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182 posts tagged with Relationships and marriage. (View popular tags)
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The "how" and the "who first"

While my concerns about divorcing my spouse are numerous, there are two in particular that I could really use some advice on. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2014 - 20 answers

Marriage in trouble, wife refuses relationship counseling. What next?

My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

Yeah, so the real reason I didn't come to your party....

Do I tell a good friend that I've been avoiding him because my husband's jealous of the friendship? Gory details and backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Jun 8, 2014 - 26 answers

In a relationship, in love with a friend, need to make some decisions

I’m in a stable and loving relationship that is approaching the deadline for commitment. I’ve had strong feelings for someone else for a long time, which I’ve managed to control, but have recently resurfaced with a vengeance, and are making me seriously question whether to commit. Help! [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on May 27, 2014 - 33 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

Intelligent resources about stages of a long-term relationship

I'd like to learn a little bit more about what couples counselors, therapists, and psychologists have written about the stages that long-term relationships go through, what the issues and concerns are in the different stages, and what approaches are helpful in keeping the relationship strong at different stages. The articles I've been able to find on the web are pretty shallow, and seem to assume that the purpose of marriage is to have kids. I'd like to find something that is more appropriate to a couple who got married at 40+ so have already attained (presumably) a certain degree of wisdom, and for whom kids are not in the picture or in the cards. Authors that I have found helpful and intelligent in the past have been Gottman, Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight), and the author of perennial AskMe favorite The Five Love Languages. I'm specifically interested in the 5-10 year stage, but welcome broader surveys as well.
posted by matildaben on Jan 29, 2014 - 5 answers

Detaching whilst staying

How does one practice detachment in a codependent, anxiety-rich relationship? How can I be the husband my wife needs me to be whilst also getting what I need? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jan 22, 2014 - 47 answers

Just not into him or fears from the past? 35f ponders marriage, again.

TL/DR: My BF (30) and I have been together a year and 1/2. Moved too fast for me, and him too in retrospect. Never got on my own feet after bad divorce and that feeling has endured the length of my current relationship. Close friend and 1000000 people on Meta suggest breaking up. But...I panic at that, too. [more inside]
posted by dollyllama on Jan 9, 2014 - 25 answers

How do I deal with my spouse having an external romantic relationship?

I found out my partner of 20 years/spouse of 11 was having an emotional/romantic affair with our best friend and lied to me about it. Now that we've gone through the initial reveal, I've told her I've forgiven her; she's hinting she's been thinking about romantic relationships outside of our marriage. tl;dr- Are we done here or can this be saved? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2013 - 49 answers

Struggling to forgive my SO's emotional cheating

How can I forgive my SO (and myself) for emotionally cheating on each other? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 12, 2013 - 12 answers

We are "on a break". How long should it last?

My fiancee and I have been together for seven-and-a-half years, owned a house together for three, and in the spring of this year she agreed to marry me. Last week she told me, quite out of the blue, that she wanted a break from our relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 18, 2013 - 40 answers

How to prevent divorce when travelling the world with one's spouse?

My husband and I are about to embark on an extended period of travel together. It has been our dream for many years to do this, and now the time has arrived: we've quit our jobs, rented our house, and we leave the country on a one-way ticket to warm climes in about 2 weeks. We're going to be together A LOT for the next several months. What can we do to prevent strangling one another (figuratively speaking, of course) or causing a huge crisis in our marriage with so much (too much?) togetherness? [more inside]
posted by Halo in reverse on Oct 4, 2013 - 35 answers

What is the ideal age gap in heterosexual relationships?

A growing body of scientific research suggests that the ideal age gap between a man and a woman is fifteen years, provided that the latter is younger so as to mitigate the effect of the midlife crisis. Yet, conventional wisdom posits that the half-your-age-plus-seven rule and that the three to six years rule are equally valid. What do you think? [more inside]
posted by lotusmish on Sep 27, 2013 - 55 answers

What's a good town for a single man in his late 30s...

What's a non-US city that might be especially good for a 38-year old divorced straight male looking to meet a woman and settle down? Much more specific details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2013 - 37 answers

Need advice: Is it time for a divorce, or do I ride this out?

