110 posts tagged with Relationships and anxiety.
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Dealing with abusive former collaborator who runs in same social circles

My close professional relationship with a man ended badly because he was abusive towards me and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. He's blown up over tiny things, yelled at me until I cried, made inappropriate sexual advances, etc. He’s done this to at least 5 different women, but nobody wants to talk about it openly. [more inside]
posted by doodletoo on Sep 20, 2015 - 7 answers

Healthy Expectations for New Dating Situation?

I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Sep 14, 2015 - 13 answers

I Broke Up with Him and I'm Heartbroken

I broke up with him a week ago. I feel like he is the one who broke up with me. [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Sep 12, 2015 - 63 answers

Can stress make you reconsider relationships?

I'm pretty stressed out (and maybe depressed?) and it's making me annoyed all the time and unfortunately, surfacing niggling feelings that is making me reconsider my relationship. Now I feel even more stressed and just plain guilty and mean. How do you think clearly through stress/depression/anxiety/etc. about this kind of issue and differentiate the stress-thinking from everything else? [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Sep 9, 2015 - 30 answers

Is he a liar or am I just crazy? Should I break it off?

I am starting to think my boyfriend has been lying to me for a long time. Not sure what to do about this relationship. [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Sep 5, 2015 - 75 answers

How to gauge interest and deal with rejection in early stages of dating?

After a pretty rough breakup in January, I'm starting to be open to the idea of dating again. However, I don't find myself romantically attracted to very many people, so when I do find someone I am interested in, I tend to get my hopes up. I started talking to a guy and feel like I am receiving mixed signals - how do I gauge interest and deal with the possibility of rejection after hoping this would work out? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Aug 2, 2015 - 15 answers

It was a dream, then got hit with a huge dose of reality. Can we fix it?

My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend? Something in between?) and I fell in love and saw us building a future together. Then chaos erupted with his work and put a strain on us and our relationship. After months of waiting, he has a new position that he has become obsessed with and our relationship was put on the back burner. We still love each other and don't want to walk away completely, so we are currently on a break and I'm confused about where to go from here. (Deeply apologetic for the length, but I wanted to paint the most accurate picture possible... ) [more inside]
posted by heathergro on Jun 5, 2015 - 23 answers

How to not think about relationship troubles

I'm in a serious relationship that might be ending. How do I let myself not have constant anxious thoughts about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2015 - 8 answers

Am I being silly?

I'm having conflicting desires regarding my future. Is this a 'the grass is greener' scenario, or should I be making changes to my life? Complication: anxiety. [more inside]
posted by toerinishuman on May 11, 2015 - 15 answers

How to cope with my terror of uncertainty in my mid-20s

How do I enjoy and make the most of my life, when it is so full of uncertainty? What are some strategies for tolerating and living with uncertainty, rather than being afraid of and fighting it? Details/specific situation inside [more inside]
posted by armadillo1224 on May 6, 2015 - 25 answers

How do I know whether it's worth giving my relationship a shot?

I'm so confused about my relationship that I've taken to MeFi to ask for advice – any thoughts would be hugely appreciated. My boyfriend of almost one year is 29; I'm 34. He's kind, caring and all-round deeply lovely, we get on absolutely brilliantly, have loads in common and I feel incredibly comfortable and happy around him. Life is sweet. Except two not-so-tiny things: he's scared of commitment and doesn't ever want to talk about my ticking biological clock. How much time do I give this? [more inside]
posted by considerthelilies on Apr 21, 2015 - 67 answers

Scared of attraction.

29 year old heterosexual male. I believe that I have social anxiety when it comes to talking to women I am attracted to - perhaps more than normal. This has meant very little sex or relationships throughout my life. Practical ideas for dealing with this would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2015 - 18 answers

Was this a weird thing to do or am I just having major anxiety?

How can I escape a spiraling anxiety and shame based mood and be realistic? I'm drivong myself crazy. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Dec 20, 2014 - 29 answers

It's Breaking, if not Broken: Can I fix it?

My partner confessed to entertaining the idea of moving out, because living with me has been difficult of late and it's starting to hurt them. Is there any way back from this? [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Nov 10, 2014 - 13 answers

Need help with Emotional Regulation

I'm flailing and feeling like I've backslid on a lot of personal progress. I don't know what's going on, and I'd like some advice for getting myself back on track. I've attempted to keep this concise. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2014 - 8 answers

I have "commitment issues", which are incompatible with what I want.

