I just had a weekend (non-adulterous) affair with someone who lives halfway across the country. It went well, incredibly well, so well, and now she has gone back home and I am experiencing a massive onslaught of feelings and I am not sure how to proceed and maintain my sanity. Details inside.
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posted by My Famous Mistake
on Apr 30, 2013 -
13 answers
I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling.
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posted by anonymous
on Apr 1, 2013 -
11 answers
My once caring, kind, thoughtful bf of six months has fallen into a deep depressive state a month ago and has ceased most contacts with me three weeks ago- the exception being a phone call for my birthday- without outwardly breaking up with me; should I stay, should I go, should I wait and give him space, or wait and try and contact him myself? Do we have a future together according to you? Any thoughts/input is welcome, thank you very much!
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posted by opalshards
on Mar 27, 2013 -
18 answers
My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week?
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 3, 2013 -
21 answers
Help me Metafilter! I need cognitive and/or behavioral hacks to better deal with someone whose anxiety/self-esteem issues tend to make every conversation into a battle.
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posted by celtalitha
on Feb 28, 2013 -
30 answers
This is a big ask: help me find out how to healthily move on, be comfortable with myself and have an inkling of ambition. I've had a little trouble moving on from this one relationship, and I think some perspective would be nice. It is also related to various anxieties I have now. Snowflakey details inside. Sound advice deeply, deeply appreciated.
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posted by lethologues
on Nov 9, 2012 -
12 answers
I may be starting adult attachment therapy in the next week, on the advice of a crisis counselor and after a few years of on-and-off treatment for anxiety and depression that's not getting me very far. Point me to some quality, hopefully easy to find resources that can spell out what the experience might be like.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 18, 2012 -
4 answers
I have issues with anxiety in relationships, but I recently started seeing a wonderful man, and will start going to a therapist soon. However, I'm looking for techniques or ideas to help manage my anxiety while I'm searching for a steady therapist.
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 15, 2012 -
9 answers
Why am I always uncomfortable around people? What the hell is wrong with me, mentally? *Warning* LONG LONG LONG READ, but probably interesting?*
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posted by anonymous
on Jul 15, 2012 -
25 answers
I'm hopelessly, desperately clueless at dating. Extensive tl;dr content contained herein. Be gentle, but above all: HALP. Now, watch as I over think my plate of beans.
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posted by anonymous
on May 26, 2012 -
16 answers
My S.O. and her friends have a tendency to begin long conversations about a third party that I don't know in my company. How do I subtly hint that I'd like to be clued in without sounding like an impatient jerk?
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posted by deathpanels
on Apr 24, 2012 -
32 answers
(23-year-old straight male) After moving to a new city 2 1/2 years ago and suffering a series of setbacks which I've mostly rebounded from, I've found it impossible to make any progress at all with anyone of the opposite gender. I have my shit together, am well-liked by most despite having always been pretty socially awkward and anxious, and am thought of by my friends as smart, funny and charming, but I just can't get beyond the friendzone. What am I doing wrong? Special snowflake details inside.
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posted by denmarkstreet
on Mar 3, 2012 -
17 answers
So I got picked up while visiting a friend in a different city, and I made myself seem available but I have a boyfriend and have a lot of other things on my plate. How do I get out of following up?
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posted by maykasahara
on Mar 2, 2012 -
15 answers
After a one and a half year period of celibacy and a general holiday from romance I am starting to see someone I really like. Can you help me deal with a whole lot of anxiety and needyness surrounding this?
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posted by anonymous
on Feb 28, 2012 -
7 answers
I need help with my dating life, I'm a single straight male, 25y/o, working 60 hour weeks, with limited options.
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posted by curious-mind
on Feb 4, 2012 -
54 answers
I'm high as kite when I'm with "him" and feel like a junkie desperate for a fix when I'm not. How do I better manage these extreme feelings?
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posted by patientpatient
on Jan 12, 2012 -
14 answers
Recently, I said some harsh things to an ex whom until recently I had remained very good friends with. These things had been boiling inside me for months and I had to say them at this point. However, ever since I said them, she has disappeared from her online profiles (which she updated multiple times every day), I have no way of contacting her, and I'm worried. Obviously there's a lot going on, and some of it may be serious.
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posted by marriedtotacos
on Dec 18, 2011 -
33 answers
Ok, so I've been having this problem lately (and I think it's related to my recent depression) where I meet new people and kind of expect that I'll never develop any friendship with them, but then it actually does happen, and I realize in horror that when they bring up previous conversations we've had, I act completely clueless because I didn't bother to remember it in the first place, and they say something like, "Remember we were talking about how my mom lives literally right next door to you?" (seriously, that happened today) and I remember suddenly, but clearly have already made it obvious that I didn't remember it in the first place... That's been happening a lot lately, and I want to know how to recall what I talked about with people more.
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posted by anonymous
on Dec 1, 2011 -
8 answers
Lately I have been binging on self-help books, surfing the internet for articles on family issues -- I just want an answer, to know what went wrong and how to fix it. But everything seems hollow. I feel horribly stuck and I desperately want to move forward and I don't know how. Lots and lots of details inside.
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posted by bunderful
on Nov 27, 2011 -
18 answers
How can I have a more sexual relationship with my boyfriend, and stop freaking out all the time? Or, how can I accept that this is the relationship we have and it's not going to change? Warning: this is going to be both long and stupid.
