So, I'm a straight cis woman with two teenage kids, and I found myself unexpectedly single last spring. I'd been married for nineteen years, which means that I've had no experience at all with online dating. I'm 45, which feels incredibly old for putting myself out there. But (a) pretty much everyone single seems to date online, and (b) despite having a reasonably active social life with friends, I pretty much don't meet any single, roughly appropriate, men in real life, so online dating it is. So far, it's been going not traumatically badly, but not satisfyingly either. [more inside]
It's been about six months since I got out of my last relationship and I would like to very tentatively start dipping my toes in the dating pool again. The last time I did online dating was nearly a decade ago. What has changed? What do I need to know now? Best practices? [more inside]
I realize that this is the ultimate in, well, problems-that-aren't-really-problems, but I get WAY too many messages on OKC. Help me figure out how not to get bogged down? [more inside]
I decided to try Bumble, but I wasn't sure whether it would be posting things to my Facebook, or drawing unwanted information into my dating profile. So I created a fake facebook with a fake name to try it out. Now I can't undo that. Use fake FB profile or undo it somehow? [more inside]
I like to talk, discuss, debate, make puns, be intentionally clever, gesticulate extensively, and so on. That doesn't mean that I only want to date women who are the same way, but those are the only women I get on with. How do I expand my horizons? [more inside]
I've decided to commit more fully to online dating, and since I am I might as well do a good job of it. Take a look, what can I improve? Link is currently my "homepage" on my mefi profile. [more inside]
I'd like to pay to have a few pictures of myself taken for online dating. I'm in SF. Where can I find someone to do this for relatively cheap? [more inside]
I want to find someone to cuddle with on a somewhat regular basis. I’m a straight-isn woman in my late 20’s. What’s the best way to go about this? [more inside]
I made an OKCupid profile to find NSA sex partners, but I'm having trouble thinking what to write in it. (I'm a man looking for women partners.) I have another profile I use for actual dating that has lots of info about me, but talking about my favorite reads, life aspirations or whatever doesn't seem relevant for this purpose. Say you're a woman browsing OKC for sex partners, what do you actually want to know about the person? And conversely, what kind of things would be off-putting or a turnoff?
I've been finding dating online frustrating. Everyone finds dating online frustrating. However - for me (as a guy contacting women), I seem to be doing especially badly at writing initial messages that lead to women responding, or even viewing my profile. What are those supposed to look like, anyway? [more inside]
I'd like to hire a photographer to take some casual pictures of me to use online, and I have some questions about that. [more inside]
Hello everyone, I've been dating this 23 yo grad school student that I met online for the past 6 weeks. We've been going out once a week (6 dates total). We've kissed but haven't been intimate yet. The dates have been fun and we both seem to enjoy each other's company. The only problem is that we barely communicate in between dates. He would only text me to make plan for the date and sometimes we would go for 3-4 days without talking to each other. [more inside]
A guy I started talking to on a dating website texts me continually after I leave work in the evenings, and now wants to talk on the phone before our first date. He's been SUPER nice and he's clearly psyched. But I feel suffocated, and our first date isn't even for another 3 days. [more inside]
No, seriously, why am I having zero luck? I ended a long-term relationship in June. I'm still getting over it, but I want to get back on that damn horse. I moved to NYC for grad school in August, and I have had zero (literally, 0) luck with men since the breakup. [more inside]
Is dating in your 30s more difficult than in your 20s? [more inside]
I'm currently in a weird predicament. I recently started talking to 3 guys off of a dating app (not Tinder) at around the same time. They all asked me out for a first date. Through our exchanges, I notice that all 3 go to the same school together and happen to be in the same group of friends. I even saw a few photos of them together. All 3 have asked me to go on coffee or dinner date with them. I don't know what I should do because I haven't met any in personso I don't know them yet to write anyone off. At the same time, I don't want to be labeled as a serial dater if I agree to go out with all 3 of them. I'm afraid of the awkwardness when they later find out. What do you think I should do? Their ages range from 22-27 by the way.
Recently I've gone on several dates where we got along really well online and talked for hours in person. However, they ended with a hug and silence afterward, which I'm disappointed about. How can I figure out if we both want to go past one-shot platonic meetings, and how do we get to where we want to go? [more inside]
Seeking online dating advice! [more inside]
How do you date while being a feminist? I was thinking about trying online dating again. Then I read the amazing emotional labor thread on the blue, which made me question that. Are there tips and tricks for finding a male partner who is willing to do emotional labor? [more inside]
Hey guys! I just re-joined OKCupid a month ago and haven't received many messages. It's nerve-wracking to post my profile here, but who knows: maybe you can help! [more inside]
This guy I met online has been texting me for the past few days and we sometimes would text back and forth for several hours but we haven't talked on the phone yet. Two days ago, we decided to meet up at the park but ended up cancelling it because of bad weather. We rescheduled the date to another day. Since then, I noticed him stop initiating convo with me and ignoring some of my texts unless I ask him a question. I'm confused as to whether or not he's still interested in me or if he's trying to take a break until the date? Has anyone been through this before? [more inside]
While dating online I am planning on meeting a man tomorrow for a first date. He proposes his city. At the same time I am trying actively to progress in making better choices in men, being assertive, trusting my gut, realistically doubting myself, and am afraid of being too negative ("cutting off my head because of a toothache", or an English equivalent). [more inside]
I went out with a guy from OKCupid who seemed awkward but raised no huge red flags. Less than a week later, he got weird and I'm no longer interested. Do I need to tell him this? [more inside]
I'm 23 years old and I have had limited experience with dating in person. I'm pretty busy with school that it keeps me from meeting people I like. Therefore, I've considered doing online dating but I'm a little concerned about catfish and people who just want to hookups. For those of you who have experience with online dating, does online dating have a good pool of people who look for a serious relationship? If so, are paid sites like eHarmony or match.com better than free sites such as OKCupid? Thank you for your response!
