401 posts tagged with Relationships and resolved.
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How to grieve for a pet from afar

My ex texted me yesterday to let me know that one of her cats -- whom I referred to as my step-cats whilst we were together -- was hit by a car yesterday. I'm devastated, though I haven't seen said cat for nearly a year, and I don't know how to process it properly. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Dec 1, 2016 - 11 answers

Should I try to "grow" feelings for this person or listen to my anxiety?

I have been dating this guy for just over a month now. I knew him previously from HS, but we reconnected through a dating site. I had a huge crush on him in HS but I wasn't sure how I'd feel as that was a long time ago (25 now). Before we met I was honest and said I wanted friendship to start off with, cause I assumed he'd expect a hook up right away. We've hung out five times now, and been texting a lot but I'm not sure how I feel still. [more inside]
posted by oracleia on Nov 29, 2016 - 16 answers

Bullied by a professor; what to do?

My anatomy professor is bullying me, and it's taking a toll on my grades, and mental health. I'm reviewing all of my coursework together with her next semester; how do I assert that I have been treated in a biased way, without putting her on the defense, and in a way that gets me back the points that were docked unfairly? [more inside]
posted by erattacorrige on Nov 25, 2016 - 14 answers

Barely remembered quote about talkative women and romantic relationships

Sometime in the past year or so I read, either online or in print, something relating to compatibility and fulfillment in (hetero) relationships where the woman is one who has a fast paced brain and needs to talk and needs to be with a man who will listen and take that all in order for her to feel fulfilled in the relationship. Did you read this, too? [more inside]
posted by PaulaSchultz on Oct 20, 2016 - 6 answers

But wait, so maybe I'm NOT a garbage human being?

Need help/advice for resources for recovering from an emotionally abusive relationship with a whole mess of complications. I am the special-est of snowflakes. [more inside]
posted by FakePalindrome on Oct 18, 2016 - 14 answers

Got My Mind Set On You

Help a hopeless romantic get over her fear of asking a guy out. [more inside]
posted by Champagne Supernova on Oct 10, 2016 - 15 answers

Help my rational mind prevail.

I (26F) have just started seeing a guy (27M). I like to think of myself as an analytical, rational person, but ever since our first date I have been basically unable to properly eat, sleep, or focus on anything. Help me avoid getting swept up by my elevated dopamine and lowered serotonin levels! [more inside]
posted by schroedingersgirl on Oct 4, 2016 - 11 answers

How do I ensure recovery and healing while continuing to work with STBX?

I continue to work with my soon-to-be-ex husband and I'm having trouble coping with several aspects of this situation. One of the major issues (for me) comes from the fact that I was attempting reconciliation for the longest (while he's always felt otherwise). Would really appreciate suggestions in this regard (particularly from those who've been in similar situations). Details [long read!] inside. [more inside]
posted by satipatthana on Sep 30, 2016 - 11 answers

Should I critique my boss to their boss?

My boss has been promoted to incompetence. How can I and the others in our (very small) group help our boss be a better leader without risking our own careers? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 1, 2016 - 13 answers

I need to break up with a friend. How? What to say (or not say)?

I'm reluctantly coming to the realization that I feel uncomfortable with a longterm friendship. Due to how frequently we spend time together, I don't feel slow-fading is an option (although I'm happy to be proven wrong). How do I approach this? Should I state my reasons for wanting to end the friendship? Is it even reasonable or kind to do so? [more inside]
posted by Sudo on Aug 23, 2016 - 26 answers

The 33 Year Old (quasi) Virgin

I started out as Emma. But I've turned into Miss Bates. [more inside]
posted by ChickenBear on Aug 19, 2016 - 22 answers

It seems unhealthy to me, but what do I know

Some questions about drinking, from someone without context. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Aug 17, 2016 - 64 answers

Distinguishing right vs wrong vs right for me

Wouldn't you know, therapy has revealed that I am very much a people pleaser and I think it's slightly harming me. Now that I am right in the middle of a confusing dating situation and stressed from school, I'm not sure how to figure what's good for me--not others. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms on Aug 16, 2016 - 16 answers

Methods to build self-esteem in troubled mother?