I've always known that I want to find someone and fall in love and raise a family, the whole bit. That's my end-goal, no other ambition in my life is more important to me.. But I always freak out in relationships. I'm almost always the one moving things forwards, because I know what I want, but I get so anxious sometimes.. I'm currently dating someone who is actually perfect for me. He's like me in every way, I've never had better. I don't want to lose him, and I'm not planning on it, but I'm hoping to get advice as to how to stop "freaking out". [more inside]
posted by Ellabelle797 on Sep 17, 2014 - 7 answers

Need a good gay friendly therapist in Seattle

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years, and I'm tired of trying to struggle through it on my own. I've decided I need to get help, but I have no idea where to start. I'm gay and in Seattle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2014 - 6 answers

Tips on allowing new relationships to unfold naturally?

I need tips on ridding myself of new-relationship anxiety, releasing the need to control and the need to know where it's going, and allowing the relationship to unfold naturally. [more inside]
posted by SabrinaV on Jul 31, 2014 - 10 answers

How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

Is it possible to fix self-esteem issues from within a relationship?

A common theme on AskMeFi is that a person should be able to take care of themselves first before they can be ready to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. What if the relationship itself is the driver of positive personal growth? And what if that process has been kind of painful so far? [more inside]
posted by sockitysock on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

Hello, darkness, my friend! (and guilt, and the bar exam)

The bar exam is in 3 weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt I'm not studying enough. Guilt I'm not researching and writing briefs for work fast enough. And tremendous guilt that I've been a straight-up asshole with my family and friends. I'm not good at this balancing act. [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on Jul 3, 2014 - 17 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

What does it mean to be "psychologically flooded"?

My girlfriend has a diagnosed anxiety order. Oftentimes in conversation she has trouble processing what is said and pretty much shuts down. After the conversation she tells me that she was flooded and doesn't remember what we discussed. I want to learn more about psychological flooding. Can you help me find some resources to learn more about it? I didn't have much luck with my keyword searches on Google. Specifically I want to learn if there are ways I can help her become flooded less often. Thanks!
posted by speedoavenger on Apr 15, 2014 - 16 answers

I feel unable to participate in a normal, healthy dating relationship.

I am 34 years old, and for the first time in my life, I am embarking on a 'normal' relationship. My insecurities are causing me extreme anxiety, and I'd like your stories and insight and tips on what I might be being realistic about, and what I'm not. Apologies for a long explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2014 - 30 answers

I don't know what I want, but it shouldn't be this hard

Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 3, 2014 - 25 answers

How to cope with a long distance relationship & losing my independence?

I'm 21, I've been living in Canada for six months with my originally long distance partner and now I need to return home for financial and health reasons, leaving my girlfriend and new friends behind. I need advice and coping strategies to deal with a return to a long distance relationship with an unknown reunion date, returning home and then moving to a smaller house where I will have to share a room with my 18 year old brother for at least five months. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Feb 26, 2014 - 4 answers

How do you untangle the threads of a beat-up heart?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 11, 2014 - 18 answers

Detaching whilst staying

How does one practice detachment in a codependent, anxiety-rich relationship? How can I be the husband my wife needs me to be whilst also getting what I need? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jan 22, 2014 - 47 answers

Help me find hope that things will get better

Things just keep getting worse and I don't know what to do. Please see extended explanation. [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Dec 28, 2013 - 14 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

New relationship anxiety - age gap

I'm feeling a little queasy about the sexual preferences of my new boyfriend. I'm in my early 20's, he is almost 40, and I look a little younger than I am. I'm just worried he likes really young girls, just doesn't want to admit it to me. I love him, but I wouldn't be comfortable getting older with someone whose sexuality seems focused on youth. Although, he says he is most attracted to women in their late 20's and early 30's, cares more about monogamy and love than physical beauty, etc. - so that's good. I still have concerns... Besides seeming to have a particular interest in 'teen' porn where the girls look underage, I saw a VLC media file with the title indicating underage teen porn. It was under the 'recent' files in windows, but when clicked on the file no longer exists. He says he wouldn't seek that out, isn't sure where it came from, that he just downloads zip files of porn in bulk. I understand men are going to be attracted to younger women and even teen girls, but I'd rather be with someone who didn't seek it out to that extent. Makes me wonder how much attraction they'd lose for me when I become 'old.' Thoughts?
posted by bluelights on Dec 4, 2013 - 92 answers

How to manage an LDR when there's no end to the distance in sight?

