1331 posts tagged with Marriage.
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Bipolar: When to tell a date

I met a wonderful man who is smitten with me, and I with him. We have been talking on the phone for two weeks (we met online), and have had four fabulous, fun dates. He expresses that he really likes me. He is 37 and I am 30. He has been married before, and I asked him why they got divorced, and he explained to me that she developed bipolar disorder I with schizophrenic tendencies about 3 years into their marriage, and she could not get stabilized. She had multiple trips to the psych ward while he was in med school, and it was really hard on him. He was studying to be an anesthesiologist and the final straw was when his wife called his residency hospital and told them he was poisoning her with intravenous drugs. Well, that would all be fine and good, except...I have bipolar II. [more inside]
posted by asmith30 on Oct 5, 2015 - 24 answers

How do deal with "If you loved me, you'd..." in a relationship?

I come from an affectionate family; my husband is physically affectionate, but he says "I love you" to me basically on my birthday and Christmas (you get the gist). I've told him recently I'd like to hear it once a day or more, that it means a lot to me to hear it. [more inside]
posted by Piedmont_Americana on Oct 5, 2015 - 22 answers

Shoring up a marriage once the kids are a bit bigger

We have two little kids (almost 2 & 5). We love our two little kids. We're finally out of the pregnancy and infant stages, and maybe starting to get a little bit out of everything being in crisis mode all the time. But it's been a hard few years, and although our marriage isn't doing badly it feels like we really need to start working on us again. I'd like to hear from those of you a little further down the line of what you did to rebuild yourselves as a couple once your kids got a tad bigger and you could breathe again. [more inside]
posted by telepanda on Sep 24, 2015 - 20 answers

US permanent residency through marriage, difficulty: young relationship

I'm in the US on an F-1 visa, finished my Ph.D. and am currently on the post-degree OPT period which expires next May. My girlfriend and I have decided to get married so that I can stay in the country. We're in a bona fide relationship but have only been dating a couple of months, don't live together, and don't have the kinds of documents that most married couples can show to prove their marriage (e.g. joint lease / bank accounts). We’re getting a lawyer, but are also hoping to get some advice here from people who have been through the green card process. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 22, 2015 - 35 answers

Do you do share housework or do it all as a stay-at-home parent?

I'm a full-time mom of two children, one who is in school and one in preschool 2.5 hours a day. I'm trying to keep the house clean by myself, but am wondering- what works for you if you're also a stay-at-home parent? Do you do it all yourself or does your spouse help? What kinds of tasks do you share if you do share the housework? [more inside]
posted by percor on Sep 21, 2015 - 23 answers

One neat trick to dismiss Kim Davis' asshole bigotry

For some reason my mom decided it would be a great idea to let her married, lesbian daughter know that even though she supports gay marriage, she "sees Kim Davis'" point of view and thinks she should have the right to a religious exemption, or that she should "have the right" to keep her job because "the rules of her job changed". I was shocked in the moment and don't feel like I explained the case well. Now I'm looking for one good, objective resource that will explain this situation better. [more inside]
posted by nakedmolerats on Sep 21, 2015 - 18 answers

Advice for getting a UK fiancé visa in 2015

I'm an American man who just proposed to a British woman and I am wondering what pitfalls to watch out for in applying for a visa to enter the UK to marry. [more inside]
posted by johngoren on Sep 17, 2015 - 8 answers

Should we get married anyway and figure it out later?

My partner leaves home from May-October every year for work. I can't join him due to the nature of my own work. This might change in the future, but we want to get married and I'm increasingly unsure I (or our marriage) can cope with this kind of situation long-term. Details inside. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 16, 2015 - 30 answers

Being happy being child free?

I want to have kids, my wife doesn't. The discussion is over so I'm now facing the reality that one of my life goals will never happen. This is really difficult to come to terms with. How do I let it go, not resent my wife and live a fulfilling life possibly with a missing piece? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Sep 4, 2015 - 51 answers

Getting Social Security to change my middle name to my maiden name

I got married. I’m trying to change my name so my maiden name becomes my new middle name and I drop my given middle name entirely. It’s harder than it looks. [more inside]
posted by the turtle's teeth on Sep 3, 2015 - 30 answers

This One Weird Trick...Marriage Edition

I'm getting married this Sunday to a wonderful person. We've been together 5 years and have lived together for two of those years. We are both in our 30s. I'm interested in your "tricks" for a fulfilling and healthy marriage. [more inside]
posted by CMcG on Aug 31, 2015 - 42 answers

I am married and have left our shared religion. Can I make this work?

