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Help me make the most of the time my mother has left.

My mother has terminal cancer, and I don't know how much time she has left. Others with experience losing a parent: what would I regret not doing with this time? [more inside]
posted by joan cusack the second on Jul 28, 2014 - 27 answers

How do I deal with my alcoholic mom

Hi guys I live in us and my mom in Romania. We talk on the phone quite often- everyday being that I am the only child. But it hurts me so much when I talk to her to know that she drank, or that she is drunk. The way I suspect it is by speech. She is not that fluent, the words come out harder from her mouth. I know her, and I know if she drank just by listening to her speech. Obviously she denies like any addict. This thing kills me because I know it kills her. How do I deal with it? I told her repeatedly that I hate it. I was thinking to stop talking to her. Basically I was thinking that if one night I call and she is drunk then don't call for a week. Hopefully she can link her drinking to me not calling which she freaks out if I don't call. It might not work but at least I keep my sanity because after I see her like that my whole day is ruined.
posted by barexamfreak on Jun 13, 2014 - 10 answers

A question about parenthood from a single, childless guy

I am in my early forties, single and childless. Many of my peers have opted to marry and have babies. I don't see myself joining them any time soon but I'd like to understand them a little better. So what are the aspects of parenthood that single, childless people (men in particular) Just Don't Get? [more inside]
posted by jason's_planet on Jun 1, 2014 - 27 answers

Crazy worry Wart Dad needs advice for kids

Both my young adult children are going to France 1 for school the other just because. I need some advice? [more inside]
posted by mrgroweler on Apr 9, 2014 - 21 answers

Should we seek additional help?

My 8 year old is showing some odd behavior - is this a phase, personality, or something that needs professional attention? [more inside]
posted by H. Roark on Mar 28, 2014 - 24 answers

How to remotely help father with computer.

My Dad often has trouble with the computer that run along the lines of "can't download email attachment" or "doesn't know how to forward email". I need a program that will allow me to access his computer remotely so I can do simple common tasks for him, as he's unable to retain the information even when we go through it step-by-step, over long drawn out phone calls. Being able to see what's on his screen, or to indicate to him where to click would simplify things for both of us greatly. I have used RealVNC before, but only within a home network and don't know how challenging it is to do over the internet. We are both using Windows 7. Thanks.
posted by roshy on Feb 3, 2014 - 18 answers

How to help teen with alcoholic parent

A family friend who is divorced has been an alcoholic for more then several years. She has primary custody of a teenage daughter. We have kept in touch with the alcoholic mom but sporadically due to her behavior. Recently I found out the the daughter was cutting and acting out, I believe due to the stress of living with her mom. Because of this I started texting the daughter just to check in and give her some positive messages (mostly like “hope you have a good day” and “I’m so impressed how you did on that test”). I did ask her if she’d like to go to an alateen meeting which she agreed to but only if I went with her. However we haven’t set a date. [more inside]
posted by lasamana on Jan 21, 2014 - 14 answers

New relationship - advice on meeting her child for the first time?

Never had children of my own - how do I handle meeting a new partner's child for the first time? [more inside]
posted by de void on Dec 3, 2013 - 15 answers

Help me miss my Dad

My Dad died this week after a long illness. I don't feel a thing, except maybe tired. How do I get my feelings back? Are there resources for people like me? [more inside]
posted by SecondSock on Nov 30, 2013 - 36 answers

What's a good gift for a parent and child on the go?

Over the next year, my friend will be doing a lot of air travel with her one-year-old child in tow. What are some useful products that will make the whole airport/airplane process easier for both of them?
posted by Rora on Nov 17, 2013 - 9 answers

My mom put bills in my name. How can I clean up my credit?

