I’ve realized that over the course of the last several years, I’ve developed a fear of emotionally reaching out to people. I’m writing now because of a very recent breakup. All of the breakup AskMes have been read, and armed with those as well as past breakups, I think I know how to do breakup recovery right. However, one thing I’m having a hard time with is asking for a sympathetic ear. Lots o' detail below. [more inside]
After being diagnosed with bipolar II, my partner and I accidentally built my coping strategies around my total emotional reliance on him. Now that I have my career on track and have moved into what was to be "our home," I feel my stability at risk as it truly sinks in that he is exiting the relationship, but wants to remain as friends and a support system. How can I process this grief without compromising my stability? [more inside]
You want to take a weekend off...where should you go? [more inside]
"Over the meadow and through the woods to grandmother's house we don't go". We're taking Thanksgiving on the road this year--perhaps a little more thankful of family if we get away from them for a while! Renting a house w/Mrs. Moth and two teenage Moth-ettes near Eureka Springs, Arkansas. We need ideas, efficiencies and even recipes for making the best possible Thanksgiving Dinner with the least fuss as well as any hints about what to do in the local area, how most memorably to spend our time together, etc. This is probably a once-in-a-lifetime in-law-less holiday for us all... [more inside]
Is there any research, discussions or statistics that link burnt out car bulbs to police stops, and then to either police shootings or anything related violent interactions between arrestees and police?
He now drinks every day without fail --when we first met, he only drank every once in awhile but it was something he did to relax. Now in my perspective, it's gotten out of control because we decided to move into a new place where we both are on the lease. All conversations have ended in a screaming match and him telling me I no longer have any power because we share a lease. I don't know if I can continue on like this, what do I do? [more inside]
I currently work for a mental health insurance company as an administrative assistant for the past 10 months. I have unfortunately found out that working in a cubicle for 8 hours a day is not optimal for me. [more inside]
I got a quote to remodel part of my house a few days ago. I signed a handwritten contract in my home. I just got a MUCH lower bid on it. Can I back out of the first contract? [more inside]
How do I respond, if at all, to an out-of-the-blue message from the wife of my husband's ex-friend, telling me: "It's sad that our husbands don't talk anymore. I know [my husband] misses your husband." [more inside]
I am working in data science (genetics) and am looking for a small but powerful laptop, here is what I have found, is there a "perfect" option out there? Thanks! Everyone loves the new 13" Dell XPS 13, but I need more than 8gb ram. The 12.5" Thinkpad x250 (a similar small laptop from Lenovo) has 16 gb, but the Intel HD 5500 could be better. The Alienware 13 sounds incredible, but just a little too big for just the inclusion of a dedicated graphics card.
I have never been in good shape from a cardio-vascular perspective but something is getting much worse for me now. I am roughly fifty pounds overweight and when I go to exercise I find that I can't make it for very long whether that be jogging, using the elliptical, or biking. [more inside]
Quit Facebook. No regrets. Except now I'm locked out of a number of websites I joined by clicking that "sign up with Facebook" button. How do I get in to these sites without reactivating my FB account? [more inside]
We got the keys to our new house! Specifically: We got around ten keys. Mostly not super-well labeled. The place we are moving into is currently divided into three separate apartment units. Last night we spent about an hour futzing with various keys. We were able to get into two of the three apartments. But we were unable to find a key that could open the door to the third one. [more inside]
attention nyc mefi - i am looking for recommendations for a place to meet up with work folks in brooklyn, but to fit our particular needs. [more inside]
Not sure how to say this, but I think that I am procrastinating on things even when I seem to be busy doing other things. I need to get to a point in my life where I am taking consistent action rather than thinking about doing things. [more inside]
There are two parts to this: I am locked out of hotmail; my computer can't read the support e-mail security instructions due to computer security. [more inside]
Is there an official rule in amateur softball about when an umpire can reverse a call? We had a single umpire at a youth game who made a "safe" call at first, then was told by a coach that the catcher was hit by the bat. The umpire reversed the call and called the batter out at first. When asked the umpire said heard the bat hit something but wouldn't say he saw it. Is there a rule in this circumstance as to whether an umpire can 1) make a call on a play he did not see; or 2) reverse a call on a play he did not see? I can only find answers for multiple umpires at a game, not for a solo umpire.
Could a specialist on the other side of the country still be considered in-network? [more inside]
In a situation where I'm meeting up with people whom I'm potentially getting to know, how do I know if I'm getting the brush off? [more inside]
My 19 yr old son has decided to drop out of college after this semester to find himself. The problem is he is without a plan and I believe very depressed. He has been to a therapist in the past and has an appt to see the therapist next week. In the meantime he has called us sometimes crying and saying he doesn’t understand why he is in college. snowflake inside [more inside]
I'm a 30 year old living in the Cleveland area looking to get out of a dead end job, and would appreciate some good resources or advice on how to find something new. Details inside. [more inside]
My wonderful nephew is thinking about coming out, but the rest of the family is very religious & conservative. How can I help? Avalanche inside. [more inside]
My PC has about 1.5TB of HD memory, and about 75% of it is free. And 2GB more of RAM was recently installed, increasing total RAM to about 6GB. But I am discovering that has little effect on why a program would display an out of memory message. I access the program, which is a website builder, from my desktop. Each time the program crashes, I find changes to work most recently done. And now, I am afraid to continue working on one of the saved versions because of the possibility of more crashes. I tried the Microsoft Fix It for OOM errors, but it didn't seem to help. And I've been exchanging messages with Serif, but the answers haven't been as helpful as I've hoped. Why is this happening and what, if anything, can I do to find out what is stealing the memory and stop it?
