3220 posts tagged with Relationships.
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How do I ensure recovery and healing while continuing to work with STBX?

I continue to work with my soon-to-be-ex husband and I'm having trouble coping with several aspects of this situation. One of the major issues (for me) comes from the fact that I was attempting reconciliation for the longest (while he's always felt otherwise). Would really appreciate suggestions in this regard (particularly from those who've been in similar situations). Details [long read!] inside. [more inside]
posted by satipatthana on Sep 30, 2016 - 10 answers

Push it to MAXIMUM BABY!!!

Question about babies, feelings, and friendships! [more inside]
posted by sprezzy on Sep 28, 2016 - 12 answers

Is my boyfriend hiding something serious from me?

He has been maniacly hiding -since always- his phone from me. I'm not even "allowed to touch it". Dumb question, but lately I'm just freaking out about it. [more inside]
posted by Tiffy119 on Sep 26, 2016 - 54 answers

I'm passive aggressive. How do I fix that?

I've had passive aggressive tendencies my whole life, but it's taken me awhile to realize just how destructive my behavior is for my relationships. I want to stop, but I don't know how. [more inside]
posted by gumtree on Sep 25, 2016 - 28 answers

How do you move beyond betrayal?

Hello metafilter, A few months back, I had a break-up with a friend. At the time, I believed we were very close, and I turned to her because I was very sick, needed help, and couldn't find it anywhere else. Instead of offering help or sympathy, she instead sent me a "go away till you're better" letter two days later. It's broken my heart, and I can't seem to move past it. [more inside]
posted by Rosengeist on Sep 20, 2016 - 14 answers

At almost 25, my former life is falling away - how can I cope better?

I've lost friends to life changes and two people to bereavement. Childhood is officially over, adulthood is here to stay. How do I find some comfort? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on Sep 20, 2016 - 7 answers

Accepting flaws in long-term relationships

My partner is incredibly kind and loving to me, and I'm very happy with her, but she can lash out at others. How can I put my anxiety about this to rest? [more inside]
posted by myitkyina on Sep 17, 2016 - 24 answers

Inconvenient sexual kinks and long-term relationships

Gentle, compassionate man seeks intelligent, self-assured woman for a life of emotional intimacy, tenderness, and borderline violent and demeaning sex. :( How could this possibly work? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2016 - 28 answers

And then there were two.

My wonderful partner and I are looking for resources on how to strengthen our relationship and move on from some past issues. We are already set to attend couples counseling and are looking for things we can practice and dedicate energy to in the interim. What are things that you've done in your own relationships to make them stronger? We are especially interested in advice concerning trust building.
posted by Marinara on Sep 15, 2016 - 7 answers

Boundary Setting After Being Friend-Dumped due to His Unrequited Feels

My now ex-friend, a friend of ten years, close friend for seven, and best friend for one, broke up with me as my best friend and friend after it became clear that I wasn't going to date him. How do I set and enforce good boundaries to keep it from backsliding into the same nonsense drama (or new drama) when we share so many spaces, including living space? [more inside]
posted by Mouse on Mercury on Sep 10, 2016 - 29 answers

Call me the cattle modifier, because I need to change the stakes.

For a variety of reasons I haven't been in a romantic relationship in 3+ years. I'm trying to change that now but finding the emotional ramifications really challenging to deal with. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2016 - 7 answers

Breaking off an on-off relationship for good

I love my girlfriend so much but have had a very turbulent relationship with her with almost constant break up threats. How do I convince myself enough is enough? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 8, 2016 - 14 answers

The horse of contempt vs the pony of stability

I'm living with my partner, and the relationship is probably emotionally over...but I can't move out due to Reasons. I'll try to keep it short as possible below (oops, I didn't, it's wayyy too long), but I'm looking for both practical and emotional solutions or advice. It's a should I stay or should I go question, but of course there's always particulars. [more inside]
posted by zinful on Sep 7, 2016 - 35 answers

Should I critique my boss to their boss?

