heartbroken

I broke up with him a week ago. I feel like he is the one who broke up with me. [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Sep 12, 2015 - 63 answers

Can stress make you reconsider relationships?

I'm pretty stressed out (and maybe depressed?) and it's making me annoyed all the time and unfortunately, surfacing niggling feelings that is making me reconsider my relationship. Now I feel even more stressed and just plain guilty and mean. How do you think clearly through stress/depression/anxiety/etc. about this kind of issue and differentiate the stress-thinking from everything else? [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Sep 9, 2015 - 30 answers

And down will come cradle, cradle and ALL??

How did you and your partner survive parenthood? [more inside]
posted by Rocket26 on Sep 9, 2015 - 25 answers

Music for the bedroom?

What are some songs I can use to mask the noise of sex so I can be polite to my roommates and allow my girlfriend and me to fully enjoy ourselves? [more inside]
posted by mtphoto on Sep 9, 2015 - 28 answers

Niggling hope, post breakup edition. How to squelch it?

My long distance boyfriend of 2 years suddenly and coldly broke up with me during my last visit, before I could tell him I wanted to move for him and build a future. We have 4-5 flights for the next three months already booked. I have this niggling, nefarious, wretched shred of hope that he will still get on his flight(s) to come see me. This hope wedges its way into my mind and is destroying me. How do I kill it so it stops stunting my ability to move on? [more inside]
posted by doctordrey on Sep 9, 2015 - 25 answers

Dealing with overbearing sibling of boyfriend

My boyfriend and I have been together a very very long time and its been a rough road for the past few years because of his excessive need for space and distance, and his need to socialize with friends when are together. We were both ambivalent towards the notion of marriage earlier but are now working towards it. After living for many years in a long distance relationship we are now living together in the same city as his sister. She is fundamentally a kind and generous person but not someone I'd independently be friends. My problem is since my boyfriend moved into the city they have both been rather aggressive about spending time with each other with my boyfriend mostly unable but often unwilling to set boundaries and carve the space we need. More inside..... [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on Sep 6, 2015 - 36 answers

Is he a liar or am I just crazy? Should I break it off?

I am starting to think my boyfriend has been lying to me for a long time. Not sure what to do about this relationship. [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Sep 5, 2015 - 78 answers

What's it like to be with a girl whom you love more than she loves you?

I guess I'm mostly interested in guys' perspectives here, although I'd be interested to hear from girls too (whatever your sexual preference). Have you ever been in a relationship with a girl whom you loved significantly more than you felt loved by her? What did that feel like? How was the relationship and how did it end? Did you ever discuss this with her? [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Sep 5, 2015 - 10 answers

How do I ask for what I need/want without guilt-tripping people?

In the aftermath of a pretty fulfilling relationship that lasted almost a year, I've come to realize that I have never learned how to ask people for what I need in relationships without making people feel guilty for saying no. This might be a long one. Does anyone know of good books on how to do this or any suggestions/advice? [more inside]
posted by oogenesis on Sep 4, 2015 - 16 answers

How to handle a jealous partner?

Need help in reassuring/dealing with a rather jealous boyfriend. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 25, 2015 - 80 answers

Help me learn to talk about myself.

I’m really bad at talking about what’s going on in my life with my family, on both the trivial and profound levels. This is really starting to hurt my relationships. Please help me learn how to do it. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Aug 25, 2015 - 12 answers

Finally pulled the plug on relationship, feeling confused.

I finally pulled the plug on my relationship after I realized I had been unhappy for most of it. My boyfriend was surprisingly understanding and respectful about it. I have a flight in a week, but I find myself often wondering if I’ve done the right thing. I’m worried I might back out of leaving and I need help. Our history and wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Aug 24, 2015 - 20 answers

Hey illness, please give me my partner back

Need help handling growing apart from your partner when chronic illness has eliminated everything you had in common. If the relationship is deteriorating, when and how should you keep it alive? [more inside]
posted by internet of pillows on Aug 17, 2015 - 31 answers

Broke up with toxic ex, why do I feel like I did something wrong?

I broke up with my toxic ex roughly 2 weeks ago and I feel real empty and weird. I feel sad and feel like I did something wrong but he mainly to blame for this. More inside [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Aug 16, 2015 - 16 answers

Nice is creepy

I am really struggling with developing relationships with nice nonsocially awkward people. Having gone to a few different cbt therapists, I have made major improvements with anxiety/perfectionism/feeling judged. However, when I start chatting with someone who seems not at all socially awkward and appropriately nice, I feel my skin start to crawl and distance myself. How can I fix this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2015 - 9 answers

Can you teach yourself to be more compassionate in relationships?