Should I seriously be considering a divorce now, or give it more time? And if I do want to initiate a split--how do I do it, since this will totally blindside him? What else should I do to prepare if it comes to that? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2013 - 27 answers

Partner lied about previous sexual partners & his faithfulness

A lie of omission, to be more accurate. When I met my (now) husband he understood that I hadn’t had sex and didn’t plan on it before marriage, and that I was looking for someone with similar beliefs about sex. Because he knew this, he was honest and told me that he had been in a long-term relationship with someone before for 7 years - I was fine with this. But I recently discovered that he had sex with 3 different women right as he was getting to know me, (one of whom I've since met at one of his work parties, and cringe to think I was the only one in the group who didn't know about this), and he didn't feel it was important to tell me about it when he proposed to me. [more inside]
posted by Zee101 on Aug 21, 2013 - 43 answers

What is going on here? (Relationship clarity)

Some advice needed on a newly poly marriage...issues regarding imbalance of resources/effort, feelings of rejection, control issues, etc Please PM me if you think that will be more helpful. [more inside]
posted by queenba on Aug 15, 2013 - 41 answers

How hard should reconciliation be?

My wife and I separated at the end of last year for a three-month period. We've now ended our separation and have moved back in together. Whilst things are often wonderful, they're equally as often stressful and hard work. My question is: how hard should it be? Snowflakes, wall-of-text inside. [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jul 24, 2013 - 28 answers

Relationship!: The Game (Probably WON'T Supplant Hungry Hungry Hippos)

What activities/questions/elements would YOU include in a [card and/or board] game meant to serve as part of the "maintenance work" of a romantic relationship? [more inside]
posted by julthumbscrew on Jul 12, 2013 - 11 answers

I am afraid of commitment. Should I get married?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years. She is 28, I am 42. She really wants to get married and have kids. Part of me likes that idea a lot, but another side of me has extreme anxiety around the idea of commitment. I have struggled with anxiety since my early 20s and have undergone a lot of therapy, and while I understand what the anxiety is and where it comes from, no one has been able to “cure” me of it to the point where suddenly the things I’m anxious about don’t bother me any more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 23 answers

Healthy ways of working with financial imbalances in relationships?

I grew up in a lower-middle-class family. Through a combination of hard work, opportunity and luck, I find myself in my 30's with a very decent net worth. It's enough to allow me to feel very secure about retirement, job/career changes, health issues, supporting family, etc. and this security is probably the most important aspect of money to me. For me, money means security, safety, freedom. I maintain a very middle-class lifestyle, continue to work full-time and save at a reasonable rate. I've started to realize how much this factors into my thinking about long term relationships, especially marriage (and its attendant family joining) and financial co-mingling, and am looking for some perspectives on positive ways of managing these kinds of issues. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 27, 2013 - 21 answers

I just found out my ex got married, I'm hurt, why do I feel down?

Over the past 5 months I've posted three questions here on how to get over my ex. I've tried all the advice people have given on here and it has helped. Recently I thought I was almost over things and in a good enough place to work on being genuinely friends. Then she tells me she just got married. I don't know if I'm more shocked that she got married to someone in less than 5 months or just that she's just married. Either way, she doesn't want to communicate anymore, which I can respect. So is the reason I'm feeling down is because I feel rejected again? I know this should conclude things for me but I still think about it and I know I shouldn't. Why can't I just leave it and move on?
posted by kser333 on Apr 14, 2013 - 26 answers

Putting a Humpty-Dumpty marriage together again.

My wife and I separated six months ago. Now, after marriage and individual counselling, it looks like we might be ready to give things another shot. How do we go about re-integrating our lives whilst there are still small alarm bells ringing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 32 answers

Cold Feet or Reasonable Doubts?

My boyfriend treats me wonderfully, like I'm the most important thing on the planet. Now, we are taking our first steps down a very quick path towards Full Lifetime Committment: moving-in, with the understanding that marriage and kids will follow shortly. (Why the speed? I'm 37 with some history of ladytroubles that require maximum time to try and get pregnant.) I was feeling very ready for all this 2-3 months ago, but now am having doubts. Help! Are these standard cold feet, or do you spot any red flags here? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 27, 2013 - 26 answers

To stay [gone] or go [back]?

My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 26, 2013 - 40 answers

My boyfriends borderline ex-wife is making me borderline crazy!

How should I address the fact that my boyfriend's unstable ex-wife continues to inappropriately contact him and his family? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 27, 2012 - 22 answers

What is intimacy?

How does emotional intimacy work in your marriage/LTR? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2012 - 18 answers

How young is too young to get engaged?

What are some good SECULAR reads (books or websites are both great) on getting engaged, marriage, etc.? Particularly for those who are not engaged but would like to get engaged in the (maybe not-so-distant) future. Also, some relationship-specific questions inside. Primarily, when's a good time to get engaged? [more inside]
posted by BenS on Dec 18, 2012 - 30 answers

Help me come up with “exciting” and “pleasant” experiences for us to do together as a couple.