When my husband and I got married we were both practicing Muslims. We've been married almost 3 years and now I don't think I believe anymore. Can I make this work despite the religious differences? [more inside]
posted by deeba on Aug 22, 2015 - 17 answers

Solve this Memoir/History Problem For Me

Was interracial marriage ever illegal in New York State? What was the status of the law in 1961? [more inside]
posted by not that girl on Aug 20, 2015 - 10 answers

It Really Has Been That Easy For This Pretty Boy

So, I am married to a very pretty guy. We are both mid 30s. His entire relationship history includes women just throwing themselves at him, so he hasn't had to ever make any effort to learn how to be romantic or initiate foreplay. His current method is to just tell me he wants to have sex. When I complained that his method wasn't enough for me, he asked me what I want him to do. It is like I'm dealing with an adolescent boy. What resources could I steer him towards that don't include a sex therapist?
posted by LilithSilver on Aug 11, 2015 - 22 answers

How much conversation and together time should I expect?

How much conversation time or "together time" should I expect in my marriage? Do I have unrealistic expectations of what a healthy marriage is? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Aug 6, 2015 - 21 answers

Freaking Out About Ending Up Alone

Just like the title says. In the aftermath of a relationship, I’m panicking about being resigned to singlehood. As you might expect, snowflakes ahead. [more inside]
posted by xenization on Aug 3, 2015 - 16 answers

I want a divorce, he doesn't

After a long consideration phase, I have decided that I want a divorce but my partner is refusing to start the formal process. What can I do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 29, 2015 - 25 answers

What are the actual legal benefits of getting married?

Me and my partner are both of the same gender (male, if you really want to know), and we've been together on and off since late 2002. So that's...12 3/4 years? Something like that. Anyway, after everything we've been through, I'd be surprised if I ended up committing to anyone else, and although my personal marriage philosophy mirrors Joni Mitchell's ("we don't need no piece of paper from the city hall/keeping us tied and true, no!") the truth is that if I couldn't be by his side when he's on his death bed in the hospital, or if I got kicked out of my house by his brother or his nieces and nephews after he dies, I would absolutely lose my mind, and might actually end up hurting someone. [more inside]
posted by sam_harms on Jul 20, 2015 - 21 answers

How can I rebuild my self-esteem in the wake of his porn addiction?

My husband appears to prefer porn as his primary sexual partner. I'm not against porn, but I thought part of the agreement couples had was that porn was an appetizer and sex is the main course. It's killing me. I know I need to leave, but I live out of state from my family and friends and don't have anyone where I live with whom I can ask to stay. How do I remember his intimacy problems/porn addiction are about him (per my therapist) and not internalize all this more than I already have until I can cut the cord? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jul 18, 2015 - 31 answers

a big ole bag of confusion, a possible engagement, and me

When faced with sexual confusion, mental health struggles, and a possible engagement, what is a guy to do? [more inside]
posted by MyBeautifulThrowaway on Jul 8, 2015 - 27 answers

How to survive life post-divorce?

Need advice from the hive mind on life after divorce. More inside... [more inside]
posted by heartofglass on Jul 7, 2015 - 8 answers

What's wrong with marrying your first love?

Or what's not wrong with it? It's coming (or came) to the time where marriage is on the forefront of everyone's thoughts in my relationship. There's a lot of pressure to get married soon, and with a combination of dissenting internal and external voices, there's a lot of confusion going on in my head. [more inside]
posted by buttonedup on Jul 4, 2015 - 53 answers

Common Law Union

In consideration of recent developments, from the Supreme Court on gender neutral marriage, what happens with the already problematic legal territory surrounding Common Law unions? One aspect of this question could be concern about exposing my long-term roommate to my liabilities. Another might be having a rightful claim on shared property.
posted by yesster on Jul 2, 2015 - 8 answers

Getting married in Georgia in two weeks. Friend is officiating. Legal?