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posted by krakenattack
on Nov 14, 2011 -
47 answers
I am about to see a psychiatrist for the first time for some anxiety-related issues. I am...anxious about this. Naturally. What can I expect, and what should I look out for?
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posted by Caligula's Idiot Cousin
on Aug 16, 2011 -
16 answers
Ashamed of myself in so many ways--it's resulted in overeating, anxiety, low-self-esteem, body-image issues, and a lack of drive. How do I dig myself out of this rut?
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posted by anonymous
on Aug 11, 2011 -
20 answers
I'm looking for book and/or movie recommendations that portray survival during the (emotional) worst case scenario that in reality, isn't all that bad.
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posted by anonymous
on May 12, 2011 -
18 answers
How can I restore my mental health/sanity after one stressful hell of a year? Additionally, any suggestions for starting to heal as a surviour of emotional abuse by a parent?
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posted by snowysoul
on May 9, 2011 -
16 answers
I get lethally quiet when I'm upset, and my relationships suffer as a result. Please help me break out my little black rain cloud.
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posted by anonymous
on Mar 28, 2011 -
12 answers
How do you "Let Go and Let God"? Or how do you just "Let Go" without believing in God? I'm struggling with sitting back and patiently letting life and relationships take their natural course. I always feel like I need to be "doing something" to control the situation and it's driving me insane. I
know I want to stop this behavior, I just can't seem to figure out
how.
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posted by MultiFaceted
on Feb 25, 2011 -
28 answers
Is it automatically wrong to stay with someone if you have doubts regarding the ultimate strength of your compatibility and ability to stay together for the long-haul? For once I want to try to relax and see where things go, but I don't want to be hurtful to this wonderful woman. It is a bit complicated, since we broke off our engagement 2 months ago, we are both women in our early-to-mid 30s who each want a child at some point, and I have serious anxiety problems which paralyze my thinking, and which make me feel extra immature when faced with overwhelming questions like this.
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posted by wombat stork
on Feb 18, 2011 -
23 answers
Should I try online dating or stick to hoping to meet someone in the outside world? More details inside.
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posted by Polgara
on Feb 5, 2011 -
29 answers
My boyfriend is on the academic job market this year, and (surprise) it's not going too well. How do I support him?
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posted by anonymous
on Jan 29, 2011 -
20 answers
Given that I know my defence mechanisms are still operating on high after leaving an emotionally abusive relationship, and I keep getting cold feet with anyone who tries to get close to me, and yet still crave small doses of intimacy, how can I ethically conduct myself with people who are/could be interested in me?
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posted by Chrysalis
on Dec 21, 2010 -
6 answers
We all hear about too little communication during dating and a relationship. How about the reverse? Help me assert my need for less communication in a new friendship/potential relationship.
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posted by patronuscharms
on Dec 5, 2010 -
34 answers
Why do my obsessive thoughts focus so much on my relationship, and what can I do to manage them? After living through years of sexual abuse as a child and teen, followed by a severely unhealthy relationship with an older man soon there after, I've actually found someone with whom I have potential to build something that could be really great. The trouble is that my brain is trying incredibly hard to sabotage this relationship, despite my best efforts to control it.
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 28, 2010 -
18 answers
New relationship filter. (mid-30s male here)
My first actual foray into online dating seems to be doomed to failure. I'm always awkward at this sort of thing, but this seems to be a new level for me. Basically, I just can't seem to relax around the new woman, and this means that I'm unable to get an erection. She's mostly been accepting of this (and there's plenty of other sorts of funtimes to be had in the bedroom). However, it seems clear to me that she really wants to have sex soonish, and this seems like the worst possible time to deal with issues from past relationships and the fallout thereof.
Does this seem like it can be worked through in a timely fashion, or should I just cut things off early and deal with things on my own?
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posted by anonymous
on Oct 27, 2010 -
27 answers
My boyfriend and I are about to take The Bar Exam in less than a week. A few days ago, my boyfriend was having severe anxiety attacks and suddenly decided he'd be better off at his folks' house. We talked about it, I supported it, and he flew home that night. Now I'm alone in our house and I'm freaking out dealing with my own depression and anxiety. I know (I know, I really know) that what happened isn't his fault, and that he needs to do what is best for him, and that this doesn't mean he doesn't care about me. But my irrational me keeps feeling abandoned. I need advice on how to recontextualize the situation or something because with four days left I don't really have time or energy to spend being irrationally angry.
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posted by mishamashes
on Jul 22, 2010 -
29 answers
I get overly anxious when someone takes too long to respond to my email. This happens on a weekly basis with work, dating, family, etc. If you have this problem too, what has helped you?
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posted by cheesecake
on May 17, 2010 -
28 answers
I have almost no dating experience, mainly due to my social anxiety and fear of intimacy. How can I pursue this relationship...?
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posted by anonymous
on May 10, 2010 -
22 answers
My girlfriend goes through spurts of bad depression and anxiety every two to five weeks. It often comes with stress from her job or something like moving apartments. Things can be extremely well between us for weeks before, but once she gets down, her life sucks, I suck, everything sucks, and then she wants me gone. Things always get better when shes out of the rut. How do I know what are her real feelings and what is just being depressed?
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posted by mewmewmew
on Apr 11, 2010 -
22 answers
