126 posts tagged with Relationships and anxiety.
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Should I try to "grow" feelings for this person or listen to my anxiety?

I have been dating this guy for just over a month now. I knew him previously from HS, but we reconnected through a dating site. I had a huge crush on him in HS but I wasn't sure how I'd feel as that was a long time ago (25 now). Before we met I was honest and said I wanted friendship to start off with, cause I assumed he'd expect a hook up right away. We've hung out five times now, and been texting a lot but I'm not sure how I feel still. [more inside]
posted by oracleia on Nov 29, 2016 - 16 answers

Should I give this polyamorous relationship a chance or end it?

I'm in a polyamorous relationship of less than a year. It has increasingly been a struggle for me in terms of self-esteem, fear of loss, and anxiety. Lately I've been thinking it's more fair to end this relationship than continue. Is it worth attempting to take this journey in hopes that it will be ok or should I just end the relationship with the idea that, like marriage or wanting children, it's a incompatibility that's a deal breaker? More details below. [more inside]
posted by Thirty7Degrees on Nov 15, 2016 - 17 answers

Domestic crisis = time to reasses

Should I move back to England and back in with my parents? [more inside]
posted by guessthis on Oct 18, 2016 - 14 answers

Disclosing mental illness in a new relationship

I am mentally ill and dating someone new. When do you disclose mental illness in a new relationship and how do you do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2016 - 7 answers

It Seems to Me that "Maybe" Pretty Much Always Means "No"

My (very) new boyfriend told me Friday he isn't sure if he sees himself living with someone or getting married again. Later in the weekend, he backtracked and said he was stressed out about other things, afraid of losing me, and he could be open to it. Is this relationship doomed, or can "not sure" mean something other than "no"? [more inside]
posted by foxonisland on Jul 19, 2016 - 33 answers

How do you get over the anxiety of starting a new relationship?

...if the last one was awful. I'm 25 F. My parents are divorced and had a very abusive relationship. I don't speak with (or have a relationship with) my dad as a result. I'm not really sure what a healthy relationship looks like. My friends (and family) are mostly single. My first and only serious relationship was a complete disaster. [more inside]
posted by Femiluv on Jul 19, 2016 - 10 answers

Partner's struggles with anxiety have killed our sex life

I am really struggling with my partner’s anxiety and its impact on our sex life. I am 33, he is 25, and we are a gay male couple. [more inside]
posted by ninefour on Jul 13, 2016 - 13 answers

Last night my girlfriend told me that she has no sex drive

I'm 24 and she's 20, last night she told me she doesn't enjoy sex at all and doesn't see the point. She said she likes how people look and likes how I like but doesn't feel desire towards them. I've tried to ask her more about it, like when it started, but she said she genuinely didn't know, it's been causing her a lot of stress and upset and she was afraid to tell me. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Jul 3, 2016 - 40 answers

What self help workbooks would you recommend for me?

I am looking for a book that will help me work through issues with intimacy and being emotionally distant, anxiety surrounding myself and my life, self esteem issues, getting in touch with my emotions, and just dealing with a lot of latent frustration. Overall, a book on tools to develop emotional maturity is what I need. If anyone knows of a workbook with exercises that would be best since they tend to keep my attention, but if not a regular self help book would be awesome. [more inside]
posted by tomtheblackbear on Jun 30, 2016 - 9 answers

Help me understand myself. Why do I get so anxious?

I get a lot of anxiety from dating (and from my life circumstances), and I'm not sure why that is. I'm trying to narrow down the factors and pinpoint what the deal is and how to move forward. I could use some advice or life-experience stories from other folks. [more inside]
posted by uncannyslacks on Jun 15, 2016 - 11 answers

Is there hope for HSV+ and OCD+?

Found out the guy I'm seeing, whom I really, really like, has oral HSV-1. I have OCD and GAD and a huge phobia specifically of herpes. Can this work out? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 14, 2016 - 18 answers

How do I trust myself with affirmations after a recent breakup?

How do I trust myself with affirmations if I constantly seek validation from external sources, especially intimate relationships? I am coming out of a recent breakup that triggered severe anxiety and dependency. I am keeping busy after the breakup (it has been 2.5 weeks) but I still feel like there is something missing from my recovery process. I am seeking professional help soon (I have an appointment scheduled) but I find anecdotal examples of others' experiences to be extremely helpful. [more inside]
posted by modernman on Feb 10, 2016 - 7 answers

Did I miss the boat in life? Will I be able to maintain relationships?