My boss has been promoted to incompetence. How can I and the others in our (very small) group help our boss be a better leader without risking our own careers? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 1, 2016 - 13 answers

How to stop guilt about putting your self first

What helped you stop fearing that you're a bad person for putting your needs before others wants, when those people were really suffering? (Context: relatiobships) [more inside]
posted by Chrysalis on Aug 31, 2016 - 17 answers

Help me find the aphorism, from my paraphrase

I read a wonderful quote not that long ago, an aphorism about relationships, but now, no matter how hard I Google, I can't track the original down. Maybe you can help? The essence of it was: We misjudge the people we love twice: First for the better, and second for the worse. [more inside]
posted by bicyclefish on Aug 30, 2016 - 1 answer

Where can I find amazing animals on the web?

I'm looking for regular web-based sources of amazing animal photos, stories, and videos. I'm interested in content that shows silly animals, incredibly athletic animals, or (particularly) extraordinary animal intelligence. I'd also like to find material that shows cool interspecies relationships, whether that's cats who love dogs, rhinos who live with turkeys, or people who have unusual pets. I'm even interested in things like dog-training videos! Can you point me to forums, subreddits, YouTube channels, or other corners of the web that regularly publish stuff about amazing animals?
posted by jdroth on Aug 30, 2016 - 5 answers

How do I work with/around my checked-out supervisor?

My supervisor is retiring in a month and seems to be checked out or perhaps just not worried about maintaining relationships. How do I maintain relationships and do good work in this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 28, 2016 - 4 answers

At 21, should I still continue to rely on "luck" to find a boyfriend?

I am 21 and I have never had a boyfriend. I've gotten to the point where I stare at other couples and start feeling depressed/sad. I do not really like the idea of online dating. I feel like anyone could easily find a significant other using a dating app and plus, you never know if you will get along with the person when you actually meet them. I am really shy ( I do not know if that is part of the reason why I have trouble finding someone to like me) and do not have any guy friends. I currently reside in Richmond, VA. [more inside]
posted by ionable on Aug 24, 2016 - 23 answers

Starting a relationship with someone who has an unresolved crush

You know those connections where you mutually fall for a platonic friend, but you're just never single at the same time? What if it's your new dating partner who has that situation? Would you be comfortable with that? Do people actually get over their old "what if" flames? Are they happy with the people they're with when they get with someone who is not the old flame? [more inside]
posted by mousesinger on Aug 23, 2016 - 39 answers

I need to break up with a friend. How? What to say (or not say)?

I'm reluctantly coming to the realization that I feel uncomfortable with a longterm friendship. Due to how frequently we spend time together, I don't feel slow-fading is an option (although I'm happy to be proven wrong). How do I approach this? Should I state my reasons for wanting to end the friendship? Is it even reasonable or kind to do so? [more inside]
posted by Sudo on Aug 23, 2016 - 26 answers

Guilt and sadness

About six weeks ago, a friend/ex-fwb wrote a facebook message to me that made me uncomfortable - it sexualized our friendship and didn't respect the boundaries I had set for it. This was after a few times when I had told him he was going too far, and I finally laid into him. 4 weeks later, he committed suicide. I have so many weird feelings about this, and I want advice about processing the death of someone and the guilt I feel about my last interactions with him. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 21, 2016 - 12 answers

How do I rebuild trust in my relationship and meet my partner's needs?

I wasn't honest with my partner for several months about my feelings for her. She told me weeks ago that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. I did not feel the same way, and to avoid hurting her feelings I didn't tell her. When I did tell her two days ago, instead of being happy, she felt I betrayed her trust. It really hurt her to learn that I was hiding my feelings. She says she can't be sure I won't continue to hide my feelings from her. How do I rebuild her trust? [more inside]
posted by Sheila Nagig on Aug 21, 2016 - 26 answers

2 Fast 2 Attached

How do you set limits and keep from getting too attached to someone you've started dating? [more inside]
posted by vanitas on Aug 19, 2016 - 9 answers

The 33 Year Old (quasi) Virgin

I started out as Emma. But I've turned into Miss Bates. [more inside]
posted by ChickenBear on Aug 19, 2016 - 22 answers

It seems unhealthy to me, but what do I know

Some questions about drinking, from someone without context. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Aug 17, 2016 - 64 answers

Distinguishing right vs wrong vs right for me

Wouldn't you know, therapy has revealed that I am very much a people pleaser and I think it's slightly harming me. Now that I am right in the middle of a confusing dating situation and stressed from school, I'm not sure how to figure what's good for me--not others. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms on Aug 16, 2016 - 16 answers

Will my in-laws to be ever like me?