My fiancee and I are getting married in a secular ceremony in Atlanta (ceremony in Fulton County, living in Dekalb County) two weeks from now. Our friend, who lives in California, will be officiating the wedding. We've already obtained the marriage license but want to make sure that our friend is properly credentialed to make the marriage legal when she signs it after the ceremony. [more inside]
posted by rbf1138 on Jun 26, 2015 - 9 answers

Limerance Frequency and Duration

Folks in LTR - how often do you look up/think about/fantasize about new and exciting entrants into your life? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 26, 2015 - 12 answers

How to navigate a potential divorce?

Hi. This is me. I have been thinking for a couple weeks and am leaning towards divorce. I have multiple questions about this. [more inside]
posted by a strong female character on Jun 24, 2015 - 41 answers

Do I tell my friend that her husband left her to date a former student?

Should I tell her what my ex-friend is up to? If so, how should I tell her? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 20, 2015 - 31 answers

What hope is there for a marriage where there are political problems

What is the best hope (or is there any) for a marriage where extreme political disagreements have cropped up? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Jun 19, 2015 - 21 answers

Did my boyfriend just get married?

This is such a silly question, but I would appreciate AskMe's perspective. My boyfriend and I are long distance, and yesterday I stumbled on "wedding" photos of him and his ex that were taken two weeks ago. He told me that it was from a video that his university is making for new students to show how glamorous graduate school life can be (he's a professor and an alum). Am I being irrational in doubting him? [more inside]
posted by sockpuppetry on Jun 19, 2015 - 237 answers

If i invite one boss, am I obligated to invite the other?

The CEO of my company shot me a chat saying something alongs the lines of "My wedding invite must have been lost in the mail". (I requested time off from my job and cited the reason that I was getting married). [more inside]
posted by memi on Jun 10, 2015 - 23 answers

Stinky Cheese Time

Mr. Otter_Handler and I went to France in April and among many other delights managed to procure a small wheel of Livarot cheese, which was vacuum sealed by the fromageur when we bought it and refrigerated until our departure, then refrigerated once we got home. Mr. Otter_Handler opened it in late April, when in an effort to contain the aroma (yes, it does smell a bit like rotting cabbage) it was moved to a small dorm fridge in Mr Otter_Handler's study. It's June now and I can smell this cheese without opening the fridge. Is this cheese still good or can we say "au revoir" to this souvenir of Normandy?
posted by Otter_Handler on Jun 8, 2015 - 9 answers

How has marriage been used as a punishment?

I'd like to know more about the history of forced marriage as a consequence of wrongdoing. Where and why it has been practiced? [more inside]
posted by vathek on Jun 4, 2015 - 8 answers

Do I want to interrupt an engineering career to do patent law?

I’m trying to determine if it’s worth it to plan a career change from engineering to patent law, with a lengthy, difficult, expensive stop through law school first. Have you done this? Do you have special insight? [more inside]
posted by rybreadmed on Jun 3, 2015 - 17 answers

Should I believe a 40+ man who says he doesn't believe in marriage?

I've been dating a never-married man in his early 40s for the past few months. (I'm a decade younger.) Last night he casually mentioned that he never wants to get married and would be fine with raising kids without marriage -- just as HE was raised, as the only child of an unmarried mother. I am devastated because I am falling in love with him but cannot accept this commitment-free future. Should I get out now or endeavor to change his mind down the road? [more inside]
posted by Guinevere on May 23, 2015 - 60 answers

Not invited to the wedding

My brother-in-law invited my wife and my kids to his wedding, but not me. This evening, he texted my wife asking her to do a reading at the wedding. She's going to say yes. I feel amazingly resentful. Help. [more inside]
posted by QuantumMeruit on May 14, 2015 - 36 answers

Not marriage material

My boyfriend made a joke about men not wanting to marry me. I can't stop thinking about it and feeling terrible as a result. [more inside]
posted by sockermom on May 12, 2015 - 114 answers

Resources for surviving emotional abuse

I'm seeking techniques, advice and resources on how to protect oneself in an abusive relationship. [more inside]
posted by Les Socks Du Mal on May 6, 2015 - 14 answers

Help me cope with my anxiety about my wife's anxiety!

My wife struggles with anxiety and paranoid thoughts about our marriage. She'll often start asking questions of me about where I've been, if I'm seeing anyone else, whether I want to leave her and whether I think I'd be better off without her. I'm used to this, and I know that these are just intrusive thoughts rather than what she rationally believes, but I'm about to go away for work and I can't stop feeling anxious about what might happen whilst I'm away. [more inside]
posted by yasp on May 1, 2015 - 75 answers

Am I really wrong for wanting my husband to stay in counseling?

