It's tough to grow up much smarter than one's parents. Seeing clearly through the illusion of parental omnipotence at an unnaturally early age sparks a deep, lingering dread of perilous results due to lack of responsible navigation. I'm looking for writings shedding light on post-childhood fallout. Insights for unpacking it all, etc.
I'll be graduating next year with a degree in Psychology with a concentration in Childhood & Adolescent development. I'm looking to find a new job in the meantime, and I'm not sure if I should try to find something in my field or switch fields entirely. [more inside]
How long do you have to do something before it stops feeling like a chore? [more inside]
I'm about to start Pristiq, an SNRI antidepressant, as part of my treatment plan for depression/anxiety/ADHD. I've been on antidepressants before, but would like to hear what people's experiences have been with this one. [more inside]
I see a therapist twice weekly following a serious history, but I'm getting frustrated with the way things are going. I've tried talking about it with him, but that hasn't helped. I think it might be time to go, but I don't know the best way to handle things. [more inside]
I’ve spent the past two weeks really trying to figure out what I can do with my life after graduating with a bachelors in psychology in a year. Here’s what I know. The enjoyment of my work comes first, but while it comes in second, how much I make is also important. Also, I am an anxious person, so I’m trying to avoid something that is super high stress. [more inside]
I've solidified some tendencies over the last 10 years or so that I wish I could dissolve. It looks like introversion, but that's not a perfect label. It is not coping strategies that I seek, but ideas to really effect change, and any hope you can give me that such change is possible. [more inside]
Surgery? Fungal cream & athlete's foot? Cough drops? What are the easiest ways to trick the body to heal itself? And in which domains is the placebo near-impossible? Thanks in advance!
Does anyone know of any North American Psychologists or Psychiatrists doing any work on how patients are treated differently, dependent on gender? [more inside]
I am looking for a book that will help me work through issues with intimacy and being emotionally distant, anxiety surrounding myself and my life, self esteem issues, getting in touch with my emotions, and just dealing with a lot of latent frustration. Overall, a book on tools to develop emotional maturity is what I need. If anyone knows of a workbook with exercises that would be best since they tend to keep my attention, but if not a regular self help book would be awesome. [more inside]
After reading around forums on parental abuse, I'm struck by how often my mother has a behaviour/opinion/specific threat or saying that is so common it could've come from an official handbook. My parents didn't have a parenting 'philosophy', they just did what they liked and didn't give it much thought. How is it possible that these isolated, fairly unaware people could be reproducing the exact same abusive behaviour I've read over and over, committed thousands of miles away? [more inside]
I'm interested in finding the (psychological) reasons why someone decides to start and contribute to an open and collaborative project. After some research into open-source software (a typical example of open and collaborative projects), it seems to me that necessity (scratching an itch, or improving a product someone or her business is using) is the main driver. Is that so, and what are other motivations and incentives for people to work on open and collaborative projects?
I am considering leaving a tenure-track faculty position in Psychology in order to have a more normal life. I would be very grateful for suggestions on non-academic careers. More inside. [more inside]
I'm curious if there's any information about people who have trouble with creating something wholly new but instead seems much better at modifying or creating by assembling parts of things they already know. [more inside]
Am moving into a household w/ a Mom and 2 kids (18-22 yrs). The kitchen was a mess; I have scrubbed the walls, painted, added new lighting, rearranged drawers, added a radio and some color. After 20 years of scrambling to get food on the table, Mom is reluctant to spend much time in the room; cooking or socializing. [more inside]
Looking for good books about cults, new religious movements, charismatic leaders and the groups they lead, "brainwashing" / "mind control" (I realize that these are controversial terms and concepts), pathological personalities in positions of power, belief systems (successfully) promulgated by the mentally ill, and the social and psychological dynamics of the aforementioned. [more inside]
I have heard that Psilocybin Mushrooms have shown to have clinical benefits for depression and addiction among other things. I have had recreational experience with it in the 70s-80s but have not used it since then. I am interested in exploring a clinical treatment with Psilocybin Mushrooms but have no idea where to start looking. Does anyone have any experience with this clinically or have any suggestions of direction to take? Thanks Hive...Be well
I was accepted into an excellent, competitive graduate program, but I don't know if this is what I want anymore. Am I just getting cold feet? [more inside]
There's this strange feeling I get with certain people, most often romantic partners who have become very familiar to me. Suddenly I get a very strong sense that they are an entity who is distinct and separate from me, and I feel this very acutely for a few moments at most, until it fades and things feel normal again. Or similarly, I will feel very strongly that they are a different person when we're alone together than when we are in other environments. What's going on, and is there a name for these effects? [more inside]
