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92 posts tagged with Relationships and anxiety. (View popular tags)
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How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

Is it possible to fix self-esteem issues from within a relationship?

A common theme on AskMeFi is that a person should be able to take care of themselves first before they can be ready to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. What if the relationship itself is the driver of positive personal growth? And what if that process has been kind of painful so far? [more inside]
posted by sockitysock on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

Hello, darkness, my friend! (and guilt, and the bar exam)

The bar exam is in 3 weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt I'm not studying enough. Guilt I'm not researching and writing briefs for work fast enough. And tremendous guilt that I've been a straight-up asshole with my family and friends. I'm not good at this balancing act. [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on Jul 3, 2014 - 17 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

What does it mean to be "psychologically flooded"?

My girlfriend has a diagnosed anxiety order. Oftentimes in conversation she has trouble processing what is said and pretty much shuts down. After the conversation she tells me that she was flooded and doesn't remember what we discussed. I want to learn more about psychological flooding. Can you help me find some resources to learn more about it? I didn't have much luck with my keyword searches on Google. Specifically I want to learn if there are ways I can help her become flooded less often. Thanks!
posted by speedoavenger on Apr 15, 2014 - 16 answers

I feel unable to participate in a normal, healthy dating relationship.

I am 34 years old, and for the first time in my life, I am embarking on a 'normal' relationship. My insecurities are causing me extreme anxiety, and I'd like your stories and insight and tips on what I might be being realistic about, and what I'm not. Apologies for a long explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2014 - 29 answers

I don't know what I want, but it shouldn't be this hard

Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 3, 2014 - 25 answers

How to cope with a long distance relationship & losing my independence?

I'm 21, I've been living in Canada for six months with my originally long distance partner and now I need to return home for financial and health reasons, leaving my girlfriend and new friends behind. I need advice and coping strategies to deal with a return to a long distance relationship with an unknown reunion date, returning home and then moving to a smaller house where I will have to share a room with my 18 year old brother for at least five months. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Feb 26, 2014 - 4 answers

How do you untangle the threads of a beat-up heart?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 11, 2014 - 18 answers

Detaching whilst staying

How does one practice detachment in a codependent, anxiety-rich relationship? How can I be the husband my wife needs me to be whilst also getting what I need? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jan 22, 2014 - 47 answers

Help me find hope that things will get better

Things just keep getting worse and I don't know what to do. Please see extended explanation. [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Dec 28, 2013 - 14 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

New relationship anxiety - age gap

I'm feeling a little queasy about the sexual preferences of my new boyfriend. I'm in my early 20's, he is almost 40, and I look a little younger than I am. I'm just worried he likes really young girls, just doesn't want to admit it to me. I love him, but I wouldn't be comfortable getting older with someone whose sexuality seems focused on youth. Although, he says he is most attracted to women in their late 20's and early 30's, cares more about monogamy and love than physical beauty, etc. - so that's good. I still have concerns... Besides seeming to have a particular interest in 'teen' porn where the girls look underage, I saw a VLC media file with the title indicating underage teen porn. It was under the 'recent' files in windows, but when clicked on the file no longer exists. He says he wouldn't seek that out, isn't sure where it came from, that he just downloads zip files of porn in bulk. I understand men are going to be attracted to younger women and even teen girls, but I'd rather be with someone who didn't seek it out to that extent. Makes me wonder how much attraction they'd lose for me when I become 'old.' Thoughts?
posted by bluelights on Dec 4, 2013 - 92 answers

How to manage an LDR when there's no end to the distance in sight?

I have just moved to a new city for my dream job and I can’t stop crying. Long distance relationship woes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

Managing a crush that needs to stay a crush

Are you the anxious type who often escapes into the excitement/newness of crushes and find yourself taking things too far? How do you calm yourself and keep yourself from going overboard? What strategies can I use to make sure I keep cool and normal about this? [more inside]
posted by Laura Macbeth on Sep 25, 2013 - 14 answers

how can an introvert infiltrate a tight-knit group of super-socializers?

my SO of about a year has a very large family that is heavily into socializing, and i'm an introvert. can we peacefully coexist? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Aug 28, 2013 - 20 answers

Birth control options for sad ladies

New relationship, long history of depression, looking for birth control advice. [more inside]
posted by terretu on Aug 9, 2013 - 17 answers

I am afraid of commitment. Should I get married?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years. She is 28, I am 42. She really wants to get married and have kids. Part of me likes that idea a lot, but another side of me has extreme anxiety around the idea of commitment. I have struggled with anxiety since my early 20s and have undergone a lot of therapy, and while I understand what the anxiety is and where it comes from, no one has been able to “cure” me of it to the point where suddenly the things I’m anxious about don’t bother me any more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 23 answers

What do I do with these very, very strong feelings?