First, I understand that no one here is my lawyer. I recently ordered my free credit report for the first time. When I looked at the information, I discovered that my mom had put several utility bills and even credit cards in my name when I was a minor. Because she didn't always pay the bills on time, or at all, my credit is pretty bad. I'm not interested in pursuing criminal charges against my mom, but I do want to get these marks off my credit. What can I do to fix my credit? Who should I contact and what should I say?
posted by Chuck Barris on Oct 24, 2013 - 6 answers

Mediator for estranged parents and adult children in London?

Can anybody recommend a counsellor/ mediator in London, specialising in reconciling estranged parents and adult children? [more inside]
posted by BobsterLobster on Aug 5, 2013 - 7 answers

What, if any, contact should my children have with their absent mother?

My ex-wife suddenly vanished over 2 years ago to her native Asian country, leaving behind a son (then 1, now 3) and daughter (then 6, now 8). Contact was intermittent (sometimes once a week and sometimes every three months). I asked her to commit to a regularly scheduled call and she refused to do so. I also found the phone calls to be borderline abusive to my daughter (the daughter would ask, "Mommy when are you coming back," and the mother would reply, "When are you going to come see me?" which caused the daughter to feel responsible for her absence - or the Skype video chats where the daughter would have the camera on but the mother refused to do so). I have since cut off contact with the mother in order to protect my daughter, though wonder if it is the correct decision. [more inside]
posted by b_thinky on Jul 24, 2013 - 45 answers

Separating Twins into Different Classes at School?

My (boy / girl) twins will be entering kindergarten this September. We've been asked if we want them placed into separate classes, or left together in the same class. Need to give them our answer by Monday and frankly, I'm at a loss and have no idea what I should do. If you are a parent of school-age or older twins, can you please share what you did and why? If you yourself are a twin, how did your parents handle it? How did it work out? Other knowledgeable anecdotes and advice welcome. Links to any online resources I can read on the topic would also be appreciated.
posted by zarq on Jun 22, 2013 - 28 answers

Gift for parent who eloped? Yes, no, maybe?

My 74-year old father just eloped, and I have no idea if I should get a gift for him, and if so, what it should be. More dysfunctional family details inside. [more inside]
posted by sazanka on Jun 3, 2013 - 11 answers

How can my family bar my bipolar father from access to credit?

My bipolar father will go on crazy consumer debt fueled sprees of spending / gambling. What can we do on a severely limited budget to ensure he doesn't end up homeless or otherwise in major trouble? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on May 28, 2013 - 10 answers

We yell at children at this school?

A mother at my son's school yelled at him today. I am furious. I am also very confused about what to do about it. [more inside]
posted by RosiePosie on May 14, 2013 - 37 answers

80 year old MIL talks incessantly

My 80 year old mother- in- law of 30 years talks non-stop about things I am not interested in----- but the people-pleaser in me keeps listening to her politely and I end up feeling exhausted. [more inside]
posted by seekingsimplicity on Mar 5, 2013 - 23 answers

How did you let go and forgive after a loss and a breakup?

Death of a parent and a breakup- how to disentangle the two, get a virtual lobotomy regarding the breakup, and for heavens sake just fucking move on regarding the breakup. [more inside]
posted by xm on Feb 27, 2013 - 20 answers

Insurance Brokers in NYC

Seeking insurance broker recommendations for a new family in NYC. Co-op, Auto, and now with progeny, Life. Obviously want a person/office that we can trust, and will look out for our interests in the long haul. We live in Queens, and work in Manhattan. Bonus question: are any brokers fee-based, or do all work on commission-type arrangements?
posted by Oddly on Feb 26, 2013 - 1 answer

How can I cope with a toxic parent while I work to get free?

What can I do to better cope with the mounting stresses of completely cutting ties with an emotionally abusive Mom? I have severe depression, anxiety and other issues. I'm seeking help, but currently inbetween doctors. When things get stressful, I start to crumble. Suggestions very much appreciated. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Feb 12, 2013 - 9 answers

How do I encourage my dad to get a hearing aid?

