I dated a girl for 9 years, and we broke up last year. I now have a new girlfriend and we are both very much in love. However, my libido has all but disappeared and we are unable to have sex without great difficulty. I need advice on why this has happened and how I can address it. Thank you.
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posted by lichen
on Apr 3, 2013 -
19 answers
My older brother (in his 50s) posted something on FB regarding the Steubenville rape case, which was:
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posted by HopperFan
on Mar 17, 2013 -
52 answers
Most recent relationship did a number on my self-confidence. Help me figure out how to regain what was lost. Details inside.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 11, 2013 -
17 answers
How do I persuade my long-term partner to do what I need about half the time? He is not, I repeat not, a good American progressive who's been through therapy. He loves me and wants to satisfy me, but is not a willing participant in the "hey, let's have an open discussion" approach. What are some alternative tactics?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 17, 2013 -
29 answers
"Men want sex" and "women want romance" -- so the stereotypes go.
To what extent does the average woman believe (or not believe) in these stereotypes? Does anyone know if there is research on this? I've been searching for hours, but haven't turned up anything yet.
posted by tybeet
on Jan 31, 2013 -
11 answers
I have a friend who insists on a certain way of understanding how men and women couple off. Basically, he sees the situation as rather animalistic, where all the women are essentially waiting to be asked out, and the first men to do so get the "choicest" women. The rest of the women are left for, well, the rest of the men. Obviously, this is pretty traditional/sexist/chauvinistic. Anyway, barring all that, he feels a constant urgency to get to women "before somebody else does," because "the best women will be taken." Of course, I understand asking someone out before someone else does, but his theory is off-putting to me.
It seems like human personalities, reasoning, circumstances, geographies, and cultures throw a monkey-wrench into his theory. Things are a lot more complicated in my mind. Do you have an alternative way of seeing the dating world, have a different experience, or are there any studies that you could point me to on this subject?
posted by uncannyslacks
on Jan 23, 2013 -
38 answers
Straight guy here, mid-30s. I'm a relationship virgin apart from two or three very brief and superficial ones, and would be an actual virgin if not for a handful of sexual encounters, almost all of them very unsatisfying. I've always fantasized about love and sex but whenever things get real my heart and body seem to lose all interest. What's wrong with me and are there other people out there in the same boat?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 13, 2013 -
35 answers
On herpes and forgiveness. Nine months into our relationship, my boyfriend told me that he has HSV-2. That was almost a year ago. It still bothers me. What now?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 2, 2012 -
47 answers
Random thought/Someone must have made this question: Anyone know of an online site that allows you to map out areas on a (3D or 2D) human model as "hot" or "cold"?
I'm thinking of something that would allow people to map out their erogenous zones as they know them or discover them.
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posted by Decimask
on Nov 28, 2012 -
1 answer
This is a big ask: help me find out how to healthily move on, be comfortable with myself and have an inkling of ambition. I've had a little trouble moving on from this one relationship, and I think some perspective would be nice. It is also related to various anxieties I have now. Snowflakey details inside. Sound advice deeply, deeply appreciated.
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posted by lethologues
on Nov 9, 2012 -
12 answers
My boyfriend cleans up nice! Yay! But...how do I get him to clean up, just a wee bit more frequently? And should I?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 15, 2012 -
32 answers
Is sex vital in a marriage? Do I need a new perspective, a new conscience, counseling, or a divorce? (NSFW)
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 10, 2012 -
42 answers
This is a very difficult and embarrassing question to write. So please be kind. But essentially, I have been (involuntarily) celibate for many many years and it’s driving me CRAZY. How can I stop this decade-long dry streak? And if I can’t, how can I learn to make peace with it?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 24, 2012 -
42 answers
After taking some time off from romance, I found myself happily being circled by a guy I'm attracted to... but so far he appears to be the flirty "all talk, no action" sort. I've not dated many of this breed so I'm out of my element and have just been laying low and staying patiently ladylike. I'm in my 40s though, and I'm not gonna lie... I'm in the mood for some action and too old for games. My patience is wearing thin. Hope me!
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 24, 2012 -
19 answers
Should I (and if so, how should I) reveal to my upcoming quasi-blind quasi-date that I look different than he expects me to?
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posted by mauvest
on Aug 21, 2012 -
44 answers
I want to have sex. WITH ANOTHER PERSON. It's been way too long and all the obvious roads to finding someone have been dead ends. Halp!