Help me come up with “exciting” and “pleasant” experiences for us to do together as a couple. [more inside]
posted by booksandwine on Dec 14, 2012 - 22 answers

Remind me to text "I love you."

The "jazz up my marriage" app -- what's it called and where do I get it? [more inside]
posted by spunweb on Nov 30, 2012 - 4 answers

He ain't heavy, he's my soulmate

I'm the one who works and he is financially dependent on me. How can I make him never, ever feel like a burden? [more inside]
posted by dean winchester on Nov 23, 2012 - 25 answers

how to initiate a separation?

i'm unhappy in my marriage but my wife is very dependent on me. how do i do this? [more inside]
posted by saraswati on Nov 12, 2012 - 22 answers

Open relationship friendly therapist in Vancouver, BC?

Can you recommend a good therapist in Vancouver, BC with experience with open relationship/marriage and LGBT issues? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2012 - 0 answers

If we get married, does she lose social security?

My fiancée and I are thinking of getting married in a few months and we're both still in school, I work part time and make about $20,000 a year. She does not work but receives vocational rehab and Social Security (SSI) for her permeant disability she was born with. [more inside]
posted by snow_mac on Oct 9, 2012 - 7 answers

When is a marriage worth fighting for, and when to move on?

When is a marriage worth fighting for, and when to move on? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 8, 2012 - 26 answers

Unforeseen obstacles to intercultural marriage?

What do you wish you had known before you embarked on an intercultural relationship/marriage? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 4, 2012 - 37 answers

Between a rock and a hard place

I have recently separated from my wife of 6 years and have moved out of the family home into temporary accommodation. It has been about a month since I left and I am in a very confused place at the moment. My wife has put forward an ultimatum that is tearing me apart and I would appreciate some perspective from the hive mind. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 25, 2012 - 79 answers

What fun things should we do before having kids?

AdviceFilter: What life experiences (or fun things) should my partner and I make time for, before having a baby? [more inside]
posted by amoeba on Sep 19, 2012 - 19 answers

Is it possible to get through a hard time in a relationship?

Tell me about how you worked through a difficult period of your relationship and had it turn out well. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 8, 2012 - 27 answers

Advice for doing a best man speech for someone you hardly know?

Earlier this year I was asked by a friendly co-worker to be his best man. I accepted against my better judgement because I got the sense he had no one else he could ask. Now faced with writing an appropriate heartfelt (possibly humorous) speech I am at a loss. [more inside]
posted by iheijoushin on Jul 23, 2012 - 20 answers

This Proposal Is Over Starting Right Now

How do you cope with waiting for a proposal that isn't likely to come? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 13, 2012 - 36 answers

"All I really want to do, is baby be friends with you"

My wife unfriended me on Facebook - what's the appropriate/healthy response? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 2, 2012 - 46 answers

Some semblance of normality?

I'm increasingly certain that my marriage is  dying, and I need some help negotiating the time between now and my first realtionship counselling appointment. (Apologies for the long post) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 24, 2012 - 27 answers

How to get over feelings of betrayal and build trust again in my marriage.

I want to get over feelings of betrayal and build trust again in my marriage. How do I bring it up to my husband? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2012 - 25 answers

Should I stay or should I go?

Husband's mental health problems led him to compulsively spend over £27,000 (about $44,000) while I supported both of us for three years. I know he'll work hard on therapy, but I don't know if I should divorce him. Should I try and forgive? [warning, long!] [more inside]
posted by TriparteGoddess on Apr 29, 2012 - 62 answers

Separated from wife, got involved with someone else, should I reconcile with my wife?

I've been separated from my wife for over six months. During that time I got involved with someone else, but now I'm thinking about going back to my wife. Please tell me I'm not making a mistake. [more inside]
posted by quoth_the_raven on Apr 23, 2012 - 53 answers

How to keep falling in love with my wife?

Resources on how to foster passion and "have fun" with your spouse? [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Apr 23, 2012 - 16 answers

Breaking up is hard to do

I'm ending my marriage. How do I do it with kindness? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 9, 2012 - 25 answers

Any hope?

My wife and I are becoming incompatible, can this be fixed or should I start thinking about heading for the exit [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 20, 2012 - 49 answers

How do I love better?

I really don't want to end up alone. What can I start doing to break this generational cycle? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 26, 2012 - 12 answers

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