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Engagement didn't work out - but she's still on the mortgage

So I got engaged and bought a house with my fiancee. We lived together for a couple of years but it did not go well and she moved out. So I'd like to keep the house but do that I'll need to get her off the mortgage and off the deed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 22, 2013 - 21 answers

 

Am I being realistic?

I'm getting ready to have a possible "final conversation" about financial responsibility with my boyfriend. I just want to check in to see that I'm being realistic with today's economy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2013 - 32 answers

Your doubt about my lack of doubts is giving me doubts

I'm currently in the process of moving in with my girlfriend of ~2 years. Everything was going smoothly, but now that I'm half moved in she's scared every day that I'm going to think I've made a mistake. How can I best move forward here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 19, 2013 - 17 answers

How do I create space with my new girlfriend?

I've been dating a girl for a couple of months and she wants to do everything together. What's a good way to establish boundaries and let her know that I care about her friends, things she does, while not pushing her away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2013 - 10 answers

I love you so much, and I want to never have your baby.

My boyfriend and I haven't been together for a very long time, but it has already started to feel very serious and I see the potential for a longterm future together. We are both extremely close with our families and I know that family life and children are a huge priority for both of us. We're on the same page there. However... By extraordinary coincidence we both suffer from the same rare, semi-inheritable disease. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 10, 2013 - 25 answers

What to bring home if not the bacon?

Help me cope with my live-in girlfriend's increasingly arbitrary diet [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 8, 2013 - 39 answers

Obsessed With a Friend

I've been married for 9 years and have been faithful in every way. I recently became close with a member of the opposite sex who I truly value as a friend. But I find myself thinking about this person way too much, and I am not sure how to deal with it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 7, 2013 - 15 answers

At least I have my cat?

I'm generally happy with where I am, but lately I've been feeling more and more envy when I see couples and it's getting distracting... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2013 - 13 answers

Losing relationship chances due to others' interference - help?

I was recently in the situation where I met a possible new love interest but, due to interference by a mutual social group, the relationship never had a chance to begin. How common is this and how can I protect myself? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 3, 2013 - 26 answers

Still miss my ex and struggling to move on.

I’m a 31 year-old female. About 9 months ago, a 2-year relationship ended. I’m still struggling a lot with it. How abnormal is this, and what else can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2013 - 17 answers

Healthy ways of working with financial imbalances in relationships?

I grew up in a lower-middle-class family. Through a combination of hard work, opportunity and luck, I find myself in my 30's with a very decent net worth. It's enough to allow me to feel very secure about retirement, job/career changes, health issues, supporting family, etc. and this security is probably the most important aspect of money to me. For me, money means security, safety, freedom. I maintain a very middle-class lifestyle, continue to work full-time and save at a reasonable rate. I've started to realize how much this factors into my thinking about long term relationships, especially marriage (and its attendant family joining) and financial co-mingling, and am looking for some perspectives on positive ways of managing these kinds of issues. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2013 - 21 answers

I love my girlfriend, but cannot shake this feeling.

I have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and am very much in love. She is bipolar and it is affecting my emotional and mental health. I cannot shake these feelings of leaving her but I know love is hard to come by. What should I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 22, 2013 - 25 answers

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents.

How to have a healthy relationship with my anxious parents. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 9 answers

I'm a miser, he's a spendthrift - how do we compromise and coexist?

So, I'm with this guy, and we hope to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm a Millennial saver* and he's a Gen X spender. He has a middle class income (around 40k), and I make half of that. When it comes to our arguments, it may also be of relevance that he's a human and I'm more of a Vulcan. How do we reconcile our opposing viewpoints about finances, trust, and gadgets? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 60 answers

Need perspective on inter-family conflict

My mother and mother-in-law have had a falling out due to a misunderstanding on my mother-in-law's part. My mother-in-law lives with me and my mother is due to visit in the summer (she lives abroad). Before I collapse with stress, I need some external perspective on this issue. Help! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 8, 2013 - 15 answers

Putting a Humpty-Dumpty marriage together again.

My wife and I separated six months ago. Now, after marriage and individual counselling, it looks like we might be ready to give things another shot. How do we go about re-integrating our lives whilst there are still small alarm bells ringing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Am I overreacting or is my partner?