Need help in stopping a toxic behavioral pattern in post-divorce relationships. More details inside. [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Aug 14, 2015 - 7 answers

Grandparents hate us, want to continue loving baby. Now what?

My husband's parents are the only grandparents my child see regularly (we live in his country rather than mine) have decided that they no longer want a relationship with us. They do, however, want to continue their bi-weekly visits to see the baby which I would be "hosting". We don't want to cut them off, but I am not enthused. Reassurance and tips on navigating this requested. I am so confused!! [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Aug 12, 2015 - 92 answers

It Really Has Been That Easy For This Pretty Boy

So, I am married to a very pretty guy. We are both mid 30s. His entire relationship history includes women just throwing themselves at him, so he hasn't had to ever make any effort to learn how to be romantic or initiate foreplay. His current method is to just tell me he wants to have sex. When I complained that his method wasn't enough for me, he asked me what I want him to do. It is like I'm dealing with an adolescent boy. What resources could I steer him towards that don't include a sex therapist?
posted by LilithSilver on Aug 11, 2015 - 22 answers

When should you compromise on compromising?

An old flame who has since moved away has recently reached out to me asking if we can give things another go. I'm amenable to the idea, but I feel rather strongly that we should spend a weekend together in a neutral location before deciding anything further. Planning for this has stalled. My gut is giving me mixed signals, has this reached an end or do I need to be more flexible? [more inside]
posted by bernie60676 on Aug 11, 2015 - 31 answers

I think my boyfriend of 7 months is cheating on me. Thoughts?

My boyfriend of seven months has recently been distant, and lied to me about spending time with another girl, then got defensive when I called his bluff. I have little experience with this. More inside. [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Aug 11, 2015 - 43 answers

How do I tell s/o they need to change everything they do in bed, for me?

I'm wrestling between not trying to date this person - who's one of my best friends - and trying to make it work. The problem is the sexuality - either the chemistry is off, or it needs to be adjusted. I just don't know *how* to do that, without hurting his feelings, or if I should at all. [more inside]
posted by meeeese on Aug 10, 2015 - 13 answers

Group therapy vs. individual therapy (or both?)

I'm looking for some input on how best to proceed regarding my divorce and whether group therapy or an individual therapist would be best. [more inside]
posted by Twicketface on Aug 10, 2015 - 11 answers

For me it's never "F*ck Yes"

Referring to the title of this article: F*ck Yes or No. I never feel so charmed by someone I meet that I am no-question into them. How do people like me create meaningful romantic relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2015 - 27 answers

How to deal with feeling suddenly paranoid towards loved one?

Turning into this guys wife. Married a year and a half. Been together for a total of 3 yrs. Prior to around a month ago I had no insecurity issues or paranoia towards my husband. This is the best relationship that I’ve ever been in and I feel so lucky to have met him. [more inside]
posted by puppup on Aug 5, 2015 - 13 answers

How do you define a sex addict?

A close friend and confidante of mine has started a new relationship, but she's questioning what's "normal" for sexual appetites. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 5, 2015 - 30 answers

A lifetime of reading subtext means I sometimes miss the main text.

DatingFilter: Been hanging out with this guy for a few weeks. Asked him out an Actual Date and he declined but it seems like he left the door open. And I'm not sure if my answer closed the door. I am terrible at this dating thing. [more inside]
posted by inmyhead on Aug 4, 2015 - 28 answers

Boyfriend extremely pushy with sex

I have been seeing someone for 4 months. Quite a few times he was very pushy with having sex while I am sick or during period when I made it clear that I don't want to. He never actually crosses the line in forcing me to do it but I still feel weirded out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2015 - 84 answers

Embarrassing parents – encouragement please!

My parents are kind of difficult, and haven't been great parents to me. I find them embarrassing in some ways ( I feel terrible saying that but it’s true). How to navigate feeling insecure about them in front of my boyfriend, and the temptation to act insecure and pissy and create issues in my current relationship because of this? Would be great to hear reassurance from people who've gotten over their partner's difficult or embarrassing parents and loved them anyway, or from those who have difficult parents but haven't let it affect their wonderful relationship. Complicated by other issues (mostly cancer-related) – more inside! [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Aug 3, 2015 - 19 answers

Freaking Out About Ending Up Alone

Just like the title says. In the aftermath of a relationship, I’m panicking about being resigned to singlehood. As you might expect, snowflakes ahead. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Aug 3, 2015 - 16 answers

How to gauge interest and deal with rejection in early stages of dating?

