3061 posts tagged with Relationships.
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How do I stop being infatuated?

I'm a 40-ish married man. How do I stop being infatuated with a younger woman that I know very well? [more inside]
posted by Farce_First on Nov 29, 2015 - 32 answers

My partner has ED. How do I make him feel better?

My boyfriend has had problems maintaining an erection and reaching orgasm for the 7 months we've been together. I love him a lot and know that this hurts him, probably far more than he is letting on. This isn't about me - I would just love some advice from people that have either been in my or his situation about things that have helped them to feel like they aren't a failure or less masculine because of it. [more inside]
posted by kyetak on Nov 26, 2015 - 16 answers

A two-part question about cheating

For those who have been cheated on: how did you deal with the heartbreak? For those who have cheated: how did you deal with the guilt? Would like to hear from those who were in very long-term relationships (10+ years) and whose relationships did not survive. [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Nov 24, 2015 - 26 answers

It's not you, it's me, no, it's you.

I went out with a guy a few months ago. It didn't work out and for some reason I'm still puzzled by and dwelling at times on his behavior. Was it him? Was it me? Wtf. [more inside]
posted by a knot unknown on Nov 24, 2015 - 22 answers

How do we improve our intellectual connection?

I’m dating a man who is my kindred spirit in many ways. However, we have been dating for a year now, and I have felt over most of this time a sense of yearning for challenging conversation that I just don’t get with him. How have you seen people develop their critical thinking, abstract reasoning, and complex verbal expression abilities as adults? Conversely, if you have found happiness being with someone with whom you don’t have an intellectual connection, how have you managed around this on an everyday basis? [more inside]
posted by forasong on Nov 23, 2015 - 87 answers

How to deal with insecurity over exes in a new relationship

My new boyfriend's recent ex still contacts him. I don't think there is anything inappropriate going on, but the fact that they still have an emotional connection makes me uneasy. Can you give me a reality check on whether I'm being reasonable, and how to address it? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 22, 2015 - 21 answers

What should I do about this contact from an ex?

Three and a half years ago, I (a man) ended a relationship with a woman and have not had any interaction with her since. In the past few months, she (1) left a series of love notes for me on a tree by a running path near my house; (2) sent me a letter at my work asking to meet in person to speak about our breakup; and (3) sent me an email the same day asking why I hadn't agreed to meet with her in person. All of this would be okay (but awkward) had we broken up three weeks ago, but, as it's been three and a half years, I'm a little concerned. What should I do? Not do? I have not yet replied in any way. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 19, 2015 - 38 answers

Is there some Facebook tradecraft I need to learn?

For the sake of relationship harmony I've created a Facebook profile. How can I use Facebook without having it become an intrustive and hateful thing in my life? [more inside]
posted by six sided sock on Nov 19, 2015 - 30 answers

How to tackle multiple goals or get shit done w/anxiety etc.

Sort of recently (about 2 & a half months in) moved to a brand new town so my husband (I'm, 29, he's 32) could go to uni. I was so stoked on having a clean slate to start everything anew, but not so much any more. Reality has set in and i'm dealing with soaring bouts of anxiety and pretty severe mood swings, and can't seem to decide anything tangible to get shit actually done. Any ideas / practical advice regarding how to deal with this would be so welcome. I have so much time alone i think i'm actually going a little nuts. More inside [more inside]
posted by speakeasy on Nov 18, 2015 - 18 answers

"Good" Reasons for Not Doing/Getting a Desirable Thing

Coming at this from a psychological/sociological stance, not a personal/idosyncratic one. What are the broad categories of reasons someone doesn't do or get something they say they want? For example, one would be "Doesn't really want it" (actual desire or willingness to 'pay the cost'). Another: "Doesn't know how to achieve it" (the domain of knowledge/capability). And, perhaps, "Doesn't have permission" (no power/authority to effect the change). [more inside]
posted by dancing leaves on Nov 14, 2015 - 32 answers

I'm the "other woman" & I have a guilty conscience. What to do?