About to get a new boss at work. New boss is a [reputed] notorious micromanager. I need quick tips and best practices for 1) developing compassion and understanding for the micromanagement supervision style, and 2) establishing and maintaining boundaries to protect my mental health without letting my work quality (or work relationships) suffer. [more inside]
Is socially shared cognition still in favor in psychology or was it a mid 1990's fad? [more inside]
Looking for a quote by Freud on how the common state of the modern person is neurotic, and that psychoanalysis at best can only minimize neurosis to a regular and tolerable level [more inside]
I’m a psychology major, a senior, and I have two semesters left before I graduate. I really don’t know what I want to do. And I feel scared and paralyzed because of it. I want to go to graduate school, because I enjoy studying psychology, and I am afraid that with just a bachelor’s degree I won’t be able to find a good job, but in order to chose a grad school, I feel like I need to have an idea of what career I want to achieve with grad school. [more inside]
I am interested in learning more about how world-class magazines create grids that work for both print and digital platforms. Any resources that delve into how tablets changed the way magazine content is propagated and how they have affected modular systems would be great.
In the film A Beautiful Mind, John Nash struggles with realistic hallucinations of imaginary people. At one point, a representative from the Nobel Prize approaches Nash, and Nash checks with a student familiar to him to verify that the Nobel rep is real. How would someone in Nash's position know that the student was real? How would such a person establish the reality of anything? [more inside]
I let the losses of loved ones, which I have experienced quite a lot over the years, define who I am and how I behave. I'm in therapy and working on it, but I'm looking for advice from people who fear losing others on how to deal with that ever-present shadow. [more inside]
Please suggest in-depth, emotionally intelligent, not overloaded with cliches and gender stereotyping, books about: marriage, marriage therapy, the psychology of relationships etc. [more inside]
I read this interesting New Yorker article by Maria Konnikova about how people become more (or less) resilient. I'd like to read more about the things she talks about. Can anyone recommend books that talk about resilience. [more inside]
Some cultures foster majority-held, strongly anti-LGBT beliefs, and some do not, and religion doesn't seem to be the source of these attitudes, just a justification for them. Considering all this, what cultural forces account for anti-LGBT attitudes? What are the origins of these beliefs? [more inside]
My six year old daughter has had difficulty moderating her emotions since she was about three. This mostly manifests in hour+ long tantrums of crying and screaming, but she is no longer out of control for the entire hour. Usually 15 to 20 minutes into the tantrum, she realizes what is happening but will continue to tantrum to save face or out of anger (or perhaps for another reason we haven't identified). We've tried talking to her about deep breathing and other relaxation methods to calm down, but frankly in the heat of the moment, these techniques fly out the window. [more inside]
26+ years of high power distance in my home country are really affecting my relationships with people whom I perceive as having higher status. Having moved to Western Europe, I can see the negative influence even better, and I'm not happy. Please help. [more inside]
I am casually aware of the idea that some people experience some works of narrative fiction by identifying with the protagonist of the story, and by experiencing the protagonist's story as if it were their own. What is the formal name or definition of this idea, and what are some canonical writings about it? [more inside]
OK, AskMe, around these parts we know and love the advice to get therapy. It's great advice! But what about the 201-level advice? Once you get yourself into therapy, how do you get the most out of it? I'm curious to hear some MeFite wisdom. What has made your experience with therapy richer and more helpful? Give me your practical tips, and tell me about mindsets and attitudes that you have found to be helpful (or not helpful). [more inside]
Some years ago a psychologist conned me into taking an IQ test. If that weren't bad enough, my test subscores ended up being, for the most part, horrible—nearly bad enough to put me into a percentile in which the 'intellectually impaired' are a part of. Though deep down inside I'm not convinced I'm the dolt I am on paper, these results have really fucked with my head and have made me spend much time questioning my intelligence. Really, all these results have done for me is lower my confidence and cause me a great deal of depression and anxiety that sometimes gets so out of hand that it leaves me feeling suicidal. And this I very well knew could happen. And I knew that receiving less-than-stellar results was highly possible due at least in part to my anxious nature which makes it hard for me to focus when around others. And I knew this would ruin me; and ruin me it has. Now the question is: can the damage be undone? [more inside]
I read a story recently that I've not been able to find on Hacker News or Google about behaviors that are built into websites that make them addictive. I cannot find the story--I'm creatively remembering now how it related to the bottomless feeds a la Facebook, random reinforcement, and perhaps social pressure. Does this thread ring a bell for the hive mind?
