345 posts tagged with Relationships and resolved.
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Grandparents hate us, want to continue loving baby. Now what?

My husband's parents are the only grandparents my child see regularly (we live in his country rather than mine) have decided that they no longer want a relationship with us. They do, however, want to continue their bi-weekly visits to see the baby which I would be "hosting". We don't want to cut them off, but I am not enthused. Reassurance and tips on navigating this requested. I am so confused!! [more inside]
posted by jrobin276 on Aug 12, 2015 - 92 answers

When should you compromise on compromising?

An old flame who has since moved away has recently reached out to me asking if we can give things another go. I'm amenable to the idea, but I feel rather strongly that we should spend a weekend together in a neutral location before deciding anything further. Planning for this has stalled. My gut is giving me mixed signals, has this reached an end or do I need to be more flexible? [more inside]
posted by bernie60676 on Aug 11, 2015 - 31 answers

Group therapy vs. individual therapy (or both?)

I'm looking for some input on how best to proceed regarding my divorce and whether group therapy or an individual therapist would be best. [more inside]
posted by Twicketface on Aug 10, 2015 - 11 answers

Outsider by choice: how to become more active?

I find it very hard to find the motivation to get involved in social interactions or group activities. I am happy observing, only speaking up when I feel I have something unique to contribute, like when I see nobody else is saying what I have to say or is able to perform something I can do. I don't want attention for the sake of attention and am used to being an observer, but I need to change as this behavior is beginning to have a toll on my life. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by Guelder on Jul 31, 2015 - 9 answers

Leaving my 4 year relatioship, never left anyone before?

After 4 years, and recent realization of my boyfriends distasteful behavior towards me, I am deeply considering leaving my first adult relationship. I've realize that quite possibly I've never been happy. I've been plagued my anxieties and insecurities throughout most of it. It has also had it's fair share of issues. It probably isn't a good sign if leaving our relationship makes me feel more sane. I think I need advice. Inside will be most of our history of issues and some more specific questions. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Jul 29, 2015 - 23 answers

Befriending the Ex

My girlfriend wants to reconnect with a former partner and would like to invite the ex to a Big Event taking place next year. I am not comfortable with this. What to do? [more inside]
posted by Gray Skies on Jul 16, 2015 - 24 answers

What's wrong with marrying your first love?

Or what's not wrong with it? It's coming (or came) to the time where marriage is on the forefront of everyone's thoughts in my relationship. There's a lot of pressure to get married soon, and with a combination of dissenting internal and external voices, there's a lot of confusion going on in my head. [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Jul 4, 2015 - 53 answers

Toxic ex broke up with me and wants to get back together

I'm conflicted with this sensitive, hard situation. My ex of 2.5 years broke up with me roughly 4 months ago due to him recently becoming aware of his issues (anger, depression, possible bipolar disorder, childhood issues, binge eating). He seems to be increasingly struggling with his issues day by day He mentioned that he still loves/cares for me, and wants to become a better person for me, build a life together but can't do these things until he gets better. We've talked on and off after the break up. He saw me out with a new guy and is now worried about potentially losing me and wants to get back together. [more inside]
posted by ruebeignet on Jun 23, 2015 - 37 answers

Is it normal that I'm so private with my mother?

This Onion article reflects pretty well my relationship with my mother. I love her very much, but I can rarely bring myself to share much with her about my life, and when I do, I usually regret it. Is this common for men? [more inside]
posted by pot suppeck on Jun 14, 2015 - 26 answers

Meant to be or not meant to be?

I met this really great guy a few months ago (in a pretty romantic/spontaneous way) after a string of not great relationships. Everything is really healthy, relationship-wise right now. We both have loads of space to sort our brains/ lives, and the small amount of time we do spend together (looking like once a week/ once every two weeks) is really, really something special. However, he’s on a career fast track and has a hard time balancing work/family. [more inside]
posted by Kestrelxo on Jun 11, 2015 - 25 answers

Relationship Anxiety

I am dating someone in my social circle who I've know for around 8 months. We've been dating for the last 2 months. I think she's great...smart, funny, attractive. We get along well and there is lots of chemistry. I'm happy that I've been able to find someone. Being in a relationship has brought some of my insecurities to the surface. Specifically, there's a couple areas where I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by QuietType on Jun 10, 2015 - 18 answers

How to avoid traumatic encounter at wedding?

