3170 posts tagged with Relationships.
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Is it ever a good idea to force resolution in dating?

I had a few dates with a guy that I work with but not in the same departments. Even though everything was going well, last date was kind of flat. I get the impression that's the last date we will have. Should I clarify that or just let it fade naturally? [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Jun 23, 2016 - 17 answers

They don't ask, so I don't tell

I’m starting to think that I don’t know how to make small-talk properly, or else people tend to find me very boring. Or maybe both. Most of my conversations (aside from those with close friends or family members) revolve around the other person. Should I do something differently? [more inside]
posted by alex1965 on Jun 23, 2016 - 22 answers

Statute of Limitations on Saying Nasty Things After a Bad Breakup

Long story lots of snowflake details to follow. First girlfriend and I broke up about 10 years ago. Haven't spoken since. I made the mistake of looking at her social media accounts recently out of curiosity, and uh...she has been saying some pretty mean things about me. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2016 - 25 answers

Late 30yr Little Person keep getting hit by Married (fetish) men. Advice

My case is very similar to this woman's story. Otherwise I feel I'm at my wits end regarding this issue. Would appreciate thoughtful answers, as I've asked this in other forums and have gotten some of the jealous lot who say I must be a flirt, I must dress sexy, I'm a hoe, etc. -- which all are not true and are really the opposite. I have strict rules of having male friends to only past work colleagues, classmates and social circles. [more inside]
posted by sam3cat on Jun 17, 2016 - 16 answers

Help me understand myself. Why do I get so anxious?

I get a lot of anxiety from dating (and from my life circumstances), and I'm not sure why that is. I'm trying to narrow down the factors and pinpoint what the deal is and how to move forward. I could use some advice or life-experience stories from other folks. [more inside]
posted by uncannyslacks on Jun 15, 2016 - 11 answers

Do you have to be 100% sure that you want to marry someone?

I know this might sound like a somewhat dumb question, but it's something that I'm honestly confused about right now. So I'm hoping that some of you who are older/married/divorced/more experienced could help me. [more inside]
posted by U.N.Owen on Jun 15, 2016 - 57 answers

How to support an abusive friend?

I have a long-term friend who recently assaulted someone at a party. My peer group has basically cut them off at this point. Is there any way to be a good ally AND a good friend or am I going to have to choose sides and end one of the longest relationships in my life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 14, 2016 - 44 answers

Why did my friend stop talking to me?

I'm 20s, F. My very good friend, 20s, M, abruptly cut off contact. When I approached him about this, he gave me a non-answer. As far as I know, he's been doing well. What happened? [more inside]
posted by fernweh on Jun 14, 2016 - 28 answers

How do you attract good people and rebuild broken trust with bad apples?

Is it possible to consistently attract good people (or luck of the draw) & how do I rebuild my trust in men after these experiences which have left me jaded. Where am I going wrong and how can I do better? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on Jun 14, 2016 - 11 answers

Not enthused about sibling's engagement. What to say?

My older brother just proposed to his girlfriend of ~1 year. Red flags have gone off at every turn in his rapidly-progressing relationship with her. Yesterday, he sent a message to me and my parents announcing his intentions to propose, and then it happened before I got a chance to talk with him. My question is, how do I respond to him? More details and a TWIST! inside. [more inside]
posted by Slater Sheldahl on Jun 13, 2016 - 61 answers

Time to end a 7+ year relationship?

Been together since we were kids, we're both now 25. The relationship isn't awful but it is a long way from perfect. Living together and trying to cope with past cheating, feel like I need to decide whether or not to give it everything and try to make it work or cut our losses. [more inside]
posted by sunbear on Jun 13, 2016 - 43 answers

Can/should this relationship be saved? If so, how?