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 1, 2012 -
28 answers
How can I learn to live with regret and self-hatred related to my lack of relationship and sexual experiences?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 27, 2012 -
32 answers
I can't trust my girlfriend. I haven't been able to trust past girlfriends. Help? (snowflake details ahead)
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 11, 2012 -
27 answers
The quick and dirty: I'm seeing a guy. We slept on the first date, he brought up dating exclusively and we were both in earnest, mutual agreement that neither of us were looking for a FWB type of deal. Caveat: He's moving at the end of the summer. How best to proceed? Details behind the cut to fill in the blanks...
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posted by chloe.gelsomino
on May 24, 2012 -
22 answers
Do healthy, happy couples ever have periods where one or the other feels the ennui of "I love you, but I'm not
in love with you?" If so, how do they resolve it? How do they decide if it's worth resolving?
posted by Caligula's Idiot Cousin
on Apr 10, 2012 -
12 answers
Help me remember the
NYTimes (?) article I read about the relationship between gender ratios and sexual dynamics on college campuses!
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posted by UniversityNomad
on Mar 31, 2012 -
11 answers
Ever been engaged to someone and had a lot of fear and doubts about this decision? How did you find resolution/come to a decision about those fears?
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posted by BlueMartini7
on Feb 1, 2012 -
13 answers
My partner and I feel comfortable and safe in our relationship, and we feel love for one another. But we are sexually unfulfilled, and to a smaller extent emotionally and/or intellectually troubled. How do we know whether to break up or to work at it?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 28, 2012 -
20 answers
Is it a poor idea to let your partner have sex with other people, knowing that you will be hurt by it? Will it be more likely to help or hurt our relationship if he indulges in his fantasies with other women – and is this a reasonable compromise for someone to make?
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posted by labandita
on Jan 22, 2012 -
107 answers
I'm involved in a new relationship with a guy that I like. He's what I would describe as very self-contained. Quiet, comes off as pretty shy, and requires a bit of effort to get to know. Things have recently started to get physical, but I'm finding myself frustrated because I have no idea how to read this guy's signals and moving things forward is up to me. What does complete silence mean?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 18, 2012 -
30 answers
I am feeling guilty and confused about sexual issues I had with my ex. Please help give me ideas about how I should have handled this, and what I can learn from it (sorry, this is long and a bit convoluted).
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 17, 2012 -
21 answers
Hooked up with a friend (having recently gotten out of a relationship), was I being too distant the morning after? Asking because I'm interested in hooking up again and want to know how to approach him again.
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posted by 01080591
on Dec 5, 2011 -
22 answers
They pretty much all want it and I'm feeling very discouraged. Are there HONESTLY men out there who are sexually satisfied if their partner does NOT have an orgasm?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 1, 2011 -
41 answers
I'm female in my mid-twenties and due to circumstances have been a late entrant into dating. I've been out with several guys (ages 27 - 33) and am trying to get a better handle on how quickly things move forward in terms of physical/sexual. So while every guy, girl, and experience is different, could someone share what they might consider standard in their experience? I'd be curious to know what peoples' typical natural progressions are (for a person they're dating, not a hook up) in terms of the steps, not necessarily timing. For instance, do you generally do the first base/second base/third bases in order?
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posted by sowrite
on Nov 26, 2011 -
32 answers
Can anybody recommend a sex positive relationship therapist in or near Chicago?
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 21, 2011 -
1 answer
Help me accept my sex drive and become okay with fulfilling my sexual needs outside my sexless (and open) relationship.
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posted by chameleon
on Nov 16, 2011 -
16 answers
How can I have a more sexual relationship with my boyfriend, and stop freaking out all the time? Or, how can I accept that this is the relationship we have and it's not going to change? Warning: this is going to be both long and stupid.
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posted by krakenattack
on Nov 14, 2011 -
47 answers
Seeking advice from sensible people: how to navigate weird/awkward post-hook up situation, with bonus unplanned pregnancy.
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 4, 2011 -
15 answers
I'm a twenty-something single guy in the city. I'm moderately fit and attractive; I am confident with women and get dates frequently. I'm having a hard time creating casual relationships.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 31, 2011 -
28 answers
I am really attracted to someone I know I shouldn't be, when I'm not single and I know he is not the kind of person I should be interested in. We see each other almost every day of the week, and I'm in a new city with not many other friends. How can I find my way out of this feeling?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 21, 2011 -
22 answers