The sister of my boyfriend of 10 years! (yes i know...) is getting married and her close friend is likely to attend. This close friend and my boyfriend dated briefly before we met, so over 10 years ago - everyone was very young. About 5 years ago my boyfriend slept with her one night and I found out about this 2 years ago and was extremely hurt. I have thought a lot about it and I feel like i don't want to put myself through encountering her at the wedding. More details inside - apologies for the length. [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on Jun 7, 2015 - 46 answers

Help me survive BFE without too much misery

Partner lives and works in a rural area of the country. I have lived in cities all of my adult life. The area where he lives is beautiful, but services of all kinds are limited. It's also very conservative, and we are not. But due to circumstances to be explained, I've committed to living there for at least 3 years. Please give me your tips and suggestions for making rural life work so that I can continue to see this as an adventure and not something to resent! [more inside]
posted by sorrygottago on Jun 5, 2015 - 29 answers

Is my boyfriend not treating me kindly?

So I've been in a relationship for 7 months now. I am 22 (female) and he is 25. The other day I got a flat tire on my way to work right after I left his house (2 miles away from his house) and called him because I wasn't sure how to change my tire. I'd never had a flat and never learned how. He seemed very irritated and told me to try to figure it out and call me if I couldn't. Should I be angry that he didn't just come help me? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 26, 2015 - 103 answers

Should I end my relationship, and if so how?

I (26f) have been with my boyfriend (28m) for 6 years. I've always had doubts in the back of my mind and am thinking about ending things for the 3rd time in 2 years. Am I making the right decision, and how do I go about it? [more inside]
posted by Satsue on May 24, 2015 - 23 answers

Addressing the need for me-time in a LDR

My GF and I are currently long distance, though only for a short while longer. We're planning for me to visit her at the end of the month for four days. Due to manic work commitments and sickness, I was looking forward to having this (long) weekend to myself, but my GF has said that my not coming to visit has made her feel "not nurtured." I don't know how to address this in an adult fashion; advice is welcome (snowflakes abound…) [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on May 18, 2015 - 42 answers

Am I hurting myself in the long run, or being a good friend?

I have posted some questions before about my first relationship and would like to get some advice on whether friendship is even the right thing now. I've had conflicted feelings the entire 5 1/2 years I've known this person, and am wondering what is the right thing to do? He says he needs my support because he finally came out but could we be friends or are we going to keep hurting each other? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on May 14, 2015 - 19 answers

Should I give him an ultimatum?

My boyfriend of 10 months has hit some personal rough patches, that have created some rough spots in our relationship. At this point, this I've decided what are the deal breakers for me in this relationship but he doesn't know that. Should I tell him or would that be an ultimatum? [more inside]
posted by CosmicSeeker42 on Apr 19, 2015 - 50 answers

Thwarting loneliness in times of trial

How can I cope with the fact that I will likely be single for the next several years? [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Apr 18, 2015 - 21 answers

Hallmarks of not having "done the work"?

What are the signs of someone who hasn't pursued therapy and healing and isn't ready for a relationship? [more inside]
posted by morganw on Mar 29, 2015 - 30 answers

How do you cope with a long distance relationship?

How do you handle long distance relationships, or rather potential long distance and keep your mind off of things without dwelling on it too much? [more inside]
posted by earthquakeglue on Mar 23, 2015 - 12 answers

Politely tell former co-worker I'm not interested in staying friends?

I left a job recently, and there's a former co-worker who keeps contacting me. [more inside]
posted by arbor day on Mar 21, 2015 - 34 answers

Should I date my opposite-sex twin or find someone who complements me?