Is it silly not to date multiple people at a time? [more inside]
I probably should have done some research first but I signed up for match.com and OkCupid and am now kind of overwhelmed with contact. (This is not a request for a profile critique!) [more inside]
Of all the men I meet on OK Cupid, I choose to like one 11,000 km away. How do I get over him? [more inside]
I'm not looking for advice about my OKC Profile so much as I want to get your impression of what it's saying. [more inside]
I met someone from an online dating site, we didn't have much to talk about, but had fantastic sex. What's the right way to say "I'm not interested in pursuing this?" [more inside]
I've noticed in my travels on OK Cupid that there seem to be a few code words in play on the site --- for example, mentioning the movie Secretary in the movies/books section seems to pretty consistently be a gentle hint that the person is either into BDSM themselves or at least kink friendly. It made me wonder what other key words may be out there that I'm missing out on, in case I've put them in my profile or see them in others'. What is the modern handkerchief code?
I had a date with someone I met online. I liked him. But I don't think my interest is reciprocal. [more inside]
I know the topic of OKCupid profile critiques is polarizing. Those who enjoy picking apart profiles and judging photos, please bring your honesty and step on up. [more inside]
So far my response rate seems pretty low compared to I've heard is typical. Is there anything in my profile that might be the cause? [more inside]
This terrifies me a little bit...but I was wondering if you lovely people could take a look at my profile and let me know what you think of it. See anything I should improve? (I'm a woman looking to date women.) [more inside]
I'm 30, male, British. Over the last few weeks I've felt the clouds of my latest depression begin to part and some sunlight poke through. I'm contemplating trying online dating again. How can I take advantage of this improvement whilst being careful not to over-tax myself and do an emotional crash-and-burn? [more inside]
I'm a guy in his thirties who has never been in a romantic relationship. I've been dating through OKCupid for a while, without too much success, and I think one of the reasons is that I just don't have a model of how you go from "first date" to "exclusive relationship involving emotional commitment". Hollywood love stories are no help, and I have no real-life experience, even at second hand, of how this tends to happen. I think it would help me to read some concrete descriptions of various paths this transition can take. [more inside]
I'm still hurting form a recent break up. Would a foray back into the world of online dating help me get over it and move on? [more inside]
I'm back on OKCupid after some time spent getting my head on straight (well, bi I guess). I'd like some third party advice on my profile. Friends are ok, but they're too nice to be really helpful. [more inside]
I'm 22 years old. I have never had a boyfriend and have never been on a date. Currently I'm finishing up my undergrad and will be entering a Master program in the Fall. I think I'm fairly attractive and I do not have a super high standard. At my college, I do socialize and have a lot of friends but for some reasons, I don't know many guys and the ones I know are either already in a relationship or just not interested in me. I've thought about online dating but I don't know if I'm too young for it, if my inexperience would put me in dangerous situations, etc. I've thought about joining paid sites such as match.com or eharmony.com because I thought maybe guys are more serious on those sites. However, I am still a student and my budget is limited. I'd greatly appreciate any advice anyone has for me.
I haven't had a boyfriend since I was 16 years old. I've complained about that here, there, everywhere. I truly want to change that, or at least go on meaningful, fun dates. You've critiqued my OKC profile (I thank you for this! It's improved the messages I've received.) Now I'd like you to tell me why no one will respond to me. [more inside]
Loads of "hooks", as received wisdom says is the right thing to do - but does it make me sound undateably wilfully eccentric? Profile here. Any and all feedback welcome, whether it's related to my suspected issues with the profile or not. [more inside]
I'm a bisexual woman in my 20s, and I started online dating in January. I moved to a new country so I am totally content with meeting new people and learning more about the city through them. I also really enjoy just talking to new people in general without any expectations, but I wonder if can do something better so I can actually have something romantic? [more inside]
I met someone online. Had a great date with him, but ultimately decided not to pursue things with him. So why can't I get him out of my head? And should I try again with him? [more inside]
How do I avoid shop talk on dates? [more inside]
Last year I ended a 15-year marriage (my only serious relationship ever) and am trying to slowly ease my way back into dating. The marriage was falling to pieces for awhile, and my ex and I are fine friends and co-parents, but probably never should have married. There's no drama and my head is on straight, pretty much. I am a female, early 40s, with children. A couple of weeks ago I put up a profile on OKC, and soon after, what I had previously imagined as The Doomsday Scenario happened. I was contacted by a dad I know through the neighborhood and my kids. It gets more complicated.... [more inside]
First date excitement, late-night texting, boundary-pushing, and empty promises of a second date. Drama ensues, all in the span of a few weeks. Did I bring this on myself, was this guy bad news, and how do I tell the difference in the future? [more inside]
How should I interpret this man's behaviour? I met a guy on OkCupid. I'm confused by his behaviour and would appreciate some, any, insights from the Hive Mind. [more inside]
Are there any other thriving sites out there, like craiglist, where you can post one-off personal ads? Dating, casual encounters, whatever--I'm looking for sites that *don't* have a single static profile (e.g. match, okcupid), but instead you post something, and it ages over time, and then you can post something else after a while.
After taking a break from the dating scene I'm ready to make some serious attempts to find the right match. I need some help refining my "about" description so that it accurately conveys my personality but also makes it clear that I am looking for a serious relationship and not something casual. Any input you have to offer would be very much appreciated. :) [more inside]