Partner frequently gets angry when we go out. This upsets me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 26 answers

Foolish Comment Ruins Chance With Amazing Woman

I recently met an amazing, smart woman. On our third date, I made a stupid comment that offended her. I made it worse by trying to cover myself. I really want to salvage this situation and see this woman again. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 31, 2013 - 55 answers

Help! I'm living in a "Family Guy" episode.

My boyfriend of a little more than a year is a totally. great. guy. With one exception: he thinks that being funny means saying whatever overtly racist, homophobic or sexist joke he can think of as a response to many situations. I always stop and tell him it's not cool, then he says, "what? I'm just kidding." Now, I worry he might actually be pretty sexist. What to do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 181 answers

Will love tear us apart?

I'm experiencing a very tumultuous time in my relationship with my partner of 4 years. I don't know what part of our relationship problems are due to his ADHD, general depression on both our parts or incompatibility. Where can I go from here? What questions can I ask myself and him to get a clearer idea of the origin of our problem? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 4 answers

Can no longer bang head against financial wall.

So... There are plenty of help-me-with-my-finances questions on MeFi, but this is more of a relationship question... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 26, 2013 - 37 answers

I'm so glad all our friends are happy; let's break up

BreakupFilter: I've been dating a woman for about five months now, and whilst she's lovely I'm starting to think that maybe I've been hit by a limerence bomb... As it starts to fade, is it time for me to walk away? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 22, 2013 - 17 answers

How to recover from ex-boyfriend who withheld sex?

Most recent relationship did a number on my self-confidence. Help me figure out how to regain what was lost. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2013 - 17 answers

A well-balanced relationship is making me feel insecure

I have a ten year history of extremely intense borderline co-dependent relationships that consume my life. Two years ago I finally ended the cycle and started working on myself, now I'm trying to have healthy relationships, but it's not working as well as I anticipated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2013 - 11 answers

Trying to find balance in LTR.

We have been dating for a year now and spend pretty much every available moment together. But it's stressing me out, I can't see my friends, and my free time after work and wekends, which used to contain a healthy quantity of "me" time, get swallowed up by "us". How can I find a balance without hurting his feelings? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 10, 2013 - 21 answers

How much is too much when you're empathizing with a narcissist?

My BFF and former FWB-type is most likely a narcissist (*My untrained diagnosis). With every argument, fight, or disagreement, I find myself resolving things on their terms, usually because I can empathize with their emotional state and/or their "situation." So I find the logic in their position, however skewed, and I stop being upset. Probably unhealthy? To a point? ... Where's the line? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2013 - 25 answers

Why do I keep falling for men who seem to care for me when they don't?

This has been happening for a few years now, where I fall for somebody emotionally unavailable, or already in a relationship and they do not tell me until much later. It has happened every single time with men that show interest in me and it is very upsetting as it makes me feel worthless or only second best. I feel like going on a break from men, even though it would technically be a break from nothing. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 9, 2013 - 19 answers

Fairness and compensation

I feel that since older, attractive, successful guys get so much love already, I shouldn't like them. It just feels unfair, so much so that I try to deny my feelings and COMPENSATE by liking the opposite. This has terrible results. How do I stop thinking like this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 7, 2013 - 19 answers

Taking time off from a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 21 answers

I want to help you with your pain but it makes my pain hurt, too.

I'm four months into a fairly intense relationship, and drama and mental health issues have reared their ugly heads. As someone who has had recent mental health problems of my own, I'm feeling a little shaky about the whole thing; can the hive mind give me another perspective? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2013 - 13 answers

Cold Feet or Reasonable Doubts?

My boyfriend treats me wonderfully, like I'm the most important thing on the planet. Now, we are taking our first steps down a very quick path towards Full Lifetime Committment: moving-in, with the understanding that marriage and kids will follow shortly. (Why the speed? I'm 37 with some history of ladytroubles that require maximum time to try and get pregnant.) I was feeling very ready for all this 2-3 months ago, but now am having doubts. Help! Are these standard cold feet, or do you spot any red flags here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2013 - 26 answers

Time to talk, or time to move on?

Is it better to just break up with my SO, or tell them how anxious I am about moving in together? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 25, 2013 - 25 answers

We're both subs (dumb label though it may be)

How do I persuade my long-term partner to do what I need about half the time? He is not, I repeat not, a good American progressive who's been through therapy. He loves me and wants to satisfy me, but is not a willing participant in the "hey, let's have an open discussion" approach. What are some alternative tactics? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 17, 2013 - 29 answers

Has anyone had the experience of 'helping a man along' to readiness?