If you are successful in maintaining relationships, maybe you can answer some questions. My main concern is that I haven’t developed typically like others. When I went to high school, I was depressed and had social anxiety. Therefore, I didn’t have any kind of high school experience-no friends, no funny stories, no major personal development, and no boyfriends. [more inside]
posted by crystal_stair on Feb 8, 2016 - 28 answers

Tell me this isn't limerence

I have been pretty sure I like this girl for a while now, and now that the issue has been raised and left unresolved, I'm in crisis mode and don't know what I'm feeling. [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Dec 13, 2015 - 12 answers

How to tackle multiple goals or get shit done w/anxiety etc.

Sort of recently (about 2 & a half months in) moved to a brand new town so my husband (I'm, 29, he's 32) could go to uni. I was so stoked on having a clean slate to start everything anew, but not so much any more. Reality has set in and i'm dealing with soaring bouts of anxiety and pretty severe mood swings, and can't seem to decide anything tangible to get shit actually done. Any ideas / practical advice regarding how to deal with this would be so welcome. I have so much time alone i think i'm actually going a little nuts. More inside [more inside]
posted by speakeasy on Nov 18, 2015 - 18 answers

How do I enjoy being single?

My ex moved out roughly 2 weeks ago. I'm feeling extremely sad and alone. How do I not jump into another relationship right away? [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Oct 16, 2015 - 20 answers

Dealing with abusive former collaborator who runs in same social circles

My close professional relationship with a man ended badly because he was abusive towards me and I finally couldn’t take it anymore. He's blown up over tiny things, yelled at me until I cried, made inappropriate sexual advances, etc. He’s done this to at least 5 different women, but nobody wants to talk about it openly. [more inside]
posted by doodletoo on Sep 20, 2015 - 7 answers

Healthy Expectations for New Dating Situation?

I am six months out of a 3.5 years serious relationship (and very traumatizing break up). I've been dating a new person for two weeks. The dates themselves are great and he shows many signs of wishing to slowly move forward with me. However, I am very anxious between dates. He doesn't text me much between dates and is self-admittedly not a "planner" (e.g. we will have a date but he doesn't confirm day-of; just texts that he is coming over 30 minutes before the agreed-upon time). I can't tell if the anxiety is from (1) normal new relationship feelings; (2) my gut telling me this guy is not into me enough; or (3) my own desperation to feel like I have the stability and constant contact of a LTR again. What are your stories of the first month or two of your own relationships? I have never dated quite like this (we met online) and I want to be more okay with the "dance" and ensuing miscommunications/awkwardness. [more inside]
posted by minoraltercation on Sep 14, 2015 - 13 answers

I Broke Up with Him and I'm Heartbroken

I broke up with him a week ago. I feel like he is the one who broke up with me. [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Sep 12, 2015 - 63 answers

Can stress make you reconsider relationships?

I'm pretty stressed out (and maybe depressed?) and it's making me annoyed all the time and unfortunately, surfacing niggling feelings that is making me reconsider my relationship. Now I feel even more stressed and just plain guilty and mean. How do you think clearly through stress/depression/anxiety/etc. about this kind of issue and differentiate the stress-thinking from everything else? [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Sep 9, 2015 - 30 answers

Is he a liar or am I just crazy? Should I break it off?

I am starting to think my boyfriend has been lying to me for a long time. Not sure what to do about this relationship. [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Sep 5, 2015 - 78 answers

How to gauge interest and deal with rejection in early stages of dating?

After a pretty rough breakup in January, I'm starting to be open to the idea of dating again. However, I don't find myself romantically attracted to very many people, so when I do find someone I am interested in, I tend to get my hopes up. I started talking to a guy and feel like I am receiving mixed signals - how do I gauge interest and deal with the possibility of rejection after hoping this would work out? [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Aug 2, 2015 - 15 answers

It was a dream, then got hit with a huge dose of reality. Can we fix it?

