Ask MetaFilter questions tagged with Money and debt

Protection in a weakening economy

CollectiveMind — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:16:04 -0800

Our deficit and our debt are at record levels, even compared to WWII. Then, the debt was financed internally, not by other countries, so the interest we could pay was lower and the money was recycled in the U.S. Now, the debt and deficit are mostly financed by other countries through bond offerings and the like. And as they grow, those debtor countries will want higher interest rates on repayments, which drains money out of the U.S. Does anyone know of, or can anyone suggest a position to take in-case our national financial fortunes deteriorate slowly? A crash, understandably, wouldn't offer much safety for anyone except the very rich. And I'd expect social unrest would threaten even them at that point. But in general and for the average investor, are there any suggestions for investment or money/asset movement strategies that can protect one in an economy with (a) increasing foreign debt payments in the short term, (b) potential significant interest rate increases in the medium term and (c) lessened national economic influence on the international currency markets in the long term? I just can't seem to find any financial wonk willing to speak plainly on this.

Private Student Loans

rossination — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:35:30 -0800

Help me figure out my options for a small (~$4000) student loan. First of all -- forgive my noobish questions here. I am new to student loans and this whole process is getting overwhelming. I can't find previous AskMe questions that are particularly relevant, but if there are other pages that will answer my questions, feel free to direct me there.

I'm in my fifth (and final) year of my undergrad degree and have to take out some loans to cover part of my last year. I need about $7000 and I qualified for (and received) $3500 of subsidized Stafford loans, leaving me with another $3500 that I'll need to acquire through a private source.

What are my options for the private loan? I assume that I should be looking at credit unions first. The first one I visited today (WSECU) doesn't offer student loans, and BECU directed me to their online application, which says I'm ineligible for a loan unless I co-sign with my parents, as I make less than $3000 a month.

While I don't have a big problem having my parents co-sign a loan, I would much rather do this without them if possible, for practical and personal reasons. I have a pretty good credit score in the low 700s (no credit cards, one $4000 car loan that is almost completely paid off, always made payments on time, etc).

What this boils down to is: am I likely to run into the same restriction that BECU placed on me if I go to other credit unions? My gut tells me to avoid large banks, but should I be looking at Chase (my main bank) or other large institutions? What about Fannie Mae or other companies that specialize in loans like this?

Drop and give me 36 (months of consecutive on-time payments)

Anonymous — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 19:01:46 -0800

I'm looking for a financial coach, someone who can help me develop better financial habits. Does such a thing exist? I'm irresponsible with money. I forget to pay my bills, and end up paying them late so that I have late fees and the late payments go on my credit report. Or I just ignore them for a few months, until they get big enough that they're difficult to pay off. I set up budgets and then ignore them. I am cheap as hell with big stuff, and then blow my budget on stupid small things like eating lunch out every day. It's stupid and sort of embarrassing and I want to mend my ways.

I realized that what I need is someone who will look at all my regular bills, as well as my income, and help me set up payment plans and a budget, and then help me stick to it. Kind of like a personal trainer, but for money instead of fitness.

I'm not necessarily looking for a blog or a book that will help me do this. I've already read a bunch of books and blogs (Suze Orman is great) and I always come away with all sorts of good intentions, and then do nothing. I need someone who will help me develop a plan, and then hold me accountable to that plan for a few months while I get it going.

Ideally I would like to see someone locally (I'm in Seattle), in person, because it seems like that would be more effective and secure. I'd really rather not give all my financial info to a stranger on the internet.

I know about the credit counseling services, but it sounds like many of those are scams and even if they aren't, seeing one can adversely affect your credit rating (ah, irony). Internet searches result in a lot of these types of outfits. And it seems like financial planners are more for managing your investments.

How to get rid of credit card debt?

bluehermit — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 16:06:26 -0800

Credit Card debt for teh first time in my life, I'm lost as to what my options are. I have literally no one I can talk to about this and I feel like doors are being slammed in my face when I'm asking for help.

I just graduated in the spring with an Education degree and had virtually no money at the end of the semester. I had to move back to my city (better job opportunities) and some emergency expenses as well as bills starting to pile up. For the first time in my life I racked up my credit card because of that and struggled to pay it off, I'm at about $5400.00 on my credit card. I'm looking for a teaching job right now and in the meantime working at a golf course and tutoring in the side any spare moment I can get in.

