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What's the deal with the ASQSE?

My 21 month old's daughter just sent home with her a questionnaire called the ASQSE, which from what I gather is intended to help diagnose ASD. Her answers on the questionnaire would indicate that she doesn't have a problem. BUT. They sent this thing home with me for a reason, right? [more inside]
posted by Night_owl on Aug 19, 2014 - 13 answers

Fancy events + no sleep + small children = help?

Family trip coming up, and I need advice on helping my five-year-old daughter manage sleep-deprivation and jetlag. In the context of a wedding weekend, with all the attendant social and behavioral expectations. With bonus similarly-aged relative who brings out her most rambunctious side. What can I do by way of scheduling, boundaries, etc., to keep this sane while still being polite? [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Aug 17, 2014 - 18 answers

Youtube Amateur Night

Your favorite amateur musical performance on Youtube is... [more inside]
posted by Potomac Avenue on Aug 13, 2014 - 19 answers

Keeping a kid entertained during grown-up dinners?

In the next few weeks, I will need to attend a series of late-running formal dinners... with a five-year-old in tow. Please recommend your most magical, engrossing, dinner-table-friendly activity books, games, small toys, etc. for the early school-aged set, so we can keep her quietly in her seat and out of everyone's hair. [more inside]
posted by Bardolph on Aug 4, 2014 - 28 answers

Looking for the Metafilter of parenting

A friend of mine just had a baby in a somewhat isolated area. She's feeling alone and in need of support. Does anyone have suggestions for online communities that are respectful, articulate, and not full of woo? She says the ones she's found have been too judgmental (posts mocking/disparaging other parents), or filled with anti-vax, co-sleeping, and breastfeeding dogma. Bonus points if it has a large number women who are the main breadwinner in the family.
posted by snickerdoodle on Jul 29, 2014 - 11 answers

Is this normal? Toddler day care edition

Mini-me is starting day care at a place that takes the toddlers to a local park every day. I'm cool with this (wearing him out FTW!) but they apparently have the class walk there — about six blocks through a dense urban area. I was a little surprised by this practice for such little kids (18-36 months). Husband is really concerned about the whole thing and I'm not sure what to think. Is this actually a totally reasonable thing for toddlers to do in a group care environment? [more inside]
posted by annekate on Jul 28, 2014 - 42 answers

Tell me again why teenagers shouldn't be having sex.

My 15-yr old daughter recently told me she has been having sex with her boyfriend of 10 months (also 15 y.o.) [more inside]
posted by cherrybounce on Jul 28, 2014 - 78 answers

VH1 Classic for Babies

I'd like to put together a playlist of great live musical performances on Youtube to play for my baby. What are your favorites? [more inside]
posted by Potomac Avenue on Jul 27, 2014 - 16 answers

Help me get my kid a phone

Parents, what do you wish you knew when you got your kid their first phone? I need practical advice, but I'm also interested in the less tangible parent/child relations-type advice, too. [more inside]
posted by BlahLaLa on Jul 23, 2014 - 23 answers

Sharing custody, but the kid only wants to be with me.

I share custody (50/50, week on - week off) of my eight-year-old with her dad, and have since he and I split up over three years ago. Lately she's been spending all of her time at his house crying for me. Since she can't point to any tangible problems to fix, I don't know what to do. Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 24 answers

Daughter with mental illness moving out, practical advice?

19 year old is moving out to a rented room this week. We live in a city where young adults typically live with family until marriage or 30s, and her four siblings (one older, three younger) live with us. The decision to ask her to move out if she escalated in breaking household rules (no drugs, porn, sex-work, hold down a job or school, don't abuse other family members) has been run past her psychiatrist and long-planned. She's excited to live on her own with no restrictions, we are terrified due to her long history of risky behavior and struggles with borderline personality disorder and PTSD from abuse. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 21, 2014 - 17 answers

My son is panicking about learning to swim. Help?

My kids are going to a day camp for the first time this summer. They're scheduled to swim twice a day, but my son has been refusing to go into the pool and panicking when the counselors try to encourage him into the water. How can we convince him the pool is fun, safe and comfortable? [more inside]
posted by zarq on Jul 11, 2014 - 43 answers

Is it normal to feel this crazy?

