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Should I go on a date with someone if I don't even want a relationship?

Is this a stupid question? Idk. I just got out of a 5 year relationship in May. I feel moved on from him but I'm still trying to put my life back together. And I don't want a relationship right now, bBut two guys have recently asked me out on dates. Idk what to say! I don't know very much about dating. I am 21. [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Aug 27, 2014 - 15 answers

How do I... do OKCupid?

Whew. Just put up my OKC profile for the first time ever! Looking for advice and some pointers. [more inside]
posted by un petit cadeau on Aug 25, 2014 - 29 answers

What is the etiquette of female-male friendship when one party is taken?

When one half of you is taken how does this affect the plans you can make together? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Aug 16, 2014 - 34 answers

How do I conquer my longtime addiction to relationships?

How do I conquer my longtime addiction to relationships, but... also date in Brooklyn? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 15, 2014 - 9 answers

building solid community in your thirties and forties

Folks in your thirties and forties, especially ones that are married or in committed relationships - how have you built or maintained communities and social support networks outside your family? Especially if you have kids? How would you recommend that one build a good foundation for this earlier in life or if you wish you had (particularly following a significant life event like a divorce). I am going through a break-up and facing these questions right now in my earlier thirites, and wondering how I can better prepare myself if this happens in the future. [more inside]
posted by waylaid on Aug 15, 2014 - 19 answers

My sister offended my girlfriend. Can or should I do anything about it?

My sister made a careless remark about a coworker being "too old" to have children that really offended my girlfriend. Ever since, my girlfriend has been making snarky remarks about my sister whenever I mention anything about my immediate family. My sister has no idea that my girlfriend feels this way. Can I do anything to change how my girlfriend feels about this situation, and should I even try? [more inside]
posted by Chuck Barris on Aug 14, 2014 - 42 answers

Dating someone who has AD/HD and narcolepsy - how do I cope?

I just found out that my boyfriend, who has narcolepsy, also has AD/HD. Many of our problems make so much sense now, and I'm kind of at a crossroads. Do I have what it takes to lead a happy relationship with this very, very dear person? Will I get used to the sacrifices and compromises I have to make? [more inside]
posted by doctordrey on Aug 13, 2014 - 20 answers

Communication between two hypersensitive, beanplating marshmallows

My boyfriend and I both hate making each other feel bad. Does this mean we can't talk about things that aren't going well? He in particular feels very hurt when I bring up things that are bothering me. [more inside]
posted by segfault on Aug 12, 2014 - 22 answers

Boyfriend anger, one time occurrence? what to do now...

I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two years. We've had a good, happy, supportive, and very loving relationship with very few bumps in the road. He has a tendency to get irritated more easily than I, which usually diffuses rather quickly by him realizing he's overreacting. On occasion I've said to him "oh come on, its not that big of deal" when he is overreacting and it diffuses. So nothing outside of the norm. My temperament is on the extreme end of laid back, while his is closer to the high strung end. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 12, 2014 - 32 answers

What are some activities/dates I can do to boost confidence?

I haven't been feeling so confident lately. I know my SO could also be much happier if she felt a bit more confident. When we first met around 3 years ago, we were both extremely confident. Now we seem to have trouble being decisive, making decisions to better ourselves/get necessary things done, and choosing a restaurant or a date idea gets harder and harder. I would love ideas of things that could help with this. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Aug 11, 2014 - 26 answers

I Want to Have Opinions

Is there a way to be opinionated without being obnoxious? What are the dos and dont's? [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Aug 9, 2014 - 20 answers

Partner's Abusive Ex and Communicating My Boundaries

I need advice on how to explain to my partner why I wont be attending a birthday party for the child she co-parents with her emotionally abusive ex. [more inside]
posted by peterpete on Aug 5, 2014 - 36 answers

Break-up apps that keep you from looking at exes on Facebook/Instagram?

