Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with Personal

Christmas Betrayal! Or not?

Splunge — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:29:55 -0800

I have a problem with a broken Christmas promise. My girlfriend and I agreed that since money was tight, we would not buy gifts for each other. We would purchase gifts for family. Children, parents, siblings. But we would only buy for others. Not for us. Then my girlfriend bought me an iPod Touch. While I certainly love the gift I feel that I should now buy her something, even though she insists that I do not. I'm thinking that since the agreement was broken (granted with love) I have the right to purchase her a gift. (With love) But OTOH, would that be loving, or tit for tat? Am I overthinking this? Is it a given that I get her a gift? Or should I just accept my gift and leave it alone, and in my mind maybe be missing some signal of some sort? While money is tight, it isn't so bad that I couldn't get her something. It doesn't have to be the same amount, but I'd feel like crap if I didn't get her a gift now. Help!

What are those personalized audio cones above me at the museum?

codybaldwin — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 20:14:01 -0800

What are the personal/individual audio cones are museums called? Is it possible to make one at home relatively inexpensively? I can't find any information on them. This may be because I don't know what they're called, and so I couldn't really adequately look to see if this has even been asked before. Regardless, these are sort of halves of spheres that hang from above and project audio onto guests of museums. You also sometimes see them at internet and computer gaming cafe's.

So, what're they called?
How do they work?
Can I make one relatively cheaply?

Altered Rent check - Memo line erased

Anonymous — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 19:08:53 -0800

My rent check is being altered every month, the memo area completely blacked out. Feeling at risk, what are my options? Hello. I am paying rent, the personal check I write every month contains a memo line reading "Rent for July 2009".

Every month my landlord completely blacks out the memo line. It may be for their own protection, but I am feeling I should do something about this.

I understand the Memo line is not enforcable, and my bank will still fill the check regardless of this obvious alternation.

The check is payable to my landlord, First and last name.

What can I do to ensure my checks will not be altered? should I go to my bank and tell them not to cash any checks that are altered? I use a carbon copy checkbook so I do have a copy of each check that was altered.

If it matters, this money is going to my parent whom I am paying a small amount for rent each month to continue living in the house.

We are currently not on good terms, but that is besides the point- I am fulfilling our agreement!

Comments? Thank you

What makes a good academic scholar?

jfricke — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:32:08 -0800

Where can I find personal stories of popular scholars on their life as students, phd candidates and/or professors? I love my field of study and I am a smart student. But sometimes I feel like this might not enough. That there is something more I should have.

Thus, I am looking for personal stories of popular scholars on their life as students and/or scholars. An example would be Leon Lederman's Low Pay and Long Hours that is also quoted in another ask metafilter thread:

"It was probably five years after my PhD when I began to realize I was fairly competent. By year 10, I realized to my surprise that I was as productive as those best friends who brought me into physics, even though they understood much more than I did (...) Hard work--yes, it really accounts for a lot of the success. Most scientists aren't brilliant. Some are even very slow. Being solid is important--that means really knowing what you have to know even if it takes a long time. Many "brilliant" guys are superficial. Determiniation, doggedness and hard work are the characteristics that are highly valued in a group."

Although I am more interested in humanities or social sciences, personal accounts from any field are fine with me.

Toronto personal trainer

pcameron — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 15:40:03 -0800

TorontoFilter: Help! I've been signed on by a modelling agency! I need to find a decent personal trainer and nutritionist in the Toronto area. Does anyone have any recommendations? I got scouted in an elevator, and two weeks later they signed me on, so this has taken me by surprise. They want me to spend two months getting in better shape, then come back. I need a personal trainer who can set me up with a decent exercise program, and a nutritionist to help me with my diet. I can only afford to see both one time right now to set up an exercise and diet plan for the next two months. My current career as a courier leaves me with not a whole lot of disposable income. I live in the Ossington/Queen area, but can travel across the city for the right person.

Know any good blogs by high school or college age females?

Joe Beese — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 09:14:46 -0800

Know any good blogs by high school or college age females? It's character research for NaNoWriMo. Videos are fine too.