How do I help to build self-esteem in my "crazy" (bipolar, BPD), overweight, aging, and unsuccessful mother, who lives in a small town with not much in the way of community, and who refuses to seek medical treatment for her mental health and physical issues? [more inside]
posted by erattacorrige on Jul 20, 2016 - 25 answers

They don't ask, so I don't tell

I’m starting to think that I don’t know how to make small-talk properly, or else people tend to find me very boring. Or maybe both. Most of my conversations (aside from those with close friends or family members) revolve around the other person. Should I do something differently? [more inside]
posted by alex1965 on Jun 23, 2016 - 25 answers

Late 30yr Little Person keep getting hit by Married (fetish) men. Advice

My case is very similar to this woman's story. Otherwise I feel I'm at my wits end regarding this issue. Would appreciate thoughtful answers, as I've asked this in other forums and have gotten some of the jealous lot who say I must be a flirt, I must dress sexy, I'm a hoe, etc. -- which all are not true and are really the opposite. I have strict rules of having male friends to only past work colleagues, classmates and social circles. [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Jun 17, 2016 - 17 answers

Not enthused about sibling's engagement. What to say?

My older brother just proposed to his girlfriend of ~1 year. Red flags have gone off at every turn in his rapidly-progressing relationship with her. Yesterday, he sent a message to me and my parents announcing his intentions to propose, and then it happened before I got a chance to talk with him. My question is, how do I respond to him? More details and a TWIST! inside. [more inside]
posted by Slater Sheldahl on Jun 13, 2016 - 61 answers

Time to end a 7+ year relationship?

Been together since we were kids, we're both now 25. The relationship isn't awful but it is a long way from perfect. Living together and trying to cope with past cheating, feel like I need to decide whether or not to give it everything and try to make it work or cut our losses. [more inside]
posted by sunbear on Jun 13, 2016 - 43 answers

coping with a potential crush

I have what seems to be a crush on a good friend. She is not available. What is the best way to handle this? [more inside]
posted by aaabbbccc on Jun 9, 2016 - 19 answers

Can I fix my depression to save my relationship?

I'm 26 years old, my fiance is 27. I'm not sure how much information to give, I don't want to post a wall of text. I'm mainly posting this question to hear about other people's experiences, good and bad, with working on their depression while being in a relationship. [more inside]
posted by Leaves22 on Jun 5, 2016 - 25 answers

Should I break up with him?

So, me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half. Met online shortly after I got out of a 5 year relationship. It has been an interesting relationship. I've had really good times along with bad and doubts throughout. I feel like I am bad at relationships; I don't really have standards for boyfriends or something, I don't know what my problem is, and if anyone can point it out to me it might help me... [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 31, 2016 - 36 answers

How do I fix my life?

I am about to graduate college with a business degree, a mediocre gpa, and very little experience. I have not made a single friend in college or been in a relationship. I lived with my parents for the whole entire time in college and they expect me to be married before leaving the house. I tend to succumb to extreme laziness and procrastination. I can spend 8 hours daily on the internet instead of doing homework. This procrastination has seeped into my job search. Am I ever going to be prepared for life? [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon on Apr 26, 2016 - 15 answers

Interracial relationship issues

If you are a person of colour in an interracial relationship, what do you expect of your partner in terms of understanding racial issues? In what ways do they show you they are an ally to POC? How much emotional labour do you do to help them with that? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Apr 23, 2016 - 14 answers

Did I push away my soulmate?