I recently, drunkenly engaged in minimal (Re: not sex) cheating with a person in a long-term relationship. They seem disinterested in telling their partner, whereas I can't shake the feeling that they should know... [more inside]
posted by meeeese on Nov 10, 2015 - 62 answers

Non-awkwardly doing my own thing during beginning of real relationship

I have a new boyfriend, total sweetheart, things are going well. It feels like a relationship that could be a good thing long term, though I know it is new. The kind of person I could see myself making a home with. It's been a while since I've been "in a relationship" so I'm not used to trying to fit someone into my life. Logistically...how do you do a good job navigating doing your own thing while getting closer to someone new? [more inside]
posted by Squalor Victoria on Nov 9, 2015 - 11 answers

Advice for dating someone with clinical depression

Most of the posts I found here were by posters suffering from depression themselves. I'm interested in those perspectives (what a partner can do to help) but primarily those of people who've been in relationships with a depressed person, but aren't depressed themselves. More specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by ism on Nov 6, 2015 - 24 answers

Political differences with boss

My very politically conservative boss is outspoken about her political beliefs and frequently spouts off about issues on which my opinion is the opposite (I’m very politically liberal). Her remarks tend to skirt (but not exactly cross) the line of what’s overtly offensive. I don’t want to jeopardize my working relationship with her, but I need some help and advice on how to cope with this situation, especially with the next presidential election coming up (I’m in the USA). [more inside]
posted by pupstocks on Nov 5, 2015 - 26 answers

My partner thinks I am emotionally manipulative. How do I address?

My partner read last week's FPP about emotional manipulators. He says that while he does not want to imply this is me at all times, it resonated, particularly this article. The internet is replete with advice on how to spot manipulators and get them out of your lives. It has little on how to stop it in yourself. Help. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 5, 2015 - 47 answers

How do I not want a relationship?

How can I become satisfied enough by non-relationship pursuits that a relationship no longer feels necessary? Using "relationship" to mean a romantic relationship, here. [more inside]
posted by cosmicbeast on Nov 4, 2015 - 20 answers

In matters of love, do you let the head rule over the heart?

In a relationship that is heading towards marriage, how do you decide on how much to compromise on? Does being practical trump being emotional when in a relationship? How do you make big life decisions? [more inside]
posted by rippersid on Nov 3, 2015 - 83 answers

Help us find a sex therapist in the Twin Cities

Wife and I recognize that we need outside help, but aren't sure how to find it. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2015 - 2 answers

When the past is present

I'm coming to terms with some things that have happened to me and I seriously *need* to see what healthy, well-adjusted members of the public can tell me: [more inside]
posted by a knot unknown on Nov 2, 2015 - 28 answers

Should I get back together with my ex a third time?

Even asking the question seems ridiculous. I can't shake the feeling that it isn't a good idea. Short version: we've broken up twice because he's emotionally unavailable, but we can't stay away from each other, probably because I tend towards codependency? Complications within! [more inside]
posted by Automocar on Nov 2, 2015 - 32 answers

Please help me break up with my boyfriend. I'm a wimp.

I've been with my long distance boyfriend for almost 3 years. He's not making time for me anymore. I love him but I'm scared that I'm wasting my 20s. Please help me break up with this ghost of a man. I am also a special snowflake who crumples easily. [more inside]
posted by Owlie on Nov 2, 2015 - 26 answers

Asked him not to sleep with other people, received bizarre response

I asked the guy I've been seeing for a few months not to sleep with other people. He freaked out and refused to answer, but is now messaging me like everything is completely normal. How do I respond? [more inside]
posted by Penguin48 on Oct 29, 2015 - 128 answers

Tricks for remembering names and context

I have a problem with remembering people's names. I've read previous posts on the topic and generally I can smilingly apologise and say, "Hey, I'm sorry but I am terrible with names." But my bigger problem is that I meet people in many contexts that don't overlap and all require various levels of professionalism. I don't mind apologising for forgetting their name, but to then add, "...and how do we know each other?" is veering into rudeness. Suggestions?
posted by tracicle on Oct 25, 2015 - 11 answers

I feel like an outsider, how to act?

