I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years. She is 28, I am 42. She really wants to get married and have kids. Part of me likes that idea a lot, but another side of me has extreme anxiety around the idea of commitment. I have struggled with anxiety since my early 20s and have undergone a lot of therapy, and while I understand what the anxiety is and where it comes from, no one has been able to “cure” me of it to the point where suddenly the things I’m anxious about don’t bother me any more.
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 10, 2013 -
23 answers
I grew up in a lower-middle-class family. Through a combination of hard work, opportunity and luck, I find myself in my 30's with a very decent net worth. It's enough to allow me to feel very secure about retirement, job/career changes, health issues, supporting family, etc. and this security is probably the most important aspect of money to me. For me, money means security, safety, freedom. I maintain a very middle-class lifestyle, continue to work full-time and save at a reasonable rate.
I've started to realize how much this factors into my thinking about long term relationships, especially marriage (and its attendant family joining) and financial co-mingling, and am looking for some perspectives on positive ways of managing these kinds of issues.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 27, 2013 -
21 answers
Over the past 5 months I've posted three questions here on how to get over my ex. I've tried all the advice people have given on here and it has helped. Recently I thought I was almost over things and in a good enough place to work on being genuinely friends. Then she tells me she just got married. I don't know if I'm more shocked that she got married to someone in less than 5 months or just that she's just married. Either way, she doesn't want to communicate anymore, which I can respect. So is the reason I'm feeling down is because I feel rejected again? I know this should conclude things for me but I still think about it and I know I shouldn't. Why can't I just leave it and move on?
posted by kser333
on Apr 14, 2013 -
26 answers
My wife and I separated six months ago. Now, after marriage and individual counselling, it looks like we might be ready to give things another shot. How do we go about re-integrating our lives whilst there are still small alarm bells ringing?
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 1, 2013 -
32 answers
My boyfriend treats me wonderfully, like I'm the most important thing on the planet. Now, we are taking our first steps down a very quick path towards Full Lifetime Committment: moving-in, with the understanding that marriage and kids will follow shortly. (Why the speed? I'm 37 with some history of ladytroubles that require maximum time to try and get pregnant.) I was feeling very ready for all this 2-3 months ago, but now am having doubts. Help! Are these standard cold feet, or do you spot any red flags here?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 27, 2013 -
26 answers
My wife and I separated a few months ago (which was my choice, not hers) and it seems that many of the things that I left over may have been addressed, but I still feel cagey about it all. How do I square this circle in my head and in my heart? Blizzard inside.
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posted by six sided sock
on Feb 26, 2013 -
40 answers
How should I address the fact that my boyfriend's unstable ex-wife continues to inappropriately contact him and his family?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 27, 2012 -
22 answers
What are some good SECULAR reads (books or websites are both great) on getting engaged, marriage, etc.? Particularly for those who are not engaged but would like to get engaged in the (maybe not-so-distant) future.
Also, some relationship-specific questions inside. Primarily, when's a good time to get engaged?
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posted by BenS
on Dec 18, 2012 -
30 answers
I'm the one who works and he is financially dependent on me. How can I make him never, ever feel like a burden?
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posted by dean winchester
on Nov 23, 2012 -
25 answers
Can you recommend a good therapist in Vancouver, BC with experience with open relationship/marriage and LGBT issues?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 11, 2012 -
0 answers
My fiancée and I are thinking of getting married in a few months and we're both still in school, I work part time and make about $20,000 a year. She does not work but receives vocational rehab and Social Security (SSI) for her permeant disability she was born with.
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posted by snow_mac
on Oct 9, 2012 -
7 answers
What do you wish you had known before you embarked on an intercultural relationship/marriage?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 4, 2012 -
37 answers
I have recently separated from my wife of 6 years and have moved out of the family home into temporary accommodation. It has been about a month since I left and I am in a very confused place at the moment. My wife has put forward an ultimatum that is tearing me apart and I would appreciate some perspective from the hive mind.
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 25, 2012 -
79 answers
AdviceFilter: What life experiences (or fun things) should my partner and I make time for, before having a baby?
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posted by amoeba
on Sep 19, 2012 -
19 answers
Tell me about how you worked through a difficult period of your relationship and had it turn out well.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 8, 2012 -
27 answers
Earlier this year I was asked by a friendly co-worker to be his best man. I accepted against my better judgement because I got the sense he had no one else he could ask. Now faced with writing an appropriate heartfelt (possibly humorous) speech I am at a loss.
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posted by iheijoushin
on Jul 23, 2012 -
20 answers
I'm increasingly certain that my marriage is dying, and I need some help negotiating the time between now and my first realtionship counselling appointment. (Apologies for the long post)
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 24, 2012 -
27 answers
I want to get over feelings of betrayal and build trust again in my marriage. How do I bring it up to my husband?
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posted by anonymous
on Jun 21, 2012 -
25 answers
Husband's mental health problems led him to compulsively spend over £27,000 (about $44,000) while I supported both of us for three years. I know he'll work hard on therapy, but I don't know if I should divorce him. Should I try and forgive? [warning, long!]
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posted by TriparteGoddess
on Apr 29, 2012 -
62 answers
I've been separated from my wife for over six months. During that time I got involved with someone else, but now I'm thinking about going back to my wife. Please tell me I'm not making a mistake.
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posted by quoth_the_raven
on Apr 23, 2012 -
53 answers
My wife and I are becoming incompatible, can this be fixed or should I start thinking about heading for the exit
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 20, 2012 -
49 answers
I really don't want to end up alone. What can I start doing to break this generational cycle?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 26, 2012 -
12 answers
Hitting a brick wall in my marriage and I would appreciate some different perspectives to help me figure out how to move forward.
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 24, 2012 -
49 answers
How do I handle my parents, with regards to my marriage? (also, is there any hope for me?)
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posted by mudman
on Jan 23, 2012 -
19 answers
What do you wish you knew before you committed to a relationship with a divorced person who has a child?
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posted by JoannaC
on Jan 12, 2012 -
21 answers
My boyfriend and I have been together 6 years. He's 30, I'm 27. Things have been good, but I'm seeing obstacles and not able to decide whether to get married. Can they be surmounted?
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posted by redlines
on Dec 21, 2011 -
37 answers
Even though logically I don't feel like he's "marriage material," I am overwhelmed lately with a desire to be married to him. Which way should I be going on this?
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posted by thrasher
on Dec 15, 2011 -
28 answers
My husband has anger issues. We are considering getting a dog, but I'm not sure I trust him to appropriately express his anger around the dog. What should I do?
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 9, 2011 -
33 answers
I have a question about broaching the awkward/weird topic of marriage with my current SO. (Warning: I'm providing as much _anonymous_ backstory as I possibly can, please forgive any awkward grammar in view of this)
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 3, 2011 -
21 answers
Can anybody recommend a sex positive relationship therapist in or near Chicago?
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posted by anonymous
on Nov 21, 2011 -
1 answer
Help me figure out my own nature when it comes to passion in long term relationships. Yes, it's quite a bit late for me to be asking this.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 24, 2011 -
14 answers
How can I best support my GF in her bisexual identity/lifestyle in a way that doesn't ignore my own needs?
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posted by anonymous
on Sep 1, 2011 -
12 answers
I'm having a difficult time trying to mentally process an ex's recent wedding because I'm hung up on the sex/religion aspect of it all. I need advice on how to stop thinking about him.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 21, 2011 -
33 answers
How can I stop wondering whether my boyfriend will propose during our romantic getaway?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 16, 2011 -
32 answers