I can't really take my 3 weeks of sick leave at once...can I?

sio42 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 07:19:28 -0800

The trial-and-error method of ADHD drugs: I am already afraid of screwing up my job and I am concerned about all these side effects I read about people having. I can't spend 3 months spaced out or whatever until I find the right drug cause then I'll REALLY screw up at work. Can you help allay my fears or tell me how you and your psychiatrist and/or therapist worked this out? I can't believe I'm not posting this anonymously, but I wanted to be able to reply more easily than I can with an anon post.

Anyways, after working on my anxiety/depression issues for almost a year, I am SO MUCH better now, without any medication. It was just a lot of things falling into place. My most recent questions had to do with moving and life direction and I see now that it was just more of the same flittiness I've had my entire life and is probably the ADHD. But that's not really what I want to ask here.

I am in a decent job. It is ok, my hatred of the mundane aspects aside. However, I know that my problem with follow-through is a big issue. I never really cared at any other job, because it was either customer service, or I was in college and changed jobs almost every year due to needing to schedule classes. But I need to have A job and we know how the job market is right now.

When I go back and read the posts on here tagged with ADHD, people are often saying "straterra/vyanase/adderall/ritalin made me so spacey/tired/crazy/whatever". I CANNOT go through months of being worse than I am now. My position requires me to be here during the open hours of the office, so working PT or from home is not an option, it's already been discussed in a different circumstance. I'm here or I have no job.

I am meeting with a psychiatrist pretty soon. He and I worked together almost a year ago before we decided to take me off meds entirely but I wanted some personal experiences here. My GP at the time (I no longer see her), over two years ago, had put me on adderrall because she thought I was ADHD, but it made me feel crazy after a little while. I think maybe the dosage was wrong and I was having some severe severe depression at the time. She also had me on Lexapro and maybe that didn't act well with the Adderral. Anyways, I figured I couldn't be ADHD because of the effect Adderrall had on me.

Wow, this is long. I guess I'm trying to answer why this hasn't come up before as a diagnosis until now with my psychiatrist and therapist. Basically, they didn't konw what was wrong with me and were trying to help me manage anxiety/depression, which we did a really good job at. But the other ADHD stuff remains, and I meet all the criteria for it in the DSM according to my therapist.

tl;dr: How can I deal with trial-and-error drug testing that may make me worse at work than I already am? I am afraid to tell my boss. How have you adult-diagnosed ADHD folks dealt with this?

Should I seek a personal injury lawyer after being rear ended?

zzztimbo — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 06:42:07 -0800

Should I hire a personal injury attorney after being rear ended? I was rear ended while waiting at a freeway off ramp stop light. It was completely the other driver's fault. The driver even admitted fault to me, the other person that I hit (I was pushed forward into the other car) and the CHP that came on to the scene.

My issue is my car is an older BMW with high mileage. My insurance is claiming it will be a total loss. I'm thinking that I won't get much for the car. I don't think this is fair and would like to be give as much money as it takes to find a similarly configured car.

The car I was driving is a BMW wagon with manual transmission. It is pretty difficult to find one of these in my area (SoCal). Should I seek a personal injury lawyer?

A little distance, please, people!

lottie — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 17:39:47 -0800

Help me say, nicely, "Please don't touch my child". I am the mother of a two year old boy. Lately, it seems like in public he's getting a lot of attention. When we get public transport, people can't help but reach out and touch his cheeks, pat his legs or feet, stroke his hair or tickle his ribs, saying things like "Oh, how cute..." etc. People even kiss his head before I get a chance to say anything. The attention is a daily thing if I take him out. This reached a point of complete lunacy yesterday on a crowded bus when no fewer than three people AT ONCE were pawing him from different angles - a nice elderly lady who had helped us onto the bus, a young, sweet handicapped guy with no sense of personal space (really, truly meant no harm - sort of petting his legs and playing peek-a-boo, which my son enjoyed heartily), and a friendly, middle-aged lady - oh, and the elderly man sitting across from saying "what a good boy, how sweet" etc, while reaching out towards him. It really started to get overwhelming for me, but my kid seems to take it in stride, if not enjoy the attention. I watch him carefully to see if he's uncomfortable at all, and want to put a stop to it before it comes to that.