We have a 17 month old boy. We love him very much. Sometimes my husband and I discuss having a second child. Truth be told, I don't know if the two ounces of sanity I have left would survive it. [more inside]
posted by MayNicholas on Jul 11, 2014 - 44 answers

Introverted three year old and family get togethers

My introverted three year old refuses to engage at family gatherings. But how do I teach her to be polite? And what exactly is going on in her head? [more inside]
posted by Omnomnom on Jul 6, 2014 - 40 answers

Toddlerfilter: How do we prep for our first weekend getaway sans bebe?

My wife and I are leaving our 2.5 year old with her grandmother for the Fourth of July weekend. How do we prepare for this first trip away? [more inside]
posted by Tevin on Jun 27, 2014 - 8 answers

True Love & Sexuality - Middle School version

Asking for a friend - her 12 year old son is "in love" with a 12 year old girl. Hormones are active and kids are definitely interested in doing more than just holding hands. My friend is struggling to figure out reasonable rules on dating behavior, especially since in her culture, children this young simple don't date and yet here in sunny California the rules seem to be different. Complications inside. [more inside]
posted by metahawk on Jun 22, 2014 - 36 answers

Just because they share half their DNA....

Should I help my daughter connect with her half-sister? Or more precisely, should I help my daughter's half-sister connect with her? [more inside]
posted by marionett gjorda av strumpor on Jun 19, 2014 - 22 answers

I don't want to send an actual baby to kindergarten

Let's say I have a five year-old daughterabout to start kindergarten in the fall. She's whipsmart, hilarious, kind, and generally awesome. Let's add, though, that she's overly babyish, timid, prone to crying over the smallest stuff, and lagging behind her peers in basic coordination/athletic things. She doesn't run well. Even with training wheels, she's a nervous wreck on her bike, constantly braking because she's "going too fast" (even as the reality is, she could walk faster.) She's prone to dramatically declarations of fear about pretty much everything. If you toss her even the softest Nerf ball, she'll cover her face and possibly shriek. Despite all of her finer points, her crying, her mewling, her uncoordination, and her babytalk are causing her peers to tease her. And as her parents, we want to help. We want to help her get the sort of confidence and basic physicality that will help her tackle new challenges without tears and panic and play better with kids her own age. What are some things we could do with her to get to kind of--if you'll pardon me making up a word--de-infantilize? Okay, now remember all of those ideas you just had for me, but here's one more thing: I don't have a daughter. I have a son. And all of the above describes him. [more inside]
posted by DirtyOldTown on Jun 17, 2014 - 83 answers

Collective protective instinct?

I am looking for research/articles/papers on people's instinct to sacrifice for the "greater good". I have read an article mentioning John Bowlby and a term called "collective protective instinct", but outside of said article I haven't found any mention of this term. [more inside]
posted by alona on Jun 16, 2014 - 6 answers

Worried mom of 10-year-old son with inferiority complex

10-year-old that struggles with many things who, for a few years now, has, when feeling sad/depressed, talked about how no one likes him, he's not good at anything, has no special qualities, isn't smart... etc. Looking for ways to help him. [more inside]
posted by youdontmakefriendswithsalad on Jun 15, 2014 - 51 answers

A special book for a special dad.

We are expecting our first child and I am an excited and joyful father to be. I would like a book or a pair of books on pregnancy and child rearing with special conditions. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 15, 2014 - 10 answers

Seeking Parenting Support Group in Seattle

My sister is a mother of twin girls, 14 years old. Just this year one began engaging in "NSSI" (cutting herself) the other was found to be having a sexualized, online affair with a 19 year old girl. [more inside]
posted by uhom on Jun 5, 2014 - 6 answers

A question about parenthood from a single, childless guy

I am in my early forties, single and childless. Many of my peers have opted to marry and have babies. I don't see myself joining them any time soon but I'd like to understand them a little better. So what are the aspects of parenthood that single, childless people (men in particular) Just Don't Get? [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet on Jun 1, 2014 - 27 answers

What books or resources would you use to teach a kindergartner chess?

My question is twofold:
  1. What books, websites, or other resources do you recommend?
  2. Any tips for teaching a very young player?
He already knows all the basic moves and rules. [more inside]
posted by axoplasm on May 28, 2014 - 15 answers

Self-aware mommy blogs?

Recently someone on the blue pointed me to Fosterhood, a blog written by a foster mom and I was obsessed--read the 270+ pages of archives in about 3 days. I'm looking for other similar blogs, but googling for 'top recommendations' of parenting blogs hasn't exactly found me what I want. [more inside]
posted by tinymegalo on May 23, 2014 - 22 answers

How can a child make their parent feel bad about their parenting?