What games (or possibly other things) can you use to accomplish boosting your self-esteem via avatars and virtual experiences? [more inside]
I twitch or kick in my sleep, which wakes my wife. I continue snoozing peacefully; she can't get back to sleep. How can we improve things? [more inside]
I am writing an essay about asking the right questions in a therapeutic context (from the patient's perspective), and am looking for interdisciplinary sources for quotes and ideas other than my own to develop my thinking. The goal of the essay is to identify some common blocks to seeing oneself clearly and offer the reader solutions. Examples of useful sources are within. [more inside]
This might at first seem like a dumb question, because we take it as a given that people should believe other people. But when you ask a stranger a question, and they give you answer, you believe it - why? Or similarly, why do people believe their parents, religious figures, professors, etc.? [more inside]
I need to know the sociological or psychological terminology for someone who has a very narrow sense of self concept. For example, someone who puts all their focus into one specific thing and suffers through the rest of their life to engage in clubbing or fishing or movies . . . etc. [more inside]
I remember reading about this book maybe 3-4 years ago that collected the genuinely smart things said by terrible people, with an emphasis on hypocrites. Some examples were a popular preacher on marriage, who was later revealed to be an adulterer, and advice on financial prudence from con-men. [more inside]
My company is going through new management. We were informed that positions will be cut. We were told by upper management to make sure our resume is set up and we have a Plan B and C. Does anyone know of any documentation/study on the correlation of how many individuals told by upper management to have a Plan B leave the company? I am curious on how many they are expecting to find other opportunities outside of the company. [more inside]
I've been working through a career change decision and it involves going back to school. Did you change careers in your 30s and go back to school? Did it work out? (More details/specifics, but I'm interested in eventually practicing Clinical Psychology). [more inside]
I'm looking for books, preferably audio books, about setting boundaries with people and learning when to say no/yes. I want something grounded in psychology, without any religious undertones (although I am open to wisdom from any religion as long as it doesn't get preachy).
I'm part of a psychology department at a very small college. We primarily use a couple of classrooms, which each have one wall filled with built-in cabinets and some shelves. They've remained pretty much empty since they were installed a few years ago. It just looks boring, and I want to put things there. Help? [more inside]
A psychologist I know told me vaguely about a course/book she took where the teacher said something about how many of the descendants of Germans who fled WWII had service or help kind of professions, like therapists, social workers, academics, etc. I don't know if this is true or not, but I would like to find the book she was talking about. [more inside]
How do you score the Dabrowski Overexcitability Test? Here are two examples of tests/checklists, but I can't find a version of the test with a scoring scale to provide meaning and context.
I’m a lawyer, and have been working in civil litigation for 10 years. It never felt right, and I’m finally ready to make a change. My undergraduate was in psychology and I’ve always thought that I would feel more fulfilled working in that field. So, I’m scheduled to start graduate school next month to get my masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. I’m not sure that I want to work as a therapist, but it feels like that would be in the right direction. As I get closer to needing to quit my law job, I’m wondering if there is an easier way to get into my ideal career that doesn’t require the time and expense of going back to school. The problem is that I’m not sure exactly what I want to do. I sense it is something related to working on public policy for mental health issues, particularly concerning foster children or in the juvenile courts. Maybe working in the administration of a foster home, at a mental health non-profit, at a government mental health agency, etc.? I would really appreciate any thoughts, ideas of where to search, or if anyone has experience with this type of work. Thanks in advance for your help.
What is this (famous?) psychological experiment/demonstration/phenomenon? [more inside]
I'm trying to figure out, a few sessions into therapy, whether my feelings of initial apathy, now verging on annoyance, are a reason to consider looking for a new therapist or not. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]