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Moving in?

Boyfriend of 1.5 years and I considering joining homes. Some extenuating circumstances... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 20, 2014 - 17 answers

Is he a narcissist, or just very self-centred?

I've been dating a guy (30) for half a year, and though I am blinded by love, I'm starting to see signs that he could be narcissistic, but am not sure. [more inside]
posted by palomago on Aug 18, 2014 - 43 answers

Best resources/tools for relationship communication

My husband and I, as any couple, have communication issues. We'd love some books, online resources, and even therapy recommendations for us! [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2014 - 14 answers

How to best support my partner who wants help w/ shame & addiction?

My partner has been wrestling with alcohol and sexual shame for a long time. This week, he confided in me that he wants to seek help based upon a boundary I set for myself, that he does not want to live like this anymore. I don't want to "over-help" or engage in any co-dependent behavior and I want to be a loving partner in this. But I also need to protect myself and our kids. What can I do or what should I avoid? Specifics inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 14, 2014 - 11 answers

relationship problems rising from facebook

I have been with my girlfriend since 5 months ago. Since the beginning we became friends on facebook. I love and trust her and have not seen anything suspicious from her. The only thing that got me a little worried was that on two occasions she told me that she kind of still cared about her ex boyfriend who she broke up with two years ago. When she saw that I got offended she told me that I do not need to worry because the feeling she has for him, is like a mother-child feeling. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on Aug 13, 2014 - 32 answers

How to adjust my negative expectation of relationships

I grew up witnessing my parents' verbally abusive marriage. They are combative and insulting toward each other. Also, my mom has always blamed her marriage and kids for her stalled career and other unhappiness in her life. When I think of having a relationship, I automatically feel like it will drag me down and make my life worse. I've come to understand over the years that others actually think of a relationship as a safety net and source of comfort. I want to think of them that way too. How can I adjust my mentality? [more inside]
posted by vienna on Aug 13, 2014 - 16 answers

How to get over someone who left you for someone else?

How I get over my ex who left me for someone else? [more inside]
posted by Parh6512 on Aug 12, 2014 - 17 answers

What are some activities/dates I can do to boost confidence?

I haven't been feeling so confident lately. I know my SO could also be much happier if she felt a bit more confident. When we first met around 3 years ago, we were both extremely confident. Now we seem to have trouble being decisive, making decisions to better ourselves/get necessary things done, and choosing a restaurant or a date idea gets harder and harder. I would love ideas of things that could help with this. [more inside]
posted by bbqturtle on Aug 11, 2014 - 26 answers

Break-up apps that keep you from looking at exes on Facebook/Instagram?

Does anyone know of an app (or apps) that block you from looking at a particular Facebook page, or a particular Instagram feed? I've heard of Break-up Apps that recently have come about where you can 'erase' someone's photos, tags, etc. from your Facebook, as if they were never there, and I also know of chrome extensions which block you from a site altogether, but I can't find a good app that blocks only a particular PAGE on the site (i.e. www.facebook.com/ex'susername). I would like to be able to continue being 'Facebook Friends' with an ex, as not doing so will be disruptive. I also need to use Facebook for my job. I've already blocked them from appearing on my newsfeed and in chat, but I can't seem to stop myself from, fairly regularly, checking their Facebook page, or their Instagram feed. Any good solutions you've seen online? If not, I may have to team up with a programmer to create one because I think it'd be a very useful service! I sure could use it ASAP.
posted by anonymous on Aug 2, 2014 - 2 answers

Should I break up with my gf while I work on resolving my addiction?

I started dating my girlfriend six months ago. Since that time, I have gradually taken more of my stimulant medication than prescribed. I have told her on multiple occasions about the overuse of my stimulant medication and that recently it had gotten worse. Earlier tonight she told me that she is starting to distance herself from me and that she needs some extra space to protect herself [from being around someone with addictive behavior]. Her brother had a drug problem and she understands how emotionally draining it can be to have an addict in her life. What is the mature thing to do in this situation? Do I wait for her to potentially break up with me? Do I ask her for a break while I work on things? Do I just want to ask for a break to save myself from the pain of her breaking up with me first? I love her and I want her to be a part of my life but I don't want her to be consumed by my addiction while I get help. Please help.
posted by anonymous on Jul 23, 2014 - 15 answers

What conversations should we have before living in sin?

