For those who have been cheated on: how did you deal with the heartbreak? For those who have cheated: how did you deal with the guilt? Would like to hear from those who were in very long-term relationships (10+ years) and whose relationships did not survive. [more inside]
My boyfriend of seven months has recently been distant, and lied to me about spending time with another girl, then got defensive when I called his bluff. I have little experience with this. More inside. [more inside]
Hi. This is me. I have been thinking for a couple weeks and am leaning towards divorce. I have multiple questions about this. [more inside]
I used to think it was OK to fantasize about other women as long as I wasn't emotionally or physically cheating. Fiancee did not, and we would both like me to be start being mentally faithful as well. What are your best tips for keeping thoughts of other women out of my mind? Details inside. [more inside]
My friend has been involved in a committed, sexually exclusive romantic relationship for over a year. However, he has already had multiple affairs outside of the relationship. His girlfriend does not know. I like and respect her and am sick of seeing this going on behind her back. Seeing my friend lie, cheat, etc. has also damaged my liking and respect for him. I want this stressful situation to end but do not know what I can ethically do. Please advise. [more inside]
I love my boyfriend dearly and we have had a very strong exclusive relationship for over a year now. However, we started as an affair while he was married. I am still struggling with the guilt I have over this. Are there any resources out there for helping people deal with the aftermath of the affair when the couple is now the husband and the mistress and not the husband and wife? [more inside]
Should I seriously be considering a divorce now, or give it more time? And if I do want to initiate a split--how do I do it, since this will totally blindside him? What else should I do to prepare if it comes to that? [more inside]
Please tell me stories about cheating or being cheated on. Or, pretend to be a sociopath for a few minutes, and give advice on how to successfully cheat and get away with it. [more inside]
We were in a wonderful relationship for 1.5 years. He went abroad. Sick with loneliness and old emotional problems (BPD) that came back when he was gone, I cheated on him. Then I moved abroad with him, where he found out. He forgave me and wants us to stay together, I'm not sure what the fairest thing to do is. [more inside]
Weinergate wonderings: Can a politician have an open relationship? [more inside]
Seven months ago I cheated on my partner. Six months ago I came clean to him. Three months ago we broke up. This past week we have begun to spend some time together, and I feel like we both reached a breakthrough last night. Am I crazy to have this renewed faith in/willingness to work for our love? Do I need to finally let it go? Much more inside. [more inside]
How do I cope with being considered a slut? [more inside]
How can I tell my very monogamous husband that I am polyamorous and would like an open relationship? [more inside]
Trust my instincts? or just relationship anxiety? [more inside]
Collegedorkfilter: He's acting like he's in love with me, and I feel the same, but he seems to have another girl.
Collegedorkfilter: He's acting like he's in love with me, and I feel the same, but he seems to have another girl. What do I do? Nerdy ass literary references, awkward silences, and lots of hot-wild cuddling action ensue! [more inside]
I recently discovered that my partner of 9 years has been having an emotionally and sexually intimate affair with a man for the last 2+ years. The man is married with two teenage children. Though devastated, I'm glad I now know the truth, and I feel very betrayed by two of our close friends who knew of my partner's infidelity and didn't tell me. Given that, should I tell this guy's wife? [more inside]
How do I tell my friend the truth in a way that she can hear it, then take what she can from it and do what feels right to her? [more inside]
Is infidelity in relationships in your twenties and thirties inevitable? I recently was cheated on by my ex-boyfriend days after we started living together and many of my friends who are in their late-30s are not surprised. [more inside]
If you've felt the temptation to cheat, or have cheated, on a guy: what sorts of things was he neglecting to do around that time? Or what things was he doing? [more inside]
My husband of 17 years had an affair and left me for someone else. Three years later, I’m still feeling bitter and vengeful. Please help me cope. [more inside]
I love my husband. But we can't really have sex, and that's not going to change. I'm thinking of looking elsewhere for it. [more inside]
Help me get my focus back on my own life and happiness and stop comparing/competing with my ex in my own mind... and stop having how I compare with others as a condition to my happiness/self esteem in general... [more inside]
Should I try to date him or is it already too messy? [more inside]
Help me sort out my feelings about the relationship I’m in because I just can’t seem to figure it out. (long and complicated - sorry!) [more inside]
Is my fiancée cheating on me, or is this simply a case of a wrong number at the wrong time? [more inside]
My girlfriend cheated. We're separated now. What do I do with this anger? [more inside]
I have no problems falling in love - it's falling out I need some help with. [more inside]
My relationship is wonderful. It's been a couple of years and we have big plans, a definitely long term view, get along perfectly, still have passion, all that... So why did I kiss a friend while really, really drunk the other night? And what should I do about it? [more inside]
Can I seek companionship outside my marriage and still respect myself in the morning? [more inside]
If you were cheated on and broken up with, would you want to know that you were cheated on or would ignorance be bliss?
Dear Ask Mefi: How can two people who love each other get back together after a tragic breakup? She and I lived together for many years. The relationship ended because she cheated on me. Otherwise, she was the love of my life. Now, years later, I have discovered through mutual friends that she refers to it as one of the biggest mistakes of her life but doesn't even forgive herself. I might be able to forgive under the right circumstances and if she is sincere. But, I don't want to initiate contact because I still feel hurt. She won't initiate contact because she doesn't feel she deserves a second chance. Is there anyplace to go from here? Advice, experiences welcome...
Can anyone point me to information about rates of marital infidelity in western nations? I'm particularly interested in the United States, but figures on other first world nations would provide interesting material for comparison.