I'm almost at my limit and am freaking out because I am living paycheck to paycheck. I have been not approved for balance card transfers from other companies or lines of credit, all say I have too much debt and don't make enough money right now. My last resort was my bank to do a consolidated loan and they submitted the application and I found out today I've been declined :( Same thing, I make too little money for a loan. They refuse to lower the interest on my CC and basically said I have no options....I have no idea what to do, I've had an account there since I was 7 and this this the first time I've ever had problems with debt.

I cut as much as I can for expenses, I have no cable, no land line, never eat out, walk instead of taking my car (unless I have no choice) etc. I've always been good about paying off my card, just times have been very rough for me right now. I feel like I've dug a hole that keeps getting deeper.

I'm so angry, frustrated and sad, I don't know what to do :( I'm bawling here... Any advice or ideas? (I'm in Canada if that makes a difference)

Credit card charge off: pay in full or accept settlement?

Nickel — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 00:11:15 -0800

Credit card charge off: pay in full or accept settlement offer? My 23 year old sister racked up some credit card debt during a low point in her life a few years ago and is now looking to tackle it and get her credit back on track. I am in a position where I can help her financially and would like to help her make the best decisions.

All of her credit card debt (~$7000) is charged off and sold to debt collection agencies. The agencies are offering settlement deals for a little less than 50% of the original amount owed.

1. I'm assuming that "charged off - paid in full" looks better than "charged off - paid a settlement" on a credit report. Is that right? Is it a significant difference or should we save the money?

2. How would these options actually be listed on her credit report?

3. If she does settle, can she ask that they remove the information from her credit report as a condition of settling?

4. If she pays in full, can she have the charge off removed from her credit report?

5. If I add her as an authorized user to some of my credit cards, will it raise her credit score? Will it lower mine?

NB. She talked to a credit counselor about a year ago, but couldn't afford the minimum due so they couldn't work with her. If you can personally recommend any counselors in the SF Bay area, I would appreciate it.

Shortening the leash on a financially irresponsible spouse?

Anonymous — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:19:44 -0800

Seeking techniques for aiding/supporting/educating a financially irresponsible spouse who talks the talk but won't walk the walk. My spouse and I have a very weighted financial relationship. I earn 90% of our income and handle 90% of the family financial responsibilities (getting and maintaining insurance, paying bills, getting rent paid, etc.). This in and of itself is unacceptable to me, and has been the subject of many discussions.

The salt in the wound, however, is my spouse's child-like self-control and sense of entitlement. We have a budget, spouse is aware of the budget, and professes to understand the importance of keeping within it. Spouse professes to check the bank balance daily and live within the funds budgeted for "pocket money". When we have the discussions, it's yes, yes, yes, and very convincing statements of understanding of how important it is to share responsibility.

Recently, with my approval, a new computer was purchased - big sums are not the issue here, they are always negotiated and discussed between us prior to purchase. However, the small things are the problem - $40 at the record store, $40 at the comic store, $40 on liquor (within 48 hours of a discussion on how we are "tapped out" on non-necessary spending under the budget). I can't get through here. In the last several days, there have been $200 in non-necessary spending, all knowingly in excess of the budget. No bills have been paid.

So, obviously, there is nothing really more to be gained from talking - spouse will say yes, irresponsible actions will continue nevertheless. I've tried taking away the ATM and credit cards, but I have two problems with that: (a) I'm not the parent figure here, and don't want to be in that bad emotional situation and all it causes, (b) It creates problems - spouse my go grocery shopping, get there, and realize spouse did not bring the credit card, or spouse may remember to bring credit card but not return it - method causes more problems than it solves.

So, I guess I am looking for advice/anecdotes/etc. on how you have solved these problems. Real-life strategies, suggestions, day to day ways you have helped problems like these, etc. Please, please, please be considerate enough to refrain from knee-jerk DTMFA comments, as we have been through hell this year (loss of a child), and I have no interest in that - I love and care for spouse, and am looking not to change my spouse, but to accept spouse and create joint management techniques that can work. Please also know spouse and I are both seeing a grief/marital/general support counseling professional.

