50 posts tagged with Relationships and money.
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Procedural/ethical question that may sound like a relationship question

This is a financial/procedural/ethical question, not a relationship question. My SO and I recently bought a house together. The loan is in SO's name, because we got a better rate that way. SO is therefore the official owner right now. Our verbal agreement upon commencing the search for a house, and what we both decided was fair, was that my name would be added to the deed after we closed. We also talked about what we'd do if we split up, and we agreed that one would buy the other out, or we'd split the money from the sale of the home (minus our individual contributions to the down payment). We've moved in, and in typical fashion, haven't gotten around to the deed bit. Actual question after the jump. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 29, 2014 - 23 answers

How do I handle destination wedding money stress?

A friend of my girlfriend's is getting married in Asia over Christmas 2014. She's planning to go, and wants me to accompany her (and, money aside, I'd like to go). She'll be upset and disappointed if I don't, and is already upset and disappointed that I'm balking. She makes enough money to afford the trip without financial contortions, and...I don't, or don't feel like I do. This is a recurring point of contention in our relationship, and, generally, I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable, she's being unreasonable, or a little bit of both. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 26, 2014 - 58 answers

How to be supportive when you're really worried about the future?

My husband is miserable at his job and would like to change. This will likely mean a cut in our income and taking on more debt for him to go to school. How can I be more supportive when I worry about the change in our financial circumstances? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 15, 2014 - 48 answers

Middle distance relationship, no car, money issues? Here!

30 miles apart, without a car to have date nights and with a boyfriend unwilling to share expenses despite having little money. Result: us not doing much of anything and me feeling guilty and stuck. [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Nov 7, 2013 - 50 answers

Elusive dreams and schemes: how to deal with artist partner and money?

I am really at a point of not knowing how to proceed. I love my family very much, my kids and my husband. But my husband is slowly driving me crazy. He is an artist -- we met in another country from where we were both born and I moved to his country. That was more than ten years ago -- lots happened: kids, health and family issues, but I started working freelance and now have a strong client list and make pretty okay money. Now I'm making most of the money for the family. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 11, 2013 - 15 answers

My boyfriend is really tight with money. How do I navigate this?

My partner is a tight-arse, and I hate it. Can you please help me negotiate this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 16, 2013 - 56 answers

Where to go next in personal finance journey?

How to balance saving, paying off debt, improving living situation, having a baby, getting spouse more involved in finances, better managing retirement accounts, and a partridge in a pear tree. [more inside]
posted by wannabecounselor on Jun 4, 2013 - 14 answers

Engagement didn't work out - but she's still on the mortgage

So I got engaged and bought a house with my fiancee. We lived together for a couple of years but it did not go well and she moved out. So I'd like to keep the house but do that I'll need to get her off the mortgage and off the deed. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 22, 2013 - 23 answers

Healthy ways of working with financial imbalances in relationships?

I grew up in a lower-middle-class family. Through a combination of hard work, opportunity and luck, I find myself in my 30's with a very decent net worth. It's enough to allow me to feel very secure about retirement, job/career changes, health issues, supporting family, etc. and this security is probably the most important aspect of money to me. For me, money means security, safety, freedom. I maintain a very middle-class lifestyle, continue to work full-time and save at a reasonable rate. I've started to realize how much this factors into my thinking about long term relationships, especially marriage (and its attendant family joining) and financial co-mingling, and am looking for some perspectives on positive ways of managing these kinds of issues. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2013 - 21 answers

I'm a miser, he's a spendthrift - how do we compromise and coexist?

So, I'm with this guy, and we hope to spend the rest of our lives together. I'm a Millennial saver* and he's a Gen X spender. He has a middle class income (around 40k), and I make half of that. When it comes to our arguments, it may also be of relevance that he's a human and I'm more of a Vulcan. How do we reconcile our opposing viewpoints about finances, trust, and gadgets? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 11, 2013 - 60 answers

How Does a New Couple Start Having Regular Money Talks?

My main squeeze is moving in! Our finances are starting to be a little more comingled and I'm looking for the best, healthiest way to start having a regular "money check-in" as part of our new life together. He is on board with this. How do we structure the conversation? Is there a sample agenda? Do we make it a date night? Help, please. [more inside]
posted by amoeba on Mar 26, 2013 - 12 answers

I love you, now here is all my money.

Stupidly loaned boyfriend money too early in a relationship; are we doomed? [more inside]
posted by sunshine37 on Jul 27, 2012 - 46 answers

Not another relationship questions!