I ended it with a man I loved, he hates me. Do I leave him to cool off and try again in a few months? I want to make him understand the reasons why I ended it. [more inside]
posted by newthirdworld on Mar 30, 2016 - 21 answers

My husband won't listen to me talk about work

My husband completely shuts down when I talk to him about problems I'm having at work. This is the only topic of conversation that he automatically shuts down, in two minutes or fewer. It has been ongoing, and I feel like I have to lie and say work is "fine" when he asks, or just swallow up my negative feelings. What's going on here? [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on Mar 29, 2016 - 72 answers

Help me not be defined by my losses

I let the losses of loved ones, which I have experienced quite a lot over the years, define who I am and how I behave. I'm in therapy and working on it, but I'm looking for advice from people who fear losing others on how to deal with that ever-present shadow. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Mar 1, 2016 - 9 answers

Folding without breaking: define long-term relationship compatibility?

Help me define long-term relationship compatibility. How do /you/ define it, or, what do /you/ think compatibility is all about? [more inside]
posted by dubhemerak3000 on Feb 25, 2016 - 23 answers

How do I trust myself with affirmations after a recent breakup?

How do I trust myself with affirmations if I constantly seek validation from external sources, especially intimate relationships? I am coming out of a recent breakup that triggered severe anxiety and dependency. I am keeping busy after the breakup (it has been 2.5 weeks) but I still feel like there is something missing from my recovery process. I am seeking professional help soon (I have an appointment scheduled) but I find anecdotal examples of others' experiences to be extremely helpful. [more inside]
posted by modernman on Feb 10, 2016 - 7 answers

Did I miss the boat in life? Will I be able to maintain relationships?

If you are successful in maintaining relationships, maybe you can answer some questions. My main concern is that I haven’t developed typically like others. When I went to high school, I was depressed and had social anxiety. Therefore, I didn’t have any kind of high school experience-no friends, no funny stories, no major personal development, and no boyfriends. [more inside]
posted by crystal_stair on Feb 8, 2016 - 28 answers

A friendship ending unexpectedly

A friend who has meant the world to me has ended our friendship because...well, I'm not sure. [more inside]
posted by Champagne Supernova on Feb 8, 2016 - 28 answers

Help me be as supportive as possible while pregnant and full of anxiety

I'm 32 weeks pregnant with my first child. Meanwhile, my sweetie's father is succumbing to cancer (so, by the way, is my stepmom, whom I love dearly). I'm interested in tips on how to cope with tough stuff like this while pregnant, how to both be supportive and get the support I need right now. [more inside]
posted by Lisitasan on Feb 5, 2016 - 11 answers

Shaving every day as the price of admission for sex

Had a tiff last night with my boyfriend regarding leg stubble. When I tried to get frisky he told me I needed to go shave first since it had been three days. This has come up before and I'm feeling a bit hurt and resentful. He insisted he was joking and didn't care if I'd shaved. Do I need to just let it go? [more inside]
posted by Chkalovskaya on Jan 30, 2016 - 156 answers

Ok to still be friends with someone you have slept with in the past?

Say you're in a committed monogamous relationship. Your partner has a friend with whom they once had a one-night-stand, which was a singular event at the start of the friendship. This friend is close with your partner, and they discuss personal things like sex, and talk regularly. Is this ok, or not? Snowflakes within. [more inside]
posted by mymbleth on Jan 23, 2016 - 46 answers

How has your extended family handled your poly relationship?

Asking for a writing project (not in need of personal guidance). Have you told your parents, siblings, aunts, etc. about your "other" partner(s)? How do you handle family gatherings/occasions, and more importantly, how much or how little have your (or your partners') family accepted it? For lack of a better phrase, what happened when you "came out" as poly? [more inside]
posted by scaryblackdeath on Jan 3, 2016 - 7 answers

How to be okay with the ex-wife at Christmas (and other family events)

How do you deal with new partners with adult kids - and more importantly, the ex partners! Asking for my MIL (I haven't told her I'm doing this, I just want to be a good DIL and want some good advice to give her - whether she accepts it or not is another matter, that will probably be down to how I present it...) [more inside]
posted by finding.perdita on Dec 26, 2015 - 20 answers

