I'm looking for books, preferably audio books, about setting boundaries with people and learning when to say no/yes. I want something grounded in psychology, without any religious undertones (although I am open to wisdom from any religion as long as it doesn't get preachy).
I'm part of a psychology department at a very small college. We primarily use a couple of classrooms, which each have one wall filled with built-in cabinets and some shelves. They've remained pretty much empty since they were installed a few years ago. It just looks boring, and I want to put things there. Help? [more inside]
A psychologist I know told me vaguely about a course/book she took where the teacher said something about how many of the descendants of Germans who fled WWII had service or help kind of professions, like therapists, social workers, academics, etc. I don't know if this is true or not, but I would like to find the book she was talking about. [more inside]
How do you score the Dabrowski Overexcitability Test? Here are two examples of tests/checklists, but I can't find a version of the test with a scoring scale to provide meaning and context.
I’m a lawyer, and have been working in civil litigation for 10 years. It never felt right, and I’m finally ready to make a change. My undergraduate was in psychology and I’ve always thought that I would feel more fulfilled working in that field. So, I’m scheduled to start graduate school next month to get my masters in Marriage and Family Therapy. I’m not sure that I want to work as a therapist, but it feels like that would be in the right direction. As I get closer to needing to quit my law job, I’m wondering if there is an easier way to get into my ideal career that doesn’t require the time and expense of going back to school. The problem is that I’m not sure exactly what I want to do. I sense it is something related to working on public policy for mental health issues, particularly concerning foster children or in the juvenile courts. Maybe working in the administration of a foster home, at a mental health non-profit, at a government mental health agency, etc.? I would really appreciate any thoughts, ideas of where to search, or if anyone has experience with this type of work. Thanks in advance for your help.
What is this (famous?) psychological experiment/demonstration/phenomenon? [more inside]
I'm trying to figure out, a few sessions into therapy, whether my feelings of initial apathy, now verging on annoyance, are a reason to consider looking for a new therapist or not. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
Why do some novices disregard advice and/or best practices? What can be done to persuade them to heed general guidelines? I'm an aquarist, and repeatedly I see a significant number of people doing things that will result in the harm or death of their fish, and it's due to well known problems. Yet many novices attempt those things anyway, with predicable results. I'm trying to understand to explore what advice could be given that would change the outcome. [more inside]
So I've been out of college ( psych and neuroscience BA) for two years now. I have very little experience beyond the classroom ( VERY little), no salient passions, and a physical disability. I have a history of depression and ADD-like symptoms. It's time for me to work- I can't afford to live on 500 a month from the government. But how do I get a job when even filling out job applications and customizing the resume to each job feels like slow torture? [more inside]
My psychiatrist lost his temper with me on the phone yesterday and said a lot of hurtful things. I must have deserved them, but I feel terrible. I have an appointment with him tomorrow (7/2) at 8am EST I need help figuring out how to keep my cool and understand how to be both a better patient and a better person. I apologize in advance for how incredibly long this is, and thanks in advance for those of you who read it. [more inside]
Dear Ask MeFi, I'm a Californian student thinking about possible career paths. If I were to complete licensure in Psychology, as well as in Acupuncture (MFT and LAc here in CA), would I legally be able to practice both modalities with my patients? Thank you, Confused Apprentice Practitioner (CAP) [more inside]
Greetings. I'm wondering if there are any notable or smaller scale poets and writers that were mainly hermits or eccentric? I'm not picky with the genre, country, or era. [more inside]
Whenever I listen to an album many times in a row, I get to the point where when a song ends, I can literally hear in my head the beginning of the next song. [more inside]
I am middle-aged. Without going into my personal history, it is sufficient to say I feel like life is consistently, repeatedly short-changing me over time. I am not exaggerating when I say that I basically have no one available who truly cares about me on a level beyond what I can do for them because I have no social status to speak of and life consistently goes horribly awry for me. [more inside]
I was just told that trigger warnings are either useless or do more arm, without any citations. Do you know any serious study that either proves or disproves this hypothesis?