30,000 dollars. Pay off loans or put it away?

Anonymous — Wed, 20 May 2009 10:43:04 -0800

So, I have about 25,000 I'm about to receive a bit from a settlement. With additional savings I have, I will actually have about $30,000 total.This is basically all my money, period- other than that I live hand to mouth. I also owe about 10,000 in student loans. I'd really like to get rid of those loans. However, would it actually make more sense to put my money in a high yielding savings account? I have a savings account that currently is 5% APR- which with 30,000 dollars would compound around $1,500 or so a year. But it seems like I might just as well pay off the student loans in a big chunk. Or would over the long run it make more sense just to keep paying the minimum on the student loans? The debt has been hanging over my head. But I like the idea of having the bank pay ME over a grand a year. Any advice?

What do I do about my school debt lawsuit?

Anonymous — Tue, 19 May 2009 13:00:17 -0800

I just got served papers showing that I am being sued for university tuition. What next? I'm scared. I moved away from home to attend university, but I was kicked out after a year for failing grades and back tuition. I owed approximately $10,000. After a few months of being away from the school and not paying them anything, I got a call from a collections agency. They had bought(?) my debt and were responsible for collecting. I made an agreement to pay $150 a month. I did that for 4 months or so, then there was an emergency that caused me not to be able to pay last September. Since then, I have been living paycheck to paycheck (literally, on $10.50/hr at 32 hrs/wk, so I know it shouldn't be that bad but I live with my boyfriend who has a richer lifestyle than I do and it's hard to say no when he asks if I can buy something) and have been unable to make the required payments. I was just served papers today that say I am being sued. I know you are not my lawyer, but I need advice. What should I try to do? How can I make this process less onerous? What do you expect will happen? Will this hurt my credit? Email at stupid.university.debt@gmail.com.

Does that make sense?

Anonymous — Thu, 07 May 2009 13:08:52 -0800

Debtfilter: Employer provides signing bonus structured as forgivable loan (forgiven if employee stays with firm long enough). Employee leaves soon after, and employer seeks to collect on loan. Employee is now a broke grad student, so employer offers to defer collection of loan until grad school is complete. Question: If length of time in grad school exceeds state statute of limitations on original loan, does this mean the loan will discharge itself before it can be collected? I know you're not my lawyer.

Cutting the umbilical cord

sixcolors — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 10:38:23 -0800

This moving out thing, uh...how do I do this (financially)? I often complain about my parents to my friends, random people, and even on here.

The most common comment/question I get is "Hey, why don't you just move out???"

If it were only that simple...

This is something I would love love LOVE to do, but I don't think I can afford it. I am underemployed. Full time jobs are hard to find. I do have the option of getting a second part time job, but that wouldn't give me benefits like a full-time job.

I have 50K worth of student loans, how on earth I would be able to pay rent, bills, gas, and food along with those student loan repayments (I calculated it will be around $500-700 a month)?

Well, I know I am no unique snowflake in this regard. I am assuming most 20-somethings who do live on their own, have some sort of debt...and car payments (thank God I don't have to worry about that one). I am wondering how do they do it? Am I missing something?

With my situation, I want to know what my options are.

I want my two dollars!

kaizen — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 18:20:48 -0800

What would happen if the United States defaulted on all of its debt, or simply said 'Screw off, I ain't payin!'. I know nothing about global finance, economics and power, but would like to understand what would happen if the U.S. could or would not repay its debt. If I default on a loan, someone is going to kick me out of my house. If the U.S. defaults on its loan, who would do the taking away, and what exactly would they take? If I am the biggest, meanest kid on the block, and everyone relies on me for candy, why do I have to pay you back? Can't I just kick you in the balls and keep your money?? I know this sounds stupid and simple, but what would stop the U.S. from saying to China, "F*ck you, I ain't payin, and by the way, I ain't buying anything from you anymore.". Who needs who more? How is power held it check when the sh*t really hits the fan?

Just walk away?