Does anyone know of an app (or apps) that block you from looking at a particular Facebook page, or a particular Instagram feed? I've heard of Break-up Apps that recently have come about where you can 'erase' someone's photos, tags, etc. from your Facebook, as if they were never there, and I also know of chrome extensions which block you from a site altogether, but I can't find a good app that blocks only a particular PAGE on the site (i.e. www.facebook.com/ex'susername). I would like to be able to continue being 'Facebook Friends' with an ex, as not doing so will be disruptive. I also need to use Facebook for my job. I've already blocked them from appearing on my newsfeed and in chat, but I can't seem to stop myself from, fairly regularly, checking their Facebook page, or their Instagram feed. Any good solutions you've seen online? If not, I may have to team up with a programmer to create one because I think it'd be a very useful service! I sure could use it ASAP.
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 4 answers

Tips on allowing new relationships to unfold naturally?

I need tips on ridding myself of new-relationship anxiety, releasing the need to control and the need to know where it's going, and allowing the relationship to unfold naturally. [more inside]
posted by SabrinaV on Jul 31, 2014 - 10 answers

How can I stop wanting senpai to notice me?

Your 2000th snowflakey question on the how to be an emotionally healthy single person. How can I live for myself and grow my social networks instead of seeking validation from my abstract idea of a desirable partner? Navel-gazing after the jump. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 31, 2014 - 6 answers

Should I put my reading three-year-old in a (pre)school for bright kids?

Should I put my reading three-year-old in a (pre)school for bright kids? Should I move in with my partner in order to do so? [more inside]
posted by woodvine on Jul 31, 2014 - 28 answers

Social Mapping

Does Twitter or Facebook provide any mapping like this, or is there an app that can, through access to a TW or FB account, create this kind of map? [more inside]
posted by CollectiveMind on Jul 21, 2014 - 5 answers

Ending friendship like a grown-up

I’d like to get some outside opinions on managing the probable end of a friendship with a formerly very close friend, without (any more) melodrama or middle-school emotional antics. I will definitely see her at a mutual friend’s birthday in a couple of months, and I may see her infrequently (e.g. a few times a year) on an ongoing basis. [more inside]
posted by Kpele on Jul 21, 2014 - 28 answers

How can you recognize a secure person if you’re insecure?

Am I ruining a great relationship with my anxiety or am I anxious because my relationship is not great? Is there a way to tell the difference between irrational anxiety and alarm bells? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 20, 2014 - 9 answers

Is it possible to fix self-esteem issues from within a relationship?

A common theme on AskMeFi is that a person should be able to take care of themselves first before they can be ready to establish and maintain a healthy relationship. What if the relationship itself is the driver of positive personal growth? And what if that process has been kind of painful so far? [more inside]
posted by sockitysock on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

BDSMfilter: munches, play parties, and social anxiety

How can an shy, inexperienced kinkster approach potential play partners without being too pushy or creepy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 5 answers

I don't want to meet my wife on Tinder

I'm inept at dating in the real world. Help me learn how to take a girl from acquaintance to date and face the uncertainty in between. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 21 answers

Am I a fool if I stay or am I a fool if I go?

I'm 24, a year after graduation I'm still in the town where I went to university. I'm living with my partner Jake who has a five-year-old son. Jake and I are very happy together and I've become good friends with the mother of his son, Kaitlyn. We all get along really well now, life is easy, drama-free and steadily improving. The problem is, Kaitlyn, Jake and I are all really keen on adding to our crazy little family by me having a baby. I would love to do that, but on the other hand, I have family, friends and a small part of me shouting NO!!!! You're too young! Go travel the world! How do I reconcile what I want to do RIGHT NOW, what I think I should do to avoid having regrets later and what everyone else wants me to do? [more inside]
posted by mangoprawn on Jul 11, 2014 - 60 answers

Horrible Networking Experience -- Should I Keep Quiet?

I'm looking to make a career shift to a new city and move to a slightly different area of my professional field. A while back, I met a great contact ("Bob") here in my current city who has a giant professional network both here and in the city where I'd like to relocate. He has been very helpful and recently put me into contact with one of his "best friends" ("Jane"), who he ensured me would have valuable insights into the job market in my target city. I arranged a brief phone call with Jane, and it went horribly. Jane was rude, condescending, and made it clear she was talking to me only as a favor to Bob. Now Bob excitedly wants a readout of the conversation, with details of how Jane was able to help me. Should I tell him the truth about our conversation or just be vague and said it went fine? [more inside]
posted by Creamroller on Jul 10, 2014 - 24 answers

