69 posts tagged with Polyamory.
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How to discuss home life with your coworkers when you're polyamorous

I've been polyamorous for a long time, and kept it quiet at work for most of that time because it's seemed unprofessional to do otherwise. But now I work at the kind of place where my teammates and I all know the names of each other's partners and kids's partners and parents and pets and blah blah blah — and I'm in a serious, stable, committed long-term relationship with two people who I hope to spend the rest of my life with, so hiding the existence of one of those two people is starting to feel Real Weird. I also expect to stay at this company for a long time. How can I navigate this situation other than "Keep lying forever"? [more inside]
posted by nebulawindphone on Dec 19, 2016 - 62 answers

Should I give this polyamorous relationship a chance or end it?

I'm in a polyamorous relationship of less than a year. It has increasingly been a struggle for me in terms of self-esteem, fear of loss, and anxiety. Lately I've been thinking it's more fair to end this relationship than continue. Is it worth attempting to take this journey in hopes that it will be ok or should I just end the relationship with the idea that, like marriage or wanting children, it's a incompatibility that's a deal breaker? More details below. [more inside]
posted by Thirty7Degrees on Nov 15, 2016 - 17 answers

I'm in a poly relationship with someone whose partner I loathe

Is it possible to maintain a polyamorous relationship where my partner's other partner is someone I despise? I am very much in love with someone who is married to a person I have met, talked with, and entirely hate. Do metamours typically get along? Should they in order for a relationship to be healthy? [more inside]
posted by seiryuu on Aug 24, 2016 - 29 answers

Resources for a fluid-bonded, closed triad.

Where can my husband, my girlfriend and myself (female) find polyamory resources specifically for and by FMF closed triads who are fluid bonded? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 17, 2015 - 6 answers

Are polyamorous relationships more stable?

I've seen a lot of couples go through serious relationship issues when both members of the couple are under significant stress simultaneously - does it help to have a third (or fourth) "partner" to stabilize the relationship when two of the members of the relationship are losing their minds? [more inside]
posted by Toddles on Sep 14, 2015 - 31 answers

Casual or polyamorous domination and submission

So, I'm having coffee with a polyamorous women who is potentially interested in submitting to me. Help me guess what she might mean, ahead of time, so I can be more fluent when we talk. (Trigger warning: graphic consensual violence.) [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Oct 29, 2014 - 8 answers

Keep on trying with polyamory?

I'm in a relationship with one person at the moment who I really like and care about. But I'm someone who really craves closeness (insecure attachment style) while he needs a lot more space and independence. I am very lonely a lot of the time. While if I imagine my ideal life it would be with him and other partners or close non-sexual friendships this hasn't happened. I'm not sure whether to keep on trying? [more inside]
posted by ninjablob on Sep 19, 2014 - 11 answers

Committing to a monogamous relationship when previously polyamorous

If you were previously polyamorous and committed to a monogamous relationship: how did you do it? How did you deal with those feelings that monogamy just didn't felt quite right? Were you able to replace the need outside relationships fulfilled with something else? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 24, 2014 - 10 answers

How To Encourage My Wife To Have Sex With Other Men

Over the past few weeks, at my suggestion, my wife has taken up exchanging highly sexual emails and chat sessions with other men. This is a turn-on for us both, and our sex life has benefited enormously from the habit. In conversation, when I suggest that she could move onto IRL sex, her reactions vacillate between,"I don't think I could do that", and "I don't know who we'd ask...maybe we should take out an ad?" The most revealing thing she's said is that a part of her feels like she owes it to herself to take a chance on doing this. So my questions are: how do I encourage her to go through with it, without the encouragement crossing into "pressure". And secondly: given that we're both introverts with very small social circles, where do we find, and how do we approach, interesting guys for her to sleep with?
posted by anonymous on Sep 10, 2013 - 29 answers

What is going on here? (Relationship clarity)

Some advice needed on a newly poly marriage...issues regarding imbalance of resources/effort, feelings of rejection, control issues, etc Please PM me if you think that will be more helpful. [more inside]
posted by queenba on Aug 15, 2013 - 41 answers

When do I pop the statement "I'm in an open relatioinship?"