There is a group of people at work that I occasionally hang out with in non-work time. I am not invited to most of that stuff. Few times I have bumped into some of them when they were on their way to bar/pub and got a last minute invite. Should I go anyway? [more inside]
posted by sabina_r on Oct 24, 2015 - 20 answers

Books about marriage

Can you recommend some books about marriage that have touched you in some way? Fiction or non fiction. [more inside]
posted by aeighty on Oct 23, 2015 - 38 answers

Why do guys put me on a pedestal, then friend-zone me?

Recently, I've been frustratingly "friend-zoned" by two guys who seemed to like me, how do I stop conflating platonic love with romantic love? [more inside]
posted by Kat_Dubs on Oct 20, 2015 - 27 answers

A web of deceit and misdirection, or, how to ruin two relationships

I've been dating a lovely woman for almost 4 years this fall but, within the past year, have developed an on-again-off-again romantic relationship with a former coworker. I feel the later has developed to a point that it is make-or-break while the former continues along without hiccup. I have a huge number of conflicting feelings... [more inside]
posted by landofthefree on Oct 18, 2015 - 25 answers

Am I being unreasonable, or is my girlfriend right?

I'm male, mid 30s. I've been dating a woman (GF) close to my age for several weeks now. My best friend (BF) is female, early 30s. I have a camping trip coming up with BF (we do this semi-frequently). GF doesn't want me to go because "grown men in relationships don't go camping alone with other women". Is she right? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 17, 2015 - 107 answers

How do I enjoy being single?

My ex moved out roughly 2 weeks ago. I'm feeling extremely sad and alone. How do I not jump into another relationship right away? [more inside]
posted by Nicole21 on Oct 16, 2015 - 20 answers

Can't love someone or just don't love someone? How do I fix this?

I have been a series of unsuccessful relationships where my feelings disappeared over time. I cannot feel love for my long term partner, but also no longer feel love for family members. I have a history of severe depression, which is clearly an issue, but am not currently feeling particularly depressed (by my own standards, if not those of most people). I don't know how to proceed in my current relationship, as I don't know if my feelings are masked, possibly recoverable or just gone forever. I have posted here before about other emotional issues, but I’m keeping this anonymous because the other threads would link this one back to me. The MeFi community was *amazing* last time. This is a much more complex issue, but I would still appreciate your views. Can I learn to love - my partner, myself, anyone? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 16, 2015 - 8 answers

How much should I believe my PMS/PMDD?

I want to leave my life half of the month—is this the truth? Or is the truth the first half of the month, when things are basically fine? [more inside]
posted by Clotilde on Oct 15, 2015 - 22 answers

What is it like to be in a partnership where one person has limited mobility?

What are the adaptations in your house that you've made to make your life a little easier (e.g., walk-in shower, service dog)? Is the limited mobility something you think about every day, or does it just become a part of your life after a while? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 14, 2015 - 12 answers

Books on proper development of LTRs?

I'm looking for recommendations on books that explain how to properly develop a long-term relationship with a view towards long-term commitment/marriage. Any ideas? [more inside]
posted by gadha on Oct 14, 2015 - 5 answers

Have you published an essay about people you know?

I've written an essay about my relationship with my ex. What are your experiences with publishing personal essays about friends or family members? [more inside]
posted by Tenzing_Norgay on Oct 12, 2015 - 21 answers

When things start going very wrong...

I started a new job in another country 15 months ago. It seemed to be going great and changed my life for the better. But then last couple of months, things started to go unexpectedly downhill and it snowballed from there. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 11, 2015 - 8 answers

How to find a balance with a (maybe?) flirty partner?

My husband and I have different boundaries when it comes to what we consider to be 'kind of cheating' behaviour and I'm struggling to deal with it. My current plan is based on a tit-for-tat approach, but that seems pretty childish. What is a better way to deal with this without becoming a crazy jealousy monster? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 9, 2015 - 33 answers

I want to hold your hand.

How do you deal with lack of physical contact as a single person, especially when it's one of your primary love languages? [more inside]
posted by tworedshoes on Oct 8, 2015 - 19 answers

I need to hear you say it

I like to hear the words "I love you" more than my partner likes to say them. What to do? [more inside]
posted by puppet du sock on Oct 7, 2015 - 18 answers

Should I tell my boyfriend that I love him? If so, how?

We've been dating for three months. I love him, but he hasn't said it yet, and I don't know if I want to say it first. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Oct 5, 2015 - 20 answers

How do deal with "If you loved me, you'd..." in a relationship?