I have just moved to a new city for my dream job and I can’t stop crying. Long distance relationship woes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

Managing a crush that needs to stay a crush

Are you the anxious type who often escapes into the excitement/newness of crushes and find yourself taking things too far? How do you calm yourself and keep yourself from going overboard? What strategies can I use to make sure I keep cool and normal about this? [more inside]
posted by Laura Macbeth on Sep 25, 2013 - 14 answers

how can an introvert infiltrate a tight-knit group of super-socializers?

my SO of about a year has a very large family that is heavily into socializing, and i'm an introvert. can we peacefully coexist? [more inside]
posted by humiliated_grape on Aug 28, 2013 - 20 answers

Birth control options for sad ladies

New relationship, long history of depression, looking for birth control advice. [more inside]
posted by terretu on Aug 9, 2013 - 17 answers

I am afraid of commitment. Should I get married?

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for two and a half years. She is 28, I am 42. She really wants to get married and have kids. Part of me likes that idea a lot, but another side of me has extreme anxiety around the idea of commitment. I have struggled with anxiety since my early 20s and have undergone a lot of therapy, and while I understand what the anxiety is and where it comes from, no one has been able to “cure” me of it to the point where suddenly the things I’m anxious about don’t bother me any more. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 10, 2013 - 23 answers

What do I do with these very, very strong feelings?

I just had a weekend (non-adulterous) affair with someone who lives halfway across the country. It went well, incredibly well, so well, and now she has gone back home and I am experiencing a massive onslaught of feelings and I am not sure how to proceed and maintain my sanity. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by My Famous Mistake on Apr 30, 2013 - 13 answers

Advice for the anxiously attached.

I'm in a great new relationship, yay! It's been about 4 months. I like her. She likes me. But I am a classic anxiously attached type, and I would like your advice on how to cope with the "omg what will I do when she figures out I'm a loser and she dumps me and why didn't she call last night and she seemed annoyed when I said that and omg what if she doesn't like me anymore" feeling. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2013 - 11 answers

Help me figure out what to do about my depressed boyfriend please

My once caring, kind, thoughtful bf of six months has fallen into a deep depressive state a month ago and has ceased most contacts with me three weeks ago- the exception being a phone call for my birthday- without outwardly breaking up with me; should I stay, should I go, should I wait and give him space, or wait and try and contact him myself? Do we have a future together according to you? Any thoughts/input is welcome, thank you very much! [more inside]
posted by opalshards on Mar 27, 2013 - 18 answers

Taking time off from a relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. After a big fight this weekend, we've decided to take a week off from seeing each other. Has this strategy EVER improved a relationship? &How do I best manage anxiety this week? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 3, 2013 - 21 answers

How do you talk to someone who interprets everything as an attack?

Help me Metafilter! I need cognitive and/or behavioral hacks to better deal with someone whose anxiety/self-esteem issues tend to make every conversation into a battle. [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Feb 28, 2013 - 30 answers

What is this "game"? How do I play it? And why, apparently, am I so bad at it?

What is this "game"? How do I play it? And why, apparently, am I so bad at it? [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Dec 5, 2012 - 31 answers

Need help moving on with a difficult break-up and resolving related anxieties. Snowflakey details inside.

This is a big ask: help me find out how to healthily move on, be comfortable with myself and have an inkling of ambition. I've had a little trouble moving on from this one relationship, and I think some perspective would be nice. It is also related to various anxieties I have now. Snowflakey details inside. Sound advice deeply, deeply appreciated. [more inside]
posted by lethologues on Nov 9, 2012 - 12 answers

How do I re-establish trust my long-term relationship after a lie?

How do I re-establish trust my long-term relationship after a lie? [more inside]
posted by otempora on Sep 25, 2012 - 36 answers

Resources on Adult Attachment Therapy?

I may be starting adult attachment therapy in the next week, on the advice of a crisis counselor and after a few years of on-and-off treatment for anxiety and depression that's not getting me very far. Point me to some quality, hopefully easy to find resources that can spell out what the experience might be like. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 18, 2012 - 4 answers

Help me solve my problem

I have issues with anxiety in relationships, but I recently started seeing a wonderful man, and will start going to a therapist soon. However, I'm looking for techniques or ideas to help manage my anxiety while I'm searching for a steady therapist. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2012 - 9 answers

Why am I always uncomfortable around people?

Why am I always uncomfortable around people? What the hell is wrong with me, mentally? *Warning* LONG LONG LONG READ, but probably interesting?* [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 15, 2012 - 25 answers

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. No, this is literally crazy.

I'm hopelessly, desperately clueless at dating. Extensive tl;dr content contained herein. Be gentle, but above all: HALP. Now, watch as I over think my plate of beans. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 26, 2012 - 16 answers

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