When do I let someone I'm out with casually (not yet romantically) know that I'm currently in a very committed yet also an open relationship? (Both of us were previously married, have been together 5 years, and realize that monogamy and commitment are not necessarily mutually exclusive for us). I've been out with women who, I think, were interested in me and in whom I might have been interested. I worry if I say something too soon, I might be being presumptuous, but if I don't say anything until much later, they might feel lead on. So I've just ended up saying nothing and things stayed casual and "friendly." The one time I told one woman I was in an open relationship - and this after only a second lunch out - she literally fled the restaurant! Since, I've become a little gun shy.
posted by StraycatA2 on Jul 9, 2013 - 48 answers

How to acknowledge two relationships in an "about me" blurb.

I am going to publish an article in a magazine. I've been asked to send an "about me" blurb. I want to acnowledge my girlfriend as well as my long-term partner. Can't figure out the wording. [more inside]
posted by not that girl on May 31, 2013 - 17 answers

Adoption and Polyamory

What are the chances an openly polyamorous couple could adopt an older child from the foster system? [more inside]
posted by tomatofruit on Apr 17, 2013 - 13 answers

Is continuing to sleep with an ex ever not a bad idea?

TL;DR: The guy I'm dating non-exclusively is still sleeping with his ex. I can't decide if this is a red flag or not. For the record, I have been the one insisting we keep things open. [more inside]
posted by krakenattack on Feb 28, 2013 - 36 answers

Accidental polyamory: is this how it's supposed to work?

Should I be worried about the direction my casual relationship with a married guy is heading in? If so, how do I tactfully deal with it? [more inside]
posted by houndsoflove on Feb 4, 2013 - 36 answers

Surviving a separation, part 2: boundary setting!

Hoping for advice on setting boundaries within a co-parenting relationship following a marital separation. [more inside]
posted by justonegirl on Nov 9, 2012 - 27 answers

Poly to mono?

Polyamorous, yet want to focus on one person right now. How to tell the others? Is this even normal or should I start re-evaluating my orientation? [more inside]
posted by sucky_poppet on Oct 27, 2012 - 12 answers

Dealing with insecurity in the BDSM/poly life

BDSMfilter: Newbie male bottom + experienced poly top = insecurity vortex! Help! [more inside]
posted by RockPuppet on Oct 22, 2012 - 13 answers

"i miss you." "UGH, really?"

How to deal with feelings of revulsion when others are expressing their need for your time and care? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 17, 2012 - 31 answers

What to do with a sexless marriage?

Is sex vital in a marriage? Do I need a new perspective, a new conscience, counseling, or a divorce? (NSFW) [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 10, 2012 - 42 answers

Sexual awakening: From vanilla to firecracker?

Personal experiences where your partner was initially not very sexually adventurous, but now is? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Oct 3, 2012 - 46 answers

Puzzling relationship pattern

General relationship pattern question about the end of limerance as well as some specifics, with some concerns about monogamy/nonmonogamy. Somewhat long. [more inside]
posted by zeek321 on Oct 3, 2012 - 16 answers

How can I give romantic relationships a different place in my life?

How can I give romantic relationships a different place in my life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 10, 2012 - 24 answers

Can I be a lech and a feminist?

Can a hyper-sexed, promiscuous man also be a good feminist? [more inside]
posted by scaryblackdeath on Jun 19, 2012 - 42 answers

With snowflake details inside, how would I go about navigating the waters of finding a partner for limited openness?

I think I may be interested in exploring an open relationship at some point down the line, but where do I meet others like me? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 18, 2012 - 19 answers

Custody and Polyamory

Can more than two parents have full legal (and physical) custody of a child? [more inside]
posted by karminai on May 5, 2012 - 11 answers

How do I ask potential dates for head shots on dating sites?

What's the best way to ask for photographs from someone on an online dating site? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 21, 2012 - 18 answers

How does a polyamorous couple non-awkwardly "friendzone" someone?

Polyamory-filter! How does a couple non-awkwardly "friendzone" someone? [more inside]
posted by aldebaran on Feb 8, 2012 - 11 answers

Should I let my boyfriend sleep with other women?

Is it a poor idea to let your partner have sex with other people, knowing that you will be hurt by it? Will it be more likely to help or hurt our relationship if he indulges in his fantasies with other women – and is this a reasonable compromise for someone to make? [more inside]
posted by labandita on Jan 22, 2012 - 107 answers

Resources on changing to non-primary/secondary polyamory?