I live with my parents. My dad is in his early 70s and he's going deaf. This started a few years ago. Now, he often isn't aware that my mother or I are speaking at all unless he's looking right us, and even when he is, it's clear that he's only pretending to hear a lot of the time. [more inside]
posted by srs airbag on Feb 7, 2013 - 16 answers

Genuine shared experience ideas for dissimilar mom and daughter?

Please help me think of a shared experience my mother and I can have to celebrate her 60th birthday that does not include a spa or salon. I'd like to leave the parameters mostly open, but my budget is somewhere around $150 - $200. [more inside]
posted by smirkyfodder on Jan 31, 2013 - 28 answers

Mom's cancer took a turn for the worse, not sure what I can do to help.

My mom has been battling colon cancer for the last 6 1/2 years, and essentially my whole family had settled into the rhythm of her treatment, and I know exactly what I could do to help, but recently her condition took a sharp downward turn, and I feel as if I'd been blindsided without any idea what I can do now. [more inside]
posted by Geektox on Jan 30, 2013 - 19 answers

Resources for dealing with your widowed parents starting to date?

My recently-widowed father seems to have started dating. What are some resources to deal with the emotions I'm going through and the ones that will no doubt come up later? [more inside]
posted by nursegracer on Jan 28, 2013 - 14 answers

Not playing in Peoria

I have to go to Peoria, IL for a week starting February 6 to tend to the affairs of my mother, whose dementia is getting worse. I grew up there but I haven't been back for years, and when I did go back I stayed at Mom's. Now there is no room at Mom's because she's in assisted care. Where should I stay? [more inside]
posted by caryatid on Jan 22, 2013 - 11 answers

Guess what normal is: household income edition

Were you in a single-income doctor's family in the US during the 1990s? Help me reconstruct what lifestyle and education my siblings and I might have enjoyed if my mother hadn't been a pathologically miserly narcissist. Many, many details inside. [more inside]
posted by stuck on an island on Jan 19, 2013 - 88 answers

How do I get over my narcissistic parent?

My mother is a narcissist and I need help getting over her; please read? [more inside]
posted by inaisa on Jan 17, 2013 - 24 answers

What Do You Give New Parents?

Parents of Metafilter: What the best gift you can give new parents? Everyone has suggestions for the baby but what about the parents? What are the things you wished you had/realized you couldn't live without when dealing with your first kid? How could someone have made your life easier despite being on the other side of the planet? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Dec 24, 2012 - 23 answers

How to navigate end-of-life communications between estranged family members?

Elderly mom is ill. If it looks like she's not going to make it should I tell her estranged daughter (my semi-estranged sister) despite the risk of an ugly scene ensuing? [more inside]
posted by under_petticoat_rule on Dec 7, 2012 - 32 answers

How can I get over feeling like I'm not good enough?

Due to my dad, I feel like I am stupid and can't do anything right. How can I rebuild my self-confidence? [more inside]
posted by stedman15 on Dec 4, 2012 - 16 answers

My dad moved on. I seem to be stuck.

I'm struggling with my dad moving on after my mother's death. Looking for advice or books to help me accept what's happening. [more inside]
posted by cecic on Nov 28, 2012 - 21 answers

Need to find someone in NYC to help look after my Parkinsons-having dad.

I'll try to stick to specifically relevant snowflake stuff here. So, my father is 78 and has Parkinson's, which is compounded by long-standing blood pressure issues that leaves him prone to falling unexpectedly (moreso than a typical Parkinsons patient). He lives in a big loft in the East Village (NYC) that he's lived in for forty years, and has no designs on leaving. [more inside]
posted by softlord on Nov 12, 2012 - 10 answers

How Can I Self-Learn into a Freelance Career?