My in-laws to be don't like me and never have. I would very much like to have cordial relations with them. After 3 years, however, neither my fiancee nor I are sure they will ever accept me. [more inside]
posted by 8LeggedFriend on Aug 15, 2016 - 44 answers

How do you cope with feeling inadequate while dating with a disability?

As a disabled person, how do you keep your head up when you're dating, and deal with negative self-talk and feelings of inadequacy? Essentially, how do you cope with - or even stop - feeling like, basically, no matter how awesome you might be or how much you accomplish, you're nobody's first choice? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2016 - 24 answers

Mary Matalin and James Carville--Not Schwarzenegger and Shriver

Mr. EG and I just got engaged after many years, yay! However, we will apparently be entering into one of those rarest of unions--that between a liberal and a conservative. Help us have civil data-driven conversations please, and give me hope for the future. [more inside]
posted by eglenner on Aug 11, 2016 - 19 answers

Not heard from my boyfriend in almost 4 weeks

Hi any help and advice on what I should would be really appreciated. My boyfriend is an aidworker working for a charity and has been posted in Africa for 9 months. He was sent out to a special project about a month ago and I have not heard from him since. What do I do...? [more inside]
posted by artystar on Aug 11, 2016 - 37 answers

I need to sleep!

I'm a very light sleeper who hates to be awakened. I have a bad cold. I feel like my partner is not respectful enough of my need to stay asleep. I need your advice. [more inside]
posted by 3491again on Aug 7, 2016 - 42 answers

Disclosing mental illness in a new relationship

I am mentally ill and dating someone new. When do you disclose mental illness in a new relationship and how do you do it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 3, 2016 - 7 answers

How to prevent attachment to a casual fling?

For my first outside-of-my-first-relationship relationship (or whatever you would call it, there's no titles for anything anymore), I am very confused how to do this successfully and without getting hurt. Please help me understand how to navigate a casual relationship without hurting myself. Slight snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by socky bottoms on Jul 25, 2016 - 25 answers

What is the difference between giving into something and accepting it?

I've been single for a minute. I met somebody that makes me feel good, act happy, and ticks a lot of my boxes. There are, however, a few differences in our world view and life experiences that are deal breakers for me. I can never see myself dating this person, but we have fun. Do I break it off, or continue feeling good and have a breezy time? Snowflakes inside! [more inside]
posted by Vrai on Jul 21, 2016 - 24 answers

Methods to build self-esteem in troubled mother?

How do I help to build self-esteem in my "crazy" (bipolar, BPD), overweight, aging, and unsuccessful mother, who lives in a small town with not much in the way of community, and who refuses to seek medical treatment for her mental health and physical issues? [more inside]
posted by erattacorrige on Jul 20, 2016 - 25 answers

It Seems to Me that "Maybe" Pretty Much Always Means "No"

My (very) new boyfriend told me Friday he isn't sure if he sees himself living with someone or getting married again. Later in the weekend, he backtracked and said he was stressed out about other things, afraid of losing me, and he could be open to it. Is this relationship doomed, or can "not sure" mean something other than "no"? [more inside]
posted by foxonisland on Jul 19, 2016 - 33 answers

How do you get over the anxiety of starting a new relationship?

...if the last one was awful. I'm 25 F. My parents are divorced and had a very abusive relationship. I don't speak with (or have a relationship with) my dad as a result. I'm not really sure what a healthy relationship looks like. My friends (and family) are mostly single. My first and only serious relationship was a complete disaster. [more inside]
posted by Femiluv on Jul 19, 2016 - 10 answers

How do two depressed, stressed people have a sustainable relationship?