A colleague and I are starting some new research in which we are interested in whether we can influence people's interpretation of emotionally-mixed music and language. We easily found music of mixed emotional tone (studied in the article linked here; paywalled, but I can share if anyone is interested), but it's been far harder to find mixed-emotion language that meets our constraints. More details follow. [more inside]
Are gut feelings ever wrong? I’m currently struggling with the decision about where to go to graduate school. I thought I'd found a pretty good option, but now I’m having inexplicably bad gut feelings about it. However, I can find nothing wrong with the option and there’s no obvious better alternative. I don’t want to randomly just pull out because I “have a bad feeling about it.” What is a rational person to do? [more inside]
Worked full time in assorted office jobs since 2004 while going to community college. In 2012, I started a (part-time) degree at University of Pennsylvania and in Fall 2015 (maybe Spring 2016) I will graduate with a psychology bachelor's degree. I have about 20K in debt and make less than 40k per year in a job that is not really a career. How can I transition to a career where I make at least 50k per year, preferably more? Many more details inside. [more inside]
I took neuroscience, research-methods and sociology courses in college and got a BA in Psychology from a respected state school in NY. I loved them, but taking courses and doing well on multiple choice tests in those courses is about all I did. I learned enough to get the gist of a more conceptually straightforward journal article, but now, trying to get a job, it's become clear that I need to know what I'm talking about. Help? [more inside]
I can't stop envisioning scenarios in which people I care about get into horrific car/train/plane accidents or get sick and die. How do I accept my powerlessness to protect my loved ones 100% beyond the shadow of a doubt and just live with it? [more inside]
Hi. I would like to explore new ways to address my problem of too many thoughts. [more inside]
I would like books and journal articles written by grave people with PHDs out their ass on the physiological and psychological effects of rituals. [more inside]
I recently met a really nice, intelligent, fun girl my age. She believes her coworker, whom I've never met, is trying to ruin her life. Because of this belief, she is fleeing her job and even her apartment. I have reason to suspect it's all in her head. Should I meddle or simply turn a blind eye? I feel bad because I really, really like this girl and want her to get professional help. [more inside]
I used to think it was OK to fantasize about other women as long as I wasn't emotionally or physically cheating. Fiancee did not, and we would both like me to be start being mentally faithful as well. What are your best tips for keeping thoughts of other women out of my mind? Details inside. [more inside]
Is there any academic argument or scientific evidence that what people believe about "what should be" leads them to develop underlying beliefs about "what is" in reality? A kind of worldview conditioning? Conceptually, this would be an inversion of the naturalistic fallacy (which goes from "what is" to "what ought"). Does such a thing happen?
What is a good gift for my unpaid undergrad research assistant that says "thanks for all your hard work as part of the team" that will support her in her current or future endeavors in counseling psychology, but won't highlight next year's uncertainty about grad school? [more inside]
This is a long shot, but I am writing a paper on the psychology of theatrical design (or at least trying to) and am having a hard time finding good resources on the subject. Looking for books, films, scholarly articles, ANYTHING discussing how any and all aspects of live concerts or theatrical productions (music, lighting, architecture and theater design, etc) effect the audience to create a "magical" or transcendent group experience. [more inside]
I've seen the recommendation on here for The Drama of the Gifted Child many times. I bought it last night and was reading thru it and it seemed ok until I started seeing a lot of talk about repressed memories. Wasn't that all debunked? I'm questioning the validity of anything else the author says. This is just not the book I expected based on the numerous and repeated mentions of it here on the green. [more inside]
I have tipped Google upside down and shaken it but can't find this YouTube clip/book/name of relevant professor. I think I found the first mention of his academic work (with a female co-author) on behavioural change/competing priorities in an Ask answer. He discussed interviewing stroke (?) patients who were prescribed daily medication and how he unexpectedly found the underlying reasons they wouldn't take their pills. More details under the cut: [more inside]
I'm so incredibly tired of using up questions on this topic, but I need a fill-up on motivation and ideas about where to go from here. You'll know from seeing previous questions of mine that I've been looking for my first job for the better part of two years now. I've received wonderful advice each and every time, but I never really started putting it to good use until about six months ago ( depression, ADD, etc etc). The problem? It's been six. damn. months. and I haven't gotten so much as a call or an email back. From anywhere. What am I doing wrong, what reasons are there to keep trying, and how do I keep myself from going insane when it feels like all my resumes, cover letters and emails end up being sucked into a black hole? [more inside]
Need help in establishing whether hypnosis would help me overcome some issues from the past that are affecting my relationship. [more inside]
I have a problem with work stress. It causes me to isolate myself and not want to go out and meet people and do fun stuff. I'd like to get some input as to how I can overcome this negative pattern. [more inside]
I vaguely recall reading that people will tend to change as they get older so as to "balance" their personalities. Extroverts become more introspective, for example. Does this idea have any merit and where can I read about it in more depth?