My boyfriend (ex-boyfriend? Something in between?) and I fell in love and saw us building a future together. Then chaos erupted with his work and put a strain on us and our relationship. After months of waiting, he has a new position that he has become obsessed with and our relationship was put on the back burner. We still love each other and don't want to walk away completely, so we are currently on a break and I'm confused about where to go from here. (Deeply apologetic for the length, but I wanted to paint the most accurate picture possible... ) [more inside]
posted by heathergro on Jun 5, 2015 - 23 answers

How to not think about relationship troubles

I'm in a serious relationship that might be ending. How do I let myself not have constant anxious thoughts about this? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 11, 2015 - 8 answers

Am I being silly?

I'm having conflicting desires regarding my future. Is this a 'the grass is greener' scenario, or should I be making changes to my life? Complication: anxiety. [more inside]
posted by toerinishuman on May 11, 2015 - 15 answers

How to cope with my terror of uncertainty in my mid-20s

How do I enjoy and make the most of my life, when it is so full of uncertainty? What are some strategies for tolerating and living with uncertainty, rather than being afraid of and fighting it? Details/specific situation inside [more inside]
posted by armadillo1224 on May 6, 2015 - 25 answers

How do I know whether it's worth giving my relationship a shot?

I'm so confused about my relationship that I've taken to MeFi to ask for advice – any thoughts would be hugely appreciated. My boyfriend of almost one year is 29; I'm 34. He's kind, caring and all-round deeply lovely, we get on absolutely brilliantly, have loads in common and I feel incredibly comfortable and happy around him. Life is sweet. Except two not-so-tiny things: he's scared of commitment and doesn't ever want to talk about my ticking biological clock. How much time do I give this? [more inside]
posted by considerthelilies on Apr 21, 2015 - 67 answers

Scared of attraction.

29 year old heterosexual male. I believe that I have social anxiety when it comes to talking to women I am attracted to - perhaps more than normal. This has meant very little sex or relationships throughout my life. Practical ideas for dealing with this would be appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 25, 2015 - 18 answers

Was this a weird thing to do or am I just having major anxiety?

How can I escape a spiraling anxiety and shame based mood and be realistic? I'm drivong myself crazy. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Dec 20, 2014 - 29 answers

It's Breaking, if not Broken: Can I fix it?

My partner confessed to entertaining the idea of moving out, because living with me has been difficult of late and it's starting to hurt them. Is there any way back from this? [more inside]
posted by Ashen on Nov 10, 2014 - 13 answers

Need help with Emotional Regulation

I'm flailing and feeling like I've backslid on a lot of personal progress. I don't know what's going on, and I'd like some advice for getting myself back on track. I've attempted to keep this concise. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 28, 2014 - 8 answers

I have "commitment issues", which are incompatible with what I want.

I've always known that I want to find someone and fall in love and raise a family, the whole bit. That's my end-goal, no other ambition in my life is more important to me.. But I always freak out in relationships. I'm almost always the one moving things forwards, because I know what I want, but I get so anxious sometimes.. I'm currently dating someone who is actually perfect for me. He's like me in every way, I've never had better. I don't want to lose him, and I'm not planning on it, but I'm hoping to get advice as to how to stop "freaking out". [more inside]
posted by Ellabelle797 on Sep 17, 2014 - 7 answers

Need a good gay friendly therapist in Seattle

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years, and I'm tired of trying to struggle through it on my own. I've decided I need to get help, but I have no idea where to start. I'm gay and in Seattle. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 15, 2014 - 6 answers

Tips on allowing new relationships to unfold naturally?

I need tips on ridding myself of new-relationship anxiety, releasing the need to control and the need to know where it's going, and allowing the relationship to unfold naturally. [more inside]
posted by SabrinaV on Jul 31, 2014 - 10 answers

How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

Is it possible to fix self-esteem issues from within a relationship?

A common theme on AskMeFi is that a person should be able to take care of themselves first before they can be ready to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. What if the relationship itself is the driver of positive personal growth? And what if that process has been kind of painful so far? [more inside]
posted by sockitysock on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

Hello, darkness, my friend! (and guilt, and the bar exam)

The bar exam is in 3 weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt I'm not studying enough. Guilt I'm not researching and writing briefs for work fast enough. And tremendous guilt that I've been a straight-up asshole with my family and friends. I'm not good at this balancing act. [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on Jul 3, 2014 - 17 answers

How to stop thinking about my relationship?

My marriage is in limbo and I need to stop giving it so much emotional energy. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 1, 2014 - 23 answers

What does it mean to be "psychologically flooded"?

