Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with NHS

Dealing with stress?

ArkhanJG — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 12:01:38 -0800

If you give me a checklist of signs of serious stress or depression, I can check off pretty much all of them. Constant anxiety, panic attacks, flares of irritation at trivial things, headaches, feeling the overwhelming urge to break down and cry or just snap and yell at someone, exhaustion, lack of sleep, inability to enjoy my time off and alas heavy loss of libido. How do I cope when I can't escape what's causing me stress? I have a loving wife (who's still putting up with my unreasonableness!), a reasonable size flat and enough money to get by on, and I get on pretty well with my and her family. I want to try and improve my moods for my wife as much as myself, as I'm surely not much of a fun guy to be round right now.

The problem is work. Without boring you with too much detail, I’m a sysadmin at an English boarding school, and have been in this job for 8 years now. There’s just me and one other guy on helpdesk for 1200 users, 500 computers, numerous student/staff laptops and some 70 odd (virtual) servers. We design, run and support it all, from the printers to the network to the email to the AD to the SAN. The network has kept growing and growing along the demands on the system (new software, more laptops, more wireless, more labs etc). And they also expect perfect reliability from email, internet access, fileserver etc. We’ve pleaded, begged, told management point blank that we need more manpower to keep it running or it will fall over. Nothing changes, if anything it just gets worse. My direct boss is very supportive, and fights our corner, but there’s only so much he can do to help us.

We’ve coped by stretching ourselves thinner and thinner; first was routine maintenance, then it was upgrades, and now I’m juggling 5 different super-critical jobs that all have to be done before anything else, and working 14 hour days (instead of the 9 I’m paid for) to not even stand still. The network is starting to fail, and I’m running out of redundant systems to take up the slack – we had a large surge last week which knocked out several core switches, and we’ve been desperately trying to keep everything running. And of course, everyone blames us when it breaks. And if I do get hit by a bus, their entire network is screwed, as I’m the only one who knows how it really works, as the documentation is limited. It's no way to run a proper network.

So why not just leave? Well, nobody is hiring down here for a start. And if they were, I’d need to move from my current rural area to an urban area, and I’m just about underwater on the flat I bought 3 years ago. And while we have a little money saved up, it’s not enough for me just to blow off work and go on sabbatical. Nor do I have any holiday left, we used most of it on the wedding and honeymoon.
So I’m at my wits end. I’m living day to day, doing my best not to blow a gasket at the next user request which is completely insane (I know you’ve really really busy, so you don’t need to come over today, first thing tomorrow to fix this 16-hours-needed problem will be fine, but it *is* urgent) or have a nervous breakdown. And I don’t know what to do anymore. Even my weekends, I end up thinking about work, I just can’t escape it, or stop worrying about it.
I do very little exercise as I have neither time nor energy, and while I lost 30 pounds before the wedding, I'm steadily putting it back on.

So I have 5 questions, if there’s anyone still reading:

1) How on earth do you cope with high-levels of stress that go on for years without just one day having a nervous breakdown?
2) If therapy is your answer to 1, where do I go, how do I get it in the UK, and how much does it cost (NHS?) – bearing in mind that I’m not broke, but not far off it.
3) How do I manage expectations of senior management that when you try and have 2 guys do the workload of 6, eventually they stop being able to do miracles?
4) How do I politely tell staff – so that they understand - that when I say we’re really really busy, that means *they’re* going to have to wait for their problem fix too, and yes, that does actually mean them personally and not just everybody else, no matter how urgent that their personal printer is out of toner is.
5) How do I stop caring? I take my job seriously, and criticisms of my system personally. If it's failed, so have I. And that stresses me out.

Thank you. (not posting anon as it'd be no great surprise to anyone that knows me that I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown)

Should I just stick with NHS?

vacapinta — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 22:01:03 -0800

UKFilter (again): What are the advantages of private medical insurance over just relying on NHS? I'm an American moving to London being offered private medical insurance. What are the advantages? Things to look for in a private medical plan? Any guidance/links appreciated.

eating disorder?

cilantro — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:21:39 -0800

I think I have an eating disorder, and I am not sure what to do next... Basically, I am obsessed with food. I've always enjoyed cooking, reading and learning about food, and eating of course, but now I think that a former drinking problem has kind of transferred itself into an obsession with food and chronic overeating.

I was never a full blown alcoholic, but I kind of lived for the next social occasion where I could drink and I never really knew when to stop. Increasingly vicious hangovers (and graduating from university) curbed the drinking, but now I am teetering on the edge of clinical obesity and I think I need help. I am constantly thinking about my next meal, whether I am hungry or not, and I anxiously worry that the meal won't live up to my expectations. When I do eat, I always empty my plate no matter how large the portion, and if I am at home I will often snack immediately after a meal.My husband actually commented on it the other day for the first time and I was so embarrassed I started crying. The other day I was out with workmates and everyone was drinking and having fun and no one seemed particularly interested in organizing the three-block walk to the restaurant where we had reservations, and as the time of the reservation got closer I was so irritated and nervous that I just went home (picking up a large takeaway on the way, of course).

I know that a lot of this is based on my loneliness and alienation - I emigrated to the UK from the US last year to be with my husband, and I still feel lonely and out-of-place. I have never been to any kind of therapy, and I can't find much info about whatever eating disorder I might have (bingeing without purging, and general anxiety about food in general). I'll be seeking therapy through the NHS, so any advice about that will be appreciated as well.

How can I find a therapist?