Dear hive mind, please suggest items for a checklist of issues/expectations/questions to discuss with my significant other before we shack up next month! I was reading this question and saw that many people felt that they would never move in with a partner before discussing their finances with a certain level of detail. I would love to know what other rules of thumb people have about establishing a mutual understanding, financially, emotionally, housework-wise, etc. before cohabiting. Possibly relevant details inside. [more inside]
posted by erstwhile ungulate on Jul 17, 2014 - 30 answers

How do you get out of being upset/reconnecting after a fight

I find myself spiraling down in negative emotions occasionally and want to learn about actual skills to pull myself out before the fight gets meta and out of hand. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Jul 17, 2014 - 13 answers

Help me find perspective, is my relationship half-full or half-empty?

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 years now, but it seems like we can't seem to find a good "groove". We're satisfied in the relationship for a while and then we get into petty fights and don't resolve them. I thought I was happy with him and really enjoyed his company. However, it's been more and more stressful and I need help figuring out if I've checked out for a while, or if the relationship has run its course. Hope me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 14, 2014 - 17 answers

Love songs for married couples?

Songs about long-term, developed love - not butterflies. [more inside]
posted by ohsnapdragon on Jul 11, 2014 - 78 answers

Sensual, not sexual

In a new friendship/relationship. Help us explore our sensual sides without sex! Possibly mild NSFW details inside. [more inside]
posted by Beaker's stripey socks on Jul 10, 2014 - 24 answers

I want to apologize like a BOSS

I was a bonehead and ruined my SO's morning; help me think of how to make it up to him! [more inside]
posted by like_a_friend on Jul 3, 2014 - 46 answers

Should I tell hubby about my poor behavior?

About 15 years ago I behaved badly. Should I tell my husband about it? Ordinarily I'd say no, it's in the past. But there are some complicating factors. Help me figure out what to do. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 29, 2014 - 29 answers

He keeps on flaking.

Today he forgot about our date, and i am really upset because it shows that he doesn't like me right? I would love to see him more regularly, but it isn't happening. At the beginning of our relationship we were both a bit nervous and getting to know eachother, but the last couple of times have been great and we really connected on a deeper level, which is why i still want to see him, but not sure if it is worth it if he flakes. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by aivilo91 on Jun 21, 2014 - 48 answers

Transitioning to a long distance relationship

My husband will be moving from where we live in the NYC area to Boston for work for a minimum of three to five years and I'll be staying here. I'm looking for suggestions on how to transition to a long distance relationship and then how to maintain it. Best practices, things that worked, things that didn't work, and any ideas for how to survive a difficult transition. [more inside]
posted by sciencegeek on Jun 21, 2014 - 19 answers

Remind me to never have a random hookup…

About a month ago, I hooked up with a classmate that I had met earlier in the semester. There had been a lot of tension between us since the beginning of the year, and it finally happened the last week of the semester. It was a Big Thing for me because it was the first time I had hooked up with a guy and outwardly acknowledged my bisexuality. It was great, but then the semester ended and we both went back to our respective hometowns for the summer. More details and questions inside... [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2014 - 10 answers

Can I ask her what I should wear?

I have been invited to lunch on my first day at a mid-sized federal agency by a fellow analyst. What should we talk about? [more inside]
posted by inevitability on Jun 10, 2014 - 10 answers

Should I continue pursuing her?

Basically, there is this girl I really really like, and there are a few things that tell me that the feelings are mutual. But she has already told me... twice... That she just wants to be friends with me. The way she acts with me doesn't match what she says though. [more inside]
posted by AbePlaysGuitar on Jun 10, 2014 - 74 answers

Is history repeating itself?

Boyfriend has a history of commitment issues. Am I letting the past affect my future? [more inside]
posted by askme on Jun 6, 2014 - 45 answers

Help me phrase this effectively.

Can you help me apologize to my boyfriend, and convince him to attend a wedding I can't go to? He doesn't think he wants to go without me, but I know (from experience) that he would have a blast. Complication: My reasons for not attending might not be clear to him. [more inside]
posted by janey47 on Jun 4, 2014 - 35 answers

How to deal with sexual jealousy in a relationship?