Resources for dealing with a LTR going from monogamous to non-primary lovers? [more inside]
posted by kalessin on Jan 8, 2012 - 3 answers

Help me figure this (polyamory-related ethical question) out

This question is about polyamorous ethics. It's part of a larger question about my relationship with my long term partner and considers the ethics of the third party. What I'd like a read on or resources to help think about: the ethics of expressing interest in someone who is already in a partnered, monogamous context. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 16, 2011 - 26 answers

Should I try harder to talk myself out of marriage?

Even though logically I don't feel like he's "marriage material," I am overwhelmed lately with a desire to be married to him. Which way should I be going on this? [more inside]
posted by thrasher on Dec 15, 2011 - 28 answers

Supporting a bisexual partner without ignoring my own needs

How can I best support my GF in her bisexual identity/lifestyle in a way that doesn't ignore my own needs? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 1, 2011 - 12 answers

Would YOU want us to tell you?

Should we tell our friends about our non-standard romantic situation? And if so, who should we tell? And when? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 4, 2011 - 63 answers

When do I disclose my preference for nonmonogamy?

I don't want to have monogamous relationships anymore. At what point should I tell this to people I'm interested in? [more inside]
posted by Cogito on Jul 20, 2011 - 29 answers

Where are all the cute poly people in the SF bay area?

Where are all the cute / hot and adventurous polyamorous people in the SF bay area? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 11, 2011 - 16 answers

How to tell my longterm boyfriend I've been having an emotional affair?

I've gotten myself in a relationship pickle involving my long-term boyfriend who doesn't know about my long-distance mutual feelings for a good friend. We live in a developing country so no therapist/couples counseling available and uprooting the relationship (aside from not being what I want) is logistically very hard (but of course it always is.) How to come clean and recommit to boyfriend but also be allowed to keep in touch with new friend? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 11, 2011 - 26 answers

Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

This is for all y'all who are GBLTQQIA-identified (let's use 'queer' for short). Do you find--or how do you find--that living in a non-queer world puts pressure on your intimate relationships and partnerships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jan 29, 2011 - 24 answers

Can GGG stand for Great, Gregarious, Genial?

What if I don't WANT to be GGG anymore? Is my marriage doomed? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 31, 2010 - 36 answers

Recommendations for a poly relationship counselor in the Bay Area?

Recommendations for a couples therapist in the SF Bay Area who specializes in working with couples in poly relationships? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 15, 2010 - 6 answers

Can you marry, date other people, and stay sane?

Married and dating? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 4, 2010 - 58 answers

regarding polyamory

Regarding polyamory and potentially breaking up a monogamous LTR. A question for a friend. Special snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by NoraReed on Jun 28, 2010 - 15 answers

Friends 4 now benefits later?

How to tell a friends with benefits that you dont want the benefits for now but perhaps may want them later? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 15, 2010 - 10 answers

wandering into a poly mess! i'm down

A couple for me, poly for her -- how does entering into somebody else's polyamorous context 'work'? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 11, 2010 - 10 answers


Failedpolyamoryfilter: Help! I care for two people and I have to choose between them. What does one base a decision like this on? How do I tackle this situation? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 4, 2010 - 26 answers

That's some threesome!

It's pretty likely that I'm soon to be involved in some sexy-time with a man and a woman who are married with an open relationship. I'm really excited and a little nervous because I've never done this. Very slightly NSFW details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 21, 2010 - 16 answers

How do I get women to check me out?

Help a girl attract women on OKCupid. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 18, 2010 - 20 answers

Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice and Lions and Tigers and Bears and Hot Tubs and Hairy Chests and Press-On Nails...

Some now-former friends have decided to jump into polyamory as a solution to a big mess of relationship crazy. I think this is a terrible, terrible idea, for reasons specific to both the couple and polyamory as a whole. But how do I discuss this with them (and others) without sliding down the slippery slope of defining what other types of relationships are "right" or "wrong"? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 26, 2010 - 50 answers

How do I introduce the idea of a polyamorous relationship?

How can I tell my very monogamous husband that I am polyamorous and would like an open relationship? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2010 - 98 answers

Lover's Lane, Chicago IL

What semi-private places in Chicago can two lusty kids go to mess around if they can't go home? Do motels that rent by the hour actually exist? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 15, 2010 - 13 answers

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