My husband and I have had a terrible past year. He has verbally, emotionally and mentally abused me. We each started into individual counseling last fall. His counselor is extremely perceptive and has keyed in on behaviours that lead to him abusing me, and we've both noticed real improvement at home as a result. After one month without any abuse, now he wants to quit counseling. This led to a nasty fight, where he thinks that I am a bad, manipulative person for wanting him to stick with counseling. Now I feel absolutely awful in every way. [more inside]
posted by chatelaine on Apr 29, 2015 - 115 answers

Strategies to overcome insecurity/jealousy of husband's female friend?

In the past several months, my husband has become close with one of my female friends, and they have started spending a lot of time together and texting each other almost daily. I'm uncomfortable with this, but I know this is my own issue to overcome because I trust them both and am 100% confident nothing questionable is happening between them. [more inside]
posted by Librarypt on Apr 21, 2015 - 95 answers

How to handle an affair?

Looking for suggestions on how to deal with the emotional aspects of an extramarital relationship. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 17, 2015 - 13 answers

Same-Sex Wedding Etiquette: Do We Invite Non-Supportive Parents?

My same-sex partner and I have decided to get married. However, on both sides of our family we have immediate family members who are either tepid or outright hostile to gay marriage--specifically, both sets of parents. Should we extend to them invitations to our wedding anyway out of courtesy or deliberately not invite them? [more inside]
posted by Quaversalis on Apr 15, 2015 - 42 answers

Married and having dreams about exes. What to do?

My partner is having mental health problems that prevent him from being a full partner to me right now. I don't know if it's causal, but for the last several months I've been having dreams of (and thinking about) a specific ex. What does this mean and how should I deal? Complications inside. [more inside]
posted by sockmeamadeus on Apr 11, 2015 - 25 answers

He may be cheating but maybe not?? What to do?

I have a dear friend that I've known for over 10 years. Went to visit her and her husband last weekend. While we were there, her husband told my husband that he's been spending time with a younger "party-girl" during his recent business trips. They hit the bars and stay up late drinking. My husband asked if he'd cheated and he answered "no comment". My husband was stunned and not sure how to handle the situation but is now quite upset about it and feels stuck in the middle. He also doesn't want to interfere in the situation any further. [more inside]
posted by Ms.Pants on Apr 11, 2015 - 65 answers

How did you organize your decision making around divorce?

I'm debating getting divorced. I'm interested in the decision-making process. If you've debated getting a divorce - whether you ultimately decided to or not - what did your process look like? What did you do? [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 10, 2015 - 24 answers

Sex Therapy Books or other resources

My wife told me last night that she has lost interest in sex. We'd like to go see a couples sex therapist, but that's not something we can afford at the moment. Until that changes, can you recommend books or online resources that might be able to help us?
posted by moonroof on Apr 7, 2015 - 14 answers

What does it look like for financial values to fundamentally change?

My SO & I are in our 30’s, have been dating over a year and have been talking about marriage. We are having a crisis over our differing financial values. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Apr 1, 2015 - 21 answers

Last minute marriage, need to not pay for health insurance twice

We got married on the spur of the moment and are now facing the prospect of paying for health insurance twice for the first couple of months of being married. [more inside]
posted by anonymous on Mar 28, 2015 - 4 answers

Give me your best NON-RELIGIOUS wedding readings

I'm looking for a short reading for our wedding that we can ask an athiest friend of ours to read. Other portions of the ceremony will contain religious elements, but we don't want to ask him to read anything that might make him feel uncomfortable or awkward. [more inside]
posted by rainbowbrite on Mar 25, 2015 - 29 answers

Marriage models?

Looking for research on good marriages, not memoirs or personal anecdotes. My therapist asked me the qualities of a good marriage and I hadn't a clue. My immediate family are all unhappily married, and I only recently realised how fearful my own marriage is and left. I basically assume that "If they're not beating you or cheating on you, that's enough." I'm looking for what comes after reading John Gottman: research on thriving marriages, including multicultural or historical. Books, documentaries, films and novels, scholarly keywords etc. I'm not looking for personal accounts but bibliography recommendations.
posted by dorothyisunderwood on Mar 22, 2015 - 15 answers

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