My boyfriend sometimes expresses sexual attraction to other girls when he's with me and I'm wondering if a) his actions are reasonable, b) my reaction to this is reasonable or c) if there are underlying issues behind this that need to be addressed. [more inside]
posted by sweetshine on Jun 2, 2014 - 72 answers

Should I end my relationship?

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years. I've always wondered if I was settling but ignored those feelings. For the past year I've seriously been thinking about ending it but have been so ambivalent. I broke up once with him last year but decided to go back after 1 week and see if it would work. I'm still having doubts. Should I just end it? [more inside]
posted by Satsue on May 31, 2014 - 34 answers

Me cry, he yell.

My partner gets angry when I cry sometimes and I don't understand why. [more inside]
posted by gumtree on May 29, 2014 - 35 answers

What, specifically changes as your relationship goes on?

OK people who have been in long term relationships (for our purposes 5 or more years, but the more years the better): How did/has your relationship change/d over time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 29, 2014 - 11 answers

MeFiting

I'm trying to learn more about the phenomenon of meta-fighting between romantic partners. I don't know if there's a better term for it, but what I mean is when a heated dispute becomes less about the original subject matter, and more about the way in which the current dispute is being conducted. For example, you might criticize me for fighting dirty: using a sharper tone than necessary, being mean, reopening old wounds, trying to change the subject, etc. Are there any psychology or self-help books that deal a lot with the dynamics of fighting/arguing/bickering that might discuss this phenomenon in particular? (Bonus for examples of this in movies or books.)
posted by Beardman on May 23, 2014 - 22 answers

Who can provide a shingles vaccination?

I want a shingles vaccination. My doc says no. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 23, 2014 - 23 answers

Is this a red flag in my 3 month old relationship?

I have been dating this girl for three months now. I think she is a sweet classy girl. The only problem I have with her is this: During past three months there were three occasions in which she wanted to go to a family event. At first she said that she was going to a family party. Then later she said that she made a mistake and that was actually a big party where half the city were invited. I texted her this morning asking her to hang out tonight and she said fine. Then this afternoon she said she rather hang out tomorrow and pack her things up for a trip she is going to go in 9 days. She just called me a few minutes ago telling me that she is invited to an event on FB which she just realized because her FB did not send her any notifications and she is thinking of going or not going. She always says she is not sure if she would go but ends up going any ways. [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on May 22, 2014 - 13 answers

Impasse

Having a part practical/part relationship with my husband that boils down to the fact that I love him but I don't love his stuff, and I want to live with him but I don't want to live with his stuff. I'm asking because it's been 5 years and nothing has changed and I literally don't know what to do to solve the problem of constantly living in clutter and filth. [more inside]
posted by bleep on May 17, 2014 - 45 answers

Love him, leave him?

Please help me sort out my long-term thinking about my very good but maybe not perfect relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 15, 2014 - 23 answers

Can you help me understand the end of my 2.5 year relationship?

How do I move past this constant feeling of regret and sadness? I blame myself, we mutually ended a 2.5 year long term and long distance relationship (UK and Canada). I can't believe she's gone from my life, we decided to go No Contact because I read that it is the healthiest thing to do and she's just gone, I can't comprehend it. I'm [M 22], she's [F21]. This was my first relationship with anyone and her second. I'm so inexperienced and that's why I feel that I messed everything up. I keep thinking about all the happy memories we shared together, I can't get them out of my head. It feels like we came to a permanent solution to a temporary problem, it was so sudden. I guess I'm looking for validation by asking this question which is probably a bit cheap so I apologise for it. I know I should just let this all go, but it isn't easy, I've never had a break up before. I really want closure but I know that will have to come from me. [more inside]
posted by fallingleaves on May 8, 2014 - 13 answers

Help me make sense of my emotions after breakup?

After about a year of being on the fence about a five year in total relationship, I ended it a about a week ago. I am surprisingly feeling relieved and free and a lot etter about my life in general, but I feel guilty for being happy. Help me understand? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on May 7, 2014 - 14 answers

Microsoft Access? Try Microsoft Barrier.

Oh, kind people of Metafilter. Please help this Microsoft Access newbie figure out how to connect different tables together when there is no predefined relationship. *Snowflakes inside* [more inside]
posted by oceano on May 7, 2014 - 7 answers

Our friend is grieving, and possibly getting scammed. What can we do?