I come from an affectionate family; my husband is physically affectionate, but he says "I love you" to me basically on my birthday and Christmas (you get the gist). I've told him recently I'd like to hear it once a day or more, that it means a lot to me to hear it. [more inside]
posted by Piedmont_Americana on Oct 5, 2015 - 22 answers

Approaches for financial imbalances in a committed relationship?

My partner and I are in a committed relationship of over three years. She's in academia getting her PhD, I hold a professional 9-5 "knowledge-worker" position making a substantial salary. We've been living together for a year and a half, and have worked out a financial situation based on equitable contributions (pretty much a percentage of our incomes). But, my partner is about to enter into the writing the dissertation phase, but her grant money will run out and taking out additional student loans just seems like digging deeper into insane debt. We're discussing a situation where temporarily I'll effectively be supporting her fully. What approaches have other MeFites taken in this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2015 - 39 answers

Compromise... how does that work?

I am madly in love with my boyfriend and I want to spend the rest of my life with him. But I also desperately miss being single and only being responsible to and for myself. I'm not sure how to cope with this; I don't know whether it's going to get better on its own as we get better at communicating with each other, whether I'm just going to gradually get used to the status quo, or whether I need to mourn that loss of independence and move on with my (generally pretty great) new life (maybe all three). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2015 - 16 answers

Help me clean up this oral sex misunderstanding

I didn't go down on her. How do I tell her why? [more inside]
posted by trinity8-director on Oct 2, 2015 - 17 answers

Dealing w/ being an Average Jane engaged to a brilliant genius?

So I screwed up undergrad, pretty much eliminating the possibility of an academic career for myself, and got engaged to a guy who is in the most academic of careers. I'm envious and embarrassed about my lack of career path compared to his glittering academic future, and my current job is really not long-term sustainable. Hopeless, miserable, and alternating between feeling bitterly envious and then tortured by guilt for being such an unfair jerk, I'm being a bad partner, and I really don't know how to navigate all this. [more inside]
posted by bugperson on Oct 2, 2015 - 63 answers

Your mind is telling me no... and your mind is telling me yes...

The Situation: A guy whom I felt complicatedly "led me on," and with whom I thought I had begun to come to a resolution, has rapidly returned to strong behaviors that led me to fall for him in the first place. This is upsetting and confusing, as I had made clear that these were what led us into the situation in the first place. I'd love some help and advice as to navigating a conversation with him about boundaries, while balancing complicated feelings of deep connection to this gentleman and the need to respect myself and model such self-respect. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2015 - 21 answers

Appropriate ways of coping

Two years ago, my husband and I separated. A year ago we got divorced. Although he initiated the split, we both agreed it was probably the best thing to do. We had managed to maintain a cordial but distant relationship until a few weeks ago, when he informed me that he is dating an old friend of ours who also happens to live on my street. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 29, 2015 - 22 answers

Books about setting boundaries

I'm looking for books, preferably audio books, about setting boundaries with people and learning when to say no/yes. I want something grounded in psychology, without any religious undertones (although I am open to wisdom from any religion as long as it doesn't get preachy).
posted by omar.a on Sep 28, 2015 - 3 answers

Well great. What do I do now?

I never thought I'd be posting a relationship question, but here we are. I don't want an LDR and I don't like talking on the phone. That's the least of it. [more inside]
posted by Dolley on Sep 28, 2015 - 12 answers

Does our decision to get an abortion mean that our relationship is bad?

My boyfriend and I have only been together for ten months, but things have moved really quickly. He moved in with me, and we have talked a lot about future plans. I just found out that I am pregnant, and we are leaning toward having an abortion. I can't help but to feel that if neither of us want to have a baby with each other, then our relationship is probably not as strong as I thought. [more inside]
posted by Wizzow on Sep 28, 2015 - 39 answers

V complicated, but hopefully interesting question

I'm in love with a guy with cancer. I'm 31 and starting to feel like I want my life to move on soon. Cancer means it can't with him, and he doesn't want to plan a future right now. What to do? [more inside]
posted by starstarstar on Sep 27, 2015 - 22 answers

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