I don't mind that he seems to be liked - I get a kick out of watching people make cute faces at him while we're sitting in a cafe or something.

What can I say? I don't want to lie, and say something like he's sick with a cold, because son doesn't need to learn to lie casually like that. I just want to say something firm, clear, yet still friendly.

Yes, yes, this should be easy for an adult to handle, but I am looking for some well-worded suggestions that I can feel good about, particularly since these people just seem to be good, well-meaning folk on the whole - you know, nice people who give up seats for us, or help us onto trains. I just don't think it's a good idea for my son to learn that it's OK for people to touch him whenever they feel like it. It's really getting kind of wierd and cloying.

Boombox Cinema

billtron — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 04:27:26 -0800

By 1989 the boombox had established a fairly stable place in the pantheon of pop culture cinema, with the releases of both Do the Right Thing and Say Anything. Can you remember seeing (and hearing!) the machine in earlier films? I'm especially interested to learn its earliest appearances.

Personal financial software recommendations

Judyst — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 07:35:05 -0800

I use MS Money which is being discontinued by Microsoft. Can you recommend a replacement based on firsthand experience. The obvious is Intuit, but I'm finding mixed reviews on using it for personal finances. I basically want to track spending (downloading bank and credit card data), and to sort and analyze spending for income tax and budgeting purposes. I don't really care about managing a portfolio with real time data through internet connectivity, nor do I need to make financial investment decisions. Thanks!

What to do with $1000USD

~Sushma~ — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 08:43:23 -0800

A charity gave me $1,000 USD they raised for me after a drunk driver wiped me and my motorcycle out. I am 56 yrs. old, sick from cancer and will be losing my job in December. I have little savings and will have to work at whatever my body lets me do, and probably lose my health insurance. I plan on selling my home and its contents and downsizing to a studio apartment. I have no credit card debt but hold two mortgages, both will be a wash at the sale. What is the best bang for my buck for this $1000 in this economy? A CD? Online savings account? Any suggestions?

Use cash to start a business or for a down payment on a home.

mintchip — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 18:40:50 -0800

Use cash to start a business or for a down payment on a home. I have been interested in having my own business. I have read business magazines for years and have even had a couple of small service-based businesses that I ran part time. No big bucks there but a rewarding experience.

Recently I've been considering trying to start a business for real. I have a small sum of cash (between 10-20k) I've been slowly saving for a home down payment.

It's a tough choice. Since I need a home to live in, buying one would mean an investment in my future and security. However, chances are that I won't get rich working for a private company. In fact, it's quite hard to get ahead nowadays with most of the good middle management positions gone. Meanwhile, most of the people I've known who did quite well for themselves did it by owning their own business.

I'm not saying it's easy. I'm just thinking that owning a business seems like my best shot at getting ahead, and it also happens to be a genuine interest of mine. At the same time, starting a business is a huge risk (I think it's something like 4 out of 5 fail within 5 years) and I could lose the money as well as a lot of time and energy.

I believe I have many of the qualities that would contribute to success in business. But it's hard for me to know if I have all of them.

What's your take? How have those of you who have been in a similar position weighed the pros and cons of such a decision.

$20k Loan on $79k Home?

rougy — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 17:19:48 -0800

House loan advice needed. Should I take out a loan against my house while I'm trying to sell it? I need some help from some people familiar with numbers and money.

I'm between a rock and a hard place. The only good thing I have is my house, which is completely paid for, and recently appraised at $79k.

It's for sale, and I think it will sell within the next three to six months—twelve months tops—but I'll need some resources to keep me alive during that time.

I'm thinking of taking out a short-term, two-year loan for $20k and living on the money and using that money to pay back the loan until the house sells, but I'm not a money person and I don't know if that's a wise move to make.

I could really use some good advice. Thanks.