Got it together with friend, relationship seemed to be going amazingly, then he did a sudden about turn and ended it. I am hoping the situation can be resolved. How can I make things better? Or am I kidding myself and do I just need to move on? [more inside]
posted by intensitymultiply on Jun 11, 2016 - 28 answers

coping with a potential crush

I have what seems to be a crush on a good friend. She is not available. What is the best way to handle this? [more inside]
posted by aaabbbccc on Jun 9, 2016 - 19 answers

LDR breakup logistics?

I think it's time for me to breakup with my long distance GF. The "if I should" questions aside, when should I do this, and should I do it in person? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 9, 2016 - 17 answers

What do you do about a love triangle?

I'm finding myself in a very complicated love triangle between my partner and our mutual friend (his best friend of many years). My boyfriend and I are in an open sexual relationship, but I believe I'm emotionally cheating on him. I have no idea what to do, or where to even begin in trying to fix this. [more inside]
posted by chocolatespaghetti on Jun 7, 2016 - 41 answers

Help a guy keep his eyes on the prize in dating and romance

I'm a straight man in his mid-40s who has lost the ability to romantically fantasise. After a late start with the business of touching other people, and some relationships with awesome people where I just wasn't having fun, I've gone too cynical and lost sight of the fact that intimacy makes people happy. Are there stories or dramas that will help me imagine a fulfilling love life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 7, 2016 - 6 answers

Can I fix my depression to save my relationship?

I'm 26 years old, my fiance is 27. I'm not sure how much information to give, I don't want to post a wall of text. I'm mainly posting this question to hear about other people's experiences, good and bad, with working on their depression while being in a relationship. [more inside]
posted by Leaves22 on Jun 5, 2016 - 25 answers

Ideas may die, but how do you kill them?

CGPGrey explained how internet arguments are self-selecting in order to symbiotically grow two opposing sides who mostly just badmouth the other side with increasingly inaccurate stories. That wouldn't be a problem, except sometimes the process spirals out of control and spills over into harassment, doxxing, violence, etc. So, if we understand how the process works, how do you stop it? Is there actually an effective way to treat the angry thought-germs CGPGrey described?
posted by jsnlxndrlv on Jun 4, 2016 - 10 answers

How to date ethically when you're at the top of a hierarchy?

Everyone says not to do it, but you're going to do it anyway: how to approach dating ethically within a hierarchical community, when you're at the top? I'd like to protect myself, the person I'm interested in, and the other community members who may be affected as much as possible. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2016 - 15 answers

Co-workers in hate

How to deal with co-worker that you dated and now have to work closely with, but your angst doesn’t stem from having dated, but just from the fact that you know too much about them now and really don’t like them as a person? [more inside]
posted by greta simone on Jun 3, 2016 - 11 answers

Should I break up with him?

So, me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year and a half. Met online shortly after I got out of a 5 year relationship. It has been an interesting relationship. I've had really good times along with bad and doubts throughout. I feel like I am bad at relationships; I don't really have standards for boyfriends or something, I don't know what my problem is, and if anyone can point it out to me it might help me... [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 31, 2016 - 36 answers

Could this relationship realistically work?

How should I pursue this, if at all? [more inside]
posted by Yellow78 on May 31, 2016 - 30 answers

Has anyone else had a parent who FORCED you into an eating disorder?

I (female) grew up in a house as the only girl with multiple brothers. My mother began putting me on diets at age 8, before I'd ever shown any signs of having weight issues. I was a normal 8 yr old girl, but not as scrawny as my brothers. From the diets she'd always put me on (this was the 80's, for cultural reference), it began a terrible cycle of me failing the diets and not ever being able to do enough to make her stop policing what I ate. I'm just now coming to the conclusion that I may never have had an issue with food / being overweight if my mom had not forced her insecurities on to me. Longer explanation included. Advice/perspective/fellow war stories appreciated. [more inside]
posted by zettoo on May 31, 2016 - 32 answers

How do nonexclusive relationships work?

I'm in the process of getting divorced and am seeing a couple different dudes. I like them both a lot but am in no place for a serious relationship. My soon to be ex is the only serious adult relationship I've ever had so I totally don't know what I'm doing. [more inside]
posted by Janet Snakehole on May 30, 2016 - 12 answers

How do set appropriate boundaries in a new relationship?