Anonymous — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 20:19:54 -0800

What if I just stopped paying my credit cards? I have about 12k in credit card debt. I currently have a mortgage and a car. I'm not behind on anything. My payments are made in full, plus some, every month. At this rate, I break even every month, but I have little cash on hand and no savings other than a few retirement accounts that are rapidly devaluing. My credit score is 815. It's looking likely that my job is going to be eliminated and sent to a certain third world country within the year. If I were to find a job that paid me ~70% of my current pay, I could still make my mortgage payments and car payments and insurance but there's no way to pay the cards. So what if i just don't? Is there any negotiation I can do with the credit card companies? Right now everything has been transferred off to low or no interest cards. What are my other options with this debt?

credit ratings across nations

Anonymous — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 11:34:02 -0800

I was born in the US, lived in Canada for ten years, and moved back to the States last year. While I was in Canada, I built up a solid credit rating- I had two credit cards, an unsecured line of credit with low interest (7%) and overdraft protection on my checking account up to $3,500. At one point when I was underemployed I built up some credit card debt, but I payed it off. Last year, when I moved back to the US for grad school, I got into a bad pattern of leaning on my credit cards and low-interest line of credit to pay for moving and start up expenses. This June, the world financial collapse coincided with one of my own- I was employed super part time, was making around $750 a month and was struggling to pay rent and buy $20 worth of groceries a week. I just couldn't pay my debt, and I paid very minimally, then not at all. I know I probably should have called the bank and tried to work something out, but what can I say- I panicked and froze. Currently, my total debt load is $14,000 on the line of credit, $3,700 on the overdraft and $1,400 on my Visa. I've worked hard to hustle up jobs, and currently I am no longer as financially destitute as I was. I also have just now been taken to collections. I have an appointment with Canadian credit counseling (the reputable nonprofit that everyone goes to) on Thursday. I plan on amalgamating and paying off the debt.

My question is: how much, if at all, will my credit raring in Canada affecr my US credit rating? So far there seems to be no bleed-through- when I applied for a cell phone a year ago, with excellent credit in Canada, I was told that I had no credit rating in the US- not a bad one, just a nonexistent one. I told them I had great credit in Canada, and was told that the two systems don't relate at all, as the identification markers (Social Security Number and Social Insurence Number) are different. So I'm wondering, if that's so, if it might be so in reverse- that I could maintain good credit in the US even if mine in Canada has taken a hit. I'm not planning on taking out any new credit cards or debt, have worked up a budget, and all the good stuff- but I'd like to know that I could rent a car, not be screwed if I moved and am applying for a new apartment, etc.

Also, I've been told that the credit counseling service may not be able to help me, as I don't work one full-time job- I'm a performer and grad student with several part-time jobs, and sometime chunks of money from performance gigs, grants, etc. So I'm also wondering- given that they charge a fee, might it be better for me to work out my own deal with collections? I can defintiely pay off the small Visa ballance in one chunk this month, and can pay perhaps $500 a month towards the other two after that. Not great, but I could have this debt paid in three years if I stick to it.

Finally, does anyone know of any good budgeting software/budget plans for folks who are self-employed who don't have a regular paycheck? It's been a struggle for me to budget when I might only get $1,000 one month from my regualr small gigs, but then get $3,500 in one chunk from a university performance. Most budget info seems geared towards folks who have one, or two, steady jobs.

Thanks in advance!

How can I reduce my debt & improve my situation?

foodybat — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 10:09:22 -0800

I'm upside down in my house, have about $38k in CC debt. I make good money, but wanna try to find a faster way to recovery. Most the consolidators want my situation worse in order to make it better... & they all seem to offer the same basic thing, which i don't think is in my best interest. What is my best move from here? my situation is;

I'm upside down on house (which seems to be common here in Florida)... owe ~ $365k, value is probably $280ish...
this is broken into 2 mortgages; 1 at $302k (30 yr fixed @ 6.375%)... NOT behind in any payments....
The 2nd at $54k (FRHEL ? - w/15 yr BLN @ 8%)... i am paying additional principle on this one of $150/month & ... same as the 1st mortgage...NOT behind in any payments.

i have about $38k in credit card debt... virtually all are 6-8% apr.... except 1..but that will be brought back down in 2 months.
I usually pay slightly more than the minimum each month & again, NOT behind in anything...

i make approx. $150k/year... (and that's after the 15% pay cut i just took) I think my credit score is around 700, but i'm not positive....I was told the only reason it's this low is my debt to income ratio... (being too high)

The Company I work for pays for my car & fuel, my wife's car has 2 years left on the lease @ $711/month (that I pay for of course).