Recommend a professional skin care brand?

pinkbungalow — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 05:46:40 -0800

What is your favorite professional skin care line? I'm opening a studio where we will offer skin care services. I have been searching and researching and trying different lines. I am ruling out Dermalogica. What has worked for you? Nice smelling, organic, all that would be great but it has to be a line that can produce good results for my clients. I've already selected PCA, but I'd like to find another that may be a notch down in price points. I can't recommend something I don't believe in, so I'd love any suggestions.

How to get into health and fitness industry

ecco21 — Sat, 18 Jul 2009 07:40:07 -0800

I am interested to hear about opinions about the health and wellness industry and potential jobs. I have been in corp. america for almost 10 years and tired of the inability to help and make a difference in peoples lives. I have over 20 years of athletics through team sports, individual sports, gym time, and other outdoor adventures. I have always been interested in nutrition, personal training, health, and getting through to people about the importance of their health. Most of the books sitting around my place have to do with things like muscle anatomy, strength training, nutrition, stretching, etc...

The challenge is figuring out if I need to go back and get a biology degree? If I should just jump in and do personal training? Or if there are other alternatives out there?

The biggest catalyst lately for a change has been this rekindled affair with working out/getting back in shape and the realization that corp. america is not a good fit for me.

How can I break the weight loss plateau?

icollectpurses — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:03:14 -0800

I am not seeing results of personal training/working out, what can I do differently? I have been working out 'regularly' since early May. Because I've hit a plateau near the end of May, I got a personal trainer and have been working out 3x a week with her and working out by myself 30-60min a day the rest of the week. I am eating healthy 5-6 small meals a day of fruits, veggies, good protein. I do cheat a bit, with chipotle and a bagel or so, and, I am not seeing any results, neither in inches or lbs.

My personal trainer is telling me that it takes a good month to see the results, and it's been almost 4 months since I started training. I am getting discouraged and think it's a waste of my time and money.

I've read up on some stuff on plateau and what to expect, but it's been about a month and a half since I hit my plateau and I am working out more than before, doing more cardio, and diverse weight training.

Am I missing something? Has anyone experienced the same? What can I do to break the cycle? I have lost 10-15lbs in the past several times (yo yo effect), and this time I was able to do it in 2-3wks, and I think it's just harder to lose after that.

Anyway, if you have any suggestions, I'd appreciate it.

What birthday present should I get my mother?

idyll — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:34:43 -0800

Birthday gift ideas for mom? My mother is turning 60 in just a month and my family has assigned me with the task of creating a present for her from all of our family members.

I have had the idea of having all of us write our wishes and memories in a book along with photos of us and/or our times together, but a lot of our family members have moved thousands of miles away. I am curious as to whether there are sites out there that allow you to do that and then they print the book for you?

Can anybody recommend a personal trainer in Austin for my 70+ dad.

monkeybutt — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 18:45:35 -0800

Can anybody recommend a personal trainer in Austin for my 70+ dad? my dad is retired and has slowed down. his sedentary life is slowly killing him (and my mother with it). i need somebody i can hire to go to his house and kick his ass. s/he needs to be able to not only train him physically but motivate him psychologically so that he can enjoy his twilight years (and hopefully stay out of a home for a long as possible). nutrition training a plus but not necessary.

he is not infirm by any measure, just lazy and slowing down. i firmly believe that with the proper intervention he could reverse this trend and realize a healthier outlook.

i'm obviously looking for a concrete personal trainer referral that specializes in geriatric clients. however i will gladly welcome any advice from mefiers that have put up with the same situation.

I'm looking for a website about/for people that like to collect data about themselves.

SouthCNorthNY — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 11:49:41 -0800

I'm looking for a website about/for people that like to collect data about themselves. I'm talking about people that like to plug in what they ate, distance walked, money spent, hours slept ect. into a spreadsheet or program and chart their life.