I'm in a wonderful new relationship but I need help with communicating, setting and maintaining appropriate boundaries and getting the space I need while getting to know this person better. [more inside]
posted by smurfzambo on May 30, 2016 - 10 answers

Couples conflict - how do you fight - your stories?

Hive mind, I'm looking for effective conflict resolution techniques/behaviors. A lot of what is written online seems a little too artificial to work in reality with the different personalities of people. What has worked for you in marital conflicts/arguments and why do you think it works? It is said it's not that a couple has fights but how they fight that matters. Having been in a relationship where one person simply doesn't validate the other person's issues and still expects peaceful co-existence, and the other person has a lot of anger in return, i'm trying to figure out what behavioral changes can we make to improve our conflict resolution. Some more details inside [more inside]
posted by whatdoyouthink? on May 28, 2016 - 50 answers

Change your attachment style

I have an avoidance attachment style. I want to be secure. How do I do this? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on May 27, 2016 - 7 answers

I broke up with this guy, but did I do the right thing?

Broke off a short-term relationship, now struggling badly & unsure if I did the right thing. Tell me I have, or haven't. [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on May 24, 2016 - 16 answers

Low Libido... Nooooooooo

I’m a 35-yr-old cis woman married to a wonderful man. I’m attracted to him in every way, and we’ve been together for 10 years. This is the first time I’ve needed to reach out for this problem… [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2016 - 18 answers

My wife is not my granddaughter, I swear!

How to change Facebook settings so Facebook doesn't show my wife as my granddaughter?! [more inside]
posted by terrapin on May 17, 2016 - 22 answers

I love my husband…but I don’t want to sleep with him. Does it matter?

Until I slept with someone else, I didn't realise what I was missing. But I can't break up our lives on a whim. I don't know what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 16, 2016 - 38 answers

Ok we can try again but don't break me this time lalala

What's a good song or songs that have a message along the lines of "yes things got really messed up between us due to your actions but I have thought about it and am willing to forgive your with the hope that things will be good again" or the closest approximation?
posted by jitterbug perfume on May 15, 2016 - 18 answers

When Judas repents: Forgive or tell her to f*** off?

Is forgiving someone who has hurt you before and believing them when they say they won't again just naive wishful thinking? Or is it a virtue of the brave and the only path to maturity? The rest of the drama inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 34 answers

How to hit the reset button on our sex life and libidos?

Our sex life has been lackluster for a long time and I want to change that, but there's a long and complicated history.. Wall of text inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 14, 2016 - 33 answers

How to ask women out without seeming creepy or desperate

I am single after an 8 year relationship. I was engaged. I have no idea how to navigate today's dating landscape. Most of my past relationships have developed out of having regular contact with someone for a long time and getting to know them and become friends. Details inside.... [more inside]
posted by kbbbo on May 11, 2016 - 50 answers

Short relationship and he asked for space to think about things

I feel pretty upset that this guy I've been dating for 1.5 months (and known for longer) has suddenly decided he needs space while I was away. He has every right to choose to stop seeing me but we see each other frequently in our social circle and where he works/works out at and will continue to for another 3 months, so I told him I would like to talk to him about it in person. [more inside]
posted by korrasamus on May 10, 2016 - 18 answers

How do you teach boundaries and respect?

Is it possible to teach an adult how to be considerate and respect boundaries? If a child grows up without boundaries, is it impossible to learn? [more inside]
posted by serenity_now on May 9, 2016 - 29 answers

Is he not asking me out more because he is laid back or not into me?

I am still seeing the guy I posted about previously. But am I a convenience girl or does he genuinely like me? [more inside]
posted by Ariel432 on May 8, 2016 - 25 answers

Major Relationship Issue- How to Control My Resentment?