I just had a weekend (non-adulterous) affair with someone who lives halfway across the country. It went well, incredibly well, so well, and now she has gone back home and I am experiencing a massive onslaught of feelings and I am not sure how to proceed and maintain my sanity. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Apr 30, 2013 - 13 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Help me figure out what to do about my depressed boyfriend please

My once caring, kind, thoughtful bf of six months has fallen into a deep depressive state a month ago and has ceased most contacts with me three weeks ago- the exception being a phone call for my birthday- without outwardly breaking up with me; should I stay, should I go, should I wait and give him space, or wait and try and contact him myself? Do we have a future together according to you? Any thoughts/input is welcome, thank you very much! [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Mar 27, 2013 - 18 answers

Taking time off from a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 21 answers

How do you talk to someone who interprets everything as an attack?

Help me Metafilter! I need cognitive and/or behavioral hacks to better deal with someone whose anxiety/self-esteem issues tend to make every conversation into a battle. [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Feb 28, 2013 - 30 answers

What is this "game"? How do I play it? And why, apparently, am I so bad at it?

What is this "game"? How do I play it? And why, apparently, am I so bad at it? [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Dec 5, 2012 - 31 answers

Need help moving on with a difficult break-up and resolving related anxieties. Snowflakey details inside.

This is a big ask: help me find out how to healthily move on, be comfortable with myself and have an inkling of ambition. I've had a little trouble moving on from this one relationship, and I think some perspective would be nice. It is also related to various anxieties I have now. Snowflakey details inside. Sound advice deeply, deeply appreciated. [more inside]
posted by lethologues on Nov 9, 2012 - 12 answers

How do I re-establish trust my long-term relationship after a lie?

How do I re-establish trust my long-term relationship after a lie? [more inside]
posted by otempora on Sep 25, 2012 - 36 answers

Resources on Adult Attachment Therapy?

I may be starting adult attachment therapy in the next week, on the advice of a crisis counselor and after a few years of on-and-off treatment for anxiety and depression that's not getting me very far. Point me to some quality, hopefully easy to find resources that can spell out what the experience might be like. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2012 - 4 answers

Help me solve my problem

I have issues with anxiety in relationships, but I recently started seeing a wonderful man, and will start going to a therapist soon. However, I'm looking for techniques or ideas to help manage my anxiety while I'm searching for a steady therapist. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2012 - 9 answers

Why am I always uncomfortable around people?

Why am I always uncomfortable around people? What the hell is wrong with me, mentally? *Warning* LONG LONG LONG READ, but probably interesting?* [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 15, 2012 - 25 answers

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. No, this is literally crazy.

I'm hopelessly, desperately clueless at dating. Extensive tl;dr content contained herein. Be gentle, but above all: HALP. Now, watch as I over think my plate of beans. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2012 - 16 answers

How to handle an awkward third-wheel conversation experience?

My S.O. and her friends have a tendency to begin long conversations about a third party that I don't know in my company. How do I subtly hint that I'd like to be clued in without sounding like an impatient jerk? [more inside]
posted by deathpanels on Apr 24, 2012 - 32 answers

Can't not be friendzoned

(23-year-old straight male) After moving to a new city 2 1/2 years ago and suffering a series of setbacks which I've mostly rebounded from, I've found it impossible to make any progress at all with anyone of the opposite gender. I have my shit together, am well-liked by most despite having always been pretty socially awkward and anxious, and am thought of by my friends as smart, funny and charming, but I just can't get beyond the friendzone. What am I doing wrong? Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by denmarkstreet on Mar 3, 2012 - 17 answers

How to bail on plans made with a new acquaintance who has my real number?