What's a good replacement for Mac Quicken

diode — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 09:57:23 -0800

What's a good replacement for Quicken on the Mac? I've been struggling with Quicken for years now. 2007 is my latest version. Perhaps it's me that's the problem. . I don't want to flame on Quicken, I just want something else. My primary thing I like to do is download my accounts directly from my bank. All else is optional.

camping toilet advice

cameronfromedinburgh — Sun, 31 May 2009 06:09:26 -0800

Prior to a few short camping breaks this summer I'm looking to purchase a camping portaloo - more for my wife's benefit you understand! Any advice on models/makes etc and how much chemical stock I need. Also how user friendly are they?, if you know what I mean...

Recommend News Blogs

billtron — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 07:12:54 -0800

JournalismFilter: Please recommend good blogs/online columns by individual reporters. I really enjoy reading Ta Nehisi Coates' blog at The Atlantic, Jasmina Tešanović's work on BoingBoing.net, and Benjamin Kabak's SecondAvenueSagas, not just as good sources for news but also because there is something rewarding about following a particular author's path through the world on a day-to-day basis.

Are there particular online writers whose blogs or articles you would recommend for the similar reason? For example, do any individual writers at any of the collective political blogs stand out to you? Journalists at newspapers or magazines? Random individuals with a passion for some topic? Thanks in advance for any suggestions!

Anything to speed up finger and toe nail clipping?

querty — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 00:25:53 -0800

lifehackingfilter: Anything to speed up finger and toe nail clipping? When it comes to personal hygienic chores, the technology has not advanced for the basic nail clippers; all of us have been using the same tool for our whole lives. We have electric tooth brushes, much better shaving tools, but nothing new for the nail clippers?

So are there "advanced" nail clippers out there that I don't know about? Or anyone know anything cool being developed (maybe lasers)? Or other hacks to speed up nail clipping?

And of course you can pay somebody to clip your nails for you, but that's not very "lifehacker"-like.

I feel guilty about a work situation, how can I ease my mind?

weh546 — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 19:12:15 -0800

I feel guilty about a work situation, how can I ease my mind? I have just had my first week of "work" at a restaurant that I have been interning at for the past three months. I say "work" because I am training and I am not yet on payroll.

The past three months have been great. From the moment I stepped into this restaurant I wanted a job there. I worked hard, listened to what I was told, and did great. I let the Chef know that I was interested as the weeks and months went by. Within the last two weeks, the Chef approached me on Tuesday and said there was an opening and that I was required to stay until December. I asked him if this was in any way negotiable since I wanted to go back to school in September. He responded saying we would talk later when he got back on Monday. Over the weekend, I emailed him telling him that I would not take the work for granted. He replied asking if I was going to take the job.

This decision to take the job if it was offered was an extremely difficult decision for me to make. I am in between school right now, and taking this job would require me to take a leave.

That Monday I was at work very early in the morning to do gardening for work and headed to the restaurant directly after. I had a discussion with another Chef about staying and learning a station but then decided that I was going to go home instead after I finished my work. About 20 minutes later when I finished up, I headed to the line to see if any other work needed to be done. The Head Chef looks at me and tells me what we are going to have a talk tonight. Round 2 of our conversation. At 9 tonight. I look at him and shyly tell him that I was about to leave. Confused he questions the fact that I was going to learn a station. At this point, I had no idea what to think, do, or say. A pit inside of my stomach grew the size of a softball. As I left soon there after with horrible embarrassment of what I had just said. Thinking horrible thoughts that my job was lost and the opportunity I had was gone. I freaked out.

The next day, I was on edge, I didn't know what to say, or what to do. The end of the night rolled around, I went up and asked him if he still wanted to have our talk. He looked at me, and said sure. At the very end of the night we completed our agreement; he had decided to take me in.

Since then, I have felt guilty about asking him. I felt really selfish and actually fairly undeserving of the job. I feel that it's something the entire kitchen staff looks down upon me by. I'm sure they don't remember, but I can't get it out of my head. I feel embarrassed by it. I feel I insulted him to his face. I feel bringing it up now would be awkward since so much time has passed ( about a month) and I had hoped that my feelings would have changed but they have stayed the same since I've been back a week. I have been embarrassed to talk about this with anyone. What can I do?