My girlfriend has a diagnosed anxiety order. Oftentimes in conversation she has trouble processing what is said and pretty much shuts down. After the conversation she tells me that she was flooded and doesn't remember what we discussed. I want to learn more about psychological flooding. Can you help me find some resources to learn more about it? I didn't have much luck with my keyword searches on Google. Specifically I want to learn if there are ways I can help her become flooded less often. Thanks!
posted by speedoavenger on Apr 15, 2014 - 16 answers

I feel unable to participate in a normal, healthy dating relationship.

I am 34 years old, and for the first time in my life, I am embarking on a 'normal' relationship. My insecurities are causing me extreme anxiety, and I'd like your stories and insight and tips on what I might be being realistic about, and what I'm not. Apologies for a long explanation inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2014 - 30 answers

I don't know what I want, but it shouldn't be this hard

Dating this new guy is crazymaking. I can't figure out if there's genuine interest, if I'm being strung along, or if it's my own anxiety tying me up in knots. Please help! [more inside]
posted by cucumber patch on Mar 3, 2014 - 25 answers

How to cope with a long distance relationship & losing my independence?

I'm 21, I've been living in Canada for six months with my originally long distance partner and now I need to return home for financial and health reasons, leaving my girlfriend and new friends behind. I need advice and coping strategies to deal with a return to a long distance relationship with an unknown reunion date, returning home and then moving to a smaller house where I will have to share a room with my 18 year old brother for at least five months. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Feb 26, 2014 - 4 answers

How do you untangle the threads of a beat-up heart?

I'm in the early stages of a relationship with a wonderful woman; it's our second go at this. I'm pretty sure this is love. But my anxiety and depression is holding me back, or making me doubt how I feel, or stopping me from actually expressing how I feel. And I don't know how to navigate this. I don't know whether to push through all these uncertainties or walk away. Help me work it out, mefites. [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Feb 11, 2014 - 18 answers

Detaching whilst staying

How does one practice detachment in a codependent, anxiety-rich relationship? How can I be the husband my wife needs me to be whilst also getting what I need? [more inside]
posted by yasp on Jan 22, 2014 - 47 answers

Help me find hope that things will get better

Things just keep getting worse and I don't know what to do. Please see extended explanation. [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on Dec 28, 2013 - 14 answers

How To Talk About Sex

Occasionally, I bring up the subject of sex with my partner, and I always get nowhere. Sex has never been something that we've really talked about. We had those first few conversations when we met several years ago: disclosures of risks, general preferences, expectations for monogamy, etc. and from there we just let it develop naturally. We need to talk about it because our sex life isn't meeting my needs, and I've asked to talk about it, but I still don't know how to talk about it, and I'm afraid this is just going to become another in a string of failed attempts to talk about sex. [more inside]
posted by this *is* my happy face on Dec 19, 2013 - 28 answers

New relationship anxiety - age gap

I'm feeling a little queasy about the sexual preferences of my new boyfriend. I'm in my early 20's, he is almost 40, and I look a little younger than I am. I'm just worried he likes really young girls, just doesn't want to admit it to me. I love him, but I wouldn't be comfortable getting older with someone whose sexuality seems focused on youth. Although, he says he is most attracted to women in their late 20's and early 30's, cares more about monogamy and love than physical beauty, etc. - so that's good. I still have concerns... Besides seeming to have a particular interest in 'teen' porn where the girls look underage, I saw a VLC media file with the title indicating underage teen porn. It was under the 'recent' files in windows, but when clicked on the file no longer exists. He says he wouldn't seek that out, isn't sure where it came from, that he just downloads zip files of porn in bulk. I understand men are going to be attracted to younger women and even teen girls, but I'd rather be with someone who didn't seek it out to that extent. Makes me wonder how much attraction they'd lose for me when I become 'old.' Thoughts?
posted by bluelights on Dec 4, 2013 - 92 answers

How to manage an LDR when there's no end to the distance in sight?

I have just moved to a new city for my dream job and I can’t stop crying. Long distance relationship woes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2013 - 7 answers

Boundaries: I need them.

How do I set up the right boundaries regarding intimacy when dating new people. Difficulty level: history of abuse, disassociation and social anxiety! (nsfw) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 26, 2013 - 9 answers

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