We've reduced some incidental expenses, but seems to be a drop in the bucket.

I have a motorcycle i'm TRYING to sell that should generate approx. $14k.... that I intend to use that to payoff some of the CC debt ....

I've contacted a few debt relief companies... but they all seem to offer the same basic service.... they negotiate w/my CC co's to reduce my overall debt by approx. 40%... but only after I am 2 months late in payment (thereby in default)... This would destroy my credit (score), but reduce my debt by 40%...

My overall plan currently is to sell the bike, knock $38 to $24k... & stay on my same path until something changes...

I have no other income ... & many other obligations ... so there isn't much wiggle room.

At this point, I don't believe my job is in jeopardy, I just feel I'm passively sitting on the side lines & that I could do some thing else or perhaps there's a plan out there that could drastically improve my situation or at least get me on the path to recovery faster.

I am open to all suggestions...

When No More Debt really has to mean No More Debt.

Anonymous — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 08:57:57 -0800

Someone near to me has recently recognised, and begun to address, a serious problem with debt. The debt is not a result of extravagant spending; it seems to stem from persistently bad decisions about consumer credit, and a habit of repaying loans with other loans. So... once the debt has been consolidated and the credit cards have been destroyed, what measures can this person take to ensure they never, ever get into debt again? Is it possible to voluntarily ban oneself from being offered credit? The person is in Australia.

Lesser of two tax burdens?

al_fresco — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 15:40:17 -0800

My partner and I need to pay off some debt, and unfortunately we need to dip into our retirement funds. Our tax accountant is on vacation and we can't find the answer to our question. We have two sources–either sell some stock or cash out a couple of short-term IRA CDs. Which is the lesser of two evils? The service charge on either transaction would be about the same (~$50). We understand that the painful part would come in the form of the taxes on the amount we receive. Is there a difference in how the two types of transactions would be taxed? If we took a theoretical amount of $10k from either transaction, which would be taxed at a higher rate? What is the tax rate on either of these. I'm in California, and we'd need to do this before the end of 2008. If it matters, the money would go directly to pay off credit cards, car, student loans.

And it always makes sense to pay off debt before saving for retirement, right? (Higher interest rate on debt than retirement fund, blah blah). Oh, and we're living paycheck to paycheck.

Thanks in advance!

Is our money system broken?

symbollocks — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:01:56 -0800

[EconomistFilter] Are interest based money systems fundamentally broken? Here's the logic: You might have heard the thought experiment where we're all on an island using a fixed number of coconuts for money, and if we start lending coconuts at interest, we create imaginary coconuts so it's impossible for all the debts to be repaid. To make the simplest possible example, if there's only one coconut, and I lend it to you on the condition that you pay me back two, we now have two imaginary coconuts and only one real coconut. You can't pay me back two, so instead you pay me back one and become my slave.

So, are interest based money systems fundamentally broken? And how does this idea relate to our economy today (how does it translate into reality)?

Acquaintance of mine demands $210 from me immediatey...what to do?)

Anonymous — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:32:51 -0800

An acquaintance of mine insists I owe him $210 for a bong of his I broke. And to come up with the money NOW. Help! A short while ago, I was smoking out of a bong that belong to a friend of the person I was smoking with. I set it down to look up something on the internet, then when I got up my foot accidentally hit the stem and broke it. I told the owner (who was not present in said room at the time) that I broke his stem. He wasn't happy, but he thanked me for telling him. Shortly thereafter I left and went back to my place. The next day I get an email saying I owe the bong owner $210 for breaking his bong, since I apparently chipped the thing the thing that holds the downstem and it's beyond repair. Needless to say, as a poor college student who was just given a $382 ticket for M.I.P, I can't come up with that money; especially not in a few days.

Name That Loan Company

Anonymous — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 20:41:47 -0800

Help name my friend's finance business! Name my friend's finance business!

My friend is starting up a personal loan type business. (Personal, or debt cosnolidation - NOT Mortgages - Think Prosper.com) She's essentially a broker who helps get the I's dotted and the T's crossed.

Before you cry foul, the business model is based on 2 sales types.