After a pretty rough breakup in January, I'm starting to be open to the idea of dating again. However, I don't find myself romantically attracted to very many people, so when I do find someone I am interested in, I tend to get my hopes up. I started talking to a guy and feel like I am receiving mixed signals - how do I gauge interest and deal with the possibility of rejection after hoping this would work out? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Aug 2, 2015 - 15 answers

Outsider by choice: how to become more active?

I find it very hard to find the motivation to get involved in social interactions or group activities. I am happy observing, only speaking up when I feel I have something unique to contribute, like when I see nobody else is saying what I have to say or is able to perform something I can do. I don't want attention for the sake of attention and am used to being an observer, but I need to change as this behavior is beginning to have a toll on my life. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Guelder on Jul 31, 2015 - 9 answers

Leaving my 4 year relatioship, never left anyone before?

After 4 years, and recent realization of my boyfriends distasteful behavior towards me, I am deeply considering leaving my first adult relationship. I've realize that quite possibly I've never been happy. I've been plagued my anxieties and insecurities throughout most of it. It has also had it's fair share of issues. It probably isn't a good sign if leaving our relationship makes me feel more sane. I think I need advice. Inside will be most of our history of issues and some more specific questions. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Jul 29, 2015 - 23 answers

What's a normal way to navigate friendships?

I feel as though I have a lot of trouble navigating friendships with same way other people do. More specifically, I feel as though my normal is not anyone else's normal vis-a-vis level of contact, time commitments, etc. How do I address this? Lots of snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by O Sock My Sock on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

I want a divorce, he doesn't

After a long consideration phase, I have decided that I want a divorce but my partner is refusing to start the formal process. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

Your best resources for evaluating the health of relationships

Without going into detail, I've been given pause about a romantic relationship and am trying to get some perspective on it. Having only the vaguest of itches, I decided to skip laying it all out for fellow MeFites this time in favor of something more universally applicable: what outside resources do you use to take the temperature of your interpersonal connections on your own?
posted by dee lee on Jul 28, 2015 - 8 answers

My guy friend (and crush) blushed when I gave him a compliment

I've liked this guy for quite a while. We're part of a meetup group that he leads. We are around the same age (early 30s, he's two years older). I've always found him to be a great leader and great person all around, despite my crush on him. Recently I told him this, and it wasn't in an overly gushing way. Just a sincere compliment. I was almost crying when I told him, so I was speaking from the heart. [more inside]
posted by starpoint on Jul 28, 2015 - 33 answers

i love you, but your happiness is smothering me

As someone with a history of transcience and instability, can I be happy in a relationship with someone who's had a very conventional life? A looooong explanation follows. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 25, 2015 - 16 answers

Boyfriend asked for space, how long should I wait?

My boyfriend asked for space after going through a pretty rough week. I'm leaving on holiday in a week (going away for two weeks) and I would like to sort things out before then. Is it a bad idea to contact him myself in a few days, or should I wait for him to make the first move (but risk going away for two weeks without having seen him)? [more inside]
posted by Vulpix91 on Jul 25, 2015 - 23 answers

How do I deal with contemptuous people?

Without going into too much detail, I'd love to know the most effective way to combat contempt amongst coworkers, bosses, and fellow members of social circles. I have attempted "killing them with kindness," but it seems to have little impact on diffusing situations where I am treated with disgust. Any help would be much appreciated.
posted by aristotlefangirl on Jul 22, 2015 - 15 answers

I'm invisible in real life, but do well in online dating [27/m]

In real life women don't flirt with me, smile at me in public, or glance at me when they walk past me. However, with online dating I do really well. What gives? I'm starting to suspect I'm just really photogenic and I'm a bit of a dog in real life.
posted by GiveUpNed on Jul 20, 2015 - 23 answers

Should I Just Go Straight to Crone Island?

How do you date while being a feminist? I was thinking about trying online dating again. Then I read the amazing emotional labor thread on the blue, which made me question that. Are there tips and tricks for finding a male partner who is willing to do emotional labor? [more inside]
posted by JustKeepSwimming on Jul 20, 2015 - 44 answers

Emotional Labor Checklist/Self-Assessment

In light of the thread on the blue about unpaid emotional labor, I'd like to construct a self-assessment checklist so that I can actively work on being better at emotional labor. I've got 20 or so line items already written down (posted below the fold), which I've amassed from trying to distill the thread. What additional items should I add or change to more fully flesh out this list? [more inside]
posted by Maecenas on Jul 20, 2015 - 75 answers

Are rebound relationships (and rebound sex) really often helpful?

Looking at the end of a significant LTR that's probably going to be crushing once I get over the shock. They say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. I have no experience with this. Is it really often true? (they also say that low-fat deserts and education debt are good for you). [more inside]
posted by wildblueyonder on Jul 19, 2015 - 16 answers

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