Really, I'm NOT a princess. Successfully navigating the living style/lifestyle differences in the beginning of a relationships. How? [more inside]
posted by BlueMartini7 on Jul 8, 2012 - 30 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

Husband's mental health problems led him to compulsively spend over £27,000 (about $44,000) while I supported both of us for three years. I know he'll work hard on therapy, but I don't know if I should divorce him. Should I try and forgive? [warning, long!] [more inside]
posted by TriparteGoddess on Apr 29, 2012 - 62 answers

Is love enough?

Is this fair? Working for three years on boyfriend's business for living expenses only. Middle-aged woman in Australia wants to know. [more inside]
posted by the fish formerly known as sarcastic fringehead on Apr 1, 2012 - 63 answers

Home-Not-So-Sweet-Home

My boyfriend wants to buy a house. I don't. How do we work through this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 29, 2012 - 48 answers

Am I really this shallow?

Doubts after a breakup: hit me with that frying pan one more time and I might actually get it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 16, 2012 - 43 answers

Money is power. Power corrupts.

I've realized there's a hole in my new-relationship toolkit, and it has to do with money - specifically, substantial income imbalances. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 4, 2012 - 26 answers

Was this (ex)relationship problem properly handled?

Recently, I said some harsh things to an ex whom until recently I had remained very good friends with. These things had been boiling inside me for months and I had to say them at this point. However, ever since I said them, she has disappeared from her online profiles (which she updated multiple times every day), I have no way of contacting her, and I'm worried. Obviously there's a lot going on, and some of it may be serious. [more inside]
posted by marriedtotacos on Dec 18, 2011 - 33 answers

He makes more but wants us to pay equally

How to fairly split expenses in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2011 - 50 answers

My mother has pledged unlimited funds to help me acquire a nice girlfriend. What should I do?

My mother has given me the go-ahead to spend all the family money I need to help attract a nice girlfriend. What are some fun things I can do? [more inside]
posted by mnop on Sep 20, 2011 - 76 answers

Should I swallow my pride and not look a gift horse in the mouth?

My boyfriend wants to help with my finances. I've always prided myself on being financially independent, but as of late, I REALLY need some help. How do I handle this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 8, 2011 - 33 answers

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change!

How do I stop resenting my girlfriend's behaviour towards her ex? [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 14, 2010 - 23 answers

Developing a deft touch with help

My partner, who is poor, has lost part of her source of income. I found out through very gentle prying she has no back-up, and I can easily afford to help her. I would like to do that without creating power asymmetry. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 13, 2010 - 13 answers

He wants a wedding and I don't. Help!

The thought of planning a wedding makes me (female, mid-twenties) want to break out into hives. Problem: my (male, mid-twenties) partner LOVES weddings and desperately wants one. HELP! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 13, 2010 - 40 answers

how long is too long to wait?

Unemployed significant other filter: how long is too long to wait? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 30, 2010 - 61 answers

How do I feel more secure about the amount of money I make?

How do I feel more secure about the amount of money I make? [more inside]
posted by plungerjoke on Aug 26, 2010 - 33 answers

Life stinks, I'd like to change it.

I should probably talk to a therapist, but what can I do ON MY OWN regarding general distaste for my life complicated by apathetic depression? Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2010 - 19 answers

Is borrowing money in a relationship this way a no-no?

Is borrowing money early in a relationship out of line? How do I set boundaries and determine if I am definitely being taken advantage of? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 7, 2010 - 12 answers

How can I figure out if my uncle is really sick?

My uncle has cancer...allegedly, and our family members are rallying together to help him. How can I give without feeling like a sucker? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Jul 19, 2010 - 11 answers

I blew $20,000 by dropping out of college mid-semester. Where do I go from here?

I blew $20,000 of my parents' money in a decision that I've admitted to them was the most unforgivable, shameful thing I've ever done. How do I make this right? [more inside]
posted by gacxllr9 on Jun 11, 2010 - 88 answers

If it takes two pens to draw a pattern, which one's out of kilter?

My boyfriend feels he can't trust me. I want him to, and I want to make things work, but we need to break this pattern. What now? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2010 - 26 answers

I don't want for it to be over, but it might be over.

RelationshipFilter: After about a year of dating weirdos and loons, I met someone really neat. The problem: He's unemployed. Has been for a while. We've been dating for several months, and it's getting to the point at which I'm realizing that I really dig him. He seems to be pretty irresponsible, which makes me anxious. Is this relationship doomed? [more inside]
posted by kittenplease on May 7, 2010 - 33 answers

How can I get a better job quickly to save my relationship?

I'm stuck. I'm 25, and I moved to Brooklyn 6 months ago with my girlfriend of 8 years. The plan was that I'd find a better job when we moved here, but I haven't been able to get one. Now my girlfriend is going to leave, and I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 12, 2010 - 37 answers

Should he move now or later?