1) a DIY kit that provides the basic information needed to phone/mail down the loan that fits your needs and listings of lenders that will meet that profile based on credit score and the types of lending they do. Cost for this will be a basic $49.95.

2) A "hold-your-hand" service with no upfront costs. Percentage due upon obtaining a loan. This service will likely speed up the results for the borrower as she's already got relationships with many of these smaller lenders and can likely pinpoint the best place to give the loan in short time frames.

A Bonus for both of these is that Credit/Debt awareness, ways to use the money to improve credit score, and a combination of the various Consumer spending knowledge/facts will also be distributed in package 1 and more direct training will be provided in package 2 (think consumerist, iwillteachyoutoberich blog, etc)

She also hopes to educate the borrowers on how she thinks it might be best get out debt or at least be on the right path with the new money they borrow (likely at way better interest rates than credit cards and such if they have a decent income and can snowball or payback their debt with a little help)

Problem is she's not a marketing whiz (nor am I)

Looking for a business name that sounds and looks good, hopefully with the .com available and if we're really lucky.. a 1-8xx-abcdefgh telephone number also available. (Phone number doesn't need to match the name, but bonus points if it can)

I think it's a worthy goal and many of the people she expects to help are either not web-savvy or wouldn't have the time and patience to try to sift through and piece together all the info and filter out the bad to get to the good stuff.

What do you think MeFi-tes? Worth your time and effort to help on this goal?

Financial crisis blog recommendations?

vizsla — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:21:38 -0800

Recommend any financial crisis blogs written by people who are following all the relevant indicators, or by people involved in the finance industry, who are trying to make sense of the market and economy?

liquidity, liquidity

Anonymous — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:47:38 -0800

Should use my mutual funds to pay off my credit card debt? Credit card debt is about $4K with an APR of 15%. Right now I can afford to pay a max of $300 a month--$200 more comfortably--toward my debt, and there are no bonuses or foreseeable windfalls in my future. I have about $22K in mutual funds: enough to have as an emergency/rainy day fund left over. Mutual funds are doing okay now, but obviously not making more than I'm paying in interest on the card.

Does it make sense to liquidate $4K to pay off the debt, or let it ride and chip away at it over time? Or should maybe I go halves--liquidate $2K now and chip away at the rest over time?

I have never had a head for numbers and can't figure out how to think about this.

Just as an insight into my spending habits: I usually am able to pay off my balance--I just use the card for the miles--but I had some medical expenses that I put on the card that have just accumulated a lot of interest, and I'd like it to go away.

My credit is excellent, so I don't feel a compelling reason to keep this debt around just to improve my score. (I have a student loan that I pay on time every month.) I also have a Roth IRA and 401k, so this is not my only cushion for the future. I am at least 30 years away from retirement.

Any insights appreciated. Thanks.

Can I take a Stafford loan without the help of my school?

serazin — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 19:29:07 -0800

Can I apply for a Stafford loan without going through my school? I am enrolled in a nursing program at a very disorganized and poorly funded community college. I started August 20. Due to "the new computer system isn't working" type problems, no one's financial aid paperwork has been processed for this year. So I've received no aid and neither has anyone else. The person in charge of loans is refusing to even talk to any students until "the computer system is fixed" which could be "never" as far as I can tell. I'm a broke single mama and I'm starting to get desperate.

I want to apply for subsidized and unsubsidized federal loans. Is there any way I can do this on my own - since the financial aid department will not help me or even talk to me?

Thanks folk!

How can I use my law degree and still like my life?

Anonymous — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 10:47:38 -0800

I'm getting a law degree but I hate being adversarial. Any ideas for something fun to do with this degree? I know there are books about this question, but I thought some of you lovely people might have personal experiences you could share, or at least some outside-the-box ideas.

I came to law school because I wanted to be a public interest lawyer -- I like helping people. I have one year left before I graduate and sit for the bar. I have spent the last two years learning about indigent defense and working at the public defender's office. Even though I think the work public defenders do is very important, I think it makes me miserable.

I admire public interest lawyers who fight for good, but the truth is that I just hate fighting! That is hard to admit, and it took me a long time to own up to it, but it's just true. Fighting just depresses me.