Recently I've met several young men who said they're not ready for a relationship. Generally, they would like to date, even "long term," meaning months, or even a year or few, but they state that they don't feel ready for finding a person to settle down with. I am, however, ready for that. My response so far has been to not date people who state this, either on OKC (e.g. "how long would you want your next relationship to last?" "a few months to a year") or in person (e.g. a guy recently asked why I don't date younger and I said it's because they're usually not ready for something serious, he said 'yeah, I'm not'), but I'm wondering if this is a mistake I should not repeat if it comes up again in the future. Please advise me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 15, 2013 - 38 answers

My anxiety about my anxiety about your drinking

So. Either my boyfriend's drinking or my anxiety about his drinking is going to ruin our (extremely awesome, otherwise very solid) relationship. I can't tell if I'm being crazy or not. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 13, 2013 - 57 answers

Stick it out or move on from this unequal relationship?

I'm in a relationship with wonderful woman (4 months) who I am falling for but should I break it off now because it's unequal? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 16 answers

Is this a legitimate reason to seek therapy?

I'm pretty happy. Some amazing things have been happening in my life lately. One of the amazing things is a new relationship with someone who might be the love of my life. Here's the rub: I'm in my early 30s, a virgin and have never had a relationship longer than 3 months. I usually run away when relationships start to get too close. This new relationship feels perfect, easy and safe, but I'm afraid I might repeat my old patterns eventually. We have just passed the 3 month mark. If my happy, falling in love self goes to therapy and tells this as my reason for seeking treatment, what will the therapist think? Do I Need therapy///or can it help me?
posted by anonymous on Feb 1, 2013 - 15 answers

Should I break up with my boyfriend?

I'm confused by my boyfriend's criticisms of my personality. I can't tell if they're legitimate problems I should work on in this relationship because I will encounter the same issues with most perceptive guys, or if it's a sign that he'll never fully accept who I am. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 31, 2013 - 82 answers

Love and sex have never worked for me and I don't understand why.

Straight guy here, mid-30s. I'm a relationship virgin apart from two or three very brief and superficial ones, and would be an actual virgin if not for a handful of sexual encounters, almost all of them very unsatisfying. I've always fantasized about love and sex but whenever things get real my heart and body seem to lose all interest. What's wrong with me and are there other people out there in the same boat? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 13, 2013 - 35 answers

Which way past this impasse?

How do I reconcile my parents and my fiance? Should I even try? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 11, 2013 - 25 answers

Help me hook up!

I haven't had sex in more than three years. I am going out of my freaking mind. One of my New Year's resolutions is that I must end this dry spell. I have a friend with whom I would like to start sharing some benefits. How do I go about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 5, 2013 - 38 answers

New relationship: Should I stay or should I go?

Should I keep working on this relatively new relationship, or throw in the towel? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 28, 2012 - 27 answers

My boyfriends borderline ex-wife is making me borderline crazy!

How should I address the fact that my boyfriend's unstable ex-wife continues to inappropriately contact him and his family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2012 - 22 answers

Help my mouth get it on

I am 24 years old and have never kissed a guy. I want to change this by my birthday 6 months from now. I have a lot of anxiety about it and am also holding onto romantic feelings for a close friend who lives far away. What's the best approach?
posted by anonymous on Dec 26, 2012 - 17 answers

how to slow things down without killing the spark?

An unexpected hookup with a coworker crush at a Christmas party has opened up the possibility of a new, exciting relationship. How do I slow things down to a comfortable pace? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 25, 2012 - 10 answers

What is intimacy?

How does emotional intimacy work in your marriage/LTR? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2012 - 18 answers

PhDating

How do you handle developing relationships in grad school? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 18, 2012 - 20 answers

Is this settling? Is that really such a bad thing?

I'm dating someone who I respect and admire more than almost anyone else I know. He loves me. But I'm not in love with him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2012 - 54 answers

If support hit me in the face I wouldn't know what I was look at

How do normal, happy couples support each other in a non-dysfunctional, healthy relationship? Not surprisingly, longish snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 13, 2012 - 36 answers

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