I'm lesbian. My tennis instructor hits on me. I really respect him/think he's a cool guy/want us to be friends. What do I do? [more inside]
Was I sexually violated? I keep obsessing about this, I don't know if the other parties care or have declared me a pariah [more inside]
My brother and I are searching for a loved childhood book. He found it on a rare book website, paid for a copy, and never heard from the seller again. We're more interested in finding the book than tracking down the bum. The problem is, we've forgotten the author, and are uncertain about the actual title. It's about a boy who wants a dog, and goes to sleep (I think the night before his birthday) and has a hallucinogenic dream about a giant dog and stairways to the sky and a giant door with an inscription on it. When he wakes up, there is a real puppy waiting for him, I think as his birthday present. I remember the cover was green. It was an oversize picture book. I think the title was "The Wishing Tree" but I can't find the book under that title anywhere. I read it in the mid-60's. Thank you for your help!
I got a book published a couple of years ago. I love being able to give copies to people once in a a while. I expect I'd like to be able to keep doing this for many years to come. Thus far, I just order new books as I need them. But is it likely that at some point it'll no longer be possible to order more copies? Should I be stocking up on the book? How to other authors out there handle this? I'd rather not have to keep a million copies around if I can avoid it (it's a small place I've got) but I'd hate to find, that, say, in ten years, I'm out of copies to give away, and no more can be had anywhere...
We're about to kick out our 5th bandmate (for legitimate reasons: skill is low, ear is bad, attitude is defensive and lazy), who also happens to be one of my best friends. I want to make sure we do it in the most compassionate, generous way possible. What are some things to do -- and to avoid doing -- when we finally sit down with him? [more inside]
Should I move out of my parents' house or wait until I've saved up? [more inside]
Considering dropping out of 1st year humanities PhD program. Terrified of starving on the streets. Help? [more inside]
Damn you facebook. An acquaintance (at best) posted on facebook that he is glad Jimi, Curt, Hank, etc died young because they would have at some point started being old/fat/lazy/sell out, etc (Fade Away). I want to throw out a few names of people who not only kept making good music but who had a critically better musical period later in life.
What should I know before I camp out at the Supreme Court to try to see the oral arguments in the marriage cases in late March? What should I pack? How is the line policed? [more inside]
If you mutually agree to raincheck who should ask who to do something next time? [more inside]
What items (gadgets) should I have on hand for power outages? [more inside]
Can I eat these fishcakes? [more inside]
I need to replace the entry door to the garage soon, but with an extremely tight budget, limited time, an angry mother, and an asshole older brother. Help! Details inside. [more inside]
Moving out but not breaking up? [more inside]
Should I leave my graduate school? Is it even worth it to get a master's degree? Long story inside. [more inside]
Not sure if I'm comfortable living with roommates. Am I being irrational? [more inside]
Should I do more work projects for my wife using my special skills, even though I despise the project? [more inside]
Moving out of my apartment and I have a few questions on how to handle the last month of rent and the security deposit. [more inside]
I recently came across the phrase "tricked out"--used just the way we use it today--in a book from the late 1800s. I was so shocked that I searched Project Gutenberg and found it used all over the place. What's the deal? And what are some other current-sounding phrases that go back further than you would think--used the way we use them today?
Help me decide whether, and how, to man up with a shy friend I like-like with a significant age gap. Cue the snowflakes. [more inside]
I'm 22, 6'3" and about 270 lbs. I have been steadily gaining weight over college (which I'm starting my senior year next semester) and really haven't had much time to devote to fitness and weight loss. I know diet & exercise are key. I want to drop down to at most 250 in weight. I've started to have lots of back pain, mostly I think due to being overweight. [more inside]
Cardio? Yoga? strength-training? Help set me straight. [more inside]
What's a good way to give a class full of people the opportunity to share email addresses? [more inside]
How do tell my advisor that I am dropping out of grad school and finding a job? [more inside]
How to move out of parents house when your attending college with no money or job? I don't have clear goal in what I want to do. [more inside]
I'm a girl. You're a guy. We're making out, but we won't be doing anything past that tonight. How do I let you know that so you don't feel like I'm leading you on? Or do I let you know at all? [more inside]
I am currently Traveling in Indonesia and cannot connect to either Facebook or twitter. I am on a mac which is returning a timeout for the server. i am connected via a cable modem through an ethernet cable. Two other computers - one a mac and one a PC are able to connect to my account via this same cable. I am able to connect to other internet sites with my mac and am also able to connect to facebook and twitter via the aformentioned guest computers. Can you help me Hive?