Social Media Etiquette for Homewreckers

How long should one wait before indirectly notifying a recent ex via social media that they are in a new relationship? Is this even a thing? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2014 - 31 answers

Breaking up/co-parenting with a difficult person

I've decided to end my relationship with my boyfriend/fiance of nearly 6 years. We have a 3 year old. I've realized I would rather be single/co-parenting than have my child see such an unhappy relationship. My boyfriend is regularly verbally/emotionally abusive to me in front of our child, and has a history of being emotionally withdrawn. For the purpose of this question please assume that we are definitely breaking up and that there is no other option for me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 7, 2014 - 33 answers

Hello, darkness, my friend! (and guilt, and the bar exam)

The bar exam is in 3 weeks. I'm feeling overwhelmed with guilt. Guilt I'm not studying enough. Guilt I'm not researching and writing briefs for work fast enough. And tremendous guilt that I've been a straight-up asshole with my family and friends. I'm not good at this balancing act. [more inside]
posted by chloe.gelsomino on Jul 3, 2014 - 17 answers

The "how" and the "who first"

While my concerns about divorcing my spouse are numerous, there are two in particular that I could really use some advice on. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 3, 2014 - 20 answers

Dear Coworker: Why do you care what I eat?

I'm getting really tired of a particular coworker's constant prying about what I eat. It's starting to feel like bullying, and it happened to me before at my previous job. What do I do? [more inside]
posted by shiggins on Jun 30, 2014 - 66 answers

Having a messy house is the least of my worries

Mefites with ADHD, how do you cope with the social and professional problems caused by this condition? [more inside]
posted by Sockrates on Jun 29, 2014 - 7 answers

How did you move in with your SO when you worked opposing schedules?

I work days, he works nights. We both like to sleep. And now we want to move in together. How do we make this work? [more inside]
posted by genmonster on Jun 29, 2014 - 13 answers

Seperating 2 dogs during move/relationship seperation?

I am moving to New York for work, and would like my dog to come with me. My husband and I are going to be long-distance for a year, and possibly more. I am the "dog person" in our relationship, and we have 2 dogs. I want to make the healthiest decision for my animals in terms of their dynamic during a seperation/move. Deets on dogs inside. [more inside]
posted by Kestrelxo on Jun 28, 2014 - 7 answers

My girlfriend snooped through my phone. Now what?

I found out my girlfriend snooped through my phone. I don't know how to proceed. [more inside]
posted by hobodeluxe on Jun 27, 2014 - 47 answers

Should I tell or stay out of it?

How do I approach this delicate situation of a recent breakup, addiction issues, and levels of responsibility and boundaries in a new ex’s life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 20 answers

Determining if it's time to end a LTR and then the follow through

I'm currently in a LTR relationship, we currently live together, have pets, and I'm starting to think the relationship has run it's course - but I've been in this mentality at least once a year the past few years, and it always passes. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 27, 2014 - 18 answers

dating with chronic pain

I have chronic crippling body pain that can strike at any time. I am doing all the things I can to learn to live with it and ease it when it strikes but I have a hard time being with people sometimes because I get snappy when I feel like they don't understand how much energy it takes. Now I have a new girlfriend and it is going to cause problems. Have you lived with pain and relationships? [more inside]
posted by kanata on Jun 26, 2014 - 19 answers

Marriage in trouble, wife refuses relationship counseling. What next?

My wife Jane and I are in our 40s and have been together for eight years. We got along well for the first few years, but things have been steadily going south since then. In theory, we both want to improve our marriage, but we are not making much progress on our own. I could use some advice. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

It's a bad time...but when is it ever a good time?

I'm coming to realize that my partner is seriously abusing alcohol (and being cavalier about other substances) just as he's embarking on an existential crisis following a messy legal situation (finalizing a divorce that's 2+ years in the making). The relationship needs work; he needs work; hell, I might need work; but he's got a lot on his plate and I can't really pile on. I have kind of lost sight of what is reasonable here, and could use some perspective. [more inside]
posted by magdalemon on Jun 18, 2014 - 30 answers

Moving cross country together without too many tears

I'll be moving with my boyfriend to a new city in a few months. It'll be the first time either of us have lived with a partner, or with each other, or in this new city. We know it's going to be stressful, but how can we make it less so? [more inside]
posted by good day merlock on Jun 16, 2014 - 28 answers

How do I go from friends with my male classmate to a relationship?