I'm shy, unassertive, and nerdy. Should I date someone just like myself or try to find someone whose strengths are my weaknesses? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on Mar 14, 2015 - 28 answers

Not twitterstalking, just twitter… observing?

A slightly weird situation has arisen in my relationship with my SO over the people I follow on Twitter. To me it feels controlling; am I overreacting? [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Mar 14, 2015 - 46 answers

Do you think this is enough for a Valentine's Day gift?

I am currently in a relationship of 4 months. I have a couple things for my boyfriend for Valentine's Day but I'm not sure if it's enough. Opinions pretty please?? :) [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Feb 14, 2015 - 13 answers

Why can I not get over my abusive boyfriend?

I broke up with my off/on boyfriend and am having a terrible time not approaching him to take me back, even though he is, um, nuts. Many words within. [more inside]
posted by DeadFlagBlues on Jan 17, 2015 - 47 answers

Struggling with myself, my feelings, and how to do life

I'm doing everything they say to heal and move on, to get your life together. I try to be as social as I can with good friends who understand the situation and am focusing as much energy into work and school. I'm afraid of burnout though and how to unravel these emotions when I'm lying awake at night and questioning if I did the right thing? [more inside]
posted by lunastellasol on Jan 6, 2015 - 7 answers

I will give you space until it comes out of your ears

It's early days in our relationship yet, and I like this guy tremendously, but his communication practices are driving me up the wall. Am I being too demanding or do I have some basis for feeling neglected? more flakey snowflakeness inside [more inside]
posted by starcrust on Dec 9, 2014 - 42 answers

Reading recommendations for someone who wants healthier relationships?

I'm a big fan of learning things by reading; reading about cognitive-behavioural therapy has been helpful in combating depression, and reading about creative conflict resolution has been helpful in relationships with family and workmates. I'd like some reading recommendations for building healthy romantic relationships, since it's something I'm ignorant about. [more inside]
posted by clawsoon on Nov 20, 2014 - 44 answers

hurting from co-worker's joke

How would you have handled this from a co-worker? [more inside]
posted by bananaskin on Oct 30, 2014 - 44 answers

Is it possible to find dates if you're a person seeking a person?

I am potentially interested in dating again. I had a breakup of a 1.5 year relationship around this time last year and feel emotionally over it. However, I feel like I will have a bit more challenges in regards to dating than the average person. (I'm mostly asexual, not very feminine, and a non-traditional undergraduate student in a college town). Special snowflakes inside... [more inside]
posted by sevenofspades on Oct 11, 2014 - 16 answers

Getting those pesky butterflies out of my stomach.

Moving on from an old crush... [more inside]
posted by Urban_Painter on Sep 14, 2014 - 7 answers

Best way to withdraw from a group without creating bad feelings?

I'm a member of the Board of Directors for a chorus; I'm also the librarian for the chorus. I'd like to withdraw from both positions by the end of the year (i.e., the choral year, meaning by May 2015), but I suspect it will be tricky to do without causing a fair amount of consternation. I'm looking for advice on the best way to go about it. [more inside]
posted by holborne on Sep 9, 2014 - 18 answers

Taking a few days for myself… now what?

After a turbulent period in my marriage, I'm taking a few days out for myself. Thing is, I don't know exactly what to do in those few days, or how best to work on things in my marriage whilst I'm away. [more inside]
posted by yasp on Sep 8, 2014 - 32 answers

Will it ever get better?

I am in my late 30s. My boyfriend is in his early 40s. We have been together for just over a year. He is attractive, gentle, smart and sensitive. We have talked about having a kid. Unfortunately we fight every other day. [more inside]
posted by i'magirl on Sep 6, 2014 - 31 answers

Facebook friends lists: How do you compartmentalize your digital life?

I'm curious to hear how everyone organizes their Facebook friends lists, and how they figure out which posts/content to disclose to which parties. How do you use your lists? What is your system? [more inside]
posted by Hawk V on Aug 31, 2014 - 17 answers

Should I go on a date with someone if I don't even want a relationship?