My partner and I both struggle with mental illness in different ways. We have been dating for a year and a half and do pretty well together but sometimes we aren't able to be there for each other or hold back out of fear of burdening the other. How do you practice self care and be a good partner in this kind of an arrangement? How do you confront a partner about habits and actions that might result from their depression, while being cognizant that they are struggling? What's a reasonable expectation for emotional support in a relationship? [more inside]
posted by mmmleaf on Jul 18, 2016 - 4 answers

Finding Love After (Big) Loss?

I am a widow and my boyfriend had a very painful and messy divorce 5 years ago. We got together a year ago (right after my husband died) and it has been so amazing. From the moment we laid eyes on each other we connected and have been together almost constantly--first just once a week and now about 4 days a week, and we have vacationed together several times as well. But there is trouble in paradise... [more inside]
posted by Izzi on Jul 15, 2016 - 29 answers

Partner's struggles with anxiety have killed our sex life

I am really struggling with my partner’s anxiety and its impact on our sex life. I am 33, he is 25, and we are a gay male couple. [more inside]
posted by ninefour on Jul 13, 2016 - 13 answers

Happiness living in a small town

Boyfriend and I have been together nearly a year, living together for 7 months. He has a fantastic job opportunity in a small town on the other side of the state and has asked me to move with him. I'm not totally opposed to the idea but not completely on board and excited either. Help me figure out the best way to approach this! [more inside]
posted by Malleable on Jul 11, 2016 - 19 answers

Advise me on marriage.

We're women in our early thirties, non-religious and not planning to have kids. I'm divorced, she's never been married. What do we need to know before tying the knot? [more inside]
posted by possibilityleft on Jul 9, 2016 - 9 answers

I think I want a baby – but not with my husband.

I’m married, mid 30s, and of course, it feels like everyone I know is having children. I love children. I’ve told myself again and again that I’m not going to be a mother. I thought I had made peace with it, and was pretty convinced I did not even want to be a mother. That’s why this seems like a huge betrayal to myself and to my husband.... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 9, 2016 - 26 answers

How to get out of bedtime fights?

My partner (of almost a year) and I have gotten into a fight pattern that I'm trying to find a way out of. At bedtime, especially after a long tiring day, what he needs is to sleep right away, and what I need is some time together to cuddle or talk or make love just be together. When he falls asleep I have a strong emotional reaction. [more inside]
posted by miaow on Jul 8, 2016 - 27 answers

Help me be brave

I've got a friend that I do almost everything with. I have realized I'm very attracted to him. Help me be brave and ask him out. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2016 - 44 answers

Help me wrap my head around a social conundrum in my relationship

I really like my girlfriends' two best friends and their toddler, but she would like me to like them more. Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 5, 2016 - 20 answers

Last night my girlfriend told me that she has no sex drive

I'm 24 and she's 20, last night she told me she doesn't enjoy sex at all and doesn't see the point. She said she likes how people look and likes how I like but doesn't feel desire towards them. I've tried to ask her more about it, like when it started, but she said she genuinely didn't know, it's been causing her a lot of stress and upset and she was afraid to tell me. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on Jul 3, 2016 - 40 answers

What self help workbooks would you recommend for me?

I am looking for a book that will help me work through issues with intimacy and being emotionally distant, anxiety surrounding myself and my life, self esteem issues, getting in touch with my emotions, and just dealing with a lot of latent frustration. Overall, a book on tools to develop emotional maturity is what I need. If anyone knows of a workbook with exercises that would be best since they tend to keep my attention, but if not a regular self help book would be awesome. [more inside]
posted by tomtheblackbear on Jun 30, 2016 - 9 answers

Tips for dating a busy entrepreneur/startup owner

What are your tips for dating a busy entrepreneur/startup CEO who has very limited time and emotional energy? What are some tips to help me be more patient/understanding, and what can he do to make the situation better? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 30, 2016 - 19 answers

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