Anonymous — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 20:28:48 -0800

I've recently decided that I need a therapist/counsellor. How do I go about finding one? I'm in the UK. I've recently had some quite severe depressive episodes, which have led me to seeing my GP. He didn't take me seriously, and prescribed me St Johns Wort. So, I can't go back to him and ask for a referral, and I'm not sure I'd want to be dealing with someone that he did refer me to. So, my questions are:

A] How do I go about finding a therapist? I'm quite prepared to pay privately, and I'd probably prefer it. Cost is not a problem, as long as they can help me fix myself.
B] I have great difficulty feeling emotions that I perceive to be negative (anger, ambition, hatred, resentment, etc), until they burst out of me, which obviously isn't good. What kind of therapy might be useful for me? I realise that you are not my therapist, etc. :)
C] I'm in Dudley, West Midlands. Any personal recommendations would be great.

My email is findingalocaltherapist@googlemail.com. My thanks go to anyone who helps.

My NHS pdoc is evil. Can I get a new one?

happyturtle — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 06:07:55 -0800

NHS filter: I just had a horrible experience with an NHS psychiatrist consultant. Can I get a different doctor? I'm in the UK and I have depression. I've been on SSRI's for years, and occasionally they stop working and have to be replaced with a different pill. My GP referred me to the mental health clinic and I had the appointment today. I was insulted to the point that I've been in tears for two hours. All of the stereotypes that are held about depression were trotted out: 'You shouldn't count on a pill to fix you.' 'Why aren't you doing anything to change your situation?' 'Anti-depressants don't just stop working.' 'You shouldn't just go to bed in the evenings--you need to do something productive.'

She finally agreed to change my medication, but gave me a very low dose of a tricyclic with no plans to see me again until January. I suspect that she's using this as a placebo rather than because she thinks it will do anything, because it seems that despite being a psychiatrist, she doesn't believe in medicating depression.

Is it possible to see a different specialist on the NHS or am I stuck with this horrible woman?

Help This American Student Navigate the NHS

awesomebrad — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 22:39:20 -0800

NHSFilter: I'm going to be studying in the UK for a year, and I have some questions about my coverage under the NHS. I'm going to be entering the UK in September for a year-long course of study; I know that because I'm on a student visa and will be in the UK for more than six months, I'm entitled to NHS coverage. I do, however, have some questions.

I've taken several prescription medications to help control acne for the past two years. I know that the general charge for prescriptions is £6.85, and also that there is a list of medications which are not covered. I cannot, however, find this list, and as controlling acne isn't exactly essential to my survival, I need to know whether I'll be able to procure my medications in the UK under the NHS scheme (I don't need to worry about finding a GP to register with, as my school provides one). The medications I use are: Doryx (which is a slightly modified form of doxycycline), Nicomide (nicotinamide/niacinamide prescription vitamin), Retin-a micro, and Brevoxyl 4% creamy wash.

Additionally, I've just had a minor surgical procedure performed, and although it has gone well, it will require follow-up extending into the first part of my stay in the UK (just checks to make sure there's no recurrence). I noticed that the student coverage doesn't cover pre-existing conditions, will this be an issue? And the follow-up should preferably be performed by a specialist: will I/how will I need to go about getting a referral?

I've tried to include everything I can think of, but if you can see any issues here that could crop up and I haven't specifically asked about, I would appreciate it if you could let me know.

Thanks in advance, everyone!

What's the NHS smoking cessation program like, and how can I prepare for my first meeting?

handee — Thu, 24 May 2007 01:14:04 -0800

I'm going to see the smoking cessation nurse at my local GPs surgery next week (UK). I have a 2 part question about this. Firstly, I'm interested in trying Zyban as an acquaintance said it was really good for them - is this easy to get on the NHS? And secondly, what's the smoking cessation program actually like and is there anything I can do to prepare now (for example, keeping a smoking diary or similar)? I'm fed up with my frequent unsuccessful solo quits and am really serious about making this one stick, so want to go prepared.

Paying twice for the same thing...

prentiz — Wed, 02 May 2007 04:08:36 -0800

Private Health in the UK: Is it worth it and how can I get the cost down? I want to have some metalwork taken out of my leg, because it hurts a bit, but primarily because I want to join the army reserves, and having any metalwork in my leg prevents me from doing so. I saw the specialist today and either I wait 6 months for the NHS to take it out for free or I pay £2000...

Is there an easy way for me to get other quotes for the work or to bring the cost down? Is health tourism worth considering? Any suggestions appreciated...

Nip Tuck UK

A189Nut — Sat, 10 Mar 2007 10:01:34 -0800

How do I go about having cosmetic surgery in the UK? Do I need to go to an NHS GP first to be "referred"? Or do I just look in the phone book? Is there a register of reputable surgeons?

Nothing serious - eye bags

Can I let the vampires get me?

talitha_kumi — Wed, 21 Jun 2006 01:24:58 -0800

I'm taking medication. Am I still eligible to donate blood in the UK? I am taking 60mg of Prozac a day. Does this make me ineligible to donate blood to the NHS? I can't ask the blood service because their web screening simply tells me to phone them to ask, and their phone lines are only open whilst I'm at work. And I don't really want to be having a conversation like this in the middle of my office with colleagues listening. Does anyone out there know the answer?

Black pit of despair

lunkfish — Tue, 24 Jan 2006 02:37:11 -0800

Is it alright to leave a dental cavity unfilled? I recently went to a dentist for the first time in years, and found I had some cavities. He's filled most of them, but there is one obvious one left. He said 'we'll just keep an eye' on my teeth now, and to rub sensodyne into the spots where I get twinges.

He's a good dentist, but being UK national health I'm suspicious that he may have his own reasons for not doing the work now. To my mind, it would be best to fill it so it can't get worse. It's not huge, but it is a little black hole.

What do you think? I could try and make them do it, or get it done privately. On the other hand, I am brushing really well now, and if it's okay to leave it a lot of hassle would be saved.