A history of near-cheating incidents have me questioning some over-the-top comments my husband has made to some women. Can you help me tell if I am over-reacting and figure out how to proceed? [more inside]
Sweet fiancé and I are getting married in a park, in July. Seating is extremely limited. How do I work this out? [more inside]
We fixed lots of things about our marriage since my last question, but sex remains an issue. How long should I keep trying? [more inside]
I will be getting married shortly and am looking for advice on how to handle the digital part of combining lives and households. What are the current suggestions for how to integrate or manage digital assets - music, ebooks, online accounts, devices, and the like?
How should I let the ex-husband I'm still somewhat friendly with, know about my recent engagement? Difficulty: he (erroneously) suspects that my fiance was a primary factor in our divorce. Lots of details inside. [more inside]
My spouse did not vote for Trump, but he is a leftist who has a lot of frustrations with "liberals" and is...not as sympathetic as he could be. Even though he knows I fought Trump, he doesn't understand why I am so deeply affected and it is really affecting my stress levels. Please help! [more inside]
Question in light of the threat to Obergefell vs. Hodges, with transgender complications. [more inside]
Fiancé and I were planning (and have paid deposits for) a July 2017 wedding. Given the US election news (we are Americans, living in a rent controlled apartment in New York), is there any reason we should elope in the next nine weeks?
So, what would have to happen to undo same-sex marriage? How bad is this? [more inside]
Does anyone have recommendations for a good couples therapist/marriage counselor in the Ithaca NY area? Is this the sort of thing that insurance covers?
Mr Millipede and I got married in September. I am taking his last name (and moving my last name to my middle name), but I haven't gone to the social security office to do so yet because work has been very busy and I never got the chance. I now have time to go, but I thought of something: voting. [more inside]
I'm doing some research for a story about a broken marriage, and I was wondering if anyone knows of a Studs-Terkel-esque oral history containing interviews with people about their deteriorating relationships or the lies they would tell themselves to keep a marriage together? Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
My wife and I are in couples therapy, but I feel like we haven’t made much progress. Help me develop a strategy to get things on track. [more inside]
I am a happily married women in my forties and this is causing me some heartache. I would like to be friends with straight men that I find interesting without constantly thinking about them in a romantic way. How do I stop this? [more inside]
How do happily married interfaith couples (or those with one religious and one non-religious partner) make it work? What do your daily routines look like? And how do you maintain intimacy and avoid conflict around differing religious practices and beliefs? Looking for stories, anecdotes, books, articles, or other information about how interfaith couples navigate difference. [more inside]
I am engaged to a warm, loving, and strongly supportive man. We have incredible affection for each other, a ton of fun together, good communication, and a relationship that many would envy. We have talked about children and he would be a loving and devoted father. In a hundred different ways, he is a better partner than I could ever have imagined for much of my life. I love him dearly and am grateful to have met him. Now I need to decide if I want to sign up for a life with him or putting my money where my mouth is and moving to Crone Island for good. [more inside]
We love each other so much and haven't been married long, but he's not willing to try to fix things and I feel like we have no choice but to move towards divorce. [more inside]
We are getting married- yay! We live in NYC and are planning to stay for at least 5 years and hopefully forever. I've read past threads and other info about prenups and I think we could go either way. The big question is handling inheritances. [more inside]
We just got married. Is there a compelling reason to combine our finances? [more inside]
Remember the engagement BBQ? Well today is my and my husband's third anniversary! WOO! We joked that a third anniversary is probably the pickle anniversary and that they save all the expensive fancy stuff for the fives and tens of anniversaries. So now I want to do something special and pickle themed for him this weekend. I only have a couple days and limited means to pull this together, but in the green I trust... [more inside]
So – this question was me. The advice I got was so helpful that I’m coming back to ask for more. How can I make the best of a temporary separation from my husband? [more inside]
I'm looking for recommendations or guidance on how one can manage the mental and emotional challenges of being married to (and co-parenting with) someone who's afflicted by BPD/HPD [more inside]
What more can I (or should I) do in this family situation? There is such an imbalance of love and affection going on, I don't know what to even do any more. [more inside]
I'm a writer (read: I have not attempted to publish anything yet but I write. A lot.) I'm working on another novel and I want my writing to be as real and authentic as possible. However, I'm running into a gap in my life knowledge that I need your help with. (Please note: I'm not looking for you to post ideas or plot suggestions - I'm looking for a better understanding of real life, in all its messy and complicated glory, to draw from as I write this story.) [more inside]
My marriage is long gone, but I often wonder about this. We went to a counselor, and after a couple of sessions they stated that they could only continue counseling with one of us but did not specify whom or why. Any ideas?Are there certain circumstances in which a counselor does not want to treat a couple? Was it obvious that we were doomed to fail due to an individual issue with one of us, for example? Thanks for your input.
How do you know you're in love (and willing to spend your life with someone) versus just loving someone? [more inside]
My marriage is falling apart and I am getting very mixed messages from my wife. As she has finally started the road to recovery she also met someone else in AA and they are having quite the affair. I am struggling with the hurt and anger but also with still loving her and wanting her back. Please help me with some new perspectives. [more inside]
After three years of a stress in our relationship, my husband has lately been open to marriage counseling. He isn't all for it, but is willing. The thing is that I feel like I've been walking on eggshells for so long around him, I'm not sure how to even begin talking about things in this situation. [more inside]
I'm hoping that I can get some recommendations for places to get married in either Devon or Somerset in England. Me and my girlfriend are hoping to get married in March-April 2017. We have three main requirements for the venue: 1) We can hire our own caterers or have self catering 2) The cost of the venue hire excluding catering is less than £3000 3) That the ceremony and reception are in the same place 4) For the wedding venue to hold roughly/up to 150 people Also, we're having trouble finding a venue like this... is there any particular terminology for a more inexpensive choice of venue as we only seem to be able to find posh mansion/expensive manor type houses at the moment.