So I got picked up while visiting a friend in a different city, and I made myself seem available but I have a boyfriend and have a lot of other things on my plate. How do I get out of following up? [more inside]
posted by maykasahara on Mar 2, 2012 - 15 answers

I want to want you, not need you

After a one and a half year period of celibacy and a general holiday from romance I am starting to see someone I really like. Can you help me deal with a whole lot of anxiety and needyness surrounding this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2012 - 7 answers

How can I get my dating life started again

I need help with my dating life, I'm a single straight male, 25y/o, working 60 hour weeks, with limited options. [more inside]
posted by curious-mind on Feb 4, 2012 - 54 answers

How do I deal with rollercoaster relationship feelings?

I'm high as kite when I'm with "him" and feel like a junkie desperate for a fix when I'm not. How do I better manage these extreme feelings? [more inside]
posted by patientpatient on Jan 12, 2012 - 14 answers

Why do I keep comparing myself to my long-ago ex, and how can I make it stop?

My depressed brain uses my ex as a stick to beat me with. Please help it stop. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 7, 2012 - 11 answers

Sleeping Beauty - Sleep, Eat, Go online, Yawn…

Sleeping Beauty - Sleep, Eat, Go online, Yawn… [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 4, 2012 - 27 answers

Was this (ex)relationship problem properly handled?

Recently, I said some harsh things to an ex whom until recently I had remained very good friends with. These things had been boiling inside me for months and I had to say them at this point. However, ever since I said them, she has disappeared from her online profiles (which she updated multiple times every day), I have no way of contacting her, and I'm worried. Obviously there's a lot going on, and some of it may be serious. [more inside]
posted by marriedtotacos on Dec 18, 2011 - 33 answers

Too sad to be good convo partner?

Ok, so I've been having this problem lately (and I think it's related to my recent depression) where I meet new people and kind of expect that I'll never develop any friendship with them, but then it actually does happen, and I realize in horror that when they bring up previous conversations we've had, I act completely clueless because I didn't bother to remember it in the first place, and they say something like, "Remember we were talking about how my mom lives literally right next door to you?" (seriously, that happened today) and I remember suddenly, but clearly have already made it obvious that I didn't remember it in the first place... That's been happening a lot lately, and I want to know how to recall what I talked about with people more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 1, 2011 - 8 answers

How to stop worrying and love myself

Lately I have been binging on self-help books, surfing the internet for articles on family issues -- I just want an answer, to know what went wrong and how to fix it. But everything seems hollow. I feel horribly stuck and I desperately want to move forward and I don't know how. Lots and lots of details inside. [more inside]
posted by bunderful on Nov 27, 2011 - 18 answers

Help me keep my anxiety about sex from destroying my relationship, or: Want sex now help.

How can I have a more sexual relationship with my boyfriend, and stop freaking out all the time? Or, how can I accept that this is the relationship we have and it's not going to change? Warning: this is going to be both long and stupid. [more inside]
posted by krakenattack on Nov 14, 2011 - 47 answers

About those "reformed" ex-boyfriends and girlfriends..

Reformed exes- "suck it and see", or leave it alone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2011 - 22 answers

Sometimes I think I'm the crazy one

How to deal with the fallout from an SO that has vented about our relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 12, 2011 - 21 answers

Yes, I'm putting on my own oxygen mask. Now help me help others.

Yes, I'm putting on my own oxygen mask. Now help me help others. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 14, 2011 - 12 answers

I see a butterfly. No wait. Clouds. No wait...oh, that's dirty!

I am about to see a psychiatrist for the first time for some anxiety-related issues. I am...anxious about this. Naturally. What can I expect, and what should I look out for? [more inside]
posted by Caligula's Idiot Cousin on Aug 16, 2011 - 16 answers

Self-destructive shame issues.

Ashamed of myself in so many ways--it's resulted in overeating, anxiety, low-self-esteem, body-image issues, and a lack of drive. How do I dig myself out of this rut? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 11, 2011 - 20 answers

In sickness and in crippling fear of you judging me

Be Excellent To Each Other: Anxious Spouse Edition [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 6, 2011 - 7 answers

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