Friends told me the reason I'm emotionally unstable is probably mainly because of how I grew up and I needed to reconcile with my dad. [more inside]
posted by pelu on May 21, 2014 - 54 answers

Insurance for a New Baby?

We're expecting our first in a few weeks! How and when do we get insurance coverage for the little one? [more inside]
posted by mmmbacon on May 20, 2014 - 14 answers

Communication Resources for Children of Narcissistic Parents

My sister was recently given a talking-to at work for her tone, after she unknowingly made one of her employees cry. She's been told she talks to people like they're stupid. And despite the fact that she is a very sweet, loving, and compassionate person, she does do that sometimes. She's not always aware of it happening, but sometimes she is, and she says it's hard to stop. Our mother was the same way, and what my sister says is, "Sometimes I feel Mom's voice coming out of me, and I hate it but I can't stop it." She's asked me for some resources that will help her learn how to communicate better, and be aware of her tone and fix it when necessary. It's especially important to her now that she's pregnant and doesn't want to talk to her child the way our mother talked to us. Any suggestions for her? I've already got Non-Violent Communication on the list, and I'm looking for good resources for children of narcissistic mothers. What else?
posted by rhiannonstone on May 14, 2014 - 8 answers

Stop biting behavior in an SPD/ASD kid?

Our young (<6) child has sensory processing issues, and is lashing out physically when she is overwhelmed. We don't want to pull her from a generally beneficial school, and she's already in occupational therapy, what else can we do to stop the aggressive behavior? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 13, 2014 - 11 answers

My preschooler is the slowest eater on the planet

I have a 3 1/2 year old who will be starting preschool in the fall. He currently attends a home daycare, where he has breakfast and lunch, and often dinner. Once he starts preschool, we will have to manage breakfast and dinner at home. He is an incredibly slow eater and when we eat dinner at home, it literally takes him until bedtime to eat. This makes breakfast a major challenge as well. Getting him up earlier doesn't necessarily help because then he's groggy and uncooperative and will spend that extra 20 minutes moving at the speed of molasses in terms of getting dressed and toothbrushed. Please help. [more inside]
posted by telepanda on May 12, 2014 - 31 answers

Best ways to discuss new pregnancy with stepchild?

My husband and I have been married almost a year (lived together before that) and have a good relationship with his 12-year-old son, who lives about an hour away and is with us in summers and every other weekend. Now I am pregnant. We are excited to tell stepson this weekend, but I want to think a bit about... [more inside]
posted by bluedeans on Apr 25, 2014 - 20 answers

What details could be worked out before having a child with a friend?

I am considering having a child with a friend to whom I am not married. We would be living separately, but would have joint legal and physical custody. What might be some details that we should work out ahead of time? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 23, 2014 - 29 answers

Resources for ADHD in children

So... I am 99% positive that my three-and-a-half year old daughter has an ADHD diagnoses in her future. She is the poster child for literally every symptom on the "10 early signs" list, and family members/care providers/random aquaintences have all asked "do you think...?" So while of course I will eventually do the appropriate screenings etc - what I'm looking for here are anecdotes, experiences, research and strategies for a parent of a child with ADHD (or, you know, who exhibits all the behaviors and issues of one who does). [more inside]
posted by celtalitha on Apr 9, 2014 - 29 answers

How young is too young for dyed hair?

My son is 12, and he's set on dying his hair jet black. I'm not sure what reasons I should give if I tell him no, or what consequences may arise if I tell him yes. I'm hoping to hear from some of you with experience raising, teaching, or being a child like this. [more inside]
posted by bibliowench on Apr 8, 2014 - 80 answers

non-traditional parenting for dummies

What resources exist for non-romantic adult friends thinking about having a kid? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2014 - 16 answers

How do I get to know my parents as people?

After seeing and reading about the death of parents, one of the biggest regrets seems to be not knowing them better. I have a cordial but distance relationship from my parents and while I don't ever see us being BFFs, I would like to know them better as people and their life. How do I do this, considering I live 6 states away? [more inside]
posted by lpcxa0 on Mar 26, 2014 - 21 answers

How do I talk to my daughter about pulling her out of ballet classes?