I got a great job across the country and I’m planning to take it. The question is if my fiancé should leave his current job to relocate with me or wait until he has a new job lined up to move. [more inside]
posted by watch out for turtles on Feb 15, 2010 - 7 answers

Give me money to fly to my honey

Best credit cards to earn travel reward points within the US so I can visit my beloved frequently? [more inside]
posted by mlo on Jan 10, 2010 - 11 answers

He IS heavy, he's my brother

I'm closing the family bank/charity. What do I say when the next sibling asks for a "loan"? [more inside]
posted by sfkiddo on Dec 26, 2009 - 29 answers

Please help me reclaim my car.

How do I get my car back? It's still in my ex'es name. I've been giving her $$ for insurance and have been making the payments on it since 2003. I live across the country now and she ignores all my requests to do anything about transferring the title/policy, etc. [more inside]
posted by otis24 on Feb 20, 2009 - 7 answers

Keep the Money? Share the Money? Stupid Money.

I have a bit of a dilemma. I dated this guy last year, and he introduced me to a friend in order to get him hired at my company. Flash forward to now, and he's finally been hired, and a referral bonus is coming my way. More deets inside, natch. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2008 - 69 answers

Is a joint credit card a good or bad idea?

My fiancé and I are considering getting a joint credit card and I had a few questions about it. [more inside]
posted by ml98tu on Feb 11, 2008 - 6 answers

Love and Money

My husband of five months and I have different attitudes towards money. He’s more money conscious that I am, at least, that’s what he calls it. I think of his “money-consciousness” as a cross between minor cheapness and money obsession. I am right now at a crossroads in the relationship and I don’t know how to solve it or whether I should even continue it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 8, 2008 - 56 answers

I'm to sad to think of a funny title.

My boyfriend is bad with money. I knew this when I met him, and for the first year or so of our relationship it was mostly one of his more grating personality quirks, nothing truly irritating and definitely not a dealbreaker. At the time my attitude was that as long as it didn't affect me, as long as he wasn't asking for help, and as long as his poor decisions didn't render him homeless or hungry, it wasn't my problem. Except now it is. [more inside]
posted by chichimimizu on Aug 19, 2007 - 98 answers

Can I handcuff this guy to the gate?

Help me turn in a deadbeat dad. [more inside]
posted by j_gd00 on Jun 4, 2007 - 22 answers

How do I stop judging my significant other's spending habits?

How do I stop judging my significant other's spending habits? (more inside) [more inside]
posted by onepapertiger on Sep 1, 2006 - 49 answers

Our Money, Our Presents.

I am a little confused regarding the shared economics of a long term serious relationship; specifically, how it relates to gift giving. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2006 - 28 answers

Take the job or leave it?

Should I stay or should I go now? How do I decide? [more inside]
posted by Koffeeman on Jul 6, 2006 - 20 answers

Is there a good way to offer to help out my boyfriend financially?

I make more money than my boyfriend. Normally this isn't a big deal, and has pretty much never come into play in our relationship (we've been together over a year). But lately he's been broke (his work's dependent on the weather, which has been crappy lately and so he hasn't been able to work much, thru no fault of his own). I'm in a position to help, but the situation seems rather delicate. Thoughts about how to proceed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2006 - 26 answers

How can a young stud meet a rich old lady?

How, and where, does a twenty-something guy find a rich sugar momma? [more inside]
posted by ThePinkSuperhero on Feb 27, 2005 - 39 answers

Handling money in a relationship.

How do you handle money within your relationship? [more inside]
posted by croutonsupafreak on Feb 17, 2005 - 37 answers

How to go Dutch in a Relationship

After reading this thread, a similar question came to mind. I have always been raised with the notion that you pay a girl's way as a gentleman, but as a student (and a poor one at that) this is often not entirely possible. My current girlfriend makes far more money than I do acting and modeling, and so she pays for the vast majority of our 'go out' experiences. This was fine for the first few months, but it's been over a year now and I feel like it somehow emasculates me to be taken out to dinner on a regular basis by my girlfriend. I know this seems sexist, but in all honesty I would love to just be able to pay my way (half) and not feel guilty/less-of-a-man. At times this feeling has gotten to the point that we've fought about what she can buy me, because of the way it makes me feel indebted (although she never holds it above me in any way). I do feel, though, that she uses her ability to buy me things as a way to make herself indispensable, to ensure I would never find 'anything better'. Should I tell her to stop taking me out and buying me extravagant gifts I can never repay (she took me to Amsterdam for my 21st birthday, for example), or just realize I'm the luckiest man in the world and stop bitching? Somehow I suspect the latter...
posted by anonymous on Feb 6, 2005 - 31 answers

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