Feeling ambivalent about my relationship, but I don't know how to say so

In recent weeks I've started to notice that I've become ambivalent about my relationship with my GF. Recently she was away for a weekend and I realised that I didn't miss her all that much. I think that I need to talk to her about this but I don't know how to do it fairly and kindly. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Dec 17, 2015 - 32 answers

Tell me this isn't limerence

I have been pretty sure I like this girl for a while now, and now that the issue has been raised and left unresolved, I'm in crisis mode and don't know what I'm feeling. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Dec 13, 2015 - 12 answers

Is there some Facebook tradecraft I need to learn?

For the sake of relationship harmony I've created a Facebook profile. How can I use Facebook without having it become an intrustive and hateful thing in my life? [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 19, 2015 - 30 answers

How do I not want a relationship?

How can I become satisfied enough by non-relationship pursuits that a relationship no longer feels necessary? Using "relationship" to mean a romantic relationship, here. [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Nov 4, 2015 - 20 answers

In matters of love, do you let the head rule over the heart?

In a relationship that is heading towards marriage, how do you decide on how much to compromise on? Does being practical trump being emotional when in a relationship? How do you make big life decisions? [more inside]
posted by rippersid on Nov 3, 2015 - 83 answers

When the past is present

I'm coming to terms with some things that have happened to me and I seriously *need* to see what healthy, well-adjusted members of the public can tell me: [more inside]
posted by a knot unknown on Nov 2, 2015 - 28 answers

Asked him not to sleep with other people, received bizarre response

I asked the guy I've been seeing for a few months not to sleep with other people. He freaked out and refused to answer, but is now messaging me like everything is completely normal. How do I respond? [more inside]
posted by Penguin48 on Oct 29, 2015 - 128 answers

Have you published an essay about people you know?

I've written an essay about my relationship with my ex. What are your experiences with publishing personal essays about friends or family members? [more inside]
posted by Tenzing_Norgay on Oct 12, 2015 - 21 answers

I need to hear you say it

I like to hear the words "I love you" more than my partner likes to say them. What to do? [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Oct 7, 2015 - 18 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend that I love him? If so, how?

We've been dating for three months. I love him, but he hasn't said it yet, and I don't know if I want to say it first. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 5, 2015 - 20 answers

Help me clean up this oral sex misunderstanding

I didn't go down on her. How do I tell her why? [more inside]
posted by trinity8-director on Oct 2, 2015 - 17 answers

Are polyamorous relationships more stable?

I've seen a lot of couples go through serious relationship issues when both members of the couple are under significant stress simultaneously - does it help to have a third (or fourth) "partner" to stabilize the relationship when two of the members of the relationship are losing their minds? [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Sep 14, 2015 - 31 answers

What's it like to be with a girl whom you love more than she loves you?

I guess I'm mostly interested in guys' perspectives here, although I'd be interested to hear from girls too (whatever your sexual preference). Have you ever been in a relationship with a girl whom you loved significantly more than you felt loved by her? What did that feel like? How was the relationship and how did it end? Did you ever discuss this with her? [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Sep 5, 2015 - 10 answers

How do I ask for what I need/want without guilt-tripping people?

In the aftermath of a pretty fulfilling relationship that lasted almost a year, I've come to realize that I have never learned how to ask people for what I need in relationships without making people feel guilty for saying no. This might be a long one. Does anyone know of good books on how to do this or any suggestions/advice? [more inside]
posted by oogenesis on Sep 4, 2015 - 16 answers

Finally pulled the plug on relationship, feeling confused.

I finally pulled the plug on my relationship after I realized I had been unhappy for most of it. My boyfriend was surprisingly understanding and respectful about it. I have a flight in a week, but I find myself often wondering if I’ve done the right thing. I’m worried I might back out of leaving and I need help. Our history and wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by AdriftInSpace on Aug 24, 2015 - 20 answers

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