I'm currently harboring a lot of resentment towards my girlfriend. Her brother is a molester and she's unsure of what to do about it, and she has cancelled our wedding due to being unsure and afraid of losing the rest of her family. I have no idea what to do or where to turn, how can I stop feeling resentful? [more inside]
posted by Firestorm 2018 on May 7, 2016 - 45 answers

how do i emotionally disconnect while remaining supportive?

My spouse has got it rough, and I'm arguably the strongest pillar in his support network. Lately, though, I'm finding myself completely emotionally destroyed after offering him the support I've promised him. I need coping mechanisms to maintain my own emotional stability while still remaining supportive to my sweetheart. [more inside]
posted by blue t-shirt on May 4, 2016 - 6 answers

Should I bring up an issue of listening skills after one date?

I value listening skills in a partner. I was surprised to find that a man who was responsive, curious and affirming via online message didn't bring the conversational energy I expected when we met in person. Can I communicate this to him after our first date? [more inside]
posted by ramenopres on May 1, 2016 - 19 answers

How do I keep a realistic view of the past?

Given tendencies towards nostalgia and overly optimistic views of the past, how do you stay grounded in reality and move on from unhealthy situations without constant regret? Details inside. [more inside]
posted by AnonymousPuppet on Apr 27, 2016 - 2 answers

How do I fix my life?

I am about to graduate college with a business degree, a mediocre gpa, and very little experience. I have not made a single friend in college or been in a relationship. I lived with my parents for the whole entire time in college and they expect me to be married before leaving the house. I tend to succumb to extreme laziness and procrastination. I can spend 8 hours daily on the internet instead of doing homework. This procrastination has seeped into my job search. Am I ever going to be prepared for life? [more inside]
posted by sheepishchiffon on Apr 26, 2016 - 15 answers

Have I made a mistake?

I broke up with my first real long term boyfriend about a month ago, but it was dragged out for a few weeks so only unofficially ended with no contact a few days ago. [more inside]
posted by izz97 on Apr 26, 2016 - 9 answers

Interracial relationship issues

If you are a person of colour in an interracial relationship, what do you expect of your partner in terms of understanding racial issues? In what ways do they show you they are an ally to POC? How much emotional labour do you do to help them with that? [more inside]
posted by yawper on Apr 23, 2016 - 14 answers

Is it possible to change bad professional reputation?

I had a nightmarish experience during my PhD which is in most part due to my supervisor. I barely made it through and graduated with no publicaitons and shattered self-esteem. Thanks to a lot of luck, I landed a good postdoc position. It's a very narrow field of work though, everyone knows everyone and my PhD experience continues to haunt me... [more inside]
posted by sockiety on Apr 22, 2016 - 20 answers

Do I wait or do I go?

So a while ago, I asked how to give the relationship talk. I finally did it a little while ago when I felt ready but the answer was essentially that he isn't ready. He recently got out of a mega-long relationship and is worried about repeating that. My question is, do I wait for him? [more inside]
posted by cyml on Apr 19, 2016 - 26 answers

How can a fundamentalist explore beyond her upbringing?

How can I respectfully explore the possibility that, as a woman, I'm attracted to women? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2016 - 14 answers

What do you bring to the table?

What are men bringing to a modern marriage? I read lots of poorly referenced stories about how they increase a women's workload, don't perform emotional labor, and do much less of the child rearing. So what are men bringing to the table? [more inside]
posted by Kalmya on Apr 16, 2016 - 17 answers

Can an "alpha" be happy with a "beta"?

Despite an otherwise inspiring and fulfilling relationship, I recently made the very difficult decision to split with my ex-boyfriend of 5 years because I felt like I was always leading the charge on Big Life Things and carrying him along. I figured I needed an alpha partner who was quick enough to take care of me and of things before I could get to them myself. Now I am observing this very type of alpha person "in the wild", and wondering if I have made a mistake. "Alpha" ladies, what is your experience with "beta" partners? [more inside]
posted by qzar on Apr 14, 2016 - 50 answers

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