My father very much does not approve of my fiancée -- how should I proceed? [more inside]
People with long, reasonably rewarding relationships: how do you get through the times your partner is a bummer? [more inside]
So, it appears I have some kind of sexsomnia, where I masturbate while I'm sleeping. I will wake up occasionally with my hands in my pants, with no recollection of anything. This is bothersome to me and my husband, for different reasons. [more inside]
I just had a big blow up with my husband's "mother" and while he's taken my side, the more I think about it, the more it seems his story doesn't hold up, and I feel he kind of provoked the argument, but maybe not on purpose. Looking back, this seems to be a pattern. [more inside]
If you don't have any close friends or trusted relatives in whom you can confide, where can you find a sounding board for problems you're facing? [more inside]
How did it take you to fully recover from a significant betrayal by someone(s) you trusted? [more inside]
We're women in our early thirties, non-religious and not planning to have kids. I'm divorced, she's never been married. What do we need to know before tying the knot? [more inside]
I’m married, mid 30s, and of course, it feels like everyone I know is having children. I love children. I’ve told myself again and again that I’m not going to be a mother. I thought I had made peace with it, and was pretty convinced I did not even want to be a mother. That’s why this seems like a huge betrayal to myself and to my husband.... [more inside]
My sister-in-law is the most empathetic, caring for others person in the world & she is dealing with something hard: a husband who has been diagnosed with "dementia" in his mid-60s. The problem is finances... [more inside]
After moving from one corner of the country to the opposite corner 3 months ago, selling one house and buying another and spending $8000 on the move, we need to not live here because my spouse is absolutely miserable and staying will put considerable strain on our marriage and negatively impact our mental health (his in particular). I am very concerned about both the career implications of making a move so soon, and also that another move will put us into financial ruin. Snowflakes ahoy! [more inside]
My spouse has given me permission to have sex outside of our marriage, has expressed a desire for me to do so. This is not something that I have necessarily wanted to do, but I believe it is something I should consider for reasons I will explain inside. Have you or someone that you know done this? If so, what are the pitfalls? What are some good ground rules? What worked and what didn't? What should I consider before taking this step? [more inside]
My spouse works in law enforcement at the federal level. Recently, she has become increasingly paranoid about just about everything. She has told me to edit or remove some Facebook posts. She has asked me to delete an Instagram account I use for a local sports league I am involved in as well as my personal Twitter both of which are not public. She prohibits me from posting photos of our child. She demands I not post political things that might "make her look bad". I am not involved with or know with anyone she works with. Should I be upset or is this normal in the LEO world? It feels a little over-controlled and she will not discuss options or compromises. Any help would be appreciated.
I know this might sound like a somewhat dumb question, but it's something that I'm honestly confused about right now. So I'm hoping that some of you who are older/married/divorced/more experienced could help me. [more inside]
I'm fascinated by Phil's backstory (spoilers below the fold) on season 2 of the Netflix tv show Grace & Frankie. Are there any novels, short stories, movies, or TV episodes with a similar theme? I'm an atheist, so "religious-inspirational" might not be my cup of tea, but I'll try it anyway. I really do want to read these stories. I'm not much interested in Phil's current story (spoilers below the fold) -- just his backstory. [more inside]
My older brother just proposed to his girlfriend of ~1 year. Red flags have gone off at every turn in his rapidly-progressing relationship with her. Yesterday, he sent a message to me and my parents announcing his intentions to propose, and then it happened before I got a chance to talk with him. My question is, how do I respond to him? More details and a TWIST! inside. [more inside]
I changed my name on my marriage license (years ago, in California) but nowhere else. What's my legal name? [more inside]
Are there questions about race and culture that my fiancé and I should be asking ourselves as we figure out the answer to the dreaded Last Name Issue? [more inside]
I am more and more stressed over our household finances and I'm feeling horribly resentful and ungrateful. I would like some impartial advice/opinions. I have a therapist's session scheduled for next week but this is eating at me and I feel like I'm spending too much energy letting it roll around in my head. I make $135K per year, he *should* (key word) be making at least $300K a year, both gross figures. I pay 90% of the household bills. I have a hard time communicating with my husband. He often bends the truth or has a different version of the truth when pressed on an uncomfortable point. I like to think I am more fact-based, and when I press him, he often resorts to stonewalling or making statements that don't make logical sense. He does not have any expensive habits, he doesn't travel, drives a paid for car, and is generally a nice, well-liked guy. Where is all the money that seems to be normally expected in a practice like this? How do I explain to him that paying the majority of the bills is not working for me? [more inside]
I just found out that my husband of 6 years has had multiple affairs. I am devastated and I have no idea where to even start. [more inside]
We have been married for 2 years, and had a crazy amount of stressful things come our way at once. I don't have the best upbringing or modeling for the healthy relationship I strive for, but I do try. I need examples of healthy ways to think about these situations, healthy self-talk mantras I can use, and tools I can use to determine when I am being unreasonable and when I am being appropriate in my expectations. [more inside]
My husband of 15 years and I haven't had sex in seven months. We are mismatched sexually and are otherwise happy. How do I let go of the idea that sex with him is necessary? [more inside]