In a roundabout and hair-pulling sort of way, I find myself a historic preservation grad school drop out (yes, thank you, I dropped out) and with family logistics, pretty much need to stay home with our child full-time. What sort of skills can I develop on my own time that may lead to a well-paying freelance/at-home career? I have a degree in art history, and a very varied work past that included lots of food service and administrative assistant positions. I've applied to many of the higher paying jobs around town to justify spending hundreds on childcare, but to no avail. Personally, I would rather stay home with my child. [more inside]
posted by ohmansocute on Nov 8, 2012 - 9 answers

Helping a child cope with an absent parent

Daughter's father no longer in our lives, unexpectedly, after some sad times. Daughter (5) now a stressed little kid. Therapy coming up, but… ? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Nov 3, 2012 - 12 answers

Seeking Justice, Pro Se

YANYL: how do I ask for attorney's fees on a motion that was involuntarily withdrawn? [more inside]
posted by doomtop on Oct 15, 2012 - 3 answers

Adopting a baby. We want to. Who should we work with?

Adopting a baby. We want to. Who should we work with? [more inside]
posted by fugitivefromchaingang on Sep 24, 2012 - 4 answers

What was on your baby registry that you use and what was on it that you don't use?

I'm building a baby registry. a) What was your absolute most-used, wouldn't-survive-without-it thing you had on your baby registry? b) And what were you absolutely certain you'd use all the time that just gathered dust? [more inside]
posted by davebug on Sep 18, 2012 - 67 answers

What was surprisingly easy/hard about having a kid?

A 2-parter for parents (from a soon-to-be): 1) What did you think was going to be easy, but turned out to be hard? 2) What did you think was going to be hard, but turned out to be easy? [more inside]
posted by davebug on Sep 4, 2012 - 42 answers

Female doctor recommendations for 60 yr. old woman in East Bay, CA with a host of neglected medical issues.

Female doctor recommendations for 60 yr. old woman in East Bay, CA with a host of neglected medical issues. [more inside]
posted by thenewbrunette on Aug 28, 2012 - 8 answers

Waiting, waiting, waiting....

My mother is going to die, probably very soon. How do I deal with waiting for it to happen? [more inside]
posted by heurtebise on Aug 27, 2012 - 28 answers

Just Say Yes or No!

What's the best way to ask people to do what they say they will do and to answer emails? [more inside]
posted by Fairchild on Aug 14, 2012 - 37 answers

How do I be a great SAHM for my baby?

Can you give me your best tips, tricks, and general guidance for being a stay-at-home mom of an older baby? As of next week I will be caring for our 8 month old by myself full time, and I'm scared! [more inside]
posted by crabintheocean on Aug 1, 2012 - 14 answers

How long is too long to use major life trauma as an excuse?

How long is too long to use major life trauma as an excuse for everything in my life falling apart? [more inside]
posted by Cat Pie Hurts on Aug 1, 2012 - 39 answers

Help me help pass a bill from afar!

Woah! A state senate bill, coming up for a vote next week in a state other than mine, would set a unique precedent that's extremely important for my family. Tell me everything I can do to help this bill from afar. [more inside]
posted by kalapierson on Jul 3, 2012 - 12 answers

My Terrible Mistake to Attend Graduate School

Should I leave my graduate school? Is it even worth it to get a master's degree? Long story inside. [more inside]
posted by ohmansocute on Jul 3, 2012 - 18 answers

Looking for post-divorce Pro Se resources.

Looking for post-divorce Pro Se resources. [more inside]
posted by doomtop on Jul 3, 2012 - 9 answers

How do I best support my father through a tough breakup?

How can I support my father through what's likely to be a really painful breakup? What support do you wish you had, or were you grateful to have, from your adult children while going through divorce? [more inside]
posted by yomimono on Jun 25, 2012 - 6 answers

Ailing Father, Neglectful Stepmother, & a Confused Daughter

How do I address my father's illness, marital problems, and general malaise as a child who has long ago flown the coop and has no solid plans to return to her hometown? [more inside]
posted by afabulousbeing on Jun 16, 2012 - 12 answers

Surfer mom

What's a good place/way to set up a website for a parent? [more inside]
posted by bjrn on May 18, 2012 - 12 answers

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