It has taken me two years to get over my ex-boyfriend, and now, in graduate school, I finally, finally met a guy classmate whom I think could be great boyfriend material. He is kind, sweet, super intelligent, and not to mention pretty good-looking. We've spent a bit of time together on projects and study together occasionally, and over the past few months I've really developed some feelings for this guy. The trouble is, I am quite shy and not very good at flirting, so I've tried to initiate contact by organizing study get-togethers, asking him questions on Facebook, etc. I don't want to seem clingy or weird by initiating all this contact though. As for me, people have said I'm pretty, kind, intelligent, blah blah blah. I'm at a point in my life where I would like to find the right man for me and settle down, and I think this guy could be it. Unlike my previous relationships in which we met online, with this guy, I've developed a friendship and my feelings have grown from what I've gleaned from his character and interactions with his family and friends. I really like him, and I don't want to let this one go. Do you have any advice for how to maybe hint to this guy that I like him?
posted by enantio on Jun 12, 2014 - 30 answers

Yeah, so the real reason I didn't come to your party....

Do I tell a good friend that I've been avoiding him because my husband's jealous of the friendship? Gory details and backstory inside. [more inside]
posted by Gwendoline Mary on Jun 8, 2014 - 26 answers

Does my coworker like me?

I know some people may judge me, but I am not looking for that...I already know I'm in a sticky situation. I've been married for 9 years but am planning to leave within a few months (I have to wait to move out due to financial reasons). Anyway, I started a new job about 6 weeks ago, and have been working very closely with a guy that I am attracted to. One day we were working a little late, and he closed the conference room door and started playing music while we were working together...he kept asking what kind of music I preferred, and would only play that. We talked a lot and that is when I really started liking him. [more inside]
posted by Maggsie97 on Jun 6, 2014 - 20 answers

How do I talk to the guy I'm dating about this?

We've been dating pretty steadily for 2 months, but now he's suddenly unresponsive and distant. I want to ask him tactfully what's up. [more inside]
posted by shotinthedark on Jun 5, 2014 - 36 answers

The ghost of Christmas Past came calling. Now what?

My best friend and I had a big, ugly, dramatic falling out six years ago and we haven't spoken since. Today, out of the blue, she cold calls me at work to say hello and asks if we can meet for dinner. I'm not sure what I want to do. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by Sal and Richard on Jun 3, 2014 - 34 answers

A question about parenthood from a single, childless guy

I am in my early forties, single and childless. Many of my peers have opted to marry and have babies. I don't see myself joining them any time soon but I'd like to understand them a little better. So what are the aspects of parenthood that single, childless people (men in particular) Just Don't Get? [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet on Jun 1, 2014 - 27 answers

Logistics of breaking up and moving out?

I moved in to my girlfriend's apartment a little more than a year ago and decided this isn't the thing I want to do anymore. Is my escape plan appropriate? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 31, 2014 - 38 answers

But we're in love, dammit!

How do you get over a breakup when both people were compatible and happy in the relationship? [more inside]
posted by exutima on May 31, 2014 - 15 answers

How do I gain street smarts to protect myself and my children?

How does one overcome thought processes and the resulting bad decision making from a lifetime of abuse and poor examples. [more inside]
posted by tenaciousmoon on May 29, 2014 - 18 answers

Kink is complicated

My partner accepts 90% of my, as Dan Savage puts it, "a fetish-too-far", which is pretty great, considering. We have discussed it at length, she'll never come the last 10%, and I understand that. Two issues, though... [more inside]
posted by hwyengr on May 28, 2014 - 19 answers

In a relationship, in love with a friend, need to make some decisions

I’m in a stable and loving relationship that is approaching the deadline for commitment. I’ve had strong feelings for someone else for a long time, which I’ve managed to control, but have recently resurfaced with a vengeance, and are making me seriously question whether to commit. Help! [more inside]
posted by ashkenazy on May 27, 2014 - 33 answers

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