A good friend was in an online relationship with a European woman for nine months. She was supposed to arrive in our country next weekend. On Saturday morning, he learned that she died in an avalanche. As details pile up, it has become clear to us that this woman never existed. The charade seems to be continuing and we are not sure how to proceed. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 6, 2014 - 37 answers

The doritos stalk at midnight...

FoodFilter: My boyfriend likes junk food. The exception being sushi. Otherwise it's all meat, cheese, chips, pizza, and soda. We may be living together at some point in the future as this is getting serious, but this is an issue for me. I've worked hard to get on a healthy diet and I do not keep ANY junk in my house. Sometimes tortilla chips and salsa. I eat mostly paleo, but do have cheese. [more inside]
posted by McSockerson The Great on May 3, 2014 - 49 answers

Rules for dating: 1...

This is mainly for my much younger sister although it might be relevant for little oink someday ... For the first time she has several people interested in her (they have said so). She asks me for advice. She seems flattered by the attention but not sure how to proceed. They are all good friends. I don't know what to say. Hovering between an unrealistic desire to keep her from getting hurt (don't first relationships often?) and the recognition she has a good head thus trusting her decision. Is there some basic dos and donts?
posted by oink on May 2, 2014 - 30 answers

Need some relationship advice in regards to giving space

Have been dating this women for a year and we recently started having arguments due to her work and other related issues. She keeps wanting space from me. [more inside]
posted by json12 on May 1, 2014 - 22 answers

Not sure about 5 year relationship... What do I really want?

I am 21 and my boyfriend is almost 23. We have been together since I was a sophomore and he a senior in high school. He's a good guy, a gentleman, and takes great care of me and his family is wonderful. Sometimes I feel like I'm not actually even that into him though, and have never have been. But why leave when there's nothing really wrong and he's so great to me and I really care for him? Am I taking him for granted? [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Apr 28, 2014 - 23 answers

Is this guy just too nice for me to stomach?

A few weeks ago I met this guy through a friend during a night out. While our group was roaming around the city, the two of us walked a few paces behind the rest, absorbed in our conversation. I found him to be cute and smart, if maybe too nice and self-effacing. But I was hoping he would ask me out. Strangely, when he did I didn't feel the excitement I was expecting. [more inside]
posted by caseofyou on Apr 27, 2014 - 57 answers

Concerned with husband's recent forays into binge drinking

My moderate-drinker husband has twice in the last month drank to the point of repeatedly vomiting. These binges are out of character and deeply concerning. Should he see his doctor? What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 25, 2014 - 42 answers

How to get over the petty stuff to maintain a healthy relationship

The relationship is great and we both see a future together, but at times I tend to focus on insignificant things or feel insecure for no rational reason. I want to prevent unnecessary conflicts arising from these feelings. [more inside]
posted by monologish on Apr 24, 2014 - 21 answers

How can a planner and an impulse-traveler make it work better?

I'm in a long-distance relationship: my S.O. is in California, I'm on the East Coast. We've been pretty lucky with getting to meet up regularly since his job often pays for him to come out here and I've had a number of opportunities to get out there. But I'm feeling a personality clash arising from his erratic scheduling. Question clusterbomb ahoy! [more inside]
posted by psoas on Apr 22, 2014 - 18 answers

Should I call my girl friend or should I wait for her to call back?

Should I call my girl friend or should I wait for her to call back? [more inside]
posted by mbn1455 on Apr 21, 2014 - 24 answers

I need some honest perspective on my relationship

My boyfriend and I have been dating since I was 16 and he was 18. I am not 21 and he is almost 23. We met in high school, though it's an awkward story of how we met.w [more inside]
posted by anon1129 on Apr 19, 2014 - 19 answers

Should I stay or should I go now?

I’m no longer in love with my fiance and I’m not sure how I should proceed. The complicating factor is our children. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 19, 2014 - 28 answers

Am I uptight, or is he being a perv?

I'm a woman in my mid 40's, and my husband is in his early 50's. We've been married over 20 years, have 3 great kids and a relatively good life. But our sex life has taken a weird turn here lately (at least for me). [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 16, 2014 - 39 answers

Just one year old marriage and in crisis

Just one year old marriage and in crisis [more inside]
posted by Sall on Apr 14, 2014 - 21 answers

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