Is this a stupid question? Idk. I just got out of a 5 year relationship in May. I feel moved on from him but I'm still trying to put my life back together. And I don't want a relationship right now, bBut two guys have recently asked me out on dates. Idk what to say! I don't know very much about dating. I am 21. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Aug 27, 2014 - 15 answers

Communication between two hypersensitive, beanplating marshmallows

My boyfriend and I both hate making each other feel bad. Does this mean we can't talk about things that aren't going well? He in particular feels very hurt when I bring up things that are bothering me. [more inside]
posted by segfault on Aug 12, 2014 - 22 answers

What are some activities/dates I can do to boost confidence?

I haven't been feeling so confident lately. I know my SO could also be much happier if she felt a bit more confident. When we first met around 3 years ago, we were both extremely confident. Now we seem to have trouble being decisive, making decisions to better ourselves/get necessary things done, and choosing a restaurant or a date idea gets harder and harder. I would love ideas of things that could help with this. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Aug 11, 2014 - 26 answers

Partner's Abusive Ex and Communicating My Boundaries

I need advice on how to explain to my partner why I wont be attending a birthday party for the child she co-parents with her emotionally abusive ex. [more inside]
posted by peterpete on Aug 5, 2014 - 36 answers

Hello, darkness, my friend! (and guilt, and the bar exam)

The bar exam is in 3 weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt I'm not studying enough. Guilt I'm not researching and writing briefs for work fast enough. And tremendous guilt that I've been a straight-up asshole with my family and friends. I'm not good at this balancing act. [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on Jul 3, 2014 - 17 answers

It's a bad time...but when is it ever a good time?

I'm coming to realize that my partner is seriously abusing alcohol (and being cavalier about other substances) just as he's embarking on an existential crisis following a messy legal situation (finalizing a divorce that's 2+ years in the making). The relationship needs work; he needs work; hell, I might need work; but he's got a lot on his plate and I can't really pile on. I have kind of lost sight of what is reasonable here, and could use some perspective. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2014 - 30 answers

But we're in love, dammit!

How do you get over a breakup when both people were compatible and happy in the relationship? [more inside]
posted by exutima on May 31, 2014 - 15 answers

I think I caught the narcissism early...what to do?

Recently I started a relationship with someone who I now suspect has narcissistic tendencies. I feel like I should do something, but not sure if I should try to help him. [more inside]
posted by Cybria on May 22, 2014 - 18 answers

OkCupid: Why is my inbox not flooded and what's wrong with my pictures?

I'm a woman that just made a new OK Cupid account after a long hiatus. The amount of messages I'm getting are abysmal compared to when I was on the site six months ago. What am I doing wrong? [more inside]
posted by Autumn on May 2, 2014 - 49 answers

Whether and how to ask out someone I previously dated.

I'm thinking of contacting someone I previously dated to see if he wants to date again. I know there's a good chance I won't get a positive response or will just get hurt again, but I can't help the feeling that there's some kind of unfinished business here. So I want to contact him. My questions are: (a) is trying to see if he wants to date again absolutely a bad idea? and (b) if not, how do I contact him? Do I text him and just say hello and try to gauge his response before going further? Call him out of the blue to talk? See if he wants to meet up for a drink? [more inside]
posted by singlesock on Apr 12, 2014 - 17 answers

I don't know what I want, but it shouldn't be this hard

Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 3, 2014 - 25 answers

Great expectations? Maybe.

Single. Male. 30. Only child. Hetero. I don't feel the need to get married and/or my expectations of my ideal future spouse are keeping me that way? Too smart and objective for my own good? Normal or am I destined to be forever alone? [more inside]
posted by rippersid on Feb 18, 2014 - 26 answers

How do you untangle the threads of a beat-up heart?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 11, 2014 - 18 answers

Detaching whilst staying

How does one practice detachment in a codependent, anxiety-rich relationship? How can I be the husband my wife needs me to be whilst also getting what I need? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jan 22, 2014 - 47 answers

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