I'm looking for universities that have strong research in behavioral economics, decision science, political psychology, organizational psychology—basically, applying psychology to understand systems and society. Any universities come to mind? [more inside]
Trying to identify this elaborate custom-tailored performance art/ARG project I read about, possibly on MetaFilter, circa 2007-2010. Basically: you apply for the chance to have this group go to your hometown and stage an elaborate theatrical experience personalized to you, starring all your friends and family, for the purposes of creating a powerful emotional experience. [more inside]
New grad student here, back from 10 years in the private sector to get my masters (and if I'm lucky, a doctorate) in counseling/psychology. My question in brief: Should I hold onto my class notes and readings? Did yours come in handy after you left yon ivory tower? [more inside]
I am studying psychology and like to make associations and note similarities between different theories. For example, perhaps I see a relationship between Fromm’s concept of conformity and ideas of enculturation and socialization, from there maybe I can then link to constructs of social interaction in Vygotsy’s work on learning. I believe that I am looking for a non-linear organization system similar to a big mind map, semantic network, or a personal wiki. Any suggestions about how to structure something like this? [more inside]
From memory it was recorded in Black and White and probably from the 19060s. I saw some of the play on TV about two or three years ago and I didn't catch the name or the writer. At a guess, it was probably originally on BBC TV from the days before there was colour television - which would place it in the 1960s. I don't think it was from the 1950s because there was an air of modernity about the furniture, coats, dresses - I think. It was set in house or modern apartment with modern styling and the whole play may have been silent - as in no spoken words - just gestures and expressions or perhaps the characters mouthed words. We get to see into the psychology of the individuals - jealousy, fear, arrogance, disappointment - all of it under a veneer of civility. The way people moved around in it, it was almost like a ballet - the whole thing was very styled and unnatural - but meant to insightful and realistic about the inner workings of how people interact. [more inside]
I've posted here plenty seeking help related to mental health issues (bipolar depression, PTSD, irritability) and also with help talking to my parents. Now those two have merged and I'm trying to figure out how to talk to them while I am also readjusting to the outside world after spending 8 days in an inpatient psych ward. That readjustment is so very hard, and I don't want them pushing my buttons so I have to go back. I'm hoping someone here can help me strategize. Here's what's going on, with apologies for the length. [more inside]
Am I demisexual and is this rare? [more inside]
People throw around the term claustrophobic to describe tight or otherwise uncomfortable spaces. I actually am claustrophobic, to the point where I'll have panic attacks or come close to blacking out. How can I make this clear to people like my landlord who do not understand the severity of the problem? Would a diagnosis help? [more inside]
During the last six months or so, I've noticed that they haven't had those standard hand-held shopping baskets available in Walmart. Why not? This is quite annoying to me personally, since I hate using a giant buggy for my typical shop, but also annoying because every other store seems to still have them. Is there any reason for them to have disappeared, and if so, why only at Walmart? Also, any idea on an affordable and sturdy one for my own use?
I used to like people, but now I don't. I fear I'm creating an irreversibly solitary life for myself. I think the problem must be me, but I'm not sure what the cure is. Looking for advice. [more inside]
I'll keep this one uber-short: I'm 25 years old, and 1.5 years out of college. I finished with a transcript and GPA not reflective of my abilities because I was, and still am, suffering from an anhedonic depression and what could possibly be a shade of BPD. I know I need structure and routine if I'm ever to get out of this rut. I've done a course in medical coding and found it wasn't for me. I want to go back and continue down the same path that lit a fire in my belly coming out of high school: obtaining a professional degree in either clinical psychology or neuroscience and making a concrete difference in people's lives. [more inside]
I have observed a new phenomenon in myself this year and noticed different patterns in how my brain interacts with language in the period after trauma. I have a lot of other stress reactions going on that seem to be hypothalamus stuff (loss of circadian rhythm, weird appetite things, feeling hot and sweaty) but am not sure how any of that plays into processing language. I would love to learn more about this, either from anecdotes or from a more research-based perspective. [more inside]
I'll be turning 25 in two months' time. For a variety of reasons, some of which can be teased out with a thorough reading of my ask history ( chief among them the fall-out of a cerebral palsy diagnosis, namely a llifelong sense of otherness and a lack of familiarity with what it means to be the author of one's own life), I feel like there's a huge discrepancy between that number and the ccoping skills, initative, emotional balance and vision for the future that I have to show for it ( a lack thereof, in my case). How do I adult when I feel so stunted? Vaguely Freudian wall of snowflakes inside. [more inside]
I guess I'm 39 going on 9 but I need you to explain feelings please, and what I might be able to to about them. Can I stop/manage/fast-track the negative ones somehow? Illustrative example inside but I'd really like to hear broad principles please [more inside]
After struggling with a few largely non-crisis issues for the last eight years or so, I've decided to go see a therapist. I've seen a counselor before, and she's lovely, but I feel like I need more cognitive insight now. I found my current counselor by calling the local Pride Center and getting a list of names, then going with the first one who answered their phone. I want to make a more informed decision this time. [more inside]
I'm soon to mentor a friend through a period of personal reflective study. An area I'd like to touch on is that he persistently clings to conspiracy theories, such as those of Leonard Horowitz. It is not my place to impose my own beliefs, but as he has limited exposure to contrasting material I would like him to balance these views with the "other side" and draw his own conclusions. [more inside]
My therapist suggested that I do some activities with my inner child. What are some activities you've enjoyed and have helped you heal? (a variety of ages inside) [more inside]