If I could turn back time, I would never have gone to law school. I would have opened up an organic coffee cart near the beach, or become a dog walker or something. But now I owe $120K in student loans (and by the end of this year, I'll owe around $180K). So I sort of feel like there is no turning back...I'm going to need to get a decent-paying job just to pay off the loans, which means something in the legal field. ...Right?

(For anyone wondering how my debt could be so huge: tuition is $35K per year, and I get about $25K per year for living expenses. Cost of living in my city is pretty much as high as it gets within the US.)

Do I have to go in debt over my friend's wedding?

gwenlister — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 04:44:45 -0800

Bridesmaid stress: My friend's wedding is costing ME a huge amount of money (it'll be over a 1000$ all said and done) and I do not have that kind of money to spend on anything. How do I explain this to her? One of my best friends is getting married new years eve this year and I am a bridesmaid. Already I have spent 300$ on the dress and shoes, and that alone is a hell of a lot of money for me. But there is more to come. I still am expected to pay for:
- hair and makeup the day of
- transport to the wedding (no car, so it'll be a 100$ bus ticket)
- paying for a hotel for myself the night of the wedding
- a wedding gift
- supplies for decorating her bridal suite (my assigned bridesmaid task)

Plus I got a message from her this morning that she wants me to supply nicer sheets for her bridal suite because the ones the hotel provide aren't "pretty enough". if the bed is a king size, which it probably is, I would have to purchase a set because no one I know has king size sheets I could borrow.

Basically, her wedding is stressing me out more than it is probably stressing her out. I want to make her wedding day as lovely and wonderful as possible, but does it have to mean costing me a thousand dollars when I am already in debt on my own? I have credit card debt and a student loan, and my salary gives me JUST enough money to pay to live and pay bills and leaves me with very little disposable income. How do I explain, without seeming super cheap and selfish because I am ruining her special day (which is kinda how she might see it), that I can't afford to do all these things? I do want to be involved in her wedding, and it isn't that I want to back out of all bridesmaid responsabilities, because if I did the cost would fall on the other two and both of them are no better off then I am. I know another of the bridesmaids is currently unemployed because she is taking care of her mother as she undergoes cancer treatment, AND she just became pregnant, so guaranteed money is tight with her too....

Am I being selfish? Should I just suck it up since she is my friend?

I'm also worried that if I DO say something she'll get really upset, freak out, and then start telling everyone to never mind, that she doesn't need her bridal suite decorated, that she doesn't need a bridal shower, that she doesn't need a stagette party, and would people please not bring gifts, etc etc etc. and basically cancel everything and go way overboard, when that wasn't the point.

HELP!

Why can't I close out and withdraw from my 401k? Any way out?

Anonymous — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 19:02:16 -0800

I want to close out my 401k (and pay the necessary taxes) so I can pay off some debt. My 401k says I'm not allowed. Why not? Can I change anyone's mind? I have relatively minor credit card debt n. I have meager 401k savings n. (I am only 23). I would like to pay off my credit card, and be putting the money I'm currently putting toward monthly credit card payments toward more immediately accessible savings. Additionally, my company has as of last month decided to start matching 401k contributions, so I'd rather be putting matched money in than letting the $n sit there doing not much in the stock market while I continue to accrue credit card interest. However, I can't put money in until I'm not worried about paying off credit cards.

So I called my 401k people (Fidelity) to ask to take the withdrawal. They said I can't. I said, are you seriously telling me I can't have my money? And they said that since I'm still at my current company, I can't do anything with it until I'm fired or leave voluntarily. I've got a while before I'm planning on either of those. What the hell? It's my money, isn't it? We wants it :(

The other option is to take out a loan, but I'm only eligible to take out loan n/2, and paying back loan + interest plus paying off the other half of credit card debt won't really solve my problem. My goal is to wipe out the debt, be able to start contributing small (matched) amounts to retirement, and separately do a better job of keeping an accessible savings account with monthly contributions.

So, question 1: Why can't I take out my money? What's the reason behind this? And is it likely that by arguing in a different way I could get it? I'm fully aware of and willing to pay the necessary taxes if they'll just let me get at the money.

Question 2: Any other options for what I'm trying to do?

(Anonymous because I don't want this connected to the real name I use on here)