My 4 year old daughter goes to ballet lessons and really likes them. She’s looking forward to a recital in about 8 weeks. Unfortunately, we need to pull her out of classes at her current studio and enroll her some place else. How do my partner and I frame this issue with my daughter so she doesn’t feel terrible? [more inside]
posted by elmer benson on Mar 20, 2014 - 49 answers

Parenting books reco's needed

Looking for recommendations on parenting books dealing with tips, advice, strategies on the following topics for parenting young children (5-10): how to set different behavioral expectations for siblings of different ages (greater expectations for older children, given capacity), responsibility / accountability for ones actions and the effects of ones behavior on other people ( managing belongings, homework, punctuality, behavior management in special situations ie. there are times for wild/exuberant play and fun but the airport or funerals are are not such times) Not interested in any books with a religious or corporal punishment bent. [more inside]
posted by walkinginsunshine on Mar 19, 2014 - 10 answers

Father about to be diagnosed with cancer needs help with life insurance

I'm 49 and my wife is 44. We have two small children 7 and 2 and do not own life insurance. Last Friday, we learned my wife has breast cancer, and the same day found out there is a likelihood I could be diagnosed with bladder cancer in the following weeks. Is there any kind of life insurance which I should quickly try to secure in the short time I have while I am still basically healthy? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 15 answers

The only disability in life is a bad attitude.

Should I disclose my son's ASD and ADHD to other parents when he goes on playdates where we are not present? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 18, 2014 - 27 answers

Young toddler bedtime: doin' it wrong?

Bedtime has always been a production with our now 13 month old, and unfortunately I don't know many parents of similarly-aged kids to calibrate against. Does this routine seem normal/okay to you for this age? Snowflake details inside. [more inside]
posted by annekate on Mar 16, 2014 - 28 answers

Scaredypants!

My soon-to-be 3-year-old daughter is pretty timid, physically. It's nothing crippling or even worrisome, but still…c'mon kid, geez, just jump! You'll be fine! [more inside]
posted by 2or3whiskeysodas on Mar 10, 2014 - 34 answers

Fun experiments with an electronics kit for a 7 year old

I would love some suggestions for science experiments with the Cambridge BrainBox electronics kit. [more inside]
posted by snarfois on Mar 7, 2014 - 7 answers

School recommended the most dreadful book for my kindergartener-to-be.

Last night, I read a book to my four-and-a-half year old. He will go to kindergarten next year, and this book was recommended by the school (email blast to new parents) as something that will "help kids prepare for kindergarten". The book turned out to be wildly age-inappropriate and generally horrible! I feel that I ought to do something about it beside posting a 1-star Amazon review, but I don't know what. [more inside]
posted by rada on Feb 28, 2014 - 41 answers

What to do? Teenager is a Bum.

What do we do about this depressed / unmotivated / lazy kid? Snowflakes inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 28, 2014 - 72 answers

What's more important? Parental presence or top schooling?

Okay, this may well be a false choice but I'm trying to sort this out in my mind -- I see two roads ahead of us, one in which we stay where we are currently living -- an underwater house in good shape in a middling-to-poor neighborhood (but with adjacent nicer amenities) -- which is affordable and where we are making enough money to save for all the things we need to save for (retirement, college, cash savings, etc.). OR, we can buy our way into a nicer neighborhood and school district, keeping this house as a rental. Right now my husband and I are both working at well-paying jobs and our 3-year-old is in full-time daycare. My goal, when she starts kindergarten in 3 years, is to work 3/4 or less time, so that I am home with her after school and do to this for the rest of her school years. [more inside]
posted by amanda on Feb 15, 2014 - 32 answers

Is it rude to bring a baby to a bed & breakfast?

Wifey and I are headed to Hawaii for our first vacation post-pregnancy. We've loved staying at B&B's in the past, but don't want our hosts or other guests to cringe when we show up with our 6-month-old daughter. Be honest: have we outgrown this mode of lodging?? [more inside]
posted by atreyu on Feb 15, 2014 - 13 answers

I can't even get myself to stick to a schedule...

Looking for books on baby care/baby development which don't focus on getting the baby into a routine. [more inside]
posted by Catseye on Feb 14, 2014 - 12 answers

Smart phone for a smart-but-still-naive kid

Our oldest child is about to turn 13 and desperately wants a cell phone and an email address. We see both good and bad in this, but we agree that he's matured a lot in the last year and he's old enough (and mature enough) to start learning how to use and live with these things. That said, we're a bit apprehensive, for all of the obvious reasons. With those things in mind, MeFi parents of tweens and young teens: how are approaching/handling your child's cell phone and email usage? [more inside]
posted by mosk on Feb 14, 2014 - 13 answers

Book Recommendation For Raising a Gifted Child

Looking for specific recommendations for books on raising a gifted child. [more inside]
posted